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View 1 post and 217 comments by bd31 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
31

Debatebd31/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 10:24 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Too many couple up with others mostly as a means to fulfill an agenda, regardless of gender. That's the sad part. More need to value peaceful solitude over a crappy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 11:39 PM
6

Nah, it's entertainment, like pro wrestling.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 04:57 PM
9

This entire sub is a sexist sandbox which I hope most here don't take too seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 01:14 PM
2

Why did you stay so long?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 08:19 PM
3

Many people, regardless of gender, are questioning the value and the required compromises of various types of relationships. Hearing those perspectives may have value to others . Those who are tired of the complaining are free to ignore them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 02:33 PM
4

Effort often signals a conflict between incompatible desires. Good relationships are low effort, that is, no one is denaturing themselves to accommodate another, suggesting high compatibility. High effort suggests low compatibility. If more people recognize this earlier in their engagement, there would be less suffering.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 03:34 PM
0

Look at how women openly say they’d rather be single than settle, while men constantly settle just to not be single. Brilliantly stated. You've settled most of the debates in this sub with one sentence.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 02:30 PM
1

I don't see this as a social movement, that is defined by organization. MGTOW/4b are fringe cultural trends, sexist cynical funhouse mirrors to wider disillusionment with modern romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 10:02 PM
6

The idea of appealing to the opposite gender or anyone to join a movement may not be as prominent as you suggest
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:42 PM
5

Just because someone has opted out of romantic entanglements, doesn't mean they've joined some "movement". People can also articulate why they personally opted out, without looking to recruit others to follow suit.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 01:30 PM
3

Difference is for men, a lot of them don't rate staying single as a good option. I wish more men who often lament the state of modern dating would recognize this distinction.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 03:59 PM
–

No one needs to join a "movement" to give up on romantic relationships, and articulate their reasons online. The gendered MGTOW/4B has sexist undertones, but many have become jaded and are attempting to cope with the difficulty of finding a compatible romantic partner. I wouldn't dismiss this trend too readily.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:19 PM
1

I think it's a reasonable inference that having to chase suggests high potential for incompatibility, and best to look for mutual attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 08:29 AM
6

OP: Even the word "chasing" implies the other person is running away. Why waste your energy chasing another human being? I sense the point is that compatible people gravitate towards one another, instead of one chasing another.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 03:13 PM
1

A rare nuanced post in this sub. Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 08:01 PM
5

At 8 billion, I don't think the world is at any immediate risk of running out of people. The biggest issue I often see in relationships is that too many people see a partner as a means to an end (having children, steady access to sex) instead of seeking authentic compatibility grounded in shared values and vision.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 10:22 PM
–

The issue with gendered advocacy and activism is that it can often obscure the suffering of "the other side". Most of us are just human beings doing the best we can considering the circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 04:53 PM
–

I feel more people are waking up that their romantic/sexual/domestic ideals are often just fantasies. Disillusionment is one step closer to acceptance.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 04:28 PM
–

Elites love "hustle culture" and the Puritan Work Ethic for the masses, as it increases profit for them while waving slightly bigger crumbs to those who prostrate themselves to their fraudulent philosophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 04:20 PM
–

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" - Jiddu Krishnamurti
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 04:08 PM
–

your assholery needs to be directed towards her ideological enemies. It's better to stand up for one's own beliefs than merely to impress a potential partner. That's a doormat in "asshole" costume, or a ruse to get into their good graces.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 04:44 PM
–

How about a FAIR person than a "NICE" person. It's hard to respect a person that's either a doormat or a tyrant.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 04:36 PM
2

It is best for each to improve for their own sake, rather than to attract a mate. Validation-seeking behaviour is a fool's errand, and likely temporary. Individuals are best served by being themselves, and recognizing compatibility when/if it comes, or remain single.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 03:31 PM
1

It is implied by the commenter above from their perspective, and I agree that feeling one needs to earn sex through work is repulsive. Clear expectations and agreements need to be made. What makes a "good spouse", needs to be negotiated, whether fulfilling agreed upon sexual, household and/or parental needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 12:03 AM
6

The idea of having to earn sex is repulsive. The premise that unfairness is a turn-off is reasonable. What is fair is negotiated, not implied and not requiring telepathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 08:32 PM
1

I agree, and will add that much of coming across the right person is good fortune, timing and self-awareness (to assess compatibility), not extraordinary effort. I'd hate to be in relationship that requires "hard work", or subject another to such thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 08:17 PM
2

No two people in a healthy loving relationship need to make extraordinary effort to maintain it. If one or both are expending white-knuckling energy, they are likely not being authentically themselves, are incompatible and fear being alone. No companionship is better than bad companionship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:54 PM
1

Often the hardest lesson to learn, is that you have nothing to prove.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 01:45 PM
1

