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barbaramanatea Archive

View 3 posts and 108 comments by barbaramanatea on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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16

It’s 2020, ladies. We are only dating men with headboards. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 01:31 PM
10

The Guardian often reflects the radical feminist leanings in the British population to my delight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 06:58 PM
6

I would send that message, then unmatch/ block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:18 PM
90

Idk... in the most recent season (5th?) I think there were miles between the gym owner vs. the mom who was caregiver for her dying husband. To be fair there were some excellent men, like the fishmonger opening a restaurant. But there were also some dudes who were very subpar- like the DJ- who the only way he gave back to his community I could see was sometimes having family around? Compare that to the 18 year old environmental activist, the working mom/ pediatrician, or on last season the high s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 04:14 PM
770

I think it’s interesting how the women on Queer Eye are typically neglecting themselves because they are pouring so much into their families and community, whereas the men on queer eye are neglecting themselves because they are just too lazy to have tried.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 11:53 AM
7

One time I liked a LVM just because he worked for NASA. Success is a must have, but not the only criterion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 03:09 AM
5

You can also use it (sparingly, of course) on his friends like “Josh is too good to be true, he doesn’t have anything for me to worry about, right? No secret family?” It might seem mildly crazy but it’s no less crazy then men actually having secret families on the side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 07:20 PM
11

This is why I like to ask point-blank questions like “good thing you have no secret kids I should worry about, right?” In person, especially if there is a relevant news story or movie moment. Watching his face fall is the answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 05:59 PM
19

Networking in person particularly through friends. Ask your friends to set you up. It’s gonna be better then tinder. Physical hobbies, like climbing gyms and social dancing, tend to have better men. If you are religious, church is a decent bet but be careful for hidden misogyny. HVM are out engaging with the world. And a pandemic is not a good time to look for a new relationship imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 06:02 PM
17

Porn. It’s a porn word now. Sorry to bear the grim news.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 04:58 AM
42

And this, ladies, is why we don’t share passwords. :) now you never will have this problem again thanks to him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 09:58 PM
11

I think that the red pill guys think that we want any guy that has money the way that they want any girl that has looks. This is so not true, lol do they not know how many bland problematic rich dudes I could have take me out any time I wanted? I want guys who use money to demonstrate that they are interested in ME specifically and to show that they value relationships unlike the other dudes who just want to get laid like this pathetic guy. I don’t actually need or want the money he spends on me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:27 PM
4

This is almost exactly how I feel. Also young and bi, and I would prefer to be childfree with most men or have one child only with a very well vetted man or a woman. I am not thrilled about pregnancy, but adoption has more ethical concerns than I was raised to believe, so I would probably do a lot of research to ensure ethical adoption or hope my wife would be willing to bear the child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 01:23 AM
2

Leaning towards no, but if yes, I think I would prefer to have one child and be done. Motherhood is a much larger burden than fatherhood, and it’s so unlikely to become equitable during my childbearing years. However, I am young enough to have just shy of 2 decades of childbearing potential remaining, so this may change. I think my answer is “probably not, but yes if the right partner came along, in which case I would have one.” I am bi, and would consider kids with a wife far more than a husban…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 01:20 AM
49

Love it when the trash takes itself out. Do these men not realize that they are EXACTLY the ones we want nothing to do with? Hahaha stay mad that my standards rule out your broke misogynist self
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 01:16 AM
5

Still, I don’t hear about elderly women being sex creeps. Spoiler alert: the men are the problem. 70% of female nurses report sexual harassment from male patients and colleagues. .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 07:02 PM
21

Property sales are public records. Most courts also have crime records publicly available online. Be woke by doing the research. Vet landlords, boyfriends, business partners, roommates- you have nothing to lose but ignorance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 05:29 AM
30

I respect sex workers... which is why I want better for her. I want her to not believe this derision and abuse is normal. I couldn’t even watch the video, it’s disturbing and not funny or cute at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 05:21 AM
79

Sister, SAME! Proud to see your progress and this amazing attitude. I made a new Year’s resolution to myself to get back to a healthier sex and dating life. Here are my rules for myself: 1) no online dating 2) no casual sex with men (I’m bisexual and women are still on the table... because they aren’t fuckboys) 3) no more porn, replace it with erotic lit and audios and my imagination, which I already used and which don’t contribute to rape and sex trafficking 4) buy a good vibrator to make 2 and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 05:10 AM
2

