TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

blearowl Archive

View 0 posts and 76 comments by blearowl on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Stop with that “sorry to bother you stuff”, stop setting yourself on fire to keep people warm. You need to start shoring up your own life and quickly. Find more stable, employment, get a lawyer. You probably need two, a divorce lawyer and an immigration lawyer. Hopefully the divorce lawyer will pay off because if your wife was the main breadwinner then you are likely to be entitled to some support. Possibly there may be groups that help people sort out their immigration status, I’m talking about…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 11:33 PM
20

Why this post, over and over again, word for word?
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 01:58 AM
6

Staying longer also has risks. At least if you move out, she can’t accuse you of domestic violence. You really need the ability to record instantly any heated situation. Personally I have a smart watch that I can get to record sound at the press of a button. If you can genuinely get evidence against her, by all means bide your time, but it is not without risk. Make sure your wife doesn’t suspect you are on to her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 08:35 PM
2

And did.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 01:02 AM
1

Assuming this story is true, I suspect if she lawyers up she will be able to get her hands on done of your money. Especially the money you’ve earned in the last two years. You may still consider a bargain to get rid of her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 01:01 AM
5

You have no idea if she’s happy or not. People only put the glossy stuff on social media.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:24 AM
9

No, you SHOULD grieve. You have lost the woman you thought she was. Take the time to acknowledge that grief. Mourn her like she died. In many ways , she did. The woman you loved is gone and a stranger now walks around in her skin and with her face. But you should still mourn her loss. You will live to love again.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:23 AM
1

Try to persuade your wife to move to a different area.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:15 AM
2

You need to protect your own reputation. Are her family saying bad things about you? Then expose immediately. Are they being discreet? Respectful? Then hold your tongue. If you are asked by other families that might marry her, tell the truth if asked, but attempt to avoid gory details. Maybe have your father give her family this warning.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 05:39 PM
13

No contact is absolutely the way to heal the best.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 04:07 AM
6

You don’t know how long she’s been seeing him. It’s a pretty big breach of his professional ethics as a physiotherapist. You should report him to the professional authorities.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 08:09 AM
13

She’s probably seeing someone on the side if she’s so happy to move out away from her kids. Also the rewriting of history to say she’s been unhappy for eight years also is suggestive of an affair. However, there is some good news here. If she’s anxious to get out of the marriage quickly, you may well be able to negotiate favorable terms to yourself. That’s probably a bit cold considering you’re still digesting the idea of divorce, but you can bet her plans are advanced so you need to catch up qu…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 05:32 AM
1

This is the really important thing. You have no say and no control so there is no point in meeting. The AP may very well antagonize or needle you. You are behaving like you get a veto, but you don’t, OP. Yes do background checks in him. It could help you in court to impugn your wife’s character and judgement. If he’s a criminal, you need to know. But otherwise stay out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 06:23 PM
3

Yeah you do need to tell the wife, I’m rather surprised at people’s attitude. Not for more revenge, but for protection of the wife. Silence is complicity in the affair. Absolutely make sure your agreement is finalized though. You have to protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 03:41 AM
5

The way to win is not to play.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 08:07 AM
2

Punctuation and paragraphs man. Walks of text are very hard to read. But at least it isn’t AI? Is this the world we live in now?
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/25 04:18 PM
7

Punctuation is thing for a reason, man. Use periods and paragraph breaks. This was an unreadable wall of text.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 08:37 AM
8

This is a really sweeping statement that just isn’t accurate across the board. LL has a number of causes and some women just LL just A’s themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 06:55 AM
1

I think the kid will see through it. I also wonder how long she can keep it up considering she can’t normally be bothered.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 02:38 AM
12

Absolutely continue. She's waiting to see how things go with the new guy and hiding it from you. Trust is gone here. You don't mention the causes of the separation, but it's likely because she wanted to see other people.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 07:25 PM
2

Why pay for their advice if you are going to ignore it? The lawyer is meant to be the expert on local laws and court proceedings. The lawyer should know how staying/leaving the house is likely to affect custody and possession of the house. There are risks to staying, but bring perceived to be abandoning the children or the house is also risky. It all depends on the jurisdiction in question. Who knows better than your own lawyer? If you are getting other opinions , they should be other lawyers fr…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 09:28 PM
6

The best advice here is whatever his lawyer says.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 09:11 PM
1

What do you mean by “crucify”? She’s already divorcing you, what more can she do to you? Lose your fear.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 09:04 PM
5

You making her ask is a win for you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 03:02 PM
3

You shouldn’t have even acknowledged it. Stop playing her games!
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 03:00 PM
9

Yeah probably, but either way don’t take the bait. Never comment on it. If she asks you if you noticed that she is working out, just say: “have you?” or “it’s good to be healthy.” And move on. You are the greatest of boring grey rocks to her from now on. Freedom is so very close, keep your cool.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 10:09 AM
29

I think this is called hoovering. She wants to suck you back into her psychodrama. To continue to get her emotional kibbles from messing with you. Best play is no response or the greyest of rocks. “I’m fine, thank you.” (This might be necessary if you are coparenting or something.)
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 02:17 AM
10