The point for growing as a person is for it's own sake, not to attract another. Changes that come to appease others are disingenuous and likely very temporary.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 01:43 PM
3

Nothing needs to be wrong with you and you may still not happen to come across a compatible mate. Many fail to recognize (including couples) how big a factor chance and timing play into having a long term compatible fulfilling relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 01:40 PM
3

One is better off alone than taking extraordinary measures to accommodate another's preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 01:28 PM
2

No one wins here. Most are here to rationalize their sexism or troll others' sexism. Best to spectate and participate here at PPD like it's professional wrestling, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:44 PM
37

The energy squandered debating who suffers more, could be used to help one another suffer less.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 04:37 PM
1

I believe deeper personal introspection is WAY more valuable than relying on statistics to come to a long term profound decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 02:31 PM
2

Many people are happier single. No one needs to conform to a wider statistic to point to where they individually find contentment.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 04:51 PM
2

Or simply people need to ignore the idea they need to be coupled.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 04:44 PM
3

r/singleandhappy
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 04:42 PM
2

I think most people have witnessed or heard accounts of lousy relationships and/or sex that many may deem it not worth the bother. Singledom is becoming increasingly attractive to many more. The risk/reward calculus is being assessed with less taint of romantic/sexual notions of ecstatic perpetual fulfillment.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 05:35 PM
2

Please define "coping" as you understand it. I see it as a temporary compensation to fulfill a sense of lack. Acceptance comes from a fuller understanding that all desires need not be fulfilled.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 04:59 PM
5

Some men decide that the juice is not worth the squeeze. They self-satisfy sexually and pursue other interests rather than spending energy wooing a woman with questionable results. Some women might be doing the same thing, preferring to be alone than to be in an unfulfilling relationship. Is that a cope? Or is it just acceptance finally reached to pivot away from a romantic/sexual fantasy of transcendent compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 04:40 PM
3

Yes, my husband has standards and yes, I meet his standards Both standards are considered suggests egalitarian dynamic. This subreddit is a hypersexist sandbox, but I do see some of these attitudes resonate in the wider society but understated. I don't find it fruitful to fight sexism with sexism. I used to think there is a lid for every pot, but as time goes on, I feel there are more and more people that are better off single, instead of wreaking havok on those seeking authetic and compatible c…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 04:48 PM
2

The generality that men desire sex more than women is a fair one with biological and statistical basis. But lacks nuance, as to what standards are to be met, and suggests that men need to have no standards, when the fact that men also break up and leave women suggests they didn't meet theirs. Also in an egalitarian relationship, both people meet each other's compatibility standards, not one over the other. Would advice a single male friend or family member to solely meet her standards, and ignor…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 04:32 PM
2

Men break up with women all the time. Clearly they didn't meet some of these men standards. How would you explain that?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 04:05 PM
3

The OPost suggests that the onus to meet standards falls on only on the male side and lacks nuance on what particular standards it needs to meet. Hardly egalitarian.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 03:57 PM
2

Do you feel any inclinations to meet his? Does your husband have any standards?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 03:51 PM
1

Do you feel that your husband wants you more than you want him? Edit: and if so, do you leverage that understanding to have him conform to your standards?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 02:32 PM
1

Who hands out these titles you so often refer to?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 09:41 PM
1

And those who want to make their relationship another job should find each other and grind it out with max effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 09:14 PM
1

Well, those who are happy to grind out a relationship, more power to them. For me, from my experience and observations of those around me, the best relationships make both people's lives easier than harder, otherwise best to remain single.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 07:10 PM
0

Communication is not telepathy. Edit: We communicate because we lack telepathy. I'm suggesting relationships work best when grounded in compatibility and empathy, not effort. SOME effort may be needed to see another's POV, but if two people are working harder to stay together that they would be apart, it suggests incompatibility, lack of authenticity, high likelihood for codependance, and common fear of being alone. Earning something often implies deserving something. That's entitlement.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 06:12 PM
1

I doubt anyone has the required omniscient telepathy to know what the rest of the planet thinks. I would avoid anyone who views relationships with transactional dynamics which earning implies. Finding and keeping in tune with empathic compatible partners it's where its at for me, instead of attempting to collect brownie points to "get some".
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 04:11 PM
6

The idea of earning or having someone earn sex is a turnoff for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 03:28 PM
1

Anger is a natural response to something someone deems unfair, and can be useful for one to investigate and navigate around the particular issue. To STAY angry is unhelpful, remove agency and keep one in victim mentality. I've seen the "don't like that? Don't do that" rhetorical tactic used to quash discussion on the objectors reasons for disliking a situation. Gender dynamics are abysmal for many, since more appear to see others in the dating/relationship context as a means to an end, instead o…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/22 11:03 PM
0

I prefer the term "closest friend" between adults. "Best friend" implies a hierarchy of friends, while closest suggests shared affinity. It may be a semantic argument, but I find the term "best friend" a bit juvenile.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 05:00 PM
1

OPs point appears to suggest most people aren't suited for relationships out of moral failing and lack of maturity. That may be the case, but often it can occur due to incompatibility and lack of self-awareness. There is such thing as irreconcilable differences. And it is a pyrrhic victory to get a compromise that makes two people miserable long term. Edit: I guess my point is that if one or both are working hard to get along, they may be in the wrong relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 04:33 PM
3

Compatible people will find nurturing those attributes easier than incompatible ones. I feel this pervasive idea that it takes "hard work" to have a healthy relationship is counterproductive in my opinion, as it may keep two people unsuited for one another together in misery while they grind to understand one another. A good relationship should make both persons lives' easier on the whole, not harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 03:53 PM
3

I'm going to push back a bit that it takes a lot of work. If it takes too much effort from one or both partners, it may point to incompatibility and likely one or both partners are denaturing themselves to accommodate "The Relationship". Some people may not be wired for romantic relationships, and better off single. It may not be a character flaw, just a lack of self-awareness, as the wider society does tend to idealize long term romantic relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 02:24 PM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/22 10:35 PM
1

I associate "adoration" with worship, so I would never describe love as such. This is how I describe it: Love is shared, not given or taken, thus non-transactable. Affection, affinity, kindness, trust and mutual respect with earnest willingness to communicate to understand one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/22 10:28 PM
1

Adoring is putting someone on a pedestal. It doesn't occur between equals.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/22 10:01 PM
1

Infatuation and adoration? That description of "love" sounds closer to codependancy to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/22 09:34 PM
1

It's reasonable to infer that more effort is required if you see low effort as a problem. What degree of effort do you feel would be needed and where do you feel it would be best placed?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 07:57 PM
1

They are relevant. The lack of nuance and clarity invite reactionary responses. I wouldn't want someone to work hard to try to get along with me. Would you?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 07:51 PM
1

The OP and your comment qualify the effort. How much effort? What's too low or too high? This needs clarity, and often the grievance "low effort" fails to quantify the optimal level of effort. This lack of nuance and clarity and variance of expectations is an unfortunate cause for many to struggle finding authentic long-term connection. Edit: a word
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 07:45 PM
1

I said HIGH effort. Those who put high effort are likely not being themselves, compromising too greatly, and unlikely to be sustained long-term. Good relationships make both people's lives easier, not harder on the whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 07:40 PM
3

Having to put high effort in or for a relationship often points to incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 07:34 PM
5

Your comment seems to infer that he wasn't at your intellectual level simply because he felt you talked too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 06:17 PM
10

I personally would rather have a conversation than being an audience to a monologue.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 05:19 PM
1

The ideal purpose of debate is to express, consider and contrast various perspectives, principles and values, in my opinion. The hope is those participating will add nuance to their position, and willing to shift them after exposure to overlooked or underconsidered perspectives.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 05:51 PM
1

I do feel that much, maybe most of this sub is a sexist sandbox, but beneath it all I also get the sense of much suffering and a clumsy appeal for empathy. The anonymity provided online allows a greater freedom of expression that one would hear in the real world, and considering the rate of divorce, domestic violence, infidelity, mistrust, etc, the disconnect in real in too many cases. No one is owed anything, but a little understanding might bridge the gap and help singles see each others chall…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 05:26 PM
6

Whose standards in what context? I find it sexist to place higher weight on the standards of one particular gender. Consensus trumps compromise, as compromise can invite transactional and codependant dynamics.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 03:36 PM
3

I think much of what is debated here is how hard it is to get into a relationship for some more than others, instead of examining the quality of such relationship once in it. The harsh reality is that MANY don't have the emotional, psychological and ethical wherewithal to sustain a fulfilling long term relationship. Not everyone is wired to be coupled. I used to have this idea that "there's a lid for every pot", but now I am recognising that there are many lids and pots that are better off in th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 06:11 PM
2

It is not unusual for people with non-mainstream view to find each other and build community.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 10:32 AM
1

r/singleandhappy
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 10:25 AM
3

I come here to see the creative ways people rationalize their sexism.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 10:40 PM
1

It's been scientifically shown that there's a relationship between testosterone and libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 09:05 PM
11

The hardest lesson to learn is that you have nothing to prove.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 06:57 PM
2

Cool. Don't watch it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 02:35 PM
1

Doug Stanhope on Marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 02:26 PM
1

There's no need to get married to have a long term relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 09:06 AM
2

Excellent comment, I'm sure many frustrated men could benefit from this well articulated perspective. Too many of these men project their wants onto women, and resent how easily they perceive women can get it. What many women don't understand, is the experienced libidinal power of 20x testosterone on average, it is just inference through observed behaviour as your comment well described. The fallacy many women have, is that most men want ONLY or MOSTLY sex, when they also want fulfilling and lov…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 07:27 AM
-3

Romantic relationships are not a requirement for survival like food and water. One can be content without one. I doubt many enter a relationship they deem bad , they just find themselves in one after some time and experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/22 05:01 PM
3

That thirst makes it easy to leverage and manipulate by the unscrupulous.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 10:16 AM
2

Resenting those they desire is an attitude that does not bode well for those looking for harmonious companionship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 01:59 PM
1

Personal growth needs to be the objective of self-improvement, not to impress a potential mate. Any changes made through extraordinary effort are likely to be faced with resentment if unsuccessful, or temporary once a mate is potentially found.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 10:29 AM
3

This is a place where many people try to use sophisticated arguments to rationalise their sexism. The sad reality is that many people don't like to acknowledge that they many lack the emotional, psychological and ethical wherewithal to sustain a long term mutually fulfilling relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 10:15 AM
1

Eat less and save money. Walking is free.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 12:00 PM
1

I'll trust my own experience over a pharma company looking to cash in on some people's food addiction. Too many people are overfed and malnourished, and many lapse back to poor eating habits and use food to medicate their stress and manage their emotions. I was a fat kid and used food to numb sadness and amplify happiness, and they spilled over into young adulthood. There comes a point one needs to grow up, and recognise there are no quick fixes, and that it takes balance, diligence, trial and e…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 04:31 AM
6

This is fat acceptance bullshit copium to justify an inability to eat healthy and exercise in the long term due to gluttony and laziness. My partner and I got fat together (75 lbs overweight each) and then fit together, and kept it off for 15 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 05:29 AM
2

Too often a person is used to satisfy another's wants, merely seen as a means to some end, regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 09:16 PM
1

It is not necessary to be legally bound to have commitment to one another (unmarried and coupled for 22 years). Your pragmatic arguments are sound. Edit: Stanhope on Marriage (3min vid)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 02:56 PM
1

I often find those making an effort to impress another are just putting up a facade, that will likely fall apart as it gets exhausting. I also disagree with the related opinion that relationships are "hard work". If your relationship is hard work, it might not be one worth having. Compatible people find it easy and pleasant to be with one another most of the time. There may be challenges and disagreements, but on the whole, it should make BOTH people's lives easier, not harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 12:54 AM
1

I find helping the people I love effortless. If someone found loving me hard work, I'd question it's authenticity.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/21 11:47 PM
1

If you're making an effort, you're not being yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/21 10:58 PM
5

The worst that could happen is he'll say no, and you can move your attention elsewhere. A coffee date is fairly non-committal.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 06:21 PM
9

Or do you prefer to be chased? He might be interested, but unaware of your interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 05:50 PM
6

Why haven't you asked him out?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 05:35 PM
1

Well said. It's possible to acknowledge varying challenges according to gender without dismissing our shared humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 05:34 PM
3

People can relate along shared values, interests and experiences, instead of alienating one another through fixating on disparate challenges.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 05:25 PM
1

Who's evaluating you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 10:11 AM
7

Men have about 20x the testosterone than women, a hormone linked with sex drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/21 03:20 PM
7

Testosterone is a hell of a hormone. On average men produce 20 times as much as women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/20 02:42 PM
1

Testosterone
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/20 05:42 PM
1

While many people are hooking up mostly on the basis of utility rather than affinity, these problems will remain. They tend not to see a fellow human being, but someone who will fit a role in their lives, permanent or temporary. A tool to be used.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/20 07:26 PM
2

Often the hardest lesson to learn, is that one has nothing to prove.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/20 11:41 PM
1

Marriage is a cultural institution, not a biological imperative. Boredom and clinging to security emerges from making one's partner a constant, rather than a variable, so it naturally kills passion. Prioritizing stability over adventure, curiosity and discovery.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/20 07:23 PM
4

Transactional attitudes towards relationships often emerge from a climate of lack. Both are looking on what to get, instead of sharing what they have to give, unselfconsciously. They are fueled by neediness, instead of authentic intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/20 08:23 PM
1

I find preconceived notions as a hindrance to deeper intimacy. Couples can make explicit agreements based on complimentary contributions, rather than relying on sexist presumptions often coloured by upbringing and the wider culture. I submit we need to discriminate further, and see individuals, not solely a representative of half of humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/20 07:21 AM
0

I feel most people want to connect authentically, and not be used, regardless of gender. Those fixated on gender roles/entitlements/responsibilities are more likely to use or be used, as agreements are assumed to be implicit rather than explicit, and often fueled by sexism.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 05:36 PM
1

That's promising subreddit, that I hope grows. The fact that is not gendered is a great thing, as too many of those currently single have gendered expectations of what a "real" man/woman should be and behave.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/19 04:06 PM
3

