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View 1 posts and 1,109 comments by ayeayefitlike on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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105

Discussionayeayefitlike/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 09:51 AM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,109 comments.
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6

I’ in a similar situation to you. My fiancé will cry in front of me, and his favourite thing is to snuggle in under my arm and get his head petted. It’s so fucking cute I could squish his face. If he was stoic and cold we’d have broken up years ago! Not every woman is the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 04:59 PM
2

This. The type of sex matters more than how many bodies per se.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 07:58 AM
–

Absolutely. It’s in my last paragraph.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 07:31 AM
–

They’re not, but also having no experience of real relationships whilst watching constant female objectification and hearing how other people are getting it? That’s going to build resentment too. Oh, I definitely equate vibrator over-use to death grip syndrome, for sure. But that’s not necessarily directly linked to porn use, particularly in women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 12:11 AM
–

There’s a number of reasons. If you use a lot of porn, it’s going to cloud how you view real sex. And real sex just isn’t like porn - not good sex, anyway. Porn is a performance designed to be visually stimulating, not to feel good for both parties. If you watch a lot of porn, no matter how much you might logically know it isn’t real, it can affect how you approach sex. When it gets bad is if you try too hard to make real sex like porn sex, purposefully or subconsciously, and your real sex life …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 11:21 PM
7

This. I’ve had girl friends stop me making out with guys I’d definitely have regretted when sober.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 07:44 AM
11

This 100%. Personally I don’t find him that attractive but that’s because I can’t mentally separate him from 1D and tweeny boppers but he’s quite popular with young women for the exact reasons you state.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 01:00 PM
2

I’ve never had a bill paid for me on a date in the UK (mostly lived in Scotland but a few years in London too) until I had been on multiple dates with someone and started doing turn about. Maybe I’m just unattractive but my friend circle seems to have had a similar experience and some of them are very fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 10:42 AM
1

This. I’ve never been insulted by a guy openly asking for casual sex. It’s not my thing, so I always nicely turned them down, but no offence ever taken unless he doesn’t stop pushing after a no. I much prefer the honest statement of intentions than a guy lying to try and get you in the sack.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 09:09 AM
25

Can I also say on the seatbelt thing than I had never considered this at all before, but the seatbelt ending up at my neck always happens, and I assumed they were this uncomfortable for everyone. It just prompted a conversation with my fiancé where he was equally as confused that they do this on me but not him. Thanks for pointing out something I’d never really thought about but is totally true.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 09:28 AM
2

This. Mine have been together 34 years, one set of grandparents were just shy of 50 years and the other are celebrating their 60th anniversary this year. Only one of my 8 blood related aunts and uncles have been through a divorce. I’ve seen a lot of good role models for marriage when growing up, and have seen the things that vary and are also the same between long term married couples. I’ve only been with my fiancé six years so far but I’m very happy and not concerned about getting married.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 05:51 PM
2

Agreed - I’m an extrovert and my fiancé is a shy, introverted type. He loves that I drag him along to new places and meeting new people and all that stuff. I love that he’s so sensitive, a good listener, and is just far more thoughtful than I am. He also keeps ‘on topic’ and focused more than I do - and he uses that to help keep me on topic too. Our strengths and flaws balance each other out. And, as a shy guy, I loved that there were none of the usual ‘games’ when we were dating. He was straigh…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/22 09:44 AM
1

Christ this description makes me want to puke. If someone tried to choke me or pull my hair or any of that dominant bullshit I’d be out of there. Same with a cervix pounding - it is a horrible feeling for me when someone hits my cervix, it makes me want to puke. Sex is over at that point. Anyone assuming that’s how every woman wants sex to be is going to get a shock.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/22 09:34 AM
1

For neuroticism, take a look at this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/22 09:29 AM
1

45 year old is worse to me, but 16 is the age of consent here so it’s not actually illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 11:40 PM
1

So what bit of what I said was offensive? How long the relationship has been? The fact we’re getting married? Are you offended if people post saying the here married?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 09:51 AM
2

So I can’t say I’m in a relationship? How do you contextualise your viewpoints if you can’t give your background without offending someone? And especially this particular thread, it explicitly asks people in ‘mutually healthy relationships’!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 09:46 AM
1

Here what is again and what is unnecessary? Pointing out that the guy I’m with (and pointing out that we’ve been together a while and therefore I know him and his history pretty well) has had a totally different experience and feels very differently on a lot of issues?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 08:18 AM
2

Dude I don’t. I do get it. And really sympathise! I agree that in the western world, men at at a real disadvantage in a lot of ways, and male mental health episodes and suicide is at an all time high. I absolutely get it. And I’m prepared to discuss and debate alternatives. But there is only so much you can take without it affecting you, that’s the point I’m making. Hence why I dip in and out.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 08:07 AM
2

Yeah that pretty much sums it up. Despite the fact I’ve been in a LTR for six years and am getting married next year to a guy that has also had a totally different experience of the world, it’s the fact I’m a woman that they use to refute me rather than having a different life experience. The futility of arguing gets to you after a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 07:43 AM
1

Yeah I know - but I find that I can only do so much debating with them (especially when very set in their mindset) before I need to step away. But I keep popping in.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 07:32 AM
3

I’m here because a good male friend of mine got into online TRP communities and we just saw him get more and more angry and miserable. I wanted to know what caused that, and Googled some of the stuff he spoke about. Unfortunately our friendship ended when he started directing resenting those of our friend group who are female. But at the same time, through learning about TRP and the manosphere I’ve learned about a lot of problems facing men that I hadn’t appreciated even existed before. I don’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 11:28 PM
1

I absolutely agree that no one from these wider groups (vegans, animal rights activists, feminists, fundamental Christians, Muslims, far right groups like the EDL, the manosphere, etc ad nauseum) should be being scrutinised simply for being part of these groups - the vast majority of all of them are not in any way violent. I definitely agree with you there. But it is important to study these groups to aid in understanding the motivations of those who do engage in violence, as it can help predict…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 04:41 PM
1

I mean, misogyny =/= terrorism and violence. Anecdotally half the folk on this sub have seen a misogyny and patriarchy associated with manosphere culture. And manosphere culture isn’t unique to incels either. But none of that is a direct tie to terrorism, it’s just a group where radicalisation hasn’t really been studied. Again, not really seeing anything to be outraged over here in terms of how they’ve presented that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 04:16 PM
1

That quote doesn’t say terrorist training zone at all. It recognises that terrorist incels don’t stem from nowhere and there is a vast incel culture online - much like there is a vast Islamic culture and some small radical subgroups of it become terrorists too. I don’t understand why that isn’t obvious?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 03:55 PM
1

I mean we can say the exact same thing about various groups such as vegans, Muslims, climate protest groups etc - that some of them are motivated to violence. They literally say ‘some’. And all three of those examples above gain plenty headlines too.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 03:37 PM
2

Not just - there was concerns that funding was being diverted away from those studies, and that Chinese students were placing pressure on university administration to remove those topics from group discussion teaching (for fear for their own safety). So an insidious censorship rather than an outright one, but that’s the only way it could really happen in the West now.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 02:05 PM
4

I never said I was ignoring the opposite. Just that they weren’t reaching to claim that some incels perpetrate real-world violence. One being true doesn’t stop the opposite being true - both the left and right have radical groups and terror attacks to their names.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 10:38 AM
3

It’s been a while since academics in the West really had an issue with being censored by outside forces Well, it depends what you classify as censorship. There’s been a lot of talk in the UK over censorship of Hong Kong and China studies.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 08:43 AM
6

Is it? I mean, Jake Davison and Elliot Rodger?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 08:34 AM
2

Whilst probably a little under half of my friends have had casual sex, only one has done whilst away on a trip. Most of my friends who are into casual sex like to make it as safe as possible for themselves, so doing it in a city/place you don’t know, where you don’t have people nearby you could call if you needed help/an urgent lift etc is a bit iffy. But ymmv.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 10:58 PM
1

I suppose at its most basic. This is very much towards the end of the red pill spectrum of advice that I don’t think any sensible person could argue with, unlike some of the AWALT branch swinging hamstering stuff that gets spouted.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/21 10:30 PM
0

Do you think this sort of thing is something that guys need to clue each other in on, or is there something women could say/do to make this clearer (without sounding like a ‘it’s not you it’s me’ excuse)? Or is it just inevitable that we always misinterpret each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/21 10:10 PM
7

This is absolutely and totally correct, but can I just say that as a woman I never realised this was something guys were misinterpreting?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/21 09:52 PM
2

Or the other way round - you think they’re okay looking but not crazy hot, and then you just gel with them really well and have great conversation and get each other’s humour and find them really interesting, and suddenly you think actually they’re a lot better looking than you realised. That has happened to me a few times.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/21 09:46 PM
1

Honestly, I’ve never actually had ended up having sex that I didn’t want to have. Even with my fiancé (who I’ve had the most sex with of anyone ever so has the most data points!). I have definitely pushed myself a bit when I wasn’t totally in the mood, but if I didn’t get into it before the actual sex part came along I’d have said to him I wasn’t feeling it and call it a day. I’d expect him to do the same - I’d hate it if he wasn’t enjoying it and just making himself go through with it. I’ve had…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 07:48 PM
7

I agree to a point. I do think that guys should have the right to abdicate responsibility in the same timeframe that women have to have an abortion. However once the child is alive, the child support is ultimately about providing for the child, not the mother (and here in the UK I know a few mothers who pay child support to the father instead), so I do definitely support child support as a concept (albeit one that needs reform).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:18 PM
4

… what has that got to do with my comment or this comment thread?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 03:14 PM
10

This is probably the best analogy I’ve seen as a woman. Finding someone physically attractive before you consider anything else is as implicit as a beer being cold.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:23 AM
1

It’s up to him what he wants to do, and I’d support him either way. We would be having a conversation if he was insisting on a combover though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 09:56 PM
2

I’m turning thirty later this year. I don’t comment a lot on this sub because honestly I find it so far from my experience of women and relationships and quite depressing because of it, but I hang around because I really do feel for modern guys and the issues that get raised here are important. I don’t think being 30+ means you’re out of touch with the SMP, just the SMP is different at that age that’s all (thank god!).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 12:43 PM
6

This. If they’re fishing for how many girls you’re seeing, you can be honest and say only her if you want to, but don’t add in the why. It’s not necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 08:16 AM
4

I mean… his last girlfriend was better looking than me. He clearly has good taste, what can I say. People value different things as they experience different relationships, and ours is clearly working as we’ve been happy together a long time now, so honestly I don’t really care whether his ex(es) are more social, better looking, more confident etc, he obviously likes something about me and enough to still be here. He’s not average looking though, he is definitely good looking. And I wouldn’t be …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 07:29 PM
2

I never said it was evidence. The evidence is completely secondary to me. If I no longer trust them without evidence to the contrary and can’t trust their word, then the trust has been broken regardless of whether they have actually done anything. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m suspicious of my partner and can’t trust their explanations. That’s it. I’ve discussed this with my partner before, and he knows my feelings on this (and agrees). It’s more about trust than actually what t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 10:22 AM
3

One red flag. That’s why it’s red. Yes, if I really need to see that phone to trust that person, then the problem isn’t their phone, it’s lack of trust. That’s the death knell of any relationship IMO. Yellow flags, where I upfront go ‘that was a bit weird, what was that about?’, is something else. If they have a good explanation and I’m comfortable then it’s all good. But if I can’t take their word and their explanation, the trust has gone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 09:55 AM
4

This would be a nope from me. The minute you or your partner start getting suspicious, to me that’s the trust gone and the relationship over, regardless of whether they’ve actually done anything. My partner agrees with me. We both know the codes to each other’s phones, but snooping would be a big breach of privacy to me and a sign that we don’t trust each other. Trust is just so important to me in a relationship, I wouldn’t want to be in one without it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 09:51 AM
1

Absolutely not. No one, woman or man, should be happy to be settled for. And no one should put up with being an orbiter or a plate or any of the terms we use to mean people being led on at a chance for a relationship they want that is never going to happen but they’ll be used for their resources while they wait. However, people still do it, either from wishful thinking, determined ignorance or fear of being alone forever. Which is sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 01:09 PM
1

Very possibly. But if so, I expect it was more by female influence around him growing up than anything else. He’d be the first to say that he’s become much more open about being who he is since we’ve been together (5 years) and wasn’t like this with his previous girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 07:48 AM
29

As a woman whose straight male partner is even more picky about furniture, artwork, home decor etc than I am, and asks me if he looks good in clothes more than I do him, absolutely. Some men do care about this stuff, much like some women (myself included) don't really.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 04:27 PM
4

Agreed. It’s why I hated Tinder so much when I tried it - I tried swiping on guys who had interesting photos or looked like they were having fun, but it’s really hard to get any sense I what a guy is like that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 07:56 AM
9

Also the fact that ‘I never want kids’ can become ‘I want kids with my partner’ once you get into a good relationship. I was adamant I never wanted kids until I met my partner - now I want his kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:41 AM
–

It would be super interesting to know who these young women are sleeping with - the 34% of male uni students who are getting laid (similarly aged ‘Chads’), or older men. Both are RP theories but would be interesting to see which is the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 09:31 PM
5

Yeah, like hysterectomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 08:24 PM
25

And hysterical. It’s been aimed at women alone for hundreds of years.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 05:49 PM
12

Or Scotland!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 05:48 PM
1

Whilst that’s true, the heritability for height is around 79% so the vast majority of phenotypic variation is explained by genetics. It’s not as simple as average height of parents and environment does have a role, but height is one of the classic quantitative trait examples because it’s so heritable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 07:13 AM
9

It’s not specific to men, and absolutely happens with older women and younger men too. Significant age gap relationships with the man as the elder are more common than vice versa, so this gets brought more in relation to older men. Not exclusive to them though.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 10:25 PM
2

Who cares about any of this thread?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 04:17 PM
1

Try attending a wedding as a single woman and see how not-true that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 03:36 PM
5

you also don't have societal messages being thrown at you telling you that if you're not fucking, dating, you're basically an emasculated loser who unworthy of respect. No, but women have societal messages thrown at them saying that if they aren't marrying and having babies then they aren't real women, and no other achievements will make up for that fact. But you're a man, so you won't understand that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 02:49 PM
1

I only went on a handful of dates in the US and nothing serious, but it was way more full on to me. Guys were a lot more direct and forward, and every first date was a dinner date which was so weird to me. And guys were a lot more overt about trying to get in your knickers. But then perhaps where I was living wasn’t the most representative (Houston). The only U.K. place I’ve found even vaguely similar is London, which is a world apart from everywhere else in the U.K.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/21 11:55 AM
1

But you said never outside the US, and that’s not correct. You didn’t say Anglosphere or equivalent. Also, ‘dating’ (because we don’t call it that) is totally different here compared to what gets described about the US. Formal dates aren’t much of a thing (more like drinks and stuff, dinner dates aren’t something you do with people you don’t know!), guys aren’t expected to pay, there’s no ‘defining the relationship’ wrt exclusivity (it’s expected after a while unless stated otherwise) - a lot of…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/21 11:43 AM
2

I’ve had that conversation with everyone I’ve been in a relationship with, and I’m U.K.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/21 11:28 AM
2

Not the prettiest but the best personality? Compliment, honestly. I’m not even the best looking sibling in my family let alone in the world - I happily admit that and it doesn’t bother me. So being physically attractive enough and being boosted by personality I’d absolutely take, especially as it (hopefully) means ageing isn’t going to send him into the arms of another woman if he’s already choosing to date me based on my personality. Being told I’m ugly or actively unattractive would make me qu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 10:25 PM
1

But you said you can only have contentment, not happiness. I very much disagree. The lack of happiness is only from not having something to contrast it with - but other things can be the source of the contrasting strife and difficulty, not your relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 04:57 PM
8

No one can be completely happy and fulfilled, totally agree. However there’s nothing saying you can’t be happy and fulfilled in your relationship, and the goals and striving are more external. My parents have been happy together for thirty odd years, and they’re always planning their next trip or the next DIY or garden project. They’re always planning or doing something, and then on to the next thing. But they do it together as a team and neither is being left behind or expected to carry all the…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 04:47 PM
2

To be fair, you shouldn’t be asking either of them for dating advice - dad isn’t going to give good advice to his daughter about landing a desirable LTR, and mum isn’t going to give good advice about getting girls in the sack. However, if they are trustworthy and switched on, no reason they can’t give good advice as to whether the guy/girl you’ve brought home is a good choice or not. Dad will know guys, and mum will know girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 10:24 AM
4

Not the poster you replied to, but I’ll be 30 later this year, and 10 is a way higher number than mine and indicates a very different attitude to sex and relationships. It might be ‘not bad’ on average but still not my cup of tea, which I think reflects the top level poster’s point about similar N pretty well.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 07:55 AM
5

This did make me laugh. If knowing what I want and not caring about asking the awkward questions to find it makes me timid, then I’m clearly timid as a church mouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 12:04 AM
8

So clearly you and I are not in any way compatible. The method works!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 11:48 PM
7

Not for me it doesn’t. Seems really stupid to wait til after when I know I wouldn’t want to sleep with him if I don’t like the answer...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 11:39 PM
9

Maybe the kind of women who jump into bed with a guy, sure. It’s not an unusual attitude to have, and fair play to them. However, I most certainly do ask, and have with both my LTRs. If we’re intimate enough to have sex, we’re intimate enough for me to ask about his sexual history. Doesn’t stop him lying, but that’s a whole different question.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 10:59 PM
10

Read what I said again. All else equal. Realistically, the chances of me meeting a virgin of a similar age to me that would be compatible for an LTR is low - but it’s absolutely zero for a high N guy as that’s a massive nope for me (gag). So yeah, I absolutely stand by it. It’s not in any way a virtue signal, I just find the idea of a guy who has dipped his wick in every vat of wax more repulsive than someone who hasn’t at all (especially as I was fairly late before I lost mine, too). I’m not go…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 10:31 PM
11

Absolutely agree - I’m very much the same. I’ve been in two LTRs, no casual sex, and if I was single again I’d be looking for a guy in a similar sort of boat. But all else equal, I’d take a virgin over a high N any day.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 07:39 PM
2

My type is blue eyed, blonde rugby players, educated and usually in engineering, usually a bit shy/quiet. Partner fits this to a T. When I used to work in bars, I used to attract a lot of forward, confident guys who slept around a lot, but were adamant they really liked me and wanted to date me. I always assumed this was bullshit and just the method for getting my type (ie the challenge of a barmaid definitely not interested in casual sex) into the sack. It was a bit of a running joke with my fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 11:16 AM
3

Not quite true. End of the baby boom is usually classed as 1964. My parents are ‘63, one is 58 the other still 57, and technically could be as young as 56 and still a boomer...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 07:01 PM
2

Yeah it’s bollocks imo. Not only the bit about men not wanting female friends and women wanting male friends, but all the way down to the fact that plenty of men don’t even like sports... if anything, I’m far more into sports than most of my close male friends. People who can’t have opposite sex friendships are either too caught up in what other people think (from kids and cooties to adults implying you’re banging), are totally reducing the opposite sex to their stereotypes instead of treating t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 01:31 PM
1

Exactly. There’s a middle ground between being a doormat and being so demanding and uptight that you select for people who are good at playing games!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 05:37 PM
2

I remember having so many ‘rules’ for OLD - he has to message first, he has to propose a date, he needs to text me within 2 days of the date, never accept a date with less than 3 days notice, play it cool (always), if he doesn’t kiss me on the first date he’s not interested, never double text, if he tries to get me to go home with him on the first date he’s a nope, always have a date planned with another guy so you don’t get attached too soon, etc etc. I remember dissecting texts with my girlfri…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 09:19 AM
3

It’s a different angle on it - more like stand up for yourself, don’t tell yourself you deserve to be treated like shit. Personally I’ve never had trouble with that, but I know a lot of women do and it’s not a bad thing to have a supportive community reminding you of it if you do need it. Very different to the kind of improvement that TRP preaches but both end up with more confident individuals in the end in theory...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 10:20 PM
3

So is just being a self-assured person who doesn’t put up with bullshit - you don’t need to go to the other end of the scale and become manipulative yourself. All of this mess (TRP, FDS, bellends in general) is why simply looking for a good LTR becomes so exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 09:36 PM
27

Yeah you’re right - TRP does at least work for getting girls into bed, but FDS is at most going to result in strings of dates that go nowhere? The ‘improve yourself’ bit I agree is the best of both of them and a huge take-home. But for landing good LTRs...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 11:07 AM
70

Absolutely this. My partner of 5 years is the best person I’ve ever met, and we never would have gotten together if I’d followed FDS or he’d followed TRP/PUA because were both very self-confident and don’t put up with bullshit. I admire him a lot for it, but it means using these sorts of techniques to manipulate people wouldn’t have worked at all. I really do believe TRP/FDS selects for the type of person it works on, which is rarely self-assured adults with their shit together.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 10:11 AM
1

Oh I agree on gender bias. They are often harsher on men. But they do also tell everybody to break up for pretty much everything...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/21 09:53 AM
1

To be fair, the same is often suggested to women. Reddit subs are just very quick to say break up full stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/21 09:45 AM
2

The answer is just ‘it depends’. I know my partner and I have discussed your third example in detail because I’m in academia so it’s a real possibility, and we’ve agreed where he’d be willing to move to and come to compromises on that. I wouldn’t leave him therefore because he’s willing to compromise and so am I. Other examples - I’m not sure what would happen should big relationship stressors happen such as the loss of a child. You can’t really predict how you’re going to react and grieve in th…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 02:04 PM
1

By this point, most of my female friends are in long term relationships, engaged or married. I can think of only two who aren’t, one of whom ended a long term relationship right before the first lockdown.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 09:26 PM
1

Exactly. You want to spend time with your partner, so having similar interests is so important. Someone sedentary would get frustrated with my partner or me, and vice versa. But it’s to do with shared interests and spending time together rather than any kind of unusual lifestyle preference or body preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/21 09:03 AM
2

Fair, I’ll give you that!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 06:39 PM
6

I would say it’s more common than you think. I’m not particularly health conscious, but my partner and I are keen cyclists (road, touring, downhill mountain biking and bikepacking), enjoy Munro-bagging, hike&camping and scuba diving. He also goes skiing (water and snow) and plays rugby whilst I do martial arts and triathlon. Ive never actually been overly put off by someone being a bit chubby (and am technically a bit overweight for my height myself, it just isn’t quite as noticeable because I’m…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 06:10 PM
2

Absolutely. I used to get into fights when drinking, and haven’t been in one at all since starting martial arts. But I’m more quietly confident now - before I’d start a fight if someone provoked me, now I’m more likely to stand up for myself than confront someone but something about how I carry myself makes people back off more now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 01:52 PM
1

Very true. Knowing self defence gives you confidence and that body language and ability to read a situation is incredibly helpful in getting you out of there without resorting to an actual fight. I’ll be honest in ten years of martial arts I’ve never once gotten into a fight outwith the dojo, and I wouldn’t want to either.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 12:48 PM
3

I mean obviously you want to avoid a fight in the first place. I personally feel that that comes under the umbrella of ‘the aim is to get away’ - if you can get away with no fighting necessary then that’s following the priority of getting away. But that’s maybe not so clear to others. But they specifically asked about the effect of a man’s weight advantage, anyway, which of course only comes into play in a fight.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 12:15 PM
9

As a woman who does martial arts, all you need in a real life scenario is the ability to get away. If you train to keep your head and deliver a blow that makes him let go/loosen his grip, at that point you run. A guy will eventually win based on sheer strength, but you’re not intending to get into a fight, you just want to get out of his grip and run.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 11:25 AM
2

There’s a married red pill sub tbf.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 03:14 PM
1

Ok cool, thanks, I see where I wasn’t clear now!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 02:28 PM
2

My partner and I both have the same feelings on trust, but even if we didn’t I’d end the relationship myself in both scenarios - either my loss of trust in him or of his in me. It’s almost irrelevant to me whether suspicions in either case are true (mine of him or his of me), because in both cases one partner no longer trusts the other. That bidirectional trust is just such an essential part of a relationship to me that either partner losing it is a death knell. So yes, I would end the relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 01:59 PM
2

I’m not sure what you’re taking from this so I’m not sure how to clarify, please point it out if this doesn’t cover it! Both examples are one of us suspecting the other may have cheated. Personally, I could never stay in a relationship where either I suspected my partner or they me - it just indicates the trust had gone, regardless of whether that person actually has or not. It’s something we’ve discussed before and my partner is aware of how I feel and agrees - for both of us, that trust is a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 08:50 AM
1

I think telling someone you want to stay in a relationship with when they’re already pregnant/have a child that you want a test is hugely problematic. It’s a shock to someone already hormonal, and shows poor communication skills as well as highlighting a lack of trust. Discussing it well in advance might highlight differences of opinion between you but that’s not a bad thing - it’s like another other big conversation. It’s totally different if you don’t intend to stay in the relationship though.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 07:31 PM
1

As a geneticist, 23 and Me (and other services like this) is actually super useful and we can apply and get access to huge amounts of anonymised data for research purposes, so I always recommend it! Paternity testing is a tough one. I’d never say no if a guy asked me, and if the pregnancy was accidental and prompting huge life changes then I would be slightly hurt but absolutely understand - but if my fiancé turned round to me once we got married and got planned pregnant and asked for a paternit…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 09:23 AM
3

Just to point out, it doesn’t mean that at all. If you’re looking at the very top or bottom proportion of a population, you could easily be looking at a section of an exponential/logarithmic/parabolic curve that appears to be linear because of the subset you’re looking at, but in fact isn’t. The animal size one is a classic example of this - across the entire land animal category, it’s far from a linear relationship, so looking only at the top 2% in size is not an appropriate population to gener…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 09:16 AM
11

It does depend how it’s done though. Someone (or either sex) turning round once wedding planning is underway and saying you want a prenup is very different to a discussion well before any question gets popped about why you would want one in the future. The latter approach means you aren’t blindsiding your partner with it, and you’re far more likely to get a reasonable response. Both my fiancé and I have premarital assets and both stand to get large inheritances - we’re planning a prenup, and wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 06:34 PM
2

Agreed. My friend group is 60:40 female:male but the guys and girls are exactly the same to me - and these are friendships if 15 years, through periods of being single and in LTRs, and where some of them are now married. None of us have ever dated each other, and I think that’s why it works - people’s SOs/spouses have joined our group over time but not dating within the group.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/21 09:16 AM
3

Passionate and affectionate for sure. I can talk enough for two quite happily. My partner is quite a shy guy (although he’s come out of his shell a bit since meeting me), but he’s super affectionate and thoughtful and honestly I’d take that any day over the other way round.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 12:44 PM
2

If you think most women will try and trap a guy that isn’t kind and respectful and a decent human into a relationship with an accidental baby then there’s really no point continuing this thread, it’s just so far from my experience of most people that we aren’t going to agree on any of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 11:24 AM
1

Hot guy, good LTR material? Exactly my point - he’s attractive, and being kind and respectful makes him a good LTR prospect. A guy who isn’t isn’t great partner material. I’ve definitely passed on attractive guys who didn’t seem like good, kind people - what’s the point starting a relationship off at a disadvantage? Men like sex Well duh. But your first claim was that they don’t look for relationships which isn’t true for a good subset of men, as they do. It was that way for my partner, and I’ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 12:01 AM
6

Neither do women though, let’s be honest - if you aren’t physically attracted you aren’t going to looking at all of those other qualities either, but that doesn’t mean they don’t become important filters later. Also, my partner was looking for an LTR at the time - we were both upfront about it on our first date. I took him more seriously probably because of that, and I very much value the fact we are both still very honest and upfront with each other even five years later. Just because you’re lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 12:59 PM
19

Absolutely agree. I didn’t initially find my partner attractive because of his kindness and thoughtfulness (he’s handsome, funny and we have great chemistry, and that’s what I noticed first), but it’s a big part of what I value about him long term. I genuinely think he’s the best person I know, and of course I love him for it. Would it have gotten me in the sack in the short term? No. But it’s important and has value in a LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 09:27 AM
3

Yup. I would say probably one in five on average will say something horrible to me/get in my personal space in a way that makes me scared, but doesn’t go further. I would say that five times I’ve needed rescuing from an escalating situation (and some where inanimate objects were damaged with an aim to intimidate) - twice at work (once in a pub and once at a ducking library of all places), twice when out drinking and once at a house party from someone I thought was a friend. Other than bruises le…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 05:46 PM
1

Tbf, I’m a woman with Asperger’s and dating someone else with Asperger’s would be too much fucking work. I want (and luckily have) someone who has different strengths and weaknesses to me so we can complement and support each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/21 10:42 AM
1

As a previous barmaid though we always just asked folk that were clearly settling in for a session if they wanted to start a tab. Less so now with contactless as it’s so quick, but when folk started looking out coins I always asked!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/21 12:06 AM
1

Fair to tipping (we don’t tip here, just occasionally buy one for the bar staff if it’s your local), but even a tab is just... can I open a tab?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/21 12:02 AM
1

Exactly. I remember picking a beer at random to start with, it’s not that hard. And cocktail bars tend to have menus for at least the house drinks usually so even that’s not a complete shoot in the dark.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/21 12:00 AM
1

Exactly, or a soft drink at a restaurant or whatever. It’s not rocket science. Not knowing what to drink, maybe, but surely people consume enough media to hazard a guess?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/21 11:51 PM
1

Also from the U.K. and was wondering what hole this person climbed out of.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/21 11:39 PM
9

I don’t agree a majority who say that do. Some? Sure. Most I think use it to make a point that they care about personality, but not necessarily more than looks, and certainly not enough to say they’d pick an unattractive nerd over an attractive non-nerd.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/21 05:51 PM
23

But being a nerd doesn’t necessarily correlate with physical good looks. I’ve met a fair few attractive nerdy dudes. In fact, I’m engaged to one. What they don’t mean is that they like all nerds, especially unattractive ones. And there are plenty of those.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/21 05:45 PM
3

He looks fine, except for an odd expression and bad photo. The clothes suit him tbh. He’s not a 10/10 but put this same dude in trackies and a hoody or a massive oversized T-shirt and he’s look far worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/21 02:47 PM
1

I’m a keen cyclist, martial artist and hiker, plus my partner and I like to do multi-day bike/hike and camping. At home, I like to read, cross-stitch/embroider and dip into video/board games casually. On top of that I’m also involved with with my students’ union, and like to go to horse shows/common riding in summer (I used to ride horses but these days my partner and I only go to the big ones just to socialise). Used to do more but my PhD takes up so much of my free time now.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/21 09:53 PM
1

Yup. Still disagrees with even the science it was based on ie Jung’s work on personality, and a lot of criticism of it in psychology.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/20 02:49 PM
1

Also ENTP apparently but think it’s bullshit. The descriptions are fairly broad so that, much like horoscopes, a majority see something in it that reflects themselves. Personality is such a debated thing in psychology anyway that reducing it to these dimensions seems very... stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/20 01:53 PM
1

Yeah I’m speaking very generally - but even in those species, there is an instinct to procreate, but social structures supersede that in individuals. Arguably, you could say the same about humans, except obvious there’s a rational element to our decisions that aren’t in eg wolves.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/20 11:05 AM
4

... which is exactly what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/20 02:28 PM
2

Not arguing that at all - we are rational human beings (mostly) and we are not slaves to our instincts at all. But that doesn’t mean those instincts don’t exist, just that we don’t need to follow them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/20 02:20 PM
31

The instinct is to have sex, let’s be honest. And then to look after your young. And humans are likely the only species that realise the two are linked. Sure, it’s pretty common to get turned on by the idea of getting pregnant/getting someone pregnant and that is most likely linked to those instincts, but the drive to have sex is the one behind procreation.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/20 09:03 AM
78

Yes and no. I agree there is no ‘should’, and that ‘biology’ doesn’t care what you do with your life. But there is definitely a strong instinctive drive to reproduce across pretty much all animal species, and behavioural studies have confirmed this. Humans aren’t slaves to their instincts in the way most animals are, so that drive to reproduce is absolutely not the be all and end all, much like the hindbrain-driven fear of snakes or spiders doesn’t mean that some people won’t love them and have …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/20 08:53 AM
1

Settling relative to previous partners isn’t something I’d personally do, and I don’t agree with it. People that do that have some amount of insecurity in my option. That may be the case, but I think the preferred range is a lot wider than you’d guess! It’s definitely penetration orgasm, but personally I just need to be really pre-heated to orgasm from penetration alone. My partner is great at the little dirty comments with his voice all low and raspy, the little touches etc and just getting me …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 12:38 AM
1

I didn’t say girth has to be above average. I said that to me, girth is more of a consideration than length. Read back where I said I don’t have a lot of room down there myself - above average anything is going to take some creativity to make work.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 12:26 AM
1

1 - I don’t think either party should ever be setting, just acknowledging that no person will ever match up to the checklist of perfection and that we’re all human. 2 - But this is the point - for some people those things really are more important. For example, I’m a sucker for a pair of baby blues and every single guy I’ve dated has had blue eyes. I wouldn’t consciously go ‘I’ll only date blue-eyed guys’, but that’s how the pattern has developed. I do absolutely select for active, sporty guys t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/20 11:15 AM
3

I agree, but I also don’t kid myself that I’m my partner of 5 years’ absolutely perfect woman. There will be things about me I’m sure in a perfect world he’d change (although he’d never ever say that obviously), but just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean it’s not really great. There are things I’d change in him too if we were talking absolute perfect man - but that doesn’t stop him being the best man I’ve ever met and still super attractive to me. You’ll select for your strong preferences fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/20 02:50 AM
2

