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blimblamp Archive

View 4 posts and 124 comments by blimblamp on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I guess my dilemma is that hanging out and chilling at her place all the time is really nice and makes both of us happy (for now). She fucks me a lot and it's awesome. I don't really have a problem nexting her when the tingles wear off. I don't have to put in any work at all for this relationship and I'm getting everything I want out of it. I don't really see the need to put in more effort because of all of this. She's like my blue pill tampon. I realize this won't be a lasting relationship beca…
/r/askMRP29/05/17 08:33 PM
1

Not going to lie, upping n-count with attractive women has been hard. I have some pretty hardcore bluepill conditioning that makes it hard for me to be touchy on girls. Both in terms of "I have a right to not be touched without consenting to it" feminist bullshit and also in terms of lacking confidence to escalate hard. I've also lost a lot of patience with Tinder and similar apps because the hottest girls on there take so much fucking effort to just meet up with me. And when they do meet up wit…
/r/askMRP29/05/17 08:26 PM
1

You're right, I do want the blue pill fantasy. And it's been so easy to get it with this girl so far. It will wear off, of course, and I've sort of come to terms with that. I have no problem nexting this girl despite liking her a lot. But I think I'm in a better place now to get back on the red pill wagon thanks to the MRP calling me out.
/r/askMRP29/05/17 08:16 PM
1

To clarify, it's unattractive to just chill with a girl? All my interactions with her have to be high effort dates going out and doing stuff, then coming home to fuck, then leaving? I'm not sure I've come across this mentality here before.
/r/askMRP29/05/17 08:13 PM
1

I've been lifting consistently since I started reading MRP back in late 2016. It does make a big difference. I don't regret not trying more with my ex. It would have been like trying to learn to fly a plane by starting with one that's on fire. I needed a kick in the ass to get back to learning the right red pill mentality and from here on out I think it's something I'll better about. It's just been a hard half year for me since the breakup and I desperately wanted to avoid red pill talk because …
/r/askMRP29/05/17 08:10 PM
1

Good explanation, thanks.
/r/askMRP29/05/17 08:06 PM
1

In retrospect even the manliest red pill alpha wouldn't have saved my last relationship. I did a shit job trying to work it out but frankly it's for the best it didn't work out. I've been recovering from an 11 year shit relationship and slipping back to blue pill. I needed a kick in the ass which is why I posted here. Thanks.
/r/askMRP29/05/17 08:06 PM
1

Haha. Just complacency I guess. I'm new to dating and this is the first girl I've gotten more serious with since I broke up with my ex. Everything is so easy during the honeymoon phase. Red pill is/was hard and it's easy to be a beta with this girl and she still seems to love me regardless. Aside from the few occasions where the situation in the OP has come up, it's been sex filled awesomeness. And even then the makeup sex is great. I am sure eventually the tingly will wear off for her and histo…
/r/askMRP29/05/17 08:04 PM
1

We were going back to her place to netflix and chill. There is definitely a lot of domestication, but is that a bad thing? I know the red pill tactic is having plates and multiple women and not getting trapped in relationships, but if I find someone that makes me happy 95% of the time, fucks my brains out, and is generally making my life much more awesome, I don't see the issue in spending a lot of time with her. I accept that my behavior might cause this to not work out long term, but I am fine…
/r/askMRP28/05/17 07:23 PM
0

So essentially I just have to accept that I need to deal with her bitchiness when I hold my frame and refuse to roll over for her? It's just a difficult choice because stopping at the store is a mild inconvenience for 30 minutes, versus a shit storm of drama for 48 hours. I guess in the long term holding my frame will work out better, but it's just a crappy trade-off.
/r/askMRP28/05/17 07:08 PM
2

I honestly don't remember what it was, it wasn't period related. It was like a special type of laundry detergent for her sensitive skin and she needed to do laundry that night because she was going on a trip the next day or something. On one hand, her lack of planning is not my issue. On the other hand, I feel like an asshole when we're literally passing the store and I'd essentially just be dropping her off for her to then get in her car and drive back to where she just was. The plan was to go …
/r/askMRP28/05/17 07:05 PM
1

I'm not going to lie - my breakup was really difficult. MRP was a big part of my life at the time and continuing to read the material made me miserable because it continued to remind me how I felt with my ex, which I'm still not entirely healed from. So yes, I admit, I stopped reading and stopped paying as much attention as I should.
/r/askMRP28/05/17 07:01 PM
2

It's a normal thought process. Most guys are fat and gross and worthless at 40. Being the exception isn't hard, it just requires putting in the work.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 10:54 PM
2

Oh I see. Cool.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 08:34 PM
1

This is a bit old but it's something I've thought about recently as I'm chatting with women on Tinder. The girls who are still in college are too young for me at the same age as you. They're bouncing from cock to cock and don't want to settle down. They haven't felt the burden of what it's like to have a real job and have to pay rent. It's better to meet women who have had their teeth kicked in a bit by reality and who are done riding the CC. The 21 year old at a party school expects free dinner…
/r/askMRP20/12/16 07:34 PM
2