A complimentary relationship is much preferable than a codependent one. A couple learn from one another and grow together in the former, each feel incomplete without the other in the latter. Jerry Macguire's romantic crescendo, and the idea of one finding "their other half" is juvenile fantasy. Complimentary inclinations and interdependence is much preferable.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/19 02:51 PM
2

"Codependency is a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement." - Wikipedia
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/19 02:43 PM
6

but a lot of them are just putting on an act to appease the crowd. Some actors get paid millions to do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/19 08:12 PM
3

Maybe marriage is the failed experiment.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/19 06:46 PM
2

Illuminating and nuanced take of the relationship climate. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/19 02:29 PM
3

I feel the anger in gendered subreddits often come off sexist, but they aren't totally unjustified. I agree that all-consuming rage and victim mentality isn't helpful, but also ignoring the pain these people are having, authentically connecting with an equal, with the pressure of gender roles and expectations in our wider society. I am optimistic we'll all be better off at the other side of this renegotiation, as more people as individuals discover what they really want, instead of the expectati…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/19 02:27 PM
1

who claim to have persistently tried to improve themselves and still have not seen those efforts rewarded in the market places. Having to change oneself mostly to accommodate someone else's criteria, regardless of gender, is a red flag for lack of confidence. Whatever change occurs in this context is more likely to be temporary.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/19 11:34 AM
2

Excellent post. Both MGTOW and feminism make valid points, but it is difficult for one side to see the others'. Who's oppressed? Perhaps we all are doing it to one another, trying to fit or have others fit anachronistic gender roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/19 02:43 PM
1

I feel what is needed is anti-sexist humanism, acknowledging cultural and institutionalized bias and injustice, instead of "picking a side" according to our chromosomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/19 02:36 PM
1

Maybe seeking to attract is part of the problem. Why not be oneself, be open to connection, and trust? Trying to conform to some norm suggests a lack of confidence in oneself, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/19 07:39 PM
4

Often the hardest lesson to learn, is that you have nothing to prove. Those jumping hoops to accommodate others' standards and expectations are wasting time and energy, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/19 01:49 PM
4

Let me see. If just for shits and giggles, my unmarried partner and I of 20+ years decide to go to city hall, sign some papers and get married, we'll achieve some transcendental insight, and our dynamic will magically transform? Hmmm.. no.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/19 09:21 AM
1

I'm a man, and have had lousy sex, and sex with too much drama that I could have done without. One can be content while not fulfilling every desire. Some young adults may lack the maturity to understand this and lapse into hedonism, and deem unfulfilled desires as a generalized "unhappiness".
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/19 04:42 PM
1

I think the idea of "perpetual happiness" needs to be questioned, as well as "perpetual unhappiness". Who doesn't feel a sense of lack from time to time? I rather have no sex than lousy sex, or sex that comes with too much drama. Some may feel the cost to one's piece of mind for temporary, intermittent pleasure can be too high. While I'm not celibate, I respect those who consciously choose it, if they feel the cost is not worth the "reward".
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/19 03:41 PM
2

Thinking about divorce when considering marriage suggests less commitment and trust, not more.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/19 04:23 PM
3

I've been unmarried, committed and coupled for over 20 years. We don't need validation from the wider society or our families to our commitment. It is just a piece of paper. We give zero fucks how others perceive us, the strength of our union lies in our love, understanding and agreements. Edit: Doug Stanhope on Marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/19 04:05 PM
3

my God why would a guy do that? The thirst is real with those guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/19 08:10 PM
1

"While the exact cause of PPD is unclear, the cause is believed to be a combination of physical and emotional factors.[1" Forgetting PPD for a second, I've spoken to enough mothers telling me they greatly underestimated what a great undertaking motherhood was. My point is that there often isn't a rational methodical weighing of pros and cons, and valiantly choosing the hard path. My own mother admitted after sharing my decision to become childfree, that if she had to do it again, she would made …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/19 03:47 PM
1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postpartum_depression
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/19 03:01 PM
3

There are a substantial amount of single mothers who don't consider the difficulties involved with raising a child and some of those are raised by grandparents. Some believe that instinct would kick in, and not as difficult as you suggest. Much of PPD is an existential crisis, imo, that motherhood was not what the mother presumed it would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/19 02:49 PM
2

There is no such "thing" as unconditional love, as love cannot be a "thing", since things have boundaries. Love is communion, the deep understanding of the illusion of separation. We get intermittent glances when the veil of ego parts.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/19 01:59 PM
2

If one change oneself to accommodate some "SMV", there's too much care about what others think, and only invites an inauthentic relationship in the long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/19 03:05 PM
16

It seems like the bar for "entitlement" has been lowered to the point of absurdity, like being disappointed at an unexpected outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 02:34 PM
2

