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benkyou_shinakya Archive

View 2 posts and 34 comments by benkyou_shinakya on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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12

Oh yeah this happened to me with an ugly ass guy who was shorter than me... I told him it wasn’t going to work out and he had the nerve to threaten me with where I live and stalk me...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:53 PM
17

Yeah I definitely notice when my mom yells, it’s because she’s stressed. I’m really really trying to help her be more emotionally stable and release her stress healthily, but it’s so frickin tiring. I thought stone walling was an abuse tactic so I didn’t want to use it and tried to politely listen, but I will try using it from now on. I can’t save up til after graduation, so I’m stuck with her for another year. It’s esp. bad because of the pandemic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:16 PM
39

I’m really sorry, it seems like you lost an amazing man. I grew up in a household where raising your voice was normalized. I’m back home and my mom just screams at everyone all the time when she doesn’t get her way. She’s emotionally abusive and manipulative. I realized I normalized this too and when I started raising my voice when I feel cornered and my ex (although he was shitty) brought this up to my attention. The good thing about him was that he never lashed out at me even though he got ann…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 11:30 AM
2

I think this is the biggest reason to drop her. If you feel uncomfortable, respect yourself and drop her. Not everyone is meant to be in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 07:53 AM
4

Yeah it freaks me out, so I end up with guys who put in zero effort and avoidant fuckbois 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 01:40 PM
50

I fell off FDS because was lonely and got into one of the worst relationships in my life. I had to beg him for affection and constantly sacrificed for him like cook for him and he literally never said thank you. He cheated on me with multiple girls and had multiple relationships at any given time. I regret leaving FDS, because I would have left him from the beginning instead of waste 8 months of my life being miserable in a relationship to just not be lonely. My next relationship was 2 weeks. An…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 04:49 AM
2

Thank you!! I’m really proud of myself for going through what I went through and emerging from the other side!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 07:11 AM
12

I think he genuinely believed it at the time or was trying to convince himself. Objectively he knows cheating is a bad thing, but always tried to make it about the girl's fault to absolve all responsibility. But once he actually went out with a girl who would meet him every week, he still cheated. For about a month after I found about his cheating, I was trauma bonded to him, and stuck around him (I know, bad idea, but at least it was only a month). I candidly talked to him about why he cheats, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 04:58 PM
55

My Japanese ex cheated on me with multiple girls. He had multiple girlfriends at once. He had the nerve to tell me in the beginning that if Japanese girls meet every week, there would be no reason to cheat. I should have seen that as a red flag, but instead chalked it up to culture... Guess what, I turned down multiple travel opportunities to see him every week and stayed in my miserable apartment in Tokyo JUST for him. I’m so thankful I found about his cheating a few months before I left and wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:12 AM
4

I don’t like going for older guys because of icky power dynamics. But I’m still at an age where most of the guys my age or younger are immature. Sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 12:56 PM
4

EVEN if any of what he said wasn’t complete bullshit, if he makes you feel unhappy in the relationship (clearly since he was being secretive about his insta and wouldn’t get you gifts), dump him. You don’t have to “justify” it by asking a bunch of redditors, dump him. You don’t need a reason to dump someone. I wish I knew this with my cheating ex way before I knew about his cheating. I was miserable but afraid to be alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 03:01 PM
21

Just why America??? Edit: omg Canada
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:58 PM
2

It could just be a simple mistake. I wouldn’t say it’s THAT big of a red flag unless he repeats it multiple times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 10:56 AM
21

That’s why my ex all of a sudden cheated on me with “3 hotter girls” 🤢 I was the only one stupid enough to help him become a better boyfriend by staying by his pathetic ass for 8 months. Suddenly, he started becoming way more successful with the ladies because of what I told him 🤡 Just thinking about it makes me mad, and I never want to think about him again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:34 PM
22

I fucking live in Japan and the stereotype that men are too shy to seduce women is so fucking false. Do you know how many fuckbois I’ve had to swat off who wanted to sleep with me? I have a whole album of guys asking me to have sex within the first message. I’ve had guys grope me at bars and clubs in japan. I’ve had guys not take a hint and consistently ask me for dates even when I said no. There’s a whole culture around “nanpa” (picking girls up), and I’ve been stopped so many times while walki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:48 AM
6

Reading this, I immediately thought this was too much attention and I almost withdrew. I probably have a fearful avoidant type and only go after emotionally unavailable guys then become super clingy when they withdraw. How do I change to accept this kind of love? When I hear this, I’m immediately distrustful and think that that guy must have some malicious intent or doesn’t have enough going on in his own life. But he sounds like a good guy and it sounds like you leveled up! Good job!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:33 AM
25

That’s definitely lovebombing and manipulation. If he was just excited, he would respect your boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 03:58 PM
11

What is love bombing vs being excited?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 03:35 PM
33

There are a lot of thought provoking non sexual anime because like you said, it’s a medium. People need to stop stigmatizing the medium because there are a lot of beautiful stories from Japanese creators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 12:13 PM
1

I was codependent and he was the center of my life. Being away from him felt like drug withdrawal because I didn’t have anything else going on in my life. I always romanticized the past and believed in the future but never loved to real him. Tbh I don’t think I can ever really love who he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:30 AM
7

I just say a good person is my type. Or physically because they cannot change that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:56 AM
8

Yo I should have paid attention to fds before I got exclusive with my ex. He had so many heart emojis on his messages screen and then had the nerve to tell me he only used it with me. I was a pickme, so I believed him and dated him for4 months aftwr that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:10 AM
1

Fuck this is exactly like my ex. He always gaslit me into thinking I didn’t give him enough privacy. Fuck him. Privacy means cheating on me with several relationships??? He had multipls “gfs”, what an ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:14 AM
32

Is this my ex??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 06:28 PM
16

It happens. I’ve been approached off the street like that many times before. It just depends on the time of day and where. Mostly at night with lots of people (city).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 06:04 AM
2

Thank you! I’m trying to focus on me and shifting my self esteem from being based on what others think of me/having someone “love” me to something more intrinsic. I kept on going back to my ex, because my whole self esteem was based on his “love” for me. But clearly he doesn’t love me. So I gotta love myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 08:47 AM
4

As someone who has been there before, it’s definitely a self esteem issue. It’s gravitating towards what’s familiar and being scared of the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 02:38 AM
3

This is me :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 02:35 AM
95

True, I made the mistake of originally suppressing my needs in order to make my ex like me. And I guess it worked at the expense of making me miserable. Then after I couldn’t take it anymore, I fought with him every week until he didn’t like me anymore because I wasn’t low maintenance anymore. All in all, I really just wasted my time to make some shitty guy “love” me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 04:27 PM
35

I want to downvote SO badly. God someone help
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 11:05 PM
30

Yup! First I’m not going to even think about dating! I’m gonna to be happy single!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:57 PM
43

I think I need to have a lot of self esteem to be able to do that. I was a BIG pickme before and was afraid of people disliking me, so I gave out early. But now I’m taking back control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:53 PM
1

I was gaslighted my whole relationship into thinking I was terrible for always fighting and being insecure. After all I should trust my ex and give him unlimited freedom right? Even towards the end, I was wrong for being mad that he hid his Twitter from me and flirted with girls and lied about having a gf. Then it turns out he cheated on me the ENTIRE relationship and had multiple gfs and made me seem like the bad one. I am so mad, and I feel crazy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 04:02 AM
14

Exactly, there’s a right way to say it and a wrong way to say it. A possible ok way to say it is that even if he finds a person better than you, he’s trash and didn’t appreciate how amazing you are. 5 languages is amazing and you shouldn’t feel down about yourself because of some idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 04:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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