Are you me? I also have post COVID volunteering plans (though not for grad school). It has been a long term plan of mine to volunteer on home repairs for low-income communities because I think it’s a great way for me to learn those skills while giving back! I also want to volunteer in performing arts for that sweet free admission and have been really feeling moved to put actions behind my feminist words and start volunteering for women’s shelters or campaigning against sex trafficking. I think I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 04:57 AM
3

I feel you. I’m still not 100% at my fitness goals but I am closer to comfort in my body than I’ve ever been and it’s frustrating to be surrounded by women who aren’t because it makes it easier to slip back into that insecure mindset. I started picking friends based on having a leveling up mindset and it helps. My closest female friends irl reflect this- one works at a major tech company (think Facebook size) and the other is a pre-med student. To be fair, I went to a good school and that’s wher…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 04:30 AM
18

I don’t think your characterization of Anna’s message is correct. She often says she wants you to add your own “spice” to being elegant. She acknowledges that there are many different ways to dress that are elegant. Can you point me to some videos or quotes where you got the impression Anna wants you to be docile and submissive? She is actually quite strong in advocating that you have your own strong career and income but that you do not use this to benefit or build a man. This OP is NOT looking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 06:44 PM
96

I couldn’t even finish it. I was formerly ok with some mild BDSM (nothing this extreme, but still) and now that I stopped having casual sex with men and watching porn, I finally have the appropriate response to reading about abuse like this, which is to be totally nauseated. One New Year’s resolution to myself was to regain a healthy sexuality by buying a vibrator, quitting casual sex with men, leaving online dating behind, and going cold turkey on porn. I still use written and spoken erotica, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 06:23 PM
47

He mentions his son, so quite unlikely to be an incel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 05:34 PM
272

The “Should the Government Be Mandated to Give You a Girlfriend” guy is not quite what you expect. I laughed out loud when I watched it, it’s joyful. Obligatory YouTube link.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 01:38 PM
73

Dating me is a pay to play game, not a pay to win game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:29 PM
14

I agree. One of my new year’s resolutions was no dating apps. Not even if I’m bored during quarantine just to “see” just cold turkey quit and replaced with a language learning app. Now I’m building my knowledge instead of tearing down my self esteem. I think it should be in the rules. I made excuses for years because I am bisexual but tbh, as any bi woman will tell you, it is mostly couples looking for threesomes out there and barely any women worth dating on those apps. So I gave it up and am h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:58 PM
15

This is why we don’t date older men, ladies. It’s also why I have qualms about women getting into very serious relationships before 25. And moving in together before engagement or marriage. If he can’t marry me, he isn’t going to be eating my cooking and living in my home and having access to all my precious belongings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:28 PM
29

Oh my, you have given me a brilliant “dumb fox” plan. I am a very frugal person and also working towards financial independence/ early retirement. But the men in my life don’t need to know that second part, they can simply observe my thrifty lifestyle 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:11 AM
10

This is my mom. And most of the women I knew growing up in an evangelical subculture. Yikes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:17 AM
30

To make sure it’s legally enforceable it should only cover financial agreements. I would basically say that 1) healthcare expenses come from our shared account and 2) as such, healthcare expenses must be equally covered in case of a divorce during a health crisis for whatever pre-existing health conditions there were at the time of divorce. I’m also a big fan of the idea of making an informal not-legally-binding agreement about large life issues before marriage including chronic and terminal ill…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 10:39 PM
87

This is why a chronic illness clause is going in any future pre-nup. You can leave if I’m sick but it’s gonna be expensive as hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 06:24 PM
5

I feel you! Since I joined this forum I started a business, joined a gym, and replaced mindless online dating swiping with a language learning app. Loving the journey 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 04:48 PM
26

I agree. I would rather be prejudiced than raped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:42 PM
3

I think this take is both homophobic and wrong. Men can hate women without being bi or gay. Many heterosexual men do hate women. There doesn’t need to be an explanation of self-loathing or homosexual attraction for men to hate women. Some men are truly evil and lacking in empathy. And that’s the end of the story. It isn’t something to be blamed on a shitty childhood or internalized homophobia because many men (and even more women) grow up with those factors and do not turn out so hateful. I will…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:30 PM
4

Nah what matters aren’t the other girls. It’s that he is willing to string you along for TEN months. Imagine waiting for 10 months to hear back about a job interview. After 2 months you would cut your losses and apply to other jobs. Same thing applies here. This is not boyfriend material behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:51 PM
92

I think it’s shocking that women couldn’t have their own credit cards until the 1970s. We feel that our rights are unshakeable but they are still in infancy and must be fiercely defended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 02:52 AM
17

Idk, my sister is in high school and her boyfriend pays for all dates with the money he makes at his after school job. He even ordered delivery to our house a few times during quarantine and regularly drops off little care packages on the porch with her favorite teas and snacks and baked goods his mom makes. My college ex picked up odd jobs and did clinical research studies to make money to pay for our dates. The deal we had worked out was for every dinner I cooked at my apartment, he would take…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 06:50 PM
5

I totally agree. If I marry anyone he or she will be the type of person to give me multiple rings. I would love to be in a relationship with a fellow maker, I have not made rings but I am always itching to create and share my creations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 03:37 AM
1

I think the existence of the rough sex defense is the best argument against rough sex we could possibly have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 10:01 PM
6

For me I had done a ton of research and realized that Mirena and Skyla are fantastic choices compared to the IUDs of our mother’s generation. Lower doses of hormones, lower risk of device failure, more effective in preventing pregnancy than a tubal litigation yet far more reversible, and 25% of women using mirena including me have their period reduced to spotting or nothing. I know less about non hormonal IUDs but from what I have seen they are also great options. It is truly the best decision I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 10:35 PM
12

Also imagine trying to defend that woman at a trial. She consented to many rape-like scenarios, so he can just say “she consented to this one, too” and it makes it nearly impossible for her to prove her case. That’s another HUGE danger of the “non-con play” kink.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:53 PM
20

This is anecdotal but I have a hormonal IUD and I love it. It’s a lower dose of hormones bc it’s localized, getting it put in sucked but not much more than a bad period cramp, and now I can barely tell it’s there. Plus for me it made my periods reduce from 7 days of horror to light spotting for like 3 days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:42 PM
19

I’m in my early twenties and I have similar feelings! So glad I found this sub and radical feminism as a young woman because I have been tossed back and forth between conservative religion and liberal feminism and neither has felt like a home. But here, I know my worth, and I have the freedom to believe my own perception of reality, the gifts of fear and intuition and discernment are not frowned upon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 05:35 PM
63

I love how these points contradict each other They won’t even vote, or well, if they do they will nullify their husbands’ votes... or, well... um... they will OUTVOTE MEN, but mostly they don’t care to vote and will vote the same as their husbands...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 07:42 PM
35

I think it just literally means majority women rule.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 07:41 PM
8

This kind of stuff makes me want to put a sickness clause in any future pre-nups I might draft.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 01:45 PM
8

Yes, regrettably we live in different areas now but I am sure he would have been great to date because he was courteous and attentive. Either way, I have some fond memories from that time and traits to look for in future romantic prospects or even high quality friends. I’m glad you got a laugh, I do think it’s funny too. IKEA furniture was just such a ridiculous ploy. What was his plan, sexily dropping an Alan wrench in my direction? I have known men who build real handmade furniture from scratc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 04:11 AM
34

Sorry you lost a friend and had to see THIS image in the same day 🤢🤢🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 01:31 AM
1

I don’t think that seeing multiple people until a serious commitment has been made is manipulative at all. Can you explain what is manipulative about not being exclusive until engagement, as long as it has been clearly communicated? I also believe that your standards do not need to be spelled out directly to men, and that doing so is counterproductive because the point of having standards for behavior is so that you can see whose behavior meets those standards. If you tell a man you are looking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 09:52 PM
0

Her mom is right though. Not because she’s a mom. She’s just wise about the world. This isn’t boomer advice, it’s good advice. Have you read the sidebar here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 09:04 PM
1

Oh your mom is wiser than you think. Women are at a real danger of being forever girlfriends, devoting unreciprocated levels of attention and commitments to men who won’t marry them. If you want to get married, cutting your losses after 2 years is a great idea. Have you read the sidebar or any of the books? I think you might realize that these things are not stupid but are reflections of your mom perceiving some ugly truths- if he is with you for years and has not proposed, he will not. The 0.1%…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 09:02 PM
50

