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ballzdeepinbacon Archive

View 0 posts and 55 comments by ballzdeepinbacon on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

So while you've worked on yourself, you're also missing an ingredient in what was your marriage - her. Absolutely if I was everything my wife wanted, we'd still be together - well, maybe because she wasn't everything I wanted - but I wasn't willing to roll over and let her do what she wanted without being an actual partner - so I called her on her stuff, my mental health suffered through the fights, etc - and it reduced me to a shadow of myself - now she's gone and I can be a much better person …
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 06:22 PM
1

Absolutely nothing negative. To the point where when she wanted a child and she booked a fertility consult - they asked about our sex life and mouths open told her that she needed to have sex to be able to get pregnant.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 03:23 PM
9

How to manage it? Don’t look at her phone. Give her privacy. Set some boundaries around the house like - not here - and ask her not to flaunt it as it hurts you. But if she’s doing it discreetly, good on her. Go get you some as well. And get some friends or a counsellor to talk to. It’s hard and it sucks, but she’s letting her hair down as a pressure release from the relationship. If she ends up dating it’ll probably go badly, hopefully she’s just enjoying her freedom. Enjoy yours.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:45 AM
8

My ex used coparent as words that meant to her that things continued as they had been when she and I were together - she ran with things. What it actually meant was I got to have an equal say and when I started to do that she quickly retreated and tried to use it against me. Luckily it was seen right through and when it came to the legal stuff I tried to do it amicably but she went to lawyers when she thought I was being unfair - turns out even after lawyers fees I’m still ahead of what my offer…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 09:49 AM
3

You did nothing wrong. You made no mistake. She’s shown her red flags to you. You’re responsible for your needs. She is responsible for hers. That means you prioritize yourself. It doesn’t mean you neglect or ignore her needs but it is her responsibility to calmly and clearly communicate them - when she fails to do that and then blames you it means she has a lot of work to do. I’ve been through a few of those relationships. I’d just walk away from that one.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 11:55 AM
3

So if she’s so quick to go from “co-operative” to fight based on you asking questions about things that you’re entitled to, then she’s not being cooperative and is trying to hide things or scam you. I went through this with my ex. Everything was good until she didn’t get her way. Then we went to the lawyers. I spent a boat load, but my lawyer found all sorts of money I was entitled to that she wasn’t accounting for. Way more than the lawyer fees cost.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 02:24 PM
3

So - your in-laws are separate from your separation - their actions, while awful cannot be controlled through your lawyer unless you’re going to sue them for assaulting you. Call the police. Have them charged. If your ex is encouraging them, find evidence and have them charged too. And you can add the inciting to the separation stuff in many jurisdictions and it will be held against them in the proceedings.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 12:50 PM
2

You got this. I lived through a similar situation with changing goal posts. Finally got it done. Cost way more than I hoped. She got less than my initial offer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 02:07 AM
9

Get yourself to a counsellor. Your love for your ex is going to cause problems in any future relationships. You need to get over the shit. If you like this girl, go for it. Hopefully the counselling will also help with your self esteem. Work on yourself hard bro. Be careful not to get the new girl pregnant or have her move in with you. Take it slow.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 01:58 PM
3

The other lawyer should give you an opinion on your chances.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 12:52 PM
3

Hire a new lawyer and fight this. You were not in contempt. And even if they consider you were, you still paid, albeit late by 2 days. And before the suit was filed. She didn’t approach you for interest. She filed a frivolous claim. She’s going to take this and use this for future wins.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 12:52 PM
1

I’m sorry you’re struggling with this. It’s a hard pill to swallow. You’ll get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 10:34 AM
1

Sure they would. They’d be happy to get you out of the country after you’d donated. I dunno, just don’t be sketch.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 03:59 AM
4

So… could you? Yes, you can sell everything in your name. Yes you could gamble it. Funnily enough, if you won she’d be entitled to half of that. If you lost, you’re broke. All of that is possible. That said, a judge could find that you did it intentionally, knowing a divorce was coming. Do you really want that? They may also decide when the marriage was over was while you still had that money. And if you actually kept the money instead of losing it, you’re in for a world of hurt and legal costs.…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 12:30 PM
17

Fuck that shit. No intimacy for years before the break up. Didn’t even want to hug me. I’ll take my chances on tinder.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:06 AM
6

Nope. My bachelor party was a bit lame.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 01:48 AM
1

Oh yeah, don’t go for new relationship. But no harm in enjoying yourself. Just be open with your expectations with the ladies. They appreciate that.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 02:33 PM
3

So... I am a bit older, but was in a similar situation. week on/off for child care. My weeks with kids I threw myself completely at them, did what I could with activities, etc. When transition days hit, so did the sudden gap in activities - it was a lot, going from super busy to nothing.. but, I built a schedule. First day was pretty easy, I'd be doing laundry and getting the house cleaned to my standards and restocking the fridge - tried to get that done so I could have a night out if I wanted …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 12:57 PM
1

You’re welcome. Hope you do well.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 01:21 AM
5

That seems like an awful lot of work to go through unless you’re in an unsafe situation or she can still access things. Block her on all the socials - so at least you know she’s blocked. Be wary of friend requests and privatize your accounts and move on with your life. Don’t give her another thought. Evict her from your mind.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 12:48 AM
7

Get a therapist for yourself. Write a list of all the negative impacts she’s had on you and your children’s lives. Then sit and think of putting them through a renewal of your relationship and a future breakup again. Cycles happen, this will likely happen again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 02:44 PM
4

Merry Christmas. Here’s to new Christmas traditions with a lot more happiness. Take care of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 01:25 AM
8

Leaving your partner is not a financial decision, it’s a mental health decision. But given the amount of fuckery many men here see from women, I expect you’ll hear a lot of “finally” comments.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 06:28 PM
5

Just be careful on this - make sure your ex has appropriate legal representation and they know she agrees. If she changes her mind down the road, it gets messy fast. I had stuff in writing my ex was trying to change.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 08:57 PM
1

In my jurisdiction child support in your scenario for one child would be $1250 a month. Plus she’d be entitled to spousal support depending on length of marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:37 AM
1

Let’s break it down a bit. Not that I think that I want this situation, but there is a lot of time involved. Make lunch - 15 minutes Make breakfast - 30 minutes Get the kids ready for school and to school - 1.5hours Pick up kids from school - 45 minutes Pick up around the house - 30 minutes Clean the house - 1 hour a day based on it actually taking way longer but say it’s an hour a day. Groceries/errands - 30 minutes a day Make dinner - 1 hour Clean up after dinner - 30 minutes. I’m sure I’m mis…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 10:00 PM
3

So… she’s already made it awkward by telling you. If you can, spend time getting your stuff in order and working with her on points you agree on. Get a lawyers advice on what you’re entitled to and what she’s entitled to based on your situation. But in doing that don’t necessarily go after everything - or let her have everything. It’s more for knowledge. You can work through the separation agreement without having to tell the family. Depending on your kids, line up some counselling. Figure out t…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 10:44 AM
0

Yes. But not in front of the kid.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 09:54 PM
17

As much as your ex is not a good person, please end all this crap in front of your kid. If she attacks, let her. You control yourself actions. Take it up later without the kid around.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 10:44 AM
4

You need to have a serious and frank discussion with your wife. What you did is normal. How you acted is reasonable. She is making you feel bad for it - and not a one time “that hurt my feelings” thing - but regularly dragging it up. Frankly that would be an “I’m outta here” flag for me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 04:42 PM
6

Stop trying to have a baby and go to counselling to talk it through. Know that counselling does not fix broken relationships, it helps you talk about the challenges and then you work to fix them if you’re both able and committed. Many times counselling delays break ups. But sometimes it speeds them along.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 11:36 PM
2

Doesn’t your judicial system have an ethics board?
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 05:50 PM
2

Record the behaviour on video surreptitiously. Submit it to the ethics board. Request a change in judge.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 02:54 PM
2

So.. let me get this straight. Currently you’re not employed. You owe her 12k a month in support and receive maybe 4 hours a month visitation? She changes the visitation based on her whims? Are any of these in court orders? If so, frankly I’d just walk away. No $12k, no visiting the kids. I would immediately enroll myself in therapy to deal with the gut wrenching feeling of abandoning my children and I would work myself into a good mental state and work on rebuilding my finances. In this process…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 02:50 PM
2

Don’t. If you’re at the point where you want to do that just break up. Even if you find no evidence, your trust in her is gone. And depending on where you are it is illegal to do that anyways.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 11:32 AM
2

Thanks for the positive post. It’s been a hard go lately.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 10:53 AM
1

Yes. You do. Run and salvage what you can. I’m sorry this is happening. While you’re at it, you’re young, if you can get some counselling through the military - help you figure out it’s not your fault and past as quickly and easily as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 11:47 PM
1

You’re going to get a lot of flak in here from hurt men. I’m going to try to look past my hurt to provide some constructive advice. Treat her as if she were a good friend. Your mental health must take priority over hers. Don’t let her challenges weigh you down. Seek counselling if you need it. While you’re doing this you can offer an ear, gently offer counselling resources. Ask her what she needs. She has to be in the drivers seat for any help to be effective. It must be something she chooses an…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 01:31 PM
3

3 years ago, I was in a similar spot. I called old friends who picked up the phone and listened. Over and over again. I joined a men’s support group. I didn’t think I was worthy. A few years later and the separation is still going on, I’m in a much better mental space even though things are hard. And I had a welcome surprise of a new partner who is super supportive and my absolute rock in life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 02:41 AM
1

Better to do a prenuptial
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 11:04 AM
1

Just wait until you do that and your ex takes mental health leave from work and you’re screwed anyways.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 10:59 AM
1

I wouldn’t delete them. Put them somewhere safe and don’t look at them. Go through them in a few years when things are settled.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 05:17 PM
1

After my separation I had a very awesome set of friends step up to be my ears and shoulders to cry on. If you need to talk, reach out to a friend. Reach out to many of them. Even if you haven’t seen them in a while. If you feel you can’t, send me a message, I’ll listen.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 12:32 AM
1

Smile and be polite but share no information. Collect information. Call your lawyer. Get your custody established and be sure you get what you want and need to have a connection with your son. I’m so sorry this is happening.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 10:20 PM
5

Not really. Call your handy-dandy local lawyer. They will be able to advise you on the current state of how things work in your jurisdiction. What I can tell you is that here as long as both parties receive independent legal counsel, most things from those agreements stand with the exception of child support.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 06:00 PM
4

It doesn’t matter what she is. She can change on a dime. Legal prenuptial agreement or cohabitation agreement. Plan for the worst, hope for the best.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 05:55 PM
2

I read your parenting schedule. It’s a nightmare. Day on/off weekdays and saturdays. That’s 7 transitions a week. Short term move to 2-3-3-2 and long term move to week on/off. It’ll build more stability for your kids. Build some supports that will help you with the kids crying and both reducing it and coping better with it. Both you and her need your time on the weekends and transitions are hard for the kids and you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 12:02 PM
4

You’re in the “get your dick wet” phase. Tell her that and say you’d be happy to oblige but want no commitments while you work on yourself. Watch the legs open.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 12:46 AM
1

I think especially at first you need to keep your distance. Later on once things settle I don’t see an issue with “big family” activities that could include other partners etc. but not if there’s drama.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 09:01 PM
1

Ok, so if you’re really getting a divorce - here are my answers to your questions. 1) figure out what your finances are today. Everything. House, cars, what major property you own. Take an inventory and value it at todays prices (and used value) - what could you sell it for. Write down your separation date and get her to agree to it in writing. It matters. Try to value what each of you brought into the marriage. Understand your debts now and then too. Call a lawyer, they’ll have a worksheet. 2)g…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 11:18 PM
21

Why is allow a word here? She will agree to 50/50 custody. Which frankly should always be the immediate starting point.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 10:38 PM
3

Depends on the law where you are. Here you can’t.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 11:09 PM
3

Go talk to your lawyer about a postnuptual agreement. This would lay out the legal framework for a future possible divorce. Depending on the laws involved your jurisdictions you may be able to protect yourself from a future issue.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 05:30 PM
19

I killed myself (almost literally) over trying to please my ex. I also got almost nothing in terms of physical affection (touch, cuddling, sex etc. she at one point told me to find it elsewhere. She told me she couldn’t give me what I needed (thinking sex) but when I told her I just wanted touch and affection she wouldn’t give that either. You can’t change her mind, do yourself a mental favour and move on, find someone who loves you the way you need. I did.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 06:50 PM
2

I’m glad that you’re in a good place with her right now. There’s nothing wrong with helping unless it’s a pattern of negative behaviour where she always needs help and you come to the rescue. One thing I would say is when she is packing be sure she only takes the agreed upon things. My ex and I were in a similar place to you and after she packed and left I found a lot of extra things had “gone missing”. I’ve also found that over time our relationship has soured even further. I’m hopeful it can r…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 11:42 AM
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