I’m white, 5’9, and curvy but sporty (keen hiker, cyclist, martial artist etc so fairly fit). So I probably don’t quite fit the assumptions. I know a few of my friends who prefer large, but probably more who prefer ‘big enough’ and I’d say the area around average is that for a lot of them if the guy is decent in bed, honestly. But people prefer different things!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/20 02:27 AM
2

Yeah, probably, although to be completely honest size isn’t really the first thing that would come to mind when designing a perfect guy! Girth is harder to eyeball measure, so trickier to put a number to.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 04:45 PM
1

From maybe 10cm up to a max of 15cm? But I’ve never slept with anyone smaller than that so can’t make any real judgements on smaller. Personally I’d be more interested in girth than length thats for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 04:03 PM
6

I mean, hand up, I prefer small to average. I don’t have the space myself so my threshold of ‘too big’ is pretty low. It’s not fun when he has to be careful not to hit me in the cervix. But girth is another issue to length.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 01:28 PM
1

Personally I love them, but my taste is different to the stereotype video game lover who spends all day every day playing shooters with their friends online. I’ve never played Magic or DnD, but enjoy board games like Pandemic, Risk, Diplomacy, Poleconomy, Ticket to Ride, Articulate, Cluedo, Labyrinth and Masterpiece. My family were always into board games and board game nights with mates are always fun. When it comes to video games, I go through phases where I play a lot to complete a game and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/20 09:57 PM
6

Ong that’s how I started - Ghibli, then InuYasha, and then a slippery slope into various shoujo anime and manga series...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/20 09:45 PM
2

I think you’ve nailed it - you’ve described me pretty well! The idea that I didn’t really know my partner of 5 years is a pretty horrible one, especially if it’s an incompatibility - and yeah I’ve always had pretty steady and secure relationships with the people in my life. I totally get that some people will be much more laid back about this kind of thing than I would be, but I personally definitely see the side of a visceral reaction to an out-there kink in a long-term partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/20 08:30 AM
1

Whereas I’d feel the opposite - having never brought up these kinks for years, suddenly you find yourself questioning your sexual relationship and the person you thought you knew. It’s a tough one.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/20 07:47 AM
1

As a woman who doesn’t care what other people are into/up to as long as it isn’t paedophila/necrophilia/rape/assault but would feel pretty grossed out if my long term partner told me he wanted us to do something far out that I absolutely wouldn’t be up for - is it really that crazy to think that imagining whether you would be physically into a particular kind of physical interaction could give you a physical reaction? Imagining something you think is hot might turn you on a bit - equally somethi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/20 11:06 PM
5

I agree that autistic men have it a lot worse than women, but absolutely not that Autistic women face 0 difficulty. Everything will be tolerated. She's perfect as she is. Her "quirks" will be loved and adored. I’m an autistic woman. It’s pretty fucking hard. The need for routines, anxiety, the difficulty in understanding and relating to people make life exhausting. And it’s not just tolerated in my experience, particularly by other women. Do men have it worse? God yes. But that doesn’t make it a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/20 12:03 AM
6

Am in academia and it’s why I made it clear to partner I won’t change my name - name recognition is so important and as flights and visas etc being arranged for work by outside institutions rely on your contact information also being your legal name, something has to give. He’s not keen to change either, even to a hyphenation, so we’ve agreed to each keep our own names and hyphenate the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/20 11:46 PM
6

But in a society where women don’t work or work limited hours with limited pay, any man is socio-economically superior. If you mean she chooses to match higher than her father’s socioeconomic status, that simply isn’t true either - many cultures still have arranged marriages as the status quo, and that’s as much the decision of the parents if not more so.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 06:30 PM
10

Absolutely this, and it’s why I find the evopsych rationalising many terpers do so frustrating - there are clearly world societies with radically different treatment of men versus women, and applying a theory to a subset of humans isn’t about evolution but socio-culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 03:20 PM
2

Completely agree. My partner and I are opposites attract - and both of us massively value in each other the things we are weak at ourselves. I love and respect him so much for being so thoughtful, kind and considerate of others where I can be a bit thoughtless and bull-in-a-china-shop, and how good he is at making and fixing things, whilst he loves how outgoing I am and how easily I make friends, and how I always drag him along to travel and try new things he wouldn’t do himself. That idea of fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 07:57 AM
1

I’m a woman, and I’d always split. In fact, I really don’t like it when I insist on splitting and a guy overrules me on that. My current partner did it the first time we went out for dinner, and if we hadn’t previously had a date where we’d alternated paying for rounds of drinks then I might not have given him the chance of a third - it made me quite cross. He then let me pay for our next dinner and it was fine, but it was something he had to overcome! So I’m on the team of splitting if she offe…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 04:52 PM
1

I didn’t outright lie at any point, but other than my very closest friends and direct family nobody really knew about my partner for ages because I just don’t feel the need to tell people. I really liked him but didn’t want to jinx it, and one of my mates had a nasty breakup around when I might have introduced him so left it and then sort of forgot. We never met each other’s friends for more than six months, or our extended families for longer than a year (and quite a lot of my family and friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/20 07:16 PM
1

I would tell him I wasn’t hungry/thirsty. He would probably say something like ‘so?’ and laugh, and I’d tell him to take a hike. But this is a regular joke with us. If I was getting up anyway or going to make something anyway then that’s a different matter. Equally if he was in the middle of doing something and I was just chilling, or he was really knackered after a long day and I wasn’t. We both like to do nice stuff for each other at the end of the day. But both of us chilling? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 09:49 PM
0

I mean I have. Twice. It’s just a bit gross to me personally, and a guy that’s been with substantially more people than I have isn’t going to be compatible with me for a relationship. Settled down with a guy whose n count was only one more than mine in the end so it worked out pretty well.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/20 11:16 PM
0

Hardly. Your point is it's part of the 'romantic' industries list - my point is that this is clearly not the case if the industry is supported by people who are enthusiasts rather than attending in a romantic setting. That's not a non sequitur.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/20 01:06 PM
2

How is it a romantic thing if friend groups (including heterosexual men not with their partner) regularly go to enjoy? My partner happily goes to classical concerts on his own! (Although I do the same for some opera, because he isn’t into some I’d the stuff I like).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/20 12:51 PM
2

I’m female. Friend group is a fairly even mixture of men and women, all 28-30, and a mix of sexualities. When I go with my (male) partner we quite often go in a group of 4 heterosexual couples. We all live in London, and either have middle class backgrounds or careers related to music and arts. When I went to the ballet in my home Scottish city, it was full of old people - here it’s definitely not the case, albeit the expensive seats are. My partner loves the live classical music, and that’s wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/20 12:41 PM
1

It very much depends on your circle and their tastes. I regularly go to the opera, ballet, West End plays and to classical concerts on my own, with friends, my partner and in a group of couples. In fact, my friend group does outings like that more than the cinema - and there are a lot of people in their late 20’s and 30’s there when we go. I wouldn’t classify it as romantic though, I just happen to have a lot of friends into music and theatre.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/20 08:38 AM
11

Personally I think it’s a bit gross, and definitely signals someone with different attitudes to relationships than mine. Yes, I have felt negatively judged for this, but frankly IDGAF. I’d rather feel judged than date them. It’s also why I 100% understand and accept guys having lines they draw about women they date. The only thing is to consider why you have the standards you do, and if they’re realistic then there’s no reason for anyone’s judgement of your tastes to matter to you in the slighte…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 09:08 PM
2

Just to be devil’s advocate, I teach about horse pregnancy to students, and I’ve never been a horse. There are plenty of excellent male gynaecologists, and female urologists. I’ve also met great male midwives and female midwives who’ve never given birth. Sure, a young girl may gain more insight on actually living day to day with her period from a woman who has done it, but personal experience is not the only thing that makes someone qualified to teach something.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 01:07 PM
1

This. An abortion means there is no child - a paper abortion means the child is not your problem. Two very different things, only one of which takes rights away from a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 08:07 AM
6

Mine too - each floor has a unisex toilet block and a single sex one, with the single sex ones alternating by floor. You could easily take a phot like this one one floor and the opposite one up or down.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 07:37 PM
3

Or t_d
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 11:37 AM
3

Nope. The whole reason my boyfriend and I are planning to get married is for the legal benefits - a party is just a nice chance to bring all of our large families together, it’s not the main point.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/20 08:38 AM
7

Or that it doesn’t apply as universally and generally as it is made out to, and following its advice self selects for women it applies to. Anyone claiming these things don’t apply to a decent subset of men and women is in major denial - but so is anyone claiming every bitch is gonna cheat on you Cos hypergamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/20 08:51 AM
7

This is the best way I’ve seen it put. You can have preferences, but those vary from person to person and you shouldn’t shame someone for not fitting your preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/20 03:19 PM
-1

Would this hypothetical mean no longer having my partner? If I still had him, frankly I’d take being invisible. If I was single again, it would be a much tougher choice, but I’d probably have to suck up the constant staring just for the chance of finding a life partner. Being an incel is no joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/20 03:35 PM
0

I think yes and no. Honestly, getting on with your non-romantic life is a lot easier when guys aren’t always staring and you don’t feel so uncomfortable, but equally your love life would suffer and when you do dress to impress it would suck not to get the intended reaction. I suppose I’d appreciate being looked at with sexual interest only when it’s appropriate... but that’s less of a headline.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/20 03:11 PM
2

This, plus here in the U.K. you don’t pay inheritance tax on inheritance from a spouse, which for some people is the difference between keeping your home after your partner dies and not - and gifting rules don’t apply at all. You can share a percentage of your tax-free allowance (marriage allowance), and you can share your capital gains allowance/no CGT between you/select the partner with the lowest CGT to pay the excess over the threshold. That’s a few good financial reasons to be married from …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/20 01:08 PM
2

Upper middle class and relationship market value.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/20 11:29 AM
16

This. I don’t wear makeup day to day, but when I’m going out I love to wear really dark red lipstick. My boyfriend doesn’t like it at all, and whilst I will sometimes wear paler to keep him happy, most of the time he just has to get over it, because I like the look myself and find is aesthetically pleasing, so I’m going to keep doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/20 07:47 PM
1

It depends, frankly. Do we otherwise have a good relationship? Can you still be a good partner? I don’t mind supporting my partner when they’re struggling, as long as it’s not a completely one way street. I’ve supported my partner through situational depression, and he’s supported me through physical disability, so it’s a sharing of the load for sure and averages out over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/20 07:08 PM
3

It’s funny, but the male physical feature that gets the most enthusiastic conversations going amongst women in my experience is forearms.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 12:56 AM
1

And as I didn’t claim I was either, I think we’re done here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/20 08:11 AM
2

you're not rich. you're just LARPing like a cheesy stereotype of a rich person Considering my post was about class (and not even about the material trimmings of class, but about bloody social interactions), hitting out with insults about my economic status most definitely implies you think the two are interchangeable - and at the very least, you’re bringing money into a conversation that was never about money. Which is incredibly gauche by itself. If you want to talk about class, there are some …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/20 02:31 AM
3

It is part of the middle classes, absolutely. The upper classes are a whole different kettle of fish. It’s why I said, as you quote, that it’s the subtle difference in my experience - my grandmother would have a lot more to say on the subject, but the social experiences you have growing up are the biggest one I think. But, frankly, if you really don’t know the difference between the middle and upper middle (which is probably gatekept with far more judgement than the upper class for that very rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/20 11:22 PM
3

Witty can be overestimating some people, but by god they will think they are witty because I will laugh in all the right places. It’s actually all very good training for first dates, too. I’ve never been nervous about making conversation with a stranger because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/20 08:41 AM
4

And also because you’re made to go to parties with your parents and their acquaintance, and going to formal dinners or dinner-dances and having to chat to people you don’t know well.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/20 08:40 AM
12

Just to add to this, I grew up UMC and absolutely everyone learns how to properly engage in polite but broadly entertaining small talk, both at the dinner table and in mixed gatherings where you won’t know everyone. It’s the subtle difference between people born middle class and UMC IME.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/20 08:07 PM
3

It also depends on what part of STEM - bio for instance, not going to have the same demographic as maths or comp sci. Equally, I’ve inadvertently only ever dated engineers - I’ve found engineers generally pretty laid back, practical and a decent number attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/20 08:42 AM
3

I mean, I know a lot of not-fat geeky British women too (can’t comment on Americans).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 10:29 PM
12

This to be honest. I'm a woman and would never date myself - my partner is almost the complete opposite of me, and that's why we work so well. Phrasing the question more like 'if you were in the opposite gender's shoes, would you think you as you are now was dateable?'... well I'd still say no because I'm British and saying good things about ourselves is a cultural taboo.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 05:40 PM
1

Yeah. I mean, if all you want is casual sex then it doesn’t matter - use the techniques/follow the guidance, it’ll work on a percentage of women. But so many of these guys then carry on bitching about these girls doing the very stuff they are selecting for with RP when trying for a relationship. Either use RP for casual sex and then don’t gaf about the personality of the woman, or select for better women by not treating her like she’s about to branch swing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:05 PM
9

I think anyone who denies these things exist is naive, however people that think that are universal are also clearly ignorant. Red Pill selects for the type of woman their advice works on (they themselves say to next when it doesn’t) - which is the kind of woman who engages in the stupid manipulative shit - and then they think it’s a universal trait/concept. When it clearly isn’t, if you’ve been brought up surrounded by functional adult role model relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 10:57 AM
1

I’ve had someone explain this anti-logic to me in the past. It’s hilarious. Yeah it's really daft. But hey, just cos it's the reason, doesn't mean it needs to be a good one. People be stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/20 03:29 PM
7

In my experience yes, but I have some much more promiscuous friends who will still have oral sex but not PIV semi-regularly in a hookup. This is post 25. IMO, this tends to be in either of two situations: within the same friend group, where the girl obviously fancies the guy but is hesitant to have full blown sex from the idea that it will ruin the friendship (I think this is bonkers but it’s been said to me more than once), or else when using dating apps explicitly to hook up. There is a bit of…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/20 02:06 PM
2

Good job and hobbies mean nothing for casual sex - just the hints at having status, like quality clothing etc, is more than enough, and being able to talk about stuff. It’s all about being attractive and how you make a woman feel. I think a lot of the RP game stuff is bullshit and overthought, but they’re right that not appearing thirsty and considering how a woman’s mind works to build attraction is important. The other thing is knowing it’s a numbers game, but never letting the girl realise th…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/19 11:33 AM
2

Absolutely this. I’m the same. If I like a guy enough to date him, then the boundaries are the same regardless of how ‘alpha’ he is (if anything, I’m quite stubborn and a bit contrary, so alphas are really not my thing). A guy trying to manipulate past my boundaries is a hard no, no matter how he does it. No guy is so hot I’d lose my self respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/19 10:41 AM
2

I was trying really hard not to say Twilight but it’s so true.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/19 09:57 PM
3

And in addition to a reverse harem, a less niche but milder trope is the love triangle. Women love a love triangle where both guys are equally hot and awesome and want her. Pretty much every YA novel and plenty of adult ones run with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/19 05:50 PM
1

I’m from the U.K., and my mates and I used to happily message first on Tinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/19 11:38 AM
5

Exactly. Nutella over peanut butter.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/19 09:07 PM
6

Well, I think so - but it’s usually met by being challenged over scrum or breakdown laws by guys who watch a half dozen international games a year at most. It’s frustrating.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/19 03:27 PM
7

I’m a big rugby fan and doing my referee qualifications and I get the same from guys who have never even watched a non-international game.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/19 03:04 PM
1

Sinn Fein existed before the IRA, but it’s shared leadership for a long time - Alec McGuinness, . The U.K. and US government have declared it, and republican documents themselves confirmed that Sinn Fein was the propaganda arm of the IRA, regardless of that it had been around before the organisation of anti-British militant groups. And the IRA doesn’t share members with the DUP - you’re clearly showing your ignorance here. They’re on opposing sides. The DUP contains members of unionist paramilit…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/19 06:38 PM
1

The IRA wasn't a political party. It has always had a political wing, which still exists to this day in the form of Sinn Féin, which contains previous IRA activists. Sinn Féin is currently led by a woman, Mary Lou Macdonald. The same is true of its paramilitary opponents who shot and tortured civilians in NI, who now make up senior ranks of the DUP. The DUP is also led by a woman, Arlene Foster.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/19 05:31 PM
1

What nonsense are you speaking now? Democratic socialism. As I’ve said several times now. They are democratic socialist, which is implemented as a gradualist reformist approach. If you don’t understand what the terms I’ve used mean, maybe go and read a bit about it before spouting off that there is only a binary between full capitalism and full socialism in policy direction. The UK nationalistic parties are a joke Considering there has been full on civil war driven by these parties during the la…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/19 03:43 PM
1

Come on, even a rudimental Wikipedia will illustrate for you that democratic socialists can be gradualist reformist. A note - the U.K. Labour Party, the second largest party and current opposition, are gradualist reformist democratic socialist as well. See their current campaign manifesto for some lovely examples of their planned renationalisation of a number of key industries. However all this gets away from the fact that women can clearly be nationalists, which under the actual definition of n…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/19 01:30 AM
1

Iceland and Finland also use the Nordic model in addition to the three you mentioned. And it’s democratic socialism, but still a form of socialism. Scotland is pro this model, but also is running trials for UBI, the combination of the two being pretty far from neoliberalism...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/19 10:28 PM
1

The Scandinavian countries do pretty well.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/19 09:18 PM
1

You clearly know nothing about Scotland. It’s incredibly pro socialism. The SNP are not a socialist party, because as I’ve already said, they are a broad church only united on independence. Scotland has been surveyed countless times, and would like to be a socialist country if they had national sovereignty.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/19 07:48 PM
1

*socialist values. Scotland is hugely socialist and generally criticises neoliberal policy - it’s the U.K. that is heavily neoliberal. If Scotland were independent, it would shift towards a more Scandinavian manifesto pretty quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/19 06:58 PM
1

Dude, they recognise borders. They are pro immigration, but that’s because Scotland really struggles to fill jobs. It’s not the same as completely open or nonexistent borders.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/19 06:47 PM
2

So you’re referring to the SNP then. I take it you know that the SNP are a broad church, only united in wanting independence? The SNP business minister for example is a laissez-faire economist, for instance. And in fact, many of the most prominent SNP members are ardently in opposition to the EU, and there was a lot in the press regarding the debates in the party over the EU around the time of the referendum. It’s a commonly held belief amongst the ranks that there is no point leaving one Union …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/19 06:41 PM
3

... which one in particular? Because some of these are left wing and others right wing, so you can’t conflate them all. And nationalism and neoliberalism aren’t mutually exclusive anyway. Ireland has even had a very effective nationalist socialist paradigm previously.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/19 06:30 PM
3

Well, that’s clearly not true. In the U.K., the British and Irish nationalist movements in northern Ireland are currently led by women, as is the Scottish nationalist movement. Supporters of Scottish nationalism are more likely to be female and under 35 than those in opposition. The pro-European movement in the U.K. has been championed by a number of high profile women too. So basically to anyone from the U.K. your statement reads as absolute bollocks.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/19 06:24 PM
1

My SO and I call each other ‘dick’ or ‘cunt’ and tell each other to ‘fuck off’ without any problems - but it’s about how you do it. I’d never call him that during an argument, but when we’re just bantering it’s fair game. We roast each other in front of our mates as well. However we’re both Scottish and that kind of humour is cultural - even female groups act like that, although generally to a lesser extent and without the physical roughhousing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/19 09:13 AM
3

Their sampling is pretty poor though for generalisation. 160 may or may not be a small sample size depending on their power calculations, but they state themselves that the ‘rafters’ were student volunteers. Seeking volunteers for a social science study like this can be really problematic - there is a known selection bias depending on the method of signing up. This is a well discussed phenomenon. In this particular instance, whilst demographic data has been collected, absolutely no discussion of…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/19 09:34 PM
1

And yet a lot of narcissistic, mildly psychopathic white collar criminals are full on alpha, and you’d still say they were complete dickheads. There is a difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 05:53 PM
1

The important aspect that you're deigning to leave out is that none of that is apparent until after the fact. The only way there are no hints until after the fact is if the guy is really good at it. Most people are not master manipulators - and as long as you aren’t walking into situations with rose-tinted spectacles, then yes, it is possible to pick up on it much sooner. I know it’s possible because I’ve done it. I’ve noped out of a few guys that I later saw pull some manipulative shit on other…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/19 05:41 PM
0

Of course you can. There are tells, and particularly over time, unless they are absolutely superb at it. Even guys like Ted Bundy - he was clocked as being off in some way by his girlfriend. And a lot cones down to motives. In the context of RP, typical RP guy is trying to get sex, typically without committing. And telling when a guy is hanging back on commitment is fairly straightforward - look at what they do not what they say. And don’t do what girls do often do, which is just sleep with guys…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/19 02:52 PM
0

5 years later? Through some pretty major life events for both of us? If he’s independently fooling me then fucking hats off to him frankly. But it is incredibly, incredibly unlikely. When people are trying to manipulate you, there are certain tells. I’ve experienced it before - no one is a perfect manipulator, and if you pay attention then little inconsistencies or awkward moments arise, and you can tell something is just off. It’s easy to mistake just for the fluttering stomach feeling of a new…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/19 11:43 AM
0

... except, as I just said, there was no game playing or manipulation from the word go. He never made me feel in any way uncertain or insecure because he was busy asking me out again before the end of our first date, and asked me to be his girlfriend super early on, and I ended up making the move to get him into bed first because he was being so polite about it. He’s super shy, but it was so endearing seeing him sort of take a deep breath and come out with whatever he was thinking next, and it m…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 11:08 PM
2

And equally we could all be living in the matrix. There comes a point at which it’s all philosophical. There is a clear difference between the question of whether personality really exists and whether someone is purposefully deceptive about themselves to someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 10:55 PM
2

I don’t agree. There can be different varieties of ‘you’ - acting differently with your friends to your parents to your partner To your work colleagues - but that doesn’t mean it isn’t authentic. I’m damn sure who I am, and that doesn’t get dressed up for my partner. I’m very convinced that my partner is the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 06:29 PM
2

Of course it’s not. Nothing about dating is impervious to emotion. But as someone who has always been cynical and suspicious of other people’s intentions when dating, it seemed more likely he was being genuine than it was a carefully considered plot. And 5 years of maintaining the same persona has me very convinced by this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 06:25 PM
4

No, at the time I thought it because he was upfront despite the fact he’s painfully shy. It was incredibly refreshing and very different to anyone else I had dated. And I know now he was always genuine because I’ve been with him five years and living together for four, and both of us have been through shit in that time, and anyone who could maintain a false persona all the way through that is lying to themselves at that point. I never would have gone on a date with him if I didn’t fancy him, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 05:28 PM
2

But then that’s also a TBP thing, that relationships should be equal. It’s just that on neither side does it actually always happen like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 05:16 PM
8

Everybody is putting on a mask. Not everybody. A big part of what attracted me to my partner and what made the relationship feel so right from the start was the lack of all of that. We were completely up front with each other, and he is certainly exactly the same now years later as he came across on that first date. But then neither of us were very good at ‘dating’, so maybe that’s why.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 02:30 PM
1

But we react to murder threats. And there is precedent for reacting to rape threat too. By insisting on pursuing sex when he doesn’t understand consent, isn’t this essentially a rape threat?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/19 10:05 AM
2

Sorry, I’m to used to being told I need a ‘/s’ on reddit when I make jokes - it’s becoming automatic to explain! Yes, I personally believe in human rights, and ours are codified in the HRA. They’re fairly basic to be honest, although the U.K. government hates that prisoners still have a right to vote and tries to deny spousal visas pretty hard. Our class system is just so entrenched, that’s all. Despite technical equality we’ve never gotten past the class system. And yeah... China is another sto…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 09:53 AM
1

It was a joke - technically liberty is in our human rights act, we just still haven’t mentally gotten past serfdom yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 07:43 AM
1

something like a constitutional right in Britain We don’t have a written constitution at all - and it isn’t included in the Human Rights Act, so no, we don’t. We do have rights to: Respect for privacy and family life and the right to marry: protects against unnecessary surveillance or intrusion into your life. You have the right to marry and enjoy family relationships. No discrimination: everyone’s rights are equal. You should not be treated unfairly – because, for example, of your gender, race,…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 07:39 AM
1

It’s more news because of the way the case was argued and the language used by the court than anything else. The Guardian is a centre-left newspaper (and our centre is much more left than the US) so it will be biased - but it was the first paper I saw with this case discussed so my bad on that part.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 07:31 AM
1

And I said "flirting" because Id imagine youd have similar feelings whether it was this autistic guy, or just some random harmless ugly guy that youre just not interested in I don’t have a problem with anyone flirting with me personally, to be honest. It’s a compliment. I only dislike if someone won’t take no for an answer - which is much more likely from someone mentally impaired who doesn’t have empathy or understand consent properly. I’m not sure how I feel about this specific case. One part …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 07:29 AM
1

He 100% is, and actually is technically protected by our rape laws the way an underage child is, which further complicates this.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 07:24 AM
1

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. This is very American. We are not into liberty or happiness in the U.K.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 07:22 AM
1

I’m not sure what I think to be honest - I’m going back and forth on a lot of things on this thread. To make a crude comparison, I guess it’s whether Aien or Predator is more scary - the one that will kill you from instinct or for fun. You’re not going to reason with either and you’ll die either way, but is it scarier and more traumatic? Personally I’m not sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 07:19 AM
1

people who are so impaired they are equivalent to a child in brain capabilities It isn’t made totally clear how mentally impaired this guy is, but it’s implied he’s heavily so, so he would seem to fit this.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 07:16 AM
1

Who said anything about flirting or not flirting? It’s about high risk of committing crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 07:15 AM
1

No they aren’t, but they specifically discuss vulnerable women in the court case, and our PVG laws (protection of vulnerable groups) cover both children and vulnerable adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/19 07:14 AM
3

Well, obviously a fundamental right to sex doesn’t apply to rape, so I assume you lose that the minute you break the law, much like incarcerated prisoners do.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:41 PM
1

That might reduce his punishment or get him sectioned rather than jailed, but doesn’t stop it being rape. Being drunk doesn’t make the things you do whilst drunk less illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:38 PM
1

We do have a Human Rights Act though, so it’s not like it’s never been laid out.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:37 PM
1

It’s surely more of a consideration of whether he is a public safety risk if he is actively pursuing sex with no understanding of consent? However I’m also not convinced they should legally stop him if he isn’t being institutionalised.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:35 PM
2

Also, there is a difference between ignorance of consent due to cognitive impairment and disregard for consent due to sociopathy. True - but is it different for the victim?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:31 PM
1

Should they be "allowed" to get married? I’m fairly sure (but not certain) that if you are cognitively impaired and considered not to have legal capacity, then you can’t get married here or sign any kind of contract.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:30 PM
1

Those are very good questions. I’m pretty sure our rape laws specifically protect mentally disabled people, but a bit like two willing 15 year olds it’s not likely to be prosecuted unless one party makes a ruckus.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:28 PM
2

Don’t worry, we feel the same about the US. At least our child maintenance laws don’t put men in jail for being too poor to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:27 PM
1

I think that’s the point - the people around him clearly saw him as a risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:25 PM
1

As long as the other party is of age and is also willing? This is the key bit - technically if he is incapable of understanding consent, he can’t consent either and might come foul of laws designed to protect mentally impaired people. This is designed to protect vulnerable adults in a similar way to children.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:24 PM
2

Exactly. For so many of the professionals involved to be supporting this move makes me wonder too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:22 PM
2

I guess depends how impaired he is - I’ve worked with autistic teenagers who, when overexcited or upset especially, have no understanding of asking permission to touch or refrain from hitting/hurting people, because they have no ability to understand how those actions affect others (no empathy).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:21 PM
1

Yeah - this is what surprised me more. This argument that pursuing a sexual relationship is a fundamental right, rather than that he should not be legally restricted but isn’t advised to kind of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:20 PM
4

I mean, a 17 year old guy is legally a child here, but arguably can defend himself better than many women. But I’m playing devils advocate with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:19 PM
3

I assume he gets accused of rape, and the prosecution has some great material already.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:18 PM
1

Oh yeah I totally get it. But it doesn’t surprise me that women might be immediately put off trying again after the reactions I’ve experienced! Obviously you will get a certain % rejections, but it was more than that for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:17 PM
2

That you equate working with children to 'working' with women says a lot to me. In the U.K. it is grouped as Vulnerable Groups - the same applies to children, elderly, disabled etc. So it’s not beyond the realms of belief that some women will fall within that group.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 07:11 PM
2

To rule that someone has the right to pursue sex is not the same as they can not be convicted under law should they then rape someone, these are ultimately two separate issues and steps may be taken by the impeded party to assure consent. Oh totally, it’s not a license to rape. It’s more a declaration that a significant risk of rape (proven lack of understanding of consent) is not enough to prohibit someone’s right to attempt normal sexual relationships. I mean, you’re right - if he doesn’t unde…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 10:52 AM
4

I would agree. Even with the ruling as is, id think this was more sensible than pursuing women in the normal dating pool for this lad.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 10:47 AM
2

I mean... it's not illegal for an adult to pursue sex. No, that’s true. But also there is precedent for adults with cognitive impairment not to be legally treated as non-impaired adults because of lack of capacity - so it’s not beyond the realm of impossibility to think other things are legally different too. This would be a case by case decision, obviously, but it’s the wording of the court that I find particularly interesting I think - a fundamental right.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 10:46 AM
1

This is an interesting perspective. It muddies the waters for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 10:43 AM
5

Really think about this, is the court going to put him in jail for having sex because he doesn't understand consent? Well, there are precedents of restrictions on cognitively impaired people that are a violence risk, for instance, so I can see why this case would have been made. But hardly a jailing offence I’d think.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 10:42 AM
2

I don’t know. It’s why I’m interested in this sub’s thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 10:38 AM
16

I would agree that this would be a great alternative if he is only seeking sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 10:37 AM
33

Of course not. But it seems that the psychologists and other professionals working with him have estimated him to be very much a risk due to lack of understanding. I find it interesting that someone could be prevented from, say, working with or having responsibility for children due to cognitive impairment risking children, but not from trying to get laid risking criminal acts against women. I’m not sure my own thoughts about this, although generally I’d err on the liberal side than authoritaria…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 09:58 AM
7

Except I’m not sure they actually do when it happens. I’ve always been quite happy asking a guy out, and most of the time they get weird or flustered about it. It’s worth it for the guys that are chill and react well (generally confident and laidback ones) and acts as a good screening tool, but whilst men say they want women to approach my experience has certainly been that they aren’t in any way prepared for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 08:24 AM
1

Physical things first - I’m more of a face person that body person on the whole, and eyes and jawline take up a big part of that. I probably go for a pretty face first over built body. I am however a massive sucker for forearms. There’s just something about a guy in a shirt with the sleeves rolled up and forearms on show - I have no idea why. I also love a bit of collarbone through a shirt collar. Height isn’t such a big deal - I’ve been attracted to shorter guys for sure. But there is something…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 08:16 AM
2

Chads might be banging 5-6's sometimes, but realistically those 2-4's aren't banging anyone unless they get a roughly looksmatched guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 03:19 PM
3

Absolutely this. My best friend and I have complete opposite taste in guys - she likes them big (as in tall and slightly overweight) with lots of facial hair and a dominant personality, where I like skinny pretty boys with big blue eyes who are sweet and let me take the lead. We absolutely do not find the other’s type attractive at all, physically or personality-wise. There are guys who are objectively good looking, but these won’t necessarily be every woman’s taste by any means.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 11:53 AM
8

The amount of men who are really so ugly, that no woman finds them attractive is really really small This. I see ugly guys every day that are in relationships or married - in fact, was at my college reunion at the weekend and half of the ugly geek types that I was catching up with (who are lovely people that I was friends with, I only call them this to illustrate my point!) are married now. The big catch is that these guys are not with 10s - they are with looksmatches.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 11:10 AM
2

I’m 28 but my 24 year old sis is far more like me than the 18-21 year old students I work with.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/19 01:34 PM
1

For anyone wondering , the oldest GenZ kids are 24 now This is the most disturbing part of the entire post.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/19 01:30 PM
3

My experience has been the total opposite. The friend circle I made in high school didn’t last, and I made a great group of friends at uni that expanded and altered over the years I was there - my two best friends I only met in my second year. Equally, I’ve been lucky to make lasting groups of friends during my master’s and PhD too. I have friends coming to my wedding that I made at jobs or during grad school that have been friends for years now but didn’t meet til after graduation from undergra…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/19 09:30 AM
2

All of which could have been avoided if the woman had been properly educated against her sexist, anti-male prejudices. I mean, primarily if the police weren’t so trigger happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/19 08:57 PM
1

I very much believe in ‘one in a million’ - but that’s also about 7655 of them in the world, so not the same as ‘the one’. I am very fussy, and didn’t date right through university because of it. However, have ended up with a really awesome guy that does tick pretty much all of the ‘dream guy’ boxes, so possibly I subconsciously was looking for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/19 12:02 AM
3

I mean, there is plenty wrong here in the U.K. (our political system is essentially collapsing and we’re heading right into a recession off the back of major wage stagnation and austerity, it’s a mess) but hearing about some of the crazy stuff on the other side of the pond makes me feel grateful. I say this on my fifth week of paid holiday this year....
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/19 11:32 PM
2

