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View 1 post and 41 comments by banditgirl on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
22

banditgirl/r/RedPillWomen07/07/14 04:27 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

I never understand questions like this. I am a woman, divorced, paid alimony, still pay child support, and will always earn more than my ex. But I am happy in my career path (an engineer, and no I do not want to live in the woods and gather fur... wtf), and make good money. I will always be able to support myself and my kids. I have a boyfriend whom I also earn more than, and we are both ok with that because we both have careers we like. So instead of asking "are women worth it", why don't you t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/16 07:32 PM
7

I find the "Sorry, I'm not interested." more effective than "Sorry, I'm taken." I totally agree. No point in sending an unclear message. "Taken" to you might mean unavailable, but to him it could just be a challenge.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/14 03:02 AM
2

I agree, call it fighting or abuse, the two way back and forth has no place in a healthy relationship. My only issue was with the title being somewhat misleading-- "Verbal Abuse in Marriage is No Excuse for Divorce", and that she stated abusive relationships were "always" two-sided. I felt what she described was unhealthy, but did not entirely capture what I consider all situations of abuse.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/14 06:48 PM
2

I can only speak to my own experience. What I experienced was not caused by me dressing like a slut, or any of those other triggers. It was a dangerous and damaging situation. My only concern is that the article made it sound as if those types of situations do not exist. I am going to bow out of this discussion now because what is typical is NOT my experience, so I can't speak to the situation in question.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/14 06:44 PM
11

Not so. I lived with an abuser for 10 years and never once cried abuse. The people who are complaining loudly to anyone who will listen that they are being "abused" probably are not. In truly abusive relationships very often the abused appears outwardly to be living a very comfortable life, and often will not complain at all.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/14 06:40 PM
2

Again, if the wife is participating, it is a fight, not abuse. I take issue with the lack of acknowledgement of the difference between abuse and fighting in the article, not the fact that many women can and do toss insults around as easily as men. True abuse is not caused by the abused but by the abuser.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/14 04:59 PM
3

But in the rest of that paragraph, and article, she is assuming the woman has some part in it. She uses examples where it WAS two sided sparring. That is not abuse, that is verbal fighting. She calls it "abuse" but I disagree with her use of that term. I will however concede that when it is just fighting, and IS two-sided, then that is no reason for a divorce.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/14 04:36 PM
1

But emotional or verbal abuse is a different story. If you have been the recipient of a litany of curse words and insults, consider this: You are looking in a spouse-mirror. This is just patently untrue. Maybe often verbal abuse is a two way street, but that is not always the case. Maybe in our current society what many women consider "abuse" is not truly abuse. But when it is real abuse, when you are dealing with a true "abuser"... this is the worst possible thing you can say to the abused. Som…
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/14 04:24 PM
3

I like this as a perspective. You are basically advocating to play the game by not playing the game. Meaning-- if you've done your self-improvement work and your SMV is high enough, just be yourself, and frame will follow. There is no more 'playing' women because you know you are worthy of their attention, and they pick up on that. However, and what I really think makes this TRP theory and not just common sense, if your SMV is low, being yourself is a recipe for disaster. A man who doesn't lift …
/r/TheRedPill08/07/14 04:51 PM
3

Interesting. Just a side thought as I was reading through this article - Doesn't the 'Madonna/whore complex' have some very strong parallels to to the 'Alpha Fux Beta Bux' attitude of many modern women? -Men want someone sweet, feminine, and possibly like their mother to marry/Men want someone hot and kinky to take to bed -Women want someone hot and strong to take to bed/Women want a stable provider to marry The concepts nearly mirror each other. And I think the whole issue with women (not RPW) …
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/14 09:09 PM
8

Articles like this frustrate the heck out of me. It starts with a faulty, or at the very least unsubstantiated, premise that equal division of household chores is a good thing. This author never once considers that maybe the reason the division is still uneven, after all these years of feminism, is that it is because it works better that way. It's about time husbands "lean in" to some laundry. Right... as soon as the wives start doing the heavy lifting. Because why have the person in the house w…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/14 07:34 PM
12

Looking only at the specific question, and not the consideration that women also have affairs, I would say: because men like sex. If a man has the opportunity to have sex with someone he sees as attractive and no strings, why would he put in effort to have sex with a wife who makes it difficult or impossible or not fun for him to have sex with her?
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/14 01:06 PM
2

My take on it is that MGTOW is a subset of TRP, wherein the men have decided that playing the games required to get laid is just not worth the effort. The attitude is that trying to get laid by shallow, obnoxious women is dull and unrewarding. And there's no point looking for a 'unicorn'. So, focus on the one thing you can control - yourself - and be the best man you can be. Making yourself a better person both physically and mentally is reward enough, without needing the adoration of a woman.
/r/MGTOW26/06/14 02:34 AM
7

It makes me sad that decent men out there have to deal with this. I gave up on okc because my experience brought me to the conclusion that the only men on there were losers that couldn't find a woman in real life and the women on there knew this and took advantage of the men. I didn't want to be any part of that dynamic. If you want a nice girl, don't lower your standards. If you want plates, you can find them anywhere. But online is not the place to find a quality woman. Do your thing, because …
/r/MGTOW24/06/14 02:47 PM
1

This is true for so many things in our society today, not just weight. But yeah, people are so worried about offending anyone that no one speaks their mind, and so the denial grows and the 'fat acceptance' movement gets stronger. I'd rather have some honest criticism any day than blatant lies that are meant to spare feelings but only make things worse in the long run.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/14 01:57 PM
5

Bake him something! Whatever that special treat is that he loves, figure out the best recipe for it and make it on special occasions. Do something to spice up the everyday nice things you already do. Like, greet him at the door when he gets home from work - naked and holding a beer (or soda, whatever he likes). Or, buy new lingerie and model it for him and THEN give him a bj. Do something he knows you don't usually want to do, and DON'T complain (this is very subjective, but we all have things w…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/14 07:51 PM
1

We are all always on the decline. That is what the wall is all about. But I don't believe that I am the only one who made mistakes in the choice of a mate in my 20s, so I hold out hope that there are still strong captain types that for whatever reason are still looking for a good first mate. While it may be akin to hitting the lottery, I would rather focus on self improvement and not settling that chose incorrectly again.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/14 12:14 PM
5

Unfortunately the rest of reddit just skims through the sensationalist headlines and decides the whole thing is misogynistic. Ugh, not just the rest of reddit, the rest of the world! I was talking with my sister the other day about self improvement, trying to look good and cook for her husband... she goes off on this rant about misogyny, and how she should never have to try to impress him, he should just love her... but if he pulled that love-me-even-though-I-don't-try-to-make-you-happy thing sh…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/14 01:18 AM
1

If I had read what trp thinks of single moms I may have just given up! Yes... sometimes it is quite daunting. But in all honesty, I look better at 33 than I did at 23, I've dropped weight, gotten really well toned, and take much better care of my hair, makeup and clothing. So I may not have my youth anymore, but I'm confident I will hold the "wall" off for a bit longer with healthy living. I think someone said earlier they came here because of the specific advice given, as opposed to vague state…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/14 01:10 AM
1

I took Argentine Tango lessons last fall, and I know exactly what you mean! We did a lot of partner trading and I loved the feeling of dancing with a confident lead when one of the advanced students would step in ... and I love the idea of finding that feeling in a relationship too! Also, I wish you and your fiance a beautiful wedding and happy marriage :)
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/14 12:50 AM
2

That is my hope. I have spent the last couple of years working hard on improving myself, so I am confident I have a lot to offer the right man. But I am not willing to settle, and I don't want a man who considers choosing me 'settling' either, so... it might take a small miracle :) In the meantime, I will just keep working on becoming the best woman I can be!
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/14 09:12 PM
1

I'm so glad you found a keeper! And that you didn't get stuck any longer than necessary to find out the first one wasn't! But you are correct, it is not an exact science, finding a good mate. I know now how to spot the difference in a true 'Captain' type (I don't like to call them alphas because as you alluded to, a good captain probably has a mix of alpha and beta traits) and someone who is just covering for insecurities by acting tough/strong/manly/etc. But at 20 I thought he would be the man …
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/14 08:26 PM
2

I really appreciate when the RP men chime in on the RPW advice questions about relationships. Every time they do, I get to glimpse the other side of the issue that does NOT come naturally to me. I get a peek at the motivations of RP men and it helps me become more and more sure that RP is the only way for me to have a relationship. It also makes me giggle a little because just like in life, we as women here at RPW sometimes need a man to calmly, logically step in and explain. Whereas the women w…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 05:22 PM
2

Exactly. I DID marry a man like that, nearly every decision he made for us as a family unit was detrimental and harmful, mainly due to his own insecurities. I learned that without trust and respect no marriage, RP or otherwise, can survive for long. With time and a lot of self reflection I have come to understand that my need to marry a leader was (is) valid, I just chose poorly. I would never recommend a woman marry a man before she can commit to the idea of trusting his decision making. So now…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 11:11 PM
5

I was going to quote sections of your response that I agreed with to point out the really key aspects, but it turns out I agree with your comment in it's entirety! If her husband tells her "no", then a RPW knows that she needs to reconsider her reasons for whatever it is. He isn't a dictator, he is being supportive by helping her to see any destructive tendency. In contrast, a non-RPW might just think he is being a jerk, because she can't see past her own motivations. RP understanding can lead t…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 06:18 PM
2

Is it possible you had the "strong nostalgia" feelings because you and your SO are fighting? It seems like a pretty typical female response - one man isn't giving you what you want so you test the waters with another? Even if Matt has a gf, he might give you emotional tingles, in that you got him to say "I miss you" I would seriously consider your motivations for needing to text another man. If it is that your SO isn't giving you what you need emotionally, and you clearly aren't giving him what …
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 04:23 PM
2

you suddenly have security and the person being questioned is put into a place of having to qualify herself Sadly, being somewhat of a peacekeeper/non-confrontational person I usually break frame, back down, or as the OP replied in here response to your comment "go quiet, exit thru the fire doors". If I am feeling feisty I might respond with some passive aggressive comment. But your method is direct and clear, and not antagonistic. It serves to remove the emotion from the potential confrontation…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/14 08:00 PM
1

I love this. I have had similar situations with friends as the OP posted, and never handled it nearly this well. I will keep your comment in mind next time one of these catty women makes such a statement to me.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/14 07:41 PM
1

The red flags of abusive men are they are insanely jealous, quick to get angry at you for no reason, seem to have a hard time taking blame or criticism, blame all their problems on you You just described my ex perfectly. Luckily, I used my experience with him to learn some of the things you were able to learn earlier in life. Don't go back to Ahab now or I'll have to make you walk the plank missy! I have no intention of going back, but I am glad to know I can count on the ladies around here to h…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/14 04:45 PM
1

You are definitely right, it seems like many women even in their mid 20s already seem to be letting themselves go, assuming that just being a woman is enough to entice men. But I have been doing what I can in all those aspects. I agree I maybe do not look 22, but for 33 I look good compared to most of my friends/fellow early 30s women. I work out, stay very fit, eat healthy, take great care in how I dress. Also, I am naturally able to defer in a relationship to a man. (That was how I got trapped…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/14 11:39 AM
4

you wont die alone with cats if YOU DONT PRETEND your a 20 yr old belle of the ball with a 498 checklist of bullet points you require in a man Thanks for this. I have only recently become what I consider RPW, and I am in my early 30s. I worry that I missed my chance, wasted my youth on a man who was the worst of the worst. But I am totally realistic about what I have to offer a man and what I can expect in return, and I hope that you are right when you say that being realistic is enough to keep …
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/14 08:50 PM
3

