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balanaise Archive

View 1 posts and 53 comments by balanaise on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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34

So much this. I used to try to give closure so I’d feel like an emotionally mature grownup. But every. Single. Time. They would gaslight and manipulate and attack me. All this after texting for like, a day. Just madness. No more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 12:17 AM
12

I loved that show and that was a big reason why. So refreshing (and well done)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 02:56 AM
21

PREACH!! I needed someone to put this into words because I Feel it. The ambiguity and total avoidance or responsibility or labor from men in relationships kills me. I have my shit together, am completely financially independent, and I’d like a real adult relationship. But getting one seems impossible! There’s always some excuse why they can’t be relied upon or be expected to treat you well. Been single for yearssss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:48 PM
4

Can confirm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 01:27 AM
17

I would always be scared that it would make the guy leave. And it’s really hard to talk me out of that view
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 01:19 AM
12

This journal exercise sounds like a great practice. It sounds like it would help you get boundaries more concrete in your mind and recognize patterns of repeat offenders. Thanks for sharing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 02:54 AM
63

The difference between women taking responsibility and men seeing issues as someone else’s responsibility... there it is. There it all is right there. I feel this post in my bones, I’ve been working my Ass off to level up, and I don’t see any men actually fighting through 1/10 of the same challenges
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:33 PM
12

Damn... Ok yup she nailed it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:42 AM
26

You phrased it so well—we really do wait for them to find that other gear and it ain’t there. I know some guys who have never risen to any occasion to come through for their partners or relatives. I swore they would, if push came to shove. But nope
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:08 AM
49

Same. Sometimes I beat myself up about being single and counter-dependent, then I get even close to a relationship and I realize I’m SO disappointed. So many bring less than nothing to the table
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:02 AM
16

Same here. The guy was 32 with ED. He could start for a couple minutes but that’s it. In 5 months he only finished 3 times and needed beyond a death grip to. But he wanted sex All The Time and made Everything sexual. It only got more desperate and abusive from there. Really sad addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 09:31 PM
2

I mean, both definitely work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 11:31 PM
2

Omg how did he type this out loud for real
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 10:10 PM
22

This is so much better than what we have. I wish it worked that way here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:39 AM
1

So so so true—both the post and the original comment. 💔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 11:54 PM
12

No lies detected. Women aren’t allowed to be anything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:12 PM
33

I’m on OLD and I’m amazed at the number of guys with really lame jobs. What happened to guys having pride in being worth their salt? Did that seriously just stop after my grandpa’s era?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:22 PM
31

My family’s in this picture and I feel vindicated! The men are all spoiled, entitled, college educated and still unemployed. The women are all high earners and building futures, the men are “victims”, resentful, and quietly misogynistic even though they literally live off of the women in the family. Breathtakingly disappointing. Women could never
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:13 PM
14

PREACH. When they manage to overcome all privilege to be below average... they’re unsalvageable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:10 PM
28

Yes! I am actively burning “invigorating unique value” into my brain. That’s the metric.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 10:42 PM
3

Not a single lie detected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 10:26 PM
12

Yes! Soooo true from OP and you on this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 04:15 AM
19

Perfection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 07:39 PM
23

Such a good point about receiving energy and feeling revitalized by hanging out with good people. I spent years hanging around with takers and always wondered why I never had any energy. Now that I’ve found good people, I know that being around them refills my cup and that I need that in my life. It was a life changer to discover that, wish I’d picked up on it sooner
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 12:29 AM
9

That’s so great to hear. He sounds like he knows how to be an upstanding boyfriend and prioritize the right person. Always such a healing balm to hear good examples from the coaches and disciples how HVM act. Glad you found a good one who knows how to protect and keep you! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 11:29 PM
21

Same here, this post was a really helpful lens looking back at a past relationship of mine (in my early 20’s) too. The guy I was dating was Really Nice. The nicest guy I’d ever dated, proactively helped me with everything, never impatient, never pressured me or made me uncomfortable, all good stuff. But his Friends, ughhh. They didn’t talk about me, but they talked about women they were hooking up with openly and vulgarly with me present. It always made me feel uncomfortable to hear how men talk…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 09:49 PM
16

So much this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 04:46 AM
44

Ooh yeah gaming is out. No dice. I happen to like sports for myself, but the aggressive insistence that I love and accommodate their obsessions in a clearly one sided way is a big instant apathy thumbs down
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 02:02 AM
28

Wow I’m so sorry you had to go through this. But thank you for sharing your experience. These really serious examples bring it home for me just how insane that sociopathy and laziness is. Rant coming in 3, 2, 1... I was raised in a family of all LVM. None of them ever stand up at family get togethers. They won’t get their own refills, napkins, dessert, phone, nothing. They let my grandma who uses a walker and recently overcame cancer do everything for them. One of them wouldn’t even pour his own…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 08:41 PM
39

“A say in correcting my experiences with their gender” wow. Nailed. It.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:16 AM
16

So. Much. This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 02:31 PM
53

Preaching facts! If he’s always the victim in his narrative, watch out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:10 AM
8

I hear your “we’re all being groomed to behave a certain way” (and this is true), but I raise you “even experts have given up on men”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:54 AM
8

This is such an amazing post, thank you so much for taking the time to share it! I recently started therapy to unpack how I was raised and molded to never cause emotional inconvenience for my dad. I told the therapist I thought he might be a covert narcissist. As I described past incidents, the therapist said “Um, I think he might be a sociopath” and that really opened my eyes. One big trait from your list: Always. Complaining! Always the victim, needing sympathy. Also: absolutely coasting off t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 01:17 PM
5

Congratulations girl! Big kudos on python—that can be really fun and engaging every time you have a little breakthrough. And of course, love all the great self-care options—I’m taking some ideas for myself from those 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 11:40 PM
7

Men calling women “crazy” is among my tippity-top red flags. It screams that they push women to their snapping points... and then also claim victimhood about that. Asshole? Check. No self awareness? Check. Expecting the world to never make you deal with a woman’s emotions? Gtfo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:38 PM
50

This! FDS absolutely should be a class in high school. I needed it as a requirement
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:28 PM
6

Wow, ugh that is brutal. I know that feeling... and it’s brutal. Crazy he didn’t acknowledge your bday at all, let alone such a big milestone. Ugh, I’m sorry :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:27 AM
51

Lol can confirm. Grew up with a single father. He doesn’t know if I’ve had chicken pox, or what time I was born (Noon. On Father’s Day.) among many other things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:42 PM
4

“If men have nothing else, they still have the audacity” 😂 Preach!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:21 AM
7

Love this! Where is the lie?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:48 AM
1

If they’re doing this, they don’t care if they lose you. They don’t like you enough to keep you around if it’s going to take one iota of effort. They’re giving you an out—to save them the trouble of ending it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 12:50 AM
1

And flip the narrative to make it that women are needy. When LVM are so needy they literally cannot function without draining a woman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 12:43 AM
1

Oh wow but thank you big dummy fool for speaking the truth and just leaving it Here for us 🙏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:11 AM
1

Omg thanks for putting that into words I understand—I’ve totally been accepting fixer-uppers. Great for a house you might get value out of. Bad for a LVM who will stay that way but drain you for improvements.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 01:27 AM
1

Omg that’s so painful! And totally on him, not your fault. But I know the feeling you’re talking about afterward, when you’re like “why did I stay even for a bit? Why was I not instantly unimpressed beyond repair?” Cheers to us getting over our PickMe ways :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 01:25 AM
138

“Do you have an actual couch in your living room? Or just that one weird chair situation?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:42 AM
1

Ayy, preach sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:31 AM
1

Thank. You. I know a LVM like this, and if you shared any opinion, he would always ask, “but have you thought about X, Y, Z (random inconsequential non-factors)?” Adds nothing to the convo besides trying to make women second-guess themselves and look foolish. I usually answer that I did consider their angle and dismissed it right away, as it was obviously not a good fit. What I already shared IS my reasoned opinion, not the jumping off point for db’s. Fuck right off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:11 PM
1

Omg there’s a handbook?! Yay! I just discovered this sub two days ago and it’s already a godsend. PS to the poster above, solidarity. I’m the same, I normally drive and carry the weight for everything. Now I’m on the same journey of trying to go neutral to see what materializes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:03 PM
3

Thank you, that actually feels really validating. I’ve been really trying to work on my personal growth, and it’s been a challenge, but rewarding. But it also makes me wish more people seemed to be trying to grow too. Ha, double-edged sword I guess. But ultimately I can see why some people get stuck in patterns and can’t get out.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/20 01:21 AM
6

I dated assholes for a long time. And it was always upsetting, but a pattern I couldn’t seem to break. One reason: the men in my family are assholes, and I didn’t think there was something better to hold out for, as far as male personalities go. There is, I’m just saying I didn’t have faith as a default. Another reason: brain chemistry. I was on the wrong mental health meds. In my highs, I looked past way too many faults or conveniently “forgot” a lot of mistreatment. In my lows, I was absolutel…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/20 05:42 PM
5

My two cents: Women are very giving of themselves as they’re trained to be helpful, polite and kind from a very early age. These traits help women avoid ruffling any feathers, so people generally are ok with being around them. Reversed, if males don’t learn similar social graces in their formative years, it can be easy for them to rub people the wrong way and find themselves with fewer social partners—friends or otherwise—to choose from as time goes on. Women being more comfortable with openly p…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/20 06:19 PM
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