Your ex doesn’t get to decide any of it. You can get the paternity test, you can disclose the results or not as you see fit, you can walk away or remain his dad. She can make threats, but court is a different matter. Follow your lawyer’s advice and keep you intentions close to your chest. Your ex can’t react to what she doesn’t know about.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 04:00 AM
2

I assume you already have a lawyer and that you are keeping records of all of this? This is an urgent matter.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 03:31 AM
12

You need a lawyer for all of these things, get one right now.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 07:20 PM
4

Yeah, you get no say in the matter whatsoever. I know a woman who liked her married name much more than her maiden name, and MUCH MUCH more than her husband. She divorced the guy, kept the name. Then got a new guy, but still had her first husband’s name. Actually been with a guy 10+ years, still has ex-husband’s name. The end.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 11:20 AM
11

You are never to blame for someone else's behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 11:24 AM
2

But some of these situations do go on for years. Some affairs continue in secret for decades. The other risk for the other wife is that marital funds are being taken for the affair.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 10:23 PM
2

No that’s not ok, the other wife is being exposed to all kinds of risk and betrayal. It could be years before she discovers the truth. People who help hide the affair are complicit. The first betrayed spouse is entitled to protect themselves while the divorce is pending, but after that it’s immoral to keep the other wife in the dark.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 09:32 PM
1

It sounds like the wife is driving the timing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 10:57 PM
11

It sounds like the longer you wait the more expensive it will get. Fix your relationship or get divorced, but do it now. There's no advantage to delay.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 01:51 AM
3

Mild?! My friend, OP sounds like an absolute smothering nightmare. Even by his own account. And that thing with the knife…? Eek. Not trying to kick you when you are down, OP, but you know you have a lot of work to do on yourself. I don’t know what will happen with your marriage, but either way your goal should be to get a lot better and on a more even keel emotionally. Therapy is definitely the way to go. Your best chance with your wife is to let go. Maybe she will see the improvements and, give…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 07:16 PM
3

Duuude, no. Can’t you just live separately in the house for a couple of years for the kid? And then get out? Sounds like she doesn’t even like you and you are over her crap. Honestly, I’m excited for you, there’s so much happiness in life in the other side of this. Get out as soon as you can.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 07:07 PM
12

Tell her to go and have fun, but don't come back.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 10:06 AM
11

*break your heart
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 08:17 AM
8

She was probably looking to move on to somebody else and then her prospects did seem as good after all. I don’t know if she was actually having an affair, but it’s likely. The blowing hot and cold thing makes it seem like that. Be careful about being painted as the cheater. This should make you hesitate less about telling family and close friends what really happened.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 01:24 AM
1

It sounds like you are leaving him anyway, so what difference does it make? Why rub his nose in it? It’s effectively just you cheating anyway after making your vows to be faithful to him for life. So just admit you want a change to see what’s out there. I hope you’ll discover that in the long run the grass is greenest where you water it. I really don’t get how women so often after years of marriage to men, suddenly “discover” they are gay? Women’s sexuality appears to be endlessly fluid. As a ma…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 10:33 PM
3

There’s a difference between being attracted to women and saying you are outright going to date/sleep with them. I’m assuming it was not an open marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 09:12 AM
1

Play hardball on the prenup, maybe get your lawyer to do the talking - just though underline the point that she is talking to YOUR lawyer not hers. The prenup is for you not her. If she balks then you have your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 08:22 AM
1

You’re missing the part where he’s 17? Yes, it probably won’t be able to be altered before his 18th if what you say is right, but his mommy can’t claim custody after that in most of the world.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 08:09 AM
1

A year or two? You mean when the kid is 19? Totally moot point less than a year from now.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 07:07 AM
2

I don’t think you should randomly disparage her. But if you have solid evidence of an affair, that’s different. If there's no affair, then keep quiet.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 07:22 AM
5

This was my thought too. She met someone else. That’s why she picked the fight three weeks ago, that’s why she allows no way back. Time for OP to do some snooping to get to the bottom of what she’s up to. He should tell the kids too if he finds the dirt.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 01:30 AM
1

R=reconciliation Go to r/survivinginfidelity
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 10:29 PM
5

It sounds like a DARVO attempt. But I any case if she wanted R she would need to give you unfettered access to ALL devices on demand, no questions asked. Boundaries are for you to set, not her. I think the above is a moot point, however, as she is not giving up her AP, so just work out the separation no R. She is going to try to blame you, refuse to accept this or any of her terms that make you accept blame for HER affair. You need to inform your family and hers before she gets to work damaging …
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 09:09 PM
6

You don’t get HIV by kissing. It’s 2024, educate yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 08:44 PM
6

The only reason not to tell the is to use this information as a bargaining chip. You may need it with a custody battle coming up. But don’t promise to keep her dirty secrets that’s makes you complicit in the affair. Tell when you are able.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 06:10 PM
2

Yeah divorce and harebrained schemes are a bad mix. Get a lawyer for sure. You want to make you get a clean break without borrowing trouble from the future - especially as having a criminal record and being a lawyer don’t mix well,
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 07:36 AM
9

I hope you have custody of your child if she’s out hooking up with drug dealers. Remind her that her interactions with you should be about your child and nothing else. Don’t allow her to drag you back into her drama.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 08:37 PM
0

It sounds like the wife is in material breach of her vows over many years, so I don’t think we should stand for OP being guilted back to her on her terms. The wife needs to earn back his trust over time. It sounds like his gut knows she can’t be trusted. His children need good examples to follow. A father declaring certain behavior to be out of bounds and refusing to tolerate disrespect is a great example to follow. A loveless relationship full of contempt would be a terrible example.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 03:32 PM
21

100% love x 0% trust = 0% relationship Onwards and upwards my friend!
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 08:05 PM
0

Yeah, I can understand why you might feel that way, but fathers do win, and they do so by collecting evidence step by step and hiring a female lawyer who breathes fire. In the meantime, you need to teach your daughter who’s boss.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 06:38 PM
2

You don’t go to prison for well founded complaints to the authorities and courts. You can get in trouble for saying and doing stupid things to her. Start collecting data and making records of this behavior then consult an attorney. Decide accordingly. However I’ve gotta say, you should be aware that your default position is passivity. This invites the disrespect that your daughter is displaying. And if your kids are being abused by your ex-wife then passivity is not ok. You have to make a judgem…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 06:23 PM
3

If she’s slapping and abusing them why aren’t you reporting this to CPS and going for full custody?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 05:34 PM
8

OP is not trying to be friends with his STBXW, he flat out wants her back. The wife however wants to be with another man, why else get a divorce? I don’t know if she has one yet, but OP needs to be prepared for the moment she announces one. He absolutely should not give her good terms in the divorce to keep her favor as that would reward betrayal and will not get her back. On the contrary, it would encourage her disrespect. Now I’m friends with a number of my ex girlfriends, but it takes getting…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 09:15 PM
2

That’s something your sons should know I think.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 01:18 AM
6

Be careful about protecting her reputation, she’ll need to throw you under the bus to protect hers. What did she need all the money for? She may well be up to many secret activities that required funds and, if that’s the case she’s going to look bad. That means she’ll need to find ways to blame you- particularly in the eyes of your sons. You owe your boys the truth. Don’t tell them things you suspect, but anything you know for sure may have to be disclosed. If you’re getting divorced she’s not y…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 10:05 PM
6

I say get as mad as you want, this kind of behavior from her is unacceptable. It’s either a power tactic or she has a cheater’s mind herself. Both are awful. If she demands space, tell her can have all the space she wants, she just must understand that the break will be permanent.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 06:03 PM
1

That would be a no from me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 11:25 PM
1

The more you can go no contact with her and not see the more you can start to heal.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 12:55 AM
1

Well that being the case, get your exit plans lined up and pull the rip cord at the right time for you
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 09:52 PM
4

Well I suggest that you keep working on yourself. If she sees you become the man she married again, maybe she’ll change her mind. But you can’t do the work for that reason, because nothing is guaranteed and she’s really checked out already. But if you are working on yourself that is an end in itself and that’s where your positive future lies. Try to keep the door open for her, but don’t press too hard. She is enforcing her space But… …you need to be prepared. She may already be looking into seei…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 04:04 AM
1

Fake McFakeson.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 05:24 PM
2

I would just say “sure, sure”
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 05:16 AM
2

What were her additional requests? Are they things you can easily concede later or are they very material things.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 10:21 PM
1

Do it, but only share important things with your ex like criminal convictions etc. Don’t ask your ex for data to check.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 01:21 AM
2

As much as it sucks you don’t get a say in when your ex gets a new partner, nor when they introduce them to kids. I’ve heard of many situations where the co-parents agree not to introduce new partners for a certain period of time only for that agreement to be totally disrespected.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 12:54 AM
5

Under no circumstances should you cave. Get the divorce finalized. If you want to take her back in the future you have legally established what is yours. But honestly why do you want her back? Because she has done a lot of work on herself? Because she has written you heart-felt letters taking responsibility for all that she has done? Because friends and family are testifying to you that she is a changed woman? I’ll bet the answers are no, no, and no. You just miss the things you fell in love wit…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 10:42 PM
1

The genders here are SUPER confusing!! Using he/she/wife interchangeably. It would really help to put your description in for example: me ( 35m) , wife (33FtM), AP (30MTF) etc I can’t even read it without that clarification. But what I can say is you need to stop paying attention to what your soon to be ex spouse is doing and focus solely on how childcare and the split of assets are going to be arranged. Stop taking about all that sexual and religious stuff, it’s not relevant. You need to split …
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 01:02 AM
1

Every storm passes, my friend. You will have plenty of both good and bad days in the future and you have every right to fight for good outcomes. Mourn your losses, lick your wounds, and start planning something great!
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 10:51 PM
1

This could be considered hiding assets and could get someone in real trouble if it was discovered by the courts.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 11:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter