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azucarleta Archive

View 1 post and 334 comments by azucarleta on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

azucarleta/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 03:51 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Be more strategic, I think. School counts. Counts as apart of your day where you encounter new people who could become friends or romantic partners. But aside from school, sounds like you have not built a life that entails much incidental encountering of other people. So that points at 1 of 2, or both solutions. You gotta "get out there" somehow, so if you don't want to socialize IRL we do have dating apps. Many straight men especially find them exasperating, and yet people keep using them and m…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/26 05:27 PM
0

I know familiarity destroys my concept of "levels." Inevitably almost, I think the person I know is way more attarctive than this date they have brought for me to meet, who I never met before. I think my lizard brain just skeptical of new people lol. Meanwhile in couples where both are strangers, I tend to think the guy is usually on a higher level than the gal, but I'm a homosexual man -- so who am I to judge the "level" of a woman's appearance? Absolutely no one, that's who. THis is me OP symp…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/26 05:01 PM
0

It's so hard when the intimacy between parent and child is already lost, or never existed. This dad should not have such open questions, and you should not have "come to the conclusion," it's so sad there is no open dialogue. Now I realize I sound like a Pollyanna who doesn't have kids of her own, and that's true. But your friend needs to gain his son's trust, so the kid will just tell him specifically what is going on. I just don't see how anyone can suggest anything other than that. Your concl…
/r/ExRedPill21/03/26 03:08 PM
1

I am a non-monogamous oriented person and sometimes things I say come off as unwelcome by monogamy-oriented people. That's probably exactly what is going on. I want to have long term relationships with people, and having a primary partner comes pretty naturally to humans it seems to me, but 1, I don't want to be my partner's only intimate/sexual connection they may have, I just simply don't want that responsibility, it's too much, call me a demisexual if you must, but that's too much pressure to…
/r/ExRedPill03/03/26 06:59 PM
2

maybe so. Surely there are demi-sexuals and asexuals who have so little sexual desire they don't want many kinds of partners or even more than one. Fine. But that wasn't apart of the scenario OP asked about. I mean, if OP wants to add on that my solution will not work for him because his partner is asexual and so she definitely does not want more than one partner, well, ok, I could take another crack at it. But the point is just that it's quite human and not worthy of negative judgment that even…
/r/ExRedPill03/03/26 05:15 PM
1

yeah, this sub got weird at some point.
/r/ExRedPill03/03/26 02:45 PM
-2

You're welcome. IDK why people would downvote your post. This sub is really annoying honestly. If it's supposed ot be welcoming to people coming out of Red Pill spaces, why is everyone so quick to downvote and such.
/r/ExRedPill03/03/26 12:30 AM
-1

I would just say settle for reality that she wants both. Just as you want many partners, and different kinds of partners, probably also so does she. Now you might have cultural or religious reasons for long term strict monogamy, and so may she. in which case, she still wants the alpha dude as some fantasy, but not necessarily more so than she wants you. It's just under the cultural confines of monogamy, she had to pick one, she chose you. But she is human; she wants many partners, and many kinds…
/r/ExRedPill03/03/26 12:11 AM
1

Idk what you are seeing here. To tell someone how much their actions hurt you, instead of just "manning up," that's manipulation to yall? This sub is really weird sometimes.
/r/ExRedPill06/08/25 01:12 PM
-8

It's the sort of thing healthy relationships do to build intimacy.
/r/ExRedPill05/08/25 11:36 PM
-12

Well, you definitely can share with her how much this shook you, I think you should. Maybe playfully tell her that now she's in debt, she has to make it up to you, atonement, penance. That might sound sorta weak, but play it jokingly and confidently, like you have this sword of Damocles over her now, and some day you're gonna ask for a favor (like the mafia lol). This was a genuine fuck up on her part even if she meant no harm.
/r/ExRedPill05/08/25 08:09 PM
11

Strange question, but how much casual nudity have you experienced in your life? Like communal showers at a gym, or school or something? Maybe nude beaches. Skinny dipping with friends. I'm guessing very little or none. Which is understandable, i was always nervous as fuck about being naked with other guys. But then I started going to this community gym in an old building, and the shower is one big communal situation, with only one shower stall that was for disabled people. It was basically expos…
/r/ExRedPill05/08/25 06:51 PM
8

The problem with online advice is it is not customized to you and your circumstances. Advice peddlers are grifters looking for money one way or another, and to get money all of them sell the lie that universally applicable advice exists, that every guy everywhere has the same game and rules to learn, and that's how fundamentally down low the hogwash begins with these creeps. Dating advice or guidelines for people in their 40s and the "after divorce" age range is going to be so different than nor…
/r/ExRedPill23/06/25 04:26 PM
1

Exactly my sense. And people who ignore it aren't going to gather here. They may be vaguely anti-RP, or latent/potential anti-RP -- as in they would be anti- if they knew more and cared more. But as you say, I think they just ignore it, and no conservative I'm aware of has stuck their neck out to explian -- from a conservative perspective -- what is so horrible about Red Pill. Not even church pastors, and shit. I just literally never heard a conservative give a shit about it.
/r/ExRedPill12/04/25 02:21 PM
-1

This is a subreddit for folks who are exRedPill and folks who care about people who are ex-Red Pill, to discuss what comes next. No woman or gay man has ever tried to apply Red Pill strategies. We already know that is a (skeezy) guy-on-girl quasicrime.
/r/ExRedPill12/04/25 02:19 PM
1

I realize conservatives do not accept RP ideology -- if they have any idea what it entails, that it even exists. Does Joe Rogan talk about Red Pill? Do many conservatives really know what Andew Tate is all about? Maybe so. I'm not so sure there are masses of conservative people in this sub. Maybe I'm totally wrong. You dOn't think this sub 'leans left'?
/r/ExRedPill12/04/25 02:35 AM
1

honestly I was not aware that any great number of conservatives were aware of Red Pill to oppose it, as in "anti." I can't imagine conservative media shows like Ben Shapiro spend time shitting on Red Pill? Or maybe I'm wrong about that. I was (unchecked) assuming most conservatives would be mostly unaware of it mostly, because their thought leaders as far as I know don't rag on it. So now I know.
/r/ExRedPill11/04/25 09:34 PM
-5

"the normal way of moving through life." I'm sorry, there was a time in this sub where the top voted comment was a lot more insightful than just citing normativity. That's not helpful. That's not even totally valid (from my queer perspective). I think you're being simplistic and dismissing someone who is asking about social skills , they are skills, and they are learned, and what you've said and all these people upvoted is not helpful.
/r/ExRedPill11/04/25 08:36 PM
1

For sure, I know. She just has charisma. She's the only person I'm close to who I can reasonably imagine having the screen presence to make a serious business enterprise out of it. I would never do youtube for free long term, it would have to become a revenue source for me to stay interested. But yeah, whoever sticks their neck out ot be like "here's better advice than RP and why RP is so wrong" and that's their brand not just a one-off episode, they're going to take a heap of abuse, women even …
/r/ExRedPill11/04/25 08:33 PM
8

Take many naive players who know nothing about Chess previously, merely teach them the rules of the game only -- no strategy -- and even still some will excel over the others. They all have equal knowledge. No playbook. STill, some will excel, and some will really struggle. Logically your argument is, If some people are more successful at dating than other, that means there must be a formula the good ones are following that the unsuccessful ones don't know." But that's not how it works. Because …
/r/ExRedPill11/04/25 08:15 PM
7

That's not even how Chess works lol and there are very deep playbooks.
/r/ExRedPill11/04/25 08:06 PM
7

Friend, definitely if you knew how to talk to women -- it takes practice -- some of them will have the courage to tell you that sexual compatibility is very important to her. Then she might briefly tell you about a past relationship she had with someone she was not sexually compatible with, and so that made her feel like she learned her lesson there, she learned that sex is important to her. A woman might most definitely say that to you. Are you simply after one night stands? My advice would be …
/r/ExRedPill11/04/25 08:05 PM
-7

?? "it's a big tent." The examples I gave were not exhaustive. edit: What has become of this sub? I don't understand you people anymore. I'm pretty sure I'm the same me lol
/r/ExRedPill11/04/25 08:01 PM
-8

It makes sense to me. It's talking the left/feminists/anti-RP gaggle, it's a big tent. It's addressed to anyone who denounces Red Pill.
/r/ExRedPill11/04/25 07:15 PM
0

I totally agree. So much so I even tried to talk my friend into a youtube show -- she the face, I the ghost writer -- coaching young people but a focus on men, on the same topics RP tries to cover. She didn't want to do it, and no wonder. She didn't want all the attention a youtube channel would bring her, especially if the topic is sure to gather a sky full of flying monkey trolls who might constantly bombard comment sections, etc. The last thing you say is actually interesting. We can't tell y…
/r/ExRedPill11/04/25 07:14 PM
1

You don't need time to explain if you simply had a link that begins your explanation, but I guess your knowledge is so singular and special there is no link like that that you can provide. Maybe someday you can let me into your inner sanctum of privileged information and I can see the wisdom you already have.
/r/ExRedPill31/03/25 03:50 PM
1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfbRHhOCgzs&pp=ygUJc2FiaW5lIGFp I don't always agree with Sabine but her skeptical views on AI are pretty defensible.
/r/ExRedPill31/03/25 03:44 PM
0

No it can't. AI doesn't even understand that if you drop something it falls to the Earth. The "AI" we deal with today was trained entirely on words and has no concept of the world whatsoever. It doesn't understand the world. It understand how words are strung together statistically, and can rearrange using those statistics to make impressive sentences (that shouldn't be relied on for anything).
/r/ExRedPill31/03/25 02:47 PM
6

The big mistake is just thinking that a truth in general, is a truth universally. Some women have idiosyncratic taste/filters for hookups. Two, the second mistake is assuming each woman will judge "looks / status" by some identical measures, and so if you lack "looks/status" you're just out, but that ignores that some women will judge "looks / status" in personal, idiosyncratic, or unexpected ways. The woman closest in my life is a demi-sexual, but has also done some hookups. She was not picky r…
/r/ExRedPill30/03/25 03:47 PM
15

I'm a little impressed with GPT here -- and I"m usually scathing regarding its "intellgence." It keeps repeating -- importantly, don't ignore it -- its answers only apply to "hookups." Which, the way I use that word, it means no-strings-attached sex. Have your brother ask about how to develop healthy long term relationships. And if he thinks taht sounds boring, have him ask the bot what is the value of healthy long term relationships versus a string of hookups? I think what you are missing is hi…
/r/ExRedPill30/03/25 03:29 PM
10

I mean, look.... I think there is a kind of entitlement. No shame. I just don't think you are entitled to any particular person or type of person. But I don't think having sex, partnering -- all that -- those are rites of passage everyone should be entitled to experience. But not if you can't convince someone to experience them with you, that's a key part of the rite, gaining consent and persuading.
/r/ExRedPill04/03/25 04:30 PM
4

is it?
/r/ExRedPill04/03/25 04:08 PM
29

It's a rite of passage. And they feel entitled to it. How did that happen? Patriarchy basically.
/r/ExRedPill04/03/25 04:06 PM
-2

My biggest pet peeve is people who are wrong AND rude/smug about it. Add in when people are wrong and rude collectively and for some reason i can't help but volunteer at the lynch mob.
/r/ExRedPill01/03/25 12:25 AM
-2

Oh come on, read the comments fairly. People are telling OP he's just wrong, that doesn't happen. It's not true! it's actually quite common in religious communities. I don't care how immature and naive I look because I'm right. YOu haven't had these experiences, I have had experiences and understand how this happens, and I presume Op probably has as well. And instead of saying "oh interesting you have those experiences" people said "no," "that's not true," "you're wrong." LOL Y'all are sleazy in…
/r/ExRedPill28/02/25 11:20 PM
0

Of course there are -- no, not denying that! It wwasn't even a question, so you're confusing me even bringing that up. Refresh your recollection of OP's question. "Why are men who have never had sex painted as right-wing misogynists?" One reason I can think of is that some of them are deeply religious, and in parts of the world where there are a lot of deeply religious people, this is a reason people might think of 30-something virgins as likely rightwing and misogynist. Make sense now? I'm feel…
/r/ExRedPill28/02/25 10:50 PM
2

In religious communities, there is always a satellite community of less committed or ex-members. I'm in Mormon country, for example, there's a thriving ex-Mormon network and culture surrounding the dominant Mormon culture. If two people both with Mormon backgrounds, but different relationships to it today, like the woman is more out of the church than is the man, and she finds out he's a virgin, 9/10 she's going to be right jumping to conclusion that he has dreams of being "sealed in the temple,…
/r/ExRedPill28/02/25 08:48 PM
0

I said "WRONG OR GASLIGHTING" lmfao. I did not even say "and/or" merely OR!!!! Seriously wake up and have some coffee.
/r/ExRedPill28/02/25 04:18 PM
-1

You all have no religion in your life, I guess (lucky you). A friend of mine, his brother is 30s, unmarried, Mormon and a virgin. With all that provided, there's about a 90% chance the dude is right-wing. And guess what, he is. Same, if you told me a dude is 30s, unmarried, Mormon and rightwing, I would say in that case there's a 99% chance he's a virgin (or claims to be). It's a stereotype for good reason, many people fit it. Many hardcore religious sects "save it for marriage" and many people …
/r/ExRedPill28/02/25 03:43 PM
0

My first comment was that you are "wrong or gaslighting." Because for me "gaslighting" has to be intentional. So either y'all are just wrong, or you are intentionally manipulating us, i.e. gaslighting, by telling us our experiences aren't real, we aren't experiencing what we say we experience. And wtf, aliens? Fucked up dude. If someone said "women don't experience sexism any more than you were abducted by aliens," how many accusations of mansplaining do you think you could collect?
/r/ExRedPill28/02/25 03:25 PM
0

I'm not. I'm acknowledging that others much up these concepts.
/r/ExRedPill28/02/25 03:23 PM
-1

Duh. The experience that i and OP have had is people mushing up the concepts together. In religious communities esp, virgin is associated with conservative. You should just listen about other people's experiences that you don't have, rather than telling them they are wrong.
/r/ExRedPill27/02/25 11:21 PM
-6

