TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

blackcanves Archive

View 5 posts and 68 comments by blackcanves on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

This should be higher up!! I think I'm def at this stage where I need to grow from the bitterness. Thank you for sharing practical advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:46 PM
109

Love this quote! If they had any morals to begin with they would not be oppressing you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 04:31 PM
117

This is a common technique narcissists use called moving the goal post. They set up an expectation and then change it once you meet the expectation or are just about to. By constantly shifting and redefining expectations they ensure that they will never be satisfied with you no matter what and keeps the blame on you. An example, from my personal life. Ex: 'We don't have enough money to move out, we need to save then maybe we can afford to live on our own.' (We lived with his family) Pickme old s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 04:25 PM
311

THIS IS SOO TRUE!! Your skin, your hair, your soul, just everything about you glows different without men stressing us out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:56 PM
252

Him, his friend, and his mother are all horrible. I can't comprehend how anyone would think her reaction during birth could even remotely be considered 'funny.'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:53 PM
2

That's a good one too! I used to believe that all the time thinking it meant that they saw a lot of potential in me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:45 PM
10

Agreed they're def no role models but I started implementing this attitude at work. I used to train new hires with no pay raise. Then when a trainer position came up guess who they hired? The white guy who sat beside me (¬_¬ )
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:38 PM
185

Never do something for free that an average white male won't do for free. Can't remember where I read this... maybe from this sub... but this hits home on so many levels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:09 PM
3

I think a HVM will put effort in pursuing you but he will do so gracefully. The courting should always be elegant and he should be respectful of your boundaries. This! He will make an effort to accommodate your boundaries, never pushing them or belittling them. Also he will take rejection gracefully. If he doesn't, then he def was not HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 06:16 PM
14

Is this in reference to your dealings with men? or just with the world in general? Typically to resolve cognitive dissonance, you have to either change your actions or your thoughts so that there is no longer a conflict. You can feel angry yet still outwardly seem sweet and agreeable. Is that where the dissonance is for you? Alternatively, I'd argue that you can accept the dissonance. You can be two things at once, even if they are in direct opposition with each other. This might come easier for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 03:57 PM
29

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nio4st/my_ex_accused_me_of_rape/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:24 PM
261

“A girl...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:19 PM
51

Men who treat women badly tend to seek out women who are more vulnerable/insecure. Being raised by a single mother can make you more vulnerable because almost always you have a shitty example as a father. And this generally tends to manifest in having an anxious attachment style, since there is abandonment from a parent figure early on. Additionally, society places shame and the blame onto single mothers which can often be internalized by the children. He was trying to emotionally weaponize your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:10 PM
19

I'm so glad you got to see his true colours early on and had the ability to leave him. It really takes a lot self-control for you to have not said anything after being so humiliated and objectified by him. This way he has no idea what went wrong and he can't use that knowledge to better hide his true nature from the next women he tried to dates. And I think this is why it's so important to just block and delete with no explanation. This also applies to men of colour. I'm so ashamed that I stayed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:36 PM
34

Ugg yes! I hated how she stayed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 07:37 PM
20

I think it depends on the boundary, whether or not it should be verbally communicated. I'll give two examples - one where you should and one where you shouldn't. Example 1 - No phone calls after 8 pm: If someone suggested a call after 8 pm (potential partner or friend), I wouldn't just block them. I would let them know that I don't take calls that late and would suggest an earlier time. Now, if they ignore this then you respond with action (in most cases blocking). Example 2 - Name-calling: If s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:19 PM
2

I'm for the Punjabi part of Pakistan. A bit bittersweet but since my parents got divorced we've kinda been shunned by our family and the Pakistani community here. So in a sense I don't get exposed to all negative aspects as much thankfully. And yeah the racism in America is very different than back home. Not that it's necessarily worse there, it just really different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:04 PM
6

It's just so shocking how prevalent this is. You never realize how racist some people are until it's time for their kids to get married. I have friends from Somalia, Ethiopia, and some Arab countries and they've all had this problem when they got married. Most of them weren't allowed to look outside their tribe, and then, add classism and colourism to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:00 PM
16

1000% agreed! I don't know how I was so naïve and thought that POC could not be racist. I was in for a rude awaking when I had gotten married. I never been one to strongly identify with my ethnicity, but it is extremely annoying when the people you live with constantly and purposefully invalidate a part of your identity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:39 PM
48

This!!! It works !!! I’ve done this by accident and porn sick guys will just out themselves almost immediately. I’ll add sometimes they’ll try to make a joke about it. And you just have to act in innocent and they’ll either just expose themselves further or stop because they know it’s inappropriate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:56 PM
2

Yes! getting your thoughts down on paper even in an unstructured way is soo therapeutic! Looking back at my writing I can def see some patterns that emerge that I can now pick out a lot faster in real life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:37 PM
3

Aww yay! I'm so glad the post helped. I was in the similar situation before. In that relationship I would literally have to beg for even the smallest bit of kindness from him, so why would things be different now. And knowing how they think, if he see's how good you're doing, he's gonna somehow try to take credit for it. Literally what my ex did. He would say to my family, 'like yeah see that ... I did that to her, it's because of me that she's so great now." Like naw B, you tore me down and I b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:32 PM
6

