blastanova Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
341	No half measures. (How to avoid the friend zone)		blastanova	/r/seduction	05/09/14 05:04 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
9	Read "Models" from Mark Manson and what happened afterwards Vulnerability is the solution of everything and just be yourself "Just be yourself" only works if the "real you" is actually attractive. (Developing an attractive lifestyle and identity is a big part of what Mark Manson's writing is about.) "Honest communication" is only part of what Models is about. It's also about honest living. Putting it another way, it's about investing in yourself and developing an attractive lifestyle. Which seems to be a problem for you, because: Now I "just" want to get…	/r/seduction	25/01/15 06:24 AM
1	Should Guy Let Girl Pay for Dinner? I want to pay, as a sign of respect, but I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or somehow thought less of if I pay and she doesn't. Here's how I pay for a woman while showing her that I respect her as an equal: "Hey, I'll get this one. You can cover next time, alright?" (Said playfully as a bit of a tease, not an ultimatum.) This is good because it allows you to assume the traditionally "masculine" role in that moment by paying for the night, but you're also putting the two of you on equal…	/r/seduction	03/11/14 09:15 PM
1	People who have read Models: does Seddit seem to contradict everything in that book? People who have read Models: does Seddit seem to contradict everything in that book? I don't think so, at least in terms of what kinds of content people tend to upvote (both submissions and in the comments section). People tend to prize solid philosophy over tactics. For example, this is the highest voted submission on seddit of all time, and it's very inner-game focused, which is most of what Models is about. Here's the issue (that may be leading to what you observe): in terms of volume, there'…	/r/seduction	03/11/14 03:30 AM
15	Her life is probably boring I don't think my "pep talk" persuaded him, but I basically spent the night demonstrating to him that people do find him interesting and I think he got the point by the end of the night. As I said he's generally comfortable socializing with people after he gets over the awkward hump of the introduction, so I opened sets for him. The other thing is that he often tends to "take the path of least resistance" and let other people direct the conversation, meaning he seldom talks about himself except w…	/r/seduction	30/10/14 10:26 AM
74	Her life is probably boring This is something that I sort of understood subconsciously but never really realized entirely until I took a friend out to a bar one night. He's kind of a softspoken guy who has an outdoor job and enjoys introverted isolation, but generally has a pretty easy time socializing with co-workers and small co-ed groups. But when I took him out to a bar he was petrified, like dear-in-headlights AA. He basically made a statement to the effect of, "All these girls look so beautiful and they probably don'…	/r/seduction	30/10/14 03:43 AM
5	How do you talk to people in public? I have not had any friend since I was 12 sadly. I'd start with smaller steps. (/r/socialskills might be better suited to your needs than /r/seduction here.) You need to learn how to socialize on a basic level before you can approach and connect with women sexually or romantically. Anyway, for immediate actionable steps, I'd recommend that you join clubs or activity groups at your college. Find a club directory for your campus and look for things that might be interesting to you. I especially rec…	/r/seduction	25/10/14 08:46 AM
1	It it just me or do some you also get sharper when you're on an empty stomach? Scott Adams post on this topic This makes sense from an evolutionary view. As soon as you feel hunger coming on, your body is designed to put you into your most creative and energetic mode for the purpose of hunting and gathering. If you can't outrun your prey, you have to outthink it. And if there are no bananas in your usual tree, you'd better have a creative idea where to look next. It makes sense that the onset of hunger would stimulate your brain to its highest operating level. My theory is…	/r/seduction	23/10/14 08:43 PM
2	How many times can a girl flake before it's a done deal? I feel like sometimes people really are just busy but other times they just don't wanna go out with you. What ya think? Do what this guy did.	/r/seduction	20/10/14 07:29 AM
5	General Date Setup and Execution Guide for Newbies i think if she pays it will show you treat women like equals. When it comes to the date, the goal is that we (as men) should take the initiative and assume responsibility. Men are expected to make the first move and ask a woman out. Men are expected to plan the date (which is exactly what this post is about.) Men are expected to have responsibility and ownership of the approach and the date. And included with that responsibility is a financial responsibility. You plan the date, you pay for the d…	/r/seduction	20/10/14 07:21 AM
