bagelsofsesame Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Women, what happens when a man refuses to make a move? I agree that it’s not ableist to recognize the potential challenges with romance those on the spectrum may face. This person did not appear to be doing that. Their remark was derogatory and ignorant in phrasing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/07/22 04:15 PM
1	Women, what happens when a man refuses to make a move? In previous generations and with older data and diagnostic criteria, perhaps. Autistic was a singular box to be checked. Therefore many people who fall anywhere else on the spectrum were not diagnosed with ASD. But they’re married and procreating. With up-to-date research and modern understanding of what ASD actually is, more young people are being properly diagnosed which is helping to change the stigma. It’s true that an extremely large percentage of people on the Autism spectrum are unaware a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/07/22 03:04 PM
3	Women, what happens when a man refuses to make a move? Don’t entertain this person’s ignorant ableism.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/07/22 05:22 AM
4	Women, what happens when a man refuses to make a move? You don’t know many living human people, do you? People with ASD are all human people. Some are fantastic to be around and some are less so. Statistically, many people on the Autism spectrum are married and procreating- and having more kids with ASD. Not every human person is guaranteed to get married or stay unmarried. Being autistic or neurotypical isn’t an automatic guarantee one way or the other. Sounds like you need a little more life experience.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/07/22 05:19 AM
3	Women, what happens when a man refuses to make a move? I hear you and I really respect your sharing here but saying that “me too really fucked guys up” is not sitting well with me. Women finally speaking up about getting harassed did not fuck anything up for people who are self-aware and socially conscious and know how to communicate. Men and women are all fucked up by modern dating and years generations of having things drilled into them. Your feelings and perspective are extremely valid. But you can have them without dismissing a very important mo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/07/22 05:05 AM
2	Daily Community Chat Megathread Lol at “women get off to fear porn” You don’t know much about current actual porn trends and what the overwhelming majority of porn addicted men get off to. Why they are aroused by tears? Honestly, I’m envious of people who can maintain such levels of delusion. Must be nice.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/22 04:16 AM
2	Daily Community Chat Megathread The fact that they “never talk about it” has far more to do with the fact that it’s far less commonly seen and therefore less frequently included in murder shows. How about, wake up & smell the murders, maybe??	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/22 03:06 AM
1	Women would not give so much importance to getting old if male attention was not a priority for them “The privileges attractive women enjoy” are basic human decency. But when they are deemed attractive enough, that basic human decency comes wrapped in sexualization. This is the part they’re generally happy to do without. It’s why older women do speak about the ‘benefits’ of no longer being seen in that way. The problem is that when that attraction is gone, both the sexualization and the accompanying softness are gone too. Men who find women attractive don’t just overtly sexualize them. Somethin…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/05/22 05:32 AM
4	Now that abortion rights are overturned, will you be more wary of casual sex? 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/05/22 04:22 AM
1	Women would not give so much importance to getting old if male attention was not a priority for them I don’t agree with your perspective, OP, it lacks important insight from the female perspective. But you are not exactly wrong here- the changes in respect and treatment in woman’s work and professional life, that happen as she ages and becomes less of a sexual object, is based a lot on the indirect result of male attention. This actually DISPROVES your point. Women don’t just care about male attraction. But this lack of male attraction reduces the quality of a woman’s life as she gets older. He…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/22 04:02 PM
1	Women would not give so much importance to getting old if male attention was not a priority for them “What men truly desire when they speak to younger women, the power disparities” 💯 A lot being missed by the men in this discussion.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/22 03:46 PM
2	Women would not give so much importance to getting old if male attention was not a priority for them The same way.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/22 03:34 PM
5	Q4Bluepill: In your opinion why do you think more Women iniate divorce than men? Lots of people talking about age differences when getting married. But I haven’t seen many posts with enough backstory as to why that may be (read: is). Women get married younger because they are pressured by SO many more internal and external factors to do so. And by a certain, relatively young, age. Despite what Reddit swears about women and hypergamy. I’m sure young men do experience this. But this is likely because women are dating to MARRY at this age and most men they date are nowhere near…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/04/22 04:37 PM
1	In what situation is it ok/ not ok for your partner to have friends of the opposite sex (or whatever they’re attracted to) Any girl willing to be ‘with’ a guy who thinks like this? Perhaps. People who don’t seem to trust or respect one another are generally more inclined to cheat, yes. If you truly believe a relationship is as fragile one “hot enough” guy, you aren’t in a committed monogamous relationship. ‘Hotness’ is also not the sole reason people cheat. I’d be willing to say it’s not even one of the most common. A person’s decision to betray their partner, by breaking the most fundamental “term” of their agreeme…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/04/22 09:45 PM
2	In what situation is it ok/ not ok for your partner to have friends of the opposite sex (or whatever they’re attracted to) I think it was sarcasm lol If I understand correctly, I think point was to say: you can’t disallow her to have male friends. But you can expect your partner not to have sex with them. That’s the line to be drawn, not the platonic friendship.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/04/22 06:03 PM
