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betabopper Archive

View 0 posts and 40 comments by betabopper on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

It helped me with understanding the covert communication that the other half of the species employs. Further reading about covert communication led me to see the manipulation at the heart of (every?) my relationship. And boy did that set me off.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/16 09:06 PM
1

I posted a weak ass question to askMRP last week that got a lot of good answers. https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5dgb9m/drunk_captain_getting_silent_treatment/ I still didn't have my head on straight, obviously, and I have a lot to pull out of that post and put into my MAP. Here are my new red areas as I see them based on that post. Vision Everyone needs to know where we're going. I'm working on this and it is roughly "I am leading the family towards financial and spiritiaul prosperity …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/16 12:00 PM
1

Ah, Laphroaig 30. Too bad I quit drinking.
/r/askMRP19/11/16 01:21 AM
1

I have a similar cartilage thing in my knee with regular squats. I have zero issues with my knee when I do the box squat. Go figure. I do jumping Jacks to warm up and then start with low weight and move up 50 pounds a time until I hit my working weight. They sucked at first as I had no explosiveness from a sitting position but I've gone from 205 5x5 to 245 5x5 inside of a few weeks with no repeating weights.
/r/askMRP19/11/16 01:13 AM
1

Nope, native speaker of English. It probably wasn't as awkward as what I wrote. Tbh, though, I was trying to take responsibility verbally for my earlier outstanding performance without actually apologizing. I internalized the 'you get 2, 3 tops apology rule' I've seen in here and was doing an awkward job of trying to walk the line between personal accountability and not wasting an apology. Pretty sure it didn't help at all.
/r/askMRP19/11/16 12:49 AM
1

I switched to box squats for what felt like knee pain. Don't know why, perhaps the wider stance with feet more splayed, but no knee pain now.
/r/askMRP18/11/16 06:02 PM
1

I probably didn't need to worry about shit tests, AM, and AA as much as I did. Out of the gate, STFU would have sufficed while I work on attractiveness and building comfort and sexual tension. I got two of those but neglected comfort, which was my strong suit before kids came along and I let life take the relationship where it wanted. She never, I mean, never chases me around the house with ah emotional hard on. She just pulls a page out of MRP and STFU. She's got frame, for sure. I got my work …
/r/askMRP18/11/16 04:55 PM
1

I probably didn't need to worry about shit tests, AM, and AA as much as I did. Out of the gate, STFU would have sufficed while I work on attractiveness and building comfort and sexual tension. I got two of those but neglected comfort, which was my strong suit before kids came along and I let life take the relationship where it wanted. She never, I mean, never chases me around the house with ah emotional hard on. She just pulls a page out of MRP and STFU. She's got frame, for sure. I got my work …
/r/askMRP18/11/16 04:55 PM
1

Great post. Really solid and helpful. In last week's OYS, I put up a number of realizations that were clearly in hindsight about me moving on from Stage 2 - Negotiation. So it's not surprising that I ended up smack in another bout of anger and rather unpleasantness. As I held the wife this morning and she complained at me about me she said 'you were in a bad mood all last week and you found a target in me.' That's almost perfectly accurate but the anger model suggests I chose her as I was rebeli…
/r/askMRP18/11/16 04:42 PM
1

Nope, no troll here. Your first inclination--that I sound, (and thereby must think) awkward--is spot on. That's my issue. I'm not on the spectrum, or at least no one ever told me I am, but I'm struggling more than I should most of the time. This whole post has shown me that I'm my own biggest enemy on my MAP. I got a lot of Reds to take away from this and will incorporate them into next week's OYS. Thanks at any rate, BPP.
/r/askMRP18/11/16 04:25 PM
1

Yes, they have made it very clear. I'm very grateful. Over thinking= bad
/r/askMRP17/11/16 10:33 PM
1

Majorly helpful. Thank you.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 09:32 PM
1

Thanks for this follow up. WISNIFG has helped quite a bit as I was way worse before...Grima Wormtongue bad. I just downloaded Gorilla Mindset and will put in the work to work towards the internal mindset I have been striving for but I have allowed to elude me. I'd been tacitly fooling myself into thinking that I was holding frame externally but I often get wracked by an inner emotional turmoil after the fact when I'm out of sight. She must pick up on this with her bloodhound sense for weakness.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 07:13 PM
1

Damn, when you say it like that, I sure come up short. Spot on, at any rate. I was hugging her when the sourness started flowing and I think the proximity made it feel too fast and real to handle with frame when she started pulling away. Captain Butthurt, that's my name.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 06:24 PM
1

When she's like this, she resists all forms of rapprochement, except beta groveling. I'm going to follow your advice and be playful up to the point that any negative behavior warrants removal of time and attention.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 06:07 PM
1

It's not typical. Usually I have something better going. I could have led better in this situation, no doubt. Your questions at helpful. I'm going to think through them.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 05:59 PM
1

I keep thinking I'm taking her emotions too seriously. I'm not being enough of an asshole in this regard. I like the asshole rule and will apply it. And once applied, own the outcome. At least she's feeling something right now and is likely enjoying the roller coaster.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 05:57 PM
1

Why? Because apparently whatever frame I have evaporated next to what I have been conditioned to expect is coming after I challenge her in asshole fashion. Thanks, this is a good perspective.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 05:44 PM
2

She used to gladly make me pokechops (yes, I mean pork chops). I'd like to improve to the point where this kind of thing isn't an issue. Holding frame come hell or high water is a god first step. And if it keeps coming up, then reassess. I have work to do in the meantime. Another wife would follow the same pattern so I gotta do me first.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 05:41 PM
2

Funny how you and TFA are basically saying the same thing. Congruence seldom lies. Indeed, I'm having a good look at her large intestines at the moment, my head is so far up there.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 04:32 PM
2

Yep, spot on. Communicating the vision up front, or on a regular basis, has ALWAYS been my Achilles heel. It started showing up at work where I lead teams and I act to correct it, but still not enough. I make the mistake of assuming we're all competent people (and she is, big time) and that since I can see the destination and way points along the way, so can everybody else. I realize how stupid this sounds and know what I need to do. Where there is no vision, the people perish.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 04:18 PM
1

She does almost none of this kind of emotional stuff so that's why I think of her as quality. She's fairly even keeled but often lists in a downward, poor me direction. So I lack the kind of practice some of you guys get when it does occasionally flairs up. Instead, I have spent most of my time focused on making sure I've got my nose in all of the ship's business so she doesn't feel overwhelmed, as she is wont to do. This strategy of mine needs work.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 04:13 PM
1

I hear you loud and clear. Everything you said is true. I'm starting with the vision and mission as the vision is all in my head so it's the same as if there is no vision.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 04:04 PM
1

Thanks, the up beat body language and attitude are key. I got to have the congruence when I engage. Right on on the game. I had none when I started and have made some progress but it's weak nonetheless. The frame thing seemed good until shit hit the fan, then I crumbled momentarily.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 03:58 PM
0

Well said. I'm working on it. Thanks.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 03:55 PM
1

I have work to do in leading her, for sure. But I run the show at home with regards to the kids. I get them off to school and pick them up as she leaves early and comes home late, I take them to practices, I cook a lot of the meals, I like a clean house so I do everything I can and not from a sense of chore play. She expressed an interest in running so we got her shoes to jog the neighborhood. Went once and always has an excuse. We're joining a gym with daycare in a month. But I recognize I need…
/r/askMRP17/11/16 03:49 PM
1

Mission: by prioritizing myself, my needs, and those of my children, I will become a man capable of restoring his marriage while developing into a man who can ultimately walk away, if need be. Posture/appearance: going well. Back muscles are making this much better. Continuing to dress well and it's come together quicker and better than I could have imagined. Social: finally getting the AMOG thing going at kid's wrestling practice. Frame: getting better but just failed a major shit test and told…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/16 01:53 AM
4

You can get that kind of a spouse who communicates just like that...if you divorce her and marry a man. Otherwise, STFU.
/r/askMRP16/11/16 10:14 PM
2

I just downloaded Manipulated Man. I thought I was making progress with the anger stage. Nope. Think again. I'm pissed again now and an only 1/3rd of the way through it.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/16 08:49 PM
1

This shit gets way more complicated with kids. The get out of jail pass for dads costs a lot more.
/r/askMRP16/11/16 02:13 AM
1

I have lots of fancy letters after my name, as well. When I learned to shut up about myself and shut off the validation seeking behavior and just use a few basic conversational techniques, I got a lot more interesting.
/r/askMRP14/11/16 09:36 PM
1

Good job, blimblamp. We've been at the OYS for the same amount of time (I have a new account) and have arrived at precisely the same point at exactly the same time. I number closed a cutie in the mall today as I finally amped it up to DL7. Wife just ain't getting the message after initially upping the sex so onwards and upwards. I had the same exact thoughts driving home - a tumbler clicked into place and I realized that the 'fuck you or fuck me' conversation I rehearse in my head must come from…
/r/askMRP14/11/16 09:24 PM
1

Well said. The "poor me drama" is a staple in some women's bag of dark arts. I should know - it's my wife's go to and she does it without saying a word. OP: read the book Practical Female Psychology. The authors go into depth about HSE vs LSE women. You should be able to figure out where she is at in the SE continuum based on their descriptions. I thought my wife was LSE but then realized she's mostly in the middle. The wives shown with black eyes on Cops are truly LSE whereas what you describe …
/r/askMRP13/11/16 12:32 PM
2

To learn the language on the fly, just be willing to get deep into situations that you have no idea how to get out of. It's easiest with women and then you can do it with men. You'll be amazed at how fast your brain starts working in these situations and how it accelerates your learning. When you realize that "if I'd just known the word 'bench' this conversation would have been much easier." You will never forget the word bench henceforth and will never have to spend prevcious cognitive time roo…
/r/askMRP12/11/16 11:56 AM
1

You need to read The Book of Pook. You are BORING!
/r/askMRP12/11/16 11:45 AM
2

One thing I've noticed is a woman's frame control goes into warp drive when you start learning about what was traditionally women's domain. She might be worthless in the kitchen...and that's why you can't be good or better than her in her mind. My wife, who does minimal shit testing, kicks it up a few notches when I try something new, especially when it's a dish from her country that she probably feels she should be cooking already for me and the kids. She'll really go nuts if I source the recip…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/16 11:36 AM
1

A couple extra wheels don't cost THAT much even if you donate them to the work gym in the end. What do you do when someone needs 2 45s? That's like 1/4 of the weights!
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/16 01:24 AM
1

Yeah, it's a lot of shit about her. Rather than victim puke on here, I chose to swallow it and let it digest. This is what came out the other end. It's still a victim puke of sorts as there's always an element of self-deception in us nice guys. This is me holding myself accountable for overcoming all that self deception I'd constricted around my marriage. Thanks for the encouragement.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/16 11:56 PM
1

Over the past two weeks, I've been making gainer shakes in my blender. I'm not big into counting calories, I just make sure I'm feeling stuffed on real food all day and am shitting all the time. Anyways, I make up a big mofo batch every night and it's about 64 ounces. It's packed with protein as it has: -Wheat germ -Creamy Peanut butter -Milk -Yogurt -40g protein I'll split it three ways and have one right after i wake up, at lunch or after, and right before bed. For healthy carbs, I throw in so…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/16 03:18 AM
3

Posted here under new account last week but it didn't show. Must not have verified my email or some shit. Anyways, been at this for months and decided it was time for a clean account break. Mission: to become a man who can put himself first without feeling guilty. I have MAP goals that I'll continue to bring on here but I just have had some insights that I need to get out there. I took a break from reading MRP for about a week. The steady drip had reached saturation point so I let it go for a wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/16 02:13 AM
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