A strategy of refusing to pay for anything, no engagement ring, etc. under any circumstance, like it or not, is going to select out many quality women. How many men get engagement rings? Quality partners are equal partners, not one that get special privileges.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/19 10:38 PM
2

Those who are happily single, don't feel they are missing out, whether male or female. Edit: I'll add that, individuals value different things, to cluster half of humanity into a very narrow characteristic is simplistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/19 07:55 PM
1

I wasn't referring to you, to the commenters in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/19 02:21 PM
1

I doubt those who expect their partner to treat them better than they are willing to reciprocate would be a "quality partner".
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/19 02:17 PM
2

"Womanless" implies that those men can't be fulfilled without a woman, similarly to "childless" vs "childfree". That is presumptive.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/19 02:10 PM
1

If more people treated one another as they wanted to be treated, we'd all be better off. I hoped this subreddit would encourage debate with open minds and to consider other perspectives, but it appears most are seeking mostly to validate their own sexism. Unfortunate. If we fixate more on what makes us different, instead of our shared humanity, I'm afraid the gulf will only widen, and we'll find more people having trouble finding authentic connection, having to navigate these cultural biases.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/19 02:02 PM
2

I think it's fine to consider the cost involved to satisfying a desire. I don't feel one needs to be 80 to do so. I'm skeptical in some "mass movement" but do feel individuals can recalibrate their impulses and expectations after getting burned one too many times.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/19 01:54 PM
2

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/19 02:10 PM
6

A shitty relationship is worse than solitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/19 02:40 PM
2

I suspect many use this subreddit to validate their sexism.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/19 08:35 PM
1

I'm talking about incompatibility. You seem to focus on appearance. I also value grooming, so best to find someone who values it as well, instead of someone slovenly who needs to put an effort to be presentable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/19 06:23 PM
1

One is not "being themselves" if they have to jump through hoops to accommodate someone else's expectations. I'm not talking about reasonable consideration towards another. Needy, high-maintenance people are a giant red flag for me, likely looking for a doormat to walk all over.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/19 06:12 PM
1

Nice strawman. My point is two people who need extraordinary effort to stay together likely fear solitude more than experiencing authentic connection. High co-dependance potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/19 05:34 PM
1

Life is hard enough as it is. No point in having someone to add to the misery.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/19 05:23 PM
1

Extreme effort suggests that a person isn't being themselves, and compromising their natural inclinations to accommodate another. A sound relationship should make both people's lives easier in the long run, not harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/19 04:05 PM
1

This sounds like the key value is what one can take from others, than what one would give.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/19 03:57 PM
6

A person is greater than the sum of their parts. An attractive, fun, nice, smart person is a good start. How many "boxes" does one need? Intimacy requires vulnerability, and people are more willing to open up and be open to those who aren't scrutinizing them looking for pink or red flags. It is fine to have reasonable standards, and look out for flagrant red flags, but having a long checklist is a pretty large red flag in itself, in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/19 03:51 PM
2

Usage is relevant. In the insecure, there is often a lack of imminence, thus it can imply an entitlement to safety. When one is afraid, one reacts. Fear is often a call to action. Insecurity is often a wish for perpetual security, and in life there no guarantees.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/19 01:15 PM
2

I would still use "afraid". Less so, the danger remains imminent, but not as high. Edit: context is relevant. Your CMV is in PurplePillDebate, not SurvivingTheWilderness. Insecurity, as I used it, is an antonym to courage.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/19 08:48 AM
21

When a bear is chasing you, you don't call it "insecure". You are afraid. Context is relevant here, as the word insecure is rarely used in when referring to imminent danger. It also implies that one needs to always feel secure in a job, or a relationship, etc. No need to bubble-wrap the world so those paranoid feel secure.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/19 08:33 AM
5

Stop strategizing and be authentically yourself. Develop and express the preferences, values and principles that come from within, instead of reacting to what others want from you. Treat others with mutual respect. Care about others, before expecting others to care about you. Listen without an agenda.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/19 06:44 AM
1

No need to moan to share a perspective. To question whether it's a game worth playing and have one's values emerge from within, rather than reacting and accommodating what others value.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 05:32 PM
0

there are loads of things people could do to create value But many won't do it, since they may find it not worth it. The return on investment has become insufficient, considering the expectations. For many, adjusting to solitude is better and easier than accommodating the current SMP.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/19 02:37 PM
9

Cheating occurs when there is a violation of an agreement. If no agreement has been violated, there is no cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/19 01:04 AM
5

There are jobs many are unwilling and/or unable to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/19 03:52 PM
2

I did. did you? It appears you missed the point, you shared a valid opinion, others may be doing the same. People are free to dismiss it or not. "Sweetie..." heh
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/18 04:53 PM
2

Your OP is full of unsolicited advice: "We should.." You are free to express those opinions and advice, others free to heed it or ignore it. Wouldn't that apply to those "fatshaming", and those hearing those opinions? I can't see the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/18 04:41 PM
3