2	In what situation is it ok/ not ok for your partner to have friends of the opposite sex (or whatever they’re attracted to) “Only men who view women as objects instead of full people think this way” 🏆🙌🏼🏅 ETA: And even IF “all men” thought this way. That’s essentially saying women have no agency to say no and any of their male “friends” can just make all the decisions whether or when to have sex with your girlfriend anytime she leaves the house? Yes! This is something to feel concern about. It’s called rape. Ideally, her choice to cheat with a guy friend wouldn’t be rape. It would be cheating. Sexual coercion and/or m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/04/22 05:46 PM
2	Regarding the post about women being “paranoid” about assault, what are things that women do in this regard that upset you? Why is the right not to be done more important than the right to do? Is this a sincere question? The right ‘not to be done’ AGAINST YOUR WILL is more important than the right to ‘do’ AGAINST THE OTHER PERSON’S WILL. What is unclear in this? Why isn’t the right to break into someone’s home equivalent to the right not to have one’s home broken into? This is not a straw man argument. This is a metaphor and not a completely illogical comparison. And if this seems like too extreme a comparison to you…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/04/22 11:24 AM
1	In your opinion what is the perfect male height? Definitely not in disagreement with you! I don’t believe I’ve alluded at all to the expectation that penis size is to be determined by height... I also don’t need studies to sway me on it lol. Plenty of life experiences can confirm this! It goes both ways. I’m just not sure where I wrote that they were always correlated? Or that I even mentioned penis size here. Hands and fingers are also appendages measured in length and size ;) And while sure, perhaps not always- but arms, legs, hands, feet et…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/04/22 03:06 AM
6	What qualities should a man have before he can raise his standards/be picky about how his partner looks? And what things can he be picky about? It’s true. Being attracted to a person’s money will never top being attracted to the person. In a similar way that being attracted to a person’s boobs won’t either. Maybe they absolutely worship the boobs and the sex is fire. But what if the boob owner is still unsatisfied with this? What if they want to feel valued in a different way by their partner. In the same way the man hoping to acquire said boobs with his money still wants to be valued as a sexual being and not an ATM.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/02/22 11:09 PM
0	What qualities should a man have before he can raise his standards/be picky about how his partner looks? And what things can he be picky about? It really depends on which hill you want to die on. Big boobs > big brain? Big boobs > everything? Ok then, hold out for the boobs, I guess? But what if someone with smaller boobs was legitimately a better match for you? A person you may potentially have way more fun with and even be more sexually compatible with?? Being attracted to your partner is IMPORTANT. And having preferences of attraction is not an inherently gendered issue. But despite what PPD tends to believe, there really is so much …	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/02/22 10:51 PM
1	[Q4ALL] What do you consider to be the biggest issues with “modern dating” and what is the solution? I’ve agreed that there is a shared logic in my original comment. I was elaborating on why women might feel strongly about the specific traits mentioned. In the same way than men tend to feel strongly about dating “hot” women. Both women and men sacrifice in relationships. Sacrifice with regard to doing or not doing what they as individuals want. Couples are no longer operating purely as individuals. There will always be the need for compromise. And women give up their desires and their personali…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/22 07:57 PM
2	[Q4ALL] What do you consider to be the biggest issues with “modern dating” and what is the solution? I honestly think it’s just as likely (if not more) that it might actually work the other way. I personally don’t believe women (as a whole) would become automatically more selective with regard to physical traits, if character traits improved, and such were perceived and valued more highly, across the board. I think a big part of why so many women might not feel particularly driven to lower their “standards” on superficial things like height (regardless of how irrelevant they are to true chemist…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/22 06:58 AM
2	[Q4ALL] What do you consider to be the biggest issues with “modern dating” and what is the solution? I agree; I like this idea the most. This is the only real, applicable solution I can think of that may actually be successful. This would work in the OLD world as it’s already been established. It seems easy enough to implement and has the potential to change a lot! Swiping on everyone just isn’t working as a strategy. It overwhelms the person/people receiving the matches. So instead of giving the every-swiper more opportunities, as this logic would have them believe, it buries them under 100s o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/22 06:19 AM
2	Ladies, what does “something long-term” mean to you? I’m not sure that I’d ever write marriage even though it’s the ultimate long term relationship goal. Life just isn’t predictable in that way. Looking for a meaningful connection with someone I could be in a long term relationship with, and potentially end up marrying vs. I have no real intent to date for long or short term. But you can’t always know if you want to marry someone until it’s been long term. I don’t think anyone is dating with the goal of breaking up in 5 years. Just understanding t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/22 06:06 AM
1	Men are upset about being "boyfriend material" because it offers the same amount of validation that seeing a prostitute does Sadly, this concept has proven to be FAR too logical for this crowd.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/22 08:19 PM
1	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material WALL OF TEXT. Maybe I’m naive or just a woman in this space. I’m sincerely trying to understand. But I can’t totally see why choosing why/when to have sex with someone can’t vary from person to person based on how much harm may come from the potential consequences. Or literally any other factor? Like wanting to have sex one day and not a different day for no reason other than you don’t feel like it? I think this is my real concern. Sex is about FEELING GOOD. During AND after. If any person, at a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/22 05:54 AM
1	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material 100% it’s absolutely not for someone else to decide how you feel about or respond to an event. Or what you determine to be hurtful treatment, ever. I don’t disagree with this so I do apologize if it came across that way here. Admittedly, I wrote this after scrolling wayy too deep and feeling so taken aback and personally, pretty disgusted by the majority of the comments. So I may have been a little more heated in my response. Caring (or pretending to care) about things you don’t actually care ab…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/22 02:01 AM
1	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material Wait, what? I’m honestly very confused by this response. …It’s not about men thinking like this vs. women. It’s about their literal personal experience with men causing them to think this way. And thus live this way. Nowhere did I allude to “all men”. I wrote that this fear -however real or justified- doesn’t mean it will be true with everyone, every time. I also wrote that there will inevitably be people who may not in fact require one to take this level of caution, and/or who may be “undeservi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/22 12:36 AM
1	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material Text Wall Stream Of Consciousness incoming: Ok. If the above is how you feel, I’m sorry to hear that. And I also don’t think I want to marry you :( so if you want to ‘lock down’ that hot sociopath for the rage Sex then be my guest! To each their own ;) If a scarcity mindset is the only determining factor in your decision for commitment, you may not be ready or looking for a serious one like marriage. If I’m not special, you don’t actually want to marry me. So we don’t seem to want the same thing…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/22 09:12 PM
1	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material I appreciate the good faith lol I’ll try my best not to disappoint you too much. I also think this is a bit of a reach in comparison to what’s being written about in this post. And it would be hurtful, without a doubt. Just as it was hurtful for OP to hear this. It’s not something she needed to share, as I’ve expressed in some other comments. BUT! Let’s roll with this argument. She was a psychotic and manipulative bitch. LOTS to unpack here. Psychotic and manipulative bitches EXIST (in men, wome…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/22 06:07 PM
1	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material That’s fair to say. Maybe an extreme comparison. But I don’t think it’s such a stretch to gather something like this from many of these comments.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/22 05:45 PM
0	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material I don’t think she needed to articulate this to OP, personally. It feels a little tactless. But she’s very much allowed to make this choice for herself. Just as anyone would be. This, IMO, is the equivalent of someone saying “he took her to a nice restaurant and didn’t pressure her for sex after, but he took me to a dive -only after I turned down meeting at his home right away- and made sexual advances almost immediately”. …perhaps he wanted different things out of them 🤷🏻‍♀️ nothing is wrong…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/22 05:38 PM
1	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material lol I hear you. I don’t think language would make much of a difference if someone chooses to tell you something like this. I’m still having a hard time understanding the motivation for that. Was she just trying to be honest and transparent to build trust with a person she wants to have a relationship with? Maybe. But it’s something that can potentially be experienced in a hurtful way so I’d probably avoid sharing something like this at all. I don’t aim to change this language universally. And I’…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/22 05:00 PM
1	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material Ah, I see. That makes more sense now! I felt very confused by the comment myself. Both parts seem not to be in line with one another.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/22 03:09 PM
-1	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material You’re right, not everyone is indifferent to antiquated gender role expectations such as these. Not even the poster who wrote it. It’s a bit contradictory to say women are ‘giving up’ sex too easily but also that they don’t judge women based on this. The notion that “western women are giving up sex too easy” is NOT progressive.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/22 03:00 PM
4	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material Maybe try replacing “giving sex” with “having sex”. People aren’t “giving” each other Sex. They’re both having it. She lives in her body, she’s not just loaning it out to someone for the evening. The same way that a man is having sex. Not getting sex. Having it. It’s not quite as transactional as these words suggest. Every person gets to choose for themselves when, why, how/how often they have sex. Everyone. Every time. I don’t agree with what seems to have transpired between OP and his partner.…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/22 02:48 PM
1	My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend material Seriously. Hello! Women have their own lives. Their bodies are their own. Their choices about what happens/who happens to their bodies? Their own. So many of the comments here are just screaming “Women’s bodies are for men to have sex with! How dare they close the door on us!” Scary form of entitlement. A person can’t decide when she doesn’t want to sleep with someone and when she does? Sex is a bit more complicated than just friction to most complex human people. Men make choices about when, ho…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/22 02:31 PM
3	In your opinion what is the perfect male height? All other things equal, I want the person I have the most meaningful connection and feel my best with. A man can be too tall for me, sure. If it’s inconvenient. I think my “perfect” height is 5’11-6’. It feels the most comfortable. It’s appealing but it’s not a deal breaker. And if I had to choose between height and face I think I’d have to choose face. I want to love my person’s face. But feeling attracted enough to want to be with someone is about so much more than that. If it’s just something…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/10/21 09:04 AM