~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
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| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - October 01, 2019Thanks, I took a look at the LMNT packets and they are just sodium, potassium, magnesium, and flavoring. I'm already supplementing 250mg magnesium citrate daily so I think I just need to get better about drinking ketoade (lite salt + mio flavoring) regularly to ensure enough sodium and potassium. Totally agree on the calories and I'm going to hold steady at 2000 instead of increase and see how my weight reacts. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 02/10/19 09:14 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - October 01, 2019My only suggestion is to allow more than a week before modifying caloric goals; at least two. So many other factors affect weight such as sleep, stress, many things you may not even notice. Don't look for outliers, look for trends. I agree that I was too quick about deciding to raise my calories. /u/kikstartkid suggested looking at electrolytes first since I'm doing keto, and I agree I haven't been strict about them. I'll hold at 2000 calories for now and see what the trend looks like in two wee… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 02/10/19 02:16 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - October 01, 2019Thanks, I'll check that sub out! I agree about electrolytes. I track everything in Cronometer and I don't hit 5g of sodium most days. Potassium, magnesium, and calcium are not a problem for me. I'll ensure I'm getting enough sodium and keep it at 2000 calories for now. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 02/10/19 02:12 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - October 01, 2019OYS #34 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 191.9 lb, 24.7% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 0M. Married 8 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 200 BP 125 ROW 110 OHP 85 DL 185. Readings: NMMNG (x3), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM (x2), SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Practical Female Psychology, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Body Lifting I lifted tw… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 01/10/19 11:04 AM |
| 6 | OYS. Go post now. Maybe find your Morpheus.This. I began posting on OYS near the beginning of the year within two weeks of finding MRP because I knew I wouldn't accomplish jack shit without some level of accountability and outside insight. You can't unplug yourself. If you think you can, you're kidding yourself. You have blind spots that will be glaringly obvious to the rest of us. Yes, I have gotten my shit kicked in. Lots. But it has kept me honest, focused, and helped kill my ego. I have a long way to go still, but I know I'll make it… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 25/09/19 09:38 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 24, 2019how are you going to look at 170? At ~190 I still have a potbelly and love handles, but my face, arms, and legs look good. I think I'd look damn good at 170. Also, I'm targeting BF% more than weight. When I say I have a goal weight of 170, what I really mean is that I have a goal BF% of 15%, which would imply a weight of 170 given my current lean mass of about 145. Of course that assumes zero muscle loss which is, I'm coming to learn, unrealistic. I'd also recommend not unloading. I'd agree. 30%… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 25/09/19 07:09 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 24, 2019Good point for me to keep in mind. Thanks. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 25/09/19 06:55 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 24, 2019I get this. I'd go through phases over time. Then it'd bore the fuck out out me. Then I'd find something more valuable - rewarding - to do. Thanks for this. The MRP echo chamber lays the "Lift, faggot!" on so thick that I've sometimes wondered if there's something wrong with me for not enjoying it by this point. I am intellectually well aware of the many benefits. I know it will help just about every aspect of my life if I can just be disciplined about it. It's easy to think long term; six pack … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 25/09/19 04:48 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 24, 2019What she really wanted was a man - a man who wants to fuck (her). Yes, she was quite overt about this last night. And I know that women communicate overtly only as a last resort. Which means I've surely been ignoring the signs for a while now. Probably because IDGAF like you said. What is the point of starving yourself and reading lots of books and forcing yourself to the gym? I honestly couldn't tell you at this point. It's certainly not to get more sex like most guys here, she's offering it (f… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 24/09/19 10:09 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 24, 2019OYS #33 Previous OYS | First OYS Note: I didn't post last week, so this post covers the past two weeks. Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 188.6 lb, 24.0% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 0M. Married 8 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 190 BP 120 ROW 110 OHP 80 DL 180. Readings: NMMNG (x3), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM (x2), SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Practical Female Psycho… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 24/09/19 02:35 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 10, 2019OYS #32 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 190.7 lb, 24.6% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 0M. Married 8 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 170 BP 110 ROW 100 OHP 70 DL 170. Readings: NMMNG (x3), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Practical Female Psychology, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Body Lifting I lifted only on… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 10/09/19 03:56 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 03, 2019Hmm, let's take a look: 5'8", 192.0 lb, 24.9% BF Technically, my BMI is 29.2, so a physician would say I am overweight, not obese. But practically, yes, I am still a fat fuck. Less of a fat fuck than a few months ago, but still a fat fuck. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/09/19 02:09 PM |
| 3 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 03, 2019She told me this 10 days before our wedding because she had to or the marriage wouldn’t be valid in the catholic church. Maybe she (read: her hamster) really believed that, but it's very convenient timing, isn't it? Not many men have the balls to burn it all down mere days before a wedding. She gets her beta bucks and a clear conscience. Sounds good to me. I still married her after she told me and now I am here and I want to get through this anger for me. There's no use beating yourself up over … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/09/19 09:41 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 03, 2019You're right, I forgot to mention that in my OYS. Too wrapped up in myself these days I suppose... She has not crossed the boundary I set about drinking that night. There is no alcohol in the house, and there will not be for quite a while. She lost that privilege and she knows it. As for the postpartum depression, she was noticeably happier when her family was here (see last week's OYS). I mentioned this to her once they had left and she agreed that seeing her family, who we haven't seen since m… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/09/19 07:38 PM |
| 3 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 03, 2019Women I work with are telling me now to stop losing weight (I won’t look good at a lower weight they said) and my wife said something like that over the weekend. Crabs in a bucket. I've heard the same chatting with some guys at work. One guy asked me when I was planning on stopping keto and I told him I had about 20 pounds to go. He looked shocked at said I looked fine already. And maybe I do look "fine". But I don't want fine. I want to be the best possible version of myself. Do you? but I do c… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/09/19 07:22 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 03, 2019So even though it’s uncomfortable, I jumped for it when the opportunity came up. Incidentally, this came up right around the time that I was commenting (aka bitch slapping) to /u/beta_buxxx that he needed to face his social fears. I decided I needed to take my own advice. Glad my faggotry could be of service! | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/09/19 07:17 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 03, 20193 weeks no alcohol and Intermittent Fasting. Awesome, keep it up! 5’9” - 228 lbs - 31% BF (Navy Method) I was about 20 lbs lighter than I am now the last time I felt like I was eye-fucked by a woman so I’m aiming for that number. Bullshit, you were getting eye-fucked at 5'9" and 208 lbs? I am still a fat ass and need to lose at least 20 lbs. Actually planning to continue cut until I’m under 200 lbs. You should restate your goal in terms of BF%. Low BF is what makes you attractive. Aim for 10-15%… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/09/19 06:36 PM |
| 5 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 03, 2019But of course, we're just talking about jobs. As someone who has had far, far more success in my career than in my relationships with women, thank you for writing this. It helped things click for me just a little bit more. Any thought of turning this into a freestanding MRP post? | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/09/19 04:37 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 03, 2019OYS #31 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 192.0 lb, 24.9% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 0M. Married 8 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 165 BP 105 ROW 95 OHP 70 DL 170. Readings: NMMNG (x3), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Practical Female Psychology. Body Lifting I felt very ill last week; nausea, dizziness, and overwhel… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 03/09/19 02:19 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 27, 2019But as pathetic as he is, he still knows how to make friends. Guess what? He still knows how to make friends. No one is going to hold your hand on this. Harsh but true. I'm feeling rather pathetic right now. Look for other people that are transplants (not from there). They are generally looking to expand their social circle more than those that have lived there for 20 years. Lots and lots of transplants in my city, that shouldn't be too hard. Get to know your neighbors. I've actually gotten quit… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 30/08/19 07:14 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 27, 2019You've been putting this off for 8 months. As noted above, increasing your social life has positive effects on your marriage. Set a goal for this and implement. I read this yesterday and it terrified me. To the point where I considered dropping this whole MRP business and walking away, rather than facing my fear. To paraphrase Glover from near the end of NMMNG, if something scares me this much, it must be important for me to do. I slowly faded away from my social circle over the course of my rel… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 29/08/19 08:16 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 27, 2019This mindset is your beta shit goblin sayings "it's ok you didn't lift because you had people over". Thanks, I just re-read The Beta Shit Goblin. Gotta stay on top of that motherfucker. This shit is eye opening isn't it? Now that you know what you do... it's amazing to see the RP truths and dynamics at work. Damn is it ever. Watching my sister-in-law tear her husband a new asshole multiple times a day was hard. I really wanted to drop some RP hints for him, but I've read too many cautionary tale… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 27/08/19 08:13 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 27, 2019OYS #30 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 190.1 lb, 24.4% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 0M. Married 8 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 155 BP 100 ROW 80 OHP 65 DL 165. Readings: NMMNG (x3), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Practical Female Psychology. Body Lifting I lifted twice this week, which was decent considering we'… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 27/08/19 02:25 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 20, 2019I don't know how else I could have handled it without falling back on old emotionally wounded, verbally outraged behaviors? If it were me, I would have left immediately without saying a word and not come back for several hours or until the next morning. Of course I would go no contact during this time. It's an extension of the principle behind dread level 4: Dread Level 4: Begin conditioning your availability to your wife with her treatment of you. Your are busy now. You don't have time for a se… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 23/08/19 11:53 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 20, 2019I signed up for an MMA gym tonight. Ok, great but what about lifting? It is actionable in that it is an increase om frequency but not too much. No, it's not. Reaching that goal is completely conditional on the actions of another person. If I can't get two positive responses in a week then it is because I'm not holding frame. Holy covert contracts, Batman! You might fucking kill it here and get nothing. No sex. No validation. No whatever the hell you need. You need to come to terms with that, pro… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 23/08/19 03:32 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 20, 2019I haven't started implementing dread yet, as I don't think my SMV has made a noticeable improvement. What? Read the post on dread. DL 1 and 2 should be started simultaneously and immediately. (1) Start identifying and passing shit tests. (2) Create your MAP. Working out is in a bad place. I am a lazy fuck. I don't cook healthy food, I work out maybe twice a week, and I haven't found a gym since moving so I am just doing p90x in my living room. You know what needs to be done here. Do it. No excus… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 22/08/19 09:16 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 20, 2019I wake up at 5am to go to the gym or run. This means 9pm should be bedtime. 10pm is more of the goal. The kids don't go to sleep until 8pm. I'm tired. I want to LIFT to have the right body but finding time to hit the gym is killing my evening presence as an alpha worthy of screwing. I'm struggling with this too. My 3 kids (4, 2, and a newborn) just wipe my wife and I both out completely by the end of the day. One thing I've figured out is that it really comes down to priorities and how badly you… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 22/08/19 08:51 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 20, 2019something clicked at last that this is about me owning MY shit, being accountable for my goals, my decisions, my failures. Good. This is the first and arguably most important step. Until you take complete responsibility for your situation, you can't do jack shit about it. Started a modified SL 5x5 program Modified how? The point of SL5x5 is to take you from a point of zero strength or familiarity with weight training to a baseline where you can at least define your goals and your plans to achiev… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 22/08/19 06:17 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 20, 2019It will be a good two months before it hits the mark. Fluctuations in weight based on major changes in diet (e.g. going keto) will cause your early numbers to be crap. I have daily data on the sheet from May 28th on, so pushing three months at this point. Further, if you're not using a scale, your records are off. I don't understand what you mean by this. How would I take my weight without a scale? Do you mean a food scale? If so, I have been using one religiously. I have been meticulous about l… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 21/08/19 04:46 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 20, 2019I agree. I'll broach the subject this week. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 21/08/19 01:15 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 20, 2019The longer you put this off => the more you will need to deload => the less motivated you will be. It's an issue for sure. Things have been crazy with me going back to work and getting ready to host various family over the next few weeks. Once the first wave of our family arrive tomorrow, it should, paradoxically, calm down. I am expecting to be able to get back to a regular gym schedule this week. Are you sure about crossing "Stop being lazy" off your list? Absolutely sure. It's possible I have… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 20/08/19 07:15 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 20, 2019OYS #29 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 193.2 lb, 25.0% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 0M. Married 8 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 145 BP 95 ROW 75 OHP 65 DL 160. Readings: NMMNG (x3), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Body Lifting My confidence last week about my ability to make time for lifting was overblown. I lifte… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 20/08/19 02:09 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019So, early morning, upon wake up, no water, use the bathroom first every time, and don't weigh on mornings after a feast or drunkin-freakout. That's exactly what I do, except I weigh in daily no matter what. Gotta keep accountable! There's a very recent post in Askmrp - mrpthrowa (and others) have strong replies. Read that and incorporate the TDEE spreadsheet in your plan. I read the thread and have been using the TDEE 3.0 spreadsheet with daily data from May 28th (see my last OYS). It's giving m… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 19/08/19 01:18 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019The draught ended Friday night, so thankfully I don't need to go this route! | /r/MarriedRedPill | 18/08/19 11:35 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019I’m working hard not to raise my voice when they aren’t listening, but I have a long way to go here. I'm also struggling here. My 2 and 4 year old piss me off all the damn time. It's important to keep in mind that they're little kids and have practically zero neurons in their head dedicated to acting logically. You can't expect them to act rationally, it's just pure impulse 100% of the time. What's helped me most is the "No X until Y" technique from (I think) MAP. An immediate reward conditioned… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/08/19 07:06 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019I got a lot of initial shit tests from my wife about keto. I simply STFU, cooked my own meals, shared them with the family and the kids loved them. She is now on board, asking me daily to tell her what I want her to cook for dinner and she will cook it. She is looking for leadership and to be involved/included/lead so I need to do this. This was exactly my experience. Well done bringing her into your frame on this. RECESSION: Gentlemen, we have an inverted yield curve. I am focusing on the risk … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/08/19 06:51 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019I'm still very frustrated by the weight of the bench press which is still absurdly easy. Symmetric Strength also shows it as being weak compared to my lifts. Should I continue with weak lifts and hope it becomes a challenge in a month, or increase the weight by 30-40lbs and then by 5lbs each new time? I started the same way, and BP was by far the last lift to become challenging for me as I added weight week over week. I believe that's because it uses the smaller 5lb increments between sessions (… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/08/19 06:33 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019Using the username I use everywhere online now so chances are extremely high she's reading this as well. Congratulations, you've unlocked nightmare mode! To OP's wife: this is a self-help group for men attempting to better themselves and their relationships with the people they love. Please show him the same respect here as you would if he were in individual or group therapy by allowing him privacy and confidentiality. Going to the gym every day. Weights are, compared to others, quite low...but … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/08/19 06:14 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019Weight loss has been somewhat plateaued even though my BF% is still high (26%). I'm at 1800 calories - I went down to 1500 to try to speed things up but I think that was too low. Give keto a try and see if that helps break through. It is working wonders for me. Squat 225 - starting to get some lower back pain so I think I'm going to ease up on squats This might help. Relationship is meh - we go on and off - being closer, more talking, more sex for a few days at a time and then something happens … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/08/19 05:57 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019What's up is that she has zero libido postpartum (+breastfeeding) and I have no dread game yet. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/08/19 01:52 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019Keep an eye on the way you're feeling the next few weeks and familiarize yourself with the diagnostic criteria. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 15/08/19 12:45 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019Mostly a failure last week. I have been on autopilot. Mostly a failure. I have been withdrawn emotionally and more of a rock than an oak. Very low libido last week and didn’t care too much about initiating for sex. Consistent at the gym, but not much motivation. We cancelled plans for the weekend. I have no clear mission, and I don’t know what I want. I’ve been escaping into games on my phone. I don’t really know what I am doing. Sometimes (all the time?), I’m my own worst enemy. I probably need… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 10:03 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019The subscription ("Gold") is unnecessary, it doesn't add anything you actually need to lose weight. I did pay for the ad-free version of the phone app, which is thankfully just a one-time $3. Not necessary, but I really, really hate ads. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 09:33 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019This will have to be one of my main areas to focus on and get control of again. It's not as critical as the big 3: lift, sidebar, STFU. But longer term you will want to take control of the finances back if they are not being handled well. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 07:29 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019Remember feeling like it didn’t apply to me, probably a low self esteem thing. Given what you wrote, you're 100% a nice guy. Read it again. How do you go about having an actual conversation that’s emotionally laden? It’s only an argument after I feel attacked and get defensive. Fogging is your friend here. It takes two to create a heated conversation. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 07:25 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019I absolutely hated tracking too. I used MFP for years and would drop it after a few weeks every time. Honestly one of the worst apps I have ever used. I finally tried Cronometer when I started keto a few months ago and it's completely changed my view on tracking. It turns out I didn't hate tracking itself, MFP just made it horrible. Give it a try. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 07:21 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019"Ten Second Kiss". Not sure whose recommendation this was (SGM?) It's from MMSLP. I try to see all my dumb beta-butthurt/covert-contract responses like bad dialog choices in a RPG. Gives me a second to think, and then instead mentally scroll down to the option that says: "say nothing". I love this! Totally stealing it. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 05:31 PM |
| 5 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019I said before and Ill say it again that if you cant leave your woman on Monday and be balls deep in a new one by Friday, you suck. I'm going to frame this and put it on the wall. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 05:15 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019all you Chads Nobody shows up here because they are a "Chad". Maybe some get that way eventually, but for the most part, we're just faggots helping faggots like you. The wife took my apology and moved on, treating me like nothing happened. maybe I’m making progress. I'd agree with that assessment. I've noticed as I make progress that my fuckups are more easily forgiven and forgotten I’m down 30 lbs since Feb when I swallowed the pill, but I’m at a bit of a stall and I’m not working hard enough. … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 05:10 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019To be completely honest, I find myself wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. I have all the information at hand. I’ve read and keep reading regularly, and have been lifting, but I’ve had shit to own in these last 2 OYS posts out of 4. Do you honestly think you can undo 31 years of blue pill conditioning and beta behaviors in 4 weeks? This shit takes months, if not years, to fully digest and internalize. I'm six months in and I still fuck up all the damn time. Just keep faking it till you mak… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 04:57 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019have read the prerequisites but changed my focus recently Haven't read in a couple weeks. Will look through and pick up something to focus on. It's not clear, have you read just "Course Prerequisites" or the entire sidebar? | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 04:40 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019I lie a lot, mostly to myself but also to her and others. Mostly just little stories that shine me in a positive light. This is classic Nice Guy behavior. I noticed you haven't read NMMNG yet. It's the first book on the sidebar for a reason. Read it this week. This makes arguing with my wife difficult because I don’t exactly remember how something went or what was said, and she can remember action sequences and words from forever ago. If you're verbally sparring with your wife, you've already lo… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 04:37 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019I have not started SLX5 yet (Faggot) From Steel’s Guide to Married Red Pill (you have read it, right?): Lifting is not optional. Lifting is your foundation for what you are doing here. If you have been a fence sitter, reading the books, but not doing any lifting or taking any action in your life, you’ve done nothing. You have one job this week: find a gym and start lifting. It seems like you are planning on lifting at home. I would advise against that because getting out of the house makes you l… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/08/19 04:26 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019You hamstered shit for days about going to lift and spent how much time worrying and "laying groundwork"? Fuck man, it's not complicated - "I'm going to the gym, see you in an hour". I was trying to avoid rocking the boat given my wife's history of shit testing my time in the gym. Come to think of it, that's the real issue here. I'm afraid of what my wife will do and adjusting my behavior to avoid conflict. I discussed this last week but still have some work to do here for sure. This is classic … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 13/08/19 03:40 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019I'm skeptical of your numbers unless there's something in a past post that suggests you were run over by a truck or in a coma or something. 25.7% @ 5' - 8" & 196.4 - alongside a bench press of 95 lbs - fucking 95 lbs at nearly 200 lbs body weight - really (?) - did you leave off a fucking digit (?) - christ - sounds like a lot more than 26% body fat. I just did a 30% deload this week as suggested by the SL5x5 app coming off of 3 weeks of no lifting after my son was born. My prior bench press wor… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 13/08/19 02:56 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 13, 2019OYS #28 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 196.4 lb, 25.7% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 0M. Married 8 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 140 BP 95 ROW 75 OHP 65 DL 185. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Body Lifting I'm back in the saddle, baby. After way too long away from the iron temple, I lifted las… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 13/08/19 11:41 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 06, 2019That being said. If you can't have fun on an 8 week vacation your employer wants you to take... you might have other issues. This right here convinced me to take the leave. Who wouldn't want an extra 8 weeks of paid vacation? I agree that if I can't figure out how to make it enjoyable for everyone that says a lot about me. I'll be 10ish months into MRP by then so there is no excuse for not having an interesting life. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 08/08/19 11:46 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 06, 2019This was very helpful, thank you. You had them anyway. So no more excuses. You're right - it would be absolutely shameful to not do the best I can for my children. How a man is at home is who he really is. If you are a spectator in your family, you are a spectator in life. This makes total sense. I have been a spectator of my own life. Its course was scripted by my parents and society. I jumped through all their hoops: school, career, marriage, house, kids, the works. I need to define my mission… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 08/08/19 11:44 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 06, 2019It's really interesting how opinion is split here. Half of you are saying take the leave and make it the best you can. The other half are saying to do what I want, damn the consequences. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 07/08/19 02:32 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 06, 2019Ok, time for some real talk here. I never wanted kids to begin with. My wife has always, since we first met, been clear about wanting three kids. (Mission accomplished!) I was such a beta, so unable to assert myself, that I not only married someone who had a completely different view on this, but then gave her exactly what she wanted. Nobody knows this. I kept my mouth shut and tried to give her what she wanted. Oops. My bad. I'm trying the best I can, but I honestly don't enjoy spending time wi… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 07/08/19 02:28 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 06, 2019Thanks. I've read your post on taking your kids away more times than I care to admit! I have been taking my baby boy away several times a day under the guise of "giving her a break". Still working on coming up with cool shit to do with the older kids. I'm a boring lazy fuck is my big issue here. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 07/08/19 02:17 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 06, 2019That's one of my assertive rights (WISNIFG), sure. I just need to be comfortable facing the consequences of my choice. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 07/08/19 02:12 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 06, 2019Yup that was a total mistake. I should have just lied and said they give two weeks or something. I'm only now starting on my third week and I am gnawing my god damn leg off to get back to work. I am trying to make the best of it by owning manly shit around here instead of just playing backup mommy. The thought of eight weeks of this later on... I need to unfuck this by November when I would take the leave. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/08/19 04:09 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 06, 2019Why are you still afraid of your wife? I hate conflict and try to keep the peace at all costs. Classic nice guy behavior. I'm afraid to rock the boat. I need to ask myself, what's the worst that could happen? She leaves me? I am still working on getting over my fear of that. Read WISNIFG again. Not sure that would help. I have mastered the techniques in the book. It would probably be more helpful to re-read NMMNG if anything. You need to stand up for yourself. Grow a spine. Agreed. I've known th… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/08/19 04:05 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 06, 2019I'm the sole earner, she's a SAHM. My issue right now is that I promised her I would take the full paternity leave offered by my company, 8 weeks worth. So, I can either take a leave I don't want to take or break a promise I made and set off a shitstorm. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/08/19 03:52 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - August 06, 2019OYS #27 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 197.2 lb, 25.9% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 0M. Married 8 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 205 BP 140 ROW 110 OHP 95 DL 265. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen. Body Lifting I still haven't been back to the gym since baby was born two and a half weeks ago. I have chosen to own shit around the house i… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/08/19 01:20 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 30, 2019You have your priorities screwed up. You sound like my wife... :-) Seriously though, I know you're right. I broached the subject of going to the gym this morning and... it didn't go well. I am thinking this is a comfort issue for her at the moment. I'm trying to calibrate here as I am still having trouble distinguishing between shit tests and reasonable requests. I should have this down after 6 months of MRP, but I don't. How do you feel physically (aside from hunger)? Perfectly fine. I just nee… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 31/07/19 03:03 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 30, 2019Get a home gym set up. I've considered it. But going out of the house to go to the gym is not what holds me back. My gym is 10 minutes away, only costs $25/month, and I've never waited for equipment even once at the times I go. Plus there's the extra dread (level 3 IIRC) of getting out of the house without my wife on a regular basis. My not going is a failure to make myself a priority. Try breaking up your goals into things you can act on over the next week. Maybe I'm just dense from lack of sle… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 30/07/19 11:36 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 30, 2019OYS #26 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 200.5 lb, 26.6% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 0M. Married 8 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 205 BP 140 ROW 110 OHP 95 DL 265. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen. Body Lifting I have not been back to the gym yet since baby was born. My usual time was in the evening after kids were asleep, but baby has … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 30/07/19 11:55 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 23, 2019OYS #25 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 201.3 lb, 26.9% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 0M. Married 8 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 205 BP 140 ROW 110 OHP 95 DL 235. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen. Body Lifting I went on a Wednesday, then baby came and I haven't had a chance to go back yet. Will try to pick up soon. Diet Hunger has subs… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 23/07/19 02:46 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 16, 2019Great job on the weight loss bro! 30 lbs in a little over 5 months, that's almost 1-1/2 lbs a week. It's actually even faster than that because I only began seriously losing weight when I started keto on May 28th. I've lost almost 25 of those lbs in the last 7 weeks (over 3.5 lbs/week!). Of course it's easy when you start out on the border of morbidly obese, I fully expect the pace to slow down considerably as I approach a normal BF%. Still, I should have tried this diet years ago! This is good.… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 19/07/19 08:00 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 16, 2019Thanks. I need to remember to take my kids away. There are so many cool things in our city we haven't explored yet. Good idea on day gaming the moms too. It's good practice and would really help me build an abundance mentality. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 18/07/19 02:45 PM |
| 3 | MRP Audiobook RecommendationsI did almost all my sidebar reading while commuting. All of the sidebar is available as audio books except: MMSLP MAP SGM I converted MMSLP and MAP to audio book using text-to-speech software. It's not perfect, but it is listenable. SGM is pretty short so I just read it on my phone. As far as non-sidebar material, I'm currently reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It's not red pill per se, but the message is very consistent with MRP. I would highly recommend it so far. | /r/askMRP | 18/07/19 02:06 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 16, 2019OYS #24 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 203.9 lb, 27.5% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 3rd due this week. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 200 BP 140 ROW 110 OHP 90 DL 230. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power, The Red Queen. Body Lifting I hamstered about going to the gym on Wednesday. The discussion on my OYS post reinforced to me how important th… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/07/19 01:24 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Is this $1MM of net worth in legit equity? Or is it $1MM in 30 years after you pay off your mortgage and cars? $1MM in equity today. My assets (house, car, cash, investments) minus liabilities (mortgage, auto loans) as of last month end (I track NW monthly) come out to around that amount. Market has been very good lately. It shouldn't be important but you seem to have a hamster that traveled back in time to prevent a real frame ever developing. I'm not sure what you mean by this. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 15/07/19 03:08 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Totally agree. Reading back in my earliest few OYS, it's clear my mountain to climb is building frame. I have always had the tools I needed to build a fucking fantastic life right in front of me. I just need to get it through my thick, blue-pilled skull. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 15/07/19 01:17 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Guess what? That's debt. I'm not averse to "good debt". The house is 4% fixed for 30 years and cost only 2.5x annual income. The cars are 1.5% fixed for 6 years and could have been paid cash after selling our old house. But I figured I could do better putting it in the market. Calculated risks are totally worth it when, as you mentioned, you have confidence in your continuing earning power. That's enough on that, I agree we are not debating economics. I agree that hiring a nanny won't work. And … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 15/07/19 01:03 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Nailed it again. That's exactly how the conversation went: "I was thinking of taking 4 weeks of paternity, does that work for you?" I rolled over and showed my belly without even trying. Total lack of frame. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 15/07/19 12:54 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019One thing I’m not getting is: do you like where you’re at? Honestly it sounds like a shit job and situation for you too. I'll just quote my first OYS to avoid another accusation of post-hoc rationalization: But a previous boss contacted me out of the blue and offered me the regional lead on a high visibility new project he was just getting off the ground. Wife and I discussed it and we moved cross-country two years ago. It's my dream job; I make crazy money, people in the office respect me, and … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/07/19 03:09 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019That's awesome. Great example of the betas get rules, alphas get exceptions like /u/weakandsensitive said above. Guess I'm not as alpha at work as I thought. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/07/19 02:24 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019You're right, I'm full of shit. I wrote it that way for a reason - because that was the reality. I asked for 4, and was told no, take 3. No discussion, no compromise. I can see why your wife wouldn't think very much of you. I didn't think of it that way, but it makes total sense. Her shit testing this week wasn't about the leave, it was about the fact that my boss made me his bitch. She saw my weakness and felt the need to test me herself. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/07/19 08:27 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Thank you, this really helped to put things into perspective for me. it has been fantastic sending the last kid off in my early 50s and having time and money for adventures My wife and I actually regularly fantasize about the day we ship our youngest off to college (early 50s, like you) and can just pack it up and travel constantly like we used to before kids. If all goes well I will be financially independent by that point too, so work would be discretionary. In fact, I pity the indecisive guys… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/07/19 07:51 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019No, I got 4 weeks with my last child and was gnawing my leg off to get back to work by the end of it. What I left out of the OYS post in the interest in space was that I asked my boss for 4 weeks up front and the rest to be taken intermittently over the next few months. He asked me to reduce it to 3 weeks up front, then we looked at the policy and figured out the company doesn't allow intermittent paternity leave. Thus the compromise we arrived at. I'm well aware of that cognitive bias, but it d… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/07/19 07:35 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Thank you for the reality check. I haven't had one around here in too long. I'm not nearly as far along in building frame as I thought I was. I see that it's not really about the money. That's just my hamster squeaking. It's about my fear of the unknown, of change, of being alone. My fear that I can't conquer whatever shit life throws at me. That's what I need to get over. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/07/19 07:29 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019The thing is, I'm fine with it though. I don't actually want to be home for 8 weeks straight. I like my kids in moderation and I genuinely enjoy my job. As it is I'm trying to figure out how to break up the 8 weeks off the books so I don't have to take it in a solid block. If this was something I really wanted, you better believe I would have been ready to burn it all to the ground to get it. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/07/19 07:23 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Agreed, but I was out for the week and didn't have the opportunity to lift. I take none of it in and end up having to re-read it anyway. Posting here can take up a disproportionate amount of my time, which is why I have resisted the temptation Are you noticing a pattern here? If you don't want to do the work, that's fine. Just don't expect to get anywhere. How you spend your time is the purest expression of your priorities. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/07/19 07:18 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019So true. She's told me many times that she wants nothing from me if we get divorced. She's really not a materialistic person at all. I'm just hamstering "acceptable" reasons to be afraid of divorce instead of facing the real reason. The real reason is that I am afraid of the unknown, afraid of change, afraid I'll be alone forever. A truly high value man wouldn't give those a passing thought. I have a long way to go to become that man. At least I'm in the right place to do that here. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/07/19 06:55 PM |
| 3 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019It sounds like you're on the right track with all this. A mix of 3-4-5. On 3 - I don't currently have a go-to gym or enough weights at home to lift as heavy (and to exhaustion) as I should be. On 4 & 5 - I do dress up more, style my hair, cologne, brush teeth, deodorant - normal, easy stuff. I could be more consistent on gaming/kino with the wife. I do withdraw attention but still haven't found a local club to go to yet. I can only go to home depot/walmart looking for tools and parts so many tim… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/07/19 06:44 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Your story sounds really similar to mine. Posting in OYS is a great step towards holding yourself accountable for making progress. OYS point 1 - I think I've read enough and honestly just need to start implementing it all. Looks like you've finished the sidebar and more except for MAP, which is next on your reading list. I agree, you need to implement. She's a SAHM who doesn't like to cook or clean unless asked. So what does she do all day? Just play with the kids? What about when they're nappin… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/07/19 10:06 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019I agree with /u/tspitsatgp that keto is the way forward here. I've been doing it for two months now and it's hands down the easiest and most effective diet I've ever tried. I'm less hungry and thus less likely to cheat. Plus it's very compatible with lifting heavy in that you can easily hit your protein goals, since that's a lot of what you're eating anyway. As far as readings, what others have you gotten through? If you're falling off the wagon, perhaps you haven't fully swallowed the red pill?… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/07/19 09:44 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019And, no, your wife won’t realize how screwed she’d be. I feel like I already knew the answer to this, I just didn't want to admit it. What I should be taking away from all this is that: Divorce is not scary. If I am a high-quality man, I will be successful no matter what life throws at me. I need depend on no one else for my happiness. Divorce is always a possibility. I cannot control my wife's feelz, and feelz are by definition mercurial. The sooner I accept that risk is a part of any life wort… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/07/19 07:30 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Have got in a bunch of cardio though. Whyyyyyyy? With lifts that low you should be spending 100% of your gym time getting sweet sweet noob gainz. Struggling to make time to read with everything else on at the moment. Do you commute? Look into audiobooks. Building a plan for the wife to assist her with her self-esteem. Following on from last week's post, I've become increasingly convinced that this is a root of a lot of our currently troubles. No, it's you. If MRP has taught me anything it's that… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/07/19 07:01 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019You're right that I am both exaggerating the downside and downplaying the risk of divorce. Divorce is not the scary monster I think it is. But it is always a real risk, even for a high-quality man. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/07/19 05:27 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Good point. Am I wasting my life right now though? | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/07/19 03:01 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019I've been following your OYS posts from the beginning but have avoided commenting until now due to the... complexity of your situation. But I think I can finally add some value here. If you read my posts you'd know I think divorce is a horrible, no-good, rotten thing and nobody should ever do it. But damn man, even I think it's time to throw in the towel here. You have a bunch of mitigating factors working in your favor: As a SAHD and given your wife's temperment, you'd almost certainly get cust… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/07/19 10:15 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019I’ve done better not wasting time reading everything on reddit but I’ve neglected the theory/intellectual side of things for sure. Do you commute to work? Almost the entire sidebar is available in audiobook format and the ones that aren't can be converted from ebook to computer-generated audio. There's absolutely no reason you can't use this time to better yourself. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/07/19 09:28 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Eating is proving to be harder though. I'm struggling to get the amount of calories in every day. Drinking calories is easier than eating them. Now I don't mean crap like booze and soda. Juice (in moderation - it's still sugar), milk, protein shakes, etc. are your friends here. To make this easier I have decided to stop smoking, as that is never a bad decision anyway. Only on day 2 of doing so but it's a start. Keep it up! Quitting smoking is one of the best gifts you can ever give yourself. It … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/07/19 09:15 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Took a 4 week break from Reddit/MRP. I was super busy and felt like I was hitting diminishing returns for my time invested. Came back to see lots of quibbling in the “manosphere” that is frankly embarrassing. I do see value in keeping a weekly journal though, and this is the right place to do it for now. I had the same feeling of diminishing returns over the past few weeks but it turned out to be a lull and I realize I have a long way to go still. I agree that the discipline of committing to wee… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/07/19 09:06 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019the lack of an external stressor has left me un-focused and floundering Consider the analogy which gets tossed around here that women are like water: they take the shape of the vessel they are poured into. Well, the same can be true of you. If you're conforming to a particular situation and that situation disappears, splat. You're all over the floor. That's one of the (many) benefits of frame / being your own mental point of origin. You hold yourself together instead of something else holding yo… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/07/19 08:47 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019This is all very positive... but you have no mission. You need to find a mission and make it your top priority. Take time out to think about what you want, what are the shortfalls that need to be filled There's a ton posted on MRP about mission, I'll spend some time reading it. The book extreme ownership and jocko podcast may help with your laziness. The podcasts seem like a huge time sink (2 hrs x 178 episodes), I'll add the book to my reading list. I found that once I got busy the ssri meds we… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/07/19 08:10 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019Fear of being alone, obviously. It's clear that I have not yet internalized an abundance mentality. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/07/19 07:16 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019I just agreed that we had a good 20 years but people grow apart and we don’t have kids so let’s split the money 50/50 and go our own way. I envy your situation. With soon to be 3 little ones at home and a net worth of almost $1MM in a community property state I stand to lose a lot in divorce. Both monetarily (somewhat important) and in loss of control over my ability to protect my children (more important). Sure I can still call her bluff, but if she raises me, I'm really over a barrel. That's w… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/07/19 06:51 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019You shouldn't negotiate with terrorists. I was literally thinking this line as we were talking. The more I think about it, the more I realize that my fear of divorce is damaging in multiple ways: it is a DLV because I am not OI and have a scarcity mentality it puts me in her frame because she is the gatekeeper of the relationship it gives her an "I win button" to use any time she wants to manipulate me I need to kill this fear for so many reasons. And the next time she plays the nuclear card, I'… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/07/19 06:44 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 09, 2019OYS #23 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 205.4 lb, 27.8% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 3rd due end of July. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 190 BP 135 ROW 110 OHP 85 DL 230. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power. Body Lifting I got a vicious case of hemorrhoids right after last week's OYS which prevented me from doing much. I finally started lifting… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/07/19 02:32 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - July 02, 2019OYS #22 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 210.1 lb, 28.9% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 3rd due end of July. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 215 BP 150 ROW 125 OHP 100 DL 260. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power. Body Lifting I only lifted once this week. I could give you reasons why, but that would just be my hamster squeaking. I will do better th… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 02/07/19 12:59 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 25, 2019OYS #21 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 211.0 lb, 29.2% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 210 BP 150 ROW 125 OHP 97 DL 260. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP (x2), TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power. Body Lifting I lifted only twice this week. More fighting/discussions with the wife ate up a ton of time this weekend. Deloaded on both squat a… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 25/06/19 06:56 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 18, 2019Fucked up bad things happen if you go cold turkey. Been there, done that. Many times. I'm currently on Celexa 20mg and have a pill cutter. I'm going to try a slow taper over the next six weeks, spending two weeks each at 15mg (alternate 20 and 10), 10mg, and 5mg (10 every other day). I'm going to keep close track of my moods to make sure I'm not relapsing into depression. If I do relapse, I'll back off and try again in a few months when I'm further along. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 19/06/19 03:37 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 18, 2019OYS #20 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 214.2 lb, 29.7% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 235 BP 145 ROW 140 OHP 95 DL 255. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP (x2), The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP, TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power. Body Lifting I lifted three times this week. I had my third consecutive failure on both squat and barbell row last night so I will be doing my first… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 18/06/19 02:04 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019Don't turn it into validation seeking behavior. I'm not sure what validation I could receive from commenting. I am doing it to: solidify my understanding of sidebar material by applying it to others' situations give back to the community because I'm getting a lot of value from MRP I get the sense from some of your comments that you think your parents divorce really messed you up as a kid and that you are afraid of doing that to your own kids. I might be wrong though. Ding ding ding, we have a wi… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/06/19 09:20 PM |
| 3 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019I need to start with some of the Game books, as I'm weak in that area. I enjoyed Day Bang because, unlike most PUA material, it doesn't revolve around nightlife. I could imagine myself running day game if I wanted to. Her main complaint lately is the old "Lack of Emotional Connection", which I've seen some of you guys posting about lately. This post helped me. Throw in a half fifth of whiskey a day drinking problem, and some lingering mental health issues, and you can imagine why I call it a dum… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/06/19 09:24 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019I will post in the OYS weekly from now on to report progress. Awesome, I look forward to seeing you back next week. At the moment, we are trying for baby #2. We both want it. Does this really seem like a good time? You're unemployed and staring down the barrel of a potential divorce. Since reading a bit of the MRP materials Which ones? She still breastfeeds nearly 3 years in and regularly complains about how she feels “touched out” by our kid. Yeah, that's gone on long enough. Kid should have tr… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/06/19 08:55 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019Joined the gym in February 2019 and have been going to the Iron Temple 3x/week without missing a session. In barely 4 months, my body is starting to change. Awesome! What are lifts at right now? The issue I have right now is this: eating more makes my belly grow as well. Any advice?? Alternate bulking and cutting. Bulk to gain muscle (and as a side effect, BF). Cut to lose the BF. I'm not an expert here, but those are the terms you should be Googling. I started tracking my calories/macros, but I… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/06/19 08:32 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019No desire to do any of that. I don't care much about sex right now. I'm blowing off things I think I should be doing. It sounds like you're coasting in every part of your life right now. That might be fine short term, but longer term there are only two directions you can be heading: up or down. Which way do you want to be going? | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/06/19 08:03 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019Micros are really hard to measure, but I take plenty of minerals and electrolytes. Cool, it sounds like you have a good handle on this. Just wanted to make sure you weren't doing something stupid. I would suggest using Cronometer to track food, it has an excellent database including all the micros. I find it really helpful for hitting my electrolytes on keto. I'm get less pulled muscles, lifting heavier weight, and getting better soreness (a good all over ache that lasts a day instead of either … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/06/19 04:05 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019I felt awful about the whole thing because shit associated with my job was starting to make my family miserable. So to address my guilt, I tried to make her happy through supplication and asking “what do you want”. Never feel guilty for putting a roof over your family's head and dinner on the table. You gotta do what you gotta do. As far asking "what do you want", I'm quickly coming to realize that women want a man that "just gets it". This is the same reason why we always hear "don't talk about… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 09:59 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019Once when I initiated recently she said ‘I can’t do that unless I’m drunk’. I've seen this a bunch of times on here. "Every unhappy wife is a rape victim". I’m not against leaving if that’s what it takes to have a healthy sex life. This is about so much more than sex. You should be telling yourself, "I’m not against leaving if that’s what it takes to achieve my mission." | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 09:31 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019I’m looking for good sources of nutritional information so I can see where I am lacking. I switched a few weeks back from tracking food in MFP to Cronometer and the data quality is leaps and bounds better. It's quicker to use too because you don't have to sift through mountains of user-entered garbage. I have a work trip at the end of June I haven’t told her about yet. I am still concerned about her “being mad at me”, when I know that waiting will only make this worse. Rip the bandaid off. That … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 09:03 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019Maybe 900 Cal Are you tracking your micronutrients? At this level, especially with keto, I'd be concerned about electrolytes and shit. And are you getting at least 1 g/lb lean body mass per day of protein? In 8 weeks I dropped 22 lbs, and my bench went from < 135 to 240. I think I put on at least 6 lbs of muscle. You can only gain ~2 lbs muscle per month from what I've read. And now that I switched to nSuns from SL, I feel like gaining is easier. How are you finding it? I'm not thrilled with how… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 08:55 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019I'm sure that after being cheated on, many will say I should leave my wife. At the time, yes you probably should have, but that ship sailed long ago. Are you really and truly over it? Or is this something which will always be a splinter in the back of your mind? That will inform whether your goal is to stay or (eventually) go. That evening she got pretty drunk How much does she drink? Would you consider her an alcoholic? I need to be more social and practice initiating conversations with strange… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 08:16 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019You conveniently left out your sexual history prior to 2 years ago. It might not be purely medical depending on how long it's been going on for. Still, the stay plan is the go plan. Work the higher levels of dread game. You'll get what you want. It's up to your wife to decide if she's the one who will give it to you. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 07:38 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019I'm a trainwreck in a whole different class of fucked up than most of you. Join the club. We're all here for a reason. Have you seen /u/00Pi's OYS posts? His flair is literally "Trainwreck" and nothing I read here holds a candle to that. For my next 42-days, my targets are: 1RM- SQ305 DL355 OHP170 BP260 & lose 14 lbs. So you're going to be cutting over 2 lbs per week and increasing your DL 1RM by almost 10 lbs per week? I'm a relatively novice lifter and you clearly know your situation better th… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019She set to check up with Doctor and has another appointment with doctor at the end of the month. So you'll just have to wait and see. I would cool it and work on my dread game until then. It's very possible this is all just a hormonal issue. I Just have not gone there .. Do I ? The answers you seek are all in that post, re-read it until your eyes bleed. Follow the steps, making sure to take sufficient time at each level. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 06:36 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019Wife, (52) my wife is not in the mood with me or anyone else How do you know she's not in the mood with anyone else? Do you know whether she masturbates? Any suspicion of cheating? Assuming you are certain she's not getting her sexual needs met elsewhere, I wonder if your wife's age has something to do with it. If she is post-menopausal it's possible that some medical issue is tanking her libido. Have you ruled that out? Has anyone here done all of this, where it did not phase your wife/partner … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 06:16 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019This is pure gold, thank you. I can really tell the difference when I go back to the gym after 1 or 2 days off vs 3+ days off and I hate losing ground like that. Anything that can help maintain what I'm building while I work out other shit in my life is awesome in my book. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 05:56 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 11, 2019OYS #19 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 217.0 lb, 30.5% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 230 BP 135 ROW 140 OHP 95 DL 250. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG (x2), The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP, TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power. Body Lifting I only lifted once this past week, on Thursday. It sucks and I am upset about it. This was due to first, my wife wanting to spend more time … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 11/06/19 01:59 PM |