1	Jealous of the officers in my new club Develop abundance mentality. (Mark Manson explains it here) The abundance mentality is practically the very definition of an attractive man. And the sooner you start incorporating it into your own thinking, the sooner you’ll start adopting attractive behaviors. The abundance mentality is this: when you recognize that no matter what the situation is, there are an infinite amount of opportunities with women out there. As a result, he will act unreserved, assertive and more confidently. The opposit…	/r/seduction	19/10/14 02:35 AM
1	How do girls feel about guys who don't have any male friends? I only maintain advantageous relationships like the people around work. yes but a girl wouldn't see me say this would she? Girls can't see the things you post on the internet, but they can observe your attitude, and the things you post on the internet tell us quite a bit about your attitude.	/r/seduction	19/10/14 02:25 AM
5	How To Touch A Woman Friend To Get Her Horny In 3 Minutes Flat Weirdly I think there are a lot of guys who are resistant to the idea of touching a girl when they are trying to seduce her because they don't want to come across as "creepy" or whatever. Hey, you know what is creepy? Hovering around her and trying to act like you're not trying to engage her physically even though your words and behavior and attitude are conveying that you totally want to get physical with her. If your actions match your words and intentions, that's what we call honesty. It's al…	/r/seduction	17/10/14 08:49 PM
4	The ups and downs of following this subreddit. I understand the need to move on but when viewed like this it's ridiculous. If a girl is not interested in you it doesn't make her this cold hearted bitch who doesn't deserve respect. My general policy is to be courteous always when cutting things off. I do this even (and especially) when dealing with someone who is especially rude and abrasive, because oftentimes these people are acting rude because they're trying to get a rise out of you. So really being courteous seems like a win/win for me: …	/r/seduction	17/10/14 08:43 PM
1	THIS ENTIRE SUB-REDDIT IN ONE SENTENCE become the type of man that will make any girl want you. Eh, I wouldn't say that I want to make "any girl" want me. There are lots of women out there who I have no interest in, so why would I care whether they want me? I'm only interested in being the kind of man who is appealing to girls that I want to be with. The way you've phrased it makes it sound like seduction is about being able to succeed with every woman, which just isn't true (and if you think it is you'll find yourself very sad when …	/r/seduction	17/10/14 07:27 PM
1	How to choose a NORMAL girl? This might not be the case for you, but I'd recommend reading this article and see if any part particularly resonates with you. It sounds like it could be applicable since in the interaction you described she was the one pursuing the interaction initially. So, to answer your question: where do you guys find normal people who still believe in old school relationships, where it starts with datings If you want to date girls, start by asking girls out on dates. Simple, right? I find that cold approa…	/r/seduction	17/10/14 08:30 AM
2	The Extreme Difference Clothing Makes - My Business Attire Experience Depends more on context than your age. If you're walking around downtown in a suit, people assume you're near your place of work and on a break or going to a meeting. If you're a college student and show up to class dressed casually on a regular basis but one day show up in a suit, people will probably assume something like, "Oh, he probably just came from an interview" or "He was probably at some sort of alumni networking event" or something. If you show up to your college classes in a suit eve…	/r/seduction	17/10/14 06:37 AM
3	For how long did you faked it before you got confident? Can confirm that customer service jobs are a great way to increase confidence. I was a pretty awkward kid in my early years of high school but working a customer service deck got me comfortable talking to strangers and helped me overcome a lot of social anxiety. One very positive experience and lesson that comes out of holding a customer service position is that it frequently puts you into interactions where you are the person who is more experienced. If a customer comes to your desk come to ret…	/r/seduction	16/10/14 05:59 AM