I think most people don't realize that men are gaslighted about their experiences all the time, so it comes off as a wingnut claim. This sub used to be sensitive to that sorry of thing. Op and I are saying "we experience X" and the responses are "that's not real," you are wrong, " and the implication is we're seeing things that aren't there. That's exactly what gaslighting is.
/r/ExRedPill27/02/25 11:19 PM
-4

No. I've used it in its original incarnation. My accusation is OP witnesses A, and you all are saying "A isn't real." That's gaslighting, i guess you didn't know.
/r/ExRedPill27/02/25 11:11 PM
-26

That's not helpful. You're wrong or gaslighting! Virgin/Incel/Right-wing is a conflation many many many people make many many times. I don't think you can empathize with a leftwing virgin in his 30s. This shouldn't have upvotes, it's totally gaslighting. You are denying his real experience in the world. Is this sub not smart anymore? It used to be really smart. I think y'all need to believe people more and empathize more.
/r/ExRedPill27/02/25 05:15 PM
4

AI doesn't give good answers, so I disagree. I think people impressed with AI often don't know the difference between good answers and bad ones.
/r/ExRedPill27/02/25 04:59 PM
1

Traditionally, only people who followed the rules of the patriarchy closely were "saving it for marriage." And that's a conservative impulse, to follow the rules of the patriarchy closely. However, it's a newly emergent thing that we have men embracing an identity around their virginity. So that identity is still forming, being fleshed out, understood both by those who choose the identity and those who don't. Cultural negotiation, you might call it. Whether "incel" becomes a term that means one …
/r/ExRedPill27/02/25 04:27 PM
1

I think plenty of happy people are absolutely prejudiced, hateful, powerful, and manifesting their prejudice in policy and law. I used to think everyone was as miserable as I am, but now I realize: so many of these assholes like shit just how it is, they are not miserable and in denial, they are actually mostly enjoying themselves here and now, even when they are complaining, in important ways they are enjoying that, too. The thing to remember is in their minds, they are the hero. SO they don't …
/r/ExRedPill24/01/25 10:46 PM
13

It's so funny to think "the red pill is wrong" or that "the red pill is right." People really out here thinking in these terms lol. The Red Pill is garbage bro. Don't think in terms of correct/incorrect.
/r/ExRedPill10/12/24 04:19 PM
4

So why do we sabotage our own well being? Not to be glib, but it's the patriarchy. Among other things the patriarchy did/does was delineate inheritance. First born son. This creates instant hierarchy beyond men over women, and immediately establishes a hierarchy of some men over most other men. Dad > First born son > other sons > daughters. Men therefore out of a historical cultural tradition, peck at each other -- or worse -- in an implicit effort to move up the pecking order. Since there's alw…
/r/ExRedPill24/11/24 04:38 PM
-1

Oh yep
/r/ExRedPill23/11/24 12:56 AM
-7

"why should i bother caring about your problems when you do nothing to solve mine???" I understand this sentiment though, at this point. Too many people think there are "women's issues" and men don't care about them, and men better not speak to them or include themselves in them. Whether its men or women erecting walls, I'm against that. Men want abortions; they want their unplanned pregnancy aborted, let's say. We should educate men about their stake in that and sell them on the need by explain…
/r/ExRedPill22/11/24 11:02 PM
2

This is low-brow crap content. Would be better if it did not exist.
/r/ExRedPill22/11/24 04:47 PM
3

He's on-screen talent and former sales experience, apparently successful. So he has maximum charisma and confidence. He's not extremely nerdy looking, he's kinda cute. I can't find a picture of him with his shirt off, so who knows about what lies beneath. But a nerdy but charismatic guy who surprises with an athletic healthy physique, whose not going to go for that? I think she probably hooked a guy with money because she grew up with money. And I'm so cynical, I think this guy probably has mone…
/r/ExRedPill13/11/24 10:04 PM
12

I think she's a voice for hire, who has very little center. Someone who is swinging between MAGA and Bernie Sanders, is just not a mature person, or they are manipulator who will say whatever they think will keep them paid, which -- get it girl, we're all surviving capitalism somehow -- but that means for the rest of us we take her as an entertainer, not a real commentator. Think of her a topical comic, not a political/ideological intellectual. I think "problematic" is not too strong a word.
/r/ExRedPill31/10/24 04:08 PM
2

Bro I think I know how you feel. It's how a lot of autistic people feel. Not trying to reddit-diagnose you already (OMG), but you may want to start exploring whether autistic neurology and the coping mechanisms we've developed to work with it, could help you out. Also, a lot of folks (it was the opposite for me actually), but for a lot of folks getting a diagnosis can be very affirming and help people forgive themselves and accept themselves. For me, being diagnosed as a grown-ass adult felt lik…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 03:18 PM
13

I mean, I can't help you with desire to be "conventionally attractive," but you should work with your therapist to stop wanting that. Get underneath it, why do you feel that way so strongly? Who hurt you? some people ask glibbly (sorry if that's disrespectful). But the suggestion is that your desire here may not really be about what it seems to be about; your desire to be conventionally attractive, for example, may be an outgrowth of never feeling accepted by your parents. Work on that wound, an…
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 07:28 PM
-1

Oh boy, casual sex needs defending? Lots of people have different styles, techniques, "tricks" you might call them, and having a lot of partners means collecting many of these methods. Doesn't that sound... amazing? Should I go on? Of course there are also many prices to pay and burdens to bear having casual sex, no question. But the cost benefit analysis leans heavily toward casual sex is really amazing.
/r/ExRedPill19/10/24 03:41 PM
2

So your buddies are taller and can reach fruit higher on the tree. It's an advantage because if they want to, they can grab low hanging fruit, or if they prefer they can get fruit higher in the tree. You might have to stick to low-hanging fruit. I.E., women of marginal attractiveness might also be into casual sex if you approached them. It's funny to me that people who talk about "leagues" and, what did you call it?, a "god tier face card" and such, don't explicitly address the elephant in the r…
/r/ExRedPill19/10/24 03:38 PM
1

I think it's a fine point, but in order to observe it, one has to -- even temporarily -- consider that red pill is more or less correct or astute at genrealizing women's behaviors, and I don't think any generalization of women's behavior is correct or astute. Any generalization is sexist, nearly, unless you are saying all women breathe and eat food and shit, well then yeah, that's correct and astute.
/r/ExRedPill16/10/24 03:58 PM
4

Seems humans are inherently comparative and exclusivity-seeking. That is, it seems to me, at a base level, humans are driven to have and deprive others. Not just to have, not always to have and share, but very often human seem driven to have and share with the in-group, and have and deprive of the out-group, both in equal measure. There is no conspiracy, there is just humanity.
/r/ExRedPill18/09/24 03:45 PM
1

Personally I went to therapy for awhile for this very thing. Spent a good amount of money, felt a tiny bit better, but underlying issue remained. Later found out I'm autistic. And trying to go to therapy stop feeling like this is not an expectation I am wise to have. That is to say, my condition is permanent and terminal lol. And the therapy I was doing was misguided. Now whether you are able to feel differently, or whether you have a more immutable situation you are dealing with but haven't yet…
/r/ExRedPill18/09/24 03:42 PM
0

I think most everyone in a relationship "settled for" what they got, my pal. Learn to settle and you won't be alone. Settling is mature and realistic and nearly universal. Now, some folks might push back and reject this, but it's all semantics, isn't it? I'm just not very romantic. When you can't be with the one you love honey, love the one who will take you.
/r/ExRedPill12/09/24 10:56 PM
4

Dog breeding is the Platonic form of eugenics. The "pure breed" dog system is extant OG eugenics. Genetic testing fetuses for abnormalities and terminating the ones with red flags, that's a modern practice most people deem totally ethical that is in so many ways a borderline-eugenics type thing. Not the stuff you said.
/r/ExRedPill02/09/24 02:58 PM
2

It's not a sensitive metaphor, but science shows people usually end up longterm with a partner who is judged as basically the same level of attractiveness as they are. So it's certainly not mythical nor only a product of toxic ideology, it appears to be a real toxic aspect of humanity.
/r/ExRedPill12/08/24 02:40 PM
6

I'm an American myself, so I don't have that answers. I'm also just not an expert on these policies. I would invite you OP to expand you're curiosity beyond states. Yours is a fine question I believe, but I think a lot of important cultural and policy work is done at a smaller scale -- tribe, school, township, club, workplace, etc. And that's also the level where if we're lucky enough to make a change in the world for the better, in all likelihood we'll be doing it at these lower level instituti…
/r/ExRedPill03/05/24 09:36 PM
7

I think maternity and paternity leave protections/guarantees is a big one that the USA just lacks. Impacts women more because they are more likely to be single parents, but it's an everyone issue--everyone who wants to have kids, at least. And even if you don't want kids, for me, as a happy child-free person, I want strong parental leave options/protections simply so children are raised better and I'm not forced to live around under-attended semi-feral neighborhood kids. Most wealthy countries o…
/r/ExRedPill03/05/24 09:14 PM
2

I think the "numbers game" thing is super real. The trick is to put yourself in environments where "cold approaches" are expected. Dating apps, for example, which have their problems, but so many people do meet their partners on them. Also a nightclub or party, these are sort of inevitably places where approaching a stranger is regarded as normal. You may get turned down, of course, but that's the numbers game. For my taste, but I'm just one person, a "cold approach" from a stranger whether its …
/r/ExRedPill03/05/24 05:22 PM
5

I would think even the women marines are sort of sexist and fucked up in what they expect from men. Don't forget that women are often the police and reinforcers of machoismo.
/r/ExRedPill25/04/24 04:22 PM
3

Dude here, but I suppose I don't count because I'm homo (?). I always think of this place as a landing spot for someone who has decided to exit. I don't really feel any sub can do much to make that decision or process easier or faster for the dude. He's on his own timeline and this sub is here when he's ready for it. I don't think message boards "help anyone to exit" as much as provide community for someone who has done so. You might say I'm defeatist and just evading responsibility, but frankly…
/r/ExRedPill24/04/24 05:46 PM
3

Maybe just reconsider how your words, truthfully expressed, make other people feel. "I want to lose my virginity" makes other people feel objectified. Own that. Own that your true feelings honestly expressed make others feel bad. And ask yourself which is more important -- the ongoing unchecked unfiltered insensitive ways of expressing yourself, or would it be worthwhile to learn to speak more sensitively and maybe hurt fewer feelings? Is any of this work yours, in your view? This sub is a place…
/r/ExRedPill23/04/24 03:36 PM
2

Andrew Tate is not a great model. Think wholesome Jordan Peterson. Strive for that. Otherwise, GREAT! ive tried to convince a friend to be the face of a channel like this, and i produce. They turned me down.
/r/ExRedPill17/04/24 12:39 AM
4

Caliban and the Witch. Should be standard ex-RP reading.
/r/ExRedPill15/04/24 01:34 AM
6

At this point of deevolution of all these trends, it's all the "Manosphere" dude and it's patently misogynistic. It's the Misogynistic network. That's what they all have in common. That's what makes them worthy of being grouped together. Sure, there is nuance. But don't jump to the conclusion that nuanced difference matter. Sometimes one poop is slightly browner than the other (Nuance), but they all still just shit my friend.
/r/ExRedPill07/04/24 03:04 PM
5

I've never heard of a man who believes in the concept of "pick up artistry" who is not a misogynist. The concept goes beyond problematic. I think your point of view is problematic because its obviously help you excuse and validate some very sketchy characters. Better to think the manosphere and the Red Pill as synonymous and dismiss it entirely as misogynist ignorance and often hate.
/r/ExRedPill07/04/24 02:46 PM
5

So as an outsider, the manosphere commentators you have praised below are essentially Red Pill as I understand it, toxic masculine males. I'm not sure what you think of RP but "the manosphere" and "the Red Pill" are the same thing to me. You're trying to draw a distinction that has no difference. Now there are many men on youtube who don't do men's content, and they're fine. But I'm not aware of a single man who has "mens issues" as his channel topic who isn't a completely uneducated arsehole. W…
/r/ExRedPill07/04/24 02:12 PM
7

Today eh? I was pretty sure someone who lost respect for them only "today," and only over this issue, is probably is not all that substantially ex-RedPill. Then I read some of your comment replies, and yeah, it's pretty obvious you don't see the grift. In this case, what I mean by grift, is a congame. They have gained your confidence that what they have to say is valuable, when it it is not, but you keep watching their show for this empty rhetoric they espouse as wisdom. There is no "legit" mano…
/r/ExRedPill06/04/24 05:50 PM
-3

Call me cynical, but do another graph where you presuppose the man is very very wealthy and generous, and then see how short they will accept. The point being it's about the entire package, in real life. These survey answers are being give in a vacuum. Short may not be desired, but you can overcome it. You don't have to be wealthy, but it could also be great body, great job, good father, whatever.
/r/ExRedPill29/03/24 09:58 PM
1

IDK what channel you're talking about, so I googled "youtube sports channel" and I got this, to which nearly 75 million people are apparently subscribed. And it looks like pure sports and sports news, not social commentary that I see.
/r/ExRedPill28/03/24 06:49 PM
1

When I show interest, I usually am rebuffed. Do you think it's possible you are being unrealistic in your choices of who to pursue? Don't ask yourself who do you find attractive. Who you find attractive has been poisoned by media -- perhaps -- and you may need to reorient your sexual attractions away from pornified women. IDK your relationship to porn, etc. Inevitably your suitable partner is about your class (Comes from a relatively similar family wealth and education). Unless you're outside US…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 08:30 PM
1

Ok, but what is going on then? Do you have any sort of handle on why you struggle? I mean, there's a big difference between someone who has had multiple months-long relationships, but has never made it past a year, and can't understand quite why. And someone who is too nervous to ask people on a first date. Forgive me if this is pure prejudice, but so many men who arrive at this subreddit have been lead to believe they should be able to access very elite women. And the "red pill" often tells men…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 07:28 PM
2

As someone who struggles, and just got dumped not long ago by someone who does not struggle, I'm over that. I've lost faith that people who do not struggle "get it" or care. They don't. Most of my friends already were strugglers, and in the last year I lost two more friends who were not. All this to say: I'm really only interested in people who struggle. Struggle to survive, struggle to fit in, struggle to want to live year after year, yknow? This is the type of person I want because this is a p…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 07:18 PM
1

It would help if you knew what is the root of what is going on. For example: People tend to hookup with people from work, church, maybe social scenes, etc. But people tend to pair off/hookup/marry people who are just in their midst (although dating apps are of course big too). Soooooo, if you have some limitations, maybe you don't interact with people as much as others do, so you haven't got those built-in social encounters. If this were your problem, I'd advise you to orchestrate social encount…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 07:07 PM
2

YOu know those interviews are just created to make you upset. Editing is very easily used to manipulate an interview to make it incendiary. I can't really take your question seriously when that's its root. It's a kind of "garbage as the basis, garbage as conclusion" type of situation.
/r/ExRedPill05/03/24 08:08 PM
2

Also, OP, check this out, and then realize that all of those links -- just about -- can be looked up in archive.org or simply seen in the "cached" on Google. Your profile isn't empty at all. You gotta burn the whole username.
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 05:16 PM
5

It's just dumb that it's gendered. I think this is really true for men, women, cis, trans, het and homo, and everything in between. Also the word "despised" comes out of no where and makes the whole thing seem very juvenile. Good discussion starter though. Too bad so many downvoted rather than being like "huh, interesting idea."
/r/ExRedPill22/01/24 05:13 PM
9

oh I found it! Comment incoming. Men don’t peak at 40. There’s only a small minority of men who look good at 40. Most have receding hairlines or are balding, have beer guts and are generally overweight, many have a poor sense of style and are broke or working shitty jobs.It’s only a minority who still have all their hair, athletic bodies, and have the type of lifestyle, career and finances that can make a 40 year old actually be considered successful and high value.The guys I know who at success…
/r/ExRedPill19/01/24 11:48 PM
12

I have some tips for him on conduct. One can "debate" but still debate in a way that you are asking to be convinced. This kid starts out that way in his OP, but the in comments is just annoying, contrariness. I don't know if this person really understands what they have asked for. Given their OP, they really should be asking questions in comments, not being combative. The very top exchange I see OP have is the following: EXTRP: Start with not all women are the same. The red pill describes a mino…
/r/ExRedPill19/01/24 11:43 PM
9

That's all some sexist shit, that's true OP. I don't know if you are fairly characterizing was really went down and what was said, but the way you characterize it that is some sexist unnecessary stuff. Honestly the concept of "loser" itself is pretty problematic. In a society that oppresses so many groups of people unfairly there should be no shame in struggling. The term "loser" really sucks. And if the conversation is gendered, then it becomes sexist, yep. But OP, maybe consider whether you mi…
/r/ExRedPill19/01/24 11:26 PM
2

I grew into asexuality. I used to be hypersexual. I still mostly know how to meet and befriend people via sex (lol) so I'm now trying to navigate how to meet/date and befriend people, without using sexuality to do it. BEcause when you have sex on the first date, people presume you are sexual at least, if not hypersexual, and frankly--that's just not always true. I used sexuality for approval and to gain someone's interest long enough to become friends with them. Even when my behavior was hyper s…
/r/ExRedPill21/12/23 05:36 PM
3

Ok, I'll just disclose. I'm being pursued by a simp as I write this. He's head over heels in love with me and offering me his whole world, and if I were a manipulative bitch I'd just take the money and run. He's not doing the Nice Guy thing, at least I don't think that's fair. He's really vulnerable and desperate, not guileful and manipulative. What he's doing is faaaaaaar beyond "nice" and I don't think he has teh self-sorry resentment that "peopel say they want nice, but they don't actually." …
/r/ExRedPill10/12/23 06:46 PM
0

Yeah, as in "only fools rush in," true. But that's just too general. I think it's important we have a word for the concept I defined. If it's not "simp" then it should be something else, because it's a common phenomenon and whether you are the simp, or being pursued by a simp, it's useful to be able to call it out and address it before the stakes are so high and inevitbaly someone is going to get hurt.
/r/ExRedPill10/12/23 04:36 PM
0

Oh my. Well, that's gross, I never heard that. What is a better word for the definition I provided? What do you call someone who falls too fast, too hard, too soon and needs to be told to 'slow down'? Am I just forgetting a basic term we already have for this? that happens sometimes. Because this can all happen so fast the beloved who takes advantage may not fully realize the problematic nature of the dynamic until some serious extraction has already occurred. Because the simp has expectations o…
/r/ExRedPill09/12/23 09:43 PM
4

I just use it to mean someone who is way over-willing to invest and contribute to a new relationship with someone who is not reciprocating. Like for examples: falling in love, rescuing your beloved from financial ruin, and providing immense emotional support---to someone you met 2 weeks ago who just isn't that into you. Poor simps. Am I way off base? That's what I thought it meant and to me that makes it a useful concept, and doesn't need to be gendered at all, much less sexist, if we step back …
/r/ExRedPill09/12/23 09:38 PM
5

I use "simp" and I'm a hardcore feminist. It's a useful concept. I don't know the other term
/r/ExRedPill09/12/23 06:38 PM
4

It's edgy. People want to hate and shame, I don't know what is wrong with people, is it the nature of homo sapien or just our god awful society, IDK. But suffice to say, whoever is remotely acceptable to tease, bully, or shame, they will be teased bullied and shamed. And don't be so sexist. Men are also liking this bullshit. It's a human thing.
/r/ExRedPill08/12/23 10:57 PM
1

I thought Chads were just attractive and successful, also charismatic, and thus sought after, but OK. You have a new take on "Chad;" new to me, at least.
/r/ExRedPill04/12/23 08:11 PM
9

So relationships do suck for most people. Modern life sucks, no one believes in anything, we don't know who we are anymore, and have no idea why we work so hard. As a society, we've lost our "why," as in--why are we even doing all this or anything at all? Societal nihilism is eating away at everything holy and sacred, including love, family, clan, community. Capitalism socially atomizes people into individuals, where they are more easily managed and encouraged to breed. This is the role of the p…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 03:42 PM
10

The mens rights movement, and that subreddit, has always been men who have some legitimate gripes misplacing blame and hurt. Patriarchy is bad for everyone. Patriarchy is bad for men. So men have every reason to want better social justice for the unique ways patriarchal societal norms and values baked into all our social systems treats them. Men are mistreated. Mens rights advocates though who blame women or feminims, instead of blaming the patriarchy, are just angry misogynists who got cognitiv…
/r/ExRedPill20/11/23 10:21 PM
-2

It's called "mating strategies" theory. When you got time for a rabbit hole, look at the multidisciplinary theory of mating strategies. The theory is essentially that humans have a primary mating strategy and a few alternative ones, but just about everything about all human behavior can be explained by these. Other animals too; like I was just watching a nature show and the big bad powerful masculine cuttle fish do not succeed at breeding as often as the smaller, tricky ones who make half their …
/r/ExRedPill14/11/23 05:38 PM
-1

Ah, well. You see, men respect the masculinity in another man due to physical prowess especially in regards to his ability to fight and dominate. Women on the other hand most primarily look to masculinity as a provider of goods for a family/children. An otherwise masculine gay man, thus, is fool's gold. And the ladies are laughing at their own foolishness for having jumped to a very false conclusion that because he got the right size chest or whatever that means he gonna work hard and put all th…
/r/ExRedPill14/11/23 03:11 PM
2

Theories are highly evidenced. Even if the evidence isn't good. What you've got is a conspiracy hypothesis. You'd have to do a lot of nutso-cuckoo research before it became a good conspiracy theory.
/r/ExRedPill11/11/23 03:31 PM
2

I thought they got demonetized. Isn't that the end of them?
/r/ExRedPill11/11/23 03:24 PM
1

It's a satire, friend. Sometimes proponents are so stuck up their own ass they don't realize they are the best parody of themselves imaginable. Sometimes as time passes they realize their clownishness and have a bunch of humiliation wash over them retroactively. edit: to be clear, my best guess would be some closet case trans folks who have a lot of interalized transphobia operate the channel. This is some weird psychological salve making the ideation of transition safer and more comfortable, ir…
/r/ExRedPill06/11/23 04:27 PM
5

Are you using the terms incel and femcel to mean literally involuntary celibate? Because that definition has become moot long ago. Incel refers to a very online breed of misogynists who organize around the ideal of being "involuntarily celibate," hence the name, but we don't stick with that definition because the people referred to as "incels" are more than merely involuntarily celibate (they are also "very online," and misogynist, otherwise there is a better word to use, like say lonely). Do in…
/r/ExRedPill06/11/23 04:25 PM
3

To get good answers you gotta explain what clues that he is amazing you see despite the "deep in this pill shit." Whatever goodness you see in him is the map to how you might talk to him about this. That, and if he is amazing and maybe he totally is, he'll just grow out of it on his own -- this isn't going to stick to someone who is actually amazing (sorry, I'm not a very optimistic, generous person; people fall into this because something is already so seriously wrong and folks who are well adj…
/r/ExRedPill28/10/23 06:06 PM
12

He's tremendously insecure and afraid to be alone. So he's bullying you into being his b----. That's pretty much why any/all people like it.
/r/ExRedPill18/10/23 03:08 PM
2

I do like the emphasis that "Nobody is perfect." But I'm always pushing for our over-arching understanding of these issues to be "we all suffer under patriarchy." Yknow, we really need to stop pointing fingers at each other and start ganging up on the power structures that encourage us to act poorly, discourage or disallow alternative lifestyles, etc. "Nobody is perfect" is true and fine, better than picking sides int he battle of the sexes, but the really important point to emphasize, I think i…
/r/ExRedPill27/07/23 03:11 PM
1

"'Man's World' ... is basically what the patriarchy is." I think that understanding invites a lot of confusion and defensiveness, it invites this dumb counselor to feel it's a legitimate position to believe the patriarchy isn't real lol. Men suffer innumerable indignities under patriarchy, always have, regardless of what extreme privileges some experience. Patriarchy is bad even for the sake of men and boys--terribly so. When we foreground these facts that usually are not in dispute but frequent…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 02:52 PM
3

Start with the fact that most people of Euro-American backgrounds -- and more -- inherit their surnames from their father, and their father his father, etc. Play the "why?" game, as in "Why do we inherit our names from fathers usually?" When you come up with an answer, then ask "why?" again, and so forth, for about 5-6 maybe 10 layers, ymmv. That would be the "proof" I guess. That it exists isn't really a good debate or question for which to find proof. It's silly internet shit. Because it's a c…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/23 07:44 PM
1

They draw an important distinction. It matters HOW one goed about being a slut.
/r/ExRedPill08/06/23 01:00 PM
5

I think you are very generous -- and probably correct -- in reading of the unspoken intention. You've added so much to the critique the original comment left out. But if you simply read the comment for what it is, it's slut shamey hell. Sorry. The commenter could do better, that's all. You've convinced me you are correct in their intention, but I maintain my critique of their execution lol.
/r/ExRedPill07/06/23 03:40 PM
11

social science show most men would say yes to a random woman asking them in public to have sex. You don't learn anything from just asking for sex. Meanwhile, men have to create an emotional connection and make a woman feel safe to get sex, there's a learning process here which can teach things you're not wrong entirely,but if you think this is "learning about relationships" it's like... um... you're something worse than wrong. It's too possible you're just learning to diabolically scheme, manipu…
/r/ExRedPill07/06/23 02:23 PM
-2

Ah yes, let's start slut shaming, it wouldn't be life if we didn't start becoming the thing we set out to criticize.
/r/ExRedPill07/06/23 02:22 PM
5

It makes you good at understanding how to get laid, is all it does, or demonstrates you know how. Hell, I've fucked 100s of people, and none of that helped me with relationships. Being in relationships helped me with relationships. Not fucking. Like... duh?
/r/ExRedPill07/06/23 02:21 PM
3

Well don OP spotting the pretty simple falsehood. The RP content creator is neggin'g their own audience. "Women don't like men under 6 feet, (but stick with me and maybe there's a bit of hope for you yet.)" Ironically, by digging at the audience's low self esteem, which they came to this channel to improve, they need more and more of the channel's advice. As long as the viewer doesn't recognize this is going on, it's all money fam.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/23 02:22 PM
1

i feel ya bud. it's tough. i went through something so similar myself and thought about it this way, but I've had a change of thinking about it all. chat me up anytime.
/r/ExRedPill02/06/23 08:34 PM
1

mostly some of that is fair, but why are you cussing it at OP? I think they asked quite smart questions that are crucial for any of us who have identifiably black pill people in our lives. I've met 10 to 1 more black pill minded people.
/r/ExRedPill02/06/23 08:32 PM
2

Very good questions. We got a thinker over here! I don't have time to avalanche my thoughts but I want to so bad! I'll just have to say: following and brb.
/r/ExRedPill02/06/23 08:30 PM
0

No joke, I need money for therapy. I'm on waiting lists for subsidized. If you want to help out, I'll send you my paypal. If you aren't willing to help someone get it, shut your effin mouth about therapy, it's brutally ugly and anti-social when you put it that way. It seems safe to assume you've hurt a lot of people at least with your words in the past, probably because a lot of people hurt you. Try to get it in check, break the cycle. And really, if you are willing to help, and you're not just …
/r/ExRedPill01/06/23 04:20 PM
–

How bout realize you are still in the cult if you still think "undateable" is a useful word. Don't think in these terms at all. I'm not debating your claim. I'm debating whether you or anyone should even be thinking about such a claim, and for me the answer is No.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 03:07 PM
2

A very big-brain nerd answer, for anyone interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS-hOpY-bFY&pp=ygUVcmVkIHBpbGwgbm93IGFuZCB0aGVu
/r/ExRedPill31/05/23 09:11 PM
-1

(Shrug) disagree. I'm thinking people in their teens and 20s especially. There's a lot of drinking, drugging, "i genuinely don't remember most of that" "cheating" which i always find so stupid that people get upset about it. Now, when someone is drunk and doesn't realize they, say, raped someone, im a hardliner like you about that if course, that can't be excused, that didn't come from nowhere, isn't safe, is unacceptable. However, consensual sexual drunk stuff often to me does not have that int…
/r/ExRedPill31/05/23 01:32 PM
0

That's not my experience. Being monogamous is normative, and most people start out trying to adhere to normative values. Before you figure out you can't, you'll be honestly trying to be monogamous because that's what "good" people do, but hopefully you realize it's not worth it, won't work, etc. But there is usually a span of time before you've figured out it won't work where you try to make it work -- and it feels really restrictive. I think you should be more generous. Not everything is a sad …
/r/ExRedPill31/05/23 03:57 AM
2

One more point: I come from the queer perspective that in many ways gays and lesbians of the 20th century, we invented ethical non-monogamy (at least in America), we didn't give it a name, and it took cis-hets to create a version of it they like (which brings with it some baggage) and the name for it they chose was an awkward psuedo-scientific conglomeration of Latin and Greek (lol), Polyamory, but it's what queer people been doing all along when we had to hide and shit. I don't really like that…
/r/ExRedPill30/05/23 07:14 PM
2

I actually don't love that term as there are certain people -- in the subreddit, eg -- who think it's capital-P Polyamory, and their church-like bureaucracy (mostly of old farts older than me) gets to define and gatekeep the term and what counts as ethical within it. And I don't like how they count very often, let's say. So I prefer the term non-monogamous, or ethical non-monogamy, out of respect for and repulsion from, those folks. They don't like a term they feel they invented (there's a lot t…
/r/ExRedPill30/05/23 06:52 PM
6

Dude... put some freaking blocks on your phone. A bad media diet will poison your emotions just as easily as a bad nutrition diet will give you diabetes. I think you owe it to yourself to break harder with these channels. You are given your background and emotional state, susceptible I guess to absorbing what you know is toxic BS. It just sounds like you need to discipline yourself to just stop with these channels. And consider becoming non-monogamous with other partners who are into non-monogam…
/r/ExRedPill30/05/23 06:37 PM
2

Can we please nix "status" ugh. Let's switch it to appeal please. I'm going to. An unappealing male feels the need to stand his ground. Like everyone of every sex and gender has been tired of macho jealousy since, IDK, the 1980s? It's not in fashion, it's probably not ever coming back in fashion. A actually appealing man knows he's got assets (his kindness, his companionship, his cooperation, etc), so the right ones will come back to him, and he doesn't need to sweat it (long) if this one doesn'…
/r/ExRedPill29/05/23 08:25 PM
10

It's super receding. I was worried years ago now when it wasn't showing any signs of collapse yet. It's all but over, bro, just moppin up the mess.
/r/ExRedPill28/05/23 02:13 PM
15

When dating, I hear "entrepreneur," or just any young person starting their own business of any kind almost, sounds like code for loser/lazy with excuses, anti-social doesn't work well with others, dreamy-eyed/idealistic/unstable and hopeless, and/or a pretentious rich kid. It's a red flag for a creep, dude. Stick with your job.
/r/ExRedPill20/05/23 05:09 PM
0

Maybe the acronym "PUA" was born in the 90s, but the art is at least a century old my friend, c'mon. I just don't know how you all draw boundaries between epochs and eras. I think you must be young and I am relatively ancient. (edit: I would argue most sexual politics we recognize today emerge from the early 20th century/modern era crushing the old feudal patriarchy and the cultural practices that made sense to perpetuate agrarian feudalism, but simply did not make sense to perpetuate modern cap…
/r/ExRedPill19/05/23 02:27 PM
-1

You straight people think funny. You think you are different than queer people when really you are just behind, developmentally delayed, are just younger like an emulating younger sibling. My mistake, though, i guess, for the time being.
/r/ExRedPill19/05/23 01:20 PM
1

Prove it.
/r/ExRedPill19/05/23 01:19 PM
3

You don't think this (NSFW link) is a thirst trap? I think you should just explore male sexuality more if you think they don't pretty themselves up to attract mates and succeed in doing so.
/r/ExRedPill18/05/23 08:07 PM
4

Women usually don't want 99% of the attention they get. It's a different set of frustrations and difficulties. But at the end of the day, it's your choice to wallow in your self-perceived curse to be a miserable soul trapped inside an undesirable unvaluable male body. Dude, I wish you coudl hear yourself. I would tease you mercilessly, but I think just underneath this confident self-hating veneer, you're just sad and confused. I wish you the best of luck.
/r/ExRedPill18/05/23 07:47 PM
5

You realize someone who wishes to maximize profits is the host and intermediary there? Isn't it obvious that this parasitic intermediary is interested in causing the parties as much trouble as possible in seeking their objective so as to maximize use of the app, so as to maximize profits? Your experience on apps is a construct, no more real that a Haunted House at a traveling carnival. Go into the apps knowing that the parasitic host has infected the medium and made it so you have to message 100…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/23 06:49 PM
3

LOL, that's your values, your choice to believe that. There is no truth to that out there, in reality, the world we share together. You've created a world for yourself, perhaps, that stems from your mind and is so powerful it surrounds you at all times like a bubble. But it's not real friend. You can just choose to believe your companionship is valuable -- forget men, women, all that shit. Decide YOUR companionship is, or is going to become, valuable. Guess what? If you succeed, you'll find your…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/23 06:39 PM
3

Everyone has their companionship to give or withhold. If you don't think your companionship is something valuable to win, no one else is going to think that either, and it probably isn't. So the trick is to 1, make your companionship a real valuable prize, and 2, believe in yourself that you've done so, or that you are making strides at least. good luck!
/r/ExRedPill18/05/23 06:27 PM
-1

From my perspective it was Female Dating Strategy that brought the terms "high value man" and so many others ("pick mes," etc) to the mainstream. I really had no idea about anything we now formally call Red Pill content or ideology when I was already pissed at FDS and having fun critiquing their burning shit takes. I think I became aware of brand-name Red Pill content (to distinguish it from all "score culture"/"get laid" type content that has existed forever). Sorry boys, but girls are always w…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/23 02:04 PM
1

Is like feet and shoes my bro. Find a partner that fits just right. Simple as that. Don't stress.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/23 06:39 PM
3

who can afford therapy though?! This isn't really a realistic thing to suggest to people. At $150-200/hr if your provider doesn't take insurance, and many people pay around $60 per 1-hour session as their contribution after insurance. And if you're waiting to get therapy paid by Medicaid, good luck. In many communities, the waiting lists are immense. You still get to draw your line where you like, offer only the help you can offer without suffering yourself (edit: this is me "seeing the full pic…
/r/ExRedPill02/05/23 10:12 PM
1

Gut reaction: because some guys won't get vulnerable with what is bothering them until it has lead them to some very bad behavior, now they are being held accountable for that bad behavior, and only now does the guy suddenly whip out his childhood trauma, or whatever. This doesn't just have to be guys, btw. All people can kinda hide from accountability behind legit trauma/wounds that need care, but are not getting it. But the question for these people is whether they are taking care of themselve…
/r/ExRedPill02/05/23 10:04 PM
6

Correct! The main purpose is just to sell the lie that people are predictable, consistent and mostly want the same things, a "high value" partner -- ergo the advice giver has something really valuable to give you. But then if you ever challenge them on this view, they will all give differing details (passively acknowledging the concept of a "high value" partner can't be too specific because we all have different views on what we want/need from partners. It's not only mot and bailey, but the whol…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/23 03:23 PM
8

The Body Keeps the Score. Edit: before you say, "but I'm not really traumatized," understand by some understandings of the word "trauma" like 60-80% of people experience it and few get it meaningfully treated.
/r/ExRedPill28/03/23 08:54 PM
7

Here are some suggested replacements. Gym - it's fine, use boring textbook type materials (avoid influencers) like exrx.net to educate yoruself. Looksmax - I think indulging our desire to become more attractive only backfires and digs secret holes into our self esteem. That said, lookism is real, so maybe a few tips in this vein might help your life, but overall most people are just self-hating and learning to self-hate here. NoFap - study sexual medicine directly. ISSM has a good youtube channe…
/r/ExRedPill21/03/23 09:29 PM
1

I hated his hot take on Ms. Lauryn Hill, but otherwise I've liked everything he's done.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/23 03:17 PM
1

I don't really understand any prospective but this one. To this question.
/r/ExRedPill05/03/23 02:17 PM
4

Very interesting observations, thanks for sharing. I do think education fosters solidarity. What a nice thing to read.
/r/ExRedPill01/03/23 09:53 PM
2

The movement is its people, not its papers. This would be fine if there were any movement to speak of. Occupy Wall Street was a movement. Black Lives Matter was, to the extent it's ongoing, is, a movement. Movements are divergent from the social norm. Feminism is mainstream dude, it is the social norm, for better and worse. People who fully embrace not being feminists are so side-lined and relegated to second-class status we have invented a slur for them "incel" and they can pretty much only sho…
/r/ExRedPill28/02/23 03:42 PM
1

That's very generous of you, and I mean that. I guess I lack that patience and generosity at this point. I was made aware of the term and concept "toxic masculinity" way before the mainstream, in the context of gendered/domestic/interpersonal violence. What folks seem to misunderstand about the concept is that it is itself a generous explanation to help men explain their statistical humiliations and low points. "Toxic masculinity" is the answer to "Why are men on average more violent than women …
/r/ExRedPill28/02/23 03:28 PM
3

Men themselves, let's specify for this point: white American men with money, even they could not rent a hotel room, could not get teaching jobs for example, had all kinds of limitations placed on them, if they did not marry. This is because the patriarchy is an elitist tradition they created and imposed on the working class to ensure reproduction of surplus labor! Anti-patriarchy/feminism is not a game in which its men vs. women ffs. First of all, an increasing number of people identify as neith…
/r/ExRedPill22/02/23 03:51 PM
4

Thanks. It felt like a bunch of SJWs with just enough info to be dangerous, and way too much enthusiasm to take on the world. Now don't get the wrong idea, I am a social justice advocate, a longtime oldie one. And it's frustrating when older generation folks get these young yappers who just got chewed out about something last week, and already this week they're turning around using it as a lecture against others. It's just so--like, swipey, combative. I think everyone knows that we can all becom…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 08:16 PM
3

The post was on the topic of "obsession with masculininty is ruining many gay men's enjoyment of life" which is true. As a middle age gay man, I've got some input on this yknow. I simply commented that people should consider exploring kinky sex as a way to decenter masculinity or play with it, to feel included and desired really no matter who you are, not feel you have to conform to the masculine ideal because many in kink scenarios do not, etc. And it went down hill from there. First people wer…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 07:54 PM
2

I'm interested in talking to the dudes who have custody issues. I agree with them that at times and places -- frankly they are becoming far fewer and much further between than they used to be -- where being the father works against you in family court in the USA. I'm interested in talking with these folks and I thought in a so-called "left wing" space we would talk about those issues in solidarity with women, as solidarity is to me a core leftists value. Am I being oppressed? Let me count the wa…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 06:35 PM
2

Of course I associated inceldom with right-wing politics. So I thought a mens advocacy group explicitly for the "left wing" would be a good fit for me, probably no typical incels in a group labeled such, I thought. I've since seen survey data that show incels lean left, actually, in most ways we traditionally measure such things. But I'm not sure which definition of "incel" and "left" was being used when that was discovered and published, so I'm not going to defend this idea, it's just one I cam…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 04:47 PM
1

I've had multiple posts and Cookeville removed by mid recently. You can read my outdoor is you want details or receipts.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/02/23 01:17 AM
1

This sub seems very fragile. I can go through this slideshow and agree with it in its entirety. But because I think the concept of "the patriarchy" has value to understanding mens issues, and intersectional feminism is also very powerfully useful, I'm not really allowed to be myself here and speak about issues the way I see them. My mere solidarity with these issues isn't valued because I don't have the right ideology (catch the double entendre, please).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/02/23 07:10 PM
1

Thank you for this thoughtful comment. I saved it for last to respond to, because it is the best one. Again, thank you. I did feel oppressed by my parents as a child. I watched my older sister be demonized as she entered adolescence. I myself was autistic and homosexual -- and no one knew any of that when I was a child -- and my parents were bible-thumping Christians who are today acolytes of the MAGA movement. The nuclear family as the fundamental building block of society fundamentally fucked …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/02/23 03:40 PM
-1

well then I have news for you. There is an entire contingent of feminists who would also support gender-neutral rape laws. I absolutely support that type of progress and I am very much a feminist. Most feminists realize and concede that gendered rape laws hurt boys and prisoners, first and foremost, but other men who are raped as well. That said, I don't appreciate or recognize as valid any defense of gendered rape laws. And I am a feminist. AMA lol. I'm not sure why you don't find the myriad fe…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/02/23 03:22 PM
-5

OP's evidence is irrelevant to the argument OP is making, by any understanding of the patriarchy I recognize. OP and I, politely, have different views of what the patriarchy is. I don't recognize the concept, looking at it through OP's perspective. I'm left wondering, does OP think patriarchy is the claim that men are always privileged over women in every situation? Because to me OP is presenting evidence that men are sometimes disadvantaged despite their gender or because of it. But.... that's …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/23 08:58 PM
4

Lesbians were huge proponents of legal changes on behalf of gay men and gay male couples who were dying of AIDS. IN part, out of pity and charity, but also out of a shared recognition (solidarity) that same-sex couples deserve more rights around end-of-life care, inheritance, child custody, etc. And if lesbians advocated for gay men, they would benefit, too. And they did. That's just one example.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/23 03:39 PM
1

Let me start first with why I speaking with denigration of the nuclear family: it is a product of the patriarchy and it absolutely failed me miserably. My parents and I -- we were a terrible mismatch, misfit, they could have been decent parents to others kinds of kids, but they weren't capable nor interested in doing what someone like me needs. I would have done much better in more matrixed organizational styles like tribes and clans. That way I could have gravitated away from my parents toward …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/23 03:33 PM
2

We naturally have the capability to be violent. Environment, upbringing, trauma, intergenerational trauma, etc., all combine to dictate whether someone behaves violent none, a little, or a lot.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/23 05:11 AM
1

I think it's your very first sentence that needs a citation.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/23 04:58 AM
-8

Can I ask you something? At the most fundamental level, what belief or value makes you a leftist? Like for me, (1)(a) I believe people to be fundamentally equal. (b) I also believe in the existence and perpetuation of marginalizing social structures -- like class or race -- that have been used for generations to empower some people over others -- which (b) is anathema to (a) -- ergo I subscribe to (2) social justice ideologies. I believe people are equal but society enforces inequalities. So if …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/23 01:39 AM
-11

that's not how they present it at all. Intersectional feminists do not present feminism the way that you hate. Have you given intersectional feminism your fair consideration?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/23 01:20 AM
-1

