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ben-kenobi-wan Archive

View 3 posts and 19 comments by ben-kenobi-wan on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Or what if she had his commitment, but found that there were other parts of his inner-most being that he was holding back - that he hadn't yet trusted her with yet? Surely she would find it a new challenge to get her man to commit even those parts to her, which he otherwise reserved for himself, which is why a man's attractiveness goes up as the woman finds more and more mysterious things about him. It's fun for her to chase after those things, persuading him to unlock them to her. In 103 you sa…
/r/RPChristians29/08/18 06:57 AM
1

The concept of "the relationship" Let me rephrase what I said to see if I'm grasping the idea: I believe that the man setting good precedents/establishing good habits for a couple's interaction is about as important as the woman he's interacting with. I think I've set a lot of really important precedents/we're off to a great start. We get into the word together/pray for each other, we both encourage each other toward our goals, and physical touch abounds (with boundaries, see below). Is that wha…
/r/RPChristians27/08/18 06:33 AM
1

Thanks for the practical pointers!
/r/RPChristians27/08/18 05:15 AM
1

Thank you for the reply! I remain optimistic, but wary. I will read your 400 series (and the rest of the sidebar).
/r/RPChristians26/08/18 03:39 AM
3

Wow, taking time with God was worth it! ​ This morning I spent an hour sitting in my closet like you said to ask God whether I should get engaged now, wait, break up, or what. He didn't answer, but helped me identify my fears about each option. I was able to let go control of the decision and trust Him in that hour. ​ I had some other stuff to do, but later I came back and just started walking. It turned into a 3.5 mile, 2.5 hour walk. Matthew 6:21 came up (Where your treasure is there your hear…
/r/RPChristians26/08/18 03:32 AM
1

True dat about the boundaries. I've already noticed some increase in tempting thoughts since we talked together and decided to get married. So I've been proactive in planning our weekends together so that we are doing activities, hanging with other people, etc. Basically not making out all the time in isolated rooms with comfy beds. ​ I'm aware that there will be unpleasant revelations down the road. I just can't think of anything that could be a deal breaker that I haven't already weeded out. ​…
/r/RPChristians26/08/18 01:11 AM
1

I don't yet have a very specific calling, but God did lead me to go to engineering school. She doesn't have a specific calling yet either, and she's in medical. Both of our degrees can be applied in similar locations, though mine is more versatile. I am interested in hospitality, maybe helping or mentoring homeless/jobless people, and I like teaching. She's on board to host people at our (future, hypothetical) house, and supportive of me. I do think I'm called to be a father. She was hesitant at…
/r/RPChristians26/08/18 01:02 AM
1

First "I've built good habits and defenses ... Time limit on YouTube, no video games, better diet, better sleep hygiene," etc. These are all human effort things. Yes, those are human effort things, and I've failed many times with them. They do help avoid tempting situations though. Fleeing temptation in advance and all that. My recent development from never getting past two weeks to these last seven months seems to correlate to two things: Very roughly around a month before, I started praying fo…
/r/RPChristians26/08/18 12:54 AM
1

TWO I don't know what's a blue vs red answer to most of these questions, so this is as honest as I could make it. Why do you want to marry this woman? I believe the nature of a couple's relationship is about as important as the people in it. I think I've set a lot of really important precedents/we're off to a great start. We get into the word together/pray for each other, we both encourage each other toward our goals, and physical touch abounds (with boundaries, see below). As for her merits: Sh…
/r/RPChristians26/08/18 12:53 AM
1

Well, she was a lot less biased than Hillary would be. ( She didn't hear anything and agreed with what I said) But I see your point. Hard to be objective about leaving or staying when she's right there.
/r/RPChristians25/08/18 11:18 PM
2

But for the record, IMHO, you are too young and you haven’t dated long enough. For what it's worth, due to the LDR situation marriage is ~12 months out. As far as being young are you referring to my low SMV (poor college student, etc) or maturity? ​ Beyond that, congratulations and I truly pray your RPC marriage works out for you. I do have a bit of advice. Your marriage is not the finish line of being single. It is the starting line of being single on hard mode: married. That's a good perspecti…
/r/RPChristians24/08/18 01:56 AM
3

Do you have a real life mentor? mmm, thanks for the reminder. I need to put some effort into finding one. My common excuses are that I'm moving around right now and don't have time to develop a good relationship, and that I don't know where to look. I assume this has been discussed before on here so I'll do some reading. ​ You forget that WHEN you do get married you can do something you can't do now. Well, I didn't forget that :P I was just thinking of times that could come up where sex is impos…
/r/RPChristians24/08/18 01:48 AM
2

One of the best ways to avoid temptation while married is to not spend time alone. Good point, I hadn't thought of that! ​ My only other concern for you in getting married is that it appears you have known your gf for less than 7 months, correct? Or did you know her before dating? And has it been long distance the entire time? It becomes much easier for a woman to mold herself into something a man may want when they only see each other a couple times a month, at most. No, I didn't know her befor…
/r/RPChristians24/08/18 12:58 AM
3

There is a stark difference between a relapse and a mistake. To clarify, this was definitely a mistake. Satan would obviously like it to be a relapse, and I think God wants to use it as a wakeup call. I'm choosing God's way ;) It’s weak, and will only ever serve to ease your conscience at the expense of hers. Thanks, it'll be helpful to think about things like that in the future.
/r/RPChristians02/08/18 04:45 AM
1

haha, yeah I'm just trying to find when openness vs discretion is the best option.
/r/RPChristians02/08/18 04:43 AM
2

Won't lie Thankfully, I have good bros like that Yeah, I wasn't thinking of every time, just letting her know that it's not necessarily entirely in my past Yes, that's my goal. Just trying to figure out how much Thanks, God bless!
/r/RPChristians02/08/18 04:42 AM
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I've heard this, but I was willing to go for it because: There is a hard deadline when long-distance ends (at graduation this coming June) We are close enough to see each other in person at least once a month I am moving so frequently right now my only option to develop a long-term prospect is long distance She seems like a good fit and we're seriously considering marriage Thanks for the input!
/r/RPChristians02/08/18 04:39 AM
1

Yeah I want to be able to have open/honest/intimate communication when I get married, but I'm still trying to learn which things are more hurt than help to talk about. I've been kinda putting off getting a mentor because I have to move like every 6 months for school right now. I have a slightly more senior peer to help me out, but not exactly a mentor. Thanks for the push, I'll look into it.
/r/RPChristians02/08/18 04:36 AM
1

I was thinking I probably shouldn't but in the midst of the moment it's hard to sort through all the thoughts. Thanks for replying so quickly!
/r/RPChristians02/08/18 04:32 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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