I think that you can't assume that all men that agree with /r/theredpill have the same views toward relationships. I personally try to view RP men as fitting into one of the categories described in this post. So based on that type of a breakdown, I can imagine that RP men in stages 1-3 might not make great LTR partners. But of course, they aren't looking for LTRs, so it is OK.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/14 08:42 PM
3

I personally would not marry without a prenup anyway. I would want to do everything I can to alleviate any concern from my future husband that he needs to worry about my motives for marrying him. I also don't think ANY person deserves love, trust, money, etc. I think it must be earned, no matter who you are, by proving you are worthy of it. Maybe the only way for me to find a RP relationship is to be VERY selective in who I date, specifically looking only for a RP guy that is in stage 5. And the…
/r/TheRedPill03/06/14 06:32 PM
2

Exactly! If the hypergamists were smarter, they would read up on RPW and mimic that behavior. But, because of society and evolution, they actually don't have to work even that hard to trap many men, so they don't bother. But of course, this just highlights my concerns - as you said, RP guys don't have many compelling reasons to trust ANY women, when so many are just trying to ensnare and use them. Or worse, label them as obsolete! So how does a RPW differentiate herself and find a relationship b…
/r/TheRedPill03/06/14 05:07 PM
8

Yes, I find it ironic that so called "feminists" seem to constantly be trying to prove how much like men women can be. I personally appreciate femininity, as I expect you will find most of the women at RPW and (stage 5) Red Pill men do as well.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/14 04:15 PM
3

There are enough RPW out there, if you want a woman who actually values good men. I worry as a RPW that the good men out there will stop trusting all women because of these feminists and hypergamists. Wouldn't it be great if all the men and women who have realized what a cycle of bullshit the typical dating game is could find each other? I realize only some Red Pill men want that, but the ones at stage 5 know the value of a good woman :)
/r/TheRedPill03/06/14 03:53 PM
1

finding those who need little support and clearly understanding how our interactions together will benefit us both more than we could have separately. Despite popular belief, this is not easily done. This is exactly what I want. Someone who understands we are there to make each others' lives better, and if/when that stops being the case we move on. And I fully agree, not easily done at all.
/r/MGTOW26/04/14 06:40 PM
1

Thanks. I think I keep myself happy and busy very well, so obviously any relationship I might desire is not a main focus. But I am tired of feeling like the only options are the "bad boys" or the "good boys". I would only want a relationship with a man who isn't defined by how he treats women...
/r/MGTOW26/04/14 06:25 PM
2

I 100% accept responsibility for my decision to marry him. I accept full responsibility for every bad decision I have made. But I also make much better decisions now. I have learned from my mistakes, thank you. But your attitude is exactly what I meant when I said GTOW women have a struggle finding a MGTOW for a relationship. You assume I blame him. I actually said I thank him.
/r/MGTOW26/04/14 06:15 PM
1

Thank you, that response is actually very helpful in expanding my understanding of what exactly the difference is between a man who just doesn't "need" women and a MGTOW. When I initially read the article I thought along the lines of 'of course she doesn't need a man' not 'she would use him if she could' but I definitely see your point now having re-read it. I am (obviously) a female, who has without naming it, been 'GTOW' for some time now. I have a deadbeat ex husband to thank for that in many…
/r/MGTOW25/04/14 07:03 PM
-1

I am slightly confused - isn't Lily in this article emulating all the things MGTOW would applaud in a man? She doesn't need a partner of the opposite sex, and she is happy to live her life as she wants, without the opposite sex being a necessary part of her daily life. Why then are her actions being condemned? BECAUSE she is female? Can females not be FGTOW, simply because they are female?
/r/MGTOW25/04/14 03:28 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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