I love that addition! Watching it burn can be very symbolic and powerful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:08 PM
5

I love all these questions. Esp #3, I never thought about that but it's a really good point. A lot of times seeking closure means putting ourselves at risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:04 PM
11

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this and it's actually very common that it took some time to process what happened. On average it takes about ~1 years to reach out for help after rape. I know right now it feels uncomfortable calling it rape, but that is exactly what it is. And when you come to realize that, it becomes very painful to try to understand and re-live it. You also mentioned that he asked "is this okay?" I think in your case, this shows that he knew it was not okay. Think abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:43 PM
10

This!! They know you are too good for them and they know if you realize this they'll lose you and all the benefits that come with. Instead of leveling up to match you, they do everything they can to put you down instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 06:53 PM
24

Yes! Suddenly it’s his car but OUR monthly car payments, OUR insurance payments and OUR gas money. This is what my ex did to me. He bought a car against my advice and even though I couldn’t drive it I was still paying for half the expense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 12:30 PM
20

I've always hated the Shrek movies and couldn't pinpoint why, but I think this is exactly it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:50 PM
2

So proud of you! and yes this is a HUGE win!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:42 PM
5

Oh no that really sucks! but I'm glad that you can see that they're not the best to confide in. It can really cloud our judgement esp if it's coming from close family and friends. Unfortunately my mom is a huge pick-me and I only started realizing that recently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:36 PM
56

Humour is just another way for them to test and push boundaries. Like you said if he can't take the criticism/rejection he won't be able to respect your other boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:55 PM
114

I actually disagree with this. I used to do exactly this and was the reason why I stayed so long in a toxic relationship. I'm actually very lucky to have HVW as my friends even when I was a pick-me. I knew then if I told them about the guy they wouldn't approve so I wouldn't tell them or only tell them some things. Now I tell them everything and very early on. This is one of my ways to vet men and strength my ability to break up with someone. Actually this was something my therapist encouraged m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 04:30 PM
46

The show is one of my guilty pleasures too! Although I'm thinking of taking a break because it's starting to become triggering for me esp at the tell all with Andrew and how everyone reacted to Amira. But yes!!! I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. Have u seen him on the Single Life?? It just shows more how much of a predator he is. He is starting a new relationship with Liz and the red flags continue: *spoiler* 🚩 She is one year younger than his own daughter! Again going after young…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 07:26 PM
5

I wonder how she address cheating... 'well you see everything was all fine until you found out so really it's your fault'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:34 PM
6

That is so disgusting! Men have no empathy or compassion. They only ever think about themselves I’m so sorry you had to go through that the first time. And then opening up to someone and have them not respecting your experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:30 AM
19

Yes! And even if you have in the past NEVER tell a man that. They’ll use it against you and try to push your boundaries thinking you did it once so you’ll do it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:40 PM
3

Yess!! It's shocking how many ppl don't consider this rape. This happened to one of the cast members on 90 day fiancé and the guy never denied anything yet so many ppl made fun of her for "crying rape." Like it is rape! and he literally admitted it on tv! Btw that is a show is a great showcase of NVM/LVM and pickme relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 10:45 AM
114

Honestly I rather find a women’s only gym or women only programs if available. Especially for swimming. Things are not open yet but I used to go to women only swim timings. It’s just a different atmosphere and a lot easier to even meet and talk to other women. I find I am and other women are always on guard whereas we can let our guard down more in these spaces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 02:45 PM
1

OMG so embarrassing! But I fell for this pre-FDS....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:07 AM
6

Not 100% related but anytime someone would compliment me, my ex always found a way to make it about him either talking about him or getting mad at me later for not complimenting him enough. So I have really long natural eyelashes such that people would assume I’m wearing falsies. Anytime someone would compliment me about them in front of him he’d always be like ‘oh those are nothing’ then point to his lashes and be like ‘see look how nice mine are.’ I never noticed this until his cousin called h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:16 PM
123

Interesting note about trauma bonding and oxytocin! Makes a lot more sense why that pull is so strong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:47 PM
13

Beautifully written! Love this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:12 PM
109

Ahh yes, I def fell for this. I didn't even think of the financial or emotional cost, for me I thought and my culture pushed that getting married would be my ticket to freedom. LOL def a huge lie. Doing what most people would consider normal - hanging out with friends, travelling, taking a walk by myself, etc - were all things I was told 'oh you can do that when you get married.' One of the main reasons I wanted to get married was so I could finally travel around the world. This is such a damagi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:05 PM
103

Yes, this is so sad. Women always get blamed for men's shortcomings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 03:07 PM
55

internalized male gaze Ooo this! I recently saw a Tik Tok where the girl was saying 'doesn't matter if u got a phat a** or not, men don't care, they'll look either way.' It's like they're trying to say 'your value doesn't depend on how a man views you' but then use men as a frame of reference for our worth. Like NO! Men should be irrelevant ESPECIALLY in how we view our bodies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:01 PM
41

This! Men and women ghost for different reasons. Many guys that "ghost" women still keep their number to randomly hit up later. Women ghost because we are done and a lot of times its when the guy doesn't take no for an answer. In the past I've had a guys send me paragraph after paragraph explaining why they would be a good match after I rejected them. This is why its better and safer to just ghost, block, and delete. No one has the right to access your time and energy. Simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 04:30 PM
7

Oh yes! Even pre-FDS he irritated me so much! He just follows her along everywhere and does what? And then for some reason he’s the CEO of the company, not her?!?!? When it’s so clear that she does all the hard work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 12:41 AM
19

🤢🤢🤢 So sorry you had to see that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:25 AM
38

But... but... mY lOvE laNguAgE is pHYsiCaL toUcH and tHaT’s tHe onLY wAy I cAn sHoW affEcTIoN so I haVE to sLEeP wiTH yOu oN tHe fIRsT dAte. 🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 12:07 PM
61

Sounds like a huge projection... First, men notoriously over rate themselves in attractiveness so he’s prob not even close to a 9 in looks. Second, based on his own self-repot he only hooked up with 3 ‘attractive’ women and 12 ‘average’ women. Sounds like he couldn’t trick more ‘attractive’ women into sleeping with him. Also prob looking way more into this but he said 3 women tried contacting him after he blocked them ... sounds like it was the other way around ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 11:55 AM
7

This! There needs to be enough systematic change for us to take back the word and change it’s derogatory meaning. I’m not 100% familiar with the history of the N word. I have a feeling tho it was not reclaimed by Black Americans until after there was at least some meaningful systematic changes in America. Someone please correct me if I’m wrong. And no doubt there is still a lot that needs to be changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:45 PM
6

Thank you! Just going through all her videos on tiktok and I love her perspective and how she explains things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 07:54 PM
46

I was diagnosed with PTSD too. I never considered it a chronic illness but that might actually be a better way of looking at it. There’s always new triggers I’m discovering which is frustrating but also a little surprisingly to see that now I am able to better deal with it. I 100% agree that you need to learn to have compassion for yourself and honestly therapy helps a lot. If you can def try it out with someone who specializes in CPTSD. I would also say that you don’t need to do this alone. I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:50 PM
113

Yess!!! I’m so tired of hearing this narrative and it’s only ever pushed to women! “True love requires sacrifice...” 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:01 PM
57

Very true! I’m starting to be more and more disgusted by guys that used to be ‘my type’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:32 PM
2

Nightmares and sleep issues are also common symptoms of PTSD. And okay good that other ppl know too. I guess no harm in telling your physical therapist too but I don’t think they’ll be able to do much since they have to keep both his and your info confidential ... maybe they can help avoid booking you in similar timing without releasing any info. Maybe also look at other offices ... sometimes just removing yourself from the situation or potential of running into him again helps a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 01:00 PM
1

Yes, I had a very similar situation expect mine was ongoing. I had switched jobs and found out that my ex worked 2 mins away from my new workplace and started harassing me again. I started getting panic attacks and started going to therapy and discovered that I had PTSD stemming from the abuse I went through in that relationship. Even if it was a one time thing do seek help, it helped me process a lot of the trauma I went through and overcome feeling triggered. Also make sure you tell someone yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 03:45 AM
6

Keep your standards high and find likeminded women to vent to! That was def a lesson I learned the hard way. Women in our culture (and really in most) are always expected to sacrifice and to give up not only our wants but our needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 03:37 AM
11

Why can’t he do both ?!?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 01:26 AM
2

Your ‘rambling’ is so well written. I was able to follow through and understand a lot more better. I’m def going try to see if I can catch myself makings those judgments and see if I can reframe my thinking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 02:37 PM
24

Wow this was hard to fully accept because of how much I have this good/bad concept indoctrinated in me. My unconscious wanted to argue with everything you were saying. Definitely adding this to my list of things I’m going to work on this year - reframing. I’d love to hear more about how you were able to make this shift in your thinking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 04:37 AM
25

Aww I felt this one We all gotta start somewhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 10:20 PM
14

😍😍😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 04:08 AM
6

This is my New Years resolution too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 12:38 AM
6

Right .... it’s us who always provide the friendship and the benefits while getting nothing in return
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:10 PM
15

Blocked and now deleted 🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:57 AM
5

This is the experience that I hope for when putting on my hijab. Unfortunately the men I’ve encountered continue to objectify and sexualize me with it on. It got to a point where I no longer felt comfortable having it on and ended up taking it off. I’m curious if anyone else experienced this? Just a few example: I got followed in the subway by a guy that would not stop asking me out .... even creeper is I had just turned 18. Male coworkers asking me how long and what colour my hair is. Granted t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:54 AM
53

Perfect timing ! I’ve been trying to break up with a FWB situation for a while now. Every time I told him he convinced me to give him another try .... I know I know .... but finally I blocked him without explanation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:32 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter