| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 50 | A little success story for the day | bes753 | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/23 02:59 AM | |
| 37 | Don't Ever Look Back | bes753 | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/24 04:59 PM | |
| 24 | The Sense of Relief When It Is Finally Settled | Success Stories | bes753 | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/24 05:06 PM |
| 6 | I Should Have Known Better | bes753 | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/22 05:41 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | I don't think I can be a single dad.You don't think you can be a single dad? You can, and you will. You are still in the early stages of processing this, and it likely feels as if your whole world is crashing in around you. Most of us have been there too. The good news is, you will get through that. Once you start to come to terms with what is happening and focus on the logistics of how you are going to make this work, you will find the way. If she is the primary income, it is very likely she ends up paying you CS and possibly ali… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 01:59 PM |
| 10 | STBX posting inspirational quotes - why is this a thing?It is just seeking attention, validation, and sympathy from the people who will tell her she is so strong and brave for getting out of a bad situation, although most of them have no idea what the situation really is or if a large portion of it was her own creation. I feel like a large percentage of them do this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 06:27 PM |
| 2 | Would you take her back?No. She is still the exact same person that I divorced. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/26 02:06 PM |
| 3 | Affair with no future but strong attachment — need real adviceI think this is the best path forward. Neither of these relationships are healthy, and OP needs to do some serious work on himself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/26 02:50 PM |
| 1 | Girlfriend wants kids, I definitely don't. We're at a crossroads and I feel like I'm losing my best friend. Has anyone else survived this?This is a fundamental incompatibility. Neither of you would be truly happy if you compromised. Go your separate ways. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 04:59 PM |
| 5 | She cheated but I stayedFirst of all, you do want a DNA test. Second, in many states, you are presumed to be the father because you are married, and you cannot go forward with a divorce while she is pregnant. You need to speak with a lawyer ASAP. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/25 02:41 PM |
| 28 | Guys Who've Been Through Divorce: What Was the HARDEST Part to Get Used To?Not seeing my kids every day. Learning to be myself again instead of burying parts of my personality to avoid the negative attention from her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 03:16 PM |
| 4 | Does anyone actually secure a date on Bumble?Been dating the same woman since May of last year. Met her on Bumble. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/25 02:11 PM |
| 3 | Do you tell your boss when you were going through divorce?I told my boss at the time. He and I had a great relationship, and I knew that he had my back. He provided additional cover when I needed to be out of the office for appointments, court, etc., or even when I was just having a rough few days. That all being said, I only told one other co-worker. She was a primary stakeholder for all of my projects, and I also wanted her to know why I seemed "off" at times. She was also incredibly supportive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/25 03:20 PM |
| 2 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support payments50/50 here and pay both child support and alimony. A little piece of my soul dies each month when I write the check. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/25 03:58 PM |
| 2 | Should I request Child Support?Depending on the income disparity of the parties, the state, health insurance, etc., even 50/50 scenarios can end with a significant amount of child support. Ask me how I know. I have 50/50 with 2 kids and pay $1.500/month in CS. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/25 06:33 PM |
| 6 | Keep Divorce a SecretThis is because she is planning to privately tell everyone that this is all your fault but not to bring it up because she wants to be the bigger person. You are an autonomous human. Tell whomever you want. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/25 11:57 PM |
| 3 | How do I deal with an ex who guilt-trips me over child support?In many states, child support is a calculation based on factors like income, days of custody, and coverage of insurance and work-related childcare expenses. It doesn't look like your post gives the state in which your order exists. It is very possible that you could get a decent idea of your real obligation under the court if your state does have a calculator. I would also suggest looking at your paperwork to see if you are required to update your income annually. I am required by court order to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/08/25 02:35 PM |
| 2 | Divorce Finalized – Ex Won’t Refinance as Ordered, Wants Me to Initiate Assumption Instead.But it has value to her. The value of something is always what someone else is willing to give up for it, not necessarily what it is worth to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/25 03:39 PM |
| 3 | Divorce Finalized – Ex Won’t Refinance as Ordered, Wants Me to Initiate Assumption Instead.I think there is something to learn here about boundaries as well. From your comments, she had an option to assume at the lower rate in exchange for your receiving more assets. She didn't take that, likely because she was being petty and didn't want to compensate you. That is her bed, let her lie in it. If you swoop in now with the mortgage assumption where she is going to get all the benefit and successfully screwed you out of what you could have negotiated, she will continue to expect you to b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/25 01:27 PM |
| 2 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?I would remarry, but I am out on the more children. I have 2 (5, 7), and I don't want to go back to diapers or be in my 60s when my kid is getting out of high school. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 02:01 PM |
| 4 | I’m out of the frying panThat she attacked you with a knife, was arrested for it, and is still given 50/50 custody is just mind-blowing. That definitely wouldn't be the case if the roles were reversed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 06:58 PM |
| 5 | New partner not liking my kidTime to move on from this relationship. No woman is worth sacrificing the quality or quantity of time you get with your son, especially when that is only 4 days a month. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 02:45 PM |
| 3 | How long did your divorce take?Filed August 2022, finalized in mediation August 2024. We had a brief, disastrous period of trying to reconcile somewhere in the middle. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 02:02 PM |
| 1 | Does a woman that helps a man even exist?There are good women out there, but there are also a lot of bad ones. Date, but pack it up and move along as soon as you see a red flag. Your peace isn't worth the hassle that most women bring. I have a great girlfriend now, but I went through a lot of dates to find one. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/25 02:15 PM |
| 1 | What do you pay for child support?Mine is $1500 per month, but that includes insurance. I make about 150k, and she makes around 35k. We have 50/50, but the income disparity kills me. As close as you all are in income and custody, I would wager that there is no way you are going to be at $1500 monthly. ETA: 2 kids | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/25 08:48 PM |
| 6 | KARMA! Is it real?Karma isn't real in the sense that is some supernatural force that brings balance and fairness to the universe. What is real though are consequences. People who routinely make decisions that harm others tend to find themselves in a position where they have no one left to care about them at some point, because they have burned all those bridges. That said, if they are good at finding new supplies of attention and support, they are unlikely to ever learn. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/25 03:04 PM |
| 12 | Am I an asshole for saying this:Not an asshole at all. I said the same thing to my ex when she told me that she wanted a divorce but we could still be friends. In fact, I went as far to tell her that she isn't the type of person that I would choose to be friends with. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/24 04:20 PM |
| 2 | ED? Performance Anxiety?? Wtf!?!I don't think it is uncommon at all. I had a few occurrences of it after splitting from my X. I think it is a combination of performance anxiety and healing from the trauma of what you went through, especially with a dead bedroom involved. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 03:35 PM |
| 1 | How Long in Same SpaceConversation in June 2022, filed in August 2022... she has to be out of my house on 11/3/24. 0/10, would not recommend | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/24 03:15 PM |
| 3 | Ever hear of a divorce couple splitting a duplex and each living on one side?I guess it depends on how well they get along. Would I do it? HAHAHA hell no. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 06:14 PM |
| 3 | Beginning or end?For me, going through the first few months and learning to accept that my marriage was ending felt much harder than the actual end. By the time we signed the final paperwork, I was ready to have her as much out of my life as she can be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 05:43 PM |
| 1 | I've been divorced for 3+ years, and still feel as lost as I did since day one. When and how did things start getting better for you all?Have you been doing therapy? There are some things in life that it is very difficult to heal from all on your own. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/08/24 03:11 PM |
| 3 | I’ll die aloneNo such thing as a soul mate. Couples aren't "meant" to be together. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Work on yourself first, and then see how you feel about the whole thing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/24 03:04 PM |
| 3 | Weight loss after being blindsidedI lost around 60 pounds after starting the divorce process. Still keeping it off 2 years later, despite the stress of the divorce itself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 03:44 PM |
| 1 | The Sense of Relief When It Is Finally SettledWe have two kids, so I will never be fully rid of her. I couldn't care less about her dating life though (with maybe the exception of she is introducing someone to the kids). | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/24 07:09 PM |
| 2 | The Sense of Relief When It Is Finally SettledThat sucks, brother. Stay strong. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/24 07:08 PM |
| 1 | The Sense of Relief When It Is Finally SettledMy biggest piece of advice is to go in with a game plan for which things you are willing to budge on and which you aren't. Mediation is meant to make everyone give something up to reach a deal that no one loves but everyone can live with. Know where you can give ground and still live with the results and use that as your bargaining chips. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/24 07:07 PM |