| 13 | What’s your “walking around” Dread Level in your marriage/ LTR?I would say 6. I don't see these as any different from being a high value man (which you are, right?): Dread Level 1: Learn to recognize and start passing Shit Tests. Dread Level 2: Develop an action plan to improve the major areas of your life. Dread Level 3: Begin to build a life apart from your wife. Dread Level 4: Begin conditioning your availability to your wife with her treatment of you. Dread Level 5: Upgrade your clothes and start dressing ‘up’ more of the time. Dread Level 6: Begin to s… | /r/askMRP | 07/06/19 05:32 PM |
| 3 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 201940/60 stock/bond is laughably conservative for a 40 year horizon. Moving up the risk/reward curve would easily allow one to bump up that WR. It seems my favorite blog series on the subject is still going strong at 31 posts. They have spent a lot of time analyzing this from every angle and it's worth reading in full. IIRC, the one sentence summary is that it depends on a ton of factors, but generally 3-3.5% is safe for most people. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 08:27 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019And so what's the point here? You don't know what is and isn't going to damage your kids. Correct, none of us can ever know the outcome of roads not taken. We can't predict the future. But we can learn from the collective experiences of others. Anecdotes, like the one you gave about your father's weight issues, are just studies with a sample size of 1. If I'm going to try to predict the outcome of a particular course of action, I'd rather gather as many experiences as possible in making that pre… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 07:51 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019Best part, a coworker who I get along with works out there too, I'm hoping this is an opportunity to add a social element to my workout, get to know some guys at the gym. I've found that with wireless headphones and audiobooks, lifting becomes an escape for me. How can you be social and wear headphones at the same time? Headphones are the universal symbol for "don't talk to me". I pass shit tests, but I'm not good at identifying them as they happen, so I could pass these much smoother with some … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 07:40 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019I am a porn addict. I will be giving up porn for at least six months. I have seen mixed reviews on the effects of noporn / nofap, so I will reevaluate for myself after those six months. It's not clear to me whether you are planning on going nofap. I was similarly porn addicted when I started and went back and forth on this. I decided to stop using pon but continue masturbating as necessary. The only real benefit to nofap that I could find from an MRP perspective is that it will increase your nee… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 07:10 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019It’s the exact opposite of Owning Your Shit. Well, it depends. To me, OYS is taking actions that further your mission. Is your mission to please everyone at work? Or is work simply a means to making progress on your mission? Only you can answer that. I don’t think I have the ability to pull this off well even if I wanted to. Fair enough, you know your limitations best. I would suggest at least skimming 48 Laws of Power if you haven't yet. It completely changed my view of office politics. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 06:54 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019Plan is to FIRE by the time I'm 45 with a withdrawal rate of 2.5%, 100k min a year I was deep into planning for FIRE a few years back. Devoured r/financialindependence, all the major blogs, podcasts, etc. I learned everything there was to learn, got a job I enjoy much more, and calmed down a bit (SR is more like 20% instead of 60%, still on track to FIRE at 50). From what I remember though, 2.5% is very conservative. The 4% rule might be dicey, but I haven't seen any empirical evidence supportin… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 06:22 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019MISSION: Return to being the awesome, successful MAN with huge potential I was before I got married So your mission is to be a ~20 year old? Fuck that. I guarantee you're looking at things through rose colored glasses. Your SMV potential now is much better than it was then. Aim higher. Last week I told her that I was no longer interested in fucking a corpse and would not be accepting starfish sex. Let me suggest another course if all you get right now is starfish. Don't turn it down, in fact ini… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 05:00 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019A few things in my space went sideways because I wasn’t giving them enough proactive attention and that’s entirely on me, even though my manager seems to think it’s on my employees. What's wrong with that? If you read 48 Laws of Power, Greene would argue that you should take credit for successes and ensure others take the fall for failures. As long as you learn from the failure I don't see an issue here. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 04:48 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019She has shut down but I'm handling what I can without her having to talk them. It irritates me that she can't adult. She's a reflection of you. If you've been a drunk captain in the past, don't expect her to own her shit. Things will change if you're setting a good example (which it seems you are now) but it takes time for her to come around. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 03:54 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019failed to be disciplined enough to stick with anything until now. You're on the right track. There's a reason the veterans say to post in OYS: it keeps you accountable and gives you the feedback you need. Posting every week without fail has been tremendously helpful for me. Going full keto and IF next week. Start today! No hamstering about it. Read the r/keto FAQ, it tells you literally everything you need to know. I just started and it has been fantastic for me. I don't know what this is but it… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 03:43 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019I'm happy to have my mind changed on this point. In fact, it would probably be better for me personally because "what about the kids?" is absolutely on my mind when I weigh the pros and cons of staying married. Do you have any evidence that divorce is not harmful to children? | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/06/19 02:25 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019Yup, I figured that one out last night. After a while of listening I was getting hungry so I told her, "I'm going to start dinner, you're welcome to continue the conversation while I do." She bitched about how I was telling her versus asking her, so I humored her by somewhat sarcastically asking, "OK, would you like to continue this conversation while we make dinner?" This morning I got a text from her that she was looking at flights to take her and the kids back to our home state for a while. S… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/06/19 04:47 PM |
| 0 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019Maybe don't blame your parents divorce for your problems. I spent most of my twenties blaming my psychological issues on my parents' divorce. It really did fuck me up at the time. Would I have had a smoother childhood and young adulthood had they stayed together? Who knows. My point was not that nobody should ever get divorced because of the children, that's patently absurd. My point was that if there is a decent chance to salvage the situation, he owes it to the kids to try. Divorce is harmful … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/06/19 04:43 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019I tried it last night and got the exact response you said; "I'm just a blow up doll to you!" This didn't shorten the conversation, and the shit testing is still ongoing. I think the mere fact that I'm willing to entertain hours of this shit is itself a shit test. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/06/19 04:04 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019I tried using kino several times with a mind to escalate but she jerked away and told me not to touch her each time. She is not receptive to my touch most of the time outside of bedtime, except for the morning after I fuck her really well. But especially when she's pissed about something, it's like touching a rabid dog the way she snaps at me. It doesn't stop me from resetting and trying every day but damn it's annoying. That post is good by the way, I can't believe I've never read it! | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/06/19 12:10 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019You need to focus. Just as a simple example, you're reading three books at once. That's a recipe for not getting a deep understanding from any of them. As far as budgeting, it can be a rabbit hole. Here are a couple points to consider: It is much more powerful to increase income than reduce expenses. You can only cut so much, but your earning potential is theoretically unlimited. Do you have any side hustles? Tracking your expenses with fine-grained categories takes longer than with coarse-grain… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/06/19 09:56 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019I'd like to hear more about why you're thinking of blowing things up. If it's all about sex, which is my best guess from your post, then I'm going to echo the other commenters. Have you followed the timeline of the 12 steps of dread? I somehow doubt it. Notice that the FMOFY talk is dread level TEN. If you haven't gone through all the levels systematically and turned yourself into a high-value man, then you're just Rambo. Despite what he might think, nobody fucks Rambo. There are two reasons it'… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/06/19 07:10 PM |
| 3 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019Binary thinking is your enemy here. You can most likely take steps towards it during sex without actually going whole hog. Wait until you're both really into things (high immersion), then just start talking dirty as if the role play is happening. It doesn't need to make logical sense. Just start planting the seed, and if she cums during this all the better as far as associating the role play with sexual pleasure. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/06/19 04:33 PM |
| 3 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019However, I don’t know how to bridge the gap from where we are to making it a reality. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t watched the video and I’m confident if I never bring it up again it would not happen. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m badgering her, I want to keep it fun, not like a chore she has to do. Any suggestions here? Women are generally submissive sexually, don't expect her to take any initiative. Sometimes, my wife will tell me "we're definitely not doing anal tonight" completely unpr… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/06/19 03:10 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019I’m curious as to how you live a life unrelatable to anybody else. Well, you have us internet strangers! Seriously, though. Think of it like religion. Could you get along with someone of a different religion? I'm guessing the answer is yes. Maybe they do some things that you don't agree with, but I bet you wouldn't get frustrated over their illogical behavior. Just pretend everyone around you is an adherent of this wacky new religion called bluepillism. Sure, its practices make no sense, but the… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/06/19 02:00 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - June 04, 2019OYS #18 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 220.6 lb, 31.2% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 225 BP 135 ROW 140 OHP 90 DL 245. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG, The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP, TWOTSM, SGM, 48 Laws of Power. Body Lifting I lifted two times this week because I felt like crap the first few days of keto. My wife's resistance has finally evaporated. She still makes a … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/06/19 01:48 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 28, 2019But if his wife loses some weight along the way with keto, that's a win for him! I wonder which of them will stick to it longer. She's not doing keto herself, she's just never been a big fan of starches (rice, pasta, bread, etc.). So she is more than happy to drop them from the menu since she mostly just served them for me and ate token amounts. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 29/05/19 08:38 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 28, 2019Thanks for all the advice. I really need to feel better rested to make further progress. you are going to feel like a bag of smashed assholes eating like that Fantastic imagery! Hopefully I can avoid the worst of the keto flu, the main tips seem to be supplementing electrolytes (sodium, potassium, magensium) and drinking way more water than you think you need. Lose 70lbs Sleep is one of the many, many reasons I want to lose weight. Fixed wake up time I wake up between 6:30-7:00 depending on when… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 28/05/19 08:11 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 28, 2019OYS #17 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 227.5 lb, 32.9% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 215 BP 130 ROW 135 OHP 105 DL 240. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG, The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP, TWOTSM, SGM. Body Lifting I lifted three times this week as planned. Things are getting real now. I failed for a third time on OHP so I am deloading and will bust through the plateau for s… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 28/05/19 03:16 PM |
| 3 | 60 DoD 2019: Finish lineHere are my initial goals and progress towards each: Lifting: lift 3x every week; complete SL5x5; find and transition to intermediate training program I lifted mostly 2x per week due to the conflicts with my wife detailed in my OYS posts - these should be in the past now. I am still progressing nicely in SL5x5 so keeping up with it until I plateau across the board. Eating: stop using fat logic; track every day; target TDEE-500 with 40/40/20 macros I failed a bunch of times at getting going with … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 28/05/19 01:21 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 21, 2019This sounds like tons of fun! I've mostly been a passive observer of their play, or a participant in whatever they decide to do, but never a leader of the play. I'm going to try leading the interaction with some of these ideas and come up with my own too. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 22/05/19 05:10 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 21, 2019You want to go to the gym. She says no, you should be home working on the relationship. You cave. Nice guy, no boundaries, lack of assertiveness. I went on Thursday despite her screaming at me. I didn't go Sat-Mon because I was sick (though I probably should have gone anyway as discussed). I will be going tonight for sure. I don't think I still have an assertiveness problem, but maybe I'm missing something. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 21/05/19 08:31 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 21, 2019Reduce training volume when stressed or mildly sick, but don't skip workouts. That seems to be the consensus. Even if you can't do the full workout at least you preserve the habit. And that is the most important part anyway. Do you have a learning disability, or are you just stubborn? This made me laugh. I knew I would get a response like this. It's perfectly clear calorie counting is not a long-term solution for me right now. A change is as good as a rest. I don't understand, could you clarify?… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 21/05/19 07:33 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019I could have gone last night if I really pushed myself. I have noticed that when I go consistently, the resistance goes away. When I take three or more days off, I resist going back again. I will fight this impulse. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 21/05/19 04:03 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019Totally agreed. I probably should have gone to the gym even while sick, even if I just sat in the car there for an hour. Just to prove the point that there is no stopping this. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 21/05/19 03:19 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 21, 2019OYS #16 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 228.2 lb, 33.0% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 200 BP 120 ROW 130 OHP 105 DL 235. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG, The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP, TWOTSM, SGM. Body Lifting I went on Thursday despite my wife's protests and tantrums and had a great session. I was planning to go on Saturday or Sunday but I caught the latest plague the … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 21/05/19 03:07 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019The cycle goes like this Thanks, this breaks it down in a way the sidebar readings haven't for me. Passing an individual shit test is touched on in a couple of the readings, but I can't think of any place where this broader cycle of progressively amplified shit testing is covered. This is why MRP is so useful. say something cocky I'm usually pretty overconfident and quick with comebacks (I watched a ton of standup as a teenager) and so C&F is a natural fit for me, but I'm drawing a blank here. A… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/05/19 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019being a high value man doesn't mean doing everything she wants. It means doing everything you want. This gets to the heart of it. Choreplay doesn't work. Good job holding frame through it. Keep on doing that. This is her shit testing you harder as your frame gets stronger. She'll keep on doing this with increasing intensity until the main event. I already botched things the last two nights. Tuesday evening we had a long discussion where she circled around wanting to get separated and how I wasn'… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/05/19 03:20 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019It was stuff that does need to get done. One of the two things was time sensitive and I did it later that night after I got back from the gym. The other was a minor house issue and I've made it a point not to do it yet so as to demonstrate that I am not at her beck and call. It's on my to-do list with a low priority. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/05/19 02:28 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019You worry too much about what she thinks. So true, it's a DLV. Why are you going to the gym? Is it because it's important to you or because a bunch of random guys on the internet told you to? At first, it was because Internet strangers said it might be a good idea and I was fresh out of those. Now, I do it because it feels good and right. I enjoy the post-workout feeling of blissful exhaustion, the accomplishment of seeing more and more weight on the bar, and knowing I am taking charge of my hea… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 15/05/19 05:43 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019Thanks, this is a good point to keep in mind. I don't think I've seen it explicitly mentioned in any of the posts on STFU, but it makes total sense once you think about it. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/05/19 08:12 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019Yes, she is being very smart about it. She is supporting my going to the gym with her words, but her actions speak very differently. She doesn't want to lose her plowhorse. The way for me to win is to hold frame and don't give an inch. I know when baby #3 comes she is going to push hard for me to stop going altogether. I need to establish my boundary now while I have a stronger position. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/05/19 04:51 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019Seems like threatening separation/divorce is part of her schtick every time she is mad. Yes, this is something that has gone on for our entire relationship. She figured out early on it was an "I win" button she could smash whenever she felt like it. MRP is helping me immensely in this regard. In response, I casually mentioned that her younger sister would probably get her room if she left. I suppose dread is the MRP analogue to this. Her younger competition would get me if she left! | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/05/19 04:48 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019I agree, that was where I fucked up. I should have thanked her for reminding me of the crap she wants done, let her know I would take care of it, and left. No need for bitchy eye rolls. I agree this will all blow over soon, as long as I don't continue fucking up. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/05/19 04:44 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019Definitely not happening, I can assure you that. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/05/19 04:39 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019If she wants a separation for a month to think about what she wants I’d be at my lawyers office. Ah, that wasn't clear, I'll edit it. She said we should separate for a month so I could figure out what I want. Or you could tell her to get the fuck out of your house and leave your kids with you. In their home. I told her she's free to leave if she feels she needs time apart, I don't need it. Of course she didn't take me up on it. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/05/19 03:01 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 14, 2019OYS #15 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 226.5 lb, 32.6% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 4M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 195 BP 120 ROW 130 OHP 105 DL 230. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG, The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP, TWOTSM, SGM. Body Lifting Once again I went twice instead of three times this week. My son's birthday was this weekend and my mother came to visit for it, so it has been insanely busy. On … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/05/19 02:36 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 07, 2019Thank you for the vote of confidence! I'm only on 20mg celexa (a "baby dose" according to my doc) so it shouldn't take that long to taper off. I'm going to wait for my mood to stabilize and then get started. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 10/05/19 09:48 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 07, 2019I ended up stopping because I was like 360 pounds I have wondered occasionally if my weight issues were due to SSRI usage. I've avoided trying to blame them because it's not helpful. But I feel like I'm rowing upstream, so to speak. I walk outside now on a sunny day and realize how lucky I am to be alive and able to do the things I love. I can't remember the last time I felt like that. I honestly forgot it was possible to feel that way until you mentioned it. You went cold turkey? Fuck that take… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 10/05/19 02:19 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 07, 2019That's a great idea, thank you. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 10/05/19 02:06 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 07, 2019If I knew then what I knew now there’s no chance I’d take them. What caused you to stop taking them? I am genuinely curious about your experience and what research you've seen that changed your mind. You can take my advice or not - feel free not to listen to an internet stranger. But take a good look at why you want to go back on them because to me it sounded like you were throwing in the towel because you were too lazy to do the work - am I wrong? Maybe but probably not. If you've been there, y… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 08/05/19 08:12 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 07, 2019Damn, so true. It's the same idea as with kids. Once you make up your mind, you don't change it. You can't appear to be influenced by their tantrums or they just become worse. Oldest child in the house, indeed. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 08/05/19 07:48 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 07, 2019She shit tested you and you completely failed. I agree, this was a shit test. I am still having trouble distinguishing them from reasonable requests. In this case, I misidentified a shit test as a reasonable request. In other cases, I have misidentified a reasonable request as a shit test (aka Rambo). This requires more calibration on my part. I think it would be better if you thought about how you could've handled that differently If I had recognized it as a shit test then I would have used AM.… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 08/05/19 05:14 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 07, 2019I'm really of two minds on this topic. One the on hand, I have struggled with clinical depression for my entire adult life, and SSRIs have made a huge difference in my quality of life. I have tried talk therapy multiple times and it's just not effective for me personally. I have tried quitting SSRIs before and the difference in my mood and behavior is like night and day. Re-read my OYS posts and you'll notice a clear shift in my tone for the worse over the past few weeks. On the other hand, bein… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 08/05/19 04:28 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - May 07, 2019OYS #14 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 227.0 lb, 32.7% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 3.5M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 185 BP 115 ROW 125 OHP 100 DL 225. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG, The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP, TWOTSM, SGM. Body Lifting I lifted at the hotel last week and now once back at home. Wow, the difference a good gym makes with all the right equipment makes. I'm getting increasingly sor… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 07/05/19 04:17 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 30, 2019No, thankfully I learned a long time never to apologize or thank a woman for sex. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 01/05/19 05:56 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 30, 2019Good point. Still, I don't like it. It's really unsatisfying having things end so soon. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 01/05/19 03:30 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 30, 2019Thanks, the Amazon preview gave me enough confidence to put Resurrecting Sex on the to-read list. It's a shame about Passionate Marriage, but I really don't want to risk getting a physical book. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 30/04/19 11:23 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 30, 2019Yes, I should be cutting back on sleep in preparation for baby anyway. With the first, I overprepared for baby. With the second, I was just about on target. With this one... let's just say nothing has gotten done so far. No nursery, no name, no birth plan, no nothing. This is a great place to start owning my shit using those great oak moves. If I can do it, so can you. This reminds me of the line which comes up a couple times in NMMNG, "What one man can do, another man can do." It's such an obvi… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 30/04/19 11:13 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 30, 2019Exactly. This self-deception appears to be a recurring theme in my OYS posts. BTW, I really enjoy the beta shit goblin post every time I've read it. I used to be big into cognitive behavioral therapy as a way of controlling my depression. One of the big takeaways from CBT is fighting negative self-talk. This is much more evocative way of describing the exact same concept. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 30/04/19 11:08 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 30, 2019I prefer going late rather than early for several reasons which are irrelevant here. What is relevant is that it is my decision to prioritize how I do. I want to make lifting a priority, so I will. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 30/04/19 11:02 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 30, 2019The more consistent you are on your lifts, the more energy you will have. Find a better balance so you don't have to compromise on the gym. I have noticed a difference by the end of my 2x weeks versus my 3x weeks both in terms of the difficulty of the lifts and my energy levels. Finding a better balance is easy to say but has proven hard for me to find. The overarching theme of my OYS last week seemed to be that having a young family is a difficult and challenging time in a man's life. The core … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 30/04/19 08:43 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 30, 2019Wow, what a perfect example of lack of frame. I hadn't thought of it that way, but you're absolutely right. Giving a shit about what others think is a beta mindset. Doing what one wants, adherence to one's mission - that's alpha. Thank you for pointing this out. It's actually pretty funny. Next time, help put the kids down, then go out to eat by yourself and enjoy a free night. In hindsight, yes, it was funny. A true oldest-kid-in-the-house moment on her part. Either your response or just sittin… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 30/04/19 07:09 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 30, 2019OYS #13 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 221.9 lb, 31.5% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 3.5M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 175 BP 110 ROW 125 OHP 100 DL 215. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG, The Game, Pook, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP, TWOTSM. Body Lifting Still having trouble making it to the gym 3x a week. Doing more around the house is leaving me fucking wiped at the end of the day. Not a good excuse, I know. I need… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 30/04/19 11:39 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 23, 2019Yup, I still have a ways to go before they fully trust in my leadership. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 25/04/19 10:51 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 23, 2019This is great perspective, thank you. If you try to do everything by yourself (extreme ownership, aka choreplay), you will end up either angry and resentful (unattractive) or with giant covert contracts (also unattractive). This is exactly the situation I am currently dealing with. I'm having trouble finding the middle ground between doing everything myself and pushing all the responsibility on her. I see now that that's one of the duties of a captain - knowing the abilities of your crew and app… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 25/04/19 07:51 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 23, 2019I have been extremely averse to putting in effort in any aspect of my life, i.e. lazy. Allow me to victim puke for a moment, if you will. I think it will explain my current predicament. I did absolutely no chores growing up. None. Never washed a single dish, vacuumed, etc. I was responsible for shoveling after it snowed but that was it. The first time I ever did laundry was when I went to college, someone had to show me how to do it. I didn't even pick out my own clothes for school until 11th gr… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 24/04/19 02:59 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 23, 2019Damn man, do you have a library of helpful posts for every situation? Seems like every time I have an issue you are there with a link that has a concrete strategy for solving the problem. Everyone in the ship can bitch about their hard work except the captain. If you are bitching about how much work you have, you aren’t acting like a leader. Is this more work? Fuck yeah. But that is what makes you the man and the leader. Stop bitching and just do it. These quotes are gold and I know this is the … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 23/04/19 09:14 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 23, 2019This? It's definitely a lot more change than I expected. It looks awful and gives me a newfound respect for what she's going through. I need to be a more understanding leader. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 23/04/19 04:20 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 23, 2019OYS #12 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 225.1 lb, 32.3% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 3.5M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 165 BP 105 ROW 125 OHP 100 DL 205. Readings: NMMNG (x2), WINSIFG, The Game, BoP, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP. Body Lifting I failed on both the overhead press and barbell row this past week. Here's hoping I can break through and continue progressing this week. Part of the problem is that I have h… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 23/04/19 03:42 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 16, 2019OK, I think I get it now. I was using food as a way to cope with hunger or negative emotions. I do like the idea of just fucking counting calories every day, it sounds a lot simpler. I'm going to see how long I can go without breaking the streak. Make it a game - that can be my habit. Two days so far! | /r/MarriedRedPill | 17/04/19 02:46 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 16, 2019Have you read this? You need to change your system. That starts with your mindset. Are you a healthy man in control of his own destiny? Or are you a fat fuck wishing you could be a healthy man? Somehow I missed your post, thanks for linking it. So I see the logging habit I want to create should look like this: Cue - want to eat food Craving - desire to lose weight Response - decide whether it fits it my calorie budget and if so, log it Reward - lose weight It is so simple to break this down into… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/04/19 08:32 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 16, 2019The victim mentality has no place here. You are incapable of logging right now, so pick another strategy. Incapable. That's an interesting choice of words. There's nothing physically preventing me from logging. Just reading that one word gave me a kick in the ass. You are absolutely right to call me out on my victim mentality. However, the solution is not for me to run away from what I should be doing. That's just continuing to be a victim of my own failure mindset. I have been choosing to fail … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/04/19 07:20 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 16, 2019OYS #11 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 227.0 lb, 32.7% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 3.5M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 155 BP 100 ROW 120 OHP 95 DL 195. Readings: NMMNG, WINSIFG, The Game, BoP, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP. Body Lifting I skipped going on Friday (see Wife section below) so only went 2x this week. I did not fail the OHP like I wrote I probably would in last week's OYS. Thank you /u/ImNotSlash for h… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 16/04/19 03:49 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 09, 2019I'm 9 weeks into SL5x5 starting with the empty bar and nowhere near plateauing on any of the lifts except OHP yet so don't see those numbers as 1RMs, just my latest progress. Completely linear progression so far, let's see how far I can push it. I can't argue with my weight, I'm a fat fuck. Still trying to unfuck my attitudes and behaviors around food. This is where I am failing the hardest and rightly getting called out the most on here. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/04/19 01:35 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 09, 2019This is likely tied to the fact that he still wears a diaper at 4 years old. Kids in preschool will make fun of him, and swimming with a diaper can't be any fun - and if he does swim without a diaper, then there's risk of an accident in the pool. He's actually "school trained", which means he attends school (four hours) in underwear and does not wear a swim diaper in the pool. He does not use the potty however, despite encouragement from us and his teachers, he just holds it in. It's not very he… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 10/04/19 06:43 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 09, 2019He needs to be potty trained by kindergarten which is only 1.5 years away now. I'm not sure how much longer I should give him before bringing down the hammer so to speak. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/04/19 05:01 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 09, 2019NMMNG was the first MRP book I read actually. I have been toying around with rereading it after I finish MMSLP before moving on to SGM and the rest of the advanced reading list. Based on the feedback so far from this week's OYS, I am definitely going to do that now. We do make my son attend his activities using carrots and sticks as necessary. I have no problem bribing with a fruit snack or putting him in the corner to get compliance. Where I am falling down is figuring out how to make him want … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/04/19 05:00 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 09, 2019Wow, I didn't even realize when I was writing this just how fucking pessimistic I sound. Thanks for pulling my head out of my ass. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/04/19 03:44 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 09, 2019OYS #10 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 226.5 lb, 32.6% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 3.5M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 145 BP 95 ROW 115 OHP 90 DL 185. Readings: NMMNG, WINSIFG, The Game, BoP, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang. Body Lifting Not much to report here, just continuing to work SL5x5. I feel a plateau coming for OHP so am getting mentally prepared to fail my first set. Diet I had two aborted attempts to start loggi… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 09/04/19 02:08 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 02, 2019Thank you. I need to let go of perfection. Maybe it's an ego protection thing. As in, I can't log perfectly so I don't bother logging. And if I don't log and don't lose weight, well hey, who can blame me? No chance of failure. I need to get out of this mindset yesterday. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/04/19 04:01 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 02, 2019Otherwise it's a covert contract. "If I improve myself, then I will save the marriage". Man, these fucking covert contracts are everywhere! Time to shred this one. My gains will improve my life, however I decide it should look. True AWALT but you do need to figure out why you're with her. I do need to take a long hard look at this. I've hinted at it in previous OYS posts but I am unsure about what I want still. I don't feel like she provides as much value as she used to. I feel a lot of it is be… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 04/04/19 03:54 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 02, 2019Make a guess worst case. For instance, my wife makes meatloaf. I find some meatloaf on there, error on the side of higher calories and log it. If I can get the recipe, great, but if not an educated guess is better than nothing. The perfect is the enemy of the good here. There is no excuse for not honestly completing my food diary to the best of my knowledge every day. Stop telling your wife what you want to do.. do it or don't. You don't need her permission. This is a very bad mindset and you ne… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 02/04/19 10:00 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 02, 2019Unfortunately this doesn't solve the need for you to take responsibility for what goes in your mouth. If you missed it, /u/RPeed's post was about calories being king. If you want to lose weight, eat less. I did read that post and fully understand the importance of counting calories. My food hamster is a devious motherfucker, I must stop listening to it. I expect myself to try my best to count calories and not let the perfect (logging everything with complete precision) be the enemy of the good (… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 02/04/19 08:58 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - April 02, 2019OYS #9 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 228.1 lb, 32.9% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 3.5M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 130 BP 85 ROW 105 OHP 85 DL 175. Readings: NMMNG, WINSIFG, The Game, BoP, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method, Bang, Day Bang. Body Lifting I spent some time studying the Starting Strength YouTube videos for each of the SL5x5 lifts and correcting my form. Rip does a great job explaining the mechanices; I really should read Star… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 02/04/19 02:01 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 26, 2019Thanks, that's a much better reply. Feels much more oak-y. It doesn't create an unnecessary promise either. I'll keep what you said about always/never in mind as well. I can't believe I didn't make the connection between what I was reading and this experience. Mystery even made it explicit that you should practice game on all kinds of sets, even when you're not looking to pickup. To answer your question, I never approach strangers, attend almost zero parties, and speak in public maybe twice a ye… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 26/03/19 09:03 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 26, 2019OYS #8 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 226.0 lb, 32.4% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 3.5M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 115 BP 80 ROW 100 OHP 75 DL 155. Readings: NMMNG, WINSIFG, The Game, BoP, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP, The Mystery Method. Body Lifting I only made it twice this week (Thursday/Sunday) due to getting a really bad cold. I know the SL5x5 guide says to go anyway even if sick but I didn't even have the energy to go into work on Tuesday or Wedn… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 26/03/19 05:13 PM |
| 1 | 60 DoD 2019 - Official kickoffYes, some of these goals are single shot rather than changes in habit. I'll edit this as we go along to produce something more sustainable. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 26/03/19 01:12 AM |
| 1 | 60 DoD 2019 - Official kickoffI'm in and excited to take my progress to the next level. Here are my goals for the next few months: Lifting: lift 3x every week; complete SL5x5; find and transition to intermediate training program Eating: stop using fat logic; track every day; target TDEE-500 with 40/40/20 macros Hygiene: whiten teeth; trim nails and manscape weekly Style: learn about mens' style; update wardrobe Game: game wife daily; strengthen inner game Finances: assess and trim expenses monthly; invest extra cash sitting … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 25/03/19 02:48 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 19, 2019Yup, this has all been running through my head over the past few days. I fucked up, big time. It doesn't help that I have a history of depression and anxiety myself (though I suspect mine is due to environment rather than genetics). I will definitely be on the lookout for any sign of mental illness in my children as they grow up. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 21/03/19 09:49 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 19, 2019I did stick my dick in crazy. I haven't even mentioned yet that her family has a history of mental illness. Her paternal grandmother is an agoraphobic shut-in who hasn't left her house in years and leaves the kitchen sink running 24/7, the couple times I've visited have been odd to say the least. Her father and his siblings are all very paranoid individuals prone to family feuding. None of them have sought any treatment, probably due to the fact that they are immigrants with a stigma attached to… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 21/03/19 06:28 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 19, 2019You're right, this is further proof that I am so far in her frame it's not even funny. I'll focus more on owning MY shit in future posts. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 21/03/19 06:14 PM |
| 5 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 19, 2019I have to admit, I've been staring at your reply since yesterday because I had no idea how to respond. This was a slap in the face. You are right, she is a master manipulator and I have been in her web for over a decade now. When I first started with MRP, I assumed that AWALT and she would cut it out once I improved or I would next her. I am not ready to pursue divorce yet. Thinking back to what I just read in Mindful Attraction Plan, she is my energy vampire and I still need her more than she n… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 20/03/19 11:42 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 19, 2019OYS #7 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 227.5 lb, 32.7% BF. Wife: 34. Kids: 3.5M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts (SL5x5): SQ 105 BP 75 ROW 95 OHP 70 DL 145. Readings: NMMNG, WINSIFG, The Game, BoP, TRM, TRP Sidebar, MAP. Body Lifting I finally made it to the gym on all three of my scheduled days without much pushback. Lifting is now both (1) an ingrained habit of mine, which makes me much more likely to stick with it long term and (2) an accepted fact of l… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 19/03/19 01:10 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 12, 2019Stripper glitter... I love it! In other words, I should be using AM. Luckily as a parent of two toddlers, I know exactly how to handle trantrums: ignore them. I will ignore her provocations and play it cool. IDGAF; I don't need a scale to progress towards my goals, and I'm sure it will reappear soon anyway. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 13/03/19 08:29 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 12, 2019Too bad my son is a bit young to discuss this stuff with! :-) I'll read through your post history tonight, thanks. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 13/03/19 08:11 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 12, 2019Yes, it is now non-negotiable. The shit testing around my efforts to improve myself has reached absurd levels over the past few days: Constant comments about going to the gym (ignoring these) Refusing to divulge what goes into what she cooks for us (IDGAF, I am estimating and will start cooking for myself if it continues) Took away the bathroom scale The last just happened this morning, she had some bullshit hamstering about how she ordered it to begin with and I hadn't wanted to get it original… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 13/03/19 08:10 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 12, 2019There's lots of factors regarding weight... water intake, when you shit last, etc. I experimented with weighing 2x each day and weight can go up / down up to 4 lbs for me. What's more important is the trend downward. Yup, my scale comes with an app so I have the my full history charted and the overall trend is definitely downward, but with significant daily and even weekly variance. This is exactly my history. Things will improve if you keep it up, but I'm expecting to take year(s) to get fully … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/03/19 06:25 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 12, 2019OYS #6 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 230.5 lb. Wife: 34. Kids: 3.5M, 2F, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts: SQ 90 BP 65 ROW 85 OHP 65 DL 135. Body Lifting I was supposed to go to the gym on Wednesday, but I got the same shitty comfort testing as in last OYS. I had decided in advance if this happened that I would go on Thursday instead and spend some quality time with her to up her comfort level. Given everything that happened with her birthday, that she is pre… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/03/19 02:00 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 05, 2019you're going to have to let this play out sooner or later. Don't chase after her. She wants the emotion and the fight. Don't give it to her. Might as well get it over with (without going Rambo of course). If she actually follows through with it, you have some hard decisions to make. I'd make it a pretty clear boundary that she can't take the kids to the hotel, but she's free to go herself. If she violates this, you have to be willing to kill the puppy. If she is willing to be that shitty to the … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/03/19 09:31 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 05, 2019I'll reply to a lot of what you wrote... maybe it helps. It does help, thank you! I have gotten such helpful feedback from everyone here so far, I am eternally grateful to this community. I really look forward to the day I can be helpful to those who come after me. She doesn't "let" you do anything. You need to get out of this mindset. You're right. This is just more evidence that I am still stuck in her frame. I fear it will take me longer than I would like to build true inner game, given where… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/03/19 08:56 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 05, 2019Fuck, dude. This reply hit me like a 2x4 across the face. Thank you. Shit test. I agree that I am getting shit tested left and right and failing miserably. WISNIFG has given me the tools to at least avoid them blowing up into fights constantly. I need to learn how to AM and AA, so I can start actually passing these bitches, which sidebar material covers this? You’re still operating in her frame. When are you actually going to start REALLY doing all this shit for you instead of a huge covert cont… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/03/19 08:15 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 05, 2019Yeah I just finished reading that post and it's pure gold. I am exactly the kind of guy he was writing for there ("left-brained half-autistic social retards") and I actually get it now. I'll try to add a little flair to tonight's proceedings without going in for the grand gestures. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/03/19 07:42 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 05, 2019Thanks for the pointers. I'm going to check out Starting Strength. You need to get out more. There's still too much focus on her. Agreed, I am working my way towards Dread Level 3. I need to start coming up with ideas now for once I hit it (maybe a month or so from now). Why doesn't she sleep well with you there? Snoring? Movement? Stealing covers? Bed too small? Temperature? Waking her when you get out of bed? There's a legitimate complaint with a solution buried in there. I am a heavy snorer. … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/03/19 07:37 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 05, 2019Now I'm going to go with the son being the 3.5 year old Correct, I should have specified. I will add the kids' genders in the overview section of future OYS posts. The Naughty Blanket sounds similar to the standing in the corner technique I am using. I am definitely letting him go way too soon though. Did you see a benefit in using a blanket over standing in the corner? | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/03/19 06:54 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - March 05, 2019OYS #5 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 228.5 lb. Wife: 34. Kids: 3.5, 2, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts: SQ 80 BP 60 ROW 80 OHP 60 DL 125. Body Lifting My wife is starting to ramp up resistance to my going to the gym. Every time something doesn't happen on her expected timeline, she throws a shit test. On Wednesday, I didn't get to go until 10. She texted me while I was there that she was tired from being up with the kids last night and was going to bed, putt… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/03/19 02:20 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 26, 2019I've read your reply about twenty times trying to fully understand it. I have a feeling in the deeper recesses of my mind that it gets at something very important I haven't internalized yet. I was displaying binary thinking when I said that I either had to resist or acquiesce to her demand to get separate take out items for us. In the end the right move was to get separate food, but it really was about how you handle the situation, not the outcome. I should have decided on the best course of act… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 01/03/19 01:04 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 26, 2019You should be above this shit, and never play these games about establishing exactly your position within her subservient beta hierarchy. Let me make sure I understand the concept and its application to this situation. I should have gone along with what she wanted because it was not worth playing games over. Does that sound about right? I'm struggling to see how I can avoid implicitly accepting her authority here: either I resist her demand or I acquiesce to it. What's the third way? You insiste… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 28/02/19 09:29 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 26, 2019Hey, thank you for replying. Your comments on my first OYS were instrumental in me actually, you know, owning my shit for the first time in years. Thank you for taking the time (and getting called out on it!). I've got to ask here, what is your motivation for splitting the food? More variety by getting to try two different dishes. I bet a lot of problems with your wife stem from this one practice. I find that hard to believe but we'll see. My current mindset of beta plus fat logic hasn't had muc… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 28/02/19 04:19 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 26, 2019You are fat and you have zero self-control with food. I wouldn't want to share food with you either. Oof. Yup, I think no more sharing food from now on. Oddly enough I never shared food with family growing up, everyone always got their own thing. She got me onto it since her family would do that and I loved the variety (and sneaking more than half if we're being honest). I'll take her at face value and order separately from now on (not that often now that I'm dieting). You held your ground - rea… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 28/02/19 01:41 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 26, 2019At a certain point, if you are buying shit because it's cheap I'm more of the don't buy things, ever, kind of cheap. I think most people feel good when they buy things, but I feel guilty. It's slowly been getting better over the years, but my default state is to avoid spending money. Set some goals financial goals, something worthwhile and work towards it, but don't be stingy for it's own sake. I've been working towards r/financialindependence for the past 5 years, with a goal of early retiremen… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 27/02/19 03:17 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 26, 2019There's no free lunch bro. Too true. There is a cost I was not considering when I ate all I could - the damage to my body. jewish Called it, my mom's side is (non-practicing) Jewish. And I'm a cheap, cheap motherfucker. Leaving NY has helped a lot in this regard, but I am worried we have swung too far the other way. I've resolved to monitor our spending this year to make sure we are living under our means. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 26/02/19 05:20 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 26, 2019Try getting some proper pizza so you know what it is and you can pass on nasty places like Cicis. I was a lifelong New Yorker until we relocated two years ago. I have had some of the best pizza in the country (Di Fara is my favorite). I had never even heard of Cicis until moving here. The problem is not that I don't know what good pizza is, it's that I am completely incapable of resisting all you can eat. I would never, ever get Cici's for takeout because I know it's trash. For whatever reason, … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 26/02/19 04:06 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 26, 2019OYS #4 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 229.7 lb. Wife: 33. Kids: 3.5, 23 months, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts: SQ 65 BP 55 ROW 75 OHP 50 DL 105. Body Lifting I missed one workout due to the trip last week, but I got back on track on Sunday. The plan is still Wednesday/Friday/Sunday evenings and no more distractions for the forseeable future. The new gym is working out nicely. I end up going around 10pm so it's almost empty, which I like so no one has to wit… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 26/02/19 03:27 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 19, 2019They can be as useful as anything else, when they are planned for in advance. This wasn't a cheat day, it was you losing control. Own it and deal with it. You're right, I was out of control. I had food feelz and hamstered my way into being a fat pig. Your wife doesn't "get to reap" anything. Don't like it? Fucking divorce her. Don't want to divorce? Own your fucking decision. Self-pity is disgusting (and I know because I have a tendency to indulge in it). It will be my decision whether or not sh… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 19/02/19 10:21 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 19, 2019So order a fucking guacamole salad next time. There are always good choices, you fatass. Fat logic at its finest! No calorie counts? Everything is the same, eat whatever the fuck you want! This just proves that I need to go full autist on this. Measure everything, log everything. Estimate and make smart choices at restaurants. This shit is hard work for a reason – the benefits you’ll gain from hard work will put you in the elite top 1% of men in the world. So, do the work, stop being a bitch, an… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 19/02/19 09:52 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 19, 2019OYS #3 Previous OYS | First OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 230.1 lb. Wife: 33. Kids: 3.5, 23 months, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts: SQ 55 BP 50 ROW 70 OHP 45 DL 95. Body Lifting I had my last workout using the Smith machine on Sunday at the HOA gym. Yesterday I went to the new gym I chose to sign up. They have everything I need - a bunch of power racks and free weights. Good energy in the place. I'll be doing my first workout there tonight. I am actually beginning to look forwa… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 19/02/19 11:55 AM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 12, 2019That's an awesome example, thank you! I'll lead by example here. I was practicing last night and the kids seemed to respond pretty well to it. Hopefully the wife picks up. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 14/02/19 03:40 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 12, 2019I'm glad someone else had the same idea. I'm doubling down on the behavior this week and seeing if I notice any changes in the kids' responses to requests. I noticed my wife using a lot of the same manipulative language. I assume I should just be leading by example instead of directly asking her to change how she speaks to the children? | /r/MarriedRedPill | 13/02/19 07:54 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 12, 2019OYS #2 Previous OYS Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 229.4 lb. Wife: 33. Kids: 3.5, 23 months, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Lifts: SQ 45 BP 45 ROW 65. Body Lifting Everyone was right about the HOA gym. Once I went for my first workout Friday, I realized it has a Smith machine, not free weights. I did the Stronglifts anyway and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought! I felt really accomplished after. I found a local gym that has free weights and told my wife I was signing up there instead. U… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 12/02/19 02:52 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019Fogging, Broken Record and Negative Inquiry are your friends here. You'll find those in WISNIFG. Don't answer "I don't know" - that's a DLV. It's the Captain's job to know. Perfect, I just listened to the section on broken record this morning ("I want my meat!"; his example scenarios are hilarious) and fogging is queued up for this afternoon. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 08/02/19 04:29 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019Plus, your wife can come down and bug you while you're working out if you use the HOA one. I think I finally realize the confusion here. See my comments on the gym here. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 08/02/19 03:55 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019Good point, I can certainly grasp trend vs variation. Will weigh in daily. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 08/02/19 03:53 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019I had to look up what HOA stood for -- you mean like a condo gym, right? My wife uses one of those. It's cute, but you can't seriously train in there. We live in a large master planned community of several thousand single family houses. The gym is part of the rec center for residents, it's a 5 minute drive from our house so no chance of wife just popping in. I checked it out yesterday, it's quite nice and has all the equipment I'll need for StrongLifts. There was a pretty ripped guy on the squat… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 08/02/19 03:50 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019I have a food scale already. Started logging in MFP yesterday. I had always read to weigh in only weekly so you see the broader trend instead of the daily fluctuations, any reason to change that? | /r/MarriedRedPill | 07/02/19 03:48 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019The closest SSC gym is 40 minutes away. The good workout I can stick with is far better than the perfect workout I won't. Going to go with StrongLifts at a local gym. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/02/19 11:31 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019Thank you, that was a very helpful read. I am very prone to analysis paralysis. I will time box my "research" and take action on my most important priorities (gym, diet, reading). The fact that the sub uses training wheels to get men to talk to women as though their own lives are important is both sad and illustrative. Men in this sub are generally poor advocates for themselves and blame others for it. Harsh, but true. I'm certainly guilty of this. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/02/19 11:30 PM |
| 2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019You're right. I'm always telling people at work, "if something is truly a priority, you will make the time for it." I was such a Nice Guy that I never made myself a priority. I'll make the time for gym and reading. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/02/19 04:54 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019Fuck off. You must be the world's shittiest software engineer. Because if you were halfway decent, you'd know that people need to prioritize what is important. It's funny that you would choose to call out the one place in my life where I have confidence. Which means either you: Didn't really want to hurt me because your post is actually reverse psychology meant to motivate me Are even stupider than me I like to assume the best in people so I'm going with 1 for now. I look forward to proving you … | /r/MarriedRedPill | 06/02/19 01:22 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019Thank you for the detailed reply! Yes I really was (am?) a Nice Guy. Kind of sad once I wrote it all out above and am reading it from a neutral POV. It certainly reads like I have been taken advantage of. Well, that's about to change... She's talked about starting counting calories again a few times over the past year (before getting pregnant). She's not happy with her weight and has definitely let me know she's not happy with mine. I know she'll be down to join after baby comes. Time to lead by… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/02/19 10:20 PM |
| 8 | Own Your Shit Weekly - February 05, 2019OYS #1 Overview Me: 33, 5'8", 233.4 lb. Wife: 33. Kids: 3.5, 23 months, 3rd due August. Married 7 years, together 11. Going to give some extra background as this is my first post. I am the poster child for a career beta. Parents divorced (amicably) when I was 8, I responded by eating my feelings and have been obese ever since. I always excelled at school and naturally fell in with the nerds; my interests were pretty much video games and reading. Of course I had zero success with girls despite be… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 05/02/19 07:56 PM |
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