I couldn't help but think about your comments in the past as I was going through it. I wouldn't say they changed my motivation at all, but it was just sort of a funny thing in the back of my head the whole time.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 07:26 PM
2

That's fair. My plan is to push my comfort zone in new, positive ways. Previously I was pushing my comfort zone towards things I didn't want and having to come to terms with a lot of negative things.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 07:16 PM
2

That's fair. I know my post isn't exactly fitting the legitimate narrative of this sub. I wouldn't call anything I've gone through, tinder date included, as a dopamine rush though. More just the lessening of crippling anxiety :)
/r/askMRP20/12/16 07:12 PM
1

I keep some details ambiguous and misleading and change minor things to remain anonymous better. You're not going crazy. I do have a lease on our home to worry about but I think at most I'm out of pocket like $5k to cover what remains on that. Chump change compared to a real divorce.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 07:10 PM
3

I think this would work if you follow rules 1 and 2 really hard. Overwhelmingly the feedback I've heard from women is that it's pretty creepy to invite them over without going somewhere public first. Rules don't apply to hot guys obviously, though. I don't think I'm that hot yet.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 07:01 PM
1

Yeah I need to go use OKCupid or something. Tinder is just the lowest effort and the UX is more fun. I knew it wasn't going to lead to anything because I wasn't escalating at all. I was fine with that. I'm just trying to get out there and push my comfort zone. I wasn't trying to get laid, and even if she offered, I would have turned it down. I've read more TRP-centric stuff in the past and the gist I've read is that you need to immediately have that physical affection and you need to be constant…
/r/askMRP20/12/16 06:57 PM
3

I've never been single as an adult either. Nerves were gone pretty quick, it's always the build up to an actual event that's worrying for me. And I think even that will get better with exposure. I didn't really make any attempts to be affectionate and maybe she was expecting at least a little bit but I don't really know. It seems like first meetings with Tinder are really more meet and greet than date. Of course the people who are DTF probably the exception. It just feels so weird to flirt let a…
/r/askMRP20/12/16 12:21 PM
12

I literally just hit subscribe when it showed 9,999. Refresh page, 10,000. Where's my sticker? edit: lol at flair
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/16 04:32 PM
1

What is it with a hobby or interest that you just could not live without ? I don't think I have one. I have hobbies that I'm pretty actively engaged in, but if someone offered me a million dollars to never do it again I'd jump at it.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 10:43 PM
1

If I stay with her and have kids in a few years, it is absolutely not the life I envisioned for myself. I think I would have a lot of regrets on my deathbed. I've been diagnosed with depression and it used to be really bad (10+ years ago). I feel like it's not as bad as it used to be and isn't much of an issue anymore. My biggest problem is getting over the anti-social behavior I've had my entire life. I think things will continue to improve as my socializing improves. I don't have anyone in rea…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 10:39 PM
1

You're not wrong. She's not especially attractive. HB6.5 maybe. She has many times stated I'm more attractive than her. I don't think she's wrong.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 10:35 PM
1

Your wife was never interested in you, unlike some of the wives of the alphas turned betas turned alphas again. She is disinterested in your time. I think this is pretty true. We got married way young. We still are both young. N=1 for both of us. I've never even had a hand job from any other woman. My wife is a pretty devout feminist and man hater and has said word for word "I am not interested in sex and never will be" which of course needs to have "with you" and "right now" added to the end. A…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 10:33 PM
1

Around 15% BF, lifting heavy (for me) 3x a week. Really intense for a bit over a month now, but still also did weaker workouts consistently most of my life. I am in good shape but need to add more muscle. I am eating more to accomplish that.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 10:22 PM
1

You dont want other people to not like you, so you make yourself miserable to prevent that from happening. You make up excuses and are not true to yourself and to others. This is really true. I've been wanting excuses so I can leave and not feel bad about it. So I can feel more confident in making the right decision. So I can have a clean conscious about it. I will keep this in mind and try my best to target it when re-reading those.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 10:13 PM
1

I don't really know how I would define my standards. I think in order to do this, I'd need to find some sort of purpose in life. My entire life I've felt like there's a silhouette of a beautiful woman in my mind that just needs to be matched to someone I meet, and she'd make me complete. Obviously that's bullshit. I am still working out where to go from here now that I've learned that.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:54 PM
1

It seems like post-divorce I'd at least be making the mistakes with someone who adds value to my life, even if it's only fleeting. Right now I'm making mistakes with someone who's a huge drain on my life. There's billions of women, I think I can stand to cross a few off the list while I make mistakes.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:52 PM
1

Ok. I won't go nuking it today and try to give myself plenty of time to consider this before doing anything.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:50 PM
1

Maybe not pissed off. There might be some anger. There was a lot of anger earlier. I think it's more just disappointment and hurt fee-fees but I've largely gotten over it. I don't believe any woman will ever love me for me, but I know I can get much better women in my life when I've taken the effort to be a better man and I don't see any reason why I shouldn't.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:48 PM
1

She doesn't know because complaining is unattractive and isn't the positive, upbeat attitude MRP tells me to strive for. And moving isn't an option for her due to reasons I can't really go into to help stay anonymous. So complaining wouldn't accomplish anything. I am lonely getting over oneitis. It's a positive trend though. It's getting better. I didn't expect to read a book and instantly feel better. Depression - not sure. I would lean towards no. If she cares, it's only to the extent she woul…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:44 PM
1

I appreciate all comments, but I don't respond when I feel like I don't have anything meaningful to add. You make a good point about fancy cars being a betabux magnet. Canary in a Coal Mine, you not where you think you are....... I appreciate you pointing this out. I feel like the general response here is that I'm not ready. I don't fully understand why I need to be ready. I don't value my wife or our marriage. I don't really want to fix it. I want out. I am not seeing how this will impede my MR…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:40 PM
3

Out of curiosity, what makes you feel like I have little frame? When it comes time to initiate divorce, you won't have to ask, you'll know through and through, right down to your bones. I certainly hope so, but this hasn't been the case for anything in my life really. I feel like sometimes you just have to jump and know you'll get your wings on the way down.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:35 PM
1

To clarify, I don't think I'm a beta loser anymore. I think I have a long way to go, but at the very least I am more alpha-than-average. I know with continued work I will be a great guy by MRP standards.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:34 PM
1

I've read both, but could stand to re-read. I make a point say "this makes me feel bad" even when I know logically it shouldn't to help explain why I need help figuring out how to approach what is probably not that difficult. Controlling emotions isn't a switch I can turn off, it's something I have to work towards. In the mean time I still need to figure out the best approach for this. Thanks for your help. I think the in the long run I will be happier with your advice. I need to own this as my …
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:29 PM
2

I don't really want to have sex with my current wife, even if she was willing/wanting to give me porn star sex. I valued my wife so much because of oneitis. I thought she was an AWALT exception. I thought she'd always love me for me. Now that realize the relationship for what it is, she has no value to me anymore. I've had to kick myself in the ass, make major changes, come to terms with hypergamy and "it's just your turn", and come to see my wife as someone who actively resents me. The reasons …
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:22 PM
1

Thanks, this is the sort of feedback I was looking for. you are not ready to start a family I want to try to remain amiable to some of our mutual friends. I feel like if I say this, after previously having said I am good with it, would be a lot of ammunition for her to make me look shitty. I feel like it's better to blame the unhealthy relationship. It's not that I'm not ready, it's that I'm not ready in our present relationship or with her specifically. I take some solace in that she'll probabl…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 09:01 PM
1

I can't really be specific because I want to retain a level of anonymity, but it's pretty beside the point.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 08:15 PM
3

Does it really matter, though? Why do I need to stay in a bad relationship to improve my frame? If I say "cya" and leave and never really talk to her again, it doesn't matter if I'm not entirely in my own frame.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 07:56 PM
1

You seem wishy washy. In what way? Genuinely asking. In terms of flip flopping over whether to call it quits on the relationship? I agree with that.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 07:55 PM
3

Well, also not wanting to throw away 10-20% of my net worth to leave a few months earlier is a big part of it.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 07:54 PM
0

Yes, I've been a beta loser for the entire relationship. I know the fault of the relationship is me. I know all future relationships will also be shitty if I don't fix myself first. I have no doubt of that. I will absolutely continue working on myself, I just don't really want to continue doing it in a sham of a relationship that doesn't add anything positive to my life. I am sick of my job and I am sick of this city, and I really just want to move on with my life both mentally and in terms of r…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 07:52 PM
1

And to clarify, you shouldn't be running game on her. She shouldn't be in your life at all right now unless she agrees to your terms for the kids. Otherwise it will be impossible for you to get out of this rut, because everything is on her terms and in her frame.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 07:02 PM
1

feeds into her anti-inlaw nature. So? Why do you care? Ignore it. Don't respond. So pretend like it never happened? Still run game and still be a leader and still DNGAF? Yep. She's doing her own thing. That shouldn't bother you. Act like you don't care, and while acting, work towards actually not caring. You'll get there eventually if you stick with it. You've set your terms. Either she'll accept them or she won't. You can bend the knee and accept that you're a beta faggot and try to work someth…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 06:58 PM
2

And when she does her own thing, don't say anything. Don't care. Don't react on it. Don't ever bring it up. Convey to her that you don't give a shit. You're happier without her and her bullshit. If she doesn't want to be part of your plans, that's her loss.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 06:24 PM
1

I provide a logical response WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. That is not STFU. That is DEERing. Why are you even talking to her? Discuss logistics only with her, and if she tries to repeat a discussion where you already set down the terms, ignore it. Unless she's saying "ok I will do it your way" then there's literally nothing to say to her right now.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 06:20 PM
1

TLDR: You care too much about what she says and does. This entire post is about her and what she's doing. You need to get over this. Work on IDGAF attitude, fake it until you make it. This is part of what people mean when they say you need to work on your frame. Do things for yourself, live life on your own terms. If someone doesn't want those terms, be willing to walk and absolutely follow through with walking. When you quit caring about what she does, you'll have made the first step.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 06:19 PM
1

If you do it, don't do it for the 20 year olds. Do it for yourself. I had an epiphany a few nights about how fucking short life is. I am unhappy in my relationship and have had doubts about it literally from the start. I've never manned up enough to do anything about it. I'm frankly happy my wife finally started becoming so distant and crappy. It's the only thing that shook me enough to wake up and realize I need to get out. If you have doubts, jump. You only live once. Your kid in college will …
/r/askMRP31/10/16 06:13 PM
1

Well if you want it to work with MRP you better get started using MRP, because it doesn't sound like you are at all.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 06:09 PM
1

I am doing it with wife because giving her constant situations to reject me looks shitty and means I'm always in her frame. I don't really care if we spend time together right now. She can come to me if she wants to, or she can be distant and bitchy. It's whatever.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/16 07:44 PM
1

I wouldn't say I'm negative or a being a downer around her. I probably vary between neutral and somewhat up-beat. I am definitely ignoring her and doing my own thing, though. It used to be I had to go to her for us to interact at all. I had to go to her for attention/affection. And she would often act annoyed or too busy and reject me. I stopped all of that, and as a result there's really little interaction and attention between us. I felt like this was being too much in her frame. She controlle…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/16 07:39 PM
1

What's the difference between a friend and a wife? One of them fucks you and helps take care of the kids. The other doesn't.
/r/askMRP27/10/16 07:06 PM
1

And I agree on the need to focus on social stuff. It is by faaar my biggest shortcoming. I am fine with guys, especially guys I have shared interests with. But it's so god damn hard to find the balls to approach women. I know I will get shot down, everyone does, and I've never really had to face that in my life. I've always kept people at arm's length because I didn't want to seem like I cared if they rejected me. I am essentially having to confront my biggest fear in life that I've managed to p…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/16 06:55 PM
1

At this point I am leaning towards divorce. I vary constantly in how confident I am. Sometimes she's great and I feel less than 50% sure. Sometimes she's terrible and I'm 100% sure. After discovering AWALT, the facade that I had something special with my wife and that she was someone I could be 100% honest with and 100% myself has broken. Since I've lost that (or realized I never had it) it doesn't make sense to stay together anymore. If I'm going to spending all this time and effort to better m…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/16 06:43 PM
2

Yet things in Switzerland were fine. I laughed out loud at this. I'm going to remember this. We should all strive to be Switzerland.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/16 02:49 PM
7

Let this be a lesson in AWALT. They're so predictable that men who have never met her can accurately guess exactly what she's going to do.
/r/askMRP27/10/16 02:21 PM
1

Looks like you're on the right track and being very mindful.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 11:34 PM
1

Time since starting MRP: 13 weeks Frame: I've been focusing a lot on IDGAF because it's all I can really do to keep my sanity. I've been distant and aloof, trying to disengage from my oneitis emotionally and mentally. My wife has brief moments of seeming to actually care that I pretty much always ignore her, to being especially distant and cold herself. This is as expected. My plan is to do my own thing, work on myself, and ignore my wife because she's a very negative influence in my life. Ego: …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 03:41 PM
1

Holy shit dude this site is awesome. Thanks so much!
/r/TheRedPill20/10/16 10:40 PM
10

If your wife wants to cheat on you, she doesn't need to go to a convention to do it. She'll do it regardless. She's at home all day without you, literally any day she could do it. Quit being jealous and clingy.
/r/askMRP19/10/16 09:08 PM
2

Because she's extremely stubborn, anti-authoritarian, and feminist. It is against her moral code to go crawling back and begging a man to move back in regardless of how much she wants it. She will hamster wheel any desire she has to do that into resentment for me and how this is my fault and I'm selfish and she doesn't want anything to do with any of that. And all of her friends are gossipy hens who will just make an echochamber for her and reinforce this. TLDR: She doesn't value me, and in prev…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/16 07:32 PM
2

Pretty sure my wife would just resent me so much she wouldn't want me back. Lots of work for me to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/16 05:37 PM
1

How did moving out work for you? I have considered the idea myself to help ease the transition of breaking up with her, but it also sounds like a pussy move if my ultimate intention is to break up anyway. It seems like it should just be a clean break rather than beating around the bush.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/16 03:58 PM
1

Agreed. Tell them they can have their phones out when they get a job and are supporting a family. Until then teenager needs to STFU and listen or get phone replaced with a $10 burner.
/r/askMRP19/10/16 02:54 PM
1

this is where you ought to start To what end? What should I be trying to get out of doing this? Confidence? Perspective? Reducing oneitis? All of the above?
/r/askMRP18/10/16 04:30 PM
1

I am honestly afraid of being the bad guy. We have a lot of shared friends and I know they'll side with her and I know she'll be bullshitting about the circumstances. I respect and care about her parents a lot and it'd kill me to know they believe something bad about me or the way I treated their daughter. I wish there was a way to leave without hurting her or ruining friendships with a lot of people.
/r/askMRP18/10/16 04:19 PM
1

Yes, it's the material I've leaned on the most. I'm at level 5 right now aside from applying kino to my wife. Frankly I don't want to because I'm still pretty angry. Just started reading about 6 and considering whether I'd do 7, but honestly I would feel sort of shitty doing level 7 because it goes against my morals. I don't have a moral code written out or anything, but I know I'd feel guilty and shameful, and I choose to follow that feeling. Plus what happens when I close the deal? Some lady a…
/r/askMRP18/10/16 04:12 PM
1

I mean, I do, because right now I have a lot of angst over what to do. It would solve my problem very cleanly and I would never have any doubt over whether I did the right thing. I know if I leave she'd be on the cock carousel in no time, so if it starts while we're still together I honestly don't see the difference. She's already betrayed the relationship in my opinion by being so negligent and generally having zero appreciation for me (not that I care, because it'd be a CC). I strongly suspect…
/r/askMRP18/10/16 04:03 PM
1

prelude: 3 months into my MAP, went too fast, had serious problems. Like what? Her doing too many comfort tests/lashing out like you described, or something else? I am going pretty fast, but frankly it's because I don't really have the patience for this relationship. She can keep comfort and shit testing me, I don't really give a shit. If she doesn't catch up in the next 10 months or so, she's out. I don't care whether or not a year total is enough time for her.
/r/askMRP18/10/16 03:58 PM
1

maybe she's responding to pre-existing butthurt Very likely. She remembers the "I'm neglected" bullshit from months ago. She will sometimes make poor attempts at spending time together (when I'm working, just got home and exhausted, or other bad times) which she never used to do. She knows she needs to make the effort, but somehow manages to only make that effort when I don't want to spend time with her right that second. I am not sure how conscious that is. Maybe it lets her hamster wheel "I tr…
/r/askMRP18/10/16 03:56 PM
1

I used to be so afraid of her cheating on me (I am/was the jealous type but working on that). But yesterday I saw someone in /r/redpill said "I don't care if she cheats, if she does that means I get to upgrade" and it really rang true for me. If I had any good excuse to leave right now, I would. If I saw nudes texted to another man today, my shit would be out of the home by midnight today. There are tons of women out there, I'm not a bad catch myself, and I can find someone who actually values a…
/r/askMRP18/10/16 03:45 PM
2

The problem is that so often the comfort tests come at our very next interaction after something relatively disrespectful. She leaves all evening and we don't see each other all day, then the next morning comfort tests me as I'm leaving for work. It's like she knows (consciously or not) that she's being negligent and distant and is trying to make herself feel better by getting me to reassure that I love her and I'm not mad at her. I don't want to reassure her that her shitty behavior is somethin…
/r/askMRP18/10/16 03:41 PM
1

I'm at about the two month point. I'm honestly leaning more towards leaving than staying right now (no kids, which makes it easy), so IDGAF levels are off the chart and it's a pretty big change because only 4 months ago I was telling her how neglected I felt (which of course accomplished literally nothing positive). So it makes sense that MRP stuff is just now starting to show some effects.
/r/askMRP18/10/16 03:24 PM
3

Depends on the state, but "common law marriage" is a thing even if you never went to the court house. If there are kids involved, even if they're not yours, you can be on the hook for child support if you ever supported them during your relationship. I am not sure on alimony and division of assets for common law, but I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't situations where the guy still got fucked.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/16 08:18 PM
1

Conversation is easy: just ask questions. People like talking about themselves. I think "Win Friends..." book covers this. Read that. Don't force tons of conversation up front. Spark it, wait for the response. If the person seems into it, continue asking questions. If they answer but don't really elaborate any more on it, sit for a minute and try another spark. If the disinterested trend continues, just continue the silence. It won't be as awkward if you don't front load the interaction so much.
/r/askMRP30/09/16 08:13 PM
6

Rushing into what it definitely going to be a shitty marriage just because some old people might croak before it is the dumbest fucking thing. Fuck that. I just wanted to make sure she understood the wedding wasn't an option without a change. The only change that needs to happen here is you. All you did is make things worse with this because she might try "faking it" until the wedding, and then giving up harder than ever afterwards. My wife is the same as yours. She may as well be asexual. She s…
/r/askMRP30/09/16 02:55 PM
1