U.K.. Here, the father doesn’t have to be paying child support for the mother to claim benefits etc, so there is less of a culture of ‘chasing’, and they are really keen on families settling it themselves. They try not to involve the CMIS if at all possible. There are also strict guidelines on child support expectations if it does go to the CMIS or to court, and what counts to deduct child support expectations (having other children, having another partner, being on benefits or in study or in pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/19 09:22 PM
8

*In America. I listen to your child support laws and honestly am appalled. Ours aren’t perfect, but they’re a hell of a lot better.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/19 01:15 PM
1

Like I said, certain situations and certain people. Enough that RP tactics will seem to work well for casual sex. Relationships is where it gets tricky. Dread game in a LTR with a confident woman who wants a good partner? It’s not gonna go well. And having to play games in a relationship to address power balance means your relationship isn’t that great.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/19 09:43 AM
3

It’s like the ‘just be yourself’ thing. BPers will say that meaning don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, but it gets taken to mean literally make no effort to be your best self.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/19 01:07 AM
2

I mean, for guys who are only looking for casual sex, it works, and fair play to them. But IME most guys will, at some point, want a relationship, and RP is not going to help you find a good long term partner. I have seen RP content admit it’s a numbers game and to just move on until it works, which is fine until what you’re looking for isn’t someone easily manipulated and who is the kind of person who will make a good partner...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/19 01:01 AM
6

if you can maintain it and they don't see through it This is my biggest problem with all of the the pill stuff tbh. Most of it is true and applicable in certain situations or of certain groups of women etc, however ends up being treated as a general rule because RP methods select for the type of women that can’t see through it or will put up with it. Then these RP guys only see women that fit their model because that’s what they’ve surrounded themselves with, and we end up with ridiculous AWALT …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/19 12:33 AM
3

Idk I thought the idea that women aren't as shallow as men and they care a lot more about great personality was pretty wide spread. So, like a lot of things blue pill/feminists say, this is kind of true it not as simply as it seems. Ask any woman, ever, and they will always be able to think immediately of an example of a guy who was not good looking, but just had something about him that made him really attractive and fanciable. I’ve tested this out on a number of groups of women, and I’ve never…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/19 12:25 AM
3

Yup. We told each other fairly early on - and to me that was important as we were thinking long term, and I would hope we aligned in terms of attitudes to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/19 04:29 PM
1

Maybe. It’s true that if he’d treated me like he loved me and never let on otherwise, I wouldn’t have been any the wiser. Would the relationship have lasted if he didn’t love me too? I don’t know. Do men and women love differently? I don’t know about that, honestly. I’d agree that many women are happy to be on a relationship without love if they are getting something else from it, but I wouldn’t agree that women can’t love men unconditionally too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/19 11:47 AM
1

Not the person you replied to, but surely the idea is that your actual love isn’t conditional on your partner loving you, but maintaining a relationship with them is? I’ve been in a relationship before where I loved my partner, but he did not treat me like he loved me too, and after a while you have to accept that your feelings of love in a relationship will wither over time if it’s clear it’s not reciprocated. I adore my current partner, and wasn’t afraid to tell him that outright and first, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/19 08:09 AM
4

Exactly. N count is just an indicator for attitude to sex and relationships, which women (and I’d argue people generally) want to be aligned when looking for a long term partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/19 07:57 AM
8

Most women seeking a relationship won't want to be with a man whose entire relationship history is an endless string of casual sex. I’ll go a step further and say most women don't want a man whose n count is significantly higher or lower than her own. A high n count woman will be put off by a low n count man, but a low n count woman will be put off by a high one - and an average n count woman will probably find both ends of the spectrum off putting for different reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/19 06:37 PM
1

That’s so weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/19 05:33 AM
1

Yes, I’ll give you that. However my example that mentioned for early on was 7-10, so I’ve continued with that price range.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/19 05:32 AM
1

Sorry, but I just did a massive double take here. You guys in the US don’t have paid paternity leave? I know you have crazy short statutory leave/sick leave/maternity leave but I didn’t realise you don’t have paternity leave at all as a legally protected thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/19 02:21 AM
2

I think the right of the mother not to have to have any contact with her abuser (ie her physical safety) is more important, yes. And I’d say the same of a man if he faced physical harm. There is obviously the restraining order mechanism which can already take this into account, at least here in the U.K., and courts will take domestic abuse into account regarding custody and visitation rights. However I would see 100% see this protected.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/19 05:49 PM
1

Or if she has had IVF (accidents have been known to happen - and there was a high profile instance in the U.K. of a doctor who used his own sperm to father around a hundred kids), or if she and her partner are swingers always using contraception, or if the non-bio dad is made aware in any way of another sexual relationship but chooses not to have a paternity test (this does happen, however stupid it may seem to us). Equally, on the other end of the scale, of a woman escaping an abusive relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/19 02:38 PM
2

Do you agree that stopping paternity fraud from happening in the first place is the best way to protect both men and children? Very much so - my concerns are around handling it when it comes out, as it is incredibly difficult for both the biological and certified (for want of a better term) fathers and both their and the child’s needs need to be balanced. I think if it can be proven beyond reasonable doubt that the mother did this on purpose, yes it should be punishable - although whether indict…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/19 01:58 PM
8

Both to be honest. You lose your child, and it has been ‘your child’ since signing the birth certificate, and losing any and all rights to that child is going to be soul destroying. Should a man that has had no input emotionally or financially into that child all it’s life have more rights to spend time with them than you? It’s like saying the biological parent of an adopted child should always have more rights. I don’t think this is straightforward.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/19 01:46 PM
1

U.K. - there are a lot of things we handle badly but the child support (we call it child maintenance) is handled reasonably fairly. They take into account earnings, government benefits, number of children you’re paying for and number of children living with you as well as the amount of time the child stays in your care, and as not claiming child maintenance doesn’t affect ability to claim government benefits etc the government isn’t the one after you to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/19 01:31 PM
8

But if he has raised the kid for 7-10 years, should he lose all that he has put into raising that child? This is why I said it isn't straightforward.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/19 01:25 PM
10

This is a tough one, because there’s actually two sides to this. I very much agree guys who do not want to be responsible for the kid, if on a birth certificate but with a negative paternity test, should not have to be responsible - however what happens if you are on the birth certificate and want to be the father of the kid, should a positive paternity test for someone else be able to overrule paternal rights for a guy that has been there gathering the kid potentially for years? I say this beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/19 10:43 AM
7

I wouldn’t have a relationship with a player, for a number of reasons. Firstly, I find high n counts viscerally icky. Secondly, I would struggle to see how someone with a high n count from primarily casual sex would have the same attitude to relationships as I do, which is a red flag. Thirdly, I’ll happily admit I don’t think I would be secure enough to be comfortable in a relationship with a former player. I would constantly be wondering ‘why me’, and constantly a bit unsure if he would just de…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/19 12:55 PM
8

Actually there’s been loads of coverage here in the U.K. of jobs (typically reception or secretarial, but also flight attendants etc) where there is a strict company dress code of high heels, skirt and make up for women. Theres currently a fairly high profile attempt to make it illegal to force women to wear heels and makeup, but at the the moment it’s still acceptable and happens fairly frequently in City jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/19 07:33 AM
6

Completely agree, and this is why I’ve continually said that RP is a self-fulfilling prophecy that selects for the type of woman is warns against.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/19 09:57 AM
1

Seems like this could go in a weird eugenics-type direction - the people who aren’t good enough to breed take pills to reduce sex drive and turn them into little worker bees. Especially with the world population and climate problems pressuring us in that direction. So, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/19 02:16 PM
1

100% agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/19 08:25 AM
1

I agree completely. The reason I’m not into alpha guys is exactly because they don’t make women feel comfortable - a guy that puts women at ease is never going to have the power in that interaction and so it’s a beta not an alpha thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/19 10:08 PM
1

Unless he wants to be a SAHD. Then the woman leading on other areas is a necessity for him not to suffer the same fate you describe.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/19 07:41 PM
3

I think that by behaving the way TRP advises to women, there are a certain % that won't tolerate that kind of treatment - and TRP admits this, and proposes that it's worth playing the numbers game. That % that won't tolerate it is likely to be the women that aren't into bullshit mind games, and are therefore less likely to be trying to fuck you over. And so TRP selects for the kind of women it claims all women are.... which might not be a problem for the individual, but it's why I think applying…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 08:26 AM
4

I’m not sure it changed my opinions per se, but it definitely opened my eyes to some of the problems facing men. It also made me realise that TRP is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy which is a shame. I do find I can’t be too active on here, because my experience of men and romantic relationships is just so different to the generalisations here and I regularly get told this when I contribute, which becomes frustrating. And when my own relationships is happy and easy, I just don’t have the ment…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 06:45 AM
2

It also has live action... but basically.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 09:05 PM
1

You're right, we shouldn't - but then without any actual evidence that 30-somethings call rather than text and vice versa, we can't really draw any conclusions at all without anecdotes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/19 06:28 PM
2

i'm talking about preteen versions of us who preferred not to answer our parents' home phones beyond "hello" and handing it to our parents I never experienced this. I used to chat to my mates on the landline happily for hours at the same age I got my first mobile phone, 11, because texting wasn't very quick for an in depth conversation on an old school Nokia and I lived out in the sticks so needed a lift to go and hang out with friends. We used AOL messenger etc, but in the days when you got lim…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/19 03:08 PM
6

There is a middle ground though with this generational divide. I'm 28, and when I was a teenager we had AOL messenger, Bebo and myspace (so were definitely using social media but in it's earlier iterations), but equally I don't know any of my peers that are scared to answer a phone. If anything, we all tend to call if trying to get hold of one person specifically, and I will generally have at least one twenty minute personal call per day on average. The maturity thing I totally agree with, but I…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/19 09:50 AM
2

So I actually am a geneticist, and I remember a crazy experience on here once of a guy telling me how I was completely wrong about epigenetics... when this is literally what I do. There is just still sooooo much we don’t know about genetics. Complex inheritance (and where this meets epigenetics) is where I work, and you can only ever describe a predisposition/resilience to things - you’re only describing a % of variation with heritabilities. And we are learning new things all the time that chall…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/19 07:30 PM
2

I know what women want There you go doing exactly what I said: not listening. What you described isn’t my ideal, or my best friend’s ideal, and neither of us like the same thing, for example. And yet, neither of us pick our partners based on their dick - there’s too many other things that are more important, and being good in the sack and dick size don’t correlate anyway. And amongst my male friends, boob size preference is just as varied. Some like huge boobs, others like just a nice minimum, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/19 09:12 AM
2

What I had in mind are rather things that women commonly say don't matter, and that we all know is false. That’s even more stupid. There’s no point asking women if stuff like that matters and already being determined not to believe them if they say no. Shit like dick size is a preference, like men have for boob size. To some people it matters more than others, and preference on size varies. If you’ve been with someone x number of years and break up, the chances that it’s because of your dick siz…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/19 08:50 AM
1

We’ve been together 4 years, and I knew on the first date that there was real potential here - not only was he very attractive, but I felt super comfortable with him and we just clicked really well. Nothing in 4 years has changed that. Neither of us believe in ‘the one’, but we both believe our relationship is a great one and see this as a forever thing. He’s 27 and I’m 28, and we’ve been talking about our long term since about 3 or 4 months in. It sounds cliche but we really are best mates as w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 11:21 PM
2

It depends why. If he was under a lot of stress over, say, a big upcoming work project, or I was in full panic mode with thesis write up, or we’d just had a baby, or one of us was on meds or something that could either be addressed or just needed time to get over, then it would be frustrating and hurtful but hardly a dealbreaker. We both have decent libidos, mine slightly higher, but this definitely varies with how our equally but differently stressful jobs are treating us.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 11:12 PM
8

This was my thought too - your job is chilled, no worries about housing or affording food, and no dating worries either. Every millenial’s dream surely?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 08:49 PM
1

Maybe. Or maybe you’re all sociopaths.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 04:52 PM
4

But let’s be real here: right now, my relationship is great, and my biggest complaint is those bloody wet towels. However, if we were to break up, something would have to change for that to happen - and I might know about it as it’s happening or I might not (like I might realise we’re drifting apart or our opinions on, say children were changing, or else he might suddenly reveal he’d been cheating). If that were to happen, I doubt the wet towels would be the thing I was complaining about. So, re…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 04:51 PM
1

It’s hilarious until your bed is wet and disgusting when you want to go to sleep, or your towel is wet and disgusting and unable to dry you, or both.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 01:29 PM
2

Detailing the things you would improve is based on your feelings and preferences, so of course it isn’t objective. I’m sure some people don’t care about wet towels on the bed - my partner clearly doesn’t - so it isn’t objective to say that’s a flaw, it’s my opinion. And frankly, I think it would be more superficial to dump an otherwise lovely guy that I get on super well with because of an inability to hang up a towel than otherwise, so again your point seems a bit moot there too. It’s not the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 01:28 PM
13

I love him dearly, but he leaves wet towels on the bed. And thinks it’s funny when I point it out. He has started making the effort to drop them on the floor instead of the bed, which is about as much of an improvement as is likely to happen I think, so I’m resigned to a lifetime of picking up wet towels. However, just because it’s a debate sub doesn’t mean people want to talk shit about their partners. Discussing male-female dating dynamics doesn’t mean telling the world about your partner’s fl…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 09:01 AM
1

1) at my age (27) I would raise eyebrows at 50. 2) for me personally, 10-15. It just shows a completely different attitude to mine and it’s not for me. 5) more than 15 would be a hard no from me. It’s just viscerally yucky. But people vary and it would bother others less.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 07:59 AM
1

Not necessarily, although I’d admit I’ve never really considered that detail - it’s more the surprise element that is the focus tbh. Probably because I’m a planner in my day to day life and do most of the holiday organising etc, so the contrast is a nice little fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/19 05:13 PM
2

Yeah, I remember it kicking off not long after I finished uni - so I was still 20, which is bonkers now. It sounds very different as an app now than it was then, to be fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/19 10:18 PM
3

Haven’t used it now in four years, but did a lot before then and met my now long term partner on it. I went on a decent number of dates, but I wasn’t using it to hook up - never had casual sex from any of of Tinder dates. God. I dunno. Actual date-dates? More than 10, less than 20. Would have to have a good think. Just turned 28. Actively used Tinder from 20 or so to 24. Best was with my now long term partner. We just went for drinks, but it just felt really comfortable and easy from the start, …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/19 09:51 PM
3

And to add to this, criticising champagne socialism isn't the same as criticising socialism in its entirety...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 04:16 PM
1

I consider myself a socialist, but obviously was completely misguided in my understanding of political ideology: I thought it was a political/social theory regarding the means of production, distribution and exchange, not about people's sexual preferences (ie attraction). And the entire point is supporting rights of the workers... which according to you are primarily men. Left wing economic theory and liberal social policy are not the same thing - and plenty of hard left wing countries (see Chin…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 04:12 PM
4

I think if you get angry at men who lie to get sex, then you should be just as angry at women who lie to get a relationship. I literally just said that women who lie are just as bad. You seem to be trying to read a different narrative into my comments than what I am actually saying, here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 10:20 AM
4

Where did I say that they did? I said I can imagine feeling disappointed if you had believed they were going to commit, but that being clearer about what you want at the start was the thing that needed to change. Anyone that lies, whether it’s men or women and for whatever reason, to get what they want is untrustworthy and morally repugnant. But in most cases nobody asks the question, so women think one thing and men another about the same encounter.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 09:32 AM
3

Yes we generalise, but that comment wasn’t a generalisation - it was directly accusing me of lying. Perhaps she does feel that way - I can imagine you would feel used if a guy you thought was serious about you left after getting sex. But equally, I think a big part of it is lack of communication - far fewer guys are willing to outright lie and say they’re looking for a relationship and are interested in you for that reason to then dump you after sex than are happy to just say nothing and let her…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 08:21 AM
3

I’ve never had casual sex in my life, but keep on pretending women like me don’t exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 10:37 PM
3

I mean, don’t get me wrong - I went into that conversation biased and with a good idea of what he was looking for, just from knowing several people he’d be sexually linked to in our shared circles. I just wasn’t about to be a bitch when someone had the balls to directly ask me out, and if he had wanted to correct my assumptions he had an opportunity to do that. But regardless of whether he had or not, to be honest it’s a big turn off. I still keep up with him, and he’s still to all appearances a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 08:09 PM
10

Exactly this. I used to work with an otherwise lovely, good-looking guy who made it clear he was really interested in me. But he had such a fuckboi reputation that I was never gonna touch him with a ten foot barge pole. And when he stopped hinting and finally asked me out, I said to him that we were clearly looking for very different things. He got really upset about it and confronted one of my friends about spreading rumours, but frankly that kind of behaviour just made it worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 07:59 AM
14

It definitely means the same as ‘hitting on’ - ‘chatting to’ or ‘chatting with’ aren’t sexual, but ‘chatting up’ absolutely is.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 06:56 AM
1

To be fair, I’ve never had a guy buy me dinner on a first date ever - the very rare occasion I’ve done dinner as a first date we’ve 100% always split it. Drink dates are much easier for first dates and then it’s easy to buy a round, which I have done first on plenty of occasions. I really don’t like the concept of either person paying for the whole date early on in a relationship. It makes you feel indebted to them, and if I don’t like it I wouldn’t do it to someone else. However, the only guy w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/19 09:30 AM
2

It does make me wonder. I always thought MRAs were nuts until I came to this sub and started hearing how things are in the US... I know the U.K. is hardly a paragon but at least our child support etc is fairer. Bonkers some of the things the US does.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/19 04:22 PM
2

You know, I get re-surprised every day how nuts US law is.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/19 07:53 AM
0

I agree with you - my point is simply that the two don’t quite equate. There are cases where abortion is for the safety of the mother, or where the mother never consented to anything in the first place - and I doubt anyone would support forcing a man who was raped to pay child support for example either. I agree the pro-choice movement is generally about right to choose rather than just these medical exceptions, however the debate seems to always end up at that all or nothing argument and I thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/19 09:51 AM
1

Yeah - I actually know more than a few people of this opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/19 09:41 AM
2

One doesn’t necessarily follow the other. You can support abortion in cases where the mother’s life is at risk, or where the woman was raped, for example, and be against it being easily accessed as a method of contraception - and that position sits quite logically with support for child support payments. Not saying this is my position (it’s not) but the two things aren’t as comparable as people on here like to make out.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/19 01:03 AM
1

Basically this. And I mean we still have them, so it’s not even likeits just a historical thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/19 09:43 AM
1

Why is the US not?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/19 12:25 AM
3

Maybe in the US - boarding school and family yachts can definitely be even a middle class thing in the U.K., because money =/= class. My partner’s dad has a 40 ft sailing boat and a really nice speed boat, but he grew up working class and so even now he’d be middle class at most.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/19 05:58 PM
1

Actually, there is a lot of work going on at the moment designing alternate diagnostic tests for women and girls as it is well recognised that they present very differently and the studies are all there to show it. If you’re interested, this leaflet is getting a bit old now (2016) but has a nice overview of the differences and has a lot of good references in there. Equally, lack of self-awareness absolutely isn’t included in the diagnostic guidelines because it is heavily debated and varies depe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/19 09:40 AM
3

To be really anal, lack of self-awareness isn’t one of the features used for diagnosing autism (particularly in women). That can just be a clueless people thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/19 10:48 PM
1

Because depending on the method it can be wildly inaccurate, and samples taken by lay people tend to have a higher degree of failure anyway. Equally, legally accredited test results (which are also required in the U.K. for use in any sort of dispute) are both typically of a higher standard but also can be used as evidence in court, which is required for child support contestation here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/19 10:56 PM
4

For the baby, yes there will be blood - not for the father. So it would have to be opt-in for the father or else raise all of those problems. Equally, I’m pretty sure there aren’t any mandatory tests for newborn children in the U.K. - absolutely everything has to be consented to, although most routine stuff is never an issue. The blood spot test which tests for PKU and other genetic disease is absolutely not a requirement. I agree it’s an issue, but the answer isn’t going to be straightforward I…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/19 06:17 PM
6

It’s because, for good results using the kind of SNP marker panels they use for accurate paternity tests you are much better using blood, which is an invasive procedure. As a geneticist, cheek swabs aren’t ideal for anything more complex than straightforward genetic tests by PCR as they require good technique to collect enough cells (and it hurts!) plus there will be a large amount of bacterial and even food contaminant which makes analyses awkward. I’ve tried doing whole genome sequencing from …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/19 05:12 PM
1

Loads of guys are leaving Europe right now for the Middle East to join Daesh on promise of virgin brides... desperation is desperation.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/19 08:31 AM
1

I’m pretty boundary on the extroversion scale too!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/19 11:01 PM
1

ENTP actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/19 09:35 AM
5

As another autistic woman, this basically describes my life. I’m in an LTR, but my partner initially described me as exactly that - cool, laid back, drama-free. And now, he knows I can get uptight and stressy over very particular things, can be rude and unfeeling and cold if I’m overly stressed or just lacking energy and also ridiculously stubborn about certain things too. We have worked out, but I do need to constantly work at it, and he doesn’t hold back from pulling me up on stuff either. But…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/19 09:48 AM
1

We met on Tinder - this was 5 years or so ago now and in the U.K. at the time a lot of people were getting into relationships via it so I gave it a try. I had a lot of obvious hookup requests and bad innuendos but he sent a nice, friendly first message and then we had a good conversation and he came across really sweet but intelligent too. When we met in person he was super shy to start but also very straightforward and upfront (he asked me for a Second date before the first was even over and me…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/19 05:54 PM
1

As I said, does that include cohabitation? It seems a bit of a grey area making claims about relationship status these days when the married/single distinction isn’t as distinct...
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/19 11:57 AM
2

I don’t think anyone could seriously deny that, but it’s the reverse of AWALT - in general women aren’t interested in significantly older men, much as in general TRP makes generalised claims about female behaviour. If you’re going to use generalisations, be consistent, on both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/19 11:56 AM
3

Ditto. I feel like it’s two different conversations going on sometimes here - Americans and everyone else...
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/19 11:51 AM
13

I was reading an article about this paper, and one thing pointed out is that sex has always been more frequent in married than single status people according to the stats, and that with a falling marriage rate and much higher average marriage age this could be contributing to the results seen in this study. I’m not sure how valid that is as it doesn’t talk about cohabitation, but another interesting point to consider.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/19 04:10 PM
1

It really should be, I utterly agree!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/19 07:09 PM
1

Absolutely, but this is a separate issue regarding the regulation of courts and lawyers rather than the police. True - but it becoming police standard to ask for phones and keep that data before there is control of how the data is used already is the wrong way round IMO. Especially in cases like rape that have high potential to be utterly traumatising.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/19 03:01 PM
1

It's just an insane way for those companies to manage sensitive data honestly, they should be issuing corporate devices. I agree but, it’s complicated. Without going into too much detail, everything comes down to grants to individual lab groups, not from the university centrally. And it’s shared drives and email boxes etc rather than full IT access to our personal devices if that makes sense - but still plenty of privileged data on the devices. So you got some random who says they don't wanna ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/19 02:17 PM
1

Since 2017 did that draft bill to prevent such incidents make it into law yet? As far as I’m aware, no - parliament hasn’t exactly been efficient the last two years. Of course, but they are still separate bodies with separate motives. I totally agree. But aside from the police using other, non-case relevant evidence against you for other potential crimes (porn, drug use, etc), it’s less a problem of the police having the evidence and how it gets used against victims. The protections need to be i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/19 02:01 PM
1

A good reason not to use corporate issued devices for personal communications. Ha, I’m an academic - they don’t pay for a corporate device for any of us! We’re just expected to be able to work from home/whilst abroad at conferences etc and therefore have access enabled on our own devices. We have to go through strict GDPR training for this, but it’s all our own devices, so no way around it really. Btw the law that allows police to compel you to hand over your password is hardly ever (successfull…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/19 12:17 PM
1

The article is from first of May last year, the case is much older but it was an incredibly high profile example because it was a teenage girl who committed suicide. This arricle from 2017 details more cases, including a study that showed a third of rape victims have their sexual history used against them in court in the U.K, and one who was assured by police it would not be only to have it all used against her on the stand. Yes, the recent case was Irish, but this happens a lot in the U.K. too.…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/19 12:14 PM
1

I just don’t see this as something that will somehow completely broaden the abuse of that or diminish the protections we already have in place. I agree with this, my point is that it gives them more ammunition for the cases that are poorly handled/rules bent/etc. If they already do this with things like underwear, then it makes complete sense they will do this with nudes/sexts/Tinder messages/porn on your phone. If ruled around what could be used as evidence (both in that case and also what the …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 09:19 PM
1

Unfortunately the case I mentioned above hadn’t been the only time sexual history has been used against victims here - it’s a known problem, the above was just a very high profile instance because of the suicide. Another case was in the papers just the week before these changes were announced. It’s particularly hard in rape cases because of the feelings of shame and violation that victims feel anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I do think it’s important to strike a balance and prevent false accusations…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 07:46 PM
3

And you don’t think arguments could be made for each of the things I’ve mentioned to be included as evidence in a rape case? There was a case in Scotland (different legal system than south of the border I know, but same country) where the victim committed suicide after being forced to hold up her knickers as evidence of her character in court - if you don’t think the same will happen with Tinder messages etc then you’re kidding yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 07:30 PM
8

Thank about the character assassinations of both parties carried out in court. Then think about every private bit of data being on show for the defence to use to paint that awful picture of you - having just been violated physically, your privacy has to be violated too in order to convict your rapist. Every Tinder message, your porn history, all of your gps data, any drug use evidence, every confidential unrelated message you’ve ever had. It would be pretty traumatic to go through. But we also l…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 01:15 PM
5

I just made a separate top level comment, but I can’t release any of my media devices to the police as I am a researcher with access to large amounts of medical and other GDPR protected data. This would be the equivalent of handing thousands of people’s private data to the government without their consent, and is illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 01:06 PM
2

So I’m in the U.K. and this has caused a bit of a ruckus at my workplace because we all have access to prove lives privileged information including medical and other GDPR protected personal data due to our roles in medical research. Basically, we can face job loss and jail time for releasing that information, but equally you can face 5 years’ jail time in the U.K. for refusing to hand passwords etc over to police when they ask under terror laws and now can’t even make a rape case because we can’…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/19 12:58 PM
2

Nobody will love for who you are. They will love you for what you do for them. And if you're honest with yourself, you will realize you do the same. I disagree. It’s 100% possible to love someone for who they are - it’s the relationship that is transactional not the love. I (and most people) would agree that being in a relationship just because you love them isn’t always healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 08:42 AM
2

I don’t consider myself masculine but plenty of people on this sub have said I am, so I’ll give this a shot. My OH isn’t typical in that he’s sensitive, shy, nurturing, openly thoughtful, kind and a feelings-sharer - sort of the opposite of the typical masculine stoicism. I very much consider these as strengths that I tend to lack, and I have the confidence, go-getting attitude and leadership drive to balance him out too. However, in other ways he’s very masculine - he is into sports, DIY, rescu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/19 07:46 AM
8

I genuinely thought I had a group of really good guy mates, and was ‘one of the lads’, only to find out half of them fancied me, and when I said I just wanted to stay friends, suddenly lost half of my friend group. I was 17 when that happened, and whilst I have good guy friends now I have been so much more careful with friendships with heterosexual guys ever since. I make friends to be friends, and if they don’t want the same things then it’s not worth the pain of losing what I thought were good…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/19 01:31 PM
1

Ew ew ew no. It’s an instant gut reaction, even before I consider the morality question. I’m just not interested in sharing so it’s a complete turn off, even before you consider he could be a cheater - and on top of that I do think if the other woman isn’t aware it’s not a good thing to enable someone to betray their partner, and not attractive of him to betray his partner either.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 09:09 PM
2

I wish I could manage that, but honestly I hate it. I end up having to deal with spiders by myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 03:59 PM
2

I’m with a man who plays instruments on street corners. He does occasionally also play on a stage in front of a crowd, but lots of musicians do both so it’s not really a big deal. Keeps him busy and means I can watch bad reality TV without him playing in the background! However, he doesn’t rely on music for his work. Not sure I’d date anybody who did - it’s such an unreliable industry with so much travelling involved. I wouldn’t go out with a professional musician because of that, personally - I…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/19 03:05 PM
1

Lived in Scotland for most of my life and never been offered Valium... I’m obviously not doing the U.K. right.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/19 04:47 PM
2

Really? Two of my closest friends are from the Valleys and are both blonde as were most of the folk I met when there visiting! I mean, anecdotal but very different to your experience...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/19 08:06 AM
2

They count as a country for football and rugby purposes, so it’s at least debatable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/19 05:41 PM
4

you think that girl is is a 5? good god have the women all turned into wales? Wales is a pretty small country comparatively, and very pretty...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/19 04:38 PM
1

This is why I won’t wear white at my wedding! Can’t inagine trying to find nice flats in white...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/19 04:20 PM
2

Because you dress down a nice dress by wearing flats with it. Equally, there are far more pretty pairs of heels than there are flats - and the flats often have no arch support and leave your feet hurting too. I don’t actually wear heels myself because I have nerve damage to one side of my lower back and they leave me in agony, but I still love heels and really miss wearing them. Instead I live in trainers, flat boots or else oxfords when dressing up, but it’s not the same. I’m also 5’10 so I’m a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/19 03:56 PM
2

I was in my late teens when I realised that my male friends often had other intentions than I'd realised. If you were in a relationship at that age, it would hit you later. Seems to make sense to me. It is hurtful when someone that you thought was your friend was actually only interested in your romantically - it makes the great relationship you thought you had into something worthless that they make clear they aren't really interested in. And when you already feel shit (eg after a breakup) it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/19 06:31 PM
6

it used to be a lot more difficult to legally divorce, but it was never impossible, and it never kept couples together who were determined to part. Exactly this. Henry the Eighth broke his entire country from the Catholic church and started his own up, just so he could lose his wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/19 05:15 PM
2

Hey, you guys are free to do whatever you want with your tea, just don't expect us not to give you side eye for such a bloody waste.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/19 05:17 PM
1

I mean, you can become upper class if you marry in, but it’s not quite the same, and you can be enobled (as your examples have been) which people are every now and then. But a non-hereditary peerage is different to a hereditary one, and their own background counts too. There are knights and dames who are very much not upper class, and there are people with no title who are. It’s hard to explain, and I’d need to think hard about how to try to do it. I don’t know enough about the history of your e…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/19 08:29 AM
5

millenials are extremely conformist And Gen Z are even worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/19 12:36 AM
3

There are titles that aren’t noble or hereditary or either (the peerage is more complex than it seems), and often branches of a titled family that have no titles themselves are considered upper class even without anything, but yeah basically it’s another world and one you must be born to or marry into (and even then you aren’t really part of it), you can’t earn your way in. Upper middle is your wealthy but not upper class, can also include very well paid professionals etc. Middle is your comfort…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/19 11:38 PM
5

I find this one crazy but then I’m from the U.K. and class is a whole different thing from socioeconomic status over here... my dad was a top 1% earner growing up but we were solidly middle class, not even upper middle, because both of them came from the working class originally and so our wider family are all working class. You need a title to be upper class here, and upper middle are only a step behind!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/19 07:24 PM
6

Marriage isn’t negotiable to me, personally. It has to be on the horizon. However, I’m also not fixed on when, it’s about when is right for you both. My boyfriend and I have been together over 3 years, and I can easily see us going another 3 before we get married. I won’t buy a house or have a child with or any other major step without being married, but equally we are both prioritising our careers over those things right now, so it doesn’t really matter as now isn’t the time. I would feel diffe…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/19 10:06 PM
1

No, you’re getting this a bit mixed up. If all you are after is sex, and aren’t interested in a relationship, then looks is all you have to go on for judging someone - a bit on charm but looks are the main thing. It doesn’t guarantee you good sex, but if it’s all you have to base your attraction on then the better looking the better. When looking for a relationship, as long as he is a minimum level of attractive then personality has a chance to shine through. A lot of girls will pick a guy they …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/19 04:32 PM
2

Because that is heavily looks based, and the other considerations that I note as being more important once the looks threshold has been reached aren’t really at play.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/19 09:10 AM
10

Ok, when women say looks don’t matter, they don’t actually mean that looks have no bearing on attraction - that’s a blatant lie, of course they do. However, typically looks don’t matter as much - if you pass a certain looks threshold, then it doesn’t matter if a guy is a 6 or an 8 as there’s other things you’re prioritising. And obviously this only applies to relationships and not casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/19 09:58 PM
5

I suppose the culture is different here - you’re looked upon as odd if you marry early here, and there are much fewer strongly religious people here as well. Most people I know met their partners before 25, and are starting to get engaged and married now around 27-28, and whilst they will have met their partners young they aren’t commonly people they dated at uni.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/19 08:25 AM
1

I’ll agree with this - women definitely do like men other women are attracted to as well. But we can separate that from high N - a guy that has been in relationships is much more attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/19 08:23 AM
12

If you wait until after college to lock down an attractive, marriage-minded partner, you are going to have a bad time. I think this maybe varies by country. I’m in the U.K., and there aren’t many people I know who married the person they were dating before they graduated at 20/21. All of my girl friends from uni were settled with great guys by 25, quite a few of those married now, but not many at all (even the high quality girls) married their university boyfriend. I’d even argue that it’s harde…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/19 11:00 PM
2

