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banderson888 Archive

View 2 posts and 32 comments by banderson888 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

It's amazing what they THINK they're entitled to. Alimony is a crock. It's amazing you can cheat and then demand half of someone's paycheck for several years. Marriage makes absolutely no sense for men in 2026.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 08:45 AM
1

In a brotherly way and a possition of kindness coming from someone who's been there, I want to scream, "wake up!". If you would read your posts outside looking in, you have to disconnect yourself from her. She is a cheater. That is as ugly as it gets inside of a person. Betrayal, lies, emotional abuse. It's hard getting rejected. It hurts the ego, but imagine staying with her... Every text, every girl's night out, every business trip you'll have in the back of your mind "is she cheating?". Chanc…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 06:55 PM
1

Don't worry about "finding someone". Live your best life. Do whatever you want, when you want for a few years when you don't have the kids. Single life is actually real nice.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 10:51 AM
1

⬆️ This 100%
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 10:48 AM
3

I was in your shoes 18 month ago. 3 kids myself. I wanted to keep the family together and was willing to try to work it out. Caught her cheating 9 months later and I was done DONE. GET A GOOD LAWYER. It's all business from here. She'll try to manipulate you. She needs to get a job now. Your not her bank roll anymore. Say you'll pay 50/50 for the kids expenses. Don't pay her anything until ordered by the court or you mediate. She is going to go for the throat. I promise. Protect yourself. Work on…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 10:42 AM
10

This happens all the time and it happened to me. Woman get in shape for their new lover, or get in shape because they want to find a new lover. It's that simple, sadly. It happened to me. I wasn't a fat lard either. Women just get bored and cheat or get swooped by something new. Everything that you typed, outside looking in, she was cheating. My ex said similar stuff. They test the waters. You're better off. She'll regret her decision. Don't take her back when she comes knocking.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 02:06 AM
9

I have 3 kids and have been divorced a year. My ex cheated we (I) tried to work it out for 9 months (mainly for the kids) and I found out she was still cheating. I called it. Divorce was the only option. If there is infidelity, end it. But if you've just grown apart (that happens with kids, romance fizzles because kids/work is priority) try to salvage it for the kids, at least try. I know this may not be a popular opinion here, put the effort in for a year with your wife. Work on you. Gym, try t…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 07:08 AM
6

Get a DNA test. If the kids is yours, fine, try to work it out and stay miserable, But if the kids is not yours get a divorce attorney... and a spine. You're in a fog. You're being abused. Get out,she'll cheat again... and again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 07:14 PM
7

I've been there last year, my man. It hurts, but there is a light at the end of this tunnel and it's called divorce. When a spouse cheats it's like taking a bottle and shattering it. You can glue it back together, but it will never be the same. After I discovered my wife's emotional affair we did counseling for 9 months all for nothing. The texts I found were PG13 when I discovered it. That's why I didn't leave right away, and for our 3 young kids. 9 months later I found they where still talking…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:07 PM
20

I'm in the same situation as you brother. My Ex is living with her affair partner. We have 3 younger kids 50/50 and it's a matter of time before I meet this guy in person. I've played it over in my head. What I want to say is, "Thank you for helping me end my shitty marriage, she's your problem now and I'm much happier. Sucks to be you." But I'll probably just say "hi" through a fake smile and keep peace for the kids sake. It makes no sense to be bitter or angry or try to fight the guy. I am muc…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 01:57 AM
3

My man, how much you're defending her disgusting behavior and saying you want to make it work sounds pathetic. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to attack you. I've been there, trying to make it work, and change for them after the affair. I can tell you nothing you do will change her mind. And MULTIPLE affairs. It's time to go. You deserve more respect than that. Grab your nuts and protect your assets. Get as much evidence of the affairs as possible. She deserves the streets.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 08:55 PM
8

I am going through a divorce now, and I'm from UT. Myself 3 kids. Here is what I've learned so far. Child support is an easy one to figure out. Google UT child support calculator. Put in your salary and you have your answer. I hate to break the news, but there is a very HIGH chance she is cheating emotionally or physically on you. Women often decide to destroy a family because they are living in fairytale land with their partner. Karma will come back to her when she gets used and dumped. Your be…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 11:29 PM
2

We'll be your new family, bro. Screw her. She doesn't deserve to be with u on your day. Grab your favorite meal and watch whatever the F you want. Make it a good day. Many more drama free days ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 01:15 AM
1

Any pointers for us heading into mediation soon? In a baseball analogy, it seems like when she petitioned she was in left field, when I petitioned I had things in right field, and mediation will be trying to get parties into center field?
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 11:30 PM
4

