bdt124 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
8	I think I have officially lost. Follow the general advice given in these forums: 1) start hitting the gym and eating healthy, you need it to feel good physically 2) find things that bring you joy and do the hobbies 3) meet with your friends and family - here for most of us the issue was a lack of friends left post split but that's ok, time to find new ones most likely through steps 1 & 2 And always remember it takes 2 to tango and if she's not willing to tango than there's nothing you can do about it. But also for the break up…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/24 12:30 PM
2	could use support - really. Frankly speaking I probably went on bumble a bit early, 5 months post separation after having been together for 7 years but luckily no kids... I found 1st woman I had sex with a few times showed me that I'm attractive and have things to offer. (Aka self esteem) 2nd woman showed me that the ones I'm normally attracted to are also attracted to me. (She flipped out when she found out I was separated - aka maybe my red flag indicator isn't as great and i should be more open) 3rd woman the one im cur…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/11/23 10:55 AM
8	What keeps me going Rephrase that: she would get everything + life insurance Find your motivation from somewhere eventually the motivation will shift to you wanting to better yourself + improve your career prospects etc.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/07/23 08:43 AM
6	Does Everyone Hate Their Ex? So I can tell you I felt blindsided and left the moment I was depressed and needed support... this is how I feel and being told that "I'm young and pretty and we can both find new partner with who we can be happy" felt like the push to jump. Obviously I didn't as for the first time in a long time my vindictive and angry self said why the fuck would I give her all my money and make it easier on her by killing myself? I don't think I'm really over what happened as it happened 2 months ago nor do I…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/07/23 04:48 PM
2	Video Games in your 40s? Video games are fine for all ages and a lot of fun. I would suggest try something where you'll meet new people like .- dancing class - cooking class - climbing - Theater - improv .really any type of class where you're around other people and pick up the beginners one and meet new people being depressed might be your answer at the moment ... I was depressed and didn't want to do anything either and that caused me the relationship (or at least that's what she blamed)	/r/Divorce_Men	17/06/23 07:37 AM
4	Dating after divorce Well they do say the best way to get over someone is sleep with someone else. You do what's best for you, just don't rush into anything without working on improving yourself to ensure you do not repeat your past mistakes	/r/Divorce_Men	15/06/23 05:40 AM
7	Finally filed Agree with this! OP ensure you hammer the message in that it's not their fault and that there were issues between you and her. Kids focus on everything being on them always. Therefore therapist(s) will be needed. I would also say make sure that they understand and hammer home the message that they're your priority and that they'll always have you. Be open and tell them that it will be a stressful and sad situation for all of you and therefore its OK to cry and raise any questions or concerns the…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/06/23 09:54 AM
2	I am so mad, co parent is awful Agree with this, give her a taste of her own medicine... plan a shopping Saturday afternoon with them, plan to do things that they want when they're with mum. Don't alienate your kids by letting her win, you're going down a bad path as you let her go and then her mum used the text to manipulate her that you don't care about her interests.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/06/23 03:22 PM
3	Divorce Yeah my wife told me that she wanted a divorce at the start of the month and almost in the same breath she mentioned that I should go on tinder.... 100% trying to make herself feel less guilty for whatever may have transpired or may transpire now that she initiated the divorce	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/23 08:55 PM
1	How to embrace the loneliness OP, there you go ... just think about the sweat revenge when you're jacked up and she realises that the AP is dumping her and that she lost out on you for a fling! It might take her years to do so but keep taking care of yourself. Work on your issues, especially therapy as the wall punch is not a great reaction. But more importantly work on yourself for you and potential future children you may have. Forget about her and focus on you and how you want to be in the future.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/05/23 09:35 AM
1	How do I get through this? I would just add that OP do therapy to help you get over it and give you a place to be vulnerable and help you improve and ensure you don't repeat the same mistake! Don't forget "a leopard can't change its spots" so its important that you recognise the spots before you jump into the next relationship	/r/Divorce_Men	13/05/23 02:33 PM
1	When your ex-wife start dating someone new Thanks man needed to read this. I wanted to try and make it work but she seems adamant. Worse thing is I'm now for some reason constantly aroused when around her, maybe something to contemplate in therapy...	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/23 06:41 AM
8	How many of your all’s marriages were savable? But your wife refused to work with you. Know how you feel, I was initially told I had 6 months to change mu behaviour (was depressed) and 4 days later was told she wants a divorce (4th May if you can believeit). What happened on that day, she talked to her therapist who she had a falling out with. The she talked wirh her mother who also always says she wants to divorce her husband and had been using my STBXW as an emotional crutch throughout her life. My STBXW surrounded herself with toxicity both from birth not out of choice and from…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/23 05:54 AM
8	I feel like I now hate women I have been told my STBEW wants a divorce on Thursday last week, still raw and I weirdly enough am still infatuated by her... Sometimes I hate her guts sometimes I still love her but overall I just had feelings of wanting to end this misery that's life. But alas we all have to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off, improve ourselves and get on with it. Women aren't the problem, the problem was that specific person. Might be due to you reliving some patterns learned in childhood and you know w…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/05/23 06:03 AM
2	When your ex-wife start dating someone new LOL that's what I was told on Thursday, still raw and hurts and then her putting all the blame on me for her wanting a divorce. Not going to lie, we had issues and I was depressed and not capable to address these. However still feel raw	/r/Divorce_Men	08/05/23 08:56 AM
5	Wife asked for divorce this week. Terrible feeling. Making slow steps to rebuild but am needing camaraderie and shoulders to lean on. So would the words "we're just too different and have drifted apart" count within the cheaters playbook?	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/23 06:34 AM