Women don’t care lol In my experience, they do. However these are the low N women looking to settle down - the ones guys apparently want the most - and they know fine well a high N guy isn’t a good long term potential. There are plenty of women who will date high N guys, don’t get me wrong. It isn’t taboo the way high N women are. But women know these guys aren’t good long term potential. Countless times I’ve been chatting with friends about guys any of us have gone on dates with, and one of the…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/19 08:39 AM
5

they are often attractive and intoxicating to women I think a lot of the time the qualities that have let the guy be high N such as confidence and charm (and looks) are ultimately things women want, and so they will date these guys, but the high N count isn’t what’s attractive, it’s something that will often make the woman feel worried or insecure. Yes, women hope they will be the one to change him, but they aren’t attracted to the high N count, they date him in spite of it. And plenty of women …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/19 08:36 AM
11

It's just that it's rarer that women care. You’d be surprised. It’s just that in women, it often comes out as insecurity over the relationship rather than a deal-breaker - I know a lot of women who aren’t attracted to high N counts, but far more who have tried dating a high N guy and been burnt whether by her own insecurity or his actual indiscretion. I’d certainly have a similar reaction to finding out my partner was really high N that many men on here describe, and purposefully avoid it - I’ll…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/19 10:47 PM
3

But the truth of the matter is that some guys just have a visceral "ew" reaction to women who have high N counts Not just men - I know plenty of women (including myself) who are the same. The rest is all excuses really. I personally never considered spider it a moral judgement, I just wouldn’t want to be with a high N guy myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/19 08:34 AM
1

However, if no one else you know drinks wine either, it makes you question whether the sample of the study is representative, or whether it has unexplained bias in sample selection (eg the study only looked at married women in one particular city, or married women over 50, or married women with children). It doesn’t make the study wrong, but it can mean the conclusions drawn from the study are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/19 08:17 AM
3

I got 39% melanie leishman. Her face shape is pretty similar to be honest, although I have very dark brown, curly hair, dark eyes (a bit wider apart than hers but not by a lot) and very pale skin (Celtic colouring). My cheekbones are also a bit more prominent (that and the big eyes are what people always notice about my face). I think for me my smile is a huge part of what makes me pretty. When I’m smiling I am quite pretty and I get a lot of attention - but It’s a big difference when I’m not!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/19 08:48 PM
1

True - but there is much more pressure on looks for female celebrities, whilst both sexes face the same personal life invasion. Honestly I have no idea why anyone would actually want to be famous. The whole thing looks utterly horrid. Utterly agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/19 12:41 PM
1

Male celebrities I agree - just being a celebrity changes their attractiveness to women even if they aren’t physically attractive. For women, celebrity status can be a lot more harsh - people judge them pretty harshly (even more so than ordinary women) and mainly on their looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/19 11:47 AM
1

This is a good point. I know a few girls who fancied him as teenagers, but whether they would have when at the same school as him without the silver screen advantage is another question...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/19 10:28 AM
1

I will admit I don’t know how Billy Crystal ever played a romantic lead - but these guys aren’t genuinely ugly imo, they’re at worst average. They just don’t fit the dreamboat role by a million miles, and definitely don’t match the women they get in these movies.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/19 08:58 AM
4

I’d argue though that male romantic leads are on average less physically attractive than their female counterparts. It’s pretty common for a not-particularly-attractive-but-comedic guy to get those roles - Adam Sandler, Billy Crystal, Vince Vaughn, Tom Hanks, Jason Segel, Seth Rogan, Michael Cera, etc all play the romantic lead to very attractive actresses who definitely don’t looksmatch. It’s not that these guys are ugly - you need to be a bit more attractive than average to be in these kinds o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/19 11:16 PM
2

Youve got it bang on - they don’t share your values, and instead just fetishise you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/19 02:57 PM
4

Not a single one of my low-N friends married high-N men. As another low-n, good looking, educated woman with a circle of friends of the same description, I completely agree. There’s something just a bit gross about the idea of getting with a high-n man on top of the lack of relationship skills - none of the girls of my group ended up with one, we all settled down reasonably early (early to mid twenties) with great guys who were all also low-n and not into casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/19 10:48 AM
1

Completely agree. My OH doesn’t want a prenup, but I think it’s the best thing for us both - he currently has more assets than me that I think should be protected, but equally we both have well-off families and are likely to get big inheritances that I think should be kept out of any divorce proceeding that might happen. I hope it never happens, obviously, and will work hard to make sure it doesn’t, but it makes me feel better knowing that each of us is protected to a degree. However, my OH want…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/19 09:10 AM
4

I mean, personally I don't know why no-one has given me this job yet - I'm made for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/19 03:26 PM
11

Hmmm. It depends on whether they are currently married, whether the ‘father’ wants to keep parental rights, and the age of the kids. A case where they are still married and have small kids is different than divorced with adult kids. The first, I’d be likely to say that the man gets some degree of recompense through divorce assets, and choice of if he wants custody first (assuming he’s fit), but it’s more about allowing a separation in the way that suits him. In the second scenario, she should re…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/19 02:56 PM
1

This is true. Of all the many things my INFP partner says about me, boring certainly isn’t one of them...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/19 07:19 PM
1

Yeah, but wages are generally lower here so £30k of fees and £30k of maintenance loans adds up to enough that most people (and certainly doctors who don’t earn a fraction of doctors wages in the US) will never pay them back in full.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/19 09:31 PM
2

£9k is the legal maximum here. And it’s hardly nothing when it was free for people now in their 30’s, and even current mid twenties paid less than £3k.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/19 08:37 PM
10

Thank you! I was sitting reading this wondering how £9k a year at RPI+6% interest (on a doctor’s wage essentially a 30 year graduate tax of 10%) was getting your way paid by the taxpayer...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/19 07:56 AM
10

Yeah, people seem to be forgetting that she would share the exact same risk of losing everything and going bankrupt over the business as he did... and she had to give up her career for him to start the business too, so she wouldn’t even be able to keep them afloat either.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/19 07:53 AM
2

There are definitely skills involved in making yourself more attractive. RP has that part spot on. Attractiveness isn’t just about looks for women over the basic threshold, and most women can name at least a few guys who were never very good looking but had some sort of ‘charm’ that made them really attractive. It’s about how you make the woman feel. That sort of skill is great at finding new partners but not at maintaining relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/19 09:53 PM
5

To be fair, I wouldn’t want a virgin at my age either, I think that’s important to note. I’d look for someone with an LTR or two under their belt - but a guy that’s just slept around all his twenties isn’t going to have much more relationship skills than a virgin, and that’s not up my street at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/19 08:08 PM
2

And I’m sure that’s the case. But I’d prefer a guy with a lower n count but an LTR or two - I’d rather have a guy that’s experienced with relationship skills than seduction skills, and it’s really, really rare to have both.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/19 08:05 PM
1

There’s no link between being good at walking away when something isn’t right and being good at making something work long term. That’s two different skill sets, and someone with a high n is less likely to have gained that second set of skills than someone who has been in LTRs - and high n are also more likely to walk away when the shine wears off. Not saying all will, but a bit like when guys criticise high n women for lack of relationship skills, that same lack is going to be there in a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/19 05:37 PM
4

My point is that I don’t think I’d feel comfortable getting into an LTR with a high n count guy for that reason. I can’t inagine how it wouldn’t affect someone’s ability to make an LTR work, and I wouldn’t want to risk my heart on that to be honest. Thankfully I already have a wonderful SO so it’s a moot point really.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/19 05:23 PM
1

I completely agree with your view on this. I can’t imagine being with a high n guy as I could only imagine being compared to the best of every short term relationship or one night stand he’s ever had - especially as you get into an LTR and the shine wears off and the potential of every other woman walking past who isn’t a 3D personality to him yet begins to play on his mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/19 03:58 PM
1

I don’t know about that - the best looking 70’s women I know are all a wee bit fat and were from their 50’s or so. The slim ones look like crones.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/19 07:07 PM
1

Oh fair enough. Even then, I’m not sure it’d be as low as 26 here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/19 07:05 PM
1

It’s that young in the US?! That’s crazy. The U.K. average for 2018 was 30.4.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/19 02:02 PM
1

Totally agree - young women look worse when fat (and talking fat, not obese) but older women look better when a bit fat as you say due to fewer wrinkles. Where the point is that it changes is probably a good way of defining the wall.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/19 01:54 PM
1

We actually had this happen one day when out at a bar. My SO stood back and clapped whilst I dealt with the guy. Im the martial artist of the two of us after all. If ever I was in trouble I know he’d dive in to try and protect me as I would for him, but I appreciate him leaving me to handle what I can by myself. And getting slapped on the arse or anything like that isn’t something I can’t handle - I did long before he came on the scene after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/19 10:38 PM
10

Punching holes and crying at work does not even indicate the same emotion. They absolutely can! I’m an angry crier - when I get frustrated I can’t help myself and it’s awful because no one takes your anger seriously when you cry. I wish I had the strength to punch through a wall instead because my anger might actually get taken as seriously as the guys I know who do that instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/19 03:54 PM
27

I've never seen a man punch a hole through a wall Christ I wish I could say the same. If the guys I knew could handle their tempers better I wouldn’t have a hole in my bathroom wall and living room door currently, let alone the ones I’ve had to fix before...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/19 03:48 PM
1

Well, I mean, I’m a woman as are my friends, and the first thing we saw was a teenage temper tantrum boy - he’s definitely portrayed as desperate and obsessed with a temper problem. Poe I’ll absolutely give you but not Kylo Ren.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/19 09:45 AM
2

Kylo -> Rey -> Poe -> Janitor Finn + titty sucking Luke + others. I was thinking you made some really interesting points until I hit this example - dude, in what world is teenage temper tantrum boy Kylo Ren an alpha? He’s a fantastic character to watch because of that quality, but he’s not got the Chad characteristics of Poe (who the women all adore despite him literally leading a mutiny against them and fucking up everything).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/19 12:56 AM
3

Thays tricky because often the men in these scenarios objectify right back - it’s a bit like a gross equal tradeoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/18 01:41 PM
1

Ew. That’s really really awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/18 12:43 PM
4

I’m not convinced by this example. Unless your only reason for going on the date is a free meal and you aren’t at all interested in the man otherwise, then it’s a characteristic (will he pay) rather than reducing him completely to his wallet. Some women do do the above though and that’s pretty awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/18 12:35 PM
2

I’ve had it happen quite a few times, but usually when I’m not looking my best or am in fancy dress or something and look awful - it’s a mockery thing rather than a flattery thing IME. That’s why I hate it. A genuine compliment is never a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/18 09:56 PM
7

I actually like the image of a ‘wall’ for the sudden realisation many women have that they want to settle down, and the sudden frantic searching for a LTR that follows this realisation. I don’t think the dynamic of advantage between the sexes is more than a ‘mild tilt’ towards men but the idea of a sudden realisation and feeling of approaching expiration linked to fertility is definitely a common enough phenomenon imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/18 12:12 AM
7

Wouldn’t the friend overruling her friends romance based on her personal feelings be the shitty friend? It's not overruling, it's just going to end/irreparably damage the relationships with both friend and dad. If your mum suddenly started dating your best friend, surely you'd feel a bit weird about it? Surely the usual friend talk about sex and relationships suddenly becomes a subject you don't want to cover, and you can't hang out with them together because is she your mum or your friends gf a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/18 03:28 AM
2

And what did I say further up? I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life let alone my partner, and think it’s a really abhorrent thing to do. My partner knows me well enough to know that. And I absolutely would take it in complete offence if he accused me of it. My objection doesn’t come from wanting to be sure of the parentage of the child - I think if you don’t trust the mother it’s a sensible move, and certainly within his rights at the very least regardless of the situation - but I absolutely …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/18 07:57 PM
2

I’d divorce him, frankly, because lying about it makes it even worse. But I’d hope I’d know my husband better than that and that he’s know me better than that, or else it’s doomed. Edit: lying to someone about something that is a hard dealbreaker to them in a relationship is something we defend men from on a regular basis here on PPD. I would never have children with a man who thought it was fine to accuse me of being unfaithful and expect me to stay with him afterwards, and someone who would li…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/18 06:23 PM
6

when a female cat is in heat it will accept pretty much any male cat Domestic cats (and some solitary big cat species) are actually induced ovulators - the barbs on the male’s penis stimulate release of the ovum for fertilisation. This is because they are solitary and stops waste of ova from being in heat with no males around. Also explains why they scream when mating - that shit hurts and she isn’t in the mood when they start.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/18 01:33 PM
2

Why not? Because if my husband doesn't trust me to be faithful to him, I wouldn't stay with him - he should know me and know how seriously I take my commitment to him (and that I've never cheated on anyone in my life and think it's repugnant). Trust is the foundation of a relationship. I'd give him the bloody test if that was his wish, but I wouldn't stay with him after it proved I had been faithful all along. Frankly I can't imagine any relationship standing that level of mistrust, but some peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/18 10:54 PM
0

In that case, I agree. I think anyone hiding that kind of dodgy dealing is pretty damn low. But as someone who has only ever been faithful to a partner I'd take serious offence to having it expected of me personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/18 07:09 PM
0

Yes - but the only time you'd need a paternity test for that is if you actually aren't sure who the father is, as I said. If you know your partner is the only person you slept with you are well able to be against a test and not showing lack of care for your kids health. And the genetic aspect of Alzheimer's (alongside many other neurodegenerative diseases) is hugely debated. It's at the very least highly polygenic with a major aspect being environmental, if not germline genetic predisposition be…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/18 06:57 PM
3

If a women is against paternity testing, she doesn't really value the health and safety of her own kids! As a geneticist, these aren't the same tests. There are specific tests for monogenic diseases etc (and a family member testing positive usually prompts awareness of this in the family etc), and polygenic disease risk through ancestry is imprecise at best. Paternity testing is only going to be a requirement here if the woman knows there is multiple potential fathers and there is a knowledge of…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/18 06:12 PM
1

I'm not raising children that aren't mine. Completely agree that no man should have to, and the women that do that are scum. That being said I'm also not having children with anyone who won't agree to paternity testing of every kid at birth. And I wouldn't have kids with / stay with any man who asked it of me, personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/18 06:01 PM
2

1.3 and 3.4. Is it unusual to be low primary but high secondary? I’m not totally sure I understand the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/18 11:40 PM
1

Ok, so in a casual thing, looks are overwhelmingly the most important thing. In a relationship, looks are the first thing we look at, but imo personality is more important it just takes longer to work out. So it ends up in practicality that we positively choose for looks (sometimes describes as hitting a certain passmark) and then negatively select by personality (ie dump the people we don’t get on with). That personality is shown to be more important is seen by the number of less good looking g…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/18 09:28 PM
1

Ideally you want a woman who doesn’t enjoy short term flings That’s almost no women Certainly came across like that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/18 10:12 AM
2

There are plenty of women who don’t enjoy short term flings, myself and most of my friend group included.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/18 09:48 AM
2

Neither are really my type (Dracula is a user and Rambo a violent meathead), but I have a weird phobia of vampires so it’d have to be Rambo. My opinion is that the majority would choose Dracula though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/18 08:27 AM
2

Live and let live. Hope they enjoy their own life the way I do with everyone else. Absolutely choose low n. I wouldn’t touch a guy with a high n with a barge pole. I don’t care what they want to do with their lives, but don’t expect me to want to be another notch. Also, to me hookers count and I’d nope out of that too. Equally a pattern of casual sex. As I’ve said on here before, anyone can have personal preferences as long as you don’t translate those preferences to moral judgements over a whol…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/18 11:28 PM
7

I have to say I agree - I'm not always in the mood, but unless I'm absolutely exhausted or genuinely not feeling well (not a headache or something, more like flu or stomach bug!) then I never let on that I'm not and make an effort, and always get into it. It's more likely to be the other way round for us though, and again, unless he's really exhausted then generally the rule is that I get a shot at getting him in the mood before he says no. It works reasonably well - we've never gone longer than…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/18 02:12 PM
2

There are a few studies on demographics of childlessness in different European countries discussed here.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/18 09:29 AM
2

I’m in exactly the same spot as you - adamant I didn’t want kids, now can see myself having them with current partner but driven by his huge desire for kids (if we were to unexpectedly break up, I wouldn’t be worrying about not having kids, put it that way). I can’t speak for all women, but for me it’s due to career etc. I’ve watched too many women in my life have to give up careers or lose out on career progression due to restrictions of having kids, and missing out on time for their own hobbie…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/18 09:15 AM
1

Actually it isn’t - there are a ton of interesting g studies showing that complementary rather than similar personality traits are better predictors of relationship outcomes, using a variety of different parameters of personality etc. I don’t think anyone would deny literal opposites aren’t a great fit but neither is too high a degree of similarity, and extroversion is one such personality descriptor that gets discussed ina few classic papers.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/18 12:28 AM
1

Evidence for that? Cos opposites attracting is also a well documented phenomenon, and I know I’d never deal with a personality type just like mine...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/18 11:39 PM
8

However, shy girls still like assertive confident guys. If anything, shy girls want a confident guy even more - very confident outgoing women are less likely to be bothered about shyness/lack of confidence as long as he tries and doesn’t just hold up in his room all day.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/18 09:11 AM
1

Thank you, that’s a kind thought - luckily I already have him, and won’t be letting him get away any time soon!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/18 07:54 AM
1

There is definitely a bias against virgins in parts of the west at least! Being a virgin in the U.K. is going to see you get the side eye after a certain age for sure, regardless of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/18 10:34 AM
5

Exactly this. I have an n of 2, and frankly the idea of a guy with an n of more than 5 or 6 squicks me out. A guy feeling the same about a girl with a hugely different sexual experience makes total sense to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/18 10:18 AM
1

Totally agree. I was a teenager with my first love - I knew fine well it wasn’t going to last once we left for university. My long term partner now is a totally different kettle of fish.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/18 10:08 AM
3

He should care if women hear/see it because a lot of women will be turned off by it. And certainly here in the U.K. depending on where and what is said, it can be classified as hate, harassment or if in the workplace or service provision it breaks the equality act. So you can get into shit for it. So there are reasons to care her ein the U.K. a train least, certainly about where it’s said and to whom.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/18 01:03 PM
2

In women under 20 it most definitely is. After that, it definitely isn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/18 11:46 PM
3

Also bear in mind the third affected party - the child. In an abortion, there is no child resulting, so we don’t have to consider whether or not they benefit. In a financial abortion, that child is suddenly facing real financial uncertainty. With the need to work, childcare costs etc, that child is probably going to suffer for lack of either government subsidy by welfare or from the non custodial parent (or either sex). In that case, the result of a financial or paper abortion is weighting the b…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/18 11:28 PM
5

And it's less painful than a lifelong, involuntary obligation. In absolutely sincerity, I would 100% rather have the monetary obligation than have to have an abortion. It’s painful, can leave you infertile, can leave you traumatised from the combination of guilt, hormones and the lurking protestors and often impacts on your relationship on top - the couple of people I know who got one just never had the same relationship with their partner after it and the relationships ended. I already pay a hu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/18 11:18 PM
10

I'm in the UK and we've called it protected for like forty years. But even last time I was working in a US hospital it was referred to as protected. Call it condomless sex/bareback/whatever you want that is correct, just please don't call sex on the pill unprotected as it confuses the situation. Doctors and other health professionals giving advice refer very specifically to when you are and aren't unprotected when using the pill so referring to the whole usage as unprotected is a mess.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/18 10:51 AM
5

To be honest, I mildly prefer condom sex as a woman. It doesn't actually feel any different to me, if anything mildly better because of the lube, and I don't have to deal with the mess afterwards. For me, I was on the pill for medical reasons at age 15, so I didn't choose to go on it for contraceptive reasons, and my OH far prefers condomless so it wasn't a big deal to go there after a few months and some STI checks. But if it was purely down to me, I'd probably stick with condoms.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/18 10:47 AM
3

It's amazing that people don't understand that different forms of birth control are simply different methods of delivering the same medication. There are variations actually. Some pills are progestin-only, others combined, and the copper IUD isn't hormonal at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/18 10:40 AM
14

Having sex while on birth control but without condoms is generally referred to as unprotected sex. Um, dude, it's definitely not. Birth control pills are protection - it's even used in the vernacular in some places, 'are you on protection?'. what it isn't is barrier protection, so doesn't protect against STIs. Unprotected sex is when you need to take emergency contraception/morning after pill/Plan B. Look at any medical provider advice and you'll see this terminology used.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/18 10:38 AM
4

Girls figure this out super young. When you’re bullied as a girl growing up, even when you’re good looking you’re told you’re ugly and fat by other girls (I watch some of the best looking girls at school get that treatment because they weren’t ‘cool’) - you live in dread of it. If anything I went the other way - finally realised I was pretty. I’ve never put much effort in on a day to day basis, not as a teenager and not now either, but if anything I quickly learned that I’m pretty enough to stil…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/18 09:43 PM
3

I’m not the person you replied to about this, but I think both AWALT and ‘any man could be a rapist’ are both protective ideas that can be really important in the early stages of meeting someone new, but will both equally stop you every having meaningful trusting relationships if you can’t move beyond them once you get to know someone properly. IMO these phases shouldn’t last too long, but some people are more guarded than others so it will vary. But either mindset is unhealthy if that’s how you…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/18 11:06 PM
1

I don’t know how I do it. It’s like my eyes are programmed to blink or go glazed any time a lens is aimed at me - even when I don’t know it. And I pull weird faces or my hair goes weird or... it’s becone a running joke with my friends now to share photos they take of me to the group chat and compare to past favourites.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/18 05:16 PM
2

5’10, very thick dark long curly hair, very pale and get sunburnt super easily. Long legs, short torso but wide hips, big arse and big bust - paired with a narrow but short waist so if I don’t wear clothes cinched in at the waist it’s not flattering. I have big dark eyes, but my nose is a bit too broad. I get told I have a nice smile. My cheekbones are quite sharp but I always think my forehead is a bit large. On a good day, with a little bit of makeup and hair done nice and dressed well I’m pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/18 09:27 AM
4

I’ve been ‘hanging out’ with my partner for years now. What do you think two people in a relationship do in between having sex over a long term relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/18 07:28 PM
5

You're right, I shouldn't bite. Far too easy to jump on the reply button.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 02:05 PM
3

Um, because healthy BMI is literally defined in the medical literature? Mine is 21.3. I'm 5'10 and 10st 9.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 02:02 PM
10

Dude, I have a healthy BMI and am pretty good looking. He works a lot of late hours in a stressful job. Way to assume.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 01:57 PM
6

Exactly this. My OH has a lower libido than me so he’s regularly the gatekeeper - I could count on one hand the number of times I’ve turned him down, whereas he does it semi-regularly and jokes that I’m insatiable.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 01:29 PM
1

It didn’t just work because he’s sexy af - I’ve been approached by plenty of cocky arseholes who were physically attractive, but my attraction definitely increased to him as he revealed that straightforward direct personality. Game playing is not attractive like that to me. Not texting back right away is one thing - not replying when you texted two minutes ago or leaving someone on read is another. And personally, I’m not into that kind of teasing either, although I get that some women may be.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 08:10 PM
2

Beta male 101 I’m so glad my OH is a beta male according to this definition. He’s sexy as fuck but god if he hadn’t just been straightforward and honest about his interest from the start then I never would have ended up in bed with him so soon into our relationship...
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/18 07:32 AM
3

Women are attracted to aggressive men and are turned off by behaviors that indicate a man is low T. Not necessarily true. I know quite a few women who are scared of aggressive men, and personally I’m pretty independent and have dumped guys for trying to boss me around. No time for that. would people tell him “you’re not entitled to a job!!” Yup, tbh. Nobody is entitled to a job - you have to learn job skills etc, and how to interview well, and also swot up on your prospective employer and what y…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/18 01:58 PM
1

Fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/18 07:02 AM
2

having sufficient masculinity that he's able to afford moments of not being conventionally masculine I mean, this is literally the definition of being confident enough in your masculinity, right? I don’t agree on the premise that women aren’t attracted to less typically masculine men sexually (if anything, I would be less attracted to my OH if I didn’t truly admire his character including his emotional sensitivity etc as much as I do), but surely the phrase ‘confidence/security in his masculinit…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/18 04:21 PM
1

This specific subset is very much a minority Do you have figures to back this up? My experience is very much the opposite of this, and whilst I accept other anecdotal experiences will vary, I’d be interested if the actual figures agree. Camp Straights are sometimes mistaken for gay initially I’m talking about actively hitting on. From what I’ve seen, approaching a camp guy is easier for women (or maybe the subset of women who like that are just bolder) and more women actually approach them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/18 02:54 PM
1

The only query I have with this point is that, in my experience, Straight and camp guys get a lot of female attention. I remember my guy friends at uni being flabbergasted over how many girls threw themselves at one particular example we knew quite well. So, to at least a specific and significant subset of women, this is very attractive, at least in the short term.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/18 09:56 AM
2

I mean, most of the men I know aren’t afraid to order a girly cocktail or scream at a spider or something like that. I don’t know any stereotypically ‘manly men’ who only do masculine things. My own OH has plenty of feminine traits as well as masculine ones, because he’s a person and not a cardboard cut out. I find him extremely sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/18 08:50 AM
1

Actually, widows with kids were often a good bet for a man whose first wife hadn’t given him kids - they’ve already proved they can squeeeze them out. So it’s possible it was planned that way! I mean, women didn’t have many rights back in those days and they definitely needed a man to give them the good life, but that’s why we had chivalry and the protective attitude towards women - they may have been property, but men were judged socially on how they looked after said property so most women wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/18 06:33 AM
3

In England, two commoner widows!!!! became queens through marriage and zero commoner widowers became kings through marriage The rest of your post is fair enough, but this is real false equivalency. King and queen are very different roles - King is the top job and considered in all ways superior to a Queen by marriage, so your commoner widows becoming queens just isn’t equivalent to lack of similar men being king. One could only be king by birthright or right of conquest, not marriage, because it…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/18 10:41 PM
1

Sorry, I just replied via my inbox - was it someone different that got snippy about my post than I replied to in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/18 05:42 AM
1

But you didn’t say a woman was expecting you to be an atypical man, you said she was expecting you to be a woman when she expected you to behave this way. Not really comparable to a lesbian with a faux beard. You very much implied that this sort of behaviour goes against your very identification as a man, and that’s what I take issue with - if you’d said ‘most guys’, that would have been a totally different thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/18 08:49 PM
8

This goes back to women suddenly expecting men to be women. So guys like my OH, who is pretty emotionally intelligent and sensitive, and likes to talk through his own stresses and problems with me, isn't a man? This is honestly what drives me nuts about the discussions on here sometimes. Masculinity doesn't mean refusing to talk emotions or validate how someone feels. If you don't want to do this, fine. But don't take away from the guys out there who are incredibly attractive but still enjoy thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/18 04:05 PM
12

My entire friend group is like this (although about half are still engaged to said guy rather than married yet), which is why I find RP theory so bizarre. EqUally, I barely know anyone with divorced parents, and certainly no one in my family/family friends etc. I’m happy to admit I probably got very lucky and have quite an extreme experience because of that, but regularly getting told I’m wrong despite my life experience is really frustrating. It might not represent all women/relationships, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/18 06:10 AM
1

Honestly, I’m not sure. The younger guys I’ve dated have all been pretty mature IMO, and I guess my tastes just haven’t aged as quickly as I have? I have a lot of friends who are a few years younger than me too so part of it will be linked I think. I’ve always found the idea of dating older guys a bit cringe inducing, having watched one or two of my friends do it, and I always seem to attract younger guys as well as preferring them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/18 06:39 AM
1

Being obese is awful regardless. But the discussion was about being fat, not just obese, and I think it’s worth pointing out that being overweight can actually make you look younger with age. I agree the difference for men though, as wrinkles aren’t such an aging factor in guys the benefits aren’t the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/18 12:49 PM
1

You say that, but my 80 year old grandma has carried a little extra weight all her life (think slightly chubby not fat) and keeps looking better and better the more she ages as that extra weight smooths out the wrinkles. She regularly gets mistaken for being 20 years younger than she is. In contrast, my mum has been very slim all her life (ex-dancer) and from about mid forties has aged a lot due to wrinkles. Comparing her and my grandma, there’s an advert for carrying a bit extra weight when you…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/18 06:13 AM
4

Women, who here is into robbing the cradle? How many of you would want a guy younger than you? How many could even stand the maturity level of a guy just out of college? I generally agree with your post but had to answer your question... I very much prefer younger guys. Every guy I’ve ever dated has been younger than me, and I met my current OH when he was just out of college and I was four years out.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/18 06:02 AM
1

Why? He is physically active, he doesn't need to lift weights on top of that if he isn't into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/18 12:34 PM
2

He doesn’t lift at all. He plays sports and is a bassist in a band instead. He rarely masterbates, no vasectomy, is only 25, no problems with any sort of trauma. Hasn’t seen a doctor because he’s completely healthy - he just hasn’t got nearly as high a libido as I do. Low libido in men is much more common than you would like to believe, and isn’t necessarily a medical problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/18 05:57 AM
1

He says so, and I believe him.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 09:25 PM
3

Dude I’m not exactly new to this. When he isn’t in the mood, nothing I’ve tried works - he just doesn’t want to, and wants cuddles instead. He jokes semi regularly about the fact I’m just insatiable and he doesn’t know how I’m always so horny. It used to make me worry that he wasn’t that into me, but he assured me he just is satisfied with much less sex than me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a big deal, and our relationship is great - our libidos are just a bit mismatched and it’s something we ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 08:03 PM
3

Then why do you have a reason to assume that women in relationships where they stay despite abuse or neglect aren’t in love? The logic is exactly the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 07:08 PM
5

Of course I do. But that’s not how you represented it. Because otherwise you’d see that you can’t claim men love unconditionally just because they aren’t the ones initiating divorce... they could easily be with their partners but not in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 07:03 PM
3

So again, you offer him blowjobs with garenteed no obligation in return and despite him being tired he denies you all the same? Yup. He’s just never really been that into blowjobs - which I actually found quite hard to get my head around at first, but if I didn’t trust that he’s honest with me then I wouldn’t be with him, so I believe him. I’d agree that being tired definitely affects him and makes it worse, but even before his hours increased he would say he wasn’t in the mood semi-regularly, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 07:02 PM
6

Your definition for love was staying together unconditionally... it’s right there mate.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 06:51 PM
5

Love is unconditional accept for EXTREME circumstances like marital rape or SERIOUS neglect or abuse. Love is eternal, again, barring EXTREME circumstances. This was your definition for love. So yeah, it does follow from that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 06:43 PM
3

Because he’s tired, or not in the mood, or just wants to snuggle. He does work very long hours but he’s also just not very high libido. We have sex two or three times a week, but I would happily have sex pretty much every day if he would. I’ve learned not to keep asking because I hate getting turned down - it’s less frustrating to let him initiate when he is in the mood. I really enjoy giving him blowjobs (although I hated them with my ex because he had a tendency to be a dick about it) but he p…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 06:41 PM
10

And yet some women stay with their partners despite neglect or abuse. Under your definition, that’s love.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 06:33 PM
6

You’d be surprised at how often the woman has the higher libido. I, and a few of my girlfriends are in similar situations, have a higher libido than my OH, and it definitely leaves me feeling rejected and sexually frustrated sometimes. I’d never cheat, because regardless of the fact I absolutely adore him and don’t want anyone else I’m also not a shitty person, but it’s definitely not true that the guy is always the one who is being turned down in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/18 06:18 PM
2

Nope. I’m 27, and just freaked out my entire extended female family by announcing exciting news... not that my long term, live-in OH and I are getting married/starting a family, but that I’m moving 600 miles away to start a PhD, and going distance with my OH. Yeah, we want marriage and family eventually, but not right now - there are too many things we both want to do/achieve before our lives start revolving around our kids. But I didn’t predict the panicked reaction of my mum and my aunts, who …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/18 01:55 PM
0

I didn’t hate it, but didn’t particularly like it either. But not because of the characters - it takes itself too seriously as a film IMO and isn’t fun the way a romcom is supposed to be fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/18 10:34 PM
1

I know, I get such funny looks. But once you get people talking it's great. I live in Zone 5 so you get a good space of time to natter on the Tube in to the centre in the mornings!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/18 08:02 AM
2

I've just moved to London and OMG I get such funny looks when I chat to people. Doesn't stop me doing it though. Who wants to silently ride the tube every day?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/18 07:55 AM
1

Easier to share with non friends I don't do this, and am not worried about doing so. Easier to discover other cool photos/photogs Fair, but again doesn't seem worth the extra hassle. Better image quality For most of the people I share my photos with, they will barely notice this. Less noise As in, less other posts etc? But then I'd have to go back to Facebook anyway to keep up with how everyone is doing... seems like it's just doing an extra layer of unnecessary to me tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/18 08:28 AM
1

But I wouldn't be giving up Facebook, as thats how I keep in touch with a lot of friends who I don't see very often. So I would only be adding more hassle, not cutting anything down.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/18 08:25 AM
1

But why go to all the hassle when I can share my photos with my friends already on Facebook? I’d need to add all the same people again just to do what I already do... and then have to spend twice as much time checking social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 09:34 PM
2

Your statement itself is evidence of this phenomena because you assume that non-extroverts are "shy nerdy types", social recluses basically. This is a great point. Im introverted in that I find dealing with groups of people (people in general) too regularly for too long completely exhausting, and love my own company, but appear very outgoing and am very confident with people when I am socialising. My oh is the opposite - he’s painfully shy but loves being surrounded by people and being prt of wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 09:21 PM
1

I don’t have Instagram or Twitter - it seemed like too much effort when my friends were already all on Facebook. I’m actually really into photography and have a decent camera that I actually know how to use effectively but why do I need Instagram when I already share them on Facebook?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 09:09 PM
3

5’9, OH also 5’9 (I think he’s a fraction shorter than me but he’s adamant I am, so we’re probs save height). I’m not allowed to wear heels when I go out with him, but he’s strong enough to still pick me up etc so doesn’t make me feel big which meant it didn’t bother me. He’s two years younger than me (we’re 28 and 26). We met and 24 and 22, and I was surprised by his age but it didn’t bother me as wel clicked so well. Now I forget until he makes a joke about me being decrepit.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 03:38 PM
3

Don’t get me wrong, we have the lowest life expectancies of the U.K., lots of problems with education and healthcare etc, but socially it’s a great place to live generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 01:34 PM
1

Oh, absolutely. If they need constant excitement about the state of the relationship rather than doing something exciting like hiking through the Scottish Highlands or backpacking across China or scuba diving in the Red Sea (the type of stuff my OH and I get up to) then are they ever going to be able to pull together in the long term?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 07:11 AM
2

Yeah, our drinking culture is mental and probably the reason I’ll die early, not gonna lie. But not everybody in Scotland sounds as crazy as Glaswegians - I’m from the north east and we speak a totally different kind of Scots and are generally more awesome.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 07:08 AM
3

As an outgoing, sociable person, I love it. I have a long term OH, and not being able to go to the pub and chat to new and interesting because of him at home just seems so alien and antisocial to me. Imagine thinking every interaction with someone of the other sex in a social setting is sexual?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 09:31 PM
7

It becomes a weird competition as to who gives in rather than ab actual relationship. It’s crazy. I personally find I do quite well approaching - but, caveat, I’ve never approached for sex (never had nor will have casual sex) so can’t comment on that. I live in Scotland, where opening a conversation with a guy/any other person in a pub is perfectly normal socialising and not necessarily an IoI, so it was generally pretty easy to chat to people and then just go for it and ask them on a date if I …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 03:22 PM
11

Don’t blame you. It is a pain in the ass. I definitely wouldn’t have the relationship I do now if I’d kept following that’s dvice.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 03:19 PM
8

I think the advice is mainstream - that doesn’t mean it’s not manipulative advice. But then I find a lot of aspects of the dating ‘game’ to be quite manipulative tbh, and part of why I clicked so immediately with my OH is because neither of us got into the bullshit stuff. My OH’s friends told him never to text back within an hour - so that sort of stupid manipulative advice is passed around on both sides, even excluding Pill and PUA advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 03:09 PM
16

My mother and aunties, later my friends, and hella lot of girly magazines. It’s kind of a common bit of advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 02:56 PM
86

The advice to make him chase you. It’s manipulative, stressful, and selects for the kind of guy who cares more about the chase than you. My love life improved significantly once I stopped following that crap advice and approaching myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 02:48 PM
1

I mean, if we’re talking genuinely lovely guys and not entitled faux niceness, then I don’t think they necessarily do. I’ve never dated a bad boy - I don’t see the appeal at all in someone who is going to mess you around. None of my friends have dated anybody I didn’t consider at least of average niceness levels (some more so than others). My own OH is the sweetest, most thoughtful guy I know. So, beats me if they really do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 02:46 PM
15

I think this depends on where you are - here in Scotland Tinder is genuinely used as a dating app, and half of my friends (including myself) met their long term partners on there. I’ve never had casuals ex in my life but had a lot of great dates from Tinder and a great OH now.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/18 07:30 PM
1

Exactly. It’s a very masculine environment that selects for people with those traits - there will be some women but mainlymen.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 08:19 AM
3

He was feminine in his high school musical days Meh, he played a teenage jock - he wasn't supposed to be muscley. But he aged well. Even in 2012 he was in that film The Lucky One and played an Iraq veteran with PTSD and he was hot af in that, so he's been at that level for a while now.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/18 02:43 PM
4

Dude, Zac Efron isn't feminine. He has a great jawline, muscles and the stubble is drool-worthy...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/18 02:36 PM
2

I have teenage sisters, they and their friends were all about Loki in the Thor movies and they're not some weird outlier. This is really true - most teenage girls (and I and my friends were the same back in those days) are attracted to similarly aged guys, so the mid-late twenties guys who have that slightly feminine, younger look are more attractive to them. It seems to change in early to mid twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/18 02:34 PM
3

Women are as competitive as men for getting jobs and work in those fields today. Are they masculine? They show some masculine traits in those roles, yes. And I say that as a competitive woman who works in a masculine environment myself. Women often make better salespeople in certain fields because people trust women more so they can make more deals. And yet behind the scenes, sales is absolutely cutthroat regardless of how you go about selling to your actual customers. I know more than one woman…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/18 12:47 PM
2

He's a submissive bitch to those above him, no masculinity is allowed or will be tolerated. There are levels. There is layers of management, or real hotshot workers who aren't in management but who get cut a lot of slack because of it (my OH is like this - he's milked some great concessions out of management because they can't afford to lose him - and it takes balls to go in and negotiate that sort of thing), or industries like recruitment and finance and sales where even your entry level is ver…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/18 12:06 PM
32

I argue that modern masculinity is different than before, but it's still masculinity not femininity that women are attracted to. If you've ever worked in a high-powered corporate environment, those guys are pretty masculine - it's all about competition and aggression and authority. It's just not physical labouring, that's all. Masculinity is a combination of traits, not just physical labour/muscles. If you had to guess who's more masculine, a tradesman or a college educated man in a corporate jo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/18 11:55 AM
4

No, I wouldn’t. They need to be able to make their own decisions about this IMO. My mum drip fed me sex ed from a young age (it was always age appropriate and therefore more in depth with age), so I knew well before ever starting my period about contraceptive options. I plan to do the same with my own kids. If they want it, sure. If not? No. A bit like ear piercing, they need to be able to make their own choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/18 06:44 AM
2

There are definitely low libido men out there. I say this as a pretty high libido woman whose OH struggles to keep up.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/18 05:00 PM
1

That seems to be a European/Australian thing. It’s true. Am Scottish, we call everyone cunts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/18 02:39 PM
3

Of course women can be cunts. Some women can be cunts, some women are cunts, and some are really lovely people. Just like men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/18 02:14 PM
1

I'm about to go distance again with my OH. For us, it's pretty important we can handle distance - I'm in academia, and have required a few extended periods working abroad, and even when I'm at home he works offshore for a few weeks at a time quite regularly. We do however make it a priority to see each other and spend that as quality time together. There are no excuses for calling off a visit or making alternative plans - we do plan our weekends enough in advance that this is fair. We're both ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/18 05:26 PM
1

There are huge parts of the country (generally outside the commuter belt for London) where you can get much better properties for a steal. However you have to be lucky enough to have a job that allows you to make a better comparative wage to house price, which wasn’t the case for us. I make 50% more in Aberdeen than in Glasgow, where the same property would be two thirds of the price. I made 15% more again in London, and our flat in Barnet was only 10% more again. So it is a relative cost more t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/18 12:31 PM
1

I lived in a really lovely flat in High Barnet - zone 5, lovely small town feel, not crime ridden at all. My friends have a lovely house near Leytonstone, zone 4 and not far off the cost of our flat in Aberdeen. There are lots of cheap but perfectly nice parts of London that aren’t shot holes either, they just aren’t trendy! My dad lived in Royal Tunbridge Wells and it was more expensive than our place in High Barnet, so Kent is definitely not always cheaper for what you get.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/18 08:57 AM
1

Depends on the part of London and part of Kent. Some part of zones 5 and 6 or poorer, less fashionable parts of zone3 and 4 even aren’t nearly as expensive as some of the more expensive towns of Kent for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/18 05:07 PM
1

Most of the Home Counties and much of the South East and East as well - arguably Oxford and Cambridge are worse than large parts of London. And I'm actually from Aberdeen - we have huge property price problems here too. We wouldn't have our flat without a double income and family help.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/18 02:28 PM
1

All of this comes under "Save yourself a couple bucks in order to engage in a contract that could lose you a couple hundred thousand" as per the OP. That's assuming you divorce. And assuming you haven't made more money as a couple than you would have separately. And assuming you spend a lot of money going to court (not necessary here in most cases). As I said, my experience has definitely been more happy marriages than not, so I'm fairly optimistic about benefits over over drawbacks, because I'v…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/18 12:54 PM
2

Weird when I was splitting a house with roommates it didn't seem so complicated. You were all on the deed to the house? You all had a stake in the equity of the house? So what you mean is.. you need to be even MORE careful? I can't see your point. It means there are precedents for ensuring equal splitting of assets, and as it isn’t just the house involved other things can also be taken into account when you split. Generally speaking it’s a tick box project rather than a civil dispute - at least …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/18 08:28 AM
1

Yeah it’s crazy. But you’re right, there are plenty of benefits of being here too!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/18 08:16 AM
7

why's that? If you share ownership of a house but aren’t married, you have to be super careful about what you put into the house. Deposit should be exactly the same, no using inheritance etc, mortgage payments exactly equal (plus bills etc), buying paint or new windows and labour in terms of the garden or decorating should all be equal, because at the end of the day all that deed says is that your ownership is 50/50. If you aren’t super careful, someone loses out, and either way you need to sell…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/18 04:36 PM
1

Not so here in the U.K. unfortunately. Two salaries makes it possible, and splitting from someone you aren’t married to but share a house with can see huge problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/18 04:23 PM
12

I’m a millennial not Gen Z, but yeah, I want to get married. From a personal finance perspective, it’s insane to buy a house with someone you aren’t married to, plus there’s no inheritance tax between spouses here in the U.K. and you can share your tax free allowance if one partner stays at home with the kids. Plus next of kin rights if something happens to one of you, and right of attorney. Equally, it’s a big symbol of love and commitment. Even my OH, whose parents divorced quite messily, sees…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/18 08:06 AM
3

I work in a university, and at 27 the incoming 18 year olds look like children to me now - even a 23 year old seems young to me. It's absolutely about perspective. This is, however, why 30+ guys chasing 18 year olds at looked at weirdly, because most other people of the same can't understand why they would chase after what seems to them like a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/18 03:32 PM
2

As a teenager you were not very smart if you think I am already ancient at 26. Also my experience that I wouldn't have dreamed of dating older than 21 at age 18 - and even that was a gap IMO. I wouldn't have seriously looked past about a year's difference. One of my friends was pursued quite seriously by a PhD student who wouldn't have been more than 23, and we (very maturely, but we were only 18) nicknamed him 'Creepy Grad' because he just didn't seem to get that he was too old. He was handsome…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/18 02:29 PM
1

I'd agree with a caveat for age. 5 is more than just on the way to slut at 18 for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/18 02:15 PM
1

Exactly. I mean, I'm Scottish, and I know we're very free with swear words compared to say, the Home Counties, but people only tend to say 'flip' or 'sugar' in front of young kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 02:21 PM
2

I asked my OH and told him in return - IIRC it was a post-coital pre-sleep casual chat in the dark. It was a curious thing rather than a judging thing though. I was less interested in the number and more the intimacy of him telling the story behind it though. It was one random conversation years ago and I honestly can't remember what the number was now, although I remember us giggling about each of our most outlandish experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 09:21 AM
7

To be honest, much as I support helping women into male dominated careers... I still don’t think physical standards should be lowered for them to do the job. Does that make me a terrible egalitarian?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 08:10 PM
1

Maybe in the US - in the U.K. it’s really, really not.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 07:29 AM
1

It varies by country - I’m from the U.K. and class is different here to the way it’s discussed in the US. In the US, it’s closely aligned with socioeconomic status, but in the U.K. it’s much more to do with your family background.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/18 07:26 AM
2

The wealthier families I know are the most conservative and least feminist. This is hugely, hugely split. Your wealthy tend to either be small c conservative or else very 'urban liberal elite' - and that's been the case for centuries. It's why there were always very different political parties even in the Lords in the days before universal suffrage. It's quite common to be liberal or even a bit of a champagne social democrat and UMC/UC in the UK, they're just far more common in cities than the c…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/18 05:43 PM
7

I hate to say it, but absolutely this. I grew up in a very wealthy UMC area, went to a very traditionally UMC/UC school and most of my friends are from that sort of background too - and you just don't talk about money like that. When people talk about money, it's definitely a sign they are either what Americans call trashy or else very new money.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/18 05:25 PM
2

Yeah, it strikes me as pretty gross and would make me super reluctant to sleep with someone new - the idea of them sleeping with other people at the same time as me makes me queasy. How do you build proper romantic bonds with just one of many?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 12:23 PM
2

Makes life a lot easier than the constant ‘are we/aren’t we’ I see discussed on reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 12:05 PM
1

What? Sorry, I don’t understand the relevance of your comment to what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 12:04 PM
1

I agree about repressed women going wild. Equally, feminism keeps telling us we can sleep around with no consequences and it’s great! However my experience is that most women I know are happy to have the opportunity and would defend a woman’s right to, but aren’t interested themselves...
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 12:00 PM
1

You’re totally right that sometimes people don’t want to get serious due to unsettled circumstances. The only one of my friends that has had an fwb did so on a four month lab placement abroad. However, IME it isn’t preferable to an LTR (or dating with a view to) in most cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 11:58 AM
1

You’re right, he probably is. Just as someone who was very close to him and loved him as he was, it was very sad to see the change and he wasn’t a pleasant person afterwards. But I suppose he prioritised getting laid over his friendships, and if he’s happy then good luck to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 11:55 AM
2

This is really well said. A confident, decent woman doesn’t want to date a doormat or a chameleon - she wants a confident, decent guy. The good thing about TRP is it builds confidence in these guys - the bad thing is it kills the decent part IME.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 11:51 AM
2

Fun all the way. I actually did briefly date a solid 9/10 but he was so dull I just couldn’t do it - he only wanted to talk about his job in finance and flash car. My own OH is a 10/10 to me, but I know he’s objectively not as physically attractive as the other guy (more than a 5 though), but he’s brilliant fun, a lovely person and we have a lot of chemistry - knew straight away I wanted to LTR him. I’m 26/F/Blue side of purple.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 11:49 AM
1

Exactly! You’re either dating and assumed monogamous or you’re just sleeping with them casually or fwb style - but it’s really obvious which it is by how you meet and whether you date or just hook up.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 11:41 AM
1

Yeah. For some people, the need to be right is so strong that even when they clearly see they are wrong they won’t change strategy - it looks like admitting defeat. But what a waste of time and energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 11:38 AM
1

Maybe I would. And tbh, if it does help guys get what they’re looking for and doesn’t lead to horrible attitudes to women, then fair play to them. I do actually quite feel for guys who can’t find companionship. They have it worse than single women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 08:28 AM
1

... to what?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 08:27 AM
1

This is true. However, if the aim was an LTR with a decent woman, TRP/PUA stuff isn’t going to be that helpful as it’s selecting for a different kind of woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 06:43 AM
3

But not all women are like that. My OH isn’t fit, and is quite good looking but looks very young for his age (he was still getting ID’d when I first met him which was quite funny), but I realised pretty quickly what a decent, straightforward and genuinely lovely guy he is, and it was so refreshing after dealing with exhausting dating games and players that I LTR’d him double quick. Years later he’s still the most decent person I know and I count myself lucky every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 06:41 AM
1

Whilst it’s always a possibility, I highly, highly doubt it - my friends and I are very open and share everything. I know far worse things than a bit of casual sex - it just isn’t really on anyone’s priority list.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 06:36 AM
2

It’s not common here in the U.K. to have an exclusivity talk IME - the assumption is that after a date or two it is, unless you say you aren’t. But then the majority of relationships do start via friends. I suppose my OH and I met onTinder though andwe never had a conversation about it... it was just kind of obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 08:35 PM
3

I stopped being friends with him, so I don’t know how it went after, but he did start having the odd casual sexual encounter when before he’d been in a string of relationships. IMO the girls weren’t any better looking, but if the aim was casual over relationship then he did better out of it. Just lost a lot of his social circle along with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 05:18 PM
2

True. But then, why have a fwb when you could have a committed partner? Its a weird halfway house.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 05:12 PM
7

Pretty much every woman will do casual sex for the right guy. Maybe my entire social circle and I are abnormal then, but the idea of getting intimate without the intimacy is kind of gross. If I just wanted to get off, I could do better myself than a stranger could, after all... and without the intimacy it's not much more than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 04:22 PM
6

In my opinion, it does a really great job of describing how the majority of the women who are engaging in hookup culture act. And that is their target anyway. Which basically agrees with my point above - it selects for that type of woman completely. Are you implying that you are here in part to save the men, not women? To be honest, I only heard of TRP through a very good friend of mine who got into this stuff. I watched it change him from a really lovely, fun guy into a bitter, cynical arsehole…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 04:15 PM
2

in my mind, You weren't listening and you don't care That's an interesting perspective. There's definitely a difference between coming to someone with a problem and venting, though, I think that's an important distinction.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 04:02 PM
8

Well, IME it very much is. Most of the women I know in this category don't do casual sex at all, which immediately puts them in the 'next' pile for TRP guidance. It's not hard for a reasonably good looking, educated, confident woman to find a good guy, so most of these women end up in LTRs fairly early on, and none of the ones I know would be interested in a guy they met on the bar/club scene. Equally, if you have self-respect you don't end up a plate - you 'next' when a guy starts looking like …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 04:00 PM
3

Maybe don't jump into bed with people without learning more about them. I mean, I don't. But still, you can only be so untrusting, and ultimately the liar is the bad guy, not the one who fell for it. Edit: I wanted to address this: People find the lie more attractive than the truth. If the lie is that you're way cooler or higher status or whatever than you are, that isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about blatant lies like the relationship being exclusive - that sort of thing is really u…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 03:55 PM
6

Enough women are like that for those strategies to work though. There are 3.7 billion women in the world - there are plenty of pretty much every type. However, the type of woman described by TRP as ubiquitous isn't even in the majority IME - I can name the number of 'trash sluts' I know on one hand. Why would you care if it only works on trash sluts? I feel more for the guys, actually (although a bit for the naieve girls whose first foray into sexual relationships was such a burn). It can turn r…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 03:54 PM
2

Masculine != all men Yes, totally true. I know we tend to deal in generalisations here in PPD. But I always think it's worth bringing up different experiences! You know, I don't even know what the response that goes here even is. That's how odd this entire exchange is to me. Normally, my OH just wants a cuddle and to be told that that sucks, even if it's super long winded. Very occasionally he wants my advice, but often doesn't take it - I think he just likes the different perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 03:43 PM
3

OMG yes you should be honest if they ask. It's one thing omitting telling someone if they don't ask, but lying to someone to get sex on false grounds? That's really gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 03:39 PM
2

It's really, really location dependent. In the UK, it's expected after a few dates that you're exclusive unless you say otherwise (as usually before you sleep together), but I've heard a lot of big US cities see dating multiple people as the norm. If I found out the person I was seeing was seeing other people, that would be the end of it. I've never looked for casual, and that strikes me as the opposite of being serious. Plus, just ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 03:34 PM
12

It's the attitude more than anything else. A lot of TRP, including much of the PUA game stuff, just comes across really misogynistic. No, not all women are like that! I also think it's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. These guys get into TRP moaning they can't get a good woman, and then engage in behaviours that sensible, confident and decent women don't respond to, further targeting the type of woman they believe represents us all. The only part I actually see as completely unethical is lyi…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 03:32 PM
3

Yeah, I agree. Most of the guys I dated were much more quick to want the girlfriend-boyfriend thing than I was, and it's normally obvious really early on if the guy isn't looking for a serious relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 03:23 PM
2

This is really interesting to read, because my OH will come and talk to me about problems he's having at work or with his family or whatever, and very much uses that communication to get things off his chest. I know guys do this much less than women do, but there are definitely guys who like this aspect of being in a relationship and having someone to vent to or confide in.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/18 03:21 PM
2

Yeah, definitely. In fact, have done. Personally, I'm not a size queen either, and a huge dick would be really painful for me! Average is plenty.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/18 04:49 PM
8

And that’s exactly why women like me won’t have sex before the fourth or fifth at the earliest. It weeds out guys with these sorts of attitudes and ensures you have time to get to know the guy too, which makes the sex better IMO. It also helped keep my N count low, rather than notching the bedpost with every guy I went on a couple of dates with.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/18 12:10 PM
1

Well, good thing people are all different and can want to do different things with their lives, eh?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/18 06:52 AM
1

Suicide because you feel perpetually rejected, guilty, frustrated in your relationship and trapped with no where to go. When someone is prone to depression, something like this can tip them over the edge. Having had to pick my sister up off the floor after a suicide attempt when she felt trapped and unable to escape a bad (but not abusive) relationship, I’m incredibly wary of making anyone feel trapped in a hopeless situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 05:15 PM
1

Sorry, other half!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 06:59 AM
1

Honestly? I don’t want to risk being stuck in that situation. Being a SAHM would be my absolute hell, so I’m absolutely not going to risk getting stuck at home with the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/18 06:59 AM
5

At different points, my OH and I have both felt our libido dip. Usually it’s related to long hours, work stress and lack of down time. We told each other how we were feeling, and the knock on effects. Then the other partner helped solve it - took on a bit more of the housework load or planned some actual downtime. We’ve never ended up in a dead bedroom partially because a change in the ‘normal’ is enquired about and the other partner helps rectify it as best as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/18 05:37 PM
3

But what about the children? Sorry, but that's not an excuse for being miserable. Kids cope - my OH's parents split, and he said life was so much better for him too once they were both happy. Can’t they get marriage counseling? Sure, but if she isn't taking on board his problems when he's brought them up and is acting like all is perfect, then that's a major problem that counselling may well not fix. he could stick it out another 15 years or so till the kids are grown and then leave her. Like th…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/18 04:34 PM
6

It all comes down to whether she knows how this is affecting him. If he's never told her how much he's struggling without sex, despite everything else being good, then he really needs to. Imagine not telling your partner what is upsetting you to the point of leaving them without ever bringing it up as a problem? If he has, and nothing is changing, then he needs to leave her. He sounds absolutely miserable, and no matter how nice someone is, that's not a good or healthy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/18 03:07 PM
1

Mine is! He sings and plays guitar, and always gets a lot of attention because he's really good looking, but I still only go to maybe 1 in 4 or 5 gigs (the big ones) because if I went to them all I'd have no life of my own...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/18 02:31 PM
1

Do you know that there is a huge electronic scene where people go out purely for the music? There's a brit pop/2000's pop-punk club near us that is one of my favourite places to go - the drink is always cheap, the music great, and the guys are more interested in moshing than trying to hit on you. All of the girls in my friend group are in LTRs or married, but we LOVE going out and dancing to music we love and getting drunk - it's second only to karaoke. Sometimes the guys come, sometimes they do…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/18 02:24 PM
1

What you gonna do all day when the kids are at school? Not even that (although that would be hell too) - spending all day every day with under fives without intelligent adult socialisation would drive me mad.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/18 11:02 AM
5

It’s not the money - I love my job, and if I took a career break like that I’d never get back into it. It’s too competitive and being out of the field for any real amount of time would end my career. And beings SAHM without the mental stimulation my job gives me would be my idea of hell, tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/18 06:07 AM
1

I guess it’s scary enough making such a big change in your life as it is - and seeing how other women have struggled in my field hasn’t given me a lot of confidence. But we’re still going to do our best!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/18 10:50 PM
2

It works for us and keeps us both sane. Don’t get me wrong, we both love hiking and regularly bag Munro’s, and we like to travel and go to gigs and stuff. We don’t just watch crap TV. But after we’re both done putting in lots of hours of thinking every week, there’s something really relaxing about just letting your brain veg out.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/18 10:48 PM
2

So much this. My OH has a graduate degree (top of his class) and works designing and troubleshooting high voltage electrical systems, and I have two master's degrees and working on my PhD in neuroscience and genetics. We barely ever get into any details about our work because at the end of the day it's work. We both use our brains all day every day, and we just want to chill out and enjoy each other's company when we get home, not feel we're still working. If I want intellectual chitchat, I can …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/18 06:52 PM
3

I don't know. There will always be some industries that can't be flexible with working mothers/fathers in the same way, and I know women that have been able to go part time only to suddenly have all the interesting work taken off them and handed to full time colleagues. And once that starts happening, it becomes a job rather than a career and just isn't the same. Even childcare support only goes so far. You still have to be able to cover when a childminder is sick, or your child gets sent home i…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/18 06:30 PM
4

This makes sense to me. I'm one of the women the study describes - postgraduate educated, working in a tough career - and I can't see how I'm supposed to juggle having a child. There's plenty of mat leave, but it's the lack of flexibility later on that makes it impossible. Kid gets sick and you need to take them home from school. You need to work late but have a kid to pick up. Trying to keep on top of the housework on top of work and spending time with your kid. I'm actually quite scared, becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/18 06:07 PM
1

My OH is my best friend, and we both get on well enough with each other’s guy/girl friends enough that we can tag along and not change the group dynamic. Politics wise, we are opposite sides of centre (albeit in the U.K. so in US standards he’s a standard democrat and I’m a raging commie) and whilst I’m quite politically motivated he’s not. But it doesn’t interfere with our relationship. I’m quite unusual in that I’m quite a ‘masculine’ girl - my OH is more feelings-oriented than me, more into k…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/18 05:18 AM
2

If the trigger is relationships with the opposite gender then, yeah, I do. I don’t agree with RP, but equally it’s not a tenet of RP to be a paranoid psycho.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/18 07:03 AM
6

The 2nd point, to me seems just paranoia. Planes are capable of crashing, do TRPers not ride planes? I'm not a TRPer, and do fly, but doesn't stop me counting the rows to my nearest exit, keeping the lid on any hot drinks and always requesting an aisle seat when I do. Minimising potential damages is sensible as long as it doesn't interfere with living your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/18 11:36 PM
4

Ok, so this was me. I was always quite pretty, but have Asperger’s and really struggled socially. Do they struggle to make friends? I actually didn’t. I had one best friend and a raft of more superficial friendships - but just because you’re accepted enough to tag along with a group doesn’t mean you’re actually friends or safe from getting picked on by the group. Guys are much easier to be friends with than girls as it’s less of a minefield. But what is really hard is getting out of an unhealthy…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/18 08:25 PM
8

I agree with you - I’m way more inhibited with a new partner (albeit I’ve never had a ONS). For me, it takes getting to know one another and our bodies for the sex to start getting really good - until then, I’m too worried about how I look and whether they’re enjoying themselves to actually relax and enjoy it myself!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/18 11:21 AM
3

I've never been in a relationship with a woman where it was acceptable to tell her, during a confrontation, that she was in the wrong, if indeed she was. My partner and I tell each other we’re wrong all the time, particularly during fights! If your partner can’t, who else can?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/18 12:31 PM
1

I guess we just have different experiences. Obviously do. Personally I was more bored by the UC set, but different strokes for different folks.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/18 01:03 PM
1

I am saying the MC/UMC wish they were aristocrats and do a bad job at trying to copy them, or at least imitate their stereotypes. I don't agree with this, either. Other than spending money, which isn't a stereotype of the UC anyway, I can't identify anything UMC do to try and portray themselves as UC. I know it's a bit different in the US as class is more linked to money and thus something to aspire to, and the UMC here definitely likes to earn and spend money, but comparing to the UC is a diffe…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/18 12:53 PM
2

To be fair though the regular old middle classes in the UK just act like wannabe aristocrats As a Brit who grew up UMC but has socialised quite a bit with landed gentry over the years - no, they really don't. There's a bigger culture gap than you would think between highly paid educated professionals and aristocrats.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/18 12:21 PM
1

I stand by the fact it’s a terrible sign of insecurity, and personally I’d rather be with a bald guy. At my age (turning 27) balding isn’t the end of attractiveness the way it might be for an 18-22 year old. Personally I think it shows a fixation on physical looks that I don’t want in a long term partner. People get old and less attractive. It happens. If I’m going to have kids my own body will never be the same. Going to those lengths just smacks of insecurity and expectation that I wouldn’t wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/18 06:48 AM
1

Me too. My OH's hairline is starting to recede, and whilst he's naturally not thrilled by that, his plan is just to shave the lot off once it hits the point of looking really obvious. He'd rather be fully bald on his own terms. If he was freaking out about it and wanting a surgical procedure for something cosmetic like this, I would definitely be asking what the problem really was. I would find it as much a sign of insecurity as a woman feeling she needs breast enlargement to be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/18 12:54 PM
9

I honestly can’t believe I am. I know too many great men and women to think as badly of either as the internet seems to regularly imply.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/18 07:22 PM
20

being told the solution is to date down. It just makes my skin crawl that the idea of dating someone less formally educated is dating down. It's so snobby. I did my undergrad at what was the top ranked university in the world (is always top 5), have two master's degrees from world ranking research universities and am now studying for my doctorate. I've done the formal education thing. My OH got a practical degree from a technical college, and whilst he did really well in it, he's dyslexic and is…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/18 05:20 PM
3

You literally said: Men don't want to be raped In reply to a post saying that men also have rape fantasies. That's a huge implication that women want to be raped, mate. it FEELS dangerous, but it isn't, because it's being controlled and is designed with safety in mind This is a huge component of a ton of kinks - choking, tying people up, blindfolding them etc etc. None of them are specific to gender, guys just get a harder time if they express those preferences (which is shit). Dominatrixes exis…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 03:57 PM
1

Statistics show that the pipeline leak starts at postdoc level (EU she figures) This varies HUGELY by country, Portugal has shared figures with very close to equal numbers of women in academia at all levels below the executive. The UK has published projections showing majority women in the whole of academia by 2020. The big inequality in many EU countries is at the level of chairs and higher, not lecturer/reader level. I'm interested in knowing how you decided that it's not true though. Do you r…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 03:53 PM
5

Men don't want to be raped. Neither do women! A rape fantasy is very different from actually wanting to be raped - in a fantasy/role-play scenario, you still have control and are attracted to the person you're having sex with. And plenty of men have the fantasy of being pinned down and ravished by a good looking woman - I know a few personally - where most women equally don't have rape fantasies.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 03:36 PM
7

Not true. I've worked in multiple university research labs (and do currently), and outside of a few departments such as engineering and IT, the PhD students and postdocs are all majority women nowadays. Even the junior lecturers etc are more and more women. It's working it's way up - it just takes time to have enough qualified women to begin to equalise in each stratum. Edit: I'm in an analytical chemistry lab btw, not a traditionally female dominated subject either, and there's only three guys …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 02:43 PM
1

the most important thing though is to screen out all girls that are not dtf. I agree with you. However, this doesn't make me wrong - the point of this post, and OP's parameters, were girls who felt 'used for sex', and the overlap in the Venn diagram of dtf girls and girls who feel used by sex is pretty small. I completely agree that if you're looking for casual sex, your method is good - and it weeds out the girls who are going to get hurt over it. The best method for everyone. However, as I sai…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/18 08:20 AM
2

No offense, but when we think about how so many guys are wining and dating women and spending good money on that - would that woman figure out that they aren't exactly dating, if she has sex with him without any notion of romance, of courtship?? Ok, I'm not quite sure what you're asking here. If a woman sleeps with a man without thinking they're dating do you mean? In that case, if she's aware there's no potential relationship there, then fair play to them both. It does happen. Bu be wary of thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 10:03 PM
3

Settled for Mr. Good enough, not for Mr. Take my Breathe Away. Not in the slightest. A guy can be both very attractive and a great partner, it doesn't have to be one or the other. So many lost opportunities those boyfriends gave up, to be with someone. Some say opportunities lost, others say things gained. It's pretty awesome to have a best friend and awesome regular sex rolled up into one. Why didn't you find him to be attractive when you first met him? As I said, he was quite shy, and also I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 09:36 PM
1

I haven’t - and neither have any of the girls in my friendship group. We all settled down with one of the few serious relationships we’d had by the time we were 24-25. I know of one or two girls who were out happily having casual sex, but the vast majority of my acquaintances/wider social circle just didn’t. We are all well educated, UMC types, so I know that isn’t representative of the entire western world by any means, but in our demographic it’s the norm. Obviously I think my OH is very attra…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 06:46 PM
3

So only women with high sex drives are going to want casual sex? Not necessarily. I have a really high sex drive (my poor OH can't keep up), yet have never had sex outside of a committed relationship. The idea repulses me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 05:39 PM
4

Then what is the point of women having casual sex? she doesn't think it's casual sex. She thinks there is a potential relationship being built. And, as the OP says, the case we are discussing isn't two parties both aware that the situation is sex only, which can happen obviously. I dunno. I never had that problem. Ok, but the overriding evidence shows women aren't nearly as physically satisfied by casual sex as sex in a relationship, so this isn't typical. Then what is all this trouble for if wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 05:24 PM
8

Do most guys women have casual sex with do this, do they put effort into making the woman enjoy it??? The answer is no. Why should they? They will probably not see her again, and if she doesn't complain (as most women don't with a new partner), why is he going to think twice about it? Why is it that everyone says the female body is harder to figure out than a waiter trying to understand how a spaceshuttle is built and how it works? Maybe because there is no 'the female body'. Completely differen…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 03:23 PM
13

They got sex But for a lot of women, the value in that sex is linked intrinsically to the emotional and intimate aspect of it, not just getting off (which with a new partner often can't do anyway). So the realisation you've been used removes all the value of emotional intimacy from the equation - they lose the whole point of having had sex. You can't compare that to being a man and being lead on It's very close to an exact equivalence - they've been led on to think they are gaining intimacy, whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 01:47 PM
2

Oh totally. Even nightclubs - there is one in my city that is really grimy and pure pickup, and one where everyone is just dancing and barely hitting on anyone. The different music attracts different crowds and perpetuates these differences!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/18 01:37 PM
3

Have done, yeah, if we’ve started chatting and they seem nice - just add another drink onto my round and get him/her one too. It’s part of how you meet people... I wouldn’t send a drink over to someone I’ve never spoken to, or sidle up to someone asking if they wanted a drink as an opener, but I’ve definitely bought drinks for someone I’ve met only that night in the pub. Edit: I type like a drunk person.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/18 07:23 PM
3

Ok, but this post mixes discussion of bars and clubs. The same rules don’t always apply is my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/18 05:49 PM
3

Different cultures, man, different cultures... This. I think like ¾ of the posts on here where posters question why/do people do x thing they're read about on Reddit can be answered by different cultures, even within the same country... dating etiquette (as any other) varies hugely.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/18 04:23 PM
6

As someone who is ignored by most men, if one is paying attention to me enough to spend $20+ on alcohol, I know that he has ulterior motives and isn't just doing it to be nice or make a platonic friend. Where I'm from, in Scotland, it's super common to buy anyone you know who happens to walk into the pub a drink. If I go out with friends and we meet friends of theirs I don't know, the chances are we'll all buy each other drinks at some point over an evening. So yeah, a drink isn't necessarily an…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/18 04:01 PM
2

I feel like 0.2% of a sex would be disappointing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/18 09:59 PM
2

Your post is great but I think reads the post you replied to wrong: I don't doubt As in, he believes it does have something to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 10:49 AM
2

I completely agree, there are always exceptions. The situation is important. And fair play to hard no’s - we all have them!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 07:59 AM
5

Two of my good friends dates for years, then suddenly broke up. Turned out they had realised that they weren’t in love any more and hadn’t been for some time, and really were better suited as friends. They’re not besties, but are still reasonably close friends several years on, and both completely over it - I always took it as a sign that maybe they had never been all that in love with each other to start with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/18 09:16 PM
2

At this point in my relationship (several years in), finding out any of these things would mean he’s lied to me, and that in itself is a deal breaker to me. Speaking more hypothetically, I wouldn’t date someone who had done sex work, had gay sex (put it where you want, just don’t expect to put it in me after), had a high n count or had cheated on partner at any point. Aside from sex/relationships stuff, also would nix anyone who was rude to wait staff, chauvinistic, expected me to be a SAHM or w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/18 09:09 PM
2

Lawful neutral, blueish-purple pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 08:15 AM
1

I have a thing for blue eyes, like a guy my height or taller, and prefer a pretty guy over a grungy one. I don’t date anyone who looks dirty, although my best friend loves that type. Picking a celeb who is ‘my type’, probably Chris Pine or something if that ilk. Thinking about it, the only guys I’ve dated/slept with have been blue eyed, blonde and 5’9-6’, but I’ve definitely been attracted to guys outside my type who are charming and I’ve clicked with personality wise.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/18 08:03 AM
2

Meh, took me and my boyfriend two years to update our status on Facebook - we both think it’s absolutely cringey seeing people change theirs back to single when they break up, and anyone that knew us knew we were together (and there were plenty of pics of us together on our pages too). Not every detail of our lives needs to be online. We eventually updated it because we were bored one day and remembered we had never done it. Also, I’ve certainly never used FB as a dating site. I only friend peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/18 01:35 PM
1

This is a very good point. I must say I can only handle PODin small doses, as I find it pretty bleak sometimes. However I am a strong egalitarian, and learning more about men’s issues has been a really useful experience for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/18 07:49 AM
2

So glad to have read this - was starting to lose faith in humanity reading this thread! I’ve also had great relationship role models in my large family (mum one of six, dad one of four, all bar one married happily with kids and only one divorced), with a variety of relationship dynamics on display. I learned early on, by demonstration, what a good relationship looked like, and whilst mine isn’t really particularly similar to my parents’ at all it definitely influenced me in how I went about choo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 11:23 PM
2

Personally couldn’t do it, but blooming heck you must be some couple!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 08:18 PM
6

That was actually really interesting. Spotted mine straight away - LHL all the way, and both very happy with it. Women with low dominance tolerance will often look at women with high tolerance and think that their relationships are abusive This is very true. Women like me, that absolutely can't stand being bossed and are quite argumentative and independent, have to continually remind themselves that people are different and that (arguably) the majority of women prefer a guy who is more dominant …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/18 03:47 PM
1

I usually see it on r/relationships as a way to help people stop being doormats to manipulative family members. Not to stop debating on a debate sub... it surprised me too tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/18 08:22 AM
1

If someone saying "I lived this pattern" and countered with "I didn't nor did anyone around me therefore your pattern is wrong" isn't productive I 100% agree - but my experience is being told I am wrong for claiming I’ve had great relationships and relationship role models, and so have my friend group. I very much agree RP patterns exist, I just don’t agree at all with painting them as the best let alone only way of interacting with the opposite sex. RP would also argue the good ones have some r…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/18 03:16 PM
3

You know, my biggest problem with RP isn’t what it comes up with - the patterns, as you say, are real and recognisable for most people. What they aren’t is representative of all (I’d argue even a majority) of relationship, and certainly not the good ones, which RP seems to think don’t exist. I actually don’t think the scenarios RP puts forward are nonsense (although plate spinning, dread game etc I do think are manipulative and childish in the same way the behaviours RP complains about in women …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/18 02:22 PM
1

Iirc it’s justify, argue, defend, explain? It’s a mantra for maintaining boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/18 02:18 PM
4

I hate to say it, but sounds like you need parenting tips. The type of shit parents pull on teenagers who won’t pull their weight - refuse to do any chores for them, don’t cook for them, don’t do their laundry, don’t do anything that makes life easier for them until they figure out that they need to pull their weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/18 02:17 PM
2

And why would any sane person ever allow their partner to stay at home when they know it'd cost them if they chose to divorce? Then it comes down to either never giving up anything for a partner, or who has more to lose. Which is usually the one giving up their independence. That's down for the couple to decide whether they're married or not... Except that, if married, they're deemed to have both contributed equally to the entire partnership and it's split equally, unless they agree otherwise. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/18 01:56 PM
3

Whether you're married or not, you're placing trust in your partner by making such decisions. Yes, true. However, why would any sane person ever stay home to look after the kids and save the partnership money if you knew the earning partner could walk at any time and leave you unable to earn? You'd be better both losing 10k a year than facing a divorce where you can only earn minimum wage afterwards. You have to write a will to decide inheritance anyway, marriage does not do this automatically. …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/18 12:37 PM
4

Cohabitation works just fine without contracts and rituals. It works fine until the partnership is faced with decisions where one partner has to give things up in favour of the other. One partner gets a job far away and the other has to give up theirs to follow? (Particularly relevant to regular movers like military). One partner gives up work to care for kids? One partner gets sick/disabled, and the other partner cares for them? One partner dies or is unexpected hospitalised and the other wants…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/18 12:19 PM
1

That would be my guess, but I don't know the actual data trends.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/18 12:03 PM
9

I suppose it’s anecdotes versus data? The studies have mainly suggested thirties from what I’ve seen. Personally, I was way too insecure and lacking confidence in myself at 18 to be nearly as sexual as I am almost ten years later. On the other hand, my OH probably has a lot less energy for it than he did as an 18 year old!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/18 11:35 AM
2

We have a significantly lower divorce rate, I remember reading about it previously - but I have no clue about anything else. It’s very possibly similar, but worth noting in case it isn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/18 08:42 AM
3

But as there are roughly 160 million women in this country It may or may not be relevant that I'm not from the US. However the majority of college educated women find a man when they are in their early to mid-20’s and settle down with him I agree with this. And I do actually think that more marriages are happy than our parents generation, if only because so many young people don't want to meet the same fate - hence taking longer to get around to marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/18 11:28 PM
3

And yet the big complaint on here is women at college riding the CC. So there’s some level of cognitive dissonance if both explanations are being put forward at once.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/18 08:01 PM
11

Exactly. I think the divorce stats scare everyone a bit, so you date for a few years then live together and then have a long engagement whilst saving up, where our parents got married within a few years of meeting. My mum met my dad at 20, got married at 26, and she says she had a really long relationship prior to marriage compared to her peers. Now, I’d say she was in the norm if not quite quick.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/18 11:00 AM
1

My OH is an electrical engineer - works with UPSs. He’s awesome, and his colleagues are cool too - I’ve gone out drinking with them, gone to gigs with them, and am going waterskiing with his best work friend and his wife next month. Equally, my home city is a major oil and gas hub, so the place is full of engineers, and they’re just people, not a stereotype of nerdy and socially awkward guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/18 10:58 AM
1

Those men are often boring nerdy engineer types who only provide security rather than fun. Engineer types can be great fun and really awesome. We used to hang around with the guys from engineering when I was at uni and they were some of the hardest partners I knew, and absolutely hilarious. My OH is also an engineer, and I’ve never tried so many new things and been so many new places as I have since he’s been on the scene and pushing me to just go for it. It’s nothing to do with being an enginee…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/18 10:27 AM
24

This. I’m 26, turning 27 later this year, and almost all of my group of friends are paired up and have been for at least the last 3-4 years - some are married, a few engaged, and lots of us talking about it, and it’s to guys we met either at uni or in the two or three years immediately after. There is only one of my female friends who isn’t paired up, and she’s both a doctor (ie very little time for dating) and also very religious. Four of the five of us who are, are married/engaged/living with …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/18 10:19 AM
1

But you just admitted that making yourself emotionally vulnerable for a person is a cause of feeling heartbreak after pump and dump. Yes. But not everybody feels like that - sometimes it’s women doing the pumping and dumping. Or there was no expectation of anything more in the first place. Well, my experience is very different. Most of the people I know who engage about casual sex are very healthy about it, a few notable exceptions aside who would fit your description very well.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 08:52 PM
1

I think it’s obvious sex is part of it, but it’s not the linchpin, as I’ve already said. And that description doesn’t ring true for me - I know too many people who are happy sleeping around whilst casually searching for a partner - enjoying the sex and seeing whether there’s anything else there but not seriously. My best friend is a classic example. I really don’t think you need to be emotionally unavailable to have casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 06:57 PM
1

They are building mental barriers so they don't get attached to the woman through sex. Women who engage in casual sex do the same thing. I genuinely don't believe this is universal. I know too many men and women in real life who are perfectly happy having casual sex in between relationships, and aren't putting up emotional barriers to do so. However I would agree that you would be right in a large number of cases. If it was 100% emotion, women would feel the same way without sex involved. And a …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 05:50 PM
1

Why would you claim it has to be one or the other? I didn't - I said it isn't directly linked to getting attached. Which we can see from the number of people who can have casual sex without catching feels, and who use it to detach as you say (much better wording than mine, thank you). What I was pointing out through this comment thread was the fact that it isn't, as it's claimed above in this chain, the case that a virgin will bond through sex and suffer worse than someone who is more sexually e…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 05:42 PM
1

I think any level of physical intimacy causes humans to emotionally bond. Plenty of women like to develop a level of emotional intimacy before real physical intimacy - I do think emotions have a lot more to play on the female side than you're allowing for. Female sluts play similar mental games to keep themselves emotionally closed off when slutting it up. I think, if we look at women who go through a slut phase after a breakup, the whole point is blocking off the emotion, and trying to remove t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 05:20 PM
1

It's relative though. I remember as a teenager breaking up with my first boyfriend, who I never slept with, and then kissing a whole bunch of random guys in clubs on nights out after it because I was really hurt. It's the same thing, but no sex. Therefore, it seems to me that sex isn't the linchpin.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 04:56 PM
1

Rebounding into a slut phase is a way of getting over someone because there is emotional attachments to the act of sex. Or because they were in a relationship with that person. It’s not necessarily the act of sex that causes it, it’s the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 03:15 PM
8

This. I’m high libido (higher than my OH!) and yet I went on a four-year dry spell when I was last single as the idea of casual sex repulsed me. I’d rather be having sex, but I’d rather no sex than a bad experience - and a bad experience can be either physically or mentally (and often the two are linked!).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/18 08:48 PM
1

You don’t even have to ask what they like. Just be aware of when she gets more into it excited - that’s a big tip off. You can be dominant during sex and still have your partner’s pleasure in mind and learn from how she reacts to things.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 04:34 PM
14

Dominance and willingness to learn and please aren't mutually exclusive...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 01:55 PM
2

Lord Byron was pretty damn impactful too.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/18 09:14 PM
6

Osteoporosis and neurodegenerative disease. That’s what scares me about aging. I must say that normal signs of aging like wrinkles and saggy boobs and grey hair are just signs of having lived a life. No point worrying about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/18 09:10 PM
3

No, it repeats itself by you not noticing the additional small increment of gain, by minimising the small gain when you notice it, and by not changing anything in between so that it keeps snowballing. Especially when you use food as a comfort. You feel shit about yourself, then want to eat to feel better, then hate yourself for eating.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 08:39 AM
6

Gaining 7 pounds is really easy. You almost don't notice it tbh, until you try new jeans in the same size that aren't broken in and it's a squeeze. You adjust to the new normal. It's just 7 pounds, nothing really. Then the next 7 sneaks on, and the cycle continues. When you start to think you should really lose weight, it proves difficult and it demoralises you, and then the self-hatred starts. Losing weight is hard when you hate yourself. When you're 200 pounds, losing 7 doesn't feel like a vic…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 01:18 AM
4

Divorce isn't the same as being unfaithful in a marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/18 09:01 PM
9

I have to say I agree. I've gained about two stone (28 pounds) since meeting my OH. It took me over a year to gain that, and that was after a nasty accident putting me in hospital for a number of weeks and going through the long phases of wheelchair and crutches before getting back on my feet. I was very sporty before, and particularly when feeling so utterly devastated I found controlling what I ate really hard, and the weight (particularly with my medication and the fact I've not yet, despite …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/18 08:57 PM
1

I just don't agree with it because it is not congruent with my experience. Fair enough. Experiences can be very different, after all. However, in my experience, it's a very fair warning for guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/18 10:15 PM
3

That isn't the same as not having any evidence to prosecute - if the prosecution has no evidence, thee's no trial, and if you haven't harassed anyone then there is no evidence. You're, quite frankly, being hyperbolic and fear-mongering. This is like me saying that US cops like to shoot people, so better not approach women or you'll get shot.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/18 10:08 PM
1

... did you not read what I said? You immediately put women on the defensive, and give yourself far more work. That’s the definition of hard mode.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/18 09:24 PM
1

I don’t think it is bad advice. Different people are different - some women don’t like being cold approached, some men don’t like doing it - there are other ways to meet people, it isn’t necessary. Getting out of our comfort zones is important, but for some people that is approaching at all. I’m deadly afraid of heights - I do a lot of hillwalking and scrambling, but climbing is a hard line. The same will be for some guys. Having the information that this strategy is hard mode is worth knowing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/18 08:19 PM
1

It comes from the belief that attractive women are a scarce resource I don’t think it’s just this, it’s also fear of rejection (and inevitably frustration and loss of confidence when this becomes regular). That’s why I make a point of warning guys about it. With your attitude, definitely do it! It’s water off a ducks back if you get rejected, and then you can only gain by doing it. But for the guys that take it personally or lose confidence easily - it’s not the best way to approach women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/18 07:08 PM
6

And yet she needs evidence - it wouldn’t even get to court if there was no evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/18 06:36 PM
3

a big risk, I mean what if they are meanies and dont like me Cold approaches are a high risk sexual strategy, not a risk to your life and health. I’d have thought that was obvious. I’m in the U.K., and quite frankly most girls getting approached when not expecting it (in non-social situations) are going to be on the defensive as it isn’t normal. The last time I visited the US i was so uncomfortable by how forward guys were, and I didn’t like it at all - and you’re right it’s definitely cultural.…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/18 06:34 PM
8

I’ve actually reacted worse to attractive guys approaching me at a bad time than less attractive guys. I remember once an absolute stunning guy approaching me when I had popped into the supermarket after being at the stables - I was in riding clothes, had bit of hay in my hair (which was sweaty and gross from my riding hat) and smelt strongly of horse shit. I was t expecting it, was knackered and sore and in need of ice cream, and I absolutely panicked and was probably quite harsh. I wouldn’t ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/18 05:35 PM
6

Misogyny and approaching women are very different things. UK here, lived in Nottingham a few years ago, and no - approaching women is not a crime, unless you are spewing hate if you get rejected, following them home or sexually assaulting them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/18 05:29 PM
1

And yet it isn’t peer-reviewed. This is a good 2018 review of scientific literature. And we have nothing shown to actually be more effective than BMI. This also shows that, as I said, the biggest problem is underrepresentation in various situations rather than fit people.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/18 07:37 AM
1

That contradicts every study I’ve ever read into BMI, which suggests BMI tends to underestimate body fat in all but outliers. The big concern with BMI as a health professional is tall people being overweight but not a BMI of 25 or over - that’s when it doesn’t work as a screening test, and the way the formula works there is more variation of weight in each band at taller heights. I meet very few people (even on my OH’s amateur rugby team and my martial arts club) who are overweight by BMI and no…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/18 10:53 PM
1

Anyone that does regular weight training Not true. Only highly muscled and very low body fat people (generally high level athletes, or incredibly fit people) see this actually tell them they are overweight when not, and these people usually have a health professional who knows BMI isn’t an effective weight indicator for them. Excess waist to hip ratio is a different measurement, but as it doesn’t have levels that indicate being overweight or obese, just scientific models of direct variation with…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/18 09:44 PM
1

It’s actually not poor - it’s only in bodybuilders and other extreme cases that BMI isn’t a pretty good indicator of weight health.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/18 09:12 PM
12

No, that would be average. No, it’s median. The median is the central data point of a population. I get your post, but SkookumTree is right that the median literally is the middle data point, and not prone to data skew the way the mean is (nonparametric vs parametric averages).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/18 09:10 PM
2

Quite.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/18 05:06 PM
3

Yeah, being good looking let’s you away with more. Definitely true. However 50 shades was awful. I was buzzing for a good kink read and then that happened and it was so disappointing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/18 01:53 PM
2

I actually agree. I think it's way more important to teach guys to take rejection (and understand that rejection from a casual approach can often be less about him than the circumstances) than teach them to look for indications of interest that may or may not exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/18 11:04 AM
4

Exactly this - I used to get so much persistent harassment by certain regulars as a barmaid because they couldn't seem to understand that just because I was still smiling at them didn't invalidate my 'no'.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/18 09:21 AM
10

Some are. Obviously. It's a pretty broad church. But it isn't basic and widely held feminist theory that guys should never approach girls. A lot of feminists do argue that women shouldn't be approached when at work - waitresses and barmaids in particular get a lot of harassment and often are not very receptive because of it so it's lose-lose. But that's slightly different.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/18 09:14 AM
1

That's a better way of phrasing it than mine, thank you! What could change my mind about what? The self-fulfilling prophesy or about RP full stop? Although, in both cases I think I just know far too many decent women, and the kinds of things RP implies all women will do is ludicrous in the context of that experience. I also know far too many relationships that are very equal and balanced and that have stayed the distance (25-30 years plus). The two things possibly cross over in that my social ci…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/18 02:55 PM
8

Purple here. I believe a lot of the RP advice is useful - self-improvement especially. I believe that a lot of the theories are represented fairly substantially in the real world. However, I don't think it's a clear majority of women that these theories represent, and I think the more you treat women the way RP suggests - plate spinning, dread game etc - the more likely you are to select for the type of women that stuff works on. So fair play if that's what you want, but it's only going to make …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/18 12:51 PM
1

Female, mid twenties, blue-purple. Depends on finances and their effort tbh. If we can live on my income without undue financial strain then it isn’t as much of a problem as long as he pulls weight in other ways - childcare, housework, etc. However if he was just lazing around and not making an effort either in job hunt or other ways, then that would be a bone of contention for sure. If we were financially struggling, god knows. Again probably depends on his intentions (is he working hard to try…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/18 12:53 PM
2

Did you not keep reading her list? 4.) Sure if a man makes money but manages to keep entirely separate from our lives that's acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/18 11:49 AM
1

Ok, that makes sense. As far as I’m aware quite a few socialist countries are very hard on guys not meeting their mandated child support. Horrible situation though, and you and people like you have all my sympathy. I agree with you that consent to sex isn’t consent to a child, and I do feel that a financial abortion should be an option for guys that are adamant at the start they don’t want children rather the ones just trying to ditch their kids. However I think it would have to be carefully man…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/18 04:03 PM
1

The thing is, I don’t actually think child support in inherently misandrist... it’s about support of the child, and I’ve known women pay child support too here in the U.K.. However, having amounts set so high with no wiggle room for feasibility is crazy, particularly when driving people to crime. I totally support changing that. I won’t ask specifically which country, but is it a socialist country?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/18 03:15 PM
1

Perhaps - but banning abortions isn’t the way to do that. That’s backward and will kill people for no good reason - banning abortions will just give the anti-choice brigade a boner rather than put any pressure on child support laws. That article is terrible and utterly tragic - although I’d say this poor guy’s end is as much on your police shooting people (I mean what on Earth?!) as it is on bad support laws. It’s terribly tragic, but the police shooting people and lying about it? I have to say,…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/18 02:09 PM
1

The difference is that those guys have things they can do at every step of the way to avoid that scenario. Getting proper means tested payments from the courts when the payments start to become unmeetable. The courts would rather see you pay what you can afford (take evidence of your earnings!) than have to pay it all while you rot in jail. A women ending up pregnant when abortion is illegal has no right to her own life over the foetus’s, and there is no recourse. This is why it’s important to s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/18 12:03 PM
1

I don’t for a minute thinknit is just having to pay a little money. From what I understand, guys in the US can have crippling amounts of money required of them by the courts, and if unable to pay can be jailed. It’s a serious problem and I honestly don’t understand why your system isn’t overhauled to be more like ours in the U.K. However, having life-saving treatment denied and leaving your partner alone with a child when you die (or both of you dying) is a step up, I’m sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/18 11:51 AM
2

Ok, quite honestly if you think having to pay child maintenance is equal to having chemotherapy stopped then there is no point me even trying to continue this conversation - we are way too far apart in worldview.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/18 11:28 AM
1

It’s definitely more unfair in plenty of ways. How many men would be expected to stop lifesaving medical treatment during pregnancy? How many men would face worsening their disabilities or even risking their life? How many men would risk septicaemia if their child was unviable and died before birth? How many men would be faced with the product of their rape or incest growing inside them and then having to raise it? Some of my family is Irish, and my cousin is quite disabled - she was advised nev…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/18 07:19 AM
1

still say a full grown adult who has freedom of choice is financially obligated to this non-person with no rights This is my point though. Abortion is of a non-person with no rights. Child maintenance is financial support of a living breathing child - a person with rights. This is why I find it a bit more grey than most on here - part of me feels financial abortion is fair, but the idea of children suffering for it is hard to reconcile.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/18 07:11 AM
0

you could say that making abortion ilegal would be more fair than the system we currently have Fairer in some, and infinitely more unfair in others.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/18 11:40 PM
3

Not the poster you replied to, but I have similar feelings. I do believe in abortion, and part of me feels a ‘financial abortion’ during the same period of time could be an option for men (and a relief for some women who won’t want the father changing his mind later down the line and coming back into their lives) - however, what scares me about this is the fact that actual children’s lives could be horribly affected by this. Getting an abortion means no child is ever born. But a financial aborti…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/18 11:37 PM
1

This is a good point. Well spotted.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/18 03:20 PM
3

Well it is. If you go into a room and it’s all red - the walls, the sheets, all the decor - then you’re going to immediately think the person is trying too hard. It’s aggressive and in your face. If it’s green, you probably won’t even notice, cos green is chill that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/18 12:42 PM
4

Red is such an aggressive try-hard colour. It has zero chill. Green all the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/18 11:54 AM
3

But then you think both things are morally wrong - so you aren’t being hypocritical as the OP is suggesting TRP is. I actually agree with you though.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/18 11:26 AM
1

Green is my favourite colour because it’s super peaceful and fresh - it’s like blue but happier.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/18 11:21 AM
3

That’s so totally unlike my experience I actually find it a bit hard to imagine.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 06:44 PM
3

Plenty of you in America? U.K. Yeah because you're still a student. But I worked and ran my own business for six years between graduating and coming back to university full time. I haven’t lived with my parents since 2009. And I’ve never earned even the average wage. Yet I still see myself as UMC, and still socialise with people from the same sort of background.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 06:41 PM
4

When someone asks my SES, I consider my own SES, not my parents'. I've been a grown adult for a long time. Parents aren't paying my bills. This is quite an American thing. In Europe, your family comes much more into play - that’s your background. I still consider myself UMC despite the fact I’m actually a PhD student with next to no money - but that’s because my parents are, and I can’t deny that experience growing up colours a lot of my life. I’ve ended up with an engineer whose current wage is…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 06:28 PM
5

have been together for 20 years or more Do I live on another planet that this is rare now? Only one of my 7 aunties is divorced, my parents are still disgustingly in love and the majority of my friends’ parents are still together too - and at 27 it’s not like they’re still together for the kids any more. I certainly expect my OH and I to last the distance too, because we’ve taken our time before talking marriage and we’re both committed to making it work the same way my role models growing up al…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/18 06:13 PM
2

she’s always there .. Dude, this is key. If he had a hobby or friends to go out with, you'd have a few evenings a week to yourself. Then you might be like my BF who complains (jokingly) that I only come home to eat and sleep.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/18 02:16 PM
1

I was bullied right through school, mainly by boys - girls would make snide comments and stuff but I could avoid them, but the boys would hound me and actually bullied me physically (throwing rocks at me, pulling knives on me, knocking me over on the stairs, grabbing my bag and emptying it etc etc). The ringleader was a guy, and he was the one who drove everyone else to isolate me. I ended up attempting to take my own life when I was 13 as I just couldn't stand going to school, felt utterly desp…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/18 11:04 AM
1

As you said, all we can do now is select which genes are expressed before we pass them on. This is not epigenetics. This is gene selection. And it works on a population level not an individual one.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/18 09:13 AM
2

but we don't quite know just how much we can affect our genetic code with an certainty We kind of do. Your genetic code doesn't change in your lifetime aside from errors in DNA replication - which aren't predictable or trainable in any way (unless you're purposefully drinking mutagens/carcinogens), are generally due to ageing and often give you cancer or other mutation-based diseases rather than improve anything. Changes in the amount of protein that a gene expresses - sure, we don't know that a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/18 04:17 PM
3

Epigenetics: the study of changes in organisms caused by modification of gene expression rather than alteration of the genetic code. Funnily enough, my field. Specifically muscle and muscle disorders, actually. Gaining strength isn’t simply a modification in gene expression. Most of strength potential is genetically predetermined. What you’re suggesting is pretty much beyond the realm of epigenetics and comes into actual genetics and selection for traits. I mean, I agree on the martial arts thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/18 08:02 AM
1

The thing is, it’s not about winning a fight. It’s about incapacitating them long enough to get away. I do aikido, and I’m fairly confident that as long as I saw it coming, I could get away from an unarmed untrained assailant - I wouldn’t win in a drawn out fight, because I’m so much weaker, but I’d get away.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/18 07:55 AM
6

Women who learn this stuff have far less fear and can protect themselves far better. This is true. I don’t do MMA, but I do aikido and kendo. Aikido uses your opponents momentum against them, and whilst kendo isn’t real world applicable at all, it builds your confidence, posture and fighting spirit. I’ve become far more confident, and a lot of the time that’s enough - men who use rape to gain power over women will have a harder time with me. Of course, this doesn’t protect me against date rape e…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/18 07:51 AM
1

I mean EVERYWHERE Oh, in social situations sure, I’ve been treated with a lack of respect because of my gender. I’m sure most people have at some point. But stopping seeing people socially when they’re a dick doesn’t have the same effect as leaving a job or degree course or a career path on your life, and seeing as we’ve been talking about women in STEM, I felt that was the relevant conversation. If you want to talk about facing hostile environments more generally we can always start another thr…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 07:50 AM
1

I do agree actually that there aren’t enough male teachers. I think four of the dozens of teachers I had through school were male, and I can imagine it affects guys pretty strongly not having male role models who teach in a way guys learn. If it makes you feel better, I’m an avid reader and hated English in school too. They do suck the life out of reading novels!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 07:10 AM
2

And absolutely nowhere else? In a work or education situation? No, I haven't. Can you please stop strawmanning? How is it strawmanning to say that I have anecdotal experience backing up the argument you say is false based on your own anecdotal experience? Strawmanning is a "fallacy based on giving the impression of refuting an opponent's argument, while actually refuting an argument that was not presented by that opponent" - I'm directly saying that my experience contradicts your position, not a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 10:35 AM
1

Because I experienced it in STEM, by STEM professors, and regarding my gender. It’s not that hard to understand? I can’t pin it on the system as it’s my experience and therefore anecdotal, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t legitimate as an experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 08:18 AM
3

I can’t talk about a systemic level, but I experienced blatant hostility at multiple institutions. It exists. Telling me my experience is an assumption or is wrong just denies and helps supports the people who make STEM unwelcoming to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/18 07:03 AM
14

OMG, this is it. I knew there was some kind of mirroring between TRP and radfem, and this sums it up totally.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/18 09:18 PM
9

You say "boy's club" and "hostile" Yes, I do. I experienced men in a position of power outright telling me women shouldn't be in my classes because they aren't intelligent enough. I experienced senior professors at subject events telling me that girls should choose biology instead as it's less difficult. As I said, even in school I had a physics teacher use sexist examples in a classroom where I was the only girl. my experience in STEM was that it was a no-bullshit meritocracy I'm glad you had a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/18 05:41 PM
13

'We need more women STEM graduates' is not about forcing more women into STEM - it's about making STEM fields less hostile to women. When I was an undergrad, I remember very nearly being put completely off STEM by the 'boy's club' atmosphere in my college, being perpetuated by both the students and professors. In fact, I even experienced it in school as the only girl in my physics class of 20 kids with a teacher who thought it was funny to make jokes about female drivers part of his demonstratio…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/18 02:19 PM
1

Yeah, I wouldn’t date any of my guy friends. Love them to bits but ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/18 07:37 AM
1

Who are you looking at? He isn’t bald and his ears are normal sized.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 09:23 PM
1

God, if attraction has anything to do with who I’m friends with then I have a really sucky sense of attraction. Wouldn’t bang any of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 09:22 PM
1

She isn't cut out to live the life of a British royal. She won't fit in at all. If Diana couldn’t hack it, coming from the aristocracy herself, I’m not convinced Meghan will. Especially when you look at the divorce rates amongst the royal family. It’s a shame, cos I quite like Harry and wish him all the best. But being royal isn’t the same sort of spotlight as celebrity, and I think she’s in for a shock. It’s all about hierarchy and conservativism.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/18 09:21 PM
3

But when that hoist has to run all the way along an aisle to the feed room, then suddenly it does cost quite a bit to set that up. I actually think working on a farm as opposed to a horse yard is much better - they tend to be much more open to using equipment to help out their employees. Horse yards, not so much. I worked on both cattle (beef, pig and sheep farms at different points and didn’t have the problem of horse yards. But again - horse yards are mainly women, and so it’s the women who ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 04:37 PM
4

Proper barns Yeah, like ones owned by millionaires? Super fancy expensive yards maybe, but that’s the vast majority. The vast majority of yards don’t own a hoist, and you’re doing well if you have a tractor. The last yard I worked at, the stables were old stone stables which you can’t get down with machinery - just a wheelbarrow. And you load and unload the back of the land rover/horsebox yourself pretty standard. I worked at several different yards, all top eventing yards and one boss who regul…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 03:36 PM
6

I’m not sure if it was. However, ‘so much’ and ‘minority’ aren’t mutually exclusive - 14% of sex work being trafficked prostitutes is pretty appalling. And the ‘elite’ escorts account for a far smaller percentage than that. So in terms of comparing the elite escorts often spoken about on here to trafficked women, they are more representative of the industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 01:55 PM
3

Tractor doesn’t fit down barn aisles.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 01:22 PM
7

AFAIK most feminists get angry about the sex industry because so much of it (especially here in the U.K.) is linked to human trafficking. The women, once in it, are often forced to work and hooked on drugs to keep working. Obviously that isn’t your high end escorts, but they are a tiny proportion of the sex industry and thus not really the target of the concern over the industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 12:10 PM
5

My Bf worked a construction job from 16 for about 8 years. I worked the same period at a barn - mucking out, moving bales of hay and straw, lifting heavy feed sacks, handling and riding half-ton horses. Guess which of the two of us fucked up their bodies with their manual job?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/18 12:07 PM
2

it only requires one confident person to get things going This possibly explains why confidence is never something I've been that worried about in a guy. My OH is super shy and sensitive, but I love him to bits and he gotten more confident since we've been together too to be fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 02:54 PM
3

Oh yeah. I could write a list! But I try not to do that, because I respect him and I'd hate it if he was ranting about my weaknesses to strangers. But, realistically, his flaws are only temporarily frustrating at absolute worst. His flaws come no where close to balancing how awesome he is in a million other ways, and weirdly enough his flaws are mainly areas where I'm strong, and vice versa, so we actually balance out one another's flaws pretty well - for example I'm chronically ill, so his supe…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/18 02:22 PM
2

The thing is, he gets annoyed at himself and frustrated by it too. I don't know, I think he pins too much on it and overthinks what I want too. I just want something to eat most of the time tbh but try telling him that. Getting frustrated and not being able to handle his frustration is his biggest flaw, but it's far from the worst one I've ever dealt with - he has to deal with the fact I'm terribly lazy and untidy which I think is worse so it's fair. I normally leave him to it when he gets like …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/18 09:58 AM
3

I mean, he’s awesome in fifty million ways and it’s hardly a dealbreaker sort of flaw - but whenever people talk about the girl-picking-restaurant cliche I like to remind them that guys can be just as weird and annoying about restaurant choice whilst blaming the girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/18 07:14 AM
3

I could try this. He drove me mental last time we were on holiday, taking about an hour wandering around town before deciding where to eat - this might save my sanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/18 07:13 AM
1

The problem is every woman wants a male dominated relationship. Definitely not true. It's possible a majority do, but definitely not all. My relationship is pretty equal, with him being the more emotional and sensitive one, but I find a guy trying to 'lead' me really unattractive and have noped out before when I felt that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/18 10:18 PM
4

My boyfriend claims that I make life difficult by never deciding where to eat. But he's the fussy one. When I make a suggestion he shoots me down every time, so when I don't have a preference I tell him I don't care. But apparently that makes me a terrible person. I can't win, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/18 10:05 PM
1

To add to this, in that generation, living with or having sex with someone you weren't married to was still pretty taboo - so they had less evidence of good compatibility before marriage, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/18 09:19 AM
1

Probably. Still entertaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/18 04:14 PM
19

I would mostly agree, when it is done properly and active encouragement rather than passive acceptance of the contact is the benchmark for escalation. Unfortunately, feminists keep having to tell guys to get enthusiastic consent because a small handful of thundercunts seem to have interpreted it as ‘how far can I get’ instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/18 01:32 PM
4

I sub relationships because it’s entertaining. The posts are always completely mental and full of drama, and are intensely entertaining. It makes great loo break reading.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/18 09:55 AM
3

Completely agree. My partner nags me about cleaning, because I’m a total slob if left to my own devices, and I nag him about booking tickets for things, or about going to see movies or whatever it is I want to see/do. It’s definitely a ‘who cares more’ thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/18 08:31 AM
2

Everything he’s been in he’s been ace - and totally different characters every time! (Yeah, I’m in love)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/18 08:22 AM
3

I have a proper thing for Eddie Redmayne. He’s just so lovely, and genuinely talented. Loved when younger but less now after watching him play Churchill (even if he was amazing) is Gary Oldman. Very attractive when young, not bad with age, but couldn’t handle this and so I’m afraid I’m done.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/18 02:38 PM
1

I think that’s a good question. If you’re just dating, been together only a few years, no marriage or kids, then I think it’s actually the right thing to do. If you’re married, and they’ve given up their best years to stay at home with the kids (either gender - I’m a woman but my OH is going to be the SAHP), been a devoted partner etc then I don’t think it is - the kind of love that lasts a lifetime is the one you work at, not the one that flips in your stomach every time you look at them, and I…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/18 06:36 AM
5

This is a tough one. I have plenty of scenarios where I would feel it was immoral for me to break up with a partner - sudden sickness, disability, for someone else when there is nothing wrong with the relationship, etc. However I don’t think those things are immoral in their own right, just I wouldn’t do them. I do think long term committed relationships, particularly marriages and with kids involved, hold you to a higher standard - for example, it’s completely legitimate to break up with someon…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/18 09:28 PM
3

Past twenty? No. I was a virgin til 24 myself. Stuff can get in the way easily. Latter half of twenties I’d be a bit more curious as to why though. Past 30? I’d be less questioning of him being a virgin than of knowing what he wants. But that age, I’d want to be settling down and starting a family - if a guy has never dated, does he have enough experience to judge if the relationship is right before settling down? Past 40 and yeah I’d be totally turned off.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/18 09:18 AM
1

Its kept quiet, but i submit its more common than people let on. This is possibly true. However it’s definitely not the majority, and the reason girls keep it quiet is because it’s pretty low-down and marks you as not a great person. It’s one thing admitting you enjoy casual sex, but lying about it and pretending you don’t isn’t cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/18 08:08 AM
1

My point is that what I would consider a healthy balance some women consider manipulating them, and I don't agree with that. Now, I actually agree that we are too quick to get affronted at guys taking some control in dating dynamics. Completely agree that society is too quick to think a male perspective is appalling in the dating world - especially around sex. And you’re right that a guy taking control (not being a bossy ass but actually in control) is really attractive, and better for both guys…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/18 05:27 PM
1

but I'd also argue that self respect and having sex early are not mutually exclusive This I 100% agree with, but I meant being convinced to have sex earlier than you would like in order to 'keep a guy', as we were discussing. Crossing your own boundaries due to insecurity is not compatible with having self-respect, I'd argue. Its just to be at a high enough level that the ball is in your court. I very much do not think this is most of TRP's goal. However, if we assume it is, I'd still argue that…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/18 04:31 PM
1

But pick up any high school girls diary This is the crux I think. I totally agree plenty of girls under 21/22 even would bite. But I think the other end of college is when women on the whole have a little more respect for themselves and self-confidence in general. Of course, this seems to be the target age for a lot of TRP guys so maybe it isn't relevant. Maybe you don't fit the mold of modern dating This is probably true. I've been with my OH three years now, and part of why I love him so much …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/18 01:04 PM
2

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not convinced it works quite like that. I have definitely been majorly put off by a guy I really liked making it clear he had other options - even the most attractive, confident, high status guy would put me off making that clear. I genuinely can’t imagine jumping into bed with a guy to try to keep him - and most women after they’ve left college are mature/self-confident enough to do the same, IMO. But then I’m madly in love with my beta partner, low N count and don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/18 07:20 AM
1

I mean, don’t get me wrong, Hemsworth would still be pretty damn successful. He’s an attractive, high status guy. He’s not going to have to change a thing to do well. And I very much used ‘I’as an example, not implying my personal preference is the most important, obviously. But the point made above that I tried (and obviously didn’t do a good job of making clear) to add to is that it’s actually not clear cut that that very built kind of guy is actually the most widely appealing to women - and c…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 10:31 PM
1

Well, it’s either a strawman or it’s not saying much. Pick one. I felt personally that it agreed with the point made up above - that the type of guy put forward as a Chad is not a universally preferred by women. Plenty of women prefer other types of attractive guys, and wouldn’t drop everything for a Hemsworth type the way TRP states they do for Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 10:25 PM
1

Yeah I’d agree - a guy doesn’t need to look like Hemsworth to be successful by any means, and that kind of body is a more specific ‘type’ too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 10:23 PM
1

Good point that it’s a wide net. Mine was more that plenty of women have different preferences, and a universally-appealing Chad doesn’t exist outside TRP rhetoric.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 08:16 PM
2

But what if I prefer Benedict Cumberbatch or Eddie Redmayne or some other non-jacked type?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 08:03 PM
4

No, there's just a clash of sexual strategies here. This is the paradox at the centre of dating. Speaking very generally, women want commitment and men want sex. Guys want to commit to girls with low n counts, so it's in a girls' best interest to sleep with fewer guys. But then that strategy for gaining commitment clashes with guys wanting casual sex. I've literally seen the same guys on here say they would only date a low n-count, non-slutty girl, but then turn around and say they won't wait fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/18 12:55 PM
3

I believe that the only reason why a girl would make you wait is because she's not sure if you're high enough in terms of SMV Girls who don't do casual sex just don't count any more?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/18 12:48 PM
2

I’ve only once tried to have a ONS (but he ended up asking me out again afterwards so it didn’t quite end up that brief), but it wasn’t about respect or disrespect of the guy. I just had too much to drink, and had had a very long dry spell since my last relationship ended, and he was cute even if the conversation was lacking (and words are what get me fired up). It was definitely more about where I was in my life than him particularly. My OH on the other hand, he made me wait for sex. Apparently…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/18 11:26 PM
1

Sorry, I’m a bit confused by your reply. How is there any oxymoron in the fact that it’s common for sex to get better but less frequent as a relationship progresses? And my point was exactly the opposite - it’s common that sex gets better but less frequent with the length of a relationship. I mean, there hits a point where you’re living together, both working, and suddenly when you go to bed late you’d both actually rather get the extra sleep before work in the morning rather than have sex the w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/18 08:33 AM
1

I honestly don’t think it’s as rare as you think. Plenty of women don’t start to have really great sex until their partner gets to know their body, and they’re both comfortable with each other and can start to be a little selfish. The idea of sex getting better with time (although less frequent) is a pretty common theme when you get away from the various internet pills and the inherent bias against ordinary functional relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/18 07:42 PM
1

Honesty? Yes, sex is just as exciting, it just isn’t as frequent. And, additionally, we both know each other’s Bodies better now, so I’d say I probably get more satisfaction from sex now than I did initially. Equally, it’s a huge bonding thing. However, I don’t flirt with other guys, so I don’t have a comparison there. I’ve never been particularly good at noticing when I get attention and that’s hasnt changed - and now I’m not really trying to notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/18 11:41 AM
1

Which is a completely fair opinion for you to have. Personally, I think something special would be lost from the world if I were to no longer see sex like that - certainly, it would change the relationship I have with my partner completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/18 06:34 AM
1

I think that’s a bit of a straw man. The two things aren’t directly comparable - societal misogyny is obviously reducing the rights or even actively harming a subset of people, as is racism or homophobia. Valuing sex with a partner as intimate and viewing sex as a very personal thing does not infringe on anyone else’s rights. Therefore, I’d argue that the first is a moral question (as is veganisn or any other protection of individual or group rights) where the second is not and thus doesn’t have…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 08:31 PM
1

I completely agree with you, it is a societal construct. But nonetheless, being a societal construct doesn’t mean it isn’t important to us as modern humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/18 03:15 PM
2

Like Wendy off Breaking Bad is what the Americans would think of, I dunno I just see no reason to apply that stereotype to the UK. I think your experience of prostitutes is different to the norm here in the U.K, possibly because as you say you have friends who are escorts. For most of us, the only prostitutes we’ve seen in the flesh have been streetwalkers - they’re very obvious, look slutty and usually aren’t even attractive. And this is definitely true in the U.K. too, not just in the US - par…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/18 06:16 PM
2

Probably we were. But it’s kind of irrelevant. We aren’t cavemen, and society plays as much of a role in our sexual interactions as evolutionary biology. Plenty of men feel that sex is special and intimate too. This isn’t a simple male/female dichotomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/18 06:08 PM
2

Sex trafficking is a small proportion of trafficking overall, perhaps (I haven’t seen the figures but I believe you) - but ta a big proportion of the sex trade in the U.K. That’s why people get hung up on it. Maybe the sex industry should be better regulated.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/18 07:50 AM
3

I mean, people who've just met will hug and kiss on the cheek as a greeting This is way more common in Europe than the U.K., where handshake is way more common. I certainly don’t get greeted by a kiss on the cheek except by elderly family members! There’s been some cool studies on places people are adverse to being touched and by degrees of familiarity - the ones were happiest with strangers touching are hands, funnily enough, and the least are genitals. So yes, sex work goes against a natural r…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/18 07:13 AM
2

It's not a hidden industry shrouded in mystery in the UK No, but large parts of the industry are still illegal and thus it’s not totally out in the open either. So to put it another way, the vast majority of prozzies in the UK are doing it willingly. Oh, totally - although studies show the majority of prostitutes enter the industry out of desperation and would prefer to leave if possible. But almost a fifth of prostitutes being illegally trafficked is a huge, huge problem not reflected in any ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/18 07:03 AM
4

Perhaps you can - but manual labour doesn’t involve anyone else entering your personal space or touching you, which humans are naturally averse to from strangers. No, if the woman is consenting (although Home Office stats suggest around 18% of prostitutes in 2017 were trafficked) then it isn’t legally wrong - however the emotional reaction is an obvious reason why most women would be offended to be mistaken for a prostitute, and it isn’t irrational either.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/18 06:55 AM
2

Ah, see I don’t read the Sun so that’s probably why. My boyfriend actually got approached by one a few months ago when he decided to park on a different side street to usual. We both found it kind of funny to be honest. But yeah, I’ve definitely seen them on countless occasions. Most of the human trafficking may be for labour, but a larger proportion of prostitution is linked to human trafficking. Home Office statistics suggest around 13k trafficked prostitutes in the U.K. in 2017 out of an esti…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/18 06:48 AM
4

I disagree. Doing manual labour (which I have actually done) is physical, yes, but is selling the product of what you do with your body - lifting things, hitting things, etc etc. Prostitution is different as you’re actually allowing a man into your personal space, to touch you intimately and then of course inside you. It’s allowing him to use your body to fulfill his desires. It’s totaly different from using your own body to meet requirements of a physical job. Yes, it’s emotionally loaded, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/18 06:20 AM
4

Yes, and that’s why I find it offensive to look like one. Because of what they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/18 06:08 AM
3

According to me personally, and hence why I personally would be offended. I’m well aware not all people feel the same about sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/18 06:07 AM
8

So if a guy confused you for a $500/hr escort, would you be offended? Yes. Because my body is not something to be bought or sold, and sex for me is an intimate act not a transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/18 10:03 PM
10

Because the idea of reducing an act supposed to be the most intimate you can take part in to a monetary transaction feels sleazy and disgusting, regardless of whether you are considered beautiful and high class or not? On top of that, selling your body implies that the buyer can own it. All sorts of icky connotations around the idea of ownership.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/18 10:02 PM
8

I understand the Americans associating prostitution with crime and drug addiction but that's not really how it works in the UK, it's not as shady here and is not controlled so strongly by the black market. Also a Brit, and prostitution here is heavily associated with human trafficking, both in practice and in people's minds. And most of the population are more likely to see a street hooker than a high end escort. I'm relatively new to my current city and already it's obvious the area where the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/18 09:55 PM
2

Oh totally. But in terms of birth defects, men over 40 (and some studies claim 35) have significantly higher chances of birth defects in their children, even controlling for mother’s age, although not the same ones as women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/18 06:15 PM
4

Not as common as fertility issues in women closing in on 40. This is true. Around 35% of women are infertile by 40. But men over 40 are 30% less likely to conceive than men under 30 with age-controlled partners. There are pretty significant decreases in male fertility after 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/18 05:14 PM
2

I mean, it applies to a lot of industrial research jobs too. Equally any jobs with temporary contracts. It was just one example.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 12:45 PM
3

Except for the fact that is takes two to make that baby, and the man is equally responsible, and therefore should be equally prepared to make the sacrifice. I have to admit, I find the reaction when you ask a guy if he’s giving up work after the baby announcement rather funny - for the vast majority of people, it’s expected that the mother makes the choice to work or care full time, not the father. So yes, because this tends to land pretty squarely on the mother rather than the other responsible…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 07:16 AM
3

Any career that is project based with temporary contracts, like in academia, is going to be hugely problematic taking time off. It’s not ‘oddly particular careers’ being picked by women, it’s that any industry that isn’t a regular hours permanent contract is going to be biased against maternity leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/18 07:05 AM
12

Totally agree. And as a scientist, taking considerable time off would basically kill my career - losing experiment time, missing funding, not getting papers published... it's the way to ensure your postdoc doesn't get renewed. Most women I know have had 2-3 months tops off if they want to keep their career going. So deciding to stay at home would be the absolute end of my career, not something I could pick up again, and I'd feel claustrophobic and trapped at home alone with no mental stimulation…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 07:47 AM
0

He directly said ‘you’ in response to a post about what I said I found unattractive. It wasn’t exactly a leap.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/18 07:17 PM
2

But, since I never had and never would, that’s irrelevant. Probably part of why I find it so unattractive and sleazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/18 05:37 PM
1

Did they control for personality differences? Agreeable people are less likely to ask for raises than disagreeable people, and women tend to be more agreeable than men. I remember thinking this would be key. It was likely that innate gender differences in risk-taking etc would be part of the difference. When they controlled for mothers, did they control for women who had left the workforce to do full time child care and then returned, or no? I don't think so - they controlled for part-time work …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/18 04:48 PM
0

No, I remember checking for that and it was pro-rata. It was really interesting. There’s an argument for less demand for employees as more women increase the workforce size, but the working hours argument was controlled for (approximately, obviously fewer hours will correlate to less workplace progression).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/18 04:13 PM
1

I agree that there are factors like risk-taking bejaviour, job stability, physical work and caring work that will probably always be gender biased - there are real differences between the sexes. But recognising that individuals need support to make it in an industry that is heavily biased to the other gender is good, because it helps reduce the actual sexist pressure against them. Interestingly, I remember reading a paper about how there was a type of I think engineering, which used to be male d…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/18 03:55 PM
1

See, I'd say that your field absolutely supports a victim narrative - but the opposite way from what is usually seen. I work in libraries, and its the same, and my friend who is a male nurse has struggled with being told men don't 'care' the way women do. These are still problems with sexism, and it's these stereotyped gender roles that play a part in that, despite women not being the ones 'oppressed' in those industries.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/18 03:32 PM
9

Not the poster you replied to, but yeah - a guy old enough to be your dad hitting on you is gross in a way that a perfectly nice but otherwise unattractive guy your own age just isn't. In my personal experience, older guys are also more likely to try and convince you rather than just take no for an answer, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/18 12:17 PM
9

Agreed. Am now 27, but was 24 when last single, and my Tinder preferences were set at 22-28. Anybody over 30 would have been a red flag - a really hot, charismatic and interesting guy might have had a shot, but it would definitely be a big disadvantage to overcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/18 12:14 PM
2

I've had guys pull this on me. Ugh, it completely puts me off them - I wouldn't want a friend or a lover with that attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/18 12:09 PM
2

Im the martial artist - id definitely save the BF from intruders, and am the one who gets up to check on things in the night because he sleeps through anything anyway.. I’m the one with the high libido and the one who likes to have a cheeky grope when chilling around he house (he bats me away and calls me the horn dog). On the other hand, he’s the cook (including baking cake!). He’s also the one that gets all emotional, and then annoyed when I try to ‘fix’ problems for him. He’s also quite shy, …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/18 03:15 PM
1

I do agree with you, but equally I’ve experienced more kind but clear ‘no’s than excuses about boyfriends when out with my friends for example. I think your reasoning is spot on, but I don’t think it’s as common as you suggest though. Last point is spot on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 11:46 PM
2

Sorry, the sub specifically or the philosophy in general? I don’t spend any time in the sub, so I don’t know, but let’s face it BP philosophy is just societal expectation and cultural norm isn’t it?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 11:44 PM
1

Isn’t it nice when we all get along?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 11:43 PM
2

Some possibly do. I don’t, and my friends don’t, but maybe we’re more honest than average - I can only speak for my experience. A guy doesn’t deserve to be lied to just because you’re not interested. If anything it’s a compliment he approached you. The lie is only really justifiable when the guy isn’t taking no for an answer and being a pushy jerk.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 11:14 PM
2

I almost completely agree with you. Women definitely don’t learn how to manage confrontation - we learn how to avoid it and how to pacify people and that is something perpetuated by society I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 11:11 PM
2

Basically it feel like women giving advice on how to date women. It will be half the time anyway. I think the big difference from what I've read of both is that RP seems to give advice on how to sleep with women, whilst BP gives advice on how to find a LTR. The two are literally at cross purposes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 09:47 PM
2

most westerners do not view other people as property I don't deny this at all. I said quite clearly that the odd guy will act like this. It's not all, not even most. But I've witnessed guys who won't back off after being told no, but being told there's a boyfriend works. Maybe you're right, and it's because of the threat of a man being taken more seriously than a woman telling him she isn't interested. But a guy being involved suddenly means a no is listened to when it isn't otherwise. Either wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 09:44 PM
6

do you like a girl with makeup? I don't really wear makeup myself to be honest. I appreciate the artistic talent some makeup artists have, but that's less about improving looks as it is about creating cool art. or a girl that tells a guy she has a boyfriend when she doesnt? I have to admit, I haven't done this one either. I think if a girl comes out with this off the bat, then it's blatant lying and not very cool - however there are the very occasional guys who don't seem to respect a 'no' unles…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 07:14 PM
5

most purples are really reds who dislike the rough language of TRP Don't agree. I don't like the manipulation tactics, or the evo psych bullshit, or the way personality traits get so heavily gendered. I also think BP is in denial about the issues men face in modern society, and that, yes, guys (people) who want to do better with women (other people) have to sort themselves out first and foremost. But I'm not just a red that's a bit sensitive. Blue advice, when drilled down to the core, is red ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 07:00 PM
6

Yes, it's a thing that men who 'complain' are seen as less manly. And women who whine are as annoying as fuck too. Bias against whining is nothing to do with gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 06:32 PM
1

Oh totally. Women are less likely to negotiate pay rises, less likely to take on risky but higher paying jobs, more likely to choose career fulfilment over pay, more likely to choose part time hours (and slower career progression associated with that) due to childcare, more likely to take time out from the workplace... It all has an impact.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 05:15 PM
1

Part of why, I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 04:37 PM
2

Unfortunately they receive plenty of female applicants, so they probably won’t raise the wages. It would be better for both men and women if they did, but all that will happen is they will continue ‘encouraging’ men to apply to not much change.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 03:47 PM
2

I think the dynamic is probably pretty rare, but not because people with our personalities are particularly rare - more because most people's egos are far more caught up around how masculine or feminine they appear. We've both been unashamedly ourselves from the start, and he's never felt emasculated by me and I've never felt like less of a woman because he's more nurturing. We've been very lucky that we're both laid back enough to enjoy the dynamic rather than letting expectations make us insec…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 02:32 PM
3

And many, many No, not many. Not stay at home wives without children, anyway. every guy I know who has stayed home with kids was bored to tears it's not lack of things to do - it's lack of adult interaction that's the killer. If you're juggling all of the housework, cooking and cleaning for a family, and interacting with you children at the same time (let alone having to coordinate and get them to and from everything they take part in as they get older) you have very little time for yourself. Do…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 02:12 PM
2

Which isn't cool IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 02:06 PM
2

Well, he sleeps like a log and I'm the one who is a trained martial artist, so yeah it would be me. I certainly pick up the spiders and release them because he's shit scared of them. I'll admit I'm more masculine in my behaviour than the average, so a guy who complements me rather than wishing I was more feminine is pretty damn sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 02:05 PM
1

Meh, I have a pretty awesome relationship, and I totally agree with her opinion. And whilst my OH is usually the one who likes to come home and share about his day and get a lot of nice affirming attention rather than me, I certainly wouldn't be dying to put out for a guy who removes his attention from me. Sex is intimate, and withdrawing doesn't create any intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 01:55 PM
7

How did you get So all the stay home wives are what ? Children? from Looking after another perfectly capable adult is a step above and beyond Looking after another capable adult, ie your partner, is a good step beyond basic adulting. If anything, it's ridiculous and a complete lack of basic adulting to expect someone else to look after you. And the vast majority of women who do this are not stay at home wives - I don't know of a single one even in my hometown, let alone in my circle of acquainta…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 01:32 PM
10

Basic adulting is looking after yourself. Looking after another perfectly capable adult is a step above and beyond, and if you don’t appreciate women who are prepared to do that you won’t get one.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 01:17 PM
4

I think you’re misinterpreting me. I mean expecting it of any particular individual, as in putting that expectation of behaviour onto them. You can’t date a girl and expect her to be domestic - what you can do is choose not to date girls who aren’t, or break up with them once it’s clear they aren’t and choose someone who is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 01:08 PM
1

I don’t want to get doxxed, and have stated it’s my workplace, so I’d rather not. Will see if I can screen grab something non identifying though. I mean, maybe that’s why. All I know is we’ve seen how hard it can be to attract male applicants to female dominated fields so I get why it can be hard the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 01:06 PM
1

Honestly I’m not totally sure how they get around that - it is stated, but it’s something like ‘male candidates are encouraged for hiring equality’ or something. But it’s a public ally funded higher ed institution so they’d be hung if it was a breach of the equalities act.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 01:03 PM
3

Which is totally fair play and some domestic goddess will be super happy pairing up with you and being appreciated.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 01:01 PM
4

I don't. Well, I mean, I expect my men to have a penis, but that's my preference. I certainly don't expect my OH to be manly - and if anything, he's the one who is more emotional and fills the feminine roles in the house. I mean, up to you what you want in a woman, but equally you can't expect every woman to want to fill that role.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 12:03 PM
3

I found that popular attractive women were total bitches. Attractive women who hadn't grown up attractive and popular are a different kettle of fish.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 11:54 AM
5

Agreed. Have never understood the urge to snog a girl friend whilst drunk that seemed rife when I was at university. I've never had any fantasy of, interest in, or sexual attraction to a woman, although I can objectively tell when a woman is pretty. But then I'm fussy about guys, let alone girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 11:44 AM
5

It's not bad to want one. It's bad to expect one.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 11:39 AM
5

My department is heavily female, and whenever they advertise jobs, they state that preference is given to male applicants to support equality. But as library services don't pay well, we never get male applicants...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 11:37 AM
1

Mine too. I do believe in protecting and encouraging genuine victims (of actual harassment/assault/gendered discrimination/mutilation/oppression, which in the west are odd cases now rather than the norm), but I hate the idea of women having success handed to them as if we couldn’t compete for it on our own merit.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/18 08:33 PM
1

I don’t agree - the non-promiscuous ones are just judgemental in addition to dramatic. Extremes on either end I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/18 04:55 PM
3

This is a good point. A lot of women will give advice for getting a girl to date you, for being boyfriend material, because it’s what they’re looking for. They don’t think to give advice on how to be sexually attractive because that’s a less considered and more instinctual decision making process for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/18 10:59 PM
1

No, I don’t agree women are intentionally dishonest. But that doesn’t mean they’re self-aware about what physically attracts them. Equally, women do find very different things attractive (my best friend and I have totally opposite taste in men for example), so the advice of one woman won’t necessarily translate to a working plan of action for a different woman anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/18 10:56 PM
0

I don’t agree. My other half is a shy, thoughtful, emotionally sensitive electrical engineer who is the nicest guy I’ve ever met - and I love all of those things about him absolutely dearly. What got us together was that he is also intelligent, passionate about his hobbies (music and rugby), and is honest and direct. It was so refreshing to meet someone interesting and that I loved talking to who wasn’t playing stupid bullshit games. I didn’t find him super attractive at first sight, but by the …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 04:27 PM
1

This. My guy is maybe slightly below average (I’ve never held a tape measure to it after all), but he can still hit my cervix at the wrong angle and with the coil in that shit hurts. My only other partner was significantly bigger but was incredibly uncomfortable and we couldn’t do any positions which let a guy go deep as it was pretty agonising. Girth is more important than length IMO, as that’s what makes me feel full and at least it doesn’t hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 07:46 AM
2

I don’t find a guy approaching me offensive in any way. If anything g it’s flattering. He might catch me at an inopportune moment, in which case I may be more abrupt, but that’s not his fault. What I don’t like is a guy not taking no for an answer, or making sexual comments towards me with an audience of his friends behind him - but neither of those is about approaching a woman, one is harassing and the other showing off and trying to look cool in front of your friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/18 07:34 AM
4

are you going to mateguard her 24/7? if she's a female, guys are going to hit on her every day. at work, at the grocery store, walking down the street. she knows how to deal with it and how to shoot them down. Absolutely this. Personally, I find mateguarding really cringeworthy (although I know women who do like it) - and it’s exactly because of that. If my guy feels the need to intervene every time he sees a guy hit on me, am I not competent to go out alone? And if it’s just to be a dick to the…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/18 09:09 PM
1

Ok, fair play.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/18 11:08 PM
1

They all cost the same for us in the U.K... but there’s a definite class element to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/18 10:53 PM
1

It’s not about how successful you are (well done though, in all seriousness), but about the type of person.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/18 10:42 PM
3

Agreed. Personally, I wear makeup very rarely - but it’s going out with my girls friends I wear it, not to impress my guy. He doesn’t care, and if anything prefers me without as he doesn’t get makeup on his face when he kisses me - but the girls always look stunning all made up so I’m motivated to look just as good
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/18 12:18 PM
1

This is the key part I think!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/18 12:11 PM
1

At Oxbridge/Durham/St Andrews/Edinburgh/Exeter? Or it doesn’t matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/18 12:09 PM
1

Whereas I have all sisters and come from a huge family of all female cousins too, and we didn’t at all. Lots of manipulative bullshit (not even nastily just manipulative) but no outright straight teasing. As an adult, I have guy friends who gently tease a bit, but the sort of razzing I see between the guys would not be comfortable at all for me - and whilst I’d give it a go with mates, it’s certainly not sexually attractive in any way for me and a stranger trying that would soon see me switch of…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/18 05:31 PM
1

I’d probably get on better as a guy. I’m very direct, logical, and what gets me labelled ballsy and bossy as a woman would be dominant as a guy. Guys respect other guys who are like this, but often hate it when women do the same in my experience. However, whilst there are downsides to my career and career-family balance, I’ll admit I had it easier in my love life than guys. And I’ll never know whether I would have been as determined in that field as guys have to be to be successful. Equally, I g…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/18 05:25 PM
9

dumb cunts on twitter saying men groped them Although, groping someone without consent is still sexual assault. I worked in the hospitality industry right through undergrad and grad school, and the amount of sexual harassment and sexual assault that is normalised (and women not in a position to walk away from it) was unreal - and several women I knew from then only finally spoke up about their experiences because of the me too movement, so good has definitely come from it IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/18 01:15 PM
7

Men are viewed as being more stable when in a family unit - they rely on the income for the mortgage etc. Women in a family unit are a liability, as they'll want to take maternity leave and be the one responsible for picking up a sick child from school etc. I've watched this attitude in play with promotions at my workplace, and as a woman it's pretty disheartening.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/18 05:29 PM
1

I agree that there are issues in the system that should be resolved. Ultimately, the child is the one who benefits from the support money, not the custodial parent (unless they receive alimony too which is a different story), so it is important to ensure the child is adequately financially supported one way or the other. However, a guy shouldn’t be on the hook for a kid that isn’t his, and if it turns out down the line the child wasn’t his, id argue it’s then the government’s responsibility to r…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 11:48 AM
1

I agree that too many people place the importance on the wedding rather than the marriage. But I know that for us, we’ll get married either way, so why not wait until we can afford a nice party for the whole family? However there’s a difference between waiting and saving up for a wedding, and blowing an obscene amount of money.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 10:29 AM
1

In terms of what the money is being spent on, for us anyway it’s about who we can have there. A registry office only takes so many guests, and we both have huge families and lots of friends. Venues for receptions are expensive, and even hiring a marquee adds up. Anything with ‘wedding’ in it - dress, bridesmaids dresses, cake, tux, cars - all doubles in price. Then you have catering too. My cousin got married last year, and they married in a registry office with a sit down meal for ten after, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 10:00 AM
1

Oh definitely, it has become acceptable to live together and raise a family without marriage when previously you wouldn’t have dared. However, it’s still far from the norm, even outwith religious communities. And plenty of non-married parents eventually get married, and are often engaged for a long period - I’d say anecdotally I’ve heard the cost of weddings being the biggest block to earlier marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 01:00 AM
2

Well, honestly at first I took offense at being told my advice regarding women was crap. I am one after all. Then I sat and thought about it, and, well, my record of dating/fucking women is pretty dire, as is most women's probably. Best not take advice from us about how to get women. I will say that I'm pretty honest about my own preferences etc, and will admit what has worked on me, but that isn't the same as a woman in general giving a guy advice about seducing women in general...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 10:24 PM
1

In the UK, though, it's still the norm to get married to your long-term partner - it's just usual to live together first, and not unusual to have kids first.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 09:00 PM
1

Which is fair play. Talk about it early, and make a point it's a matter of principle, and a reasonable woman should be ok with it. The idea of my partner saying it to me once I'm already pregnant though... Christ I can't see us coming back from it unless there was a really good reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 07:20 PM
2

Exactly - a more comparable situation is you announcing you are pregnant when your SO just got the news he was shooting blanks... In which case pretty much any genuine partner would step up and reassure her hubby with the test.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 07:15 PM
2

It is insulting. Until he is paying for and raising a kid that is not his. You make a very good point, and I actually totally agree with your perspective. However, for me personally, trust is the rockbed of a relationship, and the minute the trust is gone there is no point carrying on. I trust my partner not to go out and betray me, and maybe that's naïve. But for him not to do the same, without a very good reason (like a recent doctor's results showing infertility or something that would be pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 07:03 PM
1

1) If you tell your SO you're pregnant and he asks you for a Paternity Test how would you feel? I'd definitely be hurt. It sort of implies he thinks you've cheated. But equally, depending on how he did it and his reasoning, I might swallow the hurt - for example, if he'd had a vasectomy and asked for a paternity test, I'd be like, ok, I understand the distrust here. 2) Would it damage your relationship or hinder it in anyway? Again, depends on why he asked, and how. It might be something we get …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 06:53 PM
0

While seeing fitness ads/images is common, It's not exactly pointed out that women have a visceral attraction towards attractive male bodies. It blows my mind that this isn't obvious though. I mean, surely if guys have a head-turning reaction to a hot woman, it's pretty obvious women must experience the same thing for a hot guy? The common sense part... I mean, women don't admit to it, but then that's a whole different issue. Teaching men not to believe what women tell them about dating women is…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 06:40 PM
8

My mum told me this when I was young, and since my dad is very like my maternal grandad I believed her and expected to meet a guy like my dad. But of course I’m exactly like my dad, so the guy I’ve ended up with is instead basically a male version of my mum. I try not to think too much about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/18 08:14 AM
4

I mean, with time and maturity I realised that I was putting up with things that no girl should put up with. But working on it was hard, and there’s still things that turn me right off (hence no head grabbing), and having that reduced to ‘damaged goods’ or implying I don’t list after my partner is really ignorant. Hope you haven’t let it keep you down.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 08:27 PM
4

Because half the fun (for me anyway) of a blowjob is the control you get over your man. Head grabbing stops that and makes it feel much more degrading, IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 04:02 PM
4