| 7 | Do you regret getting divorced?Mine is still ongoing, but I can already tell you it is not something I regret. I should have left her much sooner in the relationship than I did, but no way to change that. Even with the stress of the pending divorce, my life is already much better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/24 01:54 PM |
| 6 | I found out that she had a picture of me naked that she’s been circulating.You should definitely ask your attorney about it and check on if the exposure to her family and friends constitutes "revenge porn" under your state's laws. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/24 02:34 PM |
| 2 | How to deal with my stbx during our divorce?I don't remember writing this, but it sure feels like I did. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/24 04:38 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else lose everything? I paid bills out of joint acct during 3 yr divorce, judge ordered me to pay $ back bc I did it w/o permission& 2 yr later judge ordered me to pay my half of house sale within 7 days + 8 yrs spousal support bc she's uneducated.Not your attorney and not in your jurisdiction, but I have gotten alimony awards overturned in the Court of Appeals before, so it is definitely something that can happen. Keep your head up my friend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/24 06:44 PM |
| 3 | What a funny way to tell on yourself... If they ask you for an open marriage and you never gave any signs of wishing for such a thing, better be looking for lawyer ASAPAn open marriage request is hearsay, but in most jurisdictions it may still be admissable in court. It is what is known as an admission by a party-opponent. Standard disclaimer that I am a lawyer, but not your lawyer, and may not be licensed to practice in your jurisdiction. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/24 06:33 PM |
| 3 | How to make friends in a small town?Find something to get involved with. It is much easier to make friends when you demonstrate a mutual interest. I made a ton of friends through a men's workout group called F3. It is free and limited to men only. It was a huge support during my divorce though, and I now have a pretty wide circle of friends that I can genuinely rely on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/24 06:54 PM |
| 10 | When do I stop giving a shit?You stop caring when you decide to. The people that she lies to that actually believe her are likely people you don't need in your life anyway. Anyone that knows you well and cares about you will know better. I struggled with this a lot until I realized that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/03/24 09:05 PM |
| 1 | Don't Ever Look BackYou got this my man. The model of relationships that our kids see is very important. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/02/24 08:38 PM |
| 2 | Don't Ever Look BackI feel like it has been a never-ending cycle. She wants to leave I start working on myself and taking care of what is most important She sees the change and thinks it has magically solved our problems (since we all know I was 100% the problem anyway) She wants to come back with the idea that things will be different She changes nothing Problems arise and we return to Step 1 I am tired of arguing that I matter and that my wants, needs, and opinions should be a consideration. I think sometimes we … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/02/24 03:53 PM |
| 2 | Don't Ever Look BackNo excuses from me. I knew what I was doing was probably dumb and likely wouldn't work. At least I can be another cautionary tale that hopefully saves another dude the hassle. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/02/24 01:48 PM |
| 1 | Don't Ever Look BackYeah, it is more than a workout. I now have a support network and friends like I haven't had for most of my adult life. I don't just mean acquaintances. I am talking about friends that will actually go to bat for you. It has changed my life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/02/24 01:45 PM |
| 4 | Don't Ever Look BackIt is a free men's workout group that has chapters all over the US. You can check f3nation.com to see if there is one around you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/02/24 01:08 AM |
| 3 | Don't Ever Look BackThanks! I had some friends rope me into doing F3 with them, and it has been truly life-changing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/24 07:23 PM |
| 4 | Don't Ever Look BackShe barely reacted to it, which I think should tell you something on its own. We had multiple conversations where I made it clear that I needed to get something out of our marriage or I was done. She knew that by taking no action that she was eventually going to lose me. I think it is actually what she wants... she just couldn't articulate that or she didn't want to admit it since she is the one that advocated for pulling us back together. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/24 07:16 PM |
| 1 | Don't Ever Look BackI feel that pain, man. Our 14th anniversary is next week. At least you are seeing some effort from her. Are you all doing counseling or anything to try and work through the resentment? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/24 06:57 PM |
| 8 | Don't Ever Look BackIn my experience, the unwillingness to put in the work is a sign that they still think all the issues in the marriage are all your fault. It is a complete lack of self-awareness, and it is virtually impossible get past. You fix one issue... they move the goalposts. Unless playing whack-a-mole the rest of your life is your thing, really take the time to consider what you are doing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/24 06:23 PM |
| 1 | I f*cked up. I just want my family backYou miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I think you will regret it if you don't tell her how you feel. You have put in the work to improve yourself and handle your issues. You have to at least try to see if there is something left there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 08:08 PM |
| 2 | C/S question (WI)Not sure about WI, but my state will allow you to impute income to a parent based on earning capacity. This helps to keep people from taking advantage by being voluntarily unemployed or under-employed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 07:17 PM |
| 2 | Proving Alcohol Abuse in Custody CasePer the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 4 or more drinks a day or 14 or more drinks a week is considered "heavy drinking." You are well above that by your own admission. It sounds like you manage it well, but it probably still isn't healthy for you. Give it up for the sake of your health and your case. Your kids need the absolute best version of their dad. You've got this brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/23 02:51 PM |
| 2 | WhenIf you are looking for a way to exercise while you move around the road, check out f3nation.com. It is a free men's workout group that has regions all over the US. Just dip into one that works with your schedule in the city you are in/near. Getting some legit exercise will start to improve your mood on its own. That should help you kickstart everything else. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/23 05:46 PM |
| 6 | THANK YOU!!I've read the book a couple of times now, but I have never seen those videos. Thanks for the recommendation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/23 03:41 PM |
| 23 | Tell me she is going to destroy her new relationship.Statistically speaking, their relationship is unlikely to survive, but that isn't important now. Get your own shit together. Focus on you and your child. That is what is important now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/23 10:22 PM |
| 3 | Ugly DivorceHe needs to limit all contact to only important aspects of the children's lives, and I would also suggest that he use an app like Our Family Wizard to do so. Also, take a look at parallel parenting and see how he might apply it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/23 05:14 PM |
| 1 | A little success story for the dayWhat they are during the divorce was always inside them, they just do a better job of masking it while they think they can get something out of you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/23 12:11 PM |
| 1 | A little success story for the dayI had challenged the fact that she was taking the kids around him. The judge asked her bluntly if she had a sexual relationship with him. She answered that she did. It all came out of a line of questioning from her attorney. Their basic argument was she was sleeping with him, but she has stopped, so he shouldn't be counted as a paramour anymore. It was one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/23 04:43 PM |
| 2 | A little success story for the dayThis is what I am hoping for. She has stalled and been uncooperative since the process started because she thought she was going to get something that everyone told her she wouldn't. Hoping this opens her eyes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/23 12:35 PM |
| 3 | Silver bullet nightmareJuries can be an absolute shit show with anything involving alleged harm to a child. Hopefully he is able to work through an appeal to clear his name. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/01/23 02:55 PM |
| 2 | Silver bullet nightmareHis lawyer should immediately be moving for a new trial as well as filing any appeals of right that he may have. I'm guessing this was a jury trial? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/01/23 01:52 PM |
| 6 | just got a gun pointed at me.Attaboy. Time to start taking care of yourself. You are likely in for some struggles since she is clearly a "high-conflict" individual, and I can speak from experience on that. I would suggest checking out the book Splitting by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/23 07:04 PM |
| 7 | just got a gun pointed at me.Well then let her assert that as an affirmative defense when it goes to court. You should still file the police report. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/23 06:54 PM |
| 5 | just got a gun pointed at me.Pointed a loaded weapon at someone, even without firing it, is almost certainly a crime in your state. Go to the station, file a police report. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/23 06:48 PM |
| 4 | Wife changing her mindI would disagree that you are caught in no man's land. She asked for a separation and divorce with no effort to work on it because this was an exit affair. She fully intended to leave you. The only reason that she is now reconsidering is that you exposed her affair, and she is now going to suffer the consequences of that. Do you really think if you hadn't found out that she still would have tried to crawl back? As someone who was cheated on and reconciled, I can tell you that, despite forgivenes… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/23 09:21 PM |
| 2 | When Does it end?At trial the judge usually favors whatever the current situation is. Hope OP sees this. Status quo is incredibly powerful. He has the leverage here, especially if he holds on to it and the trial isn't for another year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/22 09:31 PM |