1	Someone posted in my first thread that there are MANY guys that get great results from cold approach. Where are these guys? One guy approaches everything in site at any venue he goes to and the girls either tell him to fuck off or run away. Women can smell desperation from a mile away, and approaching any and every woman with a pulse reeks of desperation. The other dude is a guy that overanalyzes everything just to hook up with fatties with ugly faces. The best cold approach is done without premeditation. I use cold approach all the time anywhere and everywhere (often described as "day game") but it's never with prem…	/r/seduction	16/10/14 05:34 AM
35	I want a girlfriend, I have gotten massive success using everything I have learned here but this persona I've taken on never makes the girls want to stay. As others have noted, Mark Manson's book "Models: Attract Women Through Honesty" is the resource you want. a year ago I never knew a thing about attracting women beyond "Be yourself" and "Be confident", neither of those things helped when I never made a move, or showed interest without pissing my pants. The problem with "be yourself" is that it doesn't work if the "real you" isn't someone who's genuinely attractive. There are two ways around this: you can pretend to be someone more attractive (a…	/r/seduction	16/10/14 05:09 AM
3	Easy and effective opener "Hey! So my friends are being boring, I'm much more interested in you, mind if I hang out with the cool/attractive people again for a while?." I'd tweak this line slightly to say, instead of "My friends are being boring" say "The people I came with are being boring." The frame I want to present is that I'm open to being friends with everyone, and the group I'm leaving is just the group I had initially set out to socialize with (possibly just one group of many). Sort of a "done with that group fo…	/r/seduction	09/10/14 07:24 AM
0	Easy and effective opener So Probably not a good idea to remember names of people who you didn't directly meet yet, even though people are yelling their name across the bar in front of your face and you are casually talking with them and their group. When I know someone's name before having met them, there are two ways to frame it: A) I am highly perceptive and sometimes pick up names when other people address each other (this is sometimes perceived as creepy), or B) They are a person whose reputation precedes them, and …	/r/seduction	09/10/14 07:11 AM
3	Would a major concert for a first date be way too much? So you are saying to be straight forward with my intentions? That's exactly the right idea. You basically want to use phrasing which clearly conveys that you are asking her to go on a date with you, which seems to be exactly what you've done. The actual wording is much less important than the intention behind the words, so the "right" words are whatever best reflects how you feel and your own intentions.	/r/seduction	07/10/14 06:51 AM
3	Would a major concert for a first date be way too much? If you were spending $100 to take someone to a concert for a first date, that would be one thing. But that's not what you're doing, and you should be fine as long as you're clear about what you're doing. Just tell her that you won the tickets and ask if she wants to go with you. she could take it as, 'oh, he had nobody else that would go with him?'" Basically you don't acknowledge it, or just go ahead without any shame. It's like going to bars or clubs alone: if you show up alone and present you…	/r/seduction	07/10/14 06:05 AM
4	Meditation. Is it recommended? I don't "meditate," but I find it really helpful to "disconnect" from the world and have 30 minutes of the day where I'm just allowed to think. During this time, I don't read anything, I don't listen to anything, and I don't engage with anything; usually I will take a walk and let my mind wander. Developing this habit was really helpful for me, because in college I got into the habit of trying to maximize the amount of stimulation I got. I would always be reading a web article or have a TV show …	/r/seduction	07/10/14 05:53 AM
7	How do I build my personality without polarizing it? Only you can really discover the answer to that question. The goal is to become the "best version of yourself." I know what the best version of myself looks like, because I know what my values are, what my personal ambitions are, and what makes me happy. But you? That's going to require a bit of self-examination. I recommend reading this article: Mark Manson - What are your values?. That's higher level stuff, but it's well worth your time. As for the more basic social stuff: I feel like everythi…	/r/seduction	03/10/14 08:37 AM
22	How do I build my personality without polarizing it? How do I build my personality without polarizing it? You want to polarize. If you're trying to appeal to women sexually, you want them to make a definitive yes or no about you early on. A lot of people think that "no" is the enemy of yes, and try to avoid polarizing so that they never have to hear "no." But this doesn't get you any closer to succeeding with women, because in the end, "no" and "maybe" both mean the same thing: she's not going to have sex with you. You don't want to turn "no" into…	/r/seduction	03/10/14 02:57 AM
1	My approach with honesty and unlearning what I had learned (Mark Manson trigger warning). "Attract Women Through Honesty" is literally in the title of the book. So, if that's something you're struggling with, I recommend that you read Models!	/r/seduction	26/09/14 06:53 AM
2	what college classes have the most girls? English Literature and Creative Writing.	/r/seduction	26/09/14 06:48 AM
1	I really don't know what to talk about I can talk about science, philosophy, psychology, politics, religion for hours and hours. But those topics are not "cool" in a club environment. If you really think that topics like science, philosophy, psychology cannot be made "entertaining" for a bar audience, I recommend that you check out some creative non-fiction. Freakonomics is a pretty popular example, or anything by Malcolm Gladwell. The basic crux of creative non-fiction is that people love listening to stories, so you can make any su…	/r/seduction	20/09/14 07:14 AM
3	I understood the concept of seddit, but I always forgot those important points when I got the opportunity to execute my readings. Any tips how to ALWAYS remember doing what I've learnt from seddit, when I was actually dealing with a girl (or anyone)? You may be learning the wrong lessons. If you are trying to memorize a list of steps to perform, you will forget them. If you are trying to memorize an opener, or a specific tease or "neg" word-for-word, you will forget the exact phrasing and stumble over your words. At best, your line will come across as rehearsed and cheesy. If you are trying to memorize steps on a flow chart to guide you through an interaction, you will freeze up and get caught in your brain trying to figure out what happens …	/r/seduction	16/09/14 04:57 PM
2	Advice for men in recovery from alcohol/drug addiction I really recommend watching this talk from Mark Manson on the topic of vulnerability: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxGR-htV6Uw#t=36m36s Specifically this part at 45m minutes in where he discusses the example of a recovered alcoholic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxGR-htV6Uw#t=45m48s Honestly and vulnerability are traits that can enable you to form strong emotional connections. Instead of hiding your weaknesses, acknowledge how they're a part of who you are today. If you explain your own pers…	/r/seduction	15/09/14 04:56 AM
178	FWB is starting to feel used. Advice? You just summed up in your post everything that you need to tell her. "If you're looking for a dating relationship, that's something that I can't provide. The best I could do is pretend, and that might work for a little while, but if I force myself into pretending to be something I'm not, it's only going to wind up causing both of us to get hurt in the end. And because I really do care about you, I want to keep that from happening. If you're happy with what we have right now, I'm happy to stick …	/r/seduction	14/09/14 06:20 AM
5	Thoughts on Meetup.com for new social circles or pick up? I've had good experiences with Meetup.com in several metropolitan areas. I'd say it's definitely worth a shot, though if you live in a smaller city (<100,000 people) it can be spotty (but still worth checking out to see if any decent-sized communities exist near you). I'd say you're definitely the right age however, most groups I've found on meetup.com tend to be people 20-30 years old. Most groups tend to either be interest focused or event focused. Interest focus groups tend to have larger num…	/r/seduction	08/09/14 02:31 AM
4	[College Question] 30 year old going back to college - go easy on me Are you attracted to a woman? If so, you should feel free to approach her. If your advance is unwanted, she has the ability to say no. An 18 year old woman is an adult with the power to make her own decisions. There will be some women who think you are "too old" for them, but let them be the one to make that decision, not you. The question in your mind should not be "I am I appropriate and what's right for her?" Rather, the question should be, "Is she what I want and what's right for me?" (Obvio…	/r/seduction	04/09/14 05:58 AM
17	The "starting strength" of seduction Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength was a life-changing book for me. But for me, Starting Strength was about way more than just "3x5 squat 3x5 press 1x5 dead lift 3 times a week." It's a 300 page book and the entire routine could be printed on a single page, but I continue to recommend the book for people who are interested in beginning lifting. For one thing, the book explains how to perform the basic lifts, so you're not stuck in "don't know how to squat" land. But more (imo) more importantly, t…	/r/seduction	03/09/14 10:55 PM
4	"shut up and be grateful." I think Mark Manson has a right to talk about the way he does because he's tried the "traditional" PUA methods and has experience as a dating coach, so he's seen the industry from both sides, no matter how you slice it he has a hell of a lot more experience than 99% of people. I don't see Mark Manson's criticism of the "PUA community" so much of a "look at those people over there, aren't they sad and pathetic" and more of a "I've been there, and believe me it isn't a pretty place."	/r/seduction	03/09/14 07:20 PM
4	When has seduction advice not worked for you? I think it works on a younger demographic better though but I have no actual experience to confirm that. Here's why I think that is. People who are more experienced (older) can be evaluated on performance. This applies to all things: career performance, social value, etc. Whereas younger people tend to evaluate based on potential. This is why a 23 year old student in medical student is considered to be high value. He's not yet a successful doctor, but nobody's holding that against him because he…	/r/seduction	03/09/14 07:12 PM
1	When has seduction advice not worked for you? The way that this opener is intended to be used is entirely consistent with what you seem to want out of a relationship. As you say, physical attraction is necessary but not sufficient; for example, you may also want a girl who is emotionally available, intellectually stimulating, etc. The conversation that ensues after you open with "Hi, you're cute and I wanted to meet you" is the basis for which you evaluate her emotional availability, her intellect, etc. This is why the opener is "Hi, you're…	/r/seduction	03/09/14 06:47 PM
0	Name drop your own name If you're feeling playful, my favorite technique is to make up a nickname for yourself, and then immediately recant. For example: I'm tired of having such a common name. I'm thinking I should go with something more unique, like "Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies" instead. No? Too silly? Sigh Okay fine, I'll stick to Jason. Another safe way (that also builds rapport by reminding her that you know her by name) is to make a remark about her name, and then make a corresponding remark about your own name.…	/r/seduction	25/08/14 08:03 AM
1	I want to stop drinking How you frame it will make a big difference in how people react. "I don't drink." People perceive you as being a boring person who is probably inexperienced. "I quit drinking." People perceive you as someone who is mature and exercising self-restraint.	/r/seduction	24/08/14 10:18 AM
1	What books should I read? Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength is the best place to start, very simple program that will help you build muscle mass effectively. Mark Rippetoe's book is a good resource if you want to understand the science behind why these lifts yield effective gains, and the book is also a good instructional resource for learning to perform the lifts. But, you can find numerous videos on Youtube demonstrating the various lifts just by searching for 'how to squat' or 'how to military press' or whatever lift …	/r/seduction	23/08/14 07:35 AM
12	College advice pickup tips It really depends on the college. If you are attending a big state school with 20,000 people, you're probably more likely to spend time approaching strangers. At a smaller private college of 5,000 people, you could quite possibly meet nearly all of the quality people on campus through various social circles if you're involved in enough groups. When all your classes are 200-person lecture halls you're inevitably going to have to be meeting people out of class, whereas its easier to meet people th…	/r/seduction	19/08/14 07:25 AM
4	Reading Models by Mark Manson, have some questions on being less invested in girls than they are you. [19M] If you get into a relationship with a girl, it's probably because she saw something in you that she liked. If you try to bed over backwards to appease her (change your interests to match hers, start hanging out with her and her friends more than you hang out with your own friends, mindlessly agree with everything she says with and never have your own opinions), you look like a plastic person. If you become invested to the point that you change who you are to match what you think she wants you to…	/r/seduction	14/08/14 06:12 AM
1	Logistics question I had a similar living situation in college and honestly other dudes in the apartment was never a hindrance. If anything it made it easier since other guys hanging out in the common area gave me an excuse to lead girls directly to my room and escalate from there. It doesn't seem seedy at all as long as your room is clearly more than just a sex location. Like, I kept a TV (facing the bed) and a stocked mini-fridge in my room, various props (guitar, paperback novel collection, laptop with vacation…	/r/seduction	14/08/14 06:01 AM