Patriarchy and capitalism developed in a feedback loop with one another, each coloring how the other operates and presents itself. Ergo, most men who are patriarchs at home over just a pathetic little family unit, are still mostly dis-empowered and exploited workers in greater society. Even on the most micro level -- the nuclear family -- men traditionally under patriarchy are empowered over women-- that much is true. But those men at the bottom of society who are merely a boss daddy over a fami…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/23 01:15 AM
1

Patriarchy harms far more men than it empowers. Patriarchy isn't built for the betterment of all men universally, i thought that was obs. I think its crucial men see their stake and self interest in being anti-patriarchal. Anyone who thinks in terms of "battle of the sexes" type feminism is problematic. Most men and boys stand to benefit greatly and have a huge stake in weakening patriarchy.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/02/23 05:21 PM
2

Some people who are not conventionally attractive choose to be self confident anyway. It is a choice at the end of the day. And there's many things to be confident about: your health, skills, personality, whatever is your art and poetry my dude, do it with pride and confidence. And spread self- sprouting self- esteem in others as well. Good luck.
/r/ExRedPill09/02/23 04:34 PM
6

"Alpha" can be apart of fun sexy games if everyone's into it. It shouldn't be 24/7 anymore than, like, any other costume you might wear for sex games. At least, lots of gay dudes like it, and bet more women would like it too if there weren't so many cis-het patriarchal hangups that make it so complicated over there. If someone doesn't realize their "alpha" is a disguise ("all the world's a stage"), a second-nature disguise at best, it can be extremely annoying.
/r/ExRedPill12/11/22 03:11 PM
1

It's not just women dude. The way you go about thinking about dating and partnering has got to be annoying to your bros, your family, everyone. To an outsider, the "gatekeeper" comment, backed up with the stats you provided, sounds miserably and hopelessly mired in the discourse of MGTOW, FDS, TRP, everything toxic about cis-het partnering in 2022. And then once called out by someone just saying "Hey, that's kind of an ugly thing to say" you go back and forth a bunch and still at the end you're …
/r/ExRedPill09/11/22 02:27 PM
4

Yes, auts and other friends, be sure you understand "love bombing." Recognize the behavior! With each new suitor, until it's second nature, ask yourself if they are love bombing you or is the relationship proceedings appropriately? Do yourself a favor, click the link, and at least read the part about love bombing, recognize the #1 trick of most abusers, and be deeply suspicious of people who seem to be demonstrating this behavior pattern.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/22 05:10 PM
2

I think Black Pill (although I can't be sure I know exactly what you mean by that) isn't so bad if you can build self-esteem while you're there. TBP could be a good way to resolve a romantic/sexual fixation born of low self-esteem. And from that place, build self-esteem, and then thoughtlessly and effortlessly meet your partner(s) like a lot of other people do, naturally and effortlessly, without scheming and such. Tell me this: do you think that from the emotional landscape of "the black pill" …
/r/ExRedPill08/11/22 04:13 PM
1

That's news to me. So you see my point after all? The comment "women are the gatekeepers," even when backed up with some stats that are relevant to the proposition, is just a fucking obnoxious and anti-romantic way to think and approach dating and partnerships. It has roots in the FDS/TRP-style of dating cynicism (and the patriarchy) and it's just not attractive to think and talk that way. Did I really convince you maybe?
/r/ExRedPill08/11/22 03:26 PM
1

Focus on the word "romantic." Trying to date by guidelines you've derived from scientific data is fucking obnoxious. That's a value. It's like trying to cook by science. Cooking is a craft; science may be able to answer some particular burning questions about cooking (like why is oil so important to roasting vegetables?) but science is not capable of teaching you how to cook. It's the same with dating and partnering, aka romance. By trying to date with the guidance of scientific data, you're tak…
/r/ExRedPill07/11/22 04:04 PM
5

I think it's sour grapes, mostly for most of them. And it's sour grapes only a little for very few of them.
/r/ExRedPill07/11/22 03:30 PM
1

It's putting you and anyone else thinking similarly in the mindset to appreciate TRP, (or FDS, for that matter) that's what's wrong with it. And it's stereotyping. TRP's use of data and objective facts to prove its values (as if values can be proven like facts, which they can't!) is a really great habit to get out of. Stop thinking there is any value in ideas that contain phrases like "men on average" etc. That is so FDS/TRP thinking. If you find yourself thinking like that at all, consider whet…
/r/ExRedPill07/11/22 03:04 PM
2

women are the gatekeepers that's so TRP-mentality dude. Each partner keeps their own gate, regardless of sex, gender, etc. You may experience that the people you wish to have sex with don't wish to have sex with you, but summing that up to "women are the gatekeepers" turns your personal frustration into a misogynistic axiom that's just not fair or great. Think less about sex-related axioms, it's not a helpful way to think. In terms of questions of romance and sex and companionship, hyper-focus o…
/r/ExRedPill05/11/22 05:22 PM
0

it seems silly to rank them. enjoy both!
/r/ExRedPill04/11/22 03:06 PM
1

I think to make your argument more serious and robust, you have to go back to a pre-app world, look closely at how hetero men's self-esteem was eviscerated by the hetero dating world in that era, and then make an argument that somehow dating apps made that worse. I don't think they changed as much as they may seem. Because dude, cis-het to cis-het courting in post-feminist patriarchy is fucked up. It just is. The apps are reflecting that fuckedupedness, not as much creating it much less initiati…
/r/ExRedPill04/11/22 02:58 PM
1

Just compare it to food. When you are younger, you may be rather shallow or shortsighted in declaring your "favorite food." As you get older, and more sophisticated, you may develop far more sophisticated tastes and needs, and so now you have not just one most important singular favorite dish, but also a whole variety of very special food items as well. I think your "spouse" should be that favorite dish. Just because it's your favorite and you come back to it more than the rest, there's no great…
/r/ExRedPill03/11/22 03:21 PM
9

Appreciate that it's a numbers game, and play by the "rules." Select more potential partners, basically. SIgnal your interest in far more people than you are doing currently. Lower you standard for a profile to earn your interest. Is that "swipe right" to say you like them? Whatever it is you do to say "I'm interested in this person" do it to 10x as many people as you currently do. And when someone shows interest in return, show them your full respect and really give them your time to see if the…
/r/ExRedPill01/11/22 03:42 PM
3

"To feel secure and comfortable" aka to terrorize and marginalize others lol.
/r/ExRedPill01/11/22 02:59 PM
6

but couldn't you also fuck guys Also a good point. Jeez, OP owes this sub money for all the good advice going on here.
/r/ExRedPill27/10/22 08:36 PM
8

This is such a damn good point. Also I feel like sluts just have a much more intimate and open honest communication about sex. If in theory someone with very little sexual experience could nevertheless communicate about it comfortably and openly, well that would be one thing, but with experience comes comfort. So yeah. You're right. I don't really want to try to get into a faithful situation with any partner who isn't a former slut. When their needs change, in all liklihood they won't be able to…
/r/ExRedPill27/10/22 08:35 PM
2

I guess I'd just say that perhaps you should work on your emotions around the potential of being cheated on, or the potential of being dumped. There should be zero stress about that. And don't make your girlfriend have to put in any effort to fix this, this is all you dude. Perhaps you should work to loosen and weaken the stress you have about those potentials. Become more easy-breezy, and OK. Develop a more "come what may, I'll get by" kind of approach and then enjoy what you got today. And if …
/r/ExRedPill27/10/22 08:29 PM
1

Thanks. This was worthwhile.
/r/ExRedPill18/10/22 02:13 PM
2

80% of all single women are happy while 60% of all married women are unhappy, so it makes sense to say these married women are better off single. And that's just a big no. That doesn't "Make sense" and it's not a logical conclusion moreover. We may presume some of the 60 percent who are unhappy and married would be happier if they were single, but how many? We have ZERO idea. Of course, some of that 60% would not be happy single or married (that's just how some people are!), and many of that 60%…
/r/ExRedPill17/10/22 02:50 PM
3

Op mentioned he was thinking of dumping his partner.
/r/ExRedPill17/10/22 12:51 AM
5

Stop generalizing things omg. "men have it better in marriage at the expense of women" is at most a statistical trend that not every situation will fit into. It's that simple. Besides, I don't subscribe to any dogmas and I don't hang out here enough to know what dogma you are claiming this space maintains. So argue with me, if you're going to argue with me, not with whoever else you have in your mind. Let me spell it out for you: if 99 women are single and say they are happy single, and one woma…
/r/ExRedPill15/10/22 02:48 PM
10

I think you also need to question your ability to extract meaning from statistical outcomes.
/r/ExRedPill15/10/22 01:24 AM
30

Redouble your efforts at understanding data and evidence. Even if there is a correlation between women being single and being happier, there are going to be plenty of individuals in the study who were plenty happy with a male partner. You're still trying to generalize and stereotype women (society at large and TRP especially taught you to do that). Valid scientific studies are a great way to invite a feeble mind to stereotype and generalize. So redouble your science competency, that's my advice.
/r/ExRedPill14/10/22 03:15 PM
3

I think I'm pretty secure. The #1 most attractive thing about another person is that they are attracted to me. So that would seem to contribute to your theory about validation and maybe seem to undercut my claim to being secure. Maybe I'm in denial. But honestly I think I am that way just because enough people are attracted to me I don't sense any purpose in chasing after people who are not, and thus have not developed the skill. I've never learned how to try to hit on anyone who is reluctant to…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/22 04:20 PM
1

I think most people who are worried about getting friendzoned and are worried about their outward appearance being substandard realize (usually subconsciously) that they are only attracted to people who would not be attracted to them back. I.E., you have let yourself be attracted only to people "out of your league." Ask yourself what percentage of people of appropriate ages would you tolerate as your partner, sex partner, life partner, or otherwise? Like, I think those who are afraid women are t…
/r/ExRedPill15/04/22 02:55 PM
1

I don't know, I always advise people to be brave and fuck a few people that they find unattractive. I did, and lucky for me several of the early ones, one in particular, was incredible at sex, like stunning, and it completely reoriented my brain. I realized that the outward presentation of a person with clothes on has almost no relationship to how much they might sexually please me; indeed, it's actually kinda hot in a strange way to feel so sexually satisifed by someone you (used to think or st…
/r/ExRedPill08/04/22 04:53 PM
1

You want r/PurplePillDebate . Many members of this sub hang out there as well. I do not, as I find debate quite stupid.
/r/ExRedPill07/04/22 07:07 PM
5

I don't know how right you are, and neither do you, but it is a curious question, how many participants in this sub genuinely had a past life in which they believed RP shit? IDK the answer, neither do you. But one thing I do know is that an ex-redpiller sounds like a leftist bashing red pill ideology using, usually, leftist concepts and analyses. That's the nature of being ex red pill. If you haven't rejected RP ideology, you aren't ex Red Pill, and you aren't super invited to discuss things her…
/r/ExRedPill07/04/22 04:01 PM
4

This isn't a debate sub. Go to r/PurplePillDebate . When you start to feel that Red Pill is garbage, but aren't sure why/where to turn next, this r/ExRedPill is for you. We're not here to convince people who are deadset against our viewpoint, only help people inform their feelings if they want it. Debate subs are very popular with adolescents. When you get a little older, you begin to feel that a lot of debates are entirely cliche and not worth any time.
/r/ExRedPill07/04/22 03:26 PM
1

You are much, much smarter than this argument you are making here. I'm kind of shocked.
/r/ExRedPill07/04/22 02:47 PM
5

the left bashing all and any red pill ideology that gets posted that is literally the point of this sub. If you don't like that intention, you don't like this sub. Rather than changing it, why not just leave?
/r/ExRedPill07/04/22 02:43 PM
5

so has your friend read all the materials on the stickied post? Have you? All the links are to articles that are all well reasoned. If not, what exactly is the complaint here? This feels like a "you can lead a horse to water but can't make them drink" situation.
/r/ExRedPill07/04/22 02:41 PM
7

For me, I think you need to link to specific examples of people being dogmatic. The last post in this sub that I interacted with had healthy debate.
/r/ExRedPill06/04/22 03:10 PM
6

I think this goes too far. Evolutionary Biology is a real thing, and psychology intersects with/is apart of biology (unless you see a firm cleave between psychology and biology, in which case we simply have a different point of view on that). Evolutionary "mismatch disorders" are an important concept to understand, and there is a psychological aspect t to some of them. For example, the diabetes and obesity epidemics can probably be well understood and explained in terms of psychological aspects …
/r/ExRedPill21/03/22 03:14 PM
30

I really wish I had inherited some beautiful, sacred traditions from my ancestors. But instead all I got was this fucking patriarchy. Opt out. Right on dude.
/r/ExRedPill06/03/22 07:47 PM
-1

actually yeah most athletes will tell you how fucking hard they work to look and perform the way they do. Those who say it's easy are lying. Even if you take (harmful, don't do it!) steroids or whatever, you still have to put in the time and effort to take advantage of what the drug offers. What I think you're getting at is the idea of a "baseline." Like, some people at baseline are thin and atheletic-looking effortlessly, while other folks who put in no effort get fat. This is true. But think o…
/r/ExRedPill13/01/22 05:53 PM
21

Not a luxury. It's a job. Having a good social life is a lot of work and takes a lot of compromise, especially if you are inclined toward introversion. I did that work and made those compromises as a 20-something, had a great social life, and developed a drinking problem, too, since being so social -- I now realize in retrospect -- wasn't healthy for my constitution. Point being though, having an active social life is not unlike climbing a career ladder. You need to commit to it, go about it mat…
/r/ExRedPill12/01/22 07:42 PM
0

I have no idea what you're doing in this sub then. Cracking jokes and allergic to learning...? That's not really the culture of this sub. Just an FYI.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/21 03:13 PM
2

You're saying that unaware huh? You want someone who's "not like other girls" eh? Go to Youtube and go down the "not like other girls" rabbit hole; watch feminists, anti-feminists, just watch everyone talk to death this topic. Your question to women is silly and you won't recognize why until you see that "not like other girls" is one of the most talked-about sociology/culture memes/phenomenons of, like, the last several years. I don't even want to begin to summarize. And look, you're not a bad p…
/r/ExRedPill15/12/21 06:08 PM
9

agreed, it's hard for me to imagine men took that seriously instead of reading it as humor/satire. I mean, I get accused of thinking pretty lowly of other people's intellects, but even I presume most "got" that this was a joke. That said, "jokes" help create culture. Things sometimes are a "joke" until they are PC enough that you can now reveal you don't think it's a joke or hope it's not a joke, etc. So it was a joke. BUt I still agree with OP that these kinds of "jokes" contribute.
/r/ExRedPill15/12/21 06:03 PM
2

Nah, you misunderstand. Half a dozen sex shops for 1 million people, I think, it quite a few. It's a good indicator that there are lots of sexually liberated and/or sexually adventurous/playful people here. I find plenty of hookups :)
/r/ExRedPill08/12/21 06:42 PM
2

Yeah, Mormon Utah here, but even still Salt Lake County has more than half a dozen sex shops serving only about 1 million people. Tells you what you need to know.
/r/ExRedPill08/12/21 05:12 PM
2

One thing I would note is you may need to make tremendous disruptions to your life and invest great deals of time, resources and effort in order to make it happen. For me, I had to move 6.5 hours away from my hometown to be in a metro area where sexually liberated people gather. For me, that was finding homosexuals; imagine being born homosexula and there's literally zero "out" homosexuals in your hometown, it's going to be a little hard being a slut there. YOu gotta go where your people are, wh…
/r/ExRedPill08/12/21 03:28 PM
1

Hookup apps and via queer friends. That would be my advice.
/r/ExRedPill08/12/21 02:16 PM
3

Thanks! I didn't realize honesty is a value of TRP. That makes me quite confused because how is this ideology helping a person get laid if you're honest about how lowly you think of women and their intentions? No female ethical slut I know would, as her first choice at least (sluts compromise now and then lol), spend any time with TRP dude. I think some TRP counter-programming might be some male-focussed Ethical Slut-type education. I think a lot of guys do not know how to fulfil their inner des…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/21 08:14 PM
4

Personally, I absolutely love promiscuity and having lots of sex partners. SO why would "player" behavior be regarded as cool? Well because I"m not alone; a lot of people in theory or maybe even in practice really, really enjoy having lots of partners, and lots of new partners. I don't think we should shame that or treat that like a mental illness. Now the lying and manipulating part, that's what's horrible. Ethical sluts of all sexes and genders are great! Users/abusers/liars/cheaters suck. The…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/21 04:47 PM
3

What he's doing maybe immature, misguided, etc., or it may be manly and badass or whatever little boys think, but all that gets set aside: only you are the judge of whether he is relating to you wrong. If he is doing so, only you can judge that, only you can inform him. And no one else's opinion, in the end, matters. You can tell him that he's treating you wrong, and he can retort with some TRP garbage, but you can just tell him that insofar as he is trying to date YOU, that TRP info is worse th…
/r/ExRedPill06/12/21 10:20 PM
5

yes! Think in terms of setting boundaries. We are all responsible for setting our own boundaries and communicating to those around us, each other and the world, how much toxic behavior and abuse we are willing to put up with. If you let people step over your boundaries, of if you just haven't ever defined any for yourself to enforce in the first place, you may not be at fault for the abuse that befalls you, but you are the only person empowered to change it, and hence it becomes a responsibility…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/21 03:56 PM
8

Well different people react differently to different approaches. Negging, eg, works best on women with low self-esteem or in a low self-esteem mood, when it works at all (I'm not sure it has a very high success rate, but I have women friends who have told me how/why this kinda/sorta works on them sometimes if they are feeling bad about themselves to begin with and have been drinking so their guard is down, whatever). The thing is, TRP works best if you're willing to sorta stake out the bar and t…
/r/ExRedPill01/12/21 04:59 PM
8

TRP is a new name for the same old damn patriarchy and "score" culture. So of course it will take over Latin America as machoismo already exists there and is hardly history.
/r/ExRedPill30/11/21 03:50 PM
11

Doesn't sound real dude. Pictures or it didn't happen. And if you're serious enough in this discussion to post pictures and have a conversation personal to your positionality vis-a-vis TRP, then I'm super game. But for now, your post reads as super fake. Like. Totally. Makes no sense why some 9/10 baller would be using a throwaway account--what have you got to hide Chad? edit: also, your answers are clearly right here, so I question your intentions: https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ho…
/r/ExRedPill23/11/21 03:45 PM
14

I think it really depends on your community norms (not just your geographic community, but religions community, national community, etc). For me, an older guy randomly sidling up to a younger woman at a bar, that's creepy, and my gut tells me that's rarely going to work unless you have decent amount of money -- and then you risk being sucked dry by a parasite anyway. However, if you were at a small or intimate gathering hosted at the home of your friends, and you met a younger woman there, and t…
/r/ExRedPill18/11/21 03:34 PM
2

You have said more than you have so far understood. "Patriarchy" does not indicate that men are not oppressed. Patriarchy is the cultural structure that envisions and enforces the very gender roles for men that you are presently bemoaning. That a man needs to be a tough soldier and/or make good money to be a valid/respectable man and find a partner and such: that's the fucking patriarchy dude. You've been complaining about patriarchy, without using that word and without understanding that is the…
/r/ExRedPill18/11/21 02:38 PM
5

Patriarchy is real dude. It began about the same time as feudalism was morphing slowly into liberal capitalism. 17th century Europe. The most famous episodes in the development of the patriarchy were European and American witch trials, the closing of the commons in Europe, midwifery being oppressed in the name of science to benefit them all-male doctors, etc. Hetero patriarchy, capitalism, white supremacy-- these are all highly intertwined historic and political issues that came about together a…
/r/ExRedPill17/11/21 10:30 PM
9

feminists who constantly rail against the patriarchy make fun of men for not living up to what the patriarchy expects of them One thing you gotta learn is some really fucked up people self-identify as things they are not. Especially with "feminist" most people think they are that just by being alive, because it's "normative" (that is, normal and presumed to be default/good). So lots of people who have no serious idea what feminism is, they lack introspection that their beliefs and behaviors are …
/r/ExRedPill17/11/21 05:12 PM
16

I really do believe that girls need to learn how to treat men just like boys or taught how to treat women because this is where a lot of it comes from That's pretty much red pill ideology right there. Women did not invent the patriarchy. Neither did men and boys in 2021. We are all subject the fuckery that is the patriarchy, but it impacts us differently. WE are advancing past it when we start to look at systems and blame systems, rather than blaming each other.
/r/ExRedPill17/11/21 04:17 PM
13

very bizarre and either borderline degenerate or just really sad, sexist and clueless.
/r/ExRedPill16/11/21 11:30 PM
5

If you genuinely form and maintain female friendships, it's also a demonstration to other females that you know how to relate to women, not merely objectify them. So don't do it for how it makes you look, but do appreciate that everyone notices when a straight guy has female friends; most people would consider that an indication of high value.
/r/ExRedPill16/11/21 04:58 PM
8

Here's what you learn when you have a ton of sexual options: a lot of them are more trouble than they are worth. This is true for straight women and gay men. We have all the options we want, but sometimes we are desperate for a really decent partner, not just some rando. So, we're never desperate for randos--those are easy to get and find. But the desperation just moves one layer deeper, to being desperate for real connection. So no, dudes don't always have trouble. Straight dudes have trouble :…
/r/ExRedPill15/11/21 03:27 PM
1

If anything comes together, I'd love to be invited to help. I'm not ex-redpill technically but I was pretty much raised red pill in a very conservative community. I was and am homosexual, so I worked really hard as a teenager to escape not just that mentality but the remote geographical confines in which I was captive. It wasn't quite like escaping a cult, but similar enough. I've since then educated myself on the ideas that I think ex-RPers should be diving into and relating to their life: cons…
/r/ExRedPill13/11/21 03:52 PM
2

that's a great response. Attitude does a lot in the world of culture. Folks who graduated Ivy, climb corporate ladders are are #1 at their tennis club, that's "high value" for a WASPy rich kid mindest, and WASPy rich kids know no different, so most of them who don't break out of their mold will just presume those are objective values. But for folks from different backgrounds, that lifestyle is going to look and feel like corporate nihilistic workaholism that is neither fun nor good looking. I be…
/r/ExRedPill06/11/21 03:22 PM
15

You have low self-esteem. So when you found someone to confirm that you are "low value" you heard them speaking truth, you already believed this but maybe didn't know why you felt that way, so these channels put words and articuable ideas to your inarticulated feelings of low self-esteem. So yes you have "fallen for this." THis is how almost everyone falls for it. But it's not true that you are low value, it's just a point of view you share(d) with these channels, but don't have to. You can chan…
/r/ExRedPill05/11/21 05:32 PM
1

Isn't it OK to take the old fashioned advice and just be yourself? Personally, as a gay man, I don't have to front or fake anything to find a hookup. I can be the same person in both modes, and that "person" is basically the real me (I'm an anxious intorvert, hence the "basically"). I understand if hetero guys tell me that my advice may be fine for homos but is unrealistic in the hetero world. You guys have it tough.
/r/ExRedPill26/10/21 02:05 PM
4

HAS CONTROL OVER HIS DATING CHOICES. I hate to make too much out of word choices, I suppose that may just be verbal influence from PUAs, but this reveals a fundamentally wrong and UGLY mindset in dating. Perhaps you should see a talk therapist about control issues. Are you maybe terrified of things you don't control? Well that's going to exclude you practically and functionally from dating and relationships.
/r/ExRedPill25/10/21 04:47 PM
12

You're doing it wrong dude. You're hanging out with the wrong people if you have to fake shit to be accepted/included. Maybe make some queer friends. They can coach you IRL in a way I'll never be able. Best of luck to you.
/r/ExRedPill25/10/21 04:35 PM
17

A guy who is popular with the ladies can find a hookup, no problem, and that's cool, that much I agree with. But the very same behaviors he adopts to get those easy hookups with no problem, become a problem to forming a real intimate partnership. Because at some point, he has to figure out how to take off the "ladies man" mask and settle into being his real self with the partner, without his partner feeling bait-and-switched and leaving. It's better to just be yourself from the get-go when tryin…
/r/ExRedPill25/10/21 01:40 PM
31

popular with ladies Trying to find a partner and being "popular with the ladies" are two entirely different things. One is like being a politician or celebrity -- cleaving off anything that makes you special because it might turn off a constituency, always editing yourself and strategizing to make your brand have the most broad-based appeal possible. Finding a partner (or partners) is like finding a special puzzle piece that just so happens to fit your weirdo jigsaw cuts. Do you see how these ar…
/r/ExRedPill25/10/21 12:59 PM
1

thanks friend. good luck to yoU!
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 04:37 PM
4

no need to apologize. so my last piece of advice would be to cultivate at least 1 truly intimate friend from IRL, if you don't have one already. They will give you 1million times better advice than an online stranger who is just giving advice that's so general it's not clear if it's useful to anyone specifically! My gut tells me the advice you received is very suspicious and you should reflect maybe on it first before you take it in and have it make you reflect on you. Does that make sense? Like…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 03:53 PM
6

isnt attractive to women go back to step 1. Now, I hear you, you've received feedback about your behavior. Ok, then ask yourself, was the feedback valid? Did they have a good point that when you do X, it's really not a good look? If so, take it to heart, work on it, find a new "center" of you that is a better version of you. Or is it rather, when you receive that criticism, are you ambivalent? Meaning, maybe you really like X and it's terribly distressing to be told X makes you an invalid partne…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 03:34 PM
16

Stop stereotyping women, that's step #1. Number 2 is to recognize that yes, perhaps, this advice you hear again and again is decent advice for a sizable portion of women. Number 3, though, is to consider whether you want a girl that is like this, or whether you'd be better off with a different kind of woman. Number 4, stop contorting yourself. Look at who you are. Look at how you are when you feel your best. Then go find a partner that wants that kind of behavior!
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 03:17 PM
0

i meant it in a more broad sense of any non-Chad.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/21 06:27 PM
9

i definitely went to therapy when my depression made me hate myself. Dude. Get serious. Interoggate why you won't get real help. Interrogate why you're comfortable asking complete strangers who have no opportunity to get to know you, and thus very little opportunity to give you good, relevant advice--and yet you won't go spend a good amount of time with someone who has trained to assist int his these problems and will have the time to give you personally tailored advice and counseling. You might…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/21 02:12 PM
16

You're better off finding a partner who is turned off by charisma or doesn't care either way if you have it. It won't be easy at first, but get comfortable and confident in being someone who doesn't have charisma (I do not have it, neither does my partner, and I think we are both turned off by the "types" that do). You're lucky. Prior to Millennials, it was not OK at all to be a nerd, it was highly stigmatized. It's, like, pretty much normalized and celebrated now (thanks to the Green brothers a…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/21 02:09 PM
10

STop stereotyping. That's the best thing you could learn here. There is not just one way a woman's attraction works. There are women who operate just like you said men do, and plenty of men who do not operate that way. Complexify your thinking. Just stop thinking "men are X" and "women are Y" or whatever. Just set it all aside. Whenever a question like this pops into your head, snap a rubber band against your wrist or something, I'm hardly kidding. The advice you've gotten form others is quite u…
/r/ExRedPill18/10/21 10:36 PM
5

Your purpose comes first. That's one point of view. I absolutely used to share it, but I've completely set it aside for now. I'm 40. I already lived half a life by this kind of mantra and it nearly ruined me twice (suicidality each time, and the second time was extremely dangerous). The idea of "purpose" has been corrupted in capitalist society--dangerously. For example, I'm afraid the "do what you love" mantra, or sometimes put "do something you love for your job and you'll never work a day in …
/r/ExRedPill16/10/21 03:32 PM
2

Men in the bottom 10% see just one match per week at most. Success varies greatly among women as well. However, even those in the 10th percentile (meaning those who receive matches less frequently than 90% of women) can usually match about once per day. Let's be real though, that sucks for dudes. And it's not their fault they're being shut out. I would argue this is a consequence as much of app architecture as preexisting gender/sexual dynamics from real life that carryover onto the app. That's …
/r/ExRedPill13/10/21 02:42 PM
2

This would be indeed male hypergamy. I thought hypergamy was "marrying up" in a class/money/status sense. Are we considering sexual appeal a "status" in this sense? What I think funny about the gender stereotype of hypergamy at TRP, is as a gay man of low class, I always dreamed of marrying partnering with a redeemer with more security and comfort than I had previously enjoyed (wouldn't have to be a Prince Charming, just someone upwardly mobile in the most meager sense lol). It's funny that anyo…
/r/ExRedPill13/10/21 02:20 PM
9

i agree, although so few Americans have access to this, and I suspect it's even harder to access talk therapy other places.
/r/ExRedPill11/10/21 02:38 PM
3

Thanks for sharing. I know how hard it must be, especially since you've opened up to others and they responded super poorly. Increasing your ability to open about this will help diffuse pain you have surrounding it, so you are well on your way to recovery, it seems. Congratulations, as that is not an easy road.
/r/ExRedPill25/09/21 02:41 PM
5

Let's be real, a lot of guys don't care if their sex partner likes them, they just wanna fuck. I think a lot of fucked up deceptive and otherwise shitty behavior (ironically, perhaps) stems from this very innocent, pure, not fucked up desire to just fuck--casually, no strings attached, etc. . I really, truly, deeply, from the bottom of my heart without any sarcasm sympathize with straight guys who just wanna fuck, but can't find a female partner who wants same, at least not from them. I absolute…
/r/ExRedPill24/09/21 02:25 PM
2

Nah dude, you can also just be a mushroom in your house--with other mushroom people. The "best verison of your self" discourse can be helpful or harmful, it's really how it hits you and tweaks your insecurities. It's the right advice for some people, and it just stokes insecurity and feelings of inadequacy in others. And here's the thing: I've put hundreds of hours into weight training but I am still and probably always will be a skinny wimp (I have eating issues, so I know the physical root of …
/r/ExRedPill22/09/21 03:27 PM
1

Paranoia and lack of trust are not to be left behind totally! Stay jaded, to a degree. Don't switch out TRP's absolute void of trust and become an opposite, a sad sack who trusts too much. Wisdom here is not in the extremes, but finding the midway point for you. And remember both TRP and some people including women are trash. It's not an either/or situation. Life is more complex than that. The #1 thing to remember about TRP is they are trying to make life and people seem simple and predictable s…
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 02:21 PM
2

Sorry that I offended you for real. My last sentence probably sounds bad. But I just mean, where are you coming from, so to speak, that you've become uninterested in female friends? I mean, in some cultures that's simply not the reality, I understand that, so I was trying to dig down to your personal situation to understand where you're coming from. I also don't need to pry if you don't want to say, so whatever. Where I come from, straight up no apologies not wanting to be friends with females s…
/r/ExRedPill17/09/21 11:53 PM
2

You're so welcome!
/r/ExRedPill17/09/21 11:09 PM
5

"I'm not interested in female friends" maybe needs to be unpacked. Say more. It sounds sexist, thus problematic. But maybe there is another layer to what you say? Why are you not interested in femlae friends? How is it ok in your mind to even say that?
/r/ExRedPill17/09/21 09:17 PM
4

whoa, you did the work for him! I just commented he should go study various strands of feminism, but hell you wrote a gd CLiffs Notes. <claps, snaps and thank yous!>
/r/ExRedPill17/09/21 03:02 PM
5

One problem I see is your understanding of feminism has limited you to see feminists as a monolith. This is a tremendous intellectual mistake, before we even get into whether this point of view is "fair" (it's not). To begin with, maybe dive into the pervasive critique of "white feminism" and learn for yourself how it contrasts with the feminism of those who critique so-called white feminism. Learn about the history of "radical feminism" and how it contrasts with, say, "third-wave feminism." The…
/r/ExRedPill17/09/21 02:59 PM
4

You're welcome :) And I think it's also fine if you enjoy dating advice content now and then, no one is a bad person for liking or seeking out that content. But take it in critically, always remind yourself that these folks on the screen are not in your life to appreciate any of the details that matter a lot. People in your life, in your context, who understand you and the type of people you are pursuing, will give much better advice. CHeers!
/r/ExRedPill17/09/21 02:49 PM
26

Sorry but I would say turn it all off, all the dating advice, I think it's corrosive to take in a lot of it even if it's not problematic advice. Here's why: the advice givers aren't able to hear you and your individual circumstances, nor about people you are pursuing etc. That is, they can't get personal and detailed about your situation or any of their viewers. So they are pulling on situations they have heard about from their friends (that is, a situation from their context) and trying to sell…
/r/ExRedPill17/09/21 02:20 PM
9

wow, this is a whole meme. I like that users are mocking the manosphere's stupid tropes. That's really hopeful.
/r/ExRedPill16/09/21 02:12 PM
4

As a marketer, I've seen the data: people's behavior and what people claim is their behavior are rarely the same thing. That's not just TRP. For example, a lot of readers/viewers explicitly tell news media organizations (say in surveys) they want more "positive" stories with happy endings or whatever, but you know what stories actually get the least clicks and could never support a news media organization? Answer: happy stories, the exact thing people say they want gets virtually no clicks in th…
/r/ExRedPill15/09/21 09:45 PM
4

To the extent that these dating advice clubs are explicitly queer-exclusive, they are all the same. These clubs all insist that club members focus their questions and comments on dynamics perceived to be typical, normal, customary, i.e. normative and stereotypical. These sites rely on stereotypes of men and women, and that inherently excludes all variety of queer people -- even queer-tho-hetero people like sluts and trans. And in their exclusion, there is derision and othering that occurs. But m…
/r/ExRedPill15/09/21 03:44 PM
2

Thank you I agree. It's really nice to hear someone else say so.
/r/ExRedPill14/09/21 06:53 PM
1

Thanks. What sucks is I don't even have any really useful advice. In our situation, the person calling the hotline "refused to make a safety pact," that is, when the hotline operator asked her to promise not to hurt herself, she refused to promise. PResto, cops! So perhaps knowing this little tip, people can use suicide hotlines but just know you must make a safety pact (if dishonestly) or else cops will come to your door. But I have no way of knowing if that's a local, regional, or national tri…
/r/ExRedPill14/09/21 02:49 PM
1

They insisted on talking to her, but she refused to come out of the house; I was stuck in the middle trying to explain. Somehow they got it into their head that on a welfare check they have to talk to her and a roommate telling them she is not interested in speaking to police (and has no legal obligation to do so) can not suffice. So I filmed the whole thing and because I had life experiences preparing me for that moment, I was definitely the calm one and they looked like agro assholes. And she …
/r/ExRedPill14/09/21 01:47 PM
8

When my roommate called a suicide crisis line, she did not and never would have consented to police showing up at her door. The suicide hotline sent them. And I ended up arrested in a completely ridiculous "bad cop no donut" situation. Eventually acquitted at trial, but seriously, anyone of us could have been killed by these idiots. No suicide intervention services in the USA that I'm aware of has a consent pledge related to police. So in my mind, there is no suicide intervention service in the …
/r/ExRedPill13/09/21 10:40 PM
1

Why do people struggle with differentiating between false info and credible sources? School, church, media, etc. I didn't just blame parents, notice. I think you and I actually agree. And it's not so much that they "had those BELIEFS before they went down the rabbit hole." What I'm saying is their values and norms were already groomed/primed to consider the info in that rabbit hole rather than puke/fight, the immediate involuntary reaction many of us with different values have involuntarily in r…
/r/ExRedPill13/09/21 05:40 PM
1

Exactly and thank you. its important that we remember the user's agency. They aren't held against their will in a reeducation camp like a Uighar in China. They volunteered their eyes, ears and minds to this "education." It's important we understand why they might volunteer in this way. Not most primarily to judge and blame, but so as to better understand the root of the problem so we can uproot it.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/21 05:34 PM
5

I think it's useful to take a step back and remember the context of the Culture Industry here, in this case Youtube and its creators (if you want a new and better rabbit hole to go down, start with Adorno here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvOGeaEP_c0). There are barely any youtubers these days who adhere to anything besides what is known as "capitalist realism." That is the idea that the only thing that really matters is money and commercial success; in Youtube parlance, doing anything "for …
/r/ExRedPill13/09/21 02:36 PM
0

Thanks for adding this one. I struggled to figure out how to say that sexism is still real, and that these traditional toxic features are probably inevitably going to intrude in heterosexual-heternormative couplings more so than others (where the man makes the money and the woman has no marketable work skills). I agree with that. But for me, the emphasis is wrong. Rather than "Not all men" my caveat that I would briefly add onto my comment is "sexism is still real." But that's not a meme, so peo…
/r/ExRedPill11/09/21 03:40 PM
1

Dude, the "not all men" thing isn't as helpful as it could be, because your caveat should be still more expansive. Your entire essay could be de-gendered and it is still good advice to anyone seeking a partner, man, woman, gay, straight, etc. Your advice is generally: It's very risky for any person to defer developing their marketable workplace skills and professional work history to start a family and be the domestic one. I agree. It's practical advice. Patriarchal capitalism was constructed in…
/r/ExRedPill11/09/21 03:13 PM
1

It sounds like you weren't much of an asshole to her at all, even if you were thinking like an asshole. Like, she maybe didn't get a whiff of that. I think you can recontact her if you like, especially if you have a burning desire to do so, can't get her out of your head. If a ghost from my past (who had never been a asshole as far as I was aware) suddenly hit me up out of the blue and said "hey how you been? it's been a long time since we talked--sorry. let's fix that! i've been thinking about …
/r/ExRedPill10/09/21 12:09 AM
12

This post isn't the work of a "shy" person, exactly. I invite you to unpack and breakdown this label "shy" into smaller component parts. "Doesn't like small talk," for example. "Doesn't know how to start a conversation with a stranger," another example. Anyway, make a list of things that are true about you that fit under the heading "shy." Then, make a new list that included on it is this post. "Posting very private things is OK anonymously," might be how you would portray it. That's kinda contr…
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 07:30 PM
1

For me, I think most people use incel only to apply to assholes. If you are involuntarily celibate but not a misogynist, it's unfair to be labeled "incel" which is a slur to label misogynists (in most people's vocabulary, I argue). I'm not prescribing how incel should be used, but I do believe most people use "incel" as a slur exclusively.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 05:19 PM
1

You seem to think of your sexual attractions as immutable, something as strong and inflexible as homosexuality. And maybe your aversion to fat partners is that strong. But maybe consider the possibility that you can change some things about your sexual attractions by sheer force of will and dedication. You might say "oh no, my preferences won't change," but that's what everyone thinks at first. Consider putting concerted effort with discipline into sexualizing large women. Like brainwash yoursel…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/21 07:38 PM
1

Oh buddy I really appreciate your candor. Do you know tall people have stretch marks just from getting tall fast? Stretch marks aren't necessarily a fat thing. Extremely skinny people can have stretch marks. I have them on my hips and butt and I've always been underweight. Is it possible you've mostly only seen your own stretch marks and that has helped you associate them with physical failure and ruin (because that's how you feel about your body)? Giant linebackers who are extremely physically …
/r/ExRedPill04/09/21 04:34 PM
1

consider this advice from someone who is sexually attracted to men: a physically capable body that can run, jump, bend, lift, dance and especially fuck really good, but carries some or even a lot of extra fat.... it a a fuckton hotter than... a skinny-fat body that is relatively incapable of physical exertion. Skinny-fat isn't healthy, and often when fat people are successful at weight loss, they merely end up skinny fat (regular BMI, but still no substantial muscle mass). I would advise you to …
/r/ExRedPill04/09/21 03:07 PM
1

nah dude, that person is saying that a woman pursued the "Traditional" "white picket fence" lifestyle with some supposedly dream romance guy who deceived her (and may be deceiving himself too, let's be real and fair) into believing he wanted that traditional nuclear family, strict long-term monogamy thing. That thing, after all, is normative; a lot of people who probably don't actually want that think they want that because, well, society considers it to be the only normal adulthood. But the pro…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/21 02:49 PM
1

I don't actually know anyone IRL who has even heard of FDS, so I am making inferences from what I see in their rhetoric online. I actually don't know whether a single FDS disciple behaves IRL the way the sub advocates. To be fully honest and real, I kinda figure the FDS ladies are mostly all kinda hoping to "fake it till" they "make it," but when they actually go out on dates they are who they are today, insecure and unsure of themselves like many/most normal people. People who are genuinely con…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/21 02:40 PM
15

First off, "incel" as a political identity is absolutely not OK -- the incel movement is horrific and has a body count. That tweet is referring to that kind of political Incel, a woman-hating asshole often with violent rhetoric or fantasies who communicates and commiserates with others like him. Being a virgin who doesn't want to be a virgin is perfectly fine -- that woman in that tweet is not referring to that. Shit, I think much of Gen Z is going to be virgins into their 30s if only because th…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/21 02:07 PM
17

lol I had no idea RPW was a thing. I just looked over that sub's sticky "Expectations vs. Reality" and their lists of "what women think men want" and "what men think women want" really succumbs to the same fatal thinking errors that TRP, FDS and more make. That fatal error is failing to properly ascribe diversity, complexity and difference to men and women. Men and women aren't so easily stereotyped and pigeonholed as many of these advice clubs presume. "Women still like handsome men," you might…
/r/ExRedPill03/09/21 05:00 PM
35

Low self-esteem creating self-sabotage. That's in the better ones. The ones who are just pure psychopaths are just pscyhopaths. Women with low self-esteem also self-sabotage, but in my experience less often do they do this by confining their partner preferences to people obviously out of their league. Women with low self-esteem who self-sabotage actually tend more to go for shitty, chaotic, abusive guys. Although FDS and similar are creating a contingent of women who do the "out of your league e…
/r/ExRedPill03/09/21 04:22 PM
2

I don't know what you're doing in this sub. You don't seem interested in ceasing to think like TRP preaches. You don't have to think just as I do, but your "statistical" approach is just a tip-toe away from stereotyping, basically a empiricist-washing of what is otherwise universally recognized as a very bad habit. Cheers.
/r/ExRedPill01/09/21 06:16 PM
2

A, you're being an asshole. B, even though your statistical chances of finding a winning lottery ticket (versus a losing one) are infinitesimal, you'd be a fucking idiot to treat a winning ticket like it's a losing ticket. Each time your statistically informed stereotypical thinking of women fails you, you are the idiot who treated a winning ticket as a losing one. Grow the fuck up.
/r/ExRedPill01/09/21 04:58 PM
2

I listed options that are relevant to some women. Your habit of reducing women to a stereotype made you think I was giving advice to all women, as if all women are the same and have the same options open to them. My comment represents the complex diversity that exists within "women." You are bristling against this, trying to use "statistics" as a defense for your stereotypes. I haven't time for such stuff.
/r/ExRedPill01/09/21 04:32 PM
2

Stop assuming, one. Two, stop thinking in terms of "most women." Treat every individual as an individual. Not that you are wrong or fucked up, but this "most women" mentality is very TRP. EXredpill thinking should not rely on "most women" thinking. When you speak about women, incorporate all the diverse complexities that women represent -- in terms of sex, sexuality, personality, culture, nation, etc etc -- and really try to stop thinking of "most women" at all. It's a problematic way to go abou…
/r/ExRedPill01/09/21 03:47 PM
1

Personally, I rarely chit-chat via text. It's a personality thing. Sometimes a friend and I will have chit-chat-text rapport for awhile, but it always fizzles because I don't like it i guess. I HATE it when my phone has alerts; it makes me feel that people are demanding things of me, they are demanding my attention -- so my replies are really slow, short, uninteresting. However, other people rather than feeling bad about alerts on their phone feel them to be an invitation, a welcome invitation t…
/r/ExRedPill01/09/21 03:37 PM
3

I think it's crucial to exredpill thinking to stop stereotyping. Saying "average women" is not some fucked up crime, OK. You should not feel bad asking that question, especially not here, where this is a place to learn. But I think the concept of "average women" in this context is problematic. You all have a lot to learn from bisexual and genderqueer people, and the people who date bisexuals and genderqueer people. Each individual is different, most have something unique about them, and most imp…
/r/ExRedPill01/09/21 01:53 PM
2

Having a same sex relationships is a choice for bisexuals especially.
/r/ExRedPill01/09/21 12:58 PM
1

Apart of being EX redpill is to stop stereotyping people. Life is complex. Stereotypes make you very dumb. And to stop associating "feminism" only with horrible women.
/r/ExRedPill01/09/21 12:56 PM
2

I am cynic, but sadly I think you have it just about right, at least from my vantage point in USA. That said, it only takes one -- sorry to sound like a Disney moral. But don't give up looking for a partner. They are out there. And consider having kids with an alternative partner or on your own, if it's something very important to you.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 11:23 PM
1

That's not feminism. Wtf. People are people. Concepts are concepts. Study feminism for yourself.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 07:18 PM
19

I abhor battle of the sexes-type questions. Patriarchy sucks for everyone. Case closed.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 06:20 PM
8

sociopaths and their sheep.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 01:55 PM
3

I don't think you're even 50/50 "ex"-redpill dude. You're trolling. Maybe on autopilot. But a troll is a troll.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 01:54 PM
4

modern feminism bashes men constantly and makes it seem like we have no problems. go back to red pill then, because you are speaking like one. If you are here, I assume you accept that your mind has been warped by cult-like manipulation and now it's time to pull the wool off your eyes and learn what's real. don't fight it?! or go back to TRP ffs.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 01:53 PM
2

i'm really glad you've come here to learn more.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 01:51 PM
6

Depends on whether you mean brand-name Red Pill, est. circa 2012, or just good old-fashion "got laid"/scored misogynistic culture even Boomers accepted when they were young, which is essentially the same damn ideology. Very, very, very few people are actually engaging in cultural products of brand name Red Pill. Most of western civilization, to some degree, however, accepts red pill ideology as "normal" because it is "normal" in terms of the patriarchy that is hundreds of years old. What can wom…
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 01:50 PM
10

Well done! Great comment.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 10:51 PM
2

OK, you got hung up on the wrong thing. Don't think too much about "fat." Think of it as anything that is customarily thought of as a downgrade. Maybe instead of fat, think poor/unemployed, on paper, ugly, whatever whatever whatever. Ask your very closest friends if they think you always go for people "out of your league." If they say yes, ask what makes them out of your league. Then interrogate why you are doing that. If you're not doing that, then your problem is something else i may not know …
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 02:26 PM
2

Is it possible you are only interested in people who are "out of your league"? Is it possible you are rejecting people based on shitting parameters? I hate to lend credence to the idea of "league" at all, but when people say they get no responses on dating apps, it's almost always the case. Like I don't even know you, so I'm not trying to talk about you. But my friend is really fat. He's kinda/sorta tried to lose it in the past, but he's the sort who doesn't stick to a diet or workout plan for m…
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 01:43 PM
1

Yeah totally therapy. It's your upbringing, I'm sure. I can't imagine someone who had a very boring, predictable, emotionally supportive childhood would turn into an adult who seeks constant risk-taking and emotional manipulation. For your sake, I'd overtly fight these urges and as other have said, seek therapy.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 03:03 PM
15

I don't know anyone who plans to have children, so that wall is so totally irrelevant. Beauty standards are 100% a social construct -- meaning we've all been brainwashed to see them so even if we agree on what they are they are corrupt. For example, the idea that men at 40 are sexier than women at 40 -- there's nothing "True" about that no matter how many people agree, it's an entirely subjective and inherently misogynistic conclusion. Even if we could discover some of this is biological and not…
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 03:00 PM
42

I really must wonder how many matches you feel entitled to or expect to get, and where these expectations come from? 1-2 per month could sound like a lot, if you imagine that with each match you're going to give them a full, grown-up, audition to be a meaningful partner of yours. How much time do you have for more "matches" if you are actually taking time to get to know these people and trying to form real relationships (and not just fuck them?)? This isn't shopping on Amazon. It is dating real …
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 02:22 PM
1

did you get lost on your way to redpill? As a matter of principle, if a girl dumps a guy because he cries, she is traaaaaash. Not all women are trash. Most people don't change. Don't chase trash women. It's really up to you to start detecting these women before a day of reckoning occurs. When you meet a women, if you get the "she gonna laugh if I cry" vibe, dump her ass immediately. Do not fuck her. Do not call her back. Don't reply to her texts. Just forget she exists. She is trash.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 02:11 PM
2

If that's your impression you are chasing and/or surounded by TRASH TOXIC women. If you insist on chasing trash women, I have no help for you, you're gonna get trashy yourself, inevitably. Women can be macho assholes, too, in their own way.
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 03:33 PM
4

I think it's a positiviley wrong and moreover ugly/toxic to put "masculinity" and "strength" as contrasts to "vulnerable." Not to sound too cliche, but the inability to be vulnerable comes from weakness, insecurity, fear. And the ability to be vulnerable provides immense strength. All well-adjusted emotionally healthy grownups, masculine or otherwise, are strong in part because they are sometimes vulnerable, and able to be vulnerable because they are strong. "Too much of either is a bad thing" i…
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 03:31 PM
22

It's mainstream masculinity that encourages men to become hard and mean, rather than sad and vulnerable, after a heartbreak. We need a new concept of masculinity, we need new and different kinds of men.
/r/ExRedPill26/08/21 08:27 PM
6

Absolutely. Thx for saying so.
/r/ExRedPill26/08/21 01:34 PM
27

this is with no disrespect, but you'll have an easier time forming relationships and attracting sexual attention if you can get over your "blame both" feelings here. Very few people are going to be comfortable with you blaming both and it will make you a prickly potential partner. People will not feel comfortable getting closer to you if you have unchecked entitlement to relative strangers' attention. Realizing that someone you've never met IRL just invited you to their house party owes you abso…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 02:35 PM
11

yeah, that's your buddy's responsibility to know that and be careful around that. The stranger from tinder has no opportunity to know about them and thus no responsibility to be careful with such dynamics. It's all on the buddy.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 02:32 PM
15

she was hosting a party, and she invited a dude she met on tinder. she was not "on a date" with the guy from tinder and hosting a party simultaneously; that was his presumption which got his heart broke. People jump to conclusions and become entitled so fast and then get themselves hurt. Slow your roll.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 02:14 PM
42

The only person to blame here in is the wingman. Why is the impulse to blame the woman? She doesn't know nor owe anything to either of you. However, the buddy owes you a duty of care for your feelings, and he just trampled all over that. Dump the buddy!
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 02:13 PM
0

First of all, learn yourself about "code switching." Like now, go learn about it. Maybe start here. You'll learn real fast that someone who behaves as an Alpha at school, might be a total beta to his mom, and a sigma in the steets, and almost girly-girl when he babysits his little sisters, and a total ass-up bottom when his boyfriend comes over. It's extremely damaging to fit anyone into these boxes because no one fits in any of them if they are being real. "Alphas" whose behavior seems to fit i…
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 04:05 PM
0

masculinism That's not a real thing. And feminism is for everyone of every damn gender. You have a lot to learn, and you're looking in very dark, stupid places to learn it. You will learn nothing continuing to beat your head tearing down these false idols. Tearing down false idols will not actually help you grow and learn new things.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 03:56 PM
1

dude, i don't really want to get into it, but you are still harboring so many tremendously problematic ideas about gender, relationships, etc. I think your really ought to rethink the entire way you think about relationships and stop trying to look at others "success." What is "success"? Meaningful, intimate relationships? I doubt it. I think you're a little less EX-redpill than you think you are. Or maybe you are bona fide exredpill, but you've moved on to a mindset that is something barely bet…
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 03:42 PM
1

But if that's all you do, you'll never grow. Sure, learn from others mistakes. Then learn something genuinely new from folks you aren't accustomed to listening to like women and queers.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 03:32 PM
5

I have a suggestion for your ex-redpillers. Guys got you into this trouble. Probably start listening to women for a change. And not just any woman, not some FDS snake, but smart women who want to make healthy relationships. Listen to them. Listen to women who can explain why conceiving of feminism as a "battle of the sexes" is completely off base and toxic. Listen to women who can explain what feminism has to offer men.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 03:17 PM
0

Re-read? I said it's gendered AND deragatory. Terms that are both of these things are sexist. That's not a new rule, however people/society keep creating new sexist terms.
/r/ExRedPill20/08/21 05:35 PM
-2

It's sexist in that it's only used to describe women -- ever -- and yet it's just a set of norms/vibes that can be embodied by someone of any gender. I think we can talk about People Pleasing behaviors and what's not healthy about them, but I think everyone who is not sexist should stop using the term "pick me" "Pickmeisha" etc. It's derogatory and gendered. Enough said. It also doesn't matter that women invented it. Women can be very sexist towards other women.
/r/ExRedPill20/08/21 02:36 PM
1

I think the "pick me" thing has become really sexist, if it ever wasn't. You should hate to play that card.
/r/ExRedPill20/08/21 01:54 PM
14

I think the key is being able to walk away, to be able to provide for oneself so you can leave if you want, so that you aren't a prisoner of circumstance.
/r/ExRedPill20/08/21 01:49 PM
4

I'm not the only homosexual man who thinks one of the main points to living is to fuck as many people as one can. Do not lie, cheat, trick, force or do anything else untoward in pursuit of the goal, but if your pursuit of happiness includes the pursuit of many sex partners, go for it. Doesn't matter what gender, sex or sexuality you are.
/r/ExRedPill11/08/21 01:40 PM
1

They're no different than sjws. except you seem to agree with SJW's ideas and you reject the ideas of these RP people. So that would seem to be a quite important difference. Getting upset defending the truth and justice -- as a stereotypical "radical SJW" would presumably do -- should be a lot more sympathetic than getting pissed standing up for regressive, sexist values as these RP people do. I think it's just too bad you see these as equivalent.
/r/ExRedPill05/08/21 03:03 PM
2

act like SJWS ??? your entire argument here is a social justice-oriented set of ideas, buddy.
/r/ExRedPill05/08/21 01:48 PM
1

true if "attraction is broken" there is little that can be done in the situation. trash people have not worked on themselves and their instincts, so when they are repulsed by the sight of a man crying, they can not presto! instantly correct their feelings. that just means they should have started working on those trash feelings years ago before the moment of reckoning is facing them directly. for OP, this is a learning experience to start detecting trash people before a moment of reckoning is pr…
/r/ExRedPill30/07/21 03:24 PM
1

I suspect it's partially both. But non-trash people resist problematic "natural" urges every bit as much problematic culturally-informed urges. IN the end, it doesn't matter whether it's biological or cultural. People who are not trash will recognize it is trash behavior and refuse to embody it themselves.
/r/ExRedPill29/07/21 01:14 PM
1

I just watched the season 4 episode of the Simpsons in which Sara Gilbert voice's Bart's girl-next-door crush. After she falls for Bart's bully, Bart conspires to ensure the bully will cry in front of the girl. It works, and Gilbert's character says almost word for word to the bully what OP wrote, "You are just not the guy I thought you were." The media poisons people's brains, though it's not the only toxic influence. Date people who are not so influenced by media.
/r/ExRedPill27/07/21 03:11 PM
10

You're just chasing trash people. If she dumped you cuz you cried, she is trash. Some people are trash. Date people who are not trash.
/r/ExRedPill25/07/21 08:55 PM
3

It's a personality characteristic or relationship dynamic that is not bound or trending toward any gender or sex or whatever. It's sexist to portray it as a female quality.
/r/ExRedPill25/07/21 06:05 PM
1

Be skeptical.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/21 02:21 PM
6

women are rocking the hypergamy way. sounds like you still got some post-RP learning to do. (hint: this is a sexist comment because there is no evidence that (straight) women do this or try to do this more than (straight) men (or gay women, gay men, etc etc), nor that there is any problem with anyone doing this or trying to do this). Besides, you're probably not the lowest class, so there is always someone trying to marry up who would succeed at doing so by marrying you.
/r/ExRedPill16/06/21 04:54 PM
4

Sexist straight guys trying to "score" isn't new. And it's not newly a big deal. It's been ubiquitous since as long as anyone can remember. That's probably why it doesn't get much play. It's a child of patriarchy. It's not going away fast or easy (or maybe not at all)>
/r/ExRedPill16/06/21 04:46 PM
14

A sad reality however is that a lot of 18-22 year olds don't have the life experience yet to appreciate how serious their drinking/drug problem is. So those 30-something creeps can hit on that girl, the one who isn't speaking clearly and is wobbling on her feet, who doesn't have friends close enough to protect her (because at college age you're often in a new environment away from people who've known you long). I agree with what you said, but add onto it this.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/21 02:36 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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