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baobab77 Archive

View 0 posts and 154 comments by baobab77 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
20

Congrats hun. If he has keys to your place and you have time, change those locks before you go. I'm so proud of you. Now you can go and visit your dad and really be present, because you've already taken care of business at home. I hope your dad is as comfortable as possible, and you cherish the time you have with him and your family. Safe travels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 04:37 PM
26

Congrats Queen! I hope your determination and conviction continue to drive you to be your very best!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 05:52 PM
43

No. I'd stay far. I believe in birds of a feather. Be very careful of who you befriend. Your associations with people can be very detrimental.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 05:51 PM
133

Ain't no way. I wouldn't even consider this, especially not at her age or for a "boyfriend". Love ain't that deep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:00 AM
79

Not sure about him, but this happened with George Lopez.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 06:58 AM
18

Agreed. After I did a deep dive into narcissism, trying to understand things I experienced, I lost my attention span on the subject. Once you know enough about it, everything else is just overkill and unnecessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 06:37 AM
59

So instead of bathing he uses paper towels to wipe his sweaty balls? Men are gross and as much as I hate the pandemic, I'm super happy one of these creatures can't touch me. Also, the only reason that wouldn't be my ex, is because I'm sure he'd make things worse for the real bar exam and refuse to move out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 06:32 AM
31

Thanks. I Googled it already - TIL = today I learned. Had never heard that word in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:17 PM
98

TIL what a penis sleeve is. Mercy. You literally do learn something new every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 03:27 PM
22

Been there and done that. We live and learn (the first time).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:33 PM
67

anything secretarial: no calendar reminders i.e. bills, birthdays, RSVPs; no buying gifts for his mom/dad/niblings because he wouldn't remember to; no taking on his burdens and letting him focus on work; no putting in 100% while he just subtracts, etc. Just observe how he adults.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:17 PM
68

Mercy. Audacity is right. I wish a mf would tell me I didn't feed him enough of the groceries he didn't put in on 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:14 PM
109

Totally agree. I have an ex that thought he was entitled to me cooking for him. He's still waiting. I did too many wifey things for that mf, but cooking wasn't one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 07:24 PM
8

It's almost 8 pm where I am, and it's still too early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 11:46 PM
9

I used to do this until I was walking in the mall on lunch once and saw a man steal a woman's wallet from her hands and start to run. This happened at an underground entrance to the mall, that's interconnected to many of the office buildings in the area - not unsafe. It's like he was waiting for an easy target. Luckily people literally pummeled him to the ground and security was called, so he didn't get away with it. But it's so common to just walk with your wallet when you work downtown, becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 11:41 PM
10

You're not alone. We've all been there, whether we initiated the contact or didn't block and delete them, and allowed them to have access to us. So you never feel this way again, make sure you completely seal that box. If talking to him makes your soul feel raped, then there's nothing he could do to deposit peace or love into you. Acknowledge that and remove his access to you. Block him for good. I read a meme once that said: "never let them find you, where they left you". Reading that motivated…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 10:52 PM
1

You're welcome! And no worries, sis. I wish someone had taught me that, before I had to learn it the hard way. We're recovering together 💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 03:24 AM
22

Your last sentence is everything!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 12:52 PM
230

Great re: early block and delete. My only suggestion is that next time you don't message him. Just like he was able to message you as soon as he knew you were pissed about your time being wasted, he could have messaged you without being prompted. Never prompt them to act right. Let them learn by your absence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 02:42 AM
6

Mantras/motivations to leave at the first red flag: regret is very expensive. Think of what you could have avoided in the past had you skipped out at the first red flag. Know that if you haven't learned that lesson yet, the next time you are taught it, it might come at a price you aren't prepared to pay. Time is expensive. Money wasted is expensive. But regret? Regret, when you know what you want to do and do the opposite to please someone else? That's something that you don't want to continue c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 02:35 AM
62

While people are sharing great examples of experiences on that thread, I'd caution anyone from adding to it. There are some serious FDS haters when you scroll down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 04:54 AM
12

So I'm anti-celebrity gossip and never keep up on news surrounding them. But your message just prompted me to look into the whole Christina Milian thing bc while I remember them being in the movie, I didn't know/didn't remember them dating. This man's deflection to her cheating claims are just astounding. Homie was living in her house and talking about they weren't together and if they were, and he got caught, he wanted to. Mercy. Further proof that you just leave when you peep shit, because the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 03:32 PM
28