Well, I was basically emotionally blackmailed into it as a teenager. My then boyfriend would grab my head and thrust til I choked, despite me hating it and telling him so, and would then tell me I obviously didn’t love him and that there was something wrong with me if I didn’t go along with it. I mean, I was 17, and pretty naive, and my now partner of quite a few years now let me take blowjobs at my own pace until I now love giving them (although head grabbing is a hard no). But I went into the …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 04:01 PM
8

To be honest, I’m a feminist and I agree with this post. Bar a few small reasons that can be totally overcome (washing your dick, not swallowing the cum, not blowing to completion in cases of tmj pain, the guy stopping thrusting/grabbing head etc) and can lead to a compromise that works for both parties, a girl that has previously happily given blow jobs is probably not as attracted if she won’t give them now. The only point worth considering is that she didn’t want to give blow jobs before, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 12:16 PM
2

About sex, sure. But I’ve also seen some pretty good advice on there sometimes. Like the girl whose boyfriend was acting really weird and it turned out he had a CO leak in his flat. And telling kids with parent problems to either suck it up or become financially independent is harsh but totally required.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 12:09 PM
2

•Lots of casual sex is not empowering. It can be, for some people. •A lot of young women do not feel better about themselves after mediocre sex with some stranger. This is very true. But equally, casual sex also covers fuck buddies, and regular sex with someone you know and trust can be a great way to learn what you like and don't like and gain confidence in bed. •A lot of young women want commitment and fulfilling relationship. Yes, of course. But the two aren't mutually exclusive. •A lot of yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 02:35 PM
2

I don’t get all this tragic unrequited love. Me neither - if it isn't requited, moving on is usually pretty easy, and it needs to be requited to build into love for me. I have taken a lot of time to get over someone before - but then it hasn't been the person strictly (as in still being in love) but more grief for the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 10:11 PM
2

I think over time people become less sexually attractive, regardless of how much relationship attractiveness you build. That initial buzz of sexual chemistry doesn’t last long term. So you either have a relationship that fizzles out or one that grows into something deeper - and you can’t have that without emotional openness. IMO the big problem isn’t losing sexual attractiveness, it’s that people get married and stop making an effort in their relationship. The minute you stop working on your rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/18 07:29 PM
3

They want men to dismantle this stoicism and express their emotions, which men bottle up. But that's unattractive. Not quite accurate. It's not sexually attractive for guys to open up too soon into a relationship - that's overstepping the intimacy you've managed to create in a short relationship. Over time, however, a guy who doesn't open up can't generate the same level of intimacy with his partner, and that's very unattractive for a relationship. Myself and most of my friends have never been i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/18 10:55 AM
1

Suburban Houston, and he’s dead.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/18 11:02 PM
1

You don't need a central government to get along with your neighbors. True, but the EC isn't a central government. Because fuck you guys. Exactly why we're better off friends with the EU. Don't knock it til you try it. One of the guys from my hometown was shot just for knocking on a door to use a telephone when he went to work in the US. Why on earth would I want to live in the kind of crazy country that is legal?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/18 07:47 PM
1

Meh, better to get along with your neighbours. Last time we fell out with them didn’t end too well - and the US took their sweet time before helping out! Most of us would rather have stricter rules in the EU than some of the crazy lax ones in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/18 05:51 PM
1

Even the right wing leaders of the Leave campaign came out in favour of a second referendum this week... big money backers of the political parties are putting serious pressure on too. I’m thinking it may never happen, and if it does, it’s going to be leaving in name only with full single market access and custom union membership and thus following all EU regulation. We were about to break the Good Friday Agreement and potentially restart the Troubles, it was a stupid, stupid idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/18 04:14 PM
1

I mean, our lads wear skirts in general, so there's probably a fair few wear them to protest too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/18 12:09 PM
1

Which is why Brittan told them to go fuck themselves Yup, and we're all fucking bricking it and trying to come up with ways to reverse it... even the leaders of the Leave campaign have been advocating a second referendum this week!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/18 12:06 PM
1

Inevitably western Europe adopted socialism as a halfway house and its ended poorly. Actually, socialism in much of western Europe was a byproduct of the aftermath of the world wars. When your country is five minutes from starving, on extreme rationing, and has had to pull together to prevent complete collapse, things like socialised healthcare and welfare seem like a natural extension of what you've already been doing for the war effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/18 12:03 PM
1

They wear skirts to protest rape. I'm from Scotland - our men wore skirts to kill the English. And still wear them now, because they're nice and airy for the crown jewels.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/18 12:00 PM
16

Not the original poster but wanted to respond anyway. how would you feel if your SO suddenly started exhibiting the following behaviours I'd be questioning his motivations. Whenever somebody changes suddenly, you have to wonder what's causing it. And when RP behaviours also look like cheating behaviours, it's hard to think positively... 1) It would be taking away from the time we spend doing sports together, or from his own hobbies, so I'd be questioning why big time. 2) Again, I love him how he…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/18 11:41 AM
2

Whoevre you end up with is essentially a function of a lifetime of musical sex chairs. I've always believed in love and marriage, but I also vey much believe in this: the partner people end up with is the one they're happy enough with at the point in their life when they're ready to settle down. It isn't about finding your soulmate, it's just musical chairs, as you say. I do absolutely adore my OH and we plan on getting married eventually, but if we'd met each other in high school I seriously do…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/18 10:48 AM
1

Actually the best sex a couple is likely to have is on the first night. Definitely not true. Sex didn't even start to hit it's stride with my OH tie six months in - it was good to start with, and crazy intimate, but after a lot of trying different things, figuring each other out, just relaxing more with each other and of course increased feels associated with it it definitely got better and better.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/18 10:14 PM
1

But from an attractive man, “let’s fuck” works pretty well. Can honestly say that this has completely turned me off otherwise attractive men. Nothing less sexy than a guy who makes it clear he's not trying, it makes women feel less valued (and part of turning women on is making them feel special, after all).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/18 09:53 PM
3

This - and at least WW is hyper-sexualised but has her own agency and power, rather than only existing to be alive interest as is so common in media representation of women. On a personal note, I'm a martial artist, so seeing a woman get up and kick butt without the fight just being foreplay with a guy (looking at James Bond etc) is awesome.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/17 12:53 PM
1

Yeah kind of. My BF is the same height as me in bare feet, but most women's shoes are thicker soled than men's even without a small heel, so I look taller than him whenever we go anywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/17 12:43 PM
2

trust me you liked them Ah, did I miss that this was a troll post?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/17 12:36 PM
3

I don't know about all women, but I have definitely bailed before sex after seeing a dick that was too big for me. It hurts when a long penis rams you in the cervix - has to not go all the way in and go a bit gentler, which isn't as fun. Now, a girthy dick is a different story - those feel amazing. An average sized penis with decent girth is ideal IMO. Don't get me wrong, a penis that is way below average isn't ideal, but at least they don't make me cringe in remembered pain the way big ones do.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/17 12:29 PM
1

I'm 26, my friends range from 25 to 30
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/17 01:21 PM
2

Totally agree. The class system in the UK is totally different - you have working class, which is blue collar, then middle class, which is working professionals (mainly university educated), then you have the upper classes who have inherited wealth and usually links into the aristocracy. It isn't based on wealth - a baron could have no family money left and be forced to work, but he's still upper class, and a plumber could have gone to Cambridge and would still be working class. A lot is about f…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/17 12:43 PM
1

Good luck findind any women in their late 20s or early to mid 30s (the average age of most RPers, I would suspect) who don't already have kids Not my experience at all. I'm 26, my friends range from 25 to 30, and none of us have kids or are considering it soon. Most are in long-term relationships but only one is married. We are well educated and career professionals (quite a few in academia) though, if that makes a difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/17 12:38 PM
6

Mine grew on me. I met him on Tinder, where his pictures were sweet and made him look good fun and genuine, so I rightswiped. We then accidentally met in a club two nights before we'd planned our first date, and he was all nervous and awkward, and whilst he was cute, he was a little shorter than me (I did have small heels on) and I just didn't know. But he seemed really nice, so I went on the date regardless thinking we'd at least have a nice evening. Then, one on one and talking about our lives…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/17 12:28 PM
5

I'd agree about guys - a bit of extra weight isn't an issue, it's when they get obese that it gets gross. I carry a bit of extra weight myself, but at 5'10 and naturally curvy it really isn't noticeable and most people would be surprised if I told them that I'm technically slightly overweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/17 10:28 AM
1

I think OP's point makes sense if he's talking about chubby girls, not the landwhales I think you nailed it. It's surprising, but being overweight is so common nowadays that I bet most people (men and women) would find it hard to point out people who are simply overweight rather than obese - especially taller people who carry extra weight better. There are plenty of overweight but attractive women, although they won't be 9's and 10's.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/17 09:53 AM
3

It wasn't primarily because she was gaining weight This is important I think. Weight gain is a symptom of other things - not taking care of yourself, not taking pride in your appearance, becoming gluttonous etc. It's really unattractive in a partner if there's no real reason (eg a bit of baby weight) behind it. But a woman who is already a little overweight is a different kettle of fish. I know several women who are overweight but with very pretty faces and outgoing but laid back personalities w…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/17 09:45 AM
7

Also, fat (& meth) is absolutely the worst on early ageing Although, interestingly, being a little overweight (not obese though) makes older women appear younger. Once you hit the mid fifties and older, women with a little more weight have fewer wrinkles and appear younger than slender women. I've watched women that were less attractive when younger due to being overweight gradually appear more attractive compared to their skinnier contemporaries as they age. It's not attractive on young women, …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/17 09:40 AM
2

I never said I was the norm - I’m dating a younger guy, so statistically I know I’m not. But in my experience, I don’t know more than one or two women who have dated guys with that big an age range - and even less so when we were 18-22.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 06:15 PM
3

Did I claim I was? We all talk about our own experiences on this sub, and mine is that this is very much not the norm... There will be men in their thirties banging 18 year olds, but in my personal experience I’ve never met one or an 18 year old who would...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 05:41 PM
2

An abortion is much quicker , cheaper, and easier than having a 9 month ordeal Exactly. So they don’t have to go through pregnancy. The outcome is the same with abortion or adoption - no child and no parenting to deal with - but one involves no pregnancy too. And the point of aborting rather than adopting is that you don’t need to go through the pregnancy. Since the person bringing the person into the world has the right to decide whether or not to do it they should bare the responsibility Well,…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 05:39 PM
2

As a woman I have the option to abort or adopt my child. No you don’t. You have the right to abort and not go through a pregnancy, but you can’t decide to adopt on your own. If the father wants that baby once it’s born, as a woman you can’t give that baby up and you get stung for the same financial commitment he does. As soon as the baby is born, your rights are equal. Abortion is a way not to be a parent If you just don’t want to be a parent, why not give the child up for adoption? It will run …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 04:11 PM
2

Ok, so I personally don’t think it quite works like that. You make the decision to risk being a parent when you have sex. Either of you. Both sexes have forms of contraception they can have control over, so both sexes can reasonably reduce those risks, but neither sex can expect to be able to have sex and not risk becoming a parent. Men have bodily autonomy. They decide who to have sex with and where to leave their sperm (in a condom or in a vagina or on a face, whatever). Women can not control …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 03:43 PM
1

Ok, fair play to you. I’ve actually forgotten how this thread of conversation has gone and don’t really know what my point was now.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 12:39 PM
2

I don’t agree it’s anti-male. But I do agree that anybody having sex is taking a risk of pregnancy and the more sensible you are about it the better. I’ve never risked fewer than two simultaneous forms of contraception before my current LTR was well underway, because abortion is absolutely not something to rely on and I really, really don’t want kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 07:28 AM
1

And a Nuvaring won’t stop an sti.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 07:26 AM
1

Oh I totally agree that there are people who do it, and definitely when outside college it opens up a lot more - and interestingly, the biggest age gap relationships I know personally are girls who didn’t go to college. But here in the UK at least, post college is 22+, and if you count in postgrad (which an increasing number of people do intercalated into their undergrad as well as stand alone) you’re talking 23-26+. So I’d argue it’s mid-twenties women who become reasonable prospects for 30+ gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/17 07:25 AM
11

I disagree. At 18-22 someone over 28-30 was quite a gross prospect for all my of female friends. None of us even dated a guy more than a year older, and three of us went out with (and are now with long term) slightly younger guys. A year or two, sure, and from mid twenties onwards (once out of university) even 5 years is pretty common, but 30 was a pretty big barrier right up until we were all closer to 30 than 20...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 11:11 PM
1

Ok fair enough. That’s quite harsh. Our child maintenance laws aren’t perfect but are equally designed to keep as much of it out of the court and as reasonable to both parents as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 11:06 PM
2

Neither do women - my aunt got pregnant with a 99.9% effective IUD. But condoms are pretty damn effective, if your going to risk having sex at all!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 11:05 PM
2

Then carry your own condoms. No, it isn’t a fail safe, but then neither is any form of contraception - including medical abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 11:03 PM
2

I don’t know if the law is different on this here in the UK, but you can’t do that. Child maintenance only applies from the date of submission to the courts, so if you don’t know about your kid or have had a non-court-ordered arrangement in place then no arrears is owed legally. It encourages everyone to play nice and avoid brining the court into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 10:56 PM
2

98% if used properly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 10:48 PM
2

So women have a right to have sex without being forced into parent hood, men don't have that right Sure men do. They wear a condom. Don’t wear a condom, and you’ve handed the decision over the the woman who is now pregnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 09:56 PM
4

This is a very good point. Most women (at least that I know) think women should have the right to abort, but most say they don’t know what they’d do until it happened. I know for a fact I’d abort, despite my partner being much more on the fence, but even I admit it wouldn’t be really really hard to do. There aren’t many women who take it lightly. As a guy, it’s much easier not to feel guilt and emotional turmoil let alone physical pain and sickness because you’d be walking away, not actively tak…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/17 09:41 PM
1

This applies to pretty much all social interactions One of the reasons I felt so immensely comfortable with my boyfriend from the start was his complete genuineness and lack of stupid game playing. Reading this makes me extremely glad I found him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/17 07:56 PM
1

for guys who think "my girl physically cheating on me is just a minor fuck up emotional is worse" TRP isn't for you I don't believe Ok, so what about women who don't want to be cheated on? TRP obviously doesn't apply to women because TRP thinks women and men come from different planets. Women obviously shouldn't date a TRP guy if they don't want to be a plate. And apparently women can't date beta guys without being unhappy and cheating on them. So, what, happy relationships where people don't ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/17 05:28 PM
1

It's just that, to her, communication consists solely of people trying to bullshit each other. I think this is possibly the saddest thing I've ever read. Don't get me wrong, I do know women like this, but the vast majority don't view communication as trying to bullshit everyone else. And suggesting most women are like this?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/17 05:22 PM
2

I do the same. And feel guilty not smiling at people when running for the bus. Doesn't matter if it's a girl, a guy or a guy I find attractive: I don't greet strangers differently, unless it's very late at night, then I keep my head down and make eye contact with no one, just in case.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/17 02:09 PM
1

Coming up on three years. Lived together almost two. Discussed getting married but we’ll wait til I’ve finished my PhD, planning to buy a house together next year. Not twenty years with kids or anything, but pretty stable and happy with a good dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/17 11:45 AM
1

Ok, but you didn’t say the majority of relationships - you said that relationships don’t work like that. My point is that they do. It’s about people and what works for the individuals involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/17 05:36 PM
1

Not take the lead, because we're pretty equal, but I definitely have a lot of the traditional masculine role in my relationship. He's the one who thinks about people's feelings, is sensitive, he does the cooking, he loves a cuddle, is really open about his feelings, lets me make most of the everyday plans and decisions... he does all the 'feminine' things that TRP hates, and honestly I adore him for it. I can be a stubborn, argumentative sod, and he inspires me to channel my energy into construc…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/17 01:53 PM
1

Relationships (ONS or LTR) don't work when the man is less emotionally stable than the woman. My relationship is going great, thanks - and I'm absolutely the emotional base for our relationship. I'm the rational, logical planner, and he's the in-touch-with-his-feelings, sensitive, impulsive one. Relationships aren't predefined, preset roles that people have to fill - if a partnership works, it works.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/17 01:42 PM
1

Agreed - I have days where I can rationally read and post on this sub, and days where I don't even look at the sub because it will leave me upset.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/17 01:31 PM
9

Also, not all women are a freak in bed. I'm about as vanilla as they come - but then so is my BF, and we both find our sex life more than satisfying. So part of it is finding a good sexual match - although I do agree that settling for a guy you aren't attracted too will mean less enthusiastic and less frequent sex, definitely. Then there's the fact that sex does become less frequent in an LTR, especially once you move in together - unless you make an effort to get to bed early together or up ear…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/17 11:22 AM
1

Yes it makes no distinction between fat and muscle - but unless your body fat is extremely low and you have much more muscle mass than normal then that doesn’t affect the result. Actually, the taller you get the wider each band becomes, so in theory it under reads your fat... unless you’re extremely fit and muscled. I’m also a 5’10F, and whilst I would need to sit at the higher end of healthy BMI to be right for me (I’m very naturally busty and densely built), it is totally correct about when I’…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/17 09:45 PM
1

However, it has a wide scale of healthy BMI which covers most cases outside of very muscles athletes. It’s a very, very good measure which has a few weaknesses in specific cases, and then overweight people make themselves feel better about it by claiming it over estimates fat...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/17 09:41 PM
2

BMI is actually a really, really good way of deciding if someone is fat - it is only wrong when applied to highly muscled athletes, which is a very tiny percentage of the population. Probably a good analogy still though.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/17 03:44 PM
2

Interesting. Would be cool to find out whether the same stats applied to women with divorced parents - whether it’s strictly a marriage effect or a relationship effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/17 12:31 PM
1

What would be really interesting is to know whether there is the same trend in ending less formal relationships, or whether marriage is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/17 07:38 AM
1

Oh of course - you can’t really take intent from that kind of statistic. But it is interesting to see such a big difference. It would be interesting to see how many of these were ‘no fault’ divorces, etc, and break down those stats a bit more.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/17 07:37 AM
1

That's really interesting. Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/17 09:13 PM
1

is that a statistic? are men less likely to initiate divorce?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/17 08:56 PM
3

Without knowing, we run the mistake of conflating correlation for causation. And good relationships are hard enough without ruling people out unnecessarily. Social science is great, but the type of evidence they produce is prone to those sorts of errors.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/17 06:23 PM
5

So why is that? Why do men manage to use that experience as a ‘what not to do’ when women can’t? I know the plural of anecdotes isn’t data, but it’s an interesting background reasoning. One that won’t differentiate between sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/17 04:13 PM
3

Personally, I've seen it go one of two ways with kids of divorced parents: either it normalises divorce, which becomes an option sooner into relationship problems, or else it stands out as a 'what not to do'. My OH's parents divorced as a pre-teen, and he hated the way they fought and blamed each other and ruined his childhood so much that he has been absolutely determined not to do that to his kids! if anything, he's been slower to jump into things, more open and honest as a partner than anyone…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/17 10:30 AM
7

This is a very good point - men look for sex, women for relationships (very generally speaking), and therefore a guy's SMV and woman's RMV are the things they want to improve about themselves and complain about when they can't find a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/17 12:15 PM
2

Probably C? I mean, I want to have a family, so being single forever would mean never having that. Neither A nor B sounds at all nice, and whilst C is hardly an ideal relationship, I could start a family based on non-sexual compatibility and a fabulous friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/17 01:45 PM
1

We're pretty annoying sorts of folks. Or just me. I'm annoying.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 09:23 PM
1

I'm an ENTP myself. What's the insult for that one?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 09:13 PM
1

You know what, it can if he isn't doing it JUST RIGHT. My clit gets really picky on days when my brain isn't engaged - the first little while feels kinda nice but not super amazing, and then it just gets AWESOME, but if he's got the timing wrong, or changes rhythm or direction or goes JUST TOO FAR LEFT at the wrong moment then it kind of fizzles out. I'm normally pretty good at just giving him directions, but there are some days when my brain works against me and it's an uphill battle and on tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 09:11 PM
1

Ok cool, please carry on insulting with my wholehearted support.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 09:04 PM
2

Mine just asks if I'm arguing again. Admittedly he's just happy I'm arguing with someone else and he doesn't have to turn the sound up on the TV so he can't hear me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 08:56 PM
2

Like fungus on feet.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 08:55 PM
1

Nope, not just you! If I'm not really mentally turned on, then it starts to feel like this, and once I notice that my brain is out and I'm just thinking about the cobweb on the ceiling that needs dusting or about the next bit of reading I have to do for uni.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 08:46 PM
1

You can be both. Not all autistics are introverted. (I know this is banter but just wanted to stick my oar in)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 08:38 PM
1

Cool conspiracy theory. Don't worry, yours is better. And you manage to be much more rude, dismissive and unable to properly debate, so you're winning all round tonight.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 08:35 PM
1

I mean, talk about ouch... I would be halting that pretty damn quick.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 08:30 PM
1

No, but it was sheer luck if you had decent sex! There's a reason women were taught to lie back and think of England, and called it 'doing your duty' - sex was considered something you had to do to be a decent wife, not something you were expected to enjoy as a woman! There's a reason it's called liberation.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 07:51 PM
2

Considering I have a vagina, yeah it is a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 07:49 PM
2

Ok yeah, on that I will agree - you need to be at least a solid purple I think to be a decent dating coach.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 07:13 PM
0

They could just as easily fuck more aggressive foreigners. Not if the stories told by some of the guys in my kendo club that have spent 6 months to a year training in Japan are even vaguely true... Japanese girls love tall white guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 07:06 PM
1

Sexual compatibility is AUTOMATIC Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. No it isn't. Instead, because people don't know any better, they just think they hate sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 06:56 PM
3

Although many women like having their pussy destroyed What, childbirth? Fairly sure no measly dick ever destroyed someone's pussy. Squeezing a kid out of it on the other hand... and yet that has nothing to do with one's n-count after it becomes a positive integer.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 06:51 PM
1

Which sucks. But would they still strike out if they saw a professional who could tailor advice to improve their dating strategy?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 03:30 PM
1

Not at all. I just have anecdotal evidence of it being successful, of course, but seeing a dating coach and getting better at dating afterwards is a much less tenuous link than yours. It's more like saying two guys went to med school and suddenly got better at surgery.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 03:30 PM
1

This is true. Higher stakes socialising.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 02:32 PM
1

I haven't met the guy - tailored advice to an individual works far better than general advice, and why a dating coach is a good idea...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 02:32 PM
1

But it can be effort in the wrong place if your dating skills suck - which without a single date they must. There's as many things that can be physically unattractive in women as men. Unattractive guys maybe need to consider aiming for less attractive girls too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 02:31 PM
1

As I said, two of my good friends have had real success with this. It seems pretty good advice to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 02:28 PM
2

I mean, you have to be reasonably rp just to admit that you have to improve yourself and your dating skills to be more successful at dating. But not all of them are evo psych nutters that think we should go back to the 1950s.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 02:27 PM
1

Well, if you don't want to be successful dating them then you don't. I mean, nobody has to date? But if you want to learn how to to the best of your ability, then a dating coach is the way to go IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 02:25 PM
1

There are women in the bottom quartile too. Lower your expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/17 11:37 AM
3

Well, two of my mates used one after getting to the end of college without a date. The guy basically gave them the harsh truth, talked then through how to improve on their weak areas, and then helped them through a load of different dates with a brief and debrief. One of them ended up in a long term relationship and the other has enjoyed dating around since. It's only a sample of two, but certainly their guy improved their dating skills hugely.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 05:19 PM
3

This is true - someone is going to be at the bottom of the bell curve.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 04:59 PM
2

Yes - dating is just socialising with the chance of getting laid if it goes well.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 04:52 PM
3

Yup. Works, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 04:51 PM
2

Or improve your social/dating skills and get a girl who wants a personality more than a face? Just as likely imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 03:30 PM
1

If you're in the bottom quartile then yeah, you're going to have it a lot harder. But it just hadn't ever occurred to me for guys really - probably because things like shoulder width, height etc are more sought after than facial features. But I guess it just depends if it makes the guy happier or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 03:09 PM
2

Ouch. I mean, hey, it might work, but seems pretty drastic.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 02:33 PM
7

Not all of them. Certainly not in the eco psych, treating women like shit sort of way. As I said two of my mates have done it with success and the guy they used was really sounds apparently. In the sense of being proactive and blaming your approach rather than women for dating failure? Yeah, that's RP in its mildest and most palatable form.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 02:31 PM
6

I really don't. I assume you aren't, or you wouldn't need to learn how to nail all the other aspects of dating - attractive people get away with more mistakes than the rest of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 02:29 PM
1

I agree. I used to be really awkward, unpopular and with an odd fashion sense, and never got any dates. Then I came to the conclusion that I might as well stop chasing acceptance and enjoy the stuff I enjoyed and at least be happy that way - and suddenly I got more friends (doing things I wanted to do I met people that enjoyed them too!), met more people in a casual way that improved my social skills, and slowly started getting dates. I went on a lot of casual dates before I found a relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 01:39 PM
7

That's not dating help, that's sex help... I mean, the two overlap a lot, yes, and for guys who are struggling with lack of sex rather than lack of romantic relationships a prostitute is also a good option tbf.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 12:30 PM
9

Exactly. Personally, I think half the problem that people (both men and women) have with dating is a lack of practice. Practice brings both personal confidence and also less emotional investment in new dates (the plenty more fish attitude) - but of course, people have to start getting dates to get any practice, Catch 22. It's just those initial steps that cause all the problems and need the handholding. And it's so hard to tell what people are doing wrong. Is it their dress sense, personal hygie…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 10:55 AM
1

Yes. And I've experienced this plenty of times.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 10:37 AM
27

There actually is. But you have to pay for it, which is why most guys don't. It's called a dating coach. Worked really well for two of my guy friends who are lovely and more attractive than average but were just weird when it came to dating and did really stupid shit that made me cringe when they told me. A professional who can help you present your best 'you' is always going to be better than advice on the net - I would rather a careers advisor looked at my CV than Reddit, and a lawyer look at …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/17 10:03 AM
1

I'm not put off by men who are shorter than me, because I still feel comfortable in myself if I'm the taller person in a relationship. Some women don't. It easy to see it's the same with guys, only reversed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/17 07:18 PM
1

In my experience, I've dated a fair few who have only been able to articulate why they don't like me wearing heels (making me even taller) as being because they felt less manly. Lack of attraction is one thing, and likely a big influence in many cases, but when your own feelings about yourself and your manliness are affected by the height of a girl... that's intimidation, not just lack of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/17 05:39 PM
1

Which one? The tall one or the really tall one? Edit: And don't say both, that'll be too hard a sell.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/17 03:39 PM
2

Men are definitely heightist too - as I said, my friends and I have all experienced this. Plenty of women are too, I'm sure, but men most certainly can be very horrible about women's height - although the opposite end of the height scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/17 03:27 PM
1

And what does that have to do with my comment? My type hasn't changed, that's the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/17 03:16 PM
3

Women kill their own damn kids in cold blood God knows what they'll do with someone else's kids That went from zero to crazy in no time. No one said women are wonderful, but most women won't worry about the kids not being hers - what's more of a problem is how much the mother is still in the guy's life. It isn't a 'thing' for women to be weird about raising another woman's kid in the way it is for guys - and if RPers etc are so adamant that biology and evo psych makes women and men so different,…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/17 10:40 AM
3

Actually, really not. You rarely meet women who worry about the guy's previous kids, even less if the guy is happy to have more kids. I really don't like kids at all, and even then I'm not bothered about dating a guy with kids if he's the right guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/17 08:44 AM
1

Myself and my two best friends are 5'9, 5'10 and 6'1 respectively, and tall men definitely have an advantage over talk women. Plenty of guys are intimidated dating a girl taller than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/17 08:40 AM
3

Can't talk about all women, but my type hasn't changed as I've aged. I've always preferred guys my own age too, so youth hasn't really been as big a deal to me - and for the number of women who date older guys, I'd argue that youth matters less to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/17 08:35 AM
1

But you yourself say indirectly bullied. My whole point is that men are more direct about bullying as a group than women are. Equally, women are kind of conditioned to avoid groups of men when they are alone, so that directness comes off even more physically intimidating. I'm not assuming men don't feel intimidated by majority female environments, but it's a different kind of intimidation IMO. Men tend to intimidate physically, where women tend to do it mentally.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/17 06:40 PM
1

Very true, but women are generally less upfront about it. Women are used to passive aggression and sideways competition, bitchiness etc and walking from that into a male environment where it's much more physical (and by that I don't mean necessarily hands on, but in terms of body language, eye contact, personal space it can feel much more physically aggressive) is incredibly intimidating. I bet guys who have never had to worry about how or who they say things to find a female environment just as…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/17 02:06 PM
7

I think whenever you get a mainly single sex environment, it has a different feel to a mixed sex one. I know the uncomfortable feeling of it myself, and I've had male colleagues experience the opposite. There are differences between big groups of guys and big groups of women, obviously, and part of it is to do with the specific workplace culture too. For example I've met male nurses who've said they've never had a problem, and female engineers, so it obviously isn't every unbalanced workplace th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 03:27 PM
13

Because they way guys interact in a male dominated environment is very different to a female one. They are harsher, more competitive, and the chances of experiencing casual sexism increase. I'm not a particularly feminine girl, and yet in the very male dominated chemistry lab I'm in now, and the heavily male dominated subject dinners I attended at university, I felt like I stood out a mile and was very much excluded from the 'lad' environment. Worth noting that I'm not a boss myself - as a femal…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 01:47 PM
2

Oh I totally and utterly agree. But I think when guys are in the minority or even worse the only guy in the workplace, they don't feel able to stand up and say that. In exactly the same way girls struggle to call out casual sexism in a male dominated workplace.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 01:43 PM
6

Because where it's just awkward for guys, it's downright intimidating for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 01:03 PM
17

Having worked in both library services and animal care which are hugely female-dominated, the guys definitely complain. My only male colleague in my last job kept himself to himself because he 'never knows who is on their period, but there's always someone either raging or crying'.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 01:02 PM
3

People really don't appreciate how much a teacher affects their students.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 12:32 PM
3

but not GP's Totally disagree with you. My dad's life was saved by a GP last year when he came back from abroad and started getting feverish and coughing a lot. Turned out he'd picked up a tropical disease, and whilst he developed pneumonia on his first night in hospital and was on a drip for two weeks whilst they tried to find out which bacteria he'd picked up and how to treat it, he could have died had he left it a few more days or the GP not been really thorough and had a flash of insight. I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 12:17 PM
5

I left high school in 2009, and from the age of 14 15% or less of the pupils in my physics classes were female. My physics teacher at 14 and 15 made lad jokes, could be crude, and made sexist comments about women to try and be funny - we were working through a class problem once, calculating acceleration distance of a car, and when I raised my hand with an answer he laughed and said that women drivers would be a whole different answer and picked one of the boys. The guys all loved him and though…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 12:08 PM
1

This is because you aren't a kid person. True and not. I'm a big animal person, and get a big buzz from spending time with and training them, and yet it still takes a lot of effort to properly look after dogs and horses. The dishes comment is probably more of a clue than the 'kid person' thing. I absolutely hate housework, as does my partner (we're ENTP and ENFP, neither of us into the mundane) and that's probably why a small hurricane of a child would be a huge mental and physical drain for us.…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/17 12:19 PM
3

The best bit about them not being yours is feeding them sugar and then handing them back, for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/17 02:37 PM
2

Yeah, the only thing worse than babies is the under-tens... I genuinely have so much respect for my mum now - she was so incredibly patient with my whiny, constant-shadow-type little sister which honestly I couldn't have been (and wasn't at the time either).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/17 01:53 PM
1

Exactly. Once they're at school/daycare it becomes much easier, but where I am anyway young kids are only in nursery for a few hours, and first few years of school only from 9 til 2.30, so it still isn't a full day to yourself, just a chance to do all the chores you juggled around the kids being there before, and have to run back and forth to school/care so not time to really get stuck into anything. It isn't a full time job by any means, but it isn't a walk in the park either.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/17 09:15 AM
7

To be fair, it's a full-time job in that somebody needs to be watching that kid all the time. And when they're babies, the constant cycle of nap, cry, poop, feed without much chance to properly sleep is pretty exhausting, but that does end. And I know I find my full-time job easier than entertaining demanding children, let alone all day every day with little adult interaction. And I say this as an adamantly child-free feminist. Being a SAHM would be my absolute nightmare.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/17 08:31 AM
0

This. If you find someone attractive (and this doesn't just mean 'hot guys', this means charismatic and able to build chemistry too) then you're way more likely to be receptive. If a guy persists when you don't find him attractive (and this can be a mood thing as much as anything), then it becomes creepy quickly. I've had more hot guys hit on me and not back off when I reject them, therefore I've found more hot creeps than unattractive ones. But it meant that, for whatever reason, I wasn't into …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/17 11:06 AM
2

I mean, call it civil partnerships and divorce it from religion, maybe. But I can't see a world where a demand for a monogamous, marriage-like institution won't be there, with all of it's legal protections and also that element of commitment. Maybe less than a third of the population will choose it, but I think it will still be present.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/17 09:57 AM
3

I would agree that marriage is going to dwindle until it is no longer the norm - but I don't think it will completely die off. The legal framework of marriage is too protective in terms of both assets and rights for it to completely disappear. Tax breaks, protection for SAH parents, rights as each other's next of kin, equal division of marital assets, rights over children etc all provide an easy, well understood legal framework for a serious relationship that to imitate contractually would be a …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/17 09:12 AM
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