Yet here you are, giving an opinion no one asked for. Does it matter? To whom?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/18 03:14 PM
2

I mean does anyone seriously argue that it’s healthy to be fat? "Health At Any Size" theory
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/18 03:10 PM
1

Asking for facts is an ironic comment on the thread that started with conjecture. Reiterating "not new" and alluding to some vague "fundamentals" does not make your claims facts. Enjoy your night. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/18 02:29 PM
1

Not those specifically. There is variance between cultures, and even within cultures over time. I see no issue, and relevance in noticing shifts in trends.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/18 05:01 AM
1

People disagree on what those fundamentals are, as that depends on what model and experiences you are arriving at such assessment. What's "not new" to you may be new to others. People's reasons for coupling have changed historically, and there is a downward trend towards marriage. What fundamentals are you referring to and what scale of time do you see no sense of change?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/18 09:14 PM
1

Just the phone is one example. I've often seen 3 or more people in a coffee shop, usually younger, texting or browsing instead of talking. And I've had dates and friends jumping to attend to their phone chimes like a Pavlovian dog. On the positive side, technology can facilitate people with niche interests to connect. To imply that nothing's changed is an overstatement.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/18 07:58 PM
3

Interactions have changed noticeably in recent time due to technology.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/18 04:17 PM
2

Solitude is better than poor company in my opinion. Your opinion might differ, and that's your prerogative. I feel it is better to shift according to one's awareness, values and conscience, than contort oneself to form a persona to people please. Change is inevitable, what's critical is noting what's driving it. Authentically alone is better than inauthentic companionship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/18 02:15 PM
1

You mad, bro? I agree that we are social animals, but my point is that one should seek authentic connection, find someone suitable to oneself, instead of morphing into whatever pleases others, or playing some game where the point is to "win". Who decides who needs to change? The social mirror? If there are pointers that resonate with one's conscience towards shifting into a different directions, by all means pivot. But to reactively sway with the shifts of "social acceptability" will often resul…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/18 01:19 PM
1

Interesting straw man. What if you feel you smell like roses, but everyone else smelled like dog shit? Do you seek to smell like dog shit to fit in because of the terror you have of solitude?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/18 12:28 PM
1

If you are changing yourself to accommodate someone else's requirements or standards, you've already lost.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/18 05:52 AM
7

I suspect OP's friend is bored, and has a sex addiction, and veiling it as a preference. She's likely masturbating and assumes she'd be happier doing it with a partner, to escape due to some existential ennui. Just speculating.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 04:15 PM
6

PartnerS for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 04:10 PM
9

Your friend should leave her husband and have each find more suitable partners, than making one person happy at the other's expense.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 03:55 PM
13

Sexual incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/18 03:46 PM
2

Doug Stanhope: "If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it?"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/18 09:31 PM
6

One can be honest AND kind. The difference between saying, "I don't feel chemistry" and "You are an ugly loser, how dare you approach me." Attempting to communicate in tone closer to the former than the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/18 09:18 PM
12

The Real Problems With Psychiatry : A psychotherapist contends that the DSM, psychiatry's "bible" that defines all mental illness, is not scientific but a product of unscrupulous politics and bureaucracy.
/r/PussyPassDenied29/07/18 05:29 AM
3

Thirty percent of women believe they've been sexually harassed if a man they're not attracted to asks them to get a drink. Source please.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/18 09:57 PM
1

Those actions are leading to the deterioration of that relationship, and until both take responsibility for their part and see the error of their ways instead of finger pointing and placing the sole onus on the other to make the changes, that relationship is doomed. I suspect each decided to chase pleasure without considering the consequences and pain they would inflict on one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 01:34 PM
4

Again, sure didn't eat with the intention to get fat. Do you think he got married with the intention to cheat? Do you feel he had the intention to be not attracted to his wife? Edit: That she didn't have the intention is the excuse you use to minimise her responsibility. Saying that both are at fault yet rationalising one side while condemning the other suggest a bias. "yeah... but" compared to "no excuse!". BTW, she cheated too.. her lover was food.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/18 10:22 PM
2

How many calories in a two baby course?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/18 09:59 PM
5

She loved food more than she loved her husband. Was she faithful? Why is one spouse more responsible for managing their impulses than the other? Why is one a victim of circumstance and the other expected to have full agency and not subject to temptation?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/18 09:54 PM
8

Freedom from needing validation is knowing there is nothing to prove.
/r/MGTOW22/05/18 03:18 PM
2

The vice is not the thing, it's the addiction to the thing. Conflating that is simplistic. That said, those who can't moderate are better off abstaining, yet there is no need to project their inability to moderate upon others.
/r/TheRedPill08/02/18 05:23 PM
2

It's way easier to have sex with top 20% women than to get a top 20% man to marry you. The big difference is the duration of the "reward".
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 05:52 PM
0