I don't understand men like this. They go through their teens and 20s knowing what condoms are, or actually having a "strong pull-out game". And then they hit 30 and lose their minds and start leaving evidence of their fertility everywhere. I watched the show The Upshaws recently, and they refer to children born in the same year, around the same time, but for different mothers as "Ghetto Twins". Why build a career for yourself etc, if this is the "legacy" you want to leave behind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 05:58 AM
431

I literally have this screenshot from the original post. I had about 1300 screenshots a couple of months ago and was so close to just deleting the whole album, instead of going through each one. For whatever reason, I decided not to and when I came across this, I was thankful. It's a great reminder of what you're striving for when you decide to spend your life with someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 10:21 PM
175

No advice. I think it's too common for many of us. I saw this growing up and was told by the women in my family not to have such a negative opinion of men. Women whose husbands had extramarital children, who quit their jobs and expected their wife to provide for the family, who financially abused their wife and lied about their finances and had them losing their homes, who took money out their wife's retirement accounts to fund their other women. Yet I was supposed to still respect their husband…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:30 AM
9

Same here. It came to a point where I was like he's not even worth the gas, never mind the more frequent maintenance. I don't get into anything but a passenger seat now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:56 AM
9

Mercy. I didn't know this was so popular. Ladies, at the bottom of the attached link, there's an investment chart. Please review it and understand that unless you're in personal dire circumstances, it's not worth it to withdraw from your 401k. Time in the market matters. And the younger you start, the better. investment chart
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:53 AM
28

Agreed. I don't understand the shade here. Seems like money well spent to me. She achieved her goal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 06:37 PM
74

There's a post in AITA from today or yesterday where a guy called his early 20s(f) friend self-centered because she focused on school instead of getting involved in relationships in college. Now she's mad at him and he thinks she took it the wrong way. When I responded to it saying she was smart to focus on her goals, instead of being distracted by early adulthood relationships, I was thinking of situations like you've described. Many women give up way too much in these relationships, for people…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 06:02 PM
15

I hope this helps with your process. I once attended a church service on Good Friday, where the priest had us bring our burdens to the cross. Paper and pencils were handed out, and we wrote down our burdens and pew-by-pew, went up and taped/tacked it on. Because you mentioned that this isn't your cross to bear anymore, I think you may find it cathartic to do the same. Write down the cons of the relationship, the cons of having gone through with the wedding - anything that burdened you and weighe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 12:51 AM
1

You're very welcome. I'll fix the spacing so it's not so jumbled, but I'm glad I could be of help. I wish I had a mentor that early in life to tell me what's worth my time and how to protect my future/potential. Schools don't teach financial literacy, so don't even worry about not hearing about financial literacy and retirement planning. Unfortunately, many of our parents/guardians don't teach us that either. Check out the Financially Independent Retire Early (FIRE) community or ChooseFI. It mig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:23 PM
2

Long answer/post: I was done with high school people, while in high school. I had no interest in the drama and f*ckery. So as grade 12 was close to being done, I just stopped putting effort into those friendships with anyone catty or making poor decisions. I had a friend who was a major pickmeisha and would have brought me into very unsafe situations had I not dropped her. Keep in mind this is pre-fb, so the most people could do was call/text (after 6pm, many weren't worth daytime minutes) or tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 07:09 PM
96

I am dying. I did this once and wish I did it more often. Dude was horrible at foreplay and I just figured that if this part was that bad, it wasn't about to get any better. I really liked him before that and thought that I was shallow for not giving it a chance. But in hindsight, he was a lvm and I had no business even being there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:52 PM
10

And then they expect you to be enthusiastic about putting their musty junk in your mouth 🤮 And yes they have parents. But once their mother's gave them privacy and stopped bathing them, they adopted a system of getting it over with > being thoroughly clean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:47 PM
61

They're so use to receiving that reciprocating is too much to ask.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:44 PM
44

Check your credit and freeze it. If they're really crooked, they have enough information to try something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:20 AM
45

Nothing like sickness to wake you up and make you evaluate the type of spouse you have. OP I'm keeping you in my thoughts. I hope you have a great support system and that you are leaning on them. May you overcome this and thrive during your recovery. 💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:17 AM
84

Real life lvm crime stories can be so effective at getting you away from them for good. It doesn't even surprise me that he's out. When I started watching crime shows, I was appalled at how long it takes for justice, if any, is served.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 12:11 AM
58

I'm so thankful you got away. If people knew ahead of time what abusive men were capable of, they'd steer clear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 09:43 PM
2

Do whatever you need to do to keep you safe. Lie your heart out or end it and then block and delete. Is your industry or company really busy? You could try being short/distant with him for a few days and say that someone got fired and a large percentage of the workload has been allotted to you until they hire a replacement. Men hate women that are too busy to attend to them. Phase him out and when you feel safe, block and delete. Him buying a nice gift is lovebombing and only concerning if you k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 09:35 PM
247

Sadly, I'm not surprised. I read once that homicide is the leading cause of pregnancy-related death. Not childbirth, but being pregnant for an abusive spouse. Some times they let them live long enough to birth their child. But then they get rid of them because the attention is on the child, instead of them. Ladies, if you know your partner is abusive, do everything you can to get away from them and not trapped into a pregnancy. If you do get pregnant and don't want to keep it, terminate and don'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 09:11 PM
129

Or only use soap up top, because they figure it will travel south. Yes, I've read about that on Reddit. Never eat while scrolling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 08:51 PM
11

This is my favorite clip for what you should be focusing on in your 20s. If you ever find yourself off-course, watch it again. Divorce Court
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 06:35 AM
24

If you live with her, I don't care how high the cost of living is in your city, stress is more expensive (at least in the long term) and I'd suggest you move out or at least plan your escape. If you don't live with her, distance yourself. On my life I wish I understood what stress could do before it came to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:30 PM
92

I now suffer from teeth grinding from boundary crossing and related stress with a narcissist. I cannot sleep without a mouth guard and they come at $400 a pop, if not covered by insurance. Ladies, if you go to your dentist and they notice teeth grinding, run away from whatever is stressing you. You don't know how good you have it until you literally have to plan your sleep/naps, or risk chipping your teeth in your sleep. 100% wouldn't recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:05 PM
5

Check the beer money sub. You can join programs like mturk or usertesting to earn some side cash. There was a post about a week ago with end of May earnings that may interest you. Also, have you heard of the FIRE community? It's a lifestyle changer. However, you can definitely still live a champagne life, while learning how to budget on the things you don't care for or won't lead to long term financial security.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:23 AM
29

Yessss. Keep this level of conviction!! A lot of us get worn down. Learn from our mistakes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:18 AM
29

F*ck your ride or die, you have us! Please stay safe. Don't break up in person. And never, ever, ever meet up with him for closure after the break up. Do you work in person or from home? Because before you break up, I'd stock up on food, etc., so you don't have to leave your house for a while. Do you live with anyone? If not, do you have the means to rent an airbnb for the week or visit family that he doesn't know? Do not be ashamed or what you've dealt with. Real family will want you to be safe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 08:41 PM
18

Covid. Sorry, it's a habit. I watched a comedy where Kevin Hart referred to it as "the vid" and it kinda stuck with me. Also because people talk about it, without saying the name in many subs, I just stuck with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 10:03 PM
22

People are literally more scared of the vid, than they are of HIV right now. If we were living in the 80s/early 90s right now, I'm convinced the vid wouldn't be as bad as it is because people would act right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 10:00 PM
6

Because they never cheat with someone who has more to offer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:58 PM
6

While I think it's great that they're stepping up, I advise to vet them slowly. Especially if you're in a place where grandparents rights exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:56 PM
23

In addition to not babysitting, don't assist with the costs of childcare in any way. I've seen posts where childless woman move in with a single dad, and then he expects her to assist with pickups/dropoffs, or rearrange her work schedule to cater to the child's school or extracurricular schedule. When that doesn't work, some of these women have been guilt-tripped or pickmeishad into helping with the costs of childcare, since they can't otherwise assist. That is absurd to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:05 AM
12

Actions, meet consequences
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 04:36 AM
5

Get out of that environment as soon as you can. Yes, finances are important. But mental health and not being people who think like this is equally important. They're not good enough to be in the presence of who you are or who you're becoming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 03:45 AM
28

Imagine them being in this profession, and being the ones you have to call on when it's happening to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 03:41 AM
43

Yes and like a year after the fact he bumped his head and must have thought that I was interested in mending things. But in true manipulative fashion, he tried to turn the break up on me. When I hit him with the "it's unfortunate that you feel that way", he was NOT happy. Imagine your line being used on you. I still giggle over his reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 02:09 PM
61

That eye roll at the end 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 02:05 PM
37

Lol how do you have problems in two weeks? All I'd have is someone I used to know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:33 AM
27

Yesss. I watch a crime series and it is like a rehearsed script. Always opens with the woman having the world as her oyster - great job, house, and kids. But she was missing one thing, the love of a "supportive man". And then she met Johnny and ends up dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:32 AM
193

Men talk about women hitting the wall, without regard that there's a wall for their swimmers. 35 is typically the upper limit age accepted for sperm donation, because of developmental issues found past that age. For those of you who want children, I hope you find an HVM worth having them with by this age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 09:52 PM
25

Sorry that you finally have your own space and have to be worried about some dirty old man. I saw this advertised in a travel group once, and think it may help you feel more safe while you're inside your apartment. travel door alarm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:57 PM
59

Glad I haven't supported UNICEF since I was a kid, taking around the little Halloween donation boxes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:39 PM
1

I got a degree and did post-grad right after high school. And then started a business certification through a top school in my area at 27. You're not too old. Honestly, with my work/life experience, I feel like I did better and was more coherent at 27. Group work sucks more, because you just don't have the patience you already didn't have when you were younger. But other than that, it was great. What inspired me to go was being in a meeting where we discussed the associates at my job and if our …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:05 PM
22

Not sure if you were using real life examples or hypotheticals, but I'm sorry if you experienced those traumas which led to your grudges. Mine were typically financially-involved lies of an irresponsible parent. Guess who doesn't like being lied to or not believed, when you protect yourself and your livelihood because you can't trust that they'll pay you back? Liars. At this point, I don't even know if I can call it a grudge. I'm just not with the shits and they know not to try me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:20 AM
183

Are you me? With the exception of having divorced parents, my sperm donor was the first person to teach me never to trust people. And when I'd get mad over a fact, my mom would wonder why I'm so worked up, since he'd lie to her and she'd heard and believed a different version of events. Once he lied to the point that I didn't believe a word he said, then I became the bitter person with a grudge 🙄 Umm I don't have a grudge. I just don't have time for the bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 10:27 PM
138

Love this. I'd also add that if you didn't block them, or if you did and they find a way to contact you, read the list before replying. Hopefully it stops you from responding at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 09:20 PM
7

Congrats on blocking him and freeing yourself of the anxiety his presence in your life provided. Beware of numbers you don't know calling or texting you. I had an ex change his number after I blocked him. Let unknown numbers go to voicemail or be left on read. Especially around holidays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 04:41 PM
15

Wow. I just looked up average times and couldn't believe the discrepancy in his answer. I don't think they realize that once they lie about one thing, they have to continue lying and be believable 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:11 AM
110

Mirroring - you telling them about a hobby or cause that you support and they tell you enthusiastically that they do too (to create a fake bond). Always follow-up with a question. I had a scrote try to sleep with me unprotected once. I told him absolutely not. Not only because of my own personal health, but because I volunteer in public health and support certain causes. I'm too involved to act differently/hypocritically, when I've seen and work with people who've already been afflicted by disea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:48 PM
8

Thank you, queen. Never heard the word "avaricious" before and had to look it up. You taught me something today ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:51 PM
13

Let me introduce you to Deborrah Cooper. She'll take that right out of you. No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:28 PM
20

Does audacity grow somewhere? Do they sell it in stores? What does one have to go through in life to gain access to it? There's a disconnect for me somewhere, because I'm just not understanding how someone could look you in your face and fix their lips to ask you this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 02:04 PM
36

You don't. To me, this is equivalent to when men try to triangulate you. You don't respond. They want you to prove yourself to them. If you're in neuroscience, then you know you have other things to spend your energy on. Commit yourself to those things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 10:31 PM
27

Thank you for sharing your story. Narcs are hell to deal with. But I think if you've learned anything about your relationship cycle and narcissism, you know that you need to block and delete him on EVERYTHING. Narcs love to keep a harem, and waiting for the hoover means you haven't done enough work to know that him coming back is not something to admire. If/when he comes back, you shouldn't feel all giddy inside. Because you deserve more than some inconsistent person that can't do right by you, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 09:59 PM
88