The best thing you can do for your kid(s), and as hard as it may be, stay amicable. Don't stoop to her level. Still be firm with ex, but stay positive and kind in front of the kids. At 13, you may be able to give her some surface level stuff of what's going on, but don't talk Ill of her mom. She'll soon find out who the problem is, and she remember you as the cool headed one.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 03:04 PM
3

Your reply gave me a smile. I'm hoping they do cohabitate other than the fact my kids will be around that BS. It's good to hear someone that has been a spouse of a female bodybuilder. I agree. They think it looks good, but it's gross. Deep voice, huge muscles, fucked up hormones. The whole lifestyle is a joke and they think they look so good. No, your starting to look like a man. A good friend told me that the positives about alimony, even though it is robbery, is that you're basically paying so…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 06:58 PM
1

You said your Ex was making $36K. If you don't mind me asking, how much were you making at the time? That's $3K a month! That's ridiculous.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 03:14 AM
2

I think I will do exactly this. When we're in mediation I'll let her keep the 401K for no alimony. Not a hill worth dying on. If she goes after alimony, you can believe I'm taking the 401K and going to trial and willing to die on that hill. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 09:26 PM
1

Solid advice from a fellow Utahn, thank you. I have her financial declaration and she added up all of our marital expenses and put 50/50 on there. She is moving to a rental and many of those home maintenance expenses don't apply. Does it help if I show I have more expenses because I'm keeping the house?
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 09:21 PM
1

They can do that? in UT it's all calculated by a formula. So unless she goes for more custody, I don't think she will win that battle. I have evidence of her buying and using illegal steroids. I'll I'd need to do is ask the court to do a drug test. I COULD go after more custody, but I don't want to put my kids through a custody battle and I think 50/50 is healthiest for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 09:16 PM
2

It's an LLC. She has a website too. I thought about paying someone to evaluate it, but with no assets (all consulting, no tools or brick and mortar assets) would the cost of the CPA outweigh the cost of my half. If a CPA costs $5000 to evaluate, and my half is only worth $4K.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 06:53 PM
4

All but maybe $5K was contributed while we were married. So, you get screwed twice with alimony. once to pay and on taxes too. Geez the system is so F'd.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 06:27 PM
1

This! I'm guaranteed the $40K. Take that and maybe I can negotiate a smaller amount with out going to trial.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 05:53 PM
1

Yea, If I knew alimony was going to be less than $500 for 8 years I would go for the 401K, but it could be $1K -$2K for 17 years. The system is so flawed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 05:50 PM
1

Solid advice, thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 05:46 PM
3

It doesn't mater how much you make, it matters how much the next guy will smooth talk her. She made good money, but she pissed away most of it. It's mind boggling that women will throw everything away just to be "happy". Men will sacrifice their happiness for their family. Women will sacrifice their family for happiness. (In most cases). 70% of women initiate divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 05:45 PM
5

This 100%. I sacrificed for 17 years. Good dad, decent husband and she got sucked in by a smooth talking steroid junkie. 17 yrs of marriage and 3 kids destroyed so she could be "happy". When you cheat on your spouse you're also cheating on your kids. She robbed them of a stable nuclear family. She'll get her karma in this life, or after.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 05:38 PM
2

Good! In UT they can't take 50/50 on your disability, but they still consider it when calculating income. Ew! What a snake she is trying to take your disability when you put your life on the line and got YOUR body jacked up. Greedy lizards!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 05:20 PM
2

Good point! That's another factor/question I didn't bring up in the post. I can't find out on my web a solid answer on how they determine the worth of the business. There are no physical assets, it's basically her doing fitness coaching/consulting. She runs it 100%, but the business was started with marital funds so i would think I would get something back.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 05:11 PM
1

That's the crazy thing about this is how do you even mediate if you don't know what you're looking at with alimony. It is a gamble. Common sense says yea, take everything 50/50, but it's that dang possibility of being stuck in court for a year and ending up paying her anyway. There's been a lot of good advice on here, your's included. Unless my lawyer says NO WAY she will get alimony I may take the $40K loss and run. I do have to come up with $100K to buy her out. That $40K would help lesson the…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 05:06 PM
2

Wow, very solid advice. Thank you. I would have to finance about $100K to pay her off the rest of the house with compounding interest could be much more after paid. That's the only reason that the $40K is tempting, but I agree, the monthly psychological toll of possibly paying her anything for cheating would be worth it to just walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:51 PM
1

Very good advice. Thanks! This is the way I'm leaning, just let her have the 401K and be done. I didn't know they could come back after and possibly request alimony. I'll ask my lawyer about that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:15 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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