Sounds like she was trying to shift the burden off herself.
/r/askMRP30/09/16 02:43 PM
2

Literally paying your wife for sex like some sort of whore is a huge huge turnoff for her. She has no respect for you when you do that. It makes you look desperate and shitty. If she hard "no"s you, leave and do something else. Jack it later without her. Even bullshit like trading a massage for sex is weak as hell. I used to do that pre-unplugging. Fuck that.
/r/askMRP30/09/16 02:36 PM
1

impair his relationships with others but they aren't. and yet you're on the edge of divorcing him over it.
/r/askMRP27/09/16 08:07 PM
1

It's just my opinion - I wouldn't be happy with someone like that. Everyone is different. Maybe you'd be fine with it, but it sounds like you're not. You're unhappy he doesn't appreciate what you do, and he never will because that's who he is. He's always going to be emotionally unstable, flipping back and forth to happy/sad extremes instantly. I don't think narcissists would make very good fathers if they can't put anyone else first. He won't ever change. This is a personality disorder. There's…
/r/askMRP27/09/16 08:04 PM
1

I am not a doctor, I don't know your husband, but he overwhelmingly sounds like a narcissist. Read the first paragraph of the wikipedia article on it and it's almost identical to what you've said here. If it weren't for all the effort you've put into this I'd think you were trolling because it's so spot-on. I would absolutely run. Narcissists never change and sometimes just get worse. Read the raisedbynarcissists subreddit I linked earlier and you'll find examples of your husband in there and ho…
/r/askMRP27/09/16 05:02 PM
1

Do I keep initiating the touching and kissing in the face of the disinterest? Yes, if you can legitimately pull off not seeming butthurt when she continues to reject you. Touch and kiss because you want to. Act amused when she acts annoyed. She can't flat-out tell you to stop touching her because that means you're officially roommates instead of spouses and it's time for divorce. She just told me how she didn't want to run to the store for something, and I said I will go for her. Wrong. If it wa…
/r/askMRP26/09/16 02:49 PM
0

Don't make efforts to show her you care. The point is to do IDGAF. Spend time with her when you want to. Invite her to stuff if you want. Or don't if you don't want to. If your wife is insecure, that's her problem. You don't exist to pander to her low self-esteem.
/r/askMRP26/09/16 02:43 PM
2

If your husband has an issue with you masturbating then that's fucked up. It doesn't sound like he does, but you seemed a little unsure. Never feel bad about masturbating as long as it's not negatively affecting sex life. I didn't put down your husband to rain on his parade, just to help you see that you're not exactly getting left in the dust. If he possesses both narcissistic and good beta qualities is it still a bad idea to stay? Really only you can make that call. You can checkout this subre…
/r/askMRP26/09/16 02:33 PM
1

Why do you go with low-fat options? It typically just means more sugar per serving and you're missing out on healthy fats.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/16 05:47 PM
2

What's wrong with cheese/yogurt/peanuts? They have tons of healthy fats and are high calories if getting a lot of calories in is important.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/16 05:46 PM
2

Do you abuse adderall?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/16 05:45 PM
2

As someone with a lot of business experience, let me say this: The likelihood that your husband will become a millionaire from his business is tremendously small. So, so small. Recording studios are not a lucrative business, and your husband doesn't exactly have a track record of great decision making. It's hard to get a real answer out of him Remember how in the exact post you're replying to, I said women seem unable to grasp that all a man really wants is a lot of good sex, good food, and some…
/r/askMRP25/09/16 05:32 PM
1

In the US, most people would find it normal for you to dance with other women as long as the dancing is not overtly sexual. Grinding a woman's ass is not ok. Salsa is fine, even if it has occasional raunchy elements. Your wife and her family may have different opinions depending on where she is from. If it's a problem because of her culture, you just have to make the decision how much you wish to respect that culture versus how much you want to live in the culture you want. Yes, your wife should…
/r/askMRP25/09/16 04:54 PM
1

Doing things for him and expecting anything in return, even appreciation, is a covert contract. You can't have these. Don't do those things for him, do them for yourself. Feel good about being such an excellent provider and having to go against societal norms to wear the pants and take charge. Awesome people who manage this are often never appreciated it. Just got to accept that. Don't have expectations about it. It's funny to see you afraid of his commitment, because that fear is exactly what g…
/r/askMRP25/09/16 04:11 PM
1

It sounds like you have social anxiety. I know that exact feeling - the fear of upsetting people. Fear of conflict. Fear that something bad or embarrassing might happen. What worked for me and what works for most people is just exposure - get out a lot, meet new people a lot, go to a lot of different places. I got my confidence back really quickly doing this and most of the anxiety is gone. Just talk to the women and have a conversation rather than trying PUA. Try to be their friend, don't try o…
/r/askMRP25/09/16 03:47 PM
2