I think men need to be doing these things before they become your bf. Meaning, it starts in the courting phase. Not to place blame, but why are you committing to men that aren't doing the things to make you feel special? Even if you're dating multiple men, if none of them are making you feel like you're worth going above and beyond for, you don't need to pick from that pile. You can continue your search until you meet a man that wants to do these things for you. My niece gets spoiled by little b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 07:21 AM
29

FDS cheers to your progress and continued journey to sobriety. May the peace that surrounds you on this journey continue to provide you with the conviction to always do what's best for you and never get derailed by a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 07:31 PM
5

I'm literally watching a documentary on the Amityville Horror and don't know if that or your comment re: your husband is worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 07:27 PM
76

Congrats queen! My only concern is if the same complex is far enough. Do they run any other apartments you can afford? Are you staying with them because your name is on the current lease, and that's the only way to get it off? The fact that you're already willing to contact the cop, sends alarm bells for me that living in the same complex isn't far enough. Do you work outside of the home? Or can you literally move and then be a hermit for a while?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:29 PM
1

Lol I can't unsee Blair Underwood's fiance beating ways from Madea's Family Reunion, so I understand. Still think he's fine, but he played that role a little too well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:46 PM
6

Rickyyyy 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 07:39 AM
9

I'm showing my age, but... Malcolm 😍 (Y&R for the young ones)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 07:39 AM
9

I literally laughed when I read "I don't understand", because I say that when I damn well do understand, but can't comprehend the audacity. If you can still block him, do it. They get bored and his audacity has no bounds. Edit: word
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:53 AM
49

If you ever needed more convincing that being single is peaceful...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:50 AM
2

Lol I have an ex who loved performing oral. Thought he was amazing at it too. Too bad he didn't know where my clit was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 08:49 PM
9

That's called mirroring. They do that to build a false common ground with you. If you experienced anything like me, when they said it, you knew it was insincere. I asked follow-up questions which tripped him up and then he was mad that I'd judge him on that. Umm, I will definitely judge you for being a lying, liar, that lies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:38 PM
6

That's ok. You live and learn. I'm glad that you were quiet about identifying details. Police officers are a no for many of us because of the stats. No exceptions to that or the military rule.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:21 AM
9

I'm glad you came to this conclusion, but want to know how much he knows about you? Your address? Full name? Employment? License plate? A little bit of that will take his resources far. Please be weary of that, because he may not take it well that you've ended things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:12 AM
306

Omg what you said about him coming back when his boys are all boo'd up is so true. Men love men, but sleep with women. Some times they're only spending time with you, because his boys are all boo'd up and aren't available to him. Then when breakups run through the group, all of a sudden you have relationship problems that you didn't have when his friends were preoccupied.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:10 PM
3

You're a savage... And I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:18 AM
12

You were smart to protect yourself. I watch a lot of crime tv and have a list of hell no's re: standards thanks to everything I've seen. Military men are at the top of that list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 08:55 PM
39

Girl, I salute you! Whatever (healthy) vice you indulge in, do it extra this weekend. You've done extremely well for yourself. And it's such a therapeutic feeling to be your biggest supporter and smash the dreams of people who didn't think you were worth their time. Kudos, kudos, kudos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 08:40 PM
41

I love donating old clothes, but when I was younger my mother would go through them and give what she thought was appropriate to other people. Even if I was done with the clothes, it would bother me to see them on family/friends for whatever reason. When I started buying my own clothes, I put a stop to that. Community donation boxes became a thing, and I'd drive my clothes there and throw them into those boxes, never to be seen again. It was cathartic. Once I started dating, despite their attemp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 08:30 PM
42

I've never seen the attraction towards him...until now. Him, with short hair and that smile? 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 08:23 PM
2

You're very welcome. Not all of us come from upbringings that encourage financial responsibility. Some of us learn these things because of what we don't want for ourselves. But if I can point even one queen to resources that some of us learn too/very late in life, I'll be happy. While both books have great information for women, it wouldn't be very FDS of me to not suggest one written (or at least co-authored) by a women: Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin. She's considered to be a founding …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:15 PM
22

On today's episode of all men have to offer is audacity... The way I just side-eyed his dream situation. MERCY. The audacity for him to not just think this, but be bold enough to tell you these plans, like they'd be appealing to you 🤨🤨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:45 PM
78

Also stay away from men who have deadbeat dads and have not gone to therapy to deal with any trauma from their abandonment. I dated a man who at almost 30 would bitch about his deadbeat dad and then went on to stealth me. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:46 PM
9

Ladies, I IMPLORE you to read Smart Women Finish Rich by David Bach. Even if you're not yet on the FIRE (financial independence retire early) track, you need to read it. If you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s+ - it's necessary. The updated version of the book has stats that say the average woman is widowed by 59. So if you're not taking care of your business and depending on a man, you can find yourself f*cked before you're ready to retire. Even worse, if you're suffering from financial abuse and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:15 PM
101

Next time, please drive to a police station. You should never go straight home when you notice you're being followed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:32 AM
13

Congrats!! If you're in a relatively safe place re: covid, see if there is a reformer pilates studio near you. I cannot even describe the peace I had when I joined. Sometimes I'd enjoy it so much, that if there was enough space after my first class, I'd do a second one. It got me in THE BEST physical and mental shape of my life. I say mental, because you cannot be focused on your instructor and your problems at the same time. It's at least 30 - 60 mins of focusing on becoming your best self. And…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 11:40 PM
12

Right there with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:04 AM
15

We've all been there. I think there's a post in the handbook, but I get that it's difficult. We have to forgive ourselves for the way we allowed ourselves to be treated. There's so many things I'd love to say to the scrotes that treated me horribly, but they're not worth our time. So the only thing we can do is look forward and practice kindness and care. I think the reminder of what we've been through enforces stronger boundaries. When you're no longer in a state of "pickme fog", you see things…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 05:13 AM
49

I had a similar experience. He told me he didn't get around like that. I replied, "like what, protected?" He thought I "looked healthy", and all I could think about was how many chicks has he been with that looked healthy? He then proceeded to pout. We even went to the store to get stuff for his house, and this man still didn't buy them there and was astonished that I hadn't changed my mind when we got back to his place. I had to call my cousin for something and told them I'd be on my way home s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:30 AM
210

I have a love/hate relationship with true crime. Love it because I find the details fascinating, hate it because it's reality. Real people, real losses. Having gone through an age gap relationship, I agree with your friend's theory re: these men hating women. They go for "girls" instead. Young ladies who are happy with life, probably aren't as jaded, don't see red flags as a signal to get the fuck out of dodge, etc. People who haven't been around the block and can foresee the bullshit. For mine …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:38 PM
50

Yup. And if you avoid the words they tell you, you'll remember them when you've already wasted your time or worse. Those words will haunt you because they warned you about the fuckery you were getting involved in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 05:00 PM
128

Say no to age gap relationships! Jeeze, everyday you queens post a reason for me to become a recluse. I feel sorry that she experienced this at such a young age. And I really hope that her parents rage stops her from ever reconnecting with him. Mercy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:48 PM
19

This is really sad. If her goal is home ownership, why is she splitting efforts? I know people who get second and third jobs to save for a down payment and the cost of the first few years of home ownership. And your friend is paying down debt for a man who can't afford to contribute to the lifestyle he's going to benefit from? I'm betting his name will go on the title too, even though his credit is probably too shot to be included in the mortgage. Ladies, we HAVE to do better. Not having kids wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 02:02 PM
27

Happy Mother's Day and thanks for sharing your story. I hope you have a great support system where you are now. Also, if you haven't yet, it's never too late for a divorce party. Celebrate your emancipation from that louse!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 01:49 PM
356

Lol I had a guy tell me that he was an asshole and if I stuck around long enough, I'd see how much of an asshole he could be. He was then pissed when I declined to be his girlfriend, after never going on a date. Like dude, all I know about you is that you're a self-proclaimed asshole, who is too cheap to court me. Why would I get involved with you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 05:45 AM
27

This whole situation made me realize that I'm a runner. I would have been counting down the days until the first lease was over. I hope you're this kind and patient with yourself. I really do. The audacity and psychological impact of leeching men is a hell of a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:50 AM
64

Awesome. He must feel such a loss of control knowing he can't just pop by. If you do need to go to your old apartment, make sure you don't go directly home after. Never know what he'll do, since you're not open to having him over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:47 AM
2

Get out of where??? Her own house?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:39 AM
3

That is not lightly. He entered her house without her permission and left a used condom. I can't imagine the anxiety of someone entering your house without you knowing how, and realizing they could have done anything while they had access to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:38 AM
20

How'd they make it to 4 months if he wasn't ready to date and told her he'd never give her her dream date? I'm confused 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 11:53 PM
23

The worst part is that abortion is still illegal in most of these places. So even if a woman found herself in this situation, the laws and lack of services keep her linked to these animals for a lifetime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:25 PM
38

Exactly. "Will you wait on him?" Umm I have my own shit going on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:16 PM
62

Being blocked and not knowing who they are when they change their number because they can't harass you from the old one. When they cheat on someone and that person moves on, and wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire. Not getting a rise out of you when they try to make you jealous over a next chick. Seeing their ex level up - career-wise; relationship-wise; lifestyle-wise Thinking they still got it like that, and learning they don't. When their ex denies knowing them. Being expected to be a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 03:25 AM
53

If he could buy biscuits, he could buy vitamins. Hell, he could buy yogurt, cheese, milk, cucumbers...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 03:03 PM
79

And biased towards women who want to be sterilized. "WhAt If YoU mEeT a MaN wHo WaNtS cHiLdReN???? This kind of man? The type who can't put two and two together? The type who'd have my children starving? I'll take my chances
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 03:01 PM
27

Thanks for suggesting Blink. This book has been on my tbr list for at least 2 years, and I think you just moved it to my reading pile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:00 AM
43

I am so glad you left when you did. Seeing threads of women going through these kind of things for decades is heartbreaking. And being a detective is such a waste of your life. This reminds me of a spoken word video I saw years ago, where the poet talks about being a detective. Hope that if/when you watch the link, you feel supported in your decision to not be bothered with digging for what you already know. second guessing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 01:36 AM
46

Special bread with smoked salmon and cream cheese? A man after my own heart. Thank you for sharing this. The whole thing, not just the food part lol. The thought and detail this man exhibited is admirable 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 11:54 PM
21

Imagine a bum ass man, talking negatively about you, after you've spent money to upgrade him 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:23 PM
210

You literally told him that you work every day. And he read it, and replies telling you that he's looking for someone he can hit up at the last minute. Like where in your message does it say you have time to be in limbo waiting to see who calls you on a day off. Ughhhh! Men irritate me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 11:39 PM
74

Love the Keg and this story. For safety, the only thing I'd suggest next time is that you pay the waitress (your part) one time when you go up to split the bill, and then bail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:53 PM
17

Can you work from home? I know it's not ideal in every situation, but I'd make mention of it to HR. I.e. forwarding the email you sent to building management re: harassment, and now informing your company that your safety is not being taking into consideration and that you'd feel safer if you could be accommodated to a work-from-home arrangement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:41 PM
13

As long as you don't respond, you're still on the right track. Keeping it can be a source of entertainment for you. We support your growth 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:14 AM
98

Correction - Kourtney and Scott never got married. They dated on and off for almost a decade. While I believe he intended to marry her and even bought a ring, he never officially put a ring on it. He can be as uncomfortable as he wants. He dated Sofia Richie who is 15 years younger than him, and about 20 years younger than Kourtney. And now he's uncomfortable that she's dating an age appropriate man? She's had other relationships. But I guess because he's ready to make an honest woman out of som…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 03:06 AM
3

Been cutting off pickmes since high school. Had a white friend who became obsessed with black culture and black men. Changed from our high school in damn near Pleasantville, to go to one in the hood. Would take the bus to visit guys that lived in community housing. No shade to community housing. I grew up with guys who lived in those neighborhoods, but I was driven in and out. This girl wanted me to go with her to visit random guys. I think the f*ck not. One of my friends was dumb enough to join…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:54 AM
120

And I'm content with them dying mad 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:32 AM
31

Generally, the ones that make your body scream don't engage, fuckboy approaching, make up the most outlandish ish. One told me that he taught his ex how to drive and helped her save for a car. Then she cheated on him, bought her dream car (an Infiniti) with the money, and drove around town with the other guy. Needless to say, he was: 1) a lying liar that lies; and 2) a cheap mf who thought I'd finance him. A next one told me that his ex didn't communicate as much as he needed and had been so evi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 03:22 PM
85

Peace and blessings for a safe journey out of the industry. Sorry for all that you've endured. Be kind to yourself. You're safe here ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 06:53 AM
3

So true. As easy as it is for you to do a little background check, it is just as easy for a man with bad intentions to get your info. If you're not afraid of men, watch a little crime tv. Men don't need or use any rationale to do crazy things. Just a motive for deep control over your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:01 AM
243

Heterosexual men love men. They just like to sleep with women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:51 AM
343

Will I be punished by an aura of peace too? 😣😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 08:11 PM
41

This was too much to read this morning 🤮 my eyes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:40 PM
4

I know a lawyer that works in wills and estates, who's husband (fellow lawyer) screwed her out of her pension and marital earnings. Protection and execution of assets is literally what she does, and her own weren't protected. Never trust men and never make lifelong decisions based on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 07:55 PM
6

Lessons: Don't get married before finishing education. Pickmeisha love kills your brain cells
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 07:43 PM
8

Deborrah Cooper has a great video on mastering your emotions. Controlling Your Emotions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 07:22 PM
18

She has the cojones to write all this in a public space, yet still calls this man her bf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:38 PM
33

The answer is never. He never washes or changes his bedsheets. If he did, he could have also thrown the original shower curtain in from time to time. That thing alone would make me run for the hills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:30 PM
103

If I discovered this, you'd think I went into witness protection. That man would never, ever, EVA be able to find/contact me again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 05:07 PM
5

Never talked about it. I had a stomach ache about 2 weeks before and my mom bought me kotex pads. Back then, they really seemed like budget pads. No wings, no explanation of them. When it happened, we were out. And I was so ashamed of explaining, that I told her we need to go home. I don't feel well. And she didn't get the hint. I basically had to turn very stern for her to understand. It was all horrible. She made me feel like I was a late bloomer, because I was one of the last to get it. Never…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 09:32 PM
3

It really is. Now that you've read it, I swear you'll remember it if you're ever in the situation. No better deterrent from (potentially) diseased d*ck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:50 PM
15

Even if this happened, I'd just delete the comment and block him. I don't keep people who try to create drama in my life. And if my bf had a problem and didn't believe that there was nothing going on, or had never go on, he could kick rocks too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:12 PM
10

"I'd still want to fill you up" 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:54 PM
31

Yup. Read an article years ago on a platform for women that said when a guy encourages no condom, it's because he's not afraid of you having anything worse than what he's got. That thought replayed in my head for any man that tried that ish on me and I'd gtfo pronto. Edit: spelling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:53 PM
57

Because he has no interest in being anything but a kodak dad. Just there for the happy moments - not the middle of the night feedings; supporting you post-partum; taking sick days for the kids; too busy for parent/teacher interviews. He sounds like the type to trap his bangmaid. Also, I was 23 dating a scrote that was 29. It's a mistake. The closer to 30 they are, the less afraid they are to get you knocked up. This scrote stealthed me and 100% believed in the pullout method, while having daddy/…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:30 AM
4

Don't know her, but I love her for doing this for you and your friends. I read a reply on another platform and a woman said that when she was in her early teens, her parents had an informative party for her and her friends. They invited a planned parenthood counselor to talk with them and her father had a sincere talk with her about choices and consequences. And told her that as much as she can control them, always make sure that she can live with her choices. Because the consequences of those c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 01:23 AM
11

The most important thing is that you learned. And while it may have hurt that he wouldn't have sex or provide you with any form of intimacy, at least you can feel good about your sexual health. Leaving this situation and not having anxiety about being as sexually healthy as you were prior, is a big weight off your shoulders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 08:28 PM
23

So so true. I was at a wedding once with a scrote, and his cousin was hitting on a group of girls. This was happening while his pregnant girlfriend sat next to me, just staring him down. And then she got fed up, and decided to leave. I looked at the scrote and asked "aren't you going to do something?"And he said, he's not getting involved. I said, it is not a matter of getting involved. She's literally heavily (third trimester) pregnant with your little cousin, and you don't care if she leaves h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 11:00 PM
28

And when they think they'll be told no, they do it anyways and then ask for "forgiveness". I.e. it's better to ask for forgiveness, than for permission. I read about it in Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, and it was true in so many facets outside of work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:12 PM
33

I literally only eat ice cream in a cup because of this. Men are gross. I also won't eat popsicles around them, lollipops. The list goes on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:10 AM
6

I'm so mad for you. How do you get written up for reporting verbal abuse in the workplace? Where I am, you could report the company for condoning a hostile environment. I hope the goddesses are looking over you and bless you with a new opportunity to rise above this scrote and the company that protects him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 01:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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