Possibly to remain vigilant and aware of the seductive power of women, and hormonal inclination to persue.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/18 12:36 PM
1

It is called a proposal for a reason. To be considered. If all would "know" in perpetuity, there would be no divorce or broken engagements. Your statement implies absolute certainty which is an illusion. It's not as black and white as you allude.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/18 01:36 AM
1

Why would you convince yourself if you know? That certainty implies NO DOUBT. Are you suggesting all married or unmarried people should come to some conclusion innately without reservation? People weigh pros and cons, and it seems reasonable to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 10:49 PM
1

My point is that the institution didn't make you primarily happy, it's that you found a suitable person to couple with that did.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 05:20 PM
3

A stranger on the internet could make one look deeper. People influence people, whether online or in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 04:45 PM
-1

Indeed. Choosing implies interest, thus claims of not caring sound hollow.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 04:41 PM
1

You don't need to be married to have long term companionship. I am in a 20 year unmarried committed childfree relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 04:04 PM
2

Those on the fence may be interested in hearing reasons and motive to get married or not. If no one cared, no one would be writing about it, or responding to such critiques.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 03:54 PM
4

I see no problem someone expressing scepticism towards the institution others may not have considered. The wider culture trends towards advocating marriage as "a happy ending". To hear dissenting voices can help people weigh their options.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 03:52 PM
0

Marriage with the person suitable to you works for you. Had you married someone unsuitable, would you be as content?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 03:46 PM
0

I never understood why someone would take the time and attention to read and respond in a discussion forum to claim they don't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 03:43 PM
1

The decision to get married is a personal choice That choice is often influenced by familial, cultural, and institutional factors and those are worth discussing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 03:42 PM
3

My impression was that she wanted to be looked at, but not hit on from her actions. Admired from afar.
/r/MGTOW07/12/17 05:14 PM
2

What mmorgp do you play?
/r/MGTOW23/11/17 10:40 PM
2

Gratitude is a very important value. Many fixate on what they lack, instead of appreciating what they got. Well said.
/r/MGTOW23/08/17 02:33 PM
2

Think of those mysteries. Well said. That is the adventure of living, exploring the Divine Mystery with a deep sense of curiosity, while not fixating on getting all the answers, yet recognising and rejoicing the glimpses Grace grants us.
/r/MGTOW23/08/17 02:31 PM
1

Any meaning to life places living second, a mere means to some end.
/r/MGTOW23/08/17 02:07 PM
2

I made a mistake by being born to them You didn't choose to be born.
/r/MGTOW02/08/17 05:04 PM
2

Morpheus: Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.
/r/MGTOW25/07/17 03:07 PM
10

"Now the moral of this story is cuff your bitch Cuz hey, I'm black, handsome, I sing plus I'm rich and I'm a flirt" - R. Kelly - I'm A Flirt
/r/TheRedPill20/07/17 09:52 PM
3

The cost of raising a child has increased in the last year, according to a report from the Department of Agriculture.For a middle-income family to raise a child born in 2015 through the age of 17, the cost of rearing a child has hit $233,610, according to the report. The price jump is a 3% increase from the previous year,according to the report, with housing taking up a bulk of the expense at 29% of the cost. Food took the second biggest expense at 18%, according to the report. Source
/r/TheRedPill05/06/17 02:08 PM
10

You ain't kidding
/r/MGTOW23/02/17 10:26 PM
2

“Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know.” - Lao Tzu
/r/MGTOW21/11/16 06:20 PM
5

Are you referring to Reddit's Red Pill, or some other site? How are they scamming betas for money?
/r/MGTOW14/10/16 09:12 PM
-2

Hell, a few of them might actually benefit from a good beating now and then. Was this part necessary? There's some interesting arguments made here, but this sentence ruined it for me.
/r/TheRedPill08/09/16 08:54 PM
3

Ode to bipolar disorder.
/r/MGTOW02/05/16 05:22 PM
1

Marriage has nothing to do with love. People can love one another and not need sanction from the church or state. Many people who want to get married want a guarantee. I would suggest that is lack of faith in love. They need documentation. Those don't want to hold hands, they want to be shackled to one another, with the law holding the key (divorce). Weddings are vanity. A craving for approval and affirmation from those who surround them. That said there are practical reasons that people get mar…
/r/MensRights27/08/10 03:26 PM
1

If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it? - Doug Stanhope [Video]
/r/MensRights18/04/10 01:41 PM
1

If you weren't her husband, would you love her any less?
/r/MensRights18/04/10 01:39 PM
2

How about keeping the state and religion out of romantic relationships? Why is that so radical?
/r/MensRights18/04/10 01:38 PM
1

Being unmarried doesn't stop you from doing that, and getting married doesn't guarantee it.
/r/MensRights28/03/10 07:23 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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