It's also more than just the things you do. It's your attitude. Uptight to me means you have an ego and you're trying to protect it. You care about what others thinks about you a lot. You don't express yourself very much in fear of being judged. You don't leave your comfort zone very much. These are weak traits in a man and your wife sees them. Also, don't judge your wife too harshly for what she said in a private conversation. People use different words talking to different people. Maybe she wa…
/r/askMRP25/09/16 03:39 PM
2

She's allowed to miss people, including her ex. Quit having such a fragile ego. What you said her to was weak as shit. Work on IDGAF
/r/askMRP24/09/16 05:07 PM
3

None of us are faggots. We're men that do faggoty things.
/r/askMRP24/09/16 05:02 PM
6

Don't show her the note. It's pretty blatant attention seeking.
/r/askMRP24/09/16 05:00 PM
1

You wife doesn't need to exercise to lose weight, she needs to quit fucking eating. I am honestly not sure how to be the captain on this. Throwing out all her junk food every time she buys it means you're trying to be her personal dietitian or some shit. I think all you can do is dread her until she motivates herself to do something. You say your wife doesn't find you sexually attractive, but it sounds like she wants and enjoys sex with you? My wife doesn't find me sexually attractive, and I kno…
/r/askMRP23/09/16 10:57 PM
3

You sound like a spaz that is freaking out and writing novels on the internet because a female other than your wife is talking to you. It was a dick move to not meet up with her at work, there was nothing wrong with showing her around. Yes, tell your wife Cindy started there. You talk about your friends to your wife, don't you? If you don't mention Cindy starting it would be weird. Quit getting butthurt over the internet.
/r/askMRP23/09/16 08:32 PM
1

Is shitting three times a day unusual? I shit three times a day. I drink probably half a gallon of whole milk every day. Also lots of plain greek yogurt and cheese. I use lactaid pills before eating/drinking these so prevent gas. Easy way to get lots of calories, protein, and healthy fats. I assume I poop so much due to lack of fiber - needs to get better about eating more vegetables.
/r/askMRP23/09/16 04:24 PM
1

So the response seems to mostly say that I'm doing this to "run away" from my problems. I haven't really spent a lot of time to analyze my feelings on the matter, but I guess that's possible. I do strongly feel like I do just want a vacation, and I don't really want a vacation with the wife. I don't feel like I'm trying to make a statement or make her feel anything in response. But maybe I'm just in denial or something.
/r/askMRP19/09/16 01:37 PM
1

I searched it just now for some keywords and didn't see this as a "first step". It was just a sort of a side-bar footnote on "hey maybe try this for a week" in chapter 3 or 4.
/r/askMRP19/09/16 01:34 PM
0

I wish there was more I wanted to do with the opportunity. Honestly there's nothing I'm dying to do. I have maybe $5k I could spend without hating myself, $10k if I really had to. I guess that's enough for a month in most places. I've been to foreign countries on vacation where I didn't speak the language, and honestly it wasn't much fun. So that means sticking to English speaking options. I have an up-to-date passport. Also haven't talked to boss yet about sabbatical. No guarantee I'd get it, a…
/r/askMRP18/09/16 11:23 PM
0

What are you hoping to achieve? Just perspective. How I feel living without her for a while. Doing my own thing. Not being in my current job that, while fine, is not great. Being somewhere new and doing new things, which is what I'd do if I left her. I do honestly feel like I'd be doing it for myself, and not to passive aggressively make a point to her or anything.
/r/askMRP18/09/16 11:12 PM
1

I found a German version searching "David Schnarch" in fiction but not an English one. edit: Apparently I was using a crappy or outdated mirror of libgen. I found another version hosted elsewhere that had it. Thanks again!
/r/askMRP08/09/16 03:26 PM
2

The way to do it is to greet her warmly and with affection. I read this just as she came home and without really giving any time to internalize all the other advice here, gave this a shot. It went okay. We had a good interaction but she didn't make any effort to do anything else with me the rest of the evening. Can't expect immediate results. Overall I think I will be happier not trying to out-ignore her, and it will make me look less butt hurt, so I think I will continue to be the one to initia…
/r/askMRP08/09/16 02:53 PM
1

Cool, never seen this site before. Didn't see it but his other book "Passionate Marriage" was there, so I'll look at that.
/r/askMRP08/09/16 03:34 AM
1

Thanks for the detailed response. Do you have a digital copy of the book you could send my way by chance? I don't really have a convenient way to buy it online covertly.
/r/askMRP08/09/16 03:21 AM
2

Thanks for all your help, it's possibly the best help I've had in my entire life.
/r/askMRP08/09/16 12:45 AM
1

Is there a book that addresses this? I'm still working through the reading more thoroughly but have glanced at most of it just to get a sense of what's out there.
/r/askMRP08/09/16 12:38 AM
0

You're right, it is ego. It's clearer after I listed out all my feelings and their causes. It makes me feel like a fucking chump if she can move on and be happy without any effort. It makes me feel like I'm a worthless shithead who gave too much effort into someone who didn't reciprocate it. I feel like a loser. It's my ego.
/r/askMRP08/09/16 12:23 AM
0

What more is a woman supposed to offer? I mean for the most part, it seems like men look for an attractive woman they get along with really well. A lot of guys don't even care if women are smart or not, or whether they're ambitious and successful. They want a hot piece of ass that they can be friends with and build a life with and that's about it. She doesn't act caring because of my own failings. It would be the same with any other woman until I fix myself. I don't think that's a reason to disc…
/r/askMRP08/09/16 12:10 AM
1

I am not sure it's necessarily my ego that's invested, though I am sure at least some of it is. A lot of it is fear of the unknown. Fear of change. Anxiety. Jealousy. Resentment. All of the negative emotions and drama and bullshit that would come from a separation. It would make me feel like shit. Lots and lots of jealousy. I do my best to never show jealous and I feel like I probably never have because I know it's insanely unattractive. I can't help but feel it though. At least right now I have…
/r/askMRP08/09/16 12:01 AM
3

It's incredibly difficult to have the motivation for self-improvement for the sake of self-improvement sharing an environment with someone who acts like she hates me but refuses to say it. I've always been a very co-dependent person and it's very difficult for me to change that, though I am working on it. I feel lonely easily and sad as a result. The person I am right now needs a meaningful relationship to find purpose in life and I know that's wrong. I am working on being happy with myself, but…
/r/askMRP07/09/16 11:12 PM
1

Honestly it's pretty hard right now. I don't like the way she acts to the person I've become. She's smart, ambitious (or used to be anyway), attractive, caring (or used to be), we think the same about most everything, we've been through so much together (good things), she has a great family, she used to enjoy receiving affection from me and I enjoyed giving it. Last exercise: I'm a reasonably attractive guy with reasonably interesting hobbies who goes out and does interesting things - though she…
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:51 PM
1

I mention this in the OP. Historically I am the one that initiates. This is obviously not working, which is why I'm trying something else. Because not spending any time together would mean the relationship is over. I'm trying to fix myself right now but I don't want to shred whatever we might have left in the mean time. Because it's fucking exhausting and depressing and she's still the one in control and she knows it.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:36 PM
1

Could you provide at least a sentence of feedback? Should I continue doing my own thing and wait for her to come to me, or just accept that I have to continue high effort date nights for someone who never reciprocates and ignores me at all other times?
/r/askMRP07/09/16 09:58 PM
1

No kids. Barely any sex because condoms really don't work for me and she refuses to use pills/IUD (possibly to reduce how often she has to have sex with me). I really want to run but I also really wish this relationship would work.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 09:56 PM
0

I know how you feel. Every day when I get home I have to sit in my car for a minute and mentally gather myself up to prepare for my interactions with my wife. It's bullshit. I'm tired, I work all day to support us, and I can't even relax at home. I have to put up a front to my wife for the sake of red pill.
/r/askMRP06/09/16 06:23 PM
2

like nofap helps with desire to go fuck everything that moves you have the opposite problem. you don't want to fuck but you should. Re: your second part - don't know what to tell you bud. That sucks. But like it's been said, you can't force yourself to find her attractive. All you can do is move on if it's a deal breaker for you. You should probably try the no-sluts tactic for a while (year+) if you really value your marriage.
/r/askMRP01/09/16 09:21 PM
1

I feel like I'm missing the deeper meaner of that comment, or at least how it applies here. TRP/MRP makes it sound like it's essentially always a competition. There is no casual back-and-forth. There's always a score (SMV). You have to compete with the market of men out there available to your wife/GF.
/r/askMRP01/09/16 09:17 PM
1

I would ask her why did she wait to get me to do it (Palms face). Now I think ISYMFS ( It's still Your MF Ship) and fix the issue. You seem to have a pretty healthy relationship so maybe that's why this works for you. Having your wife bitch at you to fix something she could have done herself sounds like a shit test to me, though. I would guess it's not a problem for you because you have plenty of alpha to offset any beta.
/r/askMRP30/08/16 08:23 PM
17

People recommend no porn here. It's not a moral issue. For many (most?) men it just negatively impacts your sex drive and the sex you have with your wife. If you're banging sluts in real life, that's like porn times 10. There is a lot of thrill and attraction to having sex with someone new. It's like the old saying, "Show me the sexiest woman alive and I'll show you a man that's tired of having sex with her". If your baseline for attraction is a new girl every night, then of course you're not go…
/r/askMRP30/08/16 02:35 PM
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