Oddly enough I had a male friend where we actually did just watch Netflix and chill. We worked at the same large company in different departments and had become company gym buddies and had both been to each other’s homes in group settings before hanging out alone. I was always sort of expecting for him to make a sleazy move... but nope. He remembered which teas and chocolates I liked and had them around. I never did figure out whether he was interested in me, or just actually nice. Before I star…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 06:30 PM
15

It is. I’m in my early twenties and this test has been floating around the internet for at least a decade. I thought I was into kink but turns out I was just into gaining approval from men, and the more experience I had with women the more I realized I would never treat the women I sleep with the way men treated me. Don’t know how I would have woken up otherwise, fortunately I did not get into any unhealthy dom/sub relationships but it was so encouraged to talk about kinky interests in some frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 01:26 PM
1

I would say it’s not a red flag if he has other things that guests in general need both in the bathroom and in the house. I am very fond of hosting and making my guests feel like my place is their second home, so I like to keep spare toilet paper visible in all bathrooms in those little cylindrical toilet paper holders, as well as making sure there is a fresh hand towel and full soap bottle near the sink, and a toilet brush and plunger and trash cans with lids and liners in each bathroom as well…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 09:28 PM
6

Tell him “huh, that’s strange- usually when guys don’t enjoy texting they love calling me” If he doesn’t start calling you quickly as a response to that then he just doesn’t like you very much Also I’m very much in the nerd world but discord + reddit + no social media + lots of d and d.... this sounds like a gamer guy who are usually not the type of men I find worthwhile. Does he play video games, and if so, does he spend an unreasonable amount of time doing so? That’s usually a good reason to v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 08:14 PM
24

This is why I am so blessed to be in my family. I have seen men who love. My grandfather never remarried even though he outlived my grandmother by 4 decades. He talked about her all the time, she was the love of his life. He had many HVM characteristics, like taking her on a cross country road trip when she was near the end, and driving her everywhere to countless medical appointments(she never learned, and later was too sick to drive even if she had).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 03:25 AM
3

Before and after is the ideal combo, ask to see his recent test results before, use condoms for a long long while even if you are on birth control, but mostly don’t have sex with someone until you’ve talked about sexual health. STDs are a way bigger deal for us than for men so vigilance is necessary. Basically I’m saying 2 things: don’t have sex with someone until you trust them to be honest about sexual health and even if you trust them, take every precaution regardless because that is a much s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 06:49 PM
4

I wish, but if she had that level of awareness she would likely not be asking that sub for advice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 06:33 PM
6

It’s ok, it’s a chance to learn and grow! But it will be necessary to grow. Tbh, I am also concerned that you had sex with someone whose sexual health you felt so unsure of that you needed to get tested afterwards. What does that say about how much you value your own health and your own body? Getting tested regularly is great for a sexually active adult, but if there was any shadow of a doubt you should have asked him for recent results, not slept with the guy! I think this shows that maybe you’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 06:29 PM
0

The only benefit it has to society is that it’s great vetting material. He watches GoT? He’s gotta go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 05:03 PM
13

No I agree with him. I would find it tactless if someone I was dating said they were getting tested after our first sexual encounter. If you don’t know him well enough to talk to him about sexual health before hand, you don’t know him well enough to be having sex, period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 04:55 PM
7

Oh man I made the mistake of reading further in that that thread where they defined t*rfs as “people who had never read feminist theory” Lollll Funny how two x is not about having two x at all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 04:51 PM
64

Love yourself more. No seriously. I always wondered how to do this, but now it’s easier for me. It’s extremely cheesy but I sometimes encourage myself the way a mother or sister would- I tell myself things like “I’m proud of you” and “you aren’t perfect, but you are working hard and doing your best” and “you are so worthy of respect and love” until I believe them. Once you love yourself, you need others less. You work on deepening friendships and family relationships where you are treated with t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 03:39 AM
5

Have you read The Rules? If so you need to. 4 dates in the first week of dating is way too many. You are telling him he is the only exciting thing in your life. Nah, sis. You have goals. You have a big test to study for- likely a grad school or professional exam. You have hobbies or other dates or schoolwork to fill that time. Don’t be telling some guy all about your whole life and relationship history in the first month. That’s for just starting to scratch the surface with him, evaluating his e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 03:29 AM
32

It’s just a fetish between two consenting adults, nothing harmful here........
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 02:49 AM
77

Yeah I have for years told myself that I need to use OLD to find other women because gaydar is hard but then when I think about any of the women I have actually been on at least 2 dates with, about 80% of them I met in real life, and about half of those were not even through LGB orgs. Even the ones I met in LGB orgs it was usually one or two encounters, someone asks someone else out, and BAM! two ladies on a date. Didn’t require long term participation (I struggle sometimes to feel like I want t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 09:37 PM
270

lol yeah sounds about right. I am bi so I date bi men sometimes and they are definitely better as a group than straight men about respecting boundaries... probably bc of the endless supply of Grindr guys, so they are less desperate for female attention which can be a pro and a con. Meanwhile as a bi woman I am the unicorn for these gross open relationships looking for threesomes. That’s why I gave up on online dating this year and I feel fantastic about it. Why is it always a relatively pretty g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 09:02 PM
12

This is super fucked up. Wish I could hug your early 20s self. Thankful that I’m here in my early 20s, and my exes’ lousiest behavior even pre-FDS is thankfully small potatoes like “prioritizing his weekend plans and time over mine” not “sexual arousal response to distress of my partner” because damn. This is horrid but thank you for sharing so this behavior will not be normalized for young women like me who hang out here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 08:56 PM
24

What’s abundant is your love for yourself. I’m picky too. But here’s the deal. I want a partner who adds to my life, and I really like myself. If I’m dating someone and he doesn’t learn my dietary restrictions and favorite foods, bring me flowers from the market, schedule massage or hair appointments to make me feel pampered, or cook a nice meal for me... then he doesn’t even treat me as well as I treat myself. Because I do all of those things for me. Create abundance in your own life of your lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 05:35 AM
2

If you haven’t watched Love is Blind and you’re cooped up, I think there are some awesome lessons on getting over LVM with the Barrett/ Mark/ Jessica triangle (and a lot of HVM behavior from Cameron!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 08:45 PM
4

People who are used to McDonald’s can’t appreciate haute cuisine 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 08:28 PM
26

Recommend Dworkin’s “Woman Hating” to him lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 11:04 PM
18

Lol this is why I sometimes think I won’t even try to date until I’m 30. At least that lets me know for SURE that if you haven’t learned how to cook and do chores by then you won’t be going to learn at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 02:23 PM
6

Then why spend your time on it at all? It’s more than a just time waster when 1) seeing all these LVM might convince you to lower your standards by setting the bar so low and 2) for dating apps with a premium subscription, women are the product.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 04:49 PM
73

Plus Jennifer Lawrence plays up the Cool Girl tropes. Jokes about eating junk food, plays dumb on who designed her red carpet dresses, a lot of schtick about how she’s just a regular girl. Tbh, it’s a clever publicity move.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 03:37 PM
37

Tell your friend to stop swiping on Tinder during a pandemic, love herself, and read a book or do a face mask or do literally anything else. Do dumpster divers occasionally find a brand new product? Sure! But does that make it worthwhile digging through all the trash.... absolutely not. Spend that time building your value so you can shop the aisles is way better for your mental health and well-being. Maybe my flair should be anti-tinder crusader. It’s just that I think that we as women can do so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 03:18 PM
28

Time to leave Tinder instead of posting these screenshots. It’s a clown move to stay on that dumpster fire of a dating app. Especially now, during a pandemic. Sister, you deserve WAY better than these men and you know it. So don’t even waste your time. I use language learning apps to fill the same passive time swiping used to fill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 03:14 PM
4

Agree, screenshot + imgur is better too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 06:19 AM
49

For the love of God, how many interactions like this are FDS women going to take before we finally have a mass exodus from Tinder? His first message didn’t even deserve a response. I’m sorry but I am tired of seeing these screenshots. Tinder is made for men. Time to step away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 08:25 PM
18

Don’t feed the trolls with your attention. Like they don’t know that this is hurtful? Don’t give men like this the time of day. Your insults satisfy them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 08:22 PM
2

Even before I started seriously applying FDS principles, I have had college guys pick up odd jobs just so they could pay for dinner dates. I’m so sick of these “what if” scenarios. I’m sure there are some good men who aren’t making enough money to pay for dinner now (maybe a broke PhD student?). But I’m not scraping the bottom of the barrel to find them. This is like telling a bank hiring firm that “some felons make great bank tellers. What if you missed the one because of your hiring policies?”…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 04:44 AM
24

Here’s what’s normal to me, and I’ve had this in real life from young twenty somethings I have dated: -Wants to see you at least once a week, but not daily. Probably 1-3 times depending on your relative schedules and locations. -Calls or less preferably, texts, to make plans early in the week. I know everyone younger texts but I had one guy who called and it was really wonderful. I like the stance from The Rules. If he wants to see you on the weekend, he makes plans with you by no later than Wed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 03:57 AM
19

I’ve said it before here, I’ll say it again. Get off tinder. OLD in general is not a good pool of men. But tinder is the worst. Where would you go if you were a man looking to put the lowest amount of effort into dating? Where would you look for quick access to casual sex? I know that 1/1000 men on tinder is decent. I actually dated a tinder guy, though to be fair we had mutual friends so it was a little more vetted. And... we still broke up in the end. Why would a queen waste her life listening…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:47 PM
45

I agree and I also think FDS users should stop online dating. My worst dates have been OLD, my best dates leading to relationships have been genuine connections in real life. It’s a good filter, because asking someone out in real life takes courage. OLD attracts the worst pool of users. Edit: if you disagree with me, perhaps you’ll be interested in what a Man In My DMs has to say about this comment. He told me that he’s looking out for my well being, and also that he masturbates to “insta thots”…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:59 AM
33

This is a tad eugenics flavored. I think LVM is a mindset and a result of nurture. I like to believe any child can turn out well. I know generational trauma has a genetic component, but I think nurture matters a whole lot more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:15 AM
24

It is the intro music on Pornhub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 02:54 PM
12

If you’re looking for a more woman friendly alternative to porn I find that erotic audio is a lot better on sites like Literotica. It doesn’t contribute to human trafficking and many of them appeal more to a more emotional view of sex. Still, be careful what you are consuming- degrading porn or other adult content affects YOUR self esteem as a woman!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 05:20 PM
26

You know what to do. Cut your losses. There are 3.5 billion men out there. It’s a pandemic and you shouldn’t be dating right now anyway. Focus on yourself and your confidence for now. And read or reread the books from the list. Most can be found online as PDFs if you can’t make it to a library.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 05:18 PM
7

Pretty much the same way I come to terms with my middle school clothing choices (had a pink glittery studded belt, and also sported homemade earrings from feathers I scavenged outside) or my 17 year old teen angst to my parents. I was growing. I’ve matured now. I can look back at my silly mistakes and laugh. I see a teenage girl and a young woman who was a little shaky, and I have empathy for her but I giggle at her in the same way I giggle at a newborn calf finding its footing. What’s life with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 04:09 AM
11

This brings up the question of what the best professions for HVMs are... any ideas? Perhaps I’ll start a thread.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 12:17 AM
4

I’m late to the thread but.... why not? Or at least policing valuable vs. useless hobbies. Valuable hobbies enrich the person who has that hobby and the world around them. They make someone more mentally stable, physically fit, and morally sound to paraphrase a Boy Scout slogan. Useless hobbies are a time sink at best or in their uglier states, make the world a worse place. Think of lazy gamer guys piggybacking off of their parents’ generosity. How someone spends their free time (hobbies!) is a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 03:55 AM
2

I’ve been trying to go to cultural events once to twice a month, which is hard as a student but the discount tickets are amazing! I saw an opera and a ballet and a piano recital recently, with plans to see another opera soon. It really is the best time, with a good friend or a group of your fave ladies or by yourself. Plus it gives you great conversation topics for those awkward “do anything fun this weekend?” work convos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 07:16 PM
50

I buy myself fresh flowers weekly. I draw myself bubble baths with candles and a square of dark chocolate and a mug of herbal tea or a glass of wine. I use tennis balls to massage out my feet and neck and legs. I cook myself gourmet and nutritious food. Sometimes I also go out for cheesecake or creme brûlée and listen to an audiobook. And I have a nice vibrator I enjoy as well. I’m deeply in love with the life I’m creating for myself. I have romance and excitement and sheer pleasure built into m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 05:58 AM
56

I go to a nerdy school and the amount of 20 something men that collect stuff like Funko Pops is insane (for the uninitiated, stylized plastic dolls of comic and movie characters). Imagine walking into a 21 year old woman’s room and seeing a bookshelf full of princess barbies. It’s such a huge turn off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 04:30 PM
11

I’m thinking that if I want to avoid putting my future kids through divorce trauma, one way to do so is by being extremely judicious in choosing a future spouse which includes being wary of parental divorces during childhood. Same reason why I’d prefer a partner with financially and emotionally stable parents- it’s great for my kids to have grandparents like that. Idc if that’s seen as conservative or classist. I unapologetically want the best for myself and my future family. Who wouldn’t?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 04:17 PM
25

My roommate thinks I’m horribly judgemental for having a STRONG preference for dating only people who come from families with married parents. If my own romantic relationships aren’t a place to exercise judgment, where is? You learn so much by seeing what he grew up around. My most respectful relationships were with men whose parents respected one another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 11:47 AM
1

Yikes... sorry to hear that. I’ve only dated 1 Latino guy, he and this friend are both Puerto Rican and both kept very clean homes and could cook well. Maybe it’s a PR thing or maybe I have a biased sample. My friend is not quite a HVM. But he’s great in the cleaning area.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:35 PM
12

Maybe that works for you, but I think with google and YouTube, people don’t have an excuse for not knowing how to clean a bathroom or load a dishwasher after years of adult life. Sure, hiring someone to clean is nice, but what about those inevitable times when you make a mess and it’s 6 days until the cleaner comes? In my experience, 90% of the men who don’t do their chores as adults are LVM who will take advantage of my clean and hospitable nature. I don’t care to weed through those to find the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 12:14 PM
17

Ditch tinder, download duolingo. In the time pickme’s are spending swiping on losers, you’ll be learning how to say “no thank you” in 4 languages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 05:16 AM
9

It’s annoying, because I really like to play board games, the sorta nerdy ones you play with real humans in real life- think Settlers of Catan. And it’s a great cheap non-alcohol-involving way to socialize with adult friends... but there is HUGE overlap with gamer guy circles and I just... hate that toxicity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 04:52 AM
18

What a huge false equivalency. If I said I am against inhumane treatment in immigration camps, that would not encourage immigration guards to feel justified in their violent behavior. Obviously not! Your argument here is essentially that my distaste for violence against women encourages violent men to be more violent. Even if that were true, which it is not, that is not a problem with me or any of the other feminists who speak up against prostitution. It is an issue with male violence. Please po…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 04:15 PM
47

Sex work is violent. Money does not make someone able to consent to something she wouldn’t otherwise. Want to support women? Support social safety nets for women that allow some leeway to us to perform our vast unpaid reproductive and caregiving labor without becoming destitute. I support all of my sisters around the world, including those who chose sex work (and that choice itself is often made under coercive circumstances). It’s BECAUSE I support all women that I do not support an industry tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 03:45 PM
15

What I really hate about pomo ideology is that ideas are constantly equated with people who hold those ideas. No ideology is exempt from criticism. I grew up super evangelical. Evangelical theology is incredibly sexist and damaging and guides children to be motivated by guilt. My parents are evangelicals, who I love deeply and whose motivation for being part of the church is something I can empathize with, even though we do not share a worldview. I don’t hate people even if I hate their beliefs.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:41 AM
22

If you want cheap and comfortable sexy underwear that actually has reasonable coverage and doesn’t feel like the underwear equivalent of having popcorn stuck in your teeth, I’ve been blown away by the Auden line at Target. Their mesh is really soft and the lasercut styles are good for preventing VPL. I had some things from Victoria’s Secret from ex boyfriends and I have been very happy with the replacements.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:45 PM
2

I don’t think either of those men were unicorns. Both had their issues for sure, and I dated both of them before finding both my backbone and also this sub. I’m not even the most feminine person- I’m bisexual and very outspoken and I work in a male dominated technical field. But I always dress up for dates and I’m not afraid to show my love for the fine things life has to offer. I think that’s part of it. Another college guy, also raised in the South but by Eastern European parents, brought me a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:40 AM
2

Idk, I’m in my early twenties and the last 2 men I dated gave me flowers. One was from the Southeastern US and the other was Puerto Rican.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 04:58 AM
2

This comment made me realize that a lot of the behavior I have settled for is what I have seen my mom take. My dad is a decent guy when it comes to respecting privacy, belongings, and emotions, but he uses his chronic illness to make excuses for why he can neither provide financially anymore nor help around the house. My mom always talks about how their relationship is based on trust and how because he’s done so much for her in the past, it’s ok that he can’t help now. He has a few hobbies and h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 08:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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