| 13 | Did you become persona non grata to other married men friends after Divorce?I felt like I had more issues just after d-day, but that is because my STBXW had been on a smear campaign to anyone that would listen, including my own family. She had even told multiple people we were getting divorced before she said a word to me. Most of them didn't buy it, but there were definitely a few that felt more cold. After a while, I feel like things went back to normal. I think some people just don't really know what to say when they find out you are getting a divorce. Should they te… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/22 04:36 PM |
| 2 | divorce/custody going on a year now.Haven't read it, but the BIFF technique is talked about in Splitting to some extent. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/22 02:27 PM |
| 5 | divorce/custody going on a year now.If you haven't already, I would recommend reading the book Splitting. It is about dealing with divorce and custody issues with high conflict individuals who have BPD, NPD, ASPD, or traits of those. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/22 09:07 PM |
| 8 | She’s playing the systemHappens a lot, unfortunately. It sounds like you are in for a high conflict divorce. I would suggest reading the book Splitting. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/12/22 06:08 PM |
| 8 | Life has been getting better yet I’m still angryDamn. That is terrible. My sympathies that you had to go through something like that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/22 02:55 PM |
| 1 | GaslightingSince you are new to the terminology (although you likely understand the behavior inherently), another term you will want to pick up is Gray Rocking. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/22 06:25 PM |
| 2 | GaslightingThis is a wonderful analogy. Thank you for this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/22 06:21 PM |
| 7 | Hearing coming up.I had a hearing a couple of weeks back where my STBXW asked for exclusive possession of this house. I fought it by noting that there was no history of violence in our relationship, we had already co-habitated for 3 months of the divorce with no major issues, and that we didn't have the financial means to support two households. Her motion was dismissed. Fight this will everything you can, as losing it is going to make the rest of the case a lot harder for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/22 05:00 PM |
| 5 | Should I leave a good woman just to be single?Have you tried talking to her about why you are unhappy? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/22 03:45 PM |
| 4 | Why would my soon to be ex wife lie and say "I don't even have any boyfriends."?I see you've met my STBXW. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/22 07:13 PM |
| 1 | Temporary orders and divorce.I've got those issues too, man. I did get an order yesterday to get the house listed for sale... so she spend all morning arguing about what to list it for. There is nothing easy in this life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/22 05:30 PM |
| 1 | Temporary orders and divorce.Now she is just being more unreasonable though. I work from home, and today she is demanding that I keep my office door closed and don't come out during business hours. My door is almost never closed, my kids roam in and out of my office all day, and I routinely each lunch or take breaks with them. I told her where she could take her request. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/22 05:24 PM |
| 3 | Temporary orders and divorce.Had my hearing this morning. Motion was dismissed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/22 07:58 PM |
| 5 | Temporary orders and divorce.I have a hearing tomorrow for the motion my STBXW filed asking for exclusive possession of the house. I'll let you know how it goes. In terms of my response, I made sure to point out that her and I have cohabitated for over 3 months with no issues, there is no history of violence in our marriage, I continue to contribute to the household chores, I continue to exercise parenting time without her (so she clearly doesn't see me as a threat to the kids), and we lack for the financial means to suppor… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/22 10:39 PM |
| 1 | Am I in the wrong here?They absolutely will as they lament how unfair the courts can be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 11:58 PM |
| 6 | How I let a woman destroy my life - 41m. Young men: Do not ever get married.I see you've talked with my STBXW. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 05:06 PM |
| 2 | Am I in the wrong here?I agree with this. The animosity that it could build is going to bleed over to when you have to start working through things that matter. You also should demand every penny you are entitled to. With roles reversed, there is no way you would come out with the better end of the deal, and you shouldn't let her either. Fair is fair. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 03:25 PM |
| 1 | Looking For Your Help!I could probably help you. I am a dad going through a divorce with two minor children. I am also a former divorce attorney, so I know both sides of the aisle. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 03:20 PM |
| 2 | This is like trying to get out of a cartel...she's shown you who she really is, now the hard part, you've got to believe her!! This is so well put, and I think is the part a lot of us struggle with at first. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/22 02:29 PM |
| 4 | This is like trying to get out of a cartel...I do believe you have just described exactly what precipitated my current divorce. Well done. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/22 02:27 PM |
| 3 | I wanted to get divorce without good reason (discovered marriage isn’t for me) however I know it will make my wife really sad she loves me so I decided to stay, married 2 years, child on the way, did I do the right thing?I honestly should have left years ago. I really don't have anyone but myself to blame for that though. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/22 08:23 PM |
| 4 | I wanted to get divorce without good reason (discovered marriage isn’t for me) however I know it will make my wife really sad she loves me so I decided to stay, married 2 years, child on the way, did I do the right thing?And what about when the kid is screaming at 3 am and both parents are sleep deprived? What about when you are changing the 4th blowout diaper in the last 3 hours? Children do not fix marriages that are fundamentally broken. In fact, they highlight the issues that already exist in a relationship more often than not. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/22 05:31 PM |
| 3 | I wanted to get divorce without good reason (discovered marriage isn’t for me) however I know it will make my wife really sad she loves me so I decided to stay, married 2 years, child on the way, did I do the right thing?I haven't abused her or cheated in our nearly 13 years of marriage or the 4 years we were together before that. Her chief complaints were that I work too much (I am the sole earner in our house, work about 50 hours a week) and that my depression and anxiety were having a negative impact on her and the kids (I am in IC and on medication to address these). On the contrary, she has had at least 2 affairs, has verbally and mentally abused me, and has taken advantage of my willingness to work hard to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/22 05:20 PM |
| 3 | I wanted to get divorce without good reason (discovered marriage isn’t for me) however I know it will make my wife really sad she loves me so I decided to stay, married 2 years, child on the way, did I do the right thing?I don't think anyone is saying there won't be consequences. If anything, his poor decision-making has actually created more consequences now with a child involved. That doesn't mean that he can't make a unilateral decision though. He is free, legally speaking, to end his marriage regardless of what his wife desires. Yes, he then has to live with what that means to everyone involved. No, he shouldn't stay in a marriage that he wants out of just because there will be consequences. No, it is not my… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/22 04:51 PM |
| 7 | I wanted to get divorce without good reason (discovered marriage isn’t for me) however I know it will make my wife really sad she loves me so I decided to stay, married 2 years, child on the way, did I do the right thing?I disagree completely. Leaving a marriage only requires one party, and I say that as the party who did not want the divorce in my case. You can't force someone to stay married to you. Even if you could, it would just make everyone miserable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/22 04:28 PM |
| 11 | I wanted to get divorce without good reason (discovered marriage isn’t for me) however I know it will make my wife really sad she loves me so I decided to stay, married 2 years, child on the way, did I do the right thing?I would say that "marriage isn't for me" would have been a perfectly good reason to divorce. Marriage is a 2 party thing. Unless both people are committed to it, it is tough to really make marriage work. That is now even more complicated because you all have a child. Ultimately though, we can't tell you if you did the right thing without some info. Do you still feel like you would be happier unmarried? How is the day to day with your wife? How are you enjoying fatherhood? We need to know somethi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/22 01:03 PM |
| 1 | Best thing to do after a divorceMine is that she claims the way I load them doesn't allow them to get completely dry. Neither does the way she loads them, for the record, but she rarely empties the dishwasher and basically never does after she was the one to load it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/22 04:01 PM |
| 1 | Best thing to do after a divorceI wasn't happy about it at first. The more time passes and the more I get to see her true self through the divorce... Yeah, I'm happy about it too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/22 01:55 AM |
| 1 | Introducing kids to new partnerI've been seeing someone for about 6 weeks. Bro. This isn't even in the same ballpark as long enough to be doing this. The professional advice I have seen from child psychologists suggests waiting 9-12 months to make this kind of intro. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/22 08:55 PM |
| 1 | Best thing to do after a divorceIt does feel like there is some envy there at times. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/22 08:49 PM |
| 2 | What do you all think I should do?Then you should be planning your exit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/22 07:36 PM |
| 2 | What do you all think I should do?You are not being unreasonable. Although she is the one that filed, your relationship clearly wasn't in a good place from your perspective either. Stick to your guns to make sure that she understands you need to see growth out of her to continue. If she can't get that, you are going to be better off moving on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/22 05:59 PM |
| 20 | Best thing to do after a divorceI am still going through mine, but there are things that I am already looking forward to. Not having to deal with passive-aggressive bullshit all the time. She would literally put things in my way intentionally so that I would have to deal with them... including junk mail and other things that she was perfectly capable of tossing. Not having to deal with someone who withholds affection or attention for long periods of time when they are mad. Not being criticized constantly for everything that I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/22 03:49 PM |
| 1 | I Should Have Known BetterAmended Complaint is being filed tomorrow morning, so I am full steam ahead now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/22 08:45 PM |
| 6 | Pro se experience ?I am an attorney. When my divorce first became an inevitability, I filed an initial Complaint on my own because my STBXW was in agreement with me on how to do things. The minute she quit agreeing, I began looking for an attorney to represent me. Even as an attorney, I would not go in the courtroom on a contested case and represent myself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/22 07:43 PM |
| 12 | Is there light at the end of the tunnelI am going through a divorce right now, and we have 2 kids (4 and 2). You have to come to terms with the fact that a divorce is going to mean seeing them less overall. Figure out how to make the time with them count and as awesome as it can be. In the long run, they are going to be better off than they would be living in a situation where their parents can't stand each other and fight constantly. Best of luck my friend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/22 01:20 PM |
| 2 | Unusual Situation - What state to get married in?This is sound advice. If you are going to move forward with marriage, have a proper prenup drafted that absolves you of responsibility for alimony in the case of a divorce. I would also suggest separate finances to make it easier to track what each of you contributed to any marital property. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/22 01:17 PM |
| 3 | I need some help, or advice, I need out of this desperately, but she spends all our money, and I'm not sure I have anywhere to go.Damn, I needed to read this. Sounds so much like my life, but I also have two kids. Working through the divorce right now. I feel pretty certain I am dealing with Narcissistic and Histrionic. She is manipulative with no boundary in what she will do to get what she wants. It has been hard. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/22 12:07 PM |
| 5 | Shared this in legal advice. Thought I’d share it here tooYou would likely qualify for a public defender assuming that you don't have other assets that could be liquidated. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/22 05:28 PM |
| 14 | Now she wants to work on it, lol.I suspect this is what mine is realizing now too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/22 04:34 PM |
| 31 | Now she wants to work on it, lol.Just went through an ordeal where my STBXW wanted to work it out all of sudden. It was a complete lie. I am guessing she doesn't like the way her life is shaping up post divorce and tried to get back in. Just keep moving forward man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/22 04:34 PM |
| 1 | I Should Have Known BetterNeighbor is a mutual friend that leans my way. I confirmed with her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/22 10:02 PM |
| 4 | I Should Have Known BetterI have already filed, but it was based on irreconcilable differences because she had initially agreed on things. She has since backtracked on that as well, so I am in the process of amending the complaint to express the proper grounds. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/22 07:43 PM |
| 5 | I Should Have Known BetterI am feeling that more than ever these days. Even trying to figure out childcare and stuff to make our divorce possible is all falling to me. The only thing she seems interested in doing is figuring out how she will spend her alimony. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/22 05:49 PM |
| 7 | Please someone tell me this gets easier. Tell me I'm going to survive this.It doesn't feel like it right now, but you will survive. You are going to have days where the world is ending and days where you think you can catch a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. Take care of yourself. Love your kids and be there for them. Take time to grieve your losses. I would definitely recommend that you look into therapy. Having someone to talk to has done wonders for me. I have also been attending some group therapy sessions, which I have found rewarding as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/22 05:38 PM |
| 6 | It’s Almost OverI'd honestly be more upset about the dog than the $10k. Glad you are going to get things wrapped up and be able to move on though, bro. Best of luck! | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/22 05:31 PM |
| 8 | Wife basically told me she never intends on changing.I am at the beginning of what I think (and hope) is a story similar to yours. Always good to hear when it turns out okay for us. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/09/22 05:52 PM |
| 6 | Divorced dads, how is your experience of coparenting with your ex? (academic research survey)Care to share the podcast title? I'd like to give it a listen since I am part of your target audience. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/22 02:37 AM |
| 2 | Keeping home in today's marketGet ready to come up with some cash or try to negotiate for her to take a payout over an extended period of time. Otherwise, you will likely need to sell. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/22 09:40 PM |
| 2 | Mediation finishedWasn't this one Napoleon? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/22 03:50 PM |
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