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View 2 posts and 321 comments by blonde___guardian on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
74

Question For Menblonde___guardian/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 07:40 PM
27

Question For Menblonde___guardian/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 02:37 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
-9

Oh, I see. So we're in Peak Snowflake Territory where you're a) not actually accused of anything; and b) you read minds and just know people are thinking mean thoughts about you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 08:19 PM
-6

First of all, absolute cringe to use "privilege" in a sentence unironically. Second, your anecdote has literally nothing to do with my post or your OP. You a) didn't choose to avoid children; and b) it's good for other adults to verify who picks kids up from a park. Due diligence =/= false accusations.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 08:17 PM
5

Are you serious? If a man said, "Oh no, I can't be near kids because I'm concerned about false accusations," I'd write him off as a predator on the spot.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 04:06 PM
–

I can only speak for my church, but here goes! Basically, we have two cohorts of young people: parishioners since birth and new converts. The former are super chill and gender-balanced (as you'd probably expect). The latter are a little intense and basically all male. As a young woman, you're a) outnumbered and b) surrounded by guys who are going through a trad phase. It paradoxically makes a lot of sense to date outside the church to find someone who aligns with your values.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 01:09 PM
17

There are other ways of having sex other than vaginal penetrative sex. To risk this, you have to 1000% trust yourself and your partner. Both of you have to be perfectly sure you'll neither request nor succumb to (for lack of a better term) vaginal penetrative sex. And that much trust is hard to find, especially between young people who aren't married.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:48 PM
–

Look, I think the 4B movement is a social media trend and too niche to be impactful. But all the discourse on this sub frames it as punishing men, not protecting women. And I'd argue it's about the latter far more than the former. If you're worried that you can't access an abortion, one rational response is to stop having sex with men. It doesn't actually matter whether the men in question even notice; the point is that you're significantly less likely to experience an unwanted pregnancy that wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 10:57 PM
4

Yeah, that's fair enough. Women's rights were a patchwork. But that very fact goes to OP's question: if you want to see examples of someone being denied their personhood, this view of a woman as an incompetent adult or an adult with lesser rights certainly counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 08:17 PM
44

That's what I suspected - you're dating an assimilated immigrant and you're shielded from the sharpness of Eastern European culture through a language barrier. None of that's bad; it's just not supportive of your thesis that non-Western women are better.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 07:09 PM
28

How good is your Russian? Or, to put it another way, would you be able to understand your gf speaking it to her friends/family?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:56 PM
3

Wait, I'm sorry, you think it was never illegal for women to vote?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:38 PM
104

don't have a bitch attitude God, I wish I could introduce you to my Eastern European aunties and cousins. They're so fucking mean all the time (affectionate).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:37 PM
15

No ability to acquire well-paying work or inherit, no birth control, no pensions, and social and religious shame around children born out of wedlock.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:36 PM
14

Men embracing this reasoning are going to be disappointed. Even if their standard of living goes up - which is unlikely - the coercive forces that push women to marry and reproduce with men they'd otherwise find unattractive are no longer present.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 05:09 PM
15

Precisely. In many legal traditions, the wife and the husband became one legal entity upon marriage, with the husband having the final say over all decisions made by that entity. The last vestiges of this legal framework were struck down in the States in 1979. Women quite literally being denied individual status is incredibly recent history.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:33 PM
5

Sure. Having personhood is the quality of being granted value as an individual. And being denied it occurs when you're either denied value altogether (crudely: "women shouldn't be educated; there's no point") or only valued as a member of a class (crudely: "women should only be wives and mothers").
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:24 PM
13

Nobody said anything about 'historical' reasons. I'm talking about the present, and you aren't engaging.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:00 PM
16

a) The definition you linked expressly mentions the quality of being an individual person. Why, then, is there any expectation for a husband and wife to have matching surnames and for the wife to change hers? b) Again, why else have matching surnames besides creating a blended identity as a family unit? c) There's a difference between 'mandatory' and 'widespread' + 'encouraged'.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:50 PM
16

How is giving up your last name denying your personhood? It severs a person from their past and blends their identity with that of their spouse for absolutely no good reason. And, if it were a neutral thing with no symbolic significance, I'd argue that a) men would do it comparable rates; and b) there would be 0 angst about a bloodline "dying out" in the absence of sons. Thanks for the edit!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:37 PM
34

Why do you pretend your personhood is being denied? Wow, it sounds like you're going to approach this discussion in good, nay excellent, faith. Excited for this productive exchange of ideas. Here's one example, though: it's super weird to exist in a society where the basic expectation is giving up your last name (and all the heritage, legacy, and achievements associated with it) when you - as a woman - marry. Like, what the heck is that if not a loss of personhood?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:13 PM
7

Not PC to articulate, but it sounds like you just have a preference for men over women. Which is fine and doesn't make you any less bi, but like... let's be clear-eyed about it. Let the record show that I'm also bi, and in my experience, nobody loves apologizing. It sucks to admit you're wrong, and it's hard to make amends. This is human nature, not an artifact of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:03 PM
0

For sure! Bulking up on muscle is easier for men; if we're judging bodies, this seems like a reasonable standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 02:26 PM
1

Viagra has a success rate of 91%. That's far more successful in practice than weight loss interventions. So, again, all this special pleading for ED strikes me as men not wanting to be judged where it actually hurts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 02:17 PM
3

My point is this: if we have to treat ED with kid gloves because it's soooo multi-causal and complicated and outside of one's control, then obesity should be treated the same way. That, or we apply the same standard across the board and dump people guilt-free if their bodies do something we don't like.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 02:05 PM
1

Wow, I bet no research has been done on this novel topic! Oh wait: Associations Between Online Pornography Consumption and Sexual Dysfunction in Young Men Pornography Addiction: An Exploration of the Association Between Use, Perceived Addiction, Erectile Dysfunction, Premature (Early) Ejaculation, and Sexual Satisfaction in Males Aged 18-44 Years Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 01:56 PM
3

I'm with you for 50% of this: both erectile dysfunction and obesity are treatable and, in fact, have huge research industries behind them. Where we disagree is the 'languish in mediocrity' bit. I see lots of chubby people dating other chubby people, and it isn't gendered. This idea that fat men are totally resigned to failure while fat women expect Chads strikes me as an internet fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 01:44 PM
3

Glad we agree!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 01:39 PM
7

LOL and LMAO, seems like I struck a nerve. A ton of ED is psychological and caused by porn over-consumption and/or sexual repression. People absolutely have control over that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 01:39 PM
5

Nah. ED can strike at any age, has causes beyond the purely hormonal, and is often entirely psychological. I chose it because it's closely analogous to obesity on those grounds.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 01:38 PM
6

Maintaining an erection is easy too. Men should stop being so hurt when I break up with them over dick issues, and yet. It's almost like humans expect some degree of compassion over bodily deficiencies, and the longer you're together, the greater that expectation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 01:11 PM
7

If your wife want to divorce and force you to pay her everything is nice and dandy. Nah. You can absolutely contract out of splitting assets after the breakdown of a marriage in your prenup. Heck, in some jurisdictions, you can even waive alimony. If that's important to you, I'd recommend chatting to a lawyer and building your married life in such a jurisdiction. Judges have a proven bias towards women, you think they're reasonable because they catter to your opinion I can't believe I'm gonna de…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 02:22 AM
7

How would someone get "coerced" into a prenup? They can just decline to get married. I'd recommend digging around the case law in your jurisdiction for examples. (And I don't mean that in a snide way!) You'll usually find all kinds of fascinating misbehavior, like people springing pre-nups on each other right before big deadlines or bringing forward contracts in the context of an abusive relationship and literally using threats. a huge and unmitigated power differential Language barriers, age di…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 02:14 AM
19

Pre-nups are just like any other kind of contract. They work well, provided that you draft them honestly and within the confines of the law. Here's how I've seen them fall apart (in my jurisdiction): somebody conceals their assets somebody tried to contract out of their legal responsibilities (i.e. child support) somebody tried to sneak in a bunch of non-financial obligations (i.e. "We must have sex 6x a week or I'll divorce you.") somebody tries to steamroll their spouse's interests (i.e. by pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 12:52 AM
-1

Someone with 1) roughly the same status as you; and 2) verifiable results. RP exists in the real world, and its influencers are extraordinary in some way - looks, charisma, education, whatever. If you're average or below average across the board, you can't trust their advice just as you can't take investment advice from a millionaire's kid. Likewise, a lot of RP beliefs are backed up with unsourced anecdotes. Maybe they're true, and maybe they aren't, but I'd want a lot more tangible evidence be…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 06:26 PM
–

I have 0 interest in doing outreach to conservative men. The rich ones made an intelligent - if self-serving - choice; the remaining 95% voted against their own interests. The economic consequences are going to be much more educational than I could ever be.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 02:28 AM
0

My good person, people who will leave their country for a passport bro (by definition, a loser in his home country) aren't exactly high-status themselves. It isn't a slight on any education system to point that out. And indeed, there are lots of pathways into Western countries that don't involve marriage for highly educated women. Maybe Latinas prefer western men because they treat them like humans?? Wow, that sounds like a shitty thing to say about Colombian men, a demographic which includes yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 06:05 PM
2

Immigration only benefits a country if the new arrivals immediately start participating in the labor force. Passport bros gravitate towards women who can't do that (for all the reasons I listed above) and I'd argue that they're highly motivated to keep their partners dependent.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 04:54 PM
2

If we're talking about people who leave the global West for good, then it's up to the countries where they eventually settle to regulate them. And again, those countries will also need solid economic or cultural grounds upon which to enact laws, not just bad vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 04:11 PM
3

These reasons are silly. Or, to be more charitable, they're wishy-washy and ideological, which isn't a good reason to ban anything. Passport bros typically import low-status women with a) poor English skills; b) no transferable credentials; c) poor cultural alignment with Western values; and d) large families that can use them as an anchor for Western visas and more permanent residency. This is an immigration loophole for the kinds of people most Westerners don't want in their country, for obvio…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 04:03 PM
–

4B is just a pithier title for radical female separatism, with 'radical' being the operative word. It's a niche ideology, and the overwhelming majority of women aren't going to live their lives that way. However. I think a lot of men played themselves by voting for a guy whose policies - as written - will make them poorer. This election is fundamentally about the economy, and if you think having less money will make you more popular with women who explicitly voted with an eye on their wallets, g…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 01:48 PM
4

I think you're right about outcomes but not necessarily about all women's thought processes. Personally, I think any Trump supporter with a salary of under ~350K and in any way connected to international trade and immigration (i.e. working in construction, tech, etc.) is playing himself financially. I'm not going to date him because a) I want to get married; and b) if he can't even reason in his own self-interest, he definitely can't do it in mine or that of our family.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 03:46 AM
–

The thing about your 4b is that if any subset of women still choose to date, and they will, it all falls apart. Again, red pillers need to pick a position. You all have your briefs in a bunch about hypergamy. Oh no, so many women are unavailable to you because they're pursuing Chad during their hottest years! And then, they'll marry up, leaving you stuck with low-status options. Every woman who practices 4B makes the dating world more bleak for the bottom 80% of men. It absolutely doesn't need t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 02:17 AM
–

God, you all have to pick a position. Every week, I encounter posts about women not wanting men, women not having sexual or romantic desire, women being happier single, women only dating as a luxury, etc. etc. You'd think we were already doing 4B harder than the South Koreans, and now you tell me it can't happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 01:38 AM
6

Honestly, I find this question and all sex strike discourse kinda silly. You can't know another person's vote with any certainty, and I'm convinced that both Trump and Harris supporters will lie about their election-day choices. With that said, I've always found conservative men in my age cohort wildly unattractive. (The older ones do embody some of conservatism's sexier aspects, but I don't date men over 40 and they're, like, 50+. You see the issue.) So I'm just gonna keep avoiding them, same a…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 01:11 AM
–

The vast majority of women think men do not and cannot have systemic issues, due to the decades of feminist efforts to erase and invalidate men's issues. Citation needed. I'd love to see proof that the mainstream female position is that addiction, homelessness, incarceration, etc. (all issues impacting men disproportionately) don't exist. Mras are neither incoherent nor only active when there are women to oppose Please point me to a national MRA group with achievements behind it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 09:05 PM
2

IDK, I wouldn't exactly refer to the police having a simp culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 06:05 PM
-5

women hold weakness in men in contempt far above men holding weakness in contempt. Women are much more politically left-wing, at least in the United States. While they may personally hold weakness in contempt, this demonstrates that they're much more interested in systemic solutions to homelessness, mental illness, etc., than men are. feminism sees any and all men's advocacy as competition for a limited ressource A basic tenet of feminism is that patriarchy harms men too. With that in mind, I'd …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 06:04 PM
9

Mens' rights movements are screwed over by two factors: Men typically hold weakness in contempt; and Men view other men as competition. Example 1: People love trotting out Earl Silverman (dude who tried to set up a men's shelter) as an example of feminist cruelty, but I'm struck by the fact that he was ridiculed by the police when he tried to report his abuse. This was 1991, and those were overwhelmingly men laughing at him and refusing to help him. Example 2: The Red Pill. This is a movement th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 02:55 PM
-1

Some percentage of people - male and female - just aren't romantically desirable. We can put them in social settings, teach them basic hygiene, make them skinny via GLP-1s, whatever, and their peers still won't want them. Incidentally, this has been true for all of history; the difference in outcomes was rooted in the coercive power of the state, the church, and material deprivation forcing people together. The Minister of Relationships, at best, can teach people that the modern model of marriag…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 06:47 PM
4

A basic aspect of female class consciousness is that domestic violence can happen in any relationship regardless of class, that abortion restrictions can kill women of any class, that breast cancer research is good because it saves women of all classes, etc. I obviously can't speak for every woman ever, but these are viewed as undeniable facts in my social circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 08:10 PM
6

Okay, so we're in agreement. Men typically don't have gender-based solidarity. And if you don't want it, then that's fine. But I'd argue that - if you sincerely believe there are some things out there that disadvantage men uniquely as a sex class - you'd also believe Bill Gates could fall prey to them too. (Mental health seems like an obvious one, for instance.)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 07:34 PM
2

Yes, men will definitely act in economic self-interest. Not my point, not arguing it, etc. They just don't feel or act on gender-based solidarity with other men, and I'd love to see examples that prove me wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 07:05 PM
-2

Oh my god, this was a homeless shelter for single men, a demographic that engages in a metric ton of criminality and public disorder, made all the worse by the opioid crisis. Do you sincerely believe that most regular men are comfortable with used needles, condoms, and human feces on the sidewalk near their kids' schools, and it's just the evil women who oppose that?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 07:03 PM
12

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: men have very little class solidarity. The example everyone loves to cite - Earl Silverman - shut down his shelter due to a lack of public donations. Who makes up 50% of the adult public? Who makes up the majority of the billionaire class? Yes, that's right: men. In private conversations, I've often been struck by the fact that men view other men as competition. Giving the competition ""a leg up"" - particularly in the context of relationships - trigge…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 06:34 PM
4

Exactly - I find it's a rare combination of traits, although it becomes more prominent and common with age.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 04:50 PM
13

Gold diggers are definitely real; I just struggle to understand why they're bad, especially under the RP framework. You talk a big game about improving your financial status to attract women's attention. And then you're... mad and disparaging when it actually works? How is that logical?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 03:55 PM
3

To me, a 'good man' is one with integrity. He has principles and stands by them, even when they're inconvenient for him. He has an internal locus of control (i.e. feels that his actions matter and tries to better his own circumstances) and a degree of stoicism. He holds onto a vision of masculinity rooted in protection and service; he helps people and can be relied upon. I don't use this term lightly, and I find men who embody it very attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 03:36 PM
0

Except this fantasy is specifically meant to be instructive. It supposedly reveals the corrupt nature of women and, to a lesser degree, the evils of Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 09:03 PM
1

In about 95% of cases, this isn't abuse. It's just run-of-the-mill scumbag behavior, and frankly, I think I'd partially blame myself for falling for it. The remaining 5% would involve a guy telling increasingly elaborate lies, getting other people in on it, and gaslighting me about the evidence I do turn up. That commitment to deception probably counts as emotional abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 08:40 PM
-2

Believing that men are primarily valued for their n-count is a deeply online belief. That doesn't mean it isn't real; it just means that it has very low applicability in any setting where you have to practice some discretion (i.e. 90% of real life). More bluntly put, you can't tell your parents, your teachers, your bosses, your religious leaders, your mentors, etc. your n-count. If you think that's your primary source of social esteem, you have to grapple with why it must be kept secret in polit…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 08:15 PM
9

You're gonna get a bunch of RP-ers telling you that this isn't RP, but it's actually one of their pet fantasies. This woman practiced hypergamy (i.e. married a provider with more financial status than herself), and now he's a terrible husband who steps out on her. Since Chad/a top 20% guy is often envisioned as an abuser, a narcissist, and a psychopath, both the initial cheating and his later upset when she's past caring are perfectly consistent with RP too.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 04:57 PM
2

My minimum standards for consideration are fixed; I don't care if 2% or 60% of the population meets them. Once a person meets or surpasses those standards, I assess compatibility based on totally personal considerations. (i.e. "Do I find them funny?", "Can I resolve conflicts with them?" "Are we sexually compatible?") At that point, it no longer matters how they stack up to other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 11:51 AM
1

Even on Reddit - the absolute cesspit that we inhabit - the Sir Isaac memes are mostly affectionate. And that's not even getting into a) the way he was loved and celebrated in his lifetime and b) the veneration he currently receives. If "perceived as a loser" = "buildings named after him", then sign me right up for loserdom.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 06:50 PM
1

If a woman gets pregnant despite not having the resources to care for the resulting baby, her behavior is antisocial too. Why are you putting all the responsibility on the man? In the scenario we're debating, the woman takes responsibility for her actions and raises the kid. This is an investment of ~$200,000 on average. My sense of justice is satisfied, and I deem her debt to society repaid. Asking the man to pay child support is frankly a much lesser consequence for his antisocial act.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 06:01 PM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:54 PM
1

And that's bad. No argument from me there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:47 PM
1

I don't actually disagree. There's a reason why I brought up my heuristic in the context of taxation specifically. In my view, a reduction in taxation can incentivize good behavior in a way that laws fundamentally don't. ETA: Not to get into a whole philosophy of government, but I think "punish bad; reward good" is the thing we should be aiming for using all the levers at our disposal. Adoption is this... weird grey area, where I can't tell you what's actually good or bad with any clarity, and s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 02:58 PM
5

Gonna be real with you, I don't know how to fix adoption. The 'pro-social vs. anti-social' heuristic falls apart in the face of all that human complexity and the abuses baked into the system.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 02:45 PM
1

Yes, it does. I don't want beneficial programs cut and I don't want to punish future generations with a larger deficit because some deadbeat doesn't feel like paying his share. I do have an underlying philosophy here besides "but muh taxes!"
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 02:32 PM
2

What's being defunded to make this possible, and is the deficit still growing?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 02:16 PM
2

Then it would be appropriate to call an abortion a murder. And then everyone's on the hook equally, man, woman and state. I am for equality=) Oh my god, so expensive. I am not contributing towards $20,000 - $300,000 per inmate per year to keep the weirdo pro-lifers happy. Fetus somehow doesn't have a right to live, but a right for a future child support is already there. Yes. I believe birth is a morally significant event.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 01:44 PM
8

It is in a women's best interest to not consider fetus a human being - then abortion is an acceptable thing. It is also in women's best interest to start advocating for a kid's rights once it is born - then a man and/or state cannot opt out of supporting it. Wait, so you want a woman to consider a fetus to be a child, thereby putting the man/state on the hook earlier? That would actually give her even more leverage. By the way, why can't a man opt out financially before "kid exists in the world"…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 01:31 PM
6

It's obviously anti-social too. Now that we've established the child exists because of two dummies, let's talk about consequences. In this circumstance, Mom has to raise the kid. This will cost her ~$200,000, pre-college. We'll give her some tax breaks because that's a huge amount, children's existence is pro-social, etc., but ultimately, she's paying an enormous personal price, and we as a society reap the benefits. My sense of justice is satisfied. What about Dad? Under your proposed model, he…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 01:22 PM
5

Not sure what you're implying here - please expand.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 12:44 PM
7

If a man is unable or unwilling to be a father, it's his responsibility to a) have 0 sex; or b) ensure that a pregnancy can't happen during the sex that he has. Not doing so is anti-social.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 12:37 PM
8

To repeat myself: I want pro-social behavior rewarded and anti-social behavior punished. Rape is anti-social; it would be wrong to make a man responsible for the product of his violation.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 12:17 PM
14

So you are pro-vice tax! Common ground found.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 12:15 PM
17

You're not engaging with my argument. Please explain why I should pay more taxes because of anti-social behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 12:00 PM
18

You see how I said child, not fetus? I'm also pro-choice. Once your kid exists in the world as an independent organism, you're on the hook for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 11:55 AM
14

I want pro-social behavior rewarded and anti-social behavior punished. Abdicating responsibility for a child you made is anti-social, and I don't want my tax dollars supporting it. (And before anyone starts, I think children are a net social good and parents deserve support via tax credits. Deadbeats who try to weasel their way out of their responsibilities, though? Not so much.)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 11:51 AM
1

Has this ever happened in your experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 11:44 AM
5

I mean that men are constantly told, subliminally or directly, that their biggest success comes from sex. Literally what. Society valorizes plenty of male celebrities, athletes, intellectuals, businessmen, historical figures, etc. for reasons totally unrelated to their sexual prowess. Their good looks (if applicable) and the romantic success they bring are - at absolute best - a footnote. "Oh wow, this Nobel laureate totally boned a bunch of 10/10 babes, and the latter is a way bigger deal than …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 10:20 PM
5

My sister, mom, cousin, and other women this story spread to were angry. I would protect my sister and family, but why do they expect me to put myself in harm's way for a random woman? What do your dad and brother-in-law think?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 05:01 PM
–

K, but like... how does that help you? The most elaborate theories about women's true nature a) sound insane; b) don't score anyone any dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 07:26 PM
–

That's kind of my point, though - because people are so unwilling to move past the apparent unfairness of the dating market, they are a) hurting themselves, and b) not solving anything. I'd feel the same if anti-racist advocates sat around concocting increasingly more insane theories about why racism exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 07:23 PM
7

The man in your description genuinely sounds disgusting. If I dated him for a while, I'd engineer the memory-wiper from Men in Black and use it on every human being who'd ever seen us together. And then myself. (Also, this is about sex with Chad, isn't it?)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 05:46 PM
–

I'm glad you have a policy platform, and I actually agree that TikTok is brainrot. I'm cautiously pro-banning it entirely because I don't see how a single genre of video can be disallowed.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:54 PM
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This is a debate forum. We come here to exchange and critique ideas, not to offer understanding. And I'm critiquing the notion that constantly complaining is useful, either materially or psychologically.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:09 PM
–

Sincere question: what social justice effort would address your dating concerns and make you happy?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:05 PM
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A few points: 1) A generation (loosely defined as 15-20 years, where kids of immigrants can come of age in the new country) hasn't elapsed in most countries; 2) Europe is backlashing hard against this challenge to its values, only upping the pressure to assimilate or gtfo. 3) A very significant number of new arrivals are displaced Ukrainians, whose culture isn't terribly at odds with Western Europe. So, again, I'm not really convinced that Western values are at much risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:02 PM
–

People are quite literally risking their lives to move to countries with a shitshow dating culture. In a generation, they assimilate and embody our values. I'm not too worried about our way of life dying out or, idk, the Taliban inheriting the earth.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 03:48 PM
–

What solution do you have besides "deal with it"? We've been dealing with it (and writing sad poetry, I guess) since humanity began, but I'm open to proposals. (And for the record, I think stewing over the ways you've been wronged with no other action is contemptible behavior, regardless of who's doing it.)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 03:45 PM
–

Come on. You're better than that. Pointing out that the dating market is unfair doesn't fix it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 03:15 PM
24

This is indirectly a question about class. In the upper-middle class and above, having a baby young and out of wedlock is a social death. Historically, it may have been social death for the mother only, but it absolutely extends to the father now too. Personally, I've only heard of one such case, and I honestly can't vouch for any details because it was told like a horror story. In the lower-middle class and downward, early single motherhood doesn't seem like a big deal. I've worked with clients…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 03:04 PM
–

The interest in science is a smokescreen. Many men around here seem motivated by justice. They view the dating market as unfair and believe that, if they pull out enough stats, they can a) prove it and b) blame women for it. But this doesn't grapple with the fact that love can't be equitable. Even if we returned to arranged marriage, or idk, some government-mandated points system where we were all matched by SMV, there'd be no way of assuring the happiness of the relationship. And, to manage tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 02:22 PM
9

I hold the men I date to a lower standard than I hold myself in terms of basically everything. It's a self-improvement thing: I have control over myself, and I'm not about to slack off.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 01:41 PM
16

I am very excited to see men describing basic thoughtfulness and decency as submission. It's a fun insight into their psyche.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 05:40 PM
2

I think you're onto something - there undoubtedly are tradwives on social media who are 'doing it right' in terms of ideology. They're not the popular ones, but they exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 05:05 PM
7

A tradwife is someone who embraces traditional feminine virtues, including modesty, piety, and humility, works primarily in the female sphere (i.e. the home), and defers to her husband's authority. If you're posting content online with any interest in hits, likes, or the algorithm, you are neither humble nor in the female sphere. If you're all dolled up for men to admire and women to emulate, you aren't modest. And if you don't present your husband and his views as the core of your relationship,…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 03:55 PM
21

My family actually did this on a small scale. The unmarried uncles went back to The Motherland, met women there, and brought them back to The New World. The results were... less exciting than you'd probably hope. A few observations: My aunties wanted "a Western standard of living" and their credentials didn't transfer. My uncles suddenly became the primary breadwinners for a wife + kids, and vicious fights about money remain a theme. My aunties are... not trad, exactly, but immersed in our cultu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 01:45 PM
1

I dug into this because sometimes the vibes (i.e. the family group chat, age of parents at the baptisms I've been to) overcome the facts. Turns out, the mean age where they're from has crept up a little, but it's still behind Western Europe + even parts of Eastern Europe. Plus, in the 2000s and 2010s, it was younger still. This feels very recent to the older generation, and that's why my 24 y/o cousin is in trouble for being single.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 12:49 PM
26

While a woman working (within the home, or at least alongside her husband) can be trad, the whole family being oriented around the woman's online "content"/entertainment business certainly isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 05:09 AM
70

You're edging around an interesting paradox: tradwife influencers are by definition not tradwives. They make their own money. They reduce their partners to the 'camera husband', recording their antics as helpfully (some might say submissively) as any millennial blue-pill boyfriend. They care about their looks and post alluring photos for attention. In other words, the most common way to promote this idea in the marketplace is inherently a distortion of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:59 AM
1

It sounds like you're advocating for a modified version of Option 4: soft cultural change, where women are encouraged to appreciate the average guy. In your view, is this similar or different from settling?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:18 AM
7

That's totally fair. If you're happy as you are, then it makes perfect sense to keep doing what you're doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 03:47 AM
3

I'd be a billionaire if I could publish a comprehensive guide as to what women want. With that said, I think a lot of average guys - neither Chad nor a -1/10 on the looks scale - can name a few flaws that they'd like to work on. And that's where a supportive community comes in. As an example, take social skills: those are both learnable and transferable. If a guy can have consistent, positive interactions with other men in a friendly environment, I'd bet he'd feel more confident in group setting…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 01:33 AM
1

Honestly, this sounds pretty cool. In an ideal world, I imagine romantic unions would be undertaken much more thoughtfully than they are in ours, and your approach lays out the groundwork for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 01:24 AM
3

Okay, we're sort of twins - my grandparents met at a dance, and my dad met my mom at her job too.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 09:14 PM
9

Genuinely, that's a really interesting point that I hadn't considered before - that you could self-improve yourself out of a big chunk of the dating pool. Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 09:07 PM
3

I don't disagree with this general idea, but I suspect it happens for a lot of women naturally. As you date around, you start recognizing what kind of guys will sleep with you vs. commit to you and (if that's what you want), you start gravitating towards the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 09:05 PM
35

These examples are all taken from family conversations with my living-in-Eastern Europe relatives. Mental health isn't perceived as real. Young men struggling with mental health are viewed as extra-contemptible because a) rigid masculinity; b) the horrors of the past century didn't happen to you; what do you have to complain about? Because Soviet and early-post-Soviet society was such a shitshow, men are expected to be everything: educated, employed in a lucrative profession, good at farming, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 09:02 PM
9

societal approach to socializing that encourages development of healthy habits and social skills in both men and women I actually agree with this 100%. When I listen to people of my grandparents' generation reminisce about how they dated, there seemed to have been much more opportunity to form healthy relationships with the opposite sex in a no-pressure, fun way.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 08:29 PM
23

In my experience, Eastern European standards for men are way higher than those in North America.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 08:27 PM
7

Thanks for this perspective! I guess I'm a little more hopeful that pockets of men helping each other will spark something bigger, but I do get your reservations about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 08:14 PM
2

Any society in which normal people must overachieve to enjoy basic social capacities is terminal. While I agree with this statement generally, I also think the West has a very different relationship with self-improvement than South Korea. In other words, the people on this sub (mostly) aren't applying for every job with a headshot, getting leg-lengthening surgeries paid for by their parents when they're twelve, attending 5 hours of tutoring after school each day, or working twelve hour days, 6x …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 08:10 PM
3

Fair enough! I mean that non-sarcastically; appreciate the perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 07:57 PM
16

Some percentage of college-educated women are in monogamous marriages with college-educated men. This suggests that not lowering one's standards is a valid strategy for some women and often the most desirable ones. In your view, does that mean an Option 5 exists, where some women will simply be forced to change their standards due to repeated failures in dating? I actually agree with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 07:55 PM
20

I'm interested in your pessimism re: Option 2. Do you think men can't improve to meet women's standards, that men face barriers to community-building, or a combination of the two?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 07:53 PM
1

This sub is turning me into a libertarian, I swear to god. The best argument against financial abortion: it raises the taxes of hardworking and responsible people. If it were implemented, I would have to support a plethora of kids, brought about by impulsive men and naïve women, and I don't want to do that. The current system (somewhat) shields me from that, but I want the shields to be better and not worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 04:30 PM
18

I find this phrase to be peak whiny baby behavior, but it's used pretty broadly. I've seen it mean: Most women don't love the men with whom they're partnered (and thus dead bedrooms, initiating divorce, etc.) Society is structured in such a way that men serve women but women don't serve men (and thus the draft and men being coalminers). Women are constitutionally incapable of love (and here's some religious pontificating to prove it, Eve from Adam's rib, etc.) In other words, it's an irrational …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 03:01 PM
6

the male to female transgender rate This is such a funny observation. So you've decided that there's a class of men who will medically transition, get on the dating apps, and... what? Attract lots of male attention? That's the end-game here? You'll absolutely die when you hear about Grindr.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 01:16 PM
2

Anyone, regardless of sex, who over-identifies with their kink preferences and tries to turn them into a social philosophy lacks self-awareness. Or, to use the technical term, is a porn-brained dork-ass loser. It's not a federal crime or anything, but I'll point and laugh at them regardless ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 11:33 PM
2

It would depend on how he treated other people. If a guy is simply awkward most of the time, that's fine. But if a guy can be totally normal in front of our boss (a shark thinly disguised as a human man) but then loses all social skills around me, that's a little eyebrow-raising.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 05:27 PM
2

That's kind of my point, though - if I wanted to screw Chad, I wouldn't be looking for guys at those venues.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:45 PM
12

By doing a cold approach, the man is trying to transition from "stranger" (a very safe class, contains only 20% of rapists diffused among billions of innocents) to "acquaintance (a much more unsafe class, contains 80% of rapists despite its significantly smaller membership). That man must be stopped. (Because this is Reddit and tone doesn't translate, I am very much pointing out the absurdity of OP's argument by taking it to its logical end. I don't think we should segregate the sexes, theocracy…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:59 PM
3

My good person. You posted a link to a breathless list of largely-unsourced claims and tips for miming softness and pliancy. I'm sure it all makes perfect sense to you because you're into it, but for an outsider, it's like peeking into a slightly sweaty diary. There's nothing to understand here because it ain't deep.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:27 PM
6

That's what we in the linear-thought business call a non-sequitur.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:17 PM
0

I think a lot of RP/incel posts about Chads also disregard how much hookup culture happens outside of mainstream concerts and bars. Like, back in my hookup days, I'd pick people up at two locations: a) dirt-cheap metal shows at this converted garage; and b) free nights at the modern art gallery. Say what you will about the guys attending these events, but they're not Chad. Frankly, if a Top 10% Model-Fireman-Alpha turned up, I'd ask him if he was lost and walk him to the bus stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:53 PM
14

I can't quite tell where you're trying to lead me but - in case you're interested - the page I linked has racial, age, and prior conviction stats too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:37 PM
6

Yeah, if anyone needs evidence of how this is a kink thing, please check out that link. Relinquishing oneself to a higher power; I'm screaming. This is beyond tradcon; it's Kindle erotica.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:06 PM
26

Let's be real: 95% of the time, men who identify as dominant are 5'9" chinless wonders battling anxiety and earning 70K a year at a desk job, and women who identify as submissive are terminally indecisive and want to be called good girls in bed. Their whole deal is a kink thing - which is fine, if a little cringe - and doesn't need to be earned. It just exists and they both kinda know that they're failing to meet any sort of traditional archetype.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:27 PM
11

A person who makes their sexual gratification the center of non-sexual interactions. There are lots of comments about boundary-crossing here, and I think that's part of it. But someone who, idk, talks over you constantly isn't a creep (although they may be annoying, loud, and entitled) because their whole deal is missing the unpleasant miasma of lust. Meanwhile, someone who calls you "baby" during a work call is 100% creepy, even though the actual transgression is much shorter and more contained…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 12:59 PM
40

80% of sexual assault is perpetrated by someone the victim knows. I hereby advise women to stop hanging out with men. Don't give them any chances. If they cold-approach you, try to get you alone, or otherwise interact with you, that's a red flag. If they express sexual or romantic interest, that's a triple red flag. Shut it down. If you don't like this reasoning, tell me why. "Aw damn, it disadvantages me in dating" doesn't count. Since analyzing the victim's conduct is cool and fun, we might as…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 12:19 PM
8

Rural America in general provides more opportunities for independence and strength than metropolitan America. We're talking about the Amish, not rural America as a whole. And the Amish punish via silent treatment and ex-communication. It's an anti-independence society that views individualism as negative. Totally antithetical to dominant men. Capital isn't something that men ever desire in and of itself. LOL and LMAO. Money is power, health, fun, and self-expression, totally separate from having…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:54 AM
0

It's not intimacy if the other person would rather chew off their own hand than publicly admit your relationship exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:25 AM
9

This is a backward view of male strength. A dominant man, by any traditional definition, wants a) independence, b) capital, c) physical health and strength with the full benefits of modern science, and d) children with the best possible partner. By that understanding, any authentically dominant men would peace out during Rumspringa, leaving the dregs behind to... toil without modern tech and marry their second cousin.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:48 AM
20

I like the implication that Amish men are dominant. Oh gosh, their rippling (lightly inbred) physique! Their lack of education and earning potential! Their low status on the cultural stage! Move over, Chad; you've been usurped by a man who refuses to wear zippers.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:59 AM
1

This is really interesting. I can follow this reasoning well enough until the 'other men' section. If a woman makes the very calculated choice to marry for middle-class stability, she'd surely be smart enough not to mention all the hot sex she was having with Chad in her 20s, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:46 AM
2

As a teenager, I sure did! (I have since apologized profusely.) Also, the culture we're from is famously blunt, so she's heard the message from other sources.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:33 AM
28

Honestly, I wish men just ignored conventionally unattractive women. One of my best friends is fat and always has been. Lots of guys want to fuck her and hang out with her to the point of clinginess but are too ashamed to introduce her publicly as their girlfriend. It's not a desire problem or a compatibility problem; it's a mind-game of "I want to spend so, so much time with you, but nobody can know I spend time with you." I don't want to generalize from one case study too much, but I'll throw …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:17 AM
2

Okay, I gotta know: where did men get this idea that safe = unfuckable? The safe, fuckable man is so popular that he's a trope. He's the entire vibe that Chris Evans embodies. The whole 'cozy romance' genre on Amazon is about being railed by him six days a week and twice on Sundays. Finding a trustworthy, reliable guy with solid values is the dream for many, many women. Basically, men are shooting themselves in the foot by trying to be only one half of a very common female fantasy
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 11:56 PM
14

A lot of men don't even know what those things are. Do men not recognize the results of these things, though? Do men, as a class, ignore smooth skin, full lips, a narrower waist in relation to wider hips + breasts, long hair, and women with lower BMI? It's all very well and good to claim ignorance about the beauty process, but men now - and I'd argue historically - are pretty horny for its outcomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 07:47 PM
15

I definitely put forward "stay single forever" as one course of action for women. Glad we agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 07:35 PM
14

Again, you're not pointing out anything delusional, unless delusional means "thing I personally don't like".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 07:34 PM
24

What part of this is delusional? If you do find a guy, the standard is rational. If you don't find a guy and adjust your standards, that's also rational. And divorces when you're unhappy are rational too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 07:29 PM
31

100% dealbreaker. A few reasons: 1) Dressing well is perhaps the only part of appearance that's fully under your control. If you don't put any effort into it, that says a lot about you. 2) I dress well. I love going to places with a dress code and getting all dolled up. If a partner can't match my aesthetic, I'm not bringing them with me, and there goes our couples' social life. 3) In my experience, guys who dress like slobs - and lbr, wearing basketball shorts to a bar = slob behavior - are sup…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 07:26 PM
28

I screen out neurosurgeons. Their hours are hugely unpredictable - neurosurgeries run long, and it's not like you can peace out and call the backup guy - and the entire field is pretty sad, with many patients dying/receiving pretty terrible outcomes. This leads to a lot of troubled physicians, and I can't support them emotionally. tl;dr - Women have individual standards. I'm fine with splitting the bill. I'm not fine with neurosurgeons.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 06:44 PM
3

And that's totally fine! We've just screened one another out of a friendship/dating pool, and that's a net win for both of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 05:58 PM
5

Over the past five years, I've become 100% honest about my standards. I will only consider a man over 6 feet, making six figures in a professional job, taking good care of his health, close to his family, and either from my culture or receptive to my culture. Oh, and I'm keeping my last name when I marry. Men get so mad about this. Online, yes, but even in person and to my face. The consequences of declaring my standards overtly are high, and I get why other women don't do it. In other words, if…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 05:36 PM
95

If a woman has "delusional standards", she won't find someone. And then she'll either be single forever or lower those standards - which is a red pill nightmare! How dare that bitch settle! Like, what's even the debate here?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 05:21 PM
2

I agree with much of this, but I also have some nuance to add. Mainstream romantic advice for women, in my experience, laser-focuses on finding a man. As you say, it's not really fostering one's most authentic/actualized/competent self; it's all about locking down a guy by being blandly hot. Meanwhile, mainstream romantic advice for men is better (again, imo) because it's about being a whole person - educated, well-dressed, fun, etc. But then, it kinda handwaves the whole "attracting women" deal…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 12:07 AM
9

Again, I think your friend is playing word games here. He could say that women are treating their pregnancies as disposable. Or that society values hedonism over the labor of child-rearing. But invoking the specific supernatural and emotional context of child sacrifice is just a rhetorical gotcha.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 11:32 PM
18

Do you disagree that the women getting these abortions are sacrificing the fetus for something else (e.g. to live the life they want to)? Yes, because they don't want the fetus. It isn't a sacrifice if you don't actually want/love/value the item you're giving away. At best, it's an exchange. To be extra-charitable to your friend, he could possibly be using "sacrifice" in an emotionally neutral way, in the "I sacrifice the first fruit of the harvest to the gods" way or whatever. But comparing a p…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 09:59 PM
17

Yup. Here's my anecdotal evidence: I went to an extremely highly-rated law school, both nationally and globally. In the summer of my graduating year, there was a spate of marriages and breakups among my classmates. People either locked down their similarly educated partner (i.e. doctor, lawyer, engineer, finance bro/sis) or dumped their lower-status partner now that they were finally pulling in the big bucks after 7+ years of education. Ultimately, people who have to work for their wealth in som…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 09:50 PM
26

No, there actually isn't enough ritual involved in the abortion procedure for it to count as a sacrifice. I was talking about it to the Dark Lord Moloch this morning; he says we need more robes and torches. But more seriously, the fundamental aspect of child sacrifice is, y'know, sacrifice. Giving up something you want and love for the greater good. If the pregnancy was never desired in the first place, the whole premise falls apart. Your friend is using emotionally laden language to serve his i…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 09:40 PM
13

Sincere question: if men are marinated in self-improvement messaging from childhood, where does RP outrage come from and why is RP status advice valued? If somebody constantly told you that women only want tall, rich men with six packs, you'd probably treat hypergamy as a fact of life, equivalent to 'the sky is blue'. You'd understand status intuitively, wouldn't need lists of high-value traits (like those in this subreddit's wiki), and could pick out its errors immediately. You wouldn't be mad …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 12:11 PM
9

Women's media doesn't usually portray fit, attractive people as a neutral thing. It's always "How did she get her beach body? What are her diet tricks?" A really famous example of this effect is Anne Hathaway in her Les Mis era - she dropped a ton of weight to play a dying character and kept getting questions about her "secret". She basically snapped at an interviewer about it at one point, saying that her diet was medically dangerous and that nobody should want to emulate it. And yeah, I'm not …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 11:35 AM
6

I think you're onto something here. I've certainly never looked online for dating advice either. Like you, I ask my friends and family, with the assumption that they know me well and will offer something personalized and insightful.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 03:52 AM
25

I think we're talking about different types of advice-givers here. My post is about mainstream, everyone-sees-it stuff. Magazines, yes, but also self-help books, movies/romcoms, discussions of celebrity bodies, etc, etc. The kinds of women who make videos online - usually independent creators who can't compete with Cosmo and The Rules even if they wanted to - exist in reaction to these messages and offer an alternative perspective. I don't think it's great advice, for the record. It's not action…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 03:49 AM
59

Women receive self-improvement advice from the second we're old enough to have romantic interests. Magazines for teen girls provide fitness, fashion, and makeup recommendations, with the general theme of "be pretty, not slutty". Woman-oriented magazines contain sex advice that's essentially "Do literally anything to keep it spicy for your man". The language of "deserving" is deployed in a really interesting way: to market things that aren't super fun. (Don't you deserve to get a bikini wax? Don'…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 01:52 AM
3

That's a 3 to 1 disparity per session for the woman and it doesn't mention how many sessions a man gets during the month. It'll be far higher for a woman. Uh huh. What's your point? Just because someone makes more at the same job than you would doesn't magically make that job "not an option" or "like winning the lottery" or whatever analogy we're on this time. It can make a sex act doubly undesirable. Be serious. OP characterized getting fucked by strangers as "less grueling than Walmart", and s…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 07:25 PM
3

Nope, per the article I linked, stars make $1500 per session and regular Joes make $500. Also, gay vs. straight shouldn't matter - porn is sex with people you aren't attracted to. Ultimately, all I'm seeing in this conversation is a bunch of men arguing against all facts and logic that porn isn't an option for them when it pretty plainly is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 06:33 PM
2

Elsewhere in this thread, I linked the numbers on men working in straight, filmed porn: $500 - 600 per session. Are you making less than a woman? Sure. Is that chump change? You tell me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 06:02 PM
4

Ah yes, 7 million dollars per month. Penury. I don't leave my house for that, and I apologize for thinking any man would either. More seriously, I'm not saying that men make up the majority of OnlyFans earners. Far from it. But I'm flagging for OP that online explicit content is both an option for men and a very lucrative one. "It's hard for me" is never an excuse not to try.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 05:31 PM
5

"Gay for pay" = a straight person having gay sex. That is the opposite of gay performers getting more work. Seriously, what are you even arguing and where are your stats?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 04:32 PM
4

The only type of sex work fully open to the average woman (in the States, that's a BMI of 30, and a median age of 38) is full-contact sex with strangers/"traditional" prostitution. She's not in shape enough to be a stripper or an up-market escort, and her size puts her in the more niche "fetish content" corner of online sex. Basically, all the dire stats about mortality and abuse others have brought up apply to this population in particular. Joining it isn't a privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 02:44 PM
4

Earnestly, why would that matter? Being a porn star = fucking or being fucked by people you aren't attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 02:32 PM
17

Very interesting! I think this aligns with the perspective of many people in this debate regarding porn being gruelling. Just reading this list made me tired.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 02:06 PM
5

I imagine that's up to the individual performer. Like every independent contractor, they gotta hustle. But if they do, then their earning potential exceeds Walmart by orders of magnitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:57 PM
6

I just looked up some stats: back in 2016, male performers averaged $500-$600 per scene or day. Better known male performers could earn $700-$900; superstars up to $1,500. Do the Walmarts in your area pay that? Mine don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:48 PM
5

That's my suspicion too. I'd also put forward the risks of STI and off-label drug use to maintain erections.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:29 PM
10

Let's be real: The average woman wouldn't make a bank on OnlyFans either. This is played out by the stats; the median OnlyFans creator makes ~5000 USD per year, which is a poverty wage.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:27 PM
28

A very significant proportion of filmed porn includes a male and a female performer. The man might make less and receive less acclaim than his co-star, but it's not Walmart wages. What's stopping men from considering this role desirable and vying for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 12:53 PM
7

joke/jōk/: A joke is a display of humor in which words are used within a specific and well-defined narrative structure to make people laugh and is usually not meant to be interpreted literally.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 12:20 PM
42

I went down your list of best-paid OnlyFans creators and found Tyga (7.69 million per month), Safaree Samuels (1.91 million per month), and Casanova (1.05 million per month) on it. These are all dudes. Men need to stop fudging the data in their own posts and go do porn instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 11:53 AM
-1

Where I agree with Red Pill: Male sex appeal is a constellation of many factors that work together. You can't and shouldn't reduce it to just looks (in the style of Black Pill) or just personality and, idk, basic hygeine (in the style of Blue Pill). Women will look for different kinds of men at different points in their lives. Online dating apps don't favor men or happy relationship outcomes in general. Where I agree with Blue Pill: Red Pill for women isn't in their interest. The archetypical Ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 01:20 PM
2

I'm usually pretty critical of RP, but it's right in not equating status solely with money. In my general social context, rich YouTubers are perceived as tacky, at risk of burnout, financially illiterate, scandal-ridden, etc. It's like old money vs. new money on steroids.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 04:09 AM
7

In this hypothetical, the decisive factor would be the guy's profession. In my circles, it's perfectly fine to date someone in a respectable, "old-fashioned" career who happens to make less than you, but pretty bad to date someone perceived as unskilled or under-educated (think: Twitch streamer, life coach, etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 01:45 AM
7

Your hypothetical is about "a better offer", but now you're saying that women don't habitually assess what a man offers? What are we even arguing about here?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 12:44 AM
46

Only a very small amount of women truly like guys based on their status. Disagree. Most women won't be as blunt about it as I am, but nobody wants to lose social status because of their partner. To put it another way, I don't want my family judging me for marrying someone with a low-status job or my boss side-eyeing me at the Christmas party because my boyfriend's an obvious idiot. I don't want to take a financial hit because of my partner, nor do I want him to embarrass me socially. And a low-s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 12:40 AM
5

Is the expensive car a rental? Is the jewelry real? Is this guy truthful about his high-status job? People misrepresent themselves all the time, and even if you assume that women are status-seeking missiles, it takes a lot of work to properly vet a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 12:34 AM
29

Yes, I'm more sexually adventurous with hot, fit people. If your body attracts me, I want to interact with it more. If you have physical stamina, we can have more sex and in a wider variety of positions. I won't try fetishes that disgust me with anyone, but if my partner has the proven ability to turn me on and get me off, I'd be more willing to try something I'm otherwise neutral about.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 10:55 PM
7

That's exactly it: a signal is an implication, not a hard fact. I still don't understand why you'd think a woman would leave her boyfriend because of some stranger's unverified vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 10:50 PM
9

I don't really understand your theory of women here. You're saying that a woman would jump ship if she has a better offer, but you're also arguing she'll assess that offer based on looks and wealth signifiers that could be faked alone? That's not even RP. It's like... bird mating behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 10:43 PM
10

Okay, but if I were to assess you in comparison with an existing partner, you'd have to arrive with the following: resume bank statement + investment portfolio + list of properties list of hobbies friends, family, coworkers, and pets Most men do not do that, and so, I simply cannot rationally conclude that you're better than what I've got.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:40 PM
1

I would want the best for them without sacrificing myself, my other family, and my future kids. And that's what a pre-nup safeguards.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 02:30 AM
3

It's all dependent on jurisdiction, but where I live, exes can access stuff you've had prior to the marriage if they sucessfully argue that they contributed to it. And, to be fair, when people share a home/cottage/vacation home/etc., it's pretty likely that the non-owner really does improve the property somewhat.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 02:27 AM
29

Everyone with assets should sign a pre-nup. I don't want my spouse getting their hands on the house I bought before marriage, my pension, my investments, my family's other properties, and my inheritance should our relationship end.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 05:27 PM
1

Every single dating preference is acceptable. However. People also have to learn to deal with the consequences of their preferences. If you can't attract the kind of person you want, that's a you-problem and not a social one.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 05:03 PM
5

In today's society it will lead to less incels and femcels, less frustrations from both genders, less people getting pumped and dumped, less people stuck with a horrible partners, less people getting hurt emotionally, less sexual assaults, less loneliness... This is way too optimistic. For a lot of men in this sub - and irl - the core desire is to be wanted, sexually and emotionally, by an attractive and moral woman. "What if I'm not the most intense relationship she's ever had?", "What if she's…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 04:32 PM
0

Nope, you've shifted the goalposts - I'm talking specifically about men's rights for men as a class. Civil rights movements include men and women who share a specific marginalized characteristic, which changes the dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 11:46 AM
0

Earnestly, men are remarkably resistant to class consciousness. It's why civil rights movements the world over run circles around them, despite being significantly smaller and facing far more violent opposition.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 12:14 AM
0

In my experience, men hate thinking of themselves as the beneficiaries of social justice efforts, even those run by other men. Like, if all the Chads of the world started a grant foundation for your therapy bills, would you take advantage of it? Or would you flinch at the fact that you're not a Chad and that you weren't invited to run the foundation?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 02:51 PM
45

The most effective dating advice is personalized, direct, and yes, often a little hurtful. No institution can tell you what you as an individual are doing wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 01:43 PM
5

Huh, I'm trying to articulate what I'd feel. I guess I'd be sad that he proved incompatible, in the same way anyone's sad when a potential good thing doesn't work out? But yeah, I wouldn't be offended or mad.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:55 PM
10

I wouldn't be offended, per se, but I would think this guy just showed himself to be a poor candidate for a long-term relationship. The best sex of my life? What made it so fun was a) the fact that we were both young, dumb, and in love, and b) the fact that we had college roommates. We were sneaking around, almost getting caught, finding weird new locations to hook up, that kind of thing. The point I'm making is that the context can't be recreated. My first love is over. I have my own bedroom. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:24 PM
0

It's a legal standard, and it's not my fault that people are ignorant about that. Trying to apply it outside the law is just whining "Why isn't the world fair?" with a few extra steps.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 11:57 AM
16

There's a subreddit where women recommend porn videos to other women. Most members are straight, and the mods are diligent about keeping it a woman-only posting space. Based on my years of lurking, here are some observations: Lesbian porn is posted a few times a month, garnering upvotes and positive comments. Women talk about enjoying the vibe (more respectful, less gross) and the focus on women's pleasure. Women talk positively about the female actors' bodies, how they're having fun, and the dy…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 02:39 AM
0

I don't agree that the Ghomeshi rules rebut the presumption of innocence. At absolute most, they limit a defense attorney's ability to surprise a complainant during cross-examination with records that the complainant him- or herself already knows about.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:24 AM
1

I actually didn't know that, but it tracks. I have found my antagonistic, loud people.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 11:22 PM
0

I feel called out by this. Profiled accurately as an ENTP >:(
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 11:04 PM
1

This is not what the presumption of innocence is A presumption of innocence is only ever guaranteed in court. Outside it, people can decide you're guilty with 0 evidence, weak evidence, their own gut feeling, etc. It's unfair, but it's human nature, not a feminist construct. And again, batterers seemingly enter this Duluth model therapy thing after contact with the justice system. So innocence has been rebutted and guilt has been proven at the applicable legal standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 10:44 PM
3

its a lonely road with only room for her and him, its supposed to be all consuming. This is a country lyric. If Taylor Swift sang it while wearing white and twanging a guitar, I'd be like.... yeah, checks out. It's not desirable or undesirable. It's just a fully fictional description of a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 10:40 PM
-1

I just did a really fast review of what the Duluth model is, and I don't think it takes away a man's presumption of innocence. In other words, if you're the defendant in criminal court, the judge isn't going to be like, "Your female partner says you abused her. Go directly to jail; no evidence needed. Bam, Duluth model applied!" Rather, it's this whole therapeutic approach that says men can only be perpetrators, women can only be victims, etc. It only kicks in after a man is identified as a batt…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 10:15 PM
7

Rich and faithful, baby! I like fancy vacations and no risk of STIs.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 09:09 PM
1

Sure! She sounds like exactly the kind of academic feminist I'm thinking of. Did she advocate for removing the presumption of innocence from men accused of sex crimes? (Sincere question; I did a quick Google search and didn't find a quote, but I assume she did a ton of academic writing that I'm not familiar with.)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 09:01 PM
4

Oh my god. Your blood supports my life, you say? I'd love to hear more details about this rather vampiric relationship we're in. But in the meantime, I'd like to note that you're not exactly disproving RP's penchant for drama here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 08:48 PM
-3

I'll take any feminist legal scholar, social worker, psychologist, judge, etc - a professional person with some knowledge of the justice system. I just don't want to debate against Tumblr screencaps or somesuch.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 08:44 PM
11

Earnestly, I think the description of a bad boy in this post is just too intense and breathless for anyone to ever embody it. If you aspire to a relationship where you're "burning like a comet that’s destined to crash and burn", you'll probably be disappointed.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 08:40 PM
2

My somewhat nuanced take on the media goes like this: When a man is being held accountable for numerous, serious crimes (like P. Diddy), the MSM is pretty good about explaining the facts and maintaining some degree of neutrality. When a man is guilty of... nothing, legally, but maybe has bad vibes (like Andrew Huberman), the MSM loses its ever-loving mind and goes hard on the sensationalist reporting. As a result, I think it leaves a lot of people thinking, "Wait, if they totally flubbed the rep…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 08:17 PM
15

Reading this made me realize that RP gives men a lot of license to think about better, sexier, deeply fictional men ad nauseam. Lots to unpack there, but women seem rather secondary to this whole fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 07:36 PM
5

It seems that some men really hate high standards, but they also hate the implication that a woman might settle for someone beneath her previously stated standards. Genuinely, what's the solution here? Demanding that we all enter adulthood fantasizing about Statistically Average Joe? Do 'high status' and 'low status' women (however you define that) have to focus on >7s or <4s, respectively? I have so many questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 07:04 PM
8

I don't think it's useful, honestly. If it were up to me, the slogan would be "Don't have an immediate negative presumption against women; listen to the facts fairly and rationally." That's a mouthful, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 06:23 PM
4

I'd review the evidence and decide for myself. A knee-jerk reaction in any direction is bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 06:13 PM
4

So, it's actually interesting that you bring up Title IX and changes to it. The mainstream conservative legal perspective argues that it doesn't go far enough to actually create the presumption of innocence, even though the revised text of Title IX requires it: Institutions are taking every opportunity to avoid providing due process across the board, even going so far as to create three separate disciplinary systems per campus to afford students as few protections as legally permissible. One set…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 06:11 PM
8

The presumption of innocence is only guaranteed to exist in courts. Outside them, people are allowed to judge you without evidence or to apply a less stringent standard than a judge would. By extension, the public is, of course, allowed to do that to women coming forward with allegations and frequently has.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 05:24 PM
2

Okay, sure. I'm also open to examples where feminists tried to change the civil standard in court from "balance of probabilities" (or equivalent) to "guilty until proven innocent". Universities are allowed to set their own expulsion standards, which are much stricter than those of the courts. (For instance, a court can't... exile you from the country for getting too many Fs in one semester. A university can absolutely kick you out.) If you're mad about universities holding too much sway over the…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 05:09 PM
5

Neither of your examples has anything to do with the legal system.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 05:02 PM
14

Take metoo for example, they tried to take away presumption of innocence of men. The presumption of innocence is a legal construct, extended to a criminal defendant by the courts. Please point me to a serious argument made by feminists to strip defendants in sex-crime cases of that presumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 04:52 PM
1

If American Christians genuinely believed this, the "be debt-free" message would target boys and men equally and Christian colleges would only offer professional degrees (highly paid) and trades certifications (highly employable). Neither is the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 04:20 PM
3

Justice for Moldova and Belarus! Nobody ever remembers them! But specific country aside, I think rural dating in many parts of the region showcases similar unfortunate trends: insularity, high social judgment, reactionary purity culture, and strict gender roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 03:45 PM
1

Keeping it vague for privacy purposes: a former Eastern Bloc country, neither particularly big nor particularly famous for liberalizing quickly post-1991
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 03:29 PM
2

Let's be real: "debt-free" is a dog-whistle for "not college educated" in most American Christian circles. I wish these people would just say the regressive thing out loud. (And, to be fair to the article being critiqued, its author did indeed mention college as a significant source of debt. Good for her, I guess.)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 02:41 PM
6

Although I've lived my whole life in the global North, my family is originally from a conservative country which values high social cohesion. (Incidentally, cringefail Western men love attempting to find wives there, assuming that the women are adequately trad. ) A few observations about dating within that context: Outside the Godless Liberal CitiesTM, it's bad form to approach strange women in the streets or even in a casual social setting. You are introduced via kinship networks, and if a resp…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 01:57 PM
5

Same deal re: evaluation of the facts, with an added caveat: I'd also try to push back against the denial that something that bad could have happened to my kid. Anecdotal evidence, of course, but my city had an abusive-priest scandal and an abusive-teacher scandal when I was growing up. In both cases, there were victims of both sexes. I'm still amazed how many parents stuck their head in the proverbial sand during and after these events.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 02:32 AM
32

I know a lot of parents in complete denial about their kids' criminality, even after multiple jail sentences. I know precisely 0 parents who incorrectly believe their children to be criminals. All of which is to say that, if my hypothetical son were accused of SA, I would work really, really hard not to succumb to standard maternal bias and to evaluate the case on the facts.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 01:58 AM
4

Yes, and the hypothesis that most people there are 100% acting in good faith and providing their true beliefs is equally untestable. And that goes to undermining OP's point - he thinks that an anonymous sub with some degree of blatant lying and posturing going on is representative of ""society"". Pretty big claim without supporting evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 04:35 PM
0

My Scenario B goes something more like this: Most posts on AITA aren't credible, but they're entertaining. Commenters engage with them like stories or hypotheticals, imagining how they themselves would respond to this unlikely situation. (Of course, in their imagination, they're awesome and quippy and always right. Again, totally made up.) Upvoted comments are emotionally charged and prompt lots of personal narratives, discussion, and speculation. Incidentally, this blend of reality and fiction …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 03:52 PM
-2

People who are responding to pretty obvious fake stuff as if it's genuine probably aren't airing their real beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 03:16 PM
-4

We'll have to agree to disagree. As I told another commenter, I went to AITA just now, clicked on the top post, and it immediately struck me as fake. I scrolled past the first 200+ comments, and nobody called it out. Maybe I'm too skeptical, or the sub's vibe too credulous, but I simply don't think whatever's going on there is representative of reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 03:09 PM
1

Wait, I'm not following. The famous schoolgirl kidnapping was specifically a kidnapping of female children, to my understanding. However. Boko Haram also kidnapped over 10,000 boys in other incidents, and their disappearance got detailed and sympathetic coverage. One such article: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/21/magazine/boko-haram-the-boys-from-baga.html
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 03:04 PM
-1

I very much am playing a character! For one thing, I'd be way nicer to you if we met IRL because "debate me, bro!!" is the ethos here, whereas "let's coexist in society" is the ethos in real life. Now that we've established people go on the internet and lie (to various degrees), let's talk AITA. I sincerely believe the regulars go there to react to stories like they're soap operas and to stir the pot with their comments. Yes, yes, our reaction to fiction says something about us, but it's a lot h…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 02:52 PM
-10

That's my issue, though: I don't think most AITA commenters are genuine. On some level, they know they're reacting to fiction, and they're having fun being dramatic, judgmental, and mic-droppy, for lack of a better term.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 02:43 PM
-11

I mean, half the sub is under 24. I'm pretty confident they have zero social power outside of their university's anime club.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 01:34 PM
-11

Counterpoint: AITA is a creative writing subreddit, whatever its stated goal. Most of the stories strike me as outright fake, fishing for sympathy, trying to Make An Important Point, told third-hand, or some combination of the above. Maybe the commenters are biased; maybe they're playing characters. In any case, extrapolating anything from there to ""society"" is a reach.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 01:19 PM
2

This is the third comment I've gotten attributing normal, non-gendered human maturation (with studied neurological mechanisms behind it, totally outside of your control!) to self-improvement. Interesting. But more to your point, I don't think it's all genetics. I think most people are average and that the most modifiable behaviors are beta-coded by RP. A tight-knit social circle is actually a great example of that - if you're not winning at the dominance hierarchy within it, you're not doing it …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 12:57 PM
2

Going from a shy teenager to a confident adult is a reasonably common and gender-neutral human experience. As I said in another comment, I'd give the Red Pill a lot of credit if it told boys to just relax and discover themselves. Instead, it does them the disservice of mixing in some modifiable traits (i.e. style, confidence) with a whole bunch of fixed ones (intelligence, wit, the "social hierarchy" stuff). I'll give you one example from our Alpha Traits wiki page that raised my eyebrows: Leade…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 12:20 PM
2

Going from a shy teenager to a confident adult is a mainstream human experience. It's not attaining Chad characteristics and it's not gendered; it's simply growing up. And frankly, I'd give the Red Pill a lot of credit if it told boys, "Chill out, you're a kid. Give it a decade and a half; you'll be way more confident in your skin." Moreover, lots of people don't get more confident with practice. They suffer from anxiety, they clam up at parties, they can't public speak, etc. This is where mitig…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 11:45 AM
4

I think the real problem with self-improvement (as imagined by RP-ers) is that they've coded largely immutable traits as alpha, and they are simply never going to achieve them. You can't exercise your way out of being 5'6" or into facial symmetry. You can't make yourself smart, driven, funny, or verbally charming. (We all know people trying to be these things, and it's actually less likable than simply lacking the trait.) Good leadership skills and dominance are rare. Manufacturing enthusiasm fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 01:35 AM
–

I'm a lawyer, I've worked in family law (including family court) and my entire professional network is lawyers. The idea that any lawyer would counsel their clients against their own stated interests when the law is in their favor is simply inaccurate. (Don't get me wrong, honest lawyers will tell you upfront when you're likely to lose. But - in a situation where an ordinary man is seeking joint custody - he's typically in a neutral-to-winning position by default.) Let's forget lawyers for a sec…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 05:52 PM
–

You've clearly met 0 family lawyers. Really, really acrimonious divorces are how they finance their cottages. But more seriously, most jurisdictions have some kind of presumption that both parents should be involved and that the kid should be consulted. If Dad ends up in some ludicrously slanted custody arrangement, he typically worked hard to get it or behaved so egregiously that the judge threw that presumption out the window.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 04:58 PM
-1

I took the male loneliness epidemic more seriously before reading this post. To be less snarky, niceness is something that you implement in all areas of your life, or else you're just an asshole selectively pretending not to be. If you're defending the inalienable male right to be mean/cruel/whatever with your whole chest, that's fine. But don't expect me to treat men's lack of human connection with any sympathy - sounds like you all played yourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 03:14 PM
9

Directly, no. But there are probably a few broken-up people who reminisce about Failed Threesome Night as one of the death knells of their relationship. And that goes to my original point: threesomes are emotionally different than many other sex acts, and I think people who've done them but don't want to repeat them are onto something.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 12:52 PM
21

That's an odd hypothetical. If the wife never wanted threesomes after Brad, it stands to reason that her threesome experience with Brad kinda sucked. A husband raging because he doesn't get to traumatize/gross out/otherwise violate his wife's boundaries seems distasteful. (Incidentally, I'm one of this sub's resident bisexuals. In my stupid youth, I actually entertained a few straight couples who wanted a third person for One Special Threesome Night. The dynamic between the established partners …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 12:18 PM
7

There's a kernel of something real in this debate: sometimes, you want to do a weird sex thing with someone you'll never see again (or someone you don't love, at least) because you feel too vulnerable doing it for the first time with an established partner. However. In my experience, if you end up liking the weird sex thing, you're interested in repeating it, including with an established partner. And if you hate it, you don't do it again, period. The person doesn't matter; the kink/act is the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 12:02 PM
6

I really like your note about boundary transgression. That's absolutely something people should be aware of, and I'd personally class it as a red flag. I'm a little warier re: research into signs of narcissism and sociopathy, simply because the waters are so clouded by pseudoscience (i.e. those Youtube channels that use fictional character Hannibal Lector as a case study). Last but not least, I do agree that introspection and self-awareness are protective traits. I also think that a huge percent…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 11:48 AM
8

As you say, OP is discussing debate tactics here. He doesn't think that women fail to acknowledge historical hardships vs. modern-day rights in the privacy of our hearts and minds. He wants some weird conversational self-flagellation instead of a "defensive redirect" to the matter actually being discussed. And that's why I consider this being beneath my dignity: gratitude is fine and good, but I'm not going to performatively weaken my argument. We can take it as assumed that I like electricity a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:53 AM
–

Both of these parents sound like trash people. And yes, I'm holding the dad just as accountable as the mom; I sincerely doubt she's going behind his back on this, which means that he's equally willing to exploit his kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:41 AM
-1

I can't speak for women as a collective, but in my experience, genuine abusers are really, really good at concealing that tendency. They operate by getting people outside the relationship to believe them over their victims, which means that they present as charming, rational, dependable, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:27 AM
3

Neither of my questions has been answered, though. How should these women be measuring empathy (or kindness or emotional intelligence), and how do you stop men from faking it? Like, okay. Maybe every woman you know has been dating a guy running a dog-fighting ring or otherwise engaged in overt sociopathy. In that case, I'll take my ball and go home; you've won the argument. But I suspect that they fell for some asshole's charm offensive, and now they're trying to discern whether his assholery is…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:21 AM
3

I noticed that many women gravitated toward the stereotypical "bad boy"—the tall, attractive, often abusive type who always seemed to have an edge. Women don't have a magical, abuse-sensing radar. (Much like all the guys terrified of paternity-fraud don't have a magical, fraud-sensing radar, but I digress.) With that uncomfortable fact out of the way, your whole post can be boiled down to, "Why do women date men they find attractive?? That seems unfair." Now, you might think I'm being glib, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 09:21 PM
22

So I read about a man who has kids complaining about only being able to meet women who have kids and the op claimed he was being hypocritical. But this is a fallacy because men and women are not the same on the dating market. If your theory were true, this man wouldn't be complaining. He'd just be dating a bunch of hot, childless women who found him to be high-status.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 06:46 PM
0

I mean, you didn't even provide a link (or several) to the phenomenon you're describing. I sure would love to assess it, instead of relying on your very personal and editorialized summary of events.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 04:42 PM
0

Wait, how do you know how the woman framed the video on her social media, unless you're a) looming over her shoulder, or b) following all her accounts? This is very much a self-constructed problem. But, more broadly, if you want me to play the role of Iranian Vice Police, you're gonna have to pay me. Otherwise, I'm not getting caught up in whatever personal drama you're trying to generalize to the whole population.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 04:33 PM
18

That's kind of my point. Either everyone or no-one should virtue-signal. (And I think virtue-signalling is bad, so. There's my bias.)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 03:01 PM
24

Did you create it? Nah, I'm pretty sure you're the beneficiary of your country's foreign policy, healthcare research, and safety regulations, without any significant contribution. Either you do some ancestor worship, Roman-style, for all the good they've done you, or you don't get to demand the same of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:57 PM
35

Hey, OP, what are you looking for here? Do you want an abject (and frankly, pathetic) display of gratitude for the fact that marital rape is illegal and I get to use a washing machine instead of a river? That's below my dignity. Incidentally, I don't see men performatively thanking modernity for saving them from the beaches of Normandy/an unventilated factory floor/death by heart disease when they hit middle age. So I think you know this ask is below your dignity too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:49 PM
–

God, I wish 78% of men in this sub (as in the cited study) believed themselves to be hotter than average. We'd have a utopia.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:19 PM
4

Women have nothing to gain by dating most men. Someone who doubles the hours of housework you do, thinks that he's "helping with the kids" when he should be parenting them, makes the orgasm gap a reality in your very own bedroom, dumps all his loneliness on you, and has some cringefail hobby that a) costs a bunch of money and b) embarrasses you? Kill me. It's interesting that redpillers think women only want the top 20% of men. I don't disagree - I just think the definition of 'top' includes 'do…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 03:03 AM
15

If "nice guys" truly have bad personalities, why are they so good at making and keeping friends? Most nice guys don't have objectively awful personalities. They're usually people who take a while to learn the social requirements of a role. Because they've been practicing friendship since they were kids, they're pretty good at it. It just takes them time to get equally good at romance. (Nice Guys who are mocked on the internet tend to have several glaring issues which they expect women to overloo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 06:49 PM
–

Earnestly, OP, it sounds like you're dealing with some anxiety and/or scrupulosity. And that's not something that a woman - even a long-term partner - can fix for you. I actually looked at the study you referenced, noticed that it contained self-identified blackpilled men as a clearly identified demographic, and put it straight into the trash (mentally). This is an extremely niche and damaging ideology and its inclusion completely devalues the research. (Also, absolute lol at "convenience sample…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 12:51 PM
3

I think I'm doing the opposite of throwing my kids under the bus. I want them to enter their chosen career debt-free, and that involves being pretty selective in who their other parent is.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 08:59 PM
11

Probably more earnest than you're looking for, but here goes: relationships aren't just love/sex/a family unit. They determine the kind of lifestyle you lead economically, culturally, and socially. I bring a very specific package to the table: educated professional with artistic interests who'll invest heavily in her kids. You might not like or want that package for all kinds of reasons (fair!), or you might envision a dynamic where one partner brings all those things and the other doesn't have …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 06:50 PM
18

Ooh, this is interesting. I have lots of cons too, don't get me wrong. I'm argumentative. I'm high maintenance. I speak a second language with my family and it's important to me that my future kids know it too; this could make a partner feel alienated. I'm not a foodie (keto for health reasons), and I don't drink. I hate driving. I don't know a ton about investing; if I ever dated a real finance bro, he'd lose his mind. Basically, the most common complaint about me is, "Oh, she's way too much wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 06:27 PM
5

Out of all my siblings, I'm the most like my dad. As a result, we get along very well, and I think he "gets" me. I hold his opinion in high regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 05:39 PM
5

I don't know how applicable this is to your situation, but in my social circles, we're all pretty open to setting up our school and work friends. If you're close to anyone in your alumni network, maybe get them to put the word out that you're looking. Also, totally out-of-left-field suggestion: athletic classes that are women-dominated. I swear my spin class is some kind of secret matchmaking service. Not only did the owners meet and marry through spin, but we've got, like, three other couples w…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 05:31 PM
6

Keeping it vague for internet purposes: younger millennial and out of school/in the workforce for 5 years
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 04:57 PM
20

Good news: I'm bi! Bad news: you're gross!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 04:42 PM
25

Eh, I'm responsive to my setting. In real life, I'd never start with, "HEY WANNA KNOW MY BMI?" But this is a very particular corner of reddit, and I know that I'd be accused of being ugly if I didn't specifically preempt that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 04:41 PM
26

Honest answer: probably not. It's an important personal value to support my future kids to the same extent that my parents supported me and my siblings. This entails 2 adults with professional jobs or me being promoted to god-emperor (sadly unlikely).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 04:37 PM
27

You know, it's funny: I almost put "I love debate" into this self-description and then cut it. (It's not a universally attractive trait, that's for sure.) But it's 100% why I'm here.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 04:24 PM
5

💛 💛
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 04:02 PM
80

Don't make me regret this. I'm objectively attractive (5'10", BMI: 20, gym 4x a week, feminine facial features). I make good money in a respectable profession and maintain a fun, interesting lifestyle in a big city (six-figure income, homeowner, frequent traveller, membership-holder in a bunch of artistic + historical institutions around here, etc.). I'm great at date-planning and gift-giving. It's super easy to make me laugh, and I'm generally sunny. I'm close with my family, friends, and cultu…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 03:48 PM
-1

The most normie woman alive in the world has heard, "Lose some weight and slap on some makeup if you want a boyfriend" since she was twelve years old. Constant self-improvement is mainstream female socialization. I actually do agree re: people enjoying each other's company as a basic requirement of dating. My OP was describing an obstacle to it: men who are incapable of presenting an enjoyable version of themselves because the self-loathing is too intense.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 03:09 PM
1

Yup. I’ve noticed this manifesting in a really interesting way: single men who are incapable of making even one positive argument for why women should date them. Don’t get me wrong, they can cajole and complain and produce endless reams of TikToks where women hold seemingly-unrealistic standards. But what good thing do they bring to the relationship? Radio fucking silence. I can think of nothing less attractive than a person totally lacking self-esteem and self-advocacy. If you don’t value yours…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 02:25 PM
20

I feel like this assertion is comparing apples to rubber ducks. The same mental illness/neuroatypicality manifests differently within and across sexes. Somebody with Bipolar I might be a problem gambler, an extreme sports enthusiast, promiscuous, or a very successful writer during their manic episodes, which vary in frequency anyway. An autistic person might be adorably nerdy about trains or non-verbal and chewing their fingers. You see how some of these things might be much bigger dealbreakers …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 01:55 PM
11

Also, the man's obsession throughout human history to control women's sexuality by slut-shaming women was actually invented because of paternity uncertainty. If I'm reading you correctly, you're arguing that - if women just stopped making a big deal out of it and took paternity tests - men would be normal and drop the slut-shaming. Girl (possibly), I wish. If you hang out in this sub long enough, you'll notice that our red pillers typically dismiss a) agreeing about paternity testing at the begi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 12:19 PM
3

Okay, so why have the kid in the first place? If it's really the death of liberty, then you'll avoid it at all costs. Good news - you've just been marked safe from paternity fraud.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 07:06 PM
4

Handing over his genetic information to the state could actually hurt the man in question quite a bit. And he's unilaterally making that decision for his kid too. To take a step back for a sec, I think a lot of people are being naïve about this. Like, they think that hospitals would delete or protect this information, no government would ever subpoena it, and no insurance company would find a way to buy it. My mind boggles.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 06:27 PM
6

I think it's important to balance the security of knowing a kid's paternity against the (lack of) security in handing over the genetic code of both father and child to the hospital and, therefore, the state. (Healthcare data breaches number in the millions per year.) I'm fine with people taking this risk on personally - although I kinda feel bad for their kid - but making it policy for everyone? No, and also yikes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:47 PM
13

As far as I can tell, our local Red Pillers keep bringing up paternity testing at scale because they're dealing with a fundamental tension within their position. On the one hand, they believe that women are motivated to engage in paternity fraud. Whether it's due to hypergamy, women's inherent immoral nature, or a secret third thing, that's the core of their worldview. And they know that they already have the tools to navigate this: by having a long, boring, desperately unsexy conversation with …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 12:54 PM
3

Wait, you just said that "women can't stop cheating" and this (presumably) justifies paternity testing at scale. Isn't that holding everyone responsible - and handing their DNA over to the government; big yikes - for the actions of a few? Now, you might say that there are more cheaters than pedophiles. True! But the latter is so, so much worse than the former, and our actions against it should be equally decisive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 02:41 PM
2

Men make up 95%+ of convicted child molesters. You could argue that some of that is due to bias/reporting error/etc., but even so, the number is pretty damning! In other words, y'all took away your own right to privacy, and I am being generous and fair-minded by advocating for everyone sharing their browser history in some of my other responses.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 02:29 PM
2

I don't disagree. Browser monitoring for all + paternity tests for all is the morally consistent position. Few seem to hold it, but hey.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 02:13 PM
1

LOL, it's not a punishment at all. It's a precaution. Trust but verify!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 01:57 PM
2

I'm not forgetting about men as a class at all. In my OP, I said that the morally consistent position is browser checks and paternity tests. Protecting the interests of men, women, and children because I'm egalitarian like that ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 01:57 PM
1

It's trivially easy to install activity-monitoring software onto a computer. Much easier and cheaper than DNA-testing every baby, actually. Again, it's not about cost. It's about your personal insecurities getting a social stamp of approval.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 01:33 PM
-1

I'm even more radical in my thinking. If our Mandatory Paternity Test Squad wants to be morally consistent, they should be comfortable turning over their entire browser history from the moment of legal adulthood to their partner. It's the only way to be sure that they aren't pedophiles, which is actually much, much worse than paternity fraud and would hit their own family hardest. Nobody's taking me up on this, which goes to show that "trust but verify" is only a principle when it supports their…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 12:49 PM
1

I saw that, but I think those hobbies are different and way less effective. He wants to signal "I'm the kind of person you want to be with" and not "We do the same activity".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 01:46 AM
-1

Find a mission-driven pastime. This could be church/mosque/synagogue, cleaning up the local wetland, being on the board of a charity, whatever. I think the advice to get a hobby is fine from a self-esteem perspective, but doing something which shows what kind of person you are works way better. You're showcasing to the women there that you have compatible values, you benefit from the halo effect of helping your community, and you're meeting a demographic that's less likely to be on the mainstrea…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 12:43 AM
6

Tough-to-swallow pill for some men, apparently: Your romantic potential is subject to social judgment, not just the judgment of your partner. Your girlfriend's friends, parents, colleagues, religious/cultural community (if applicable), etc. will assess whether or not you're a worthy match for her. Sometimes - especially in those first few months when new relationship energy is high - they'll be more accurate than she is. Trying to attribute this to "sisterhood" as opposed to basic human behavior…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 04:57 PM
–

Speaking as someone who wastes her life rubber-necking the internet far left, I want to comment on the "liberal but lifts" thing. There's a loud cohort of losers online insisting that working out is a Nazi conspiracy, that our body standards are the product of eugenics, that the gym is ableist, etc. etc. It's basically, "Wahhh, I don't want to exercise cuz it's hard!!" with a social justice wrapper. I don't blame any woman alive for wanting to screen out these dudes, while still wanting a man wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 03:17 PM
9

Once, when I was a teenager, I sprinted into fast-moving traffic to help a similarly-aged boy who had fallen and gotten tangled in his bike. It feels dramatic to say I saved his life or risked mine, so I'll call it "did a pretty dangerous thing for a person I didn't know and had no professional obligation to care for." The logical explanation for this is that I'd like to live in a society where we all feel some baseline sense of obligation toward one another. This is especially true in situation…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 08:05 PM
57

Depends on the negative trait all your exes share. I'll give you a couple of examples. A few of my guy friends keep falling for women they later deem "superficial" and "high maintenance". And I always think: my good dude, she's sporting $350 eyelashes, $120 nails, a $500 haircut, and she spends $7000 on fillers each year. She's not going to be a casual, up-for-spontaneous-adventure kind of gal because she really values her appearance. Learn to spot that - all it takes is a few minutes of observa…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 05:03 PM
–

The number of American households where the man is the primary breadwinner has fallen from 85% in the 70s to roughly 55% now (source). Sounds like many men have the option of reducing that burden and have taken it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 04:28 PM
–

An alternative perspective: the era where men were expected to be sole providers created a lot of fucked-up men. Men who buckled under the pressure and landed their families in poverty. Men who sacrificed their health at Shitty Factory Job #46 and died of a heart attack at 60. Men who drank themselves to death, beat their wives, had no relationship with their kids. And, even as men were the primary paid economic force, the enormous majority of them had 0 access to upper-class women, who found pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 02:56 PM
0

I'm not sure I agree with any of these statistics, but I do think that dangerous men want to be met. Their whole shtick works better on people who don't know them/of them, and it's in their best interest to keep broadening the victim pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 06:15 PM
19

Wait, so you're saying it's shallow to care about how one's kids turn out, in terms of appearance, personality, and normalcy? The only part of you that's even partially guaranteed to live on after your death, and you're supposed to kinda handwave it and hope for the best? Sounds like you're assigning women a lot of positive characteristics (forethought, planning for the future, responsibility), and then getting mad about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 03:16 PM
32

I mean, it's not like Western men are rare in Asia. If I were a man looking to hook up with Asian women short-term I'd know that I was competing with business bros, soldiers on military bases, artists, trust-fund kids with the money for travel, athletes, and so on. Every kind of Chad you can imagine is represented in the dating pool; it isn't some idyllic paradise where your desirability shoots through the roof. Now, if you're going for the full 90 Day Fiance experience - where you semi-explicit…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 01:33 PM
–

From my general observations of RP men, many of them have a very negative view of women. This is a demographic that thinks women ride the cock carousel, baby-trap good men, initiate divorces for frivolous reasons, take all of men's hard-earned money, and so on. I'm not really here to argue whether that's true or not; I'm just summarizing a worldview. To settle the cognitive dissonance of desiring such wretched creatures, these men rely on cope. And one pillar of that cope is, "Hah hah, nobody wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 12:34 AM
–

I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I feel like a lot of the 'verify birth certificates' advocates haven't thought through the implications. A few of them, in no particular order: If you need to DNA test the dad to put his name on the birth certificate, couldn't deadbeats just not accompany their partner to the hospital? To prevent the whole deadbeat situation above from happening, wouldn't the state be motivated to collect men's DNA to ensure that nobody skipped out on responsibility? A…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 08:55 PM
0

You're allowed to want certainty! But it seems like a lot of men aren't willing to have this conversation with their partners (which would solve the whole issue immediately). They want societal expectations to do the heavy lifting for them, and that's kinda embarrassing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 05:47 PM
17

I don't disagree. At the same time, I think there are two very clear reasons why relationship talk arises so often in the context of getting laid a bunch talk. For a lot of guys, having sex with many different women simply isn't on the table for a number of reasons. Instead of going for the jugular with "Hey dude, you're kind of unfuckable," people think it's kinder to say, "Hey, why don't you try getting into a steady relationship?" with the implication that at least some sex will follow. A lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 03:11 PM
0

Some interesting questions here! The answers ultimately come down to social class and perceptions thereof. In my circles, monetizing hobbies is not really a done thing. (You can be very, very good at a hobby, but you have to at least present yourself as not in it for the money.) Somebody who games recreationally vs. somebody who makes money from game design/is a streamer/etc. falls into the same 'no thanks' category for me. I'd never claim that this was fair and objective, but most preferences a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 02:20 PM
7

A much-overlooked part of this discourse is the kinds of men who are all gung-ho about paternity tests: guys on subs like this one. You can argue that requesting a paternity test is rational and cool and should be widespread. I'm not even unsympathetic to that perspective. (I do think it's very Big Government Should Fix My Problems, but that's a topic for another time.) But you bring a certain "touch grass" energy to the conversation that scares the normies.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 01:06 PM
4

Honestly? Gaming in any amount gives me the ick. It's not rational, but I can try to break it down for your interest. It's juvenile. Adult gamers give me the same vibes as my 12 y/o brother in the basement with his friends, yelling at pixels on the screen. And I don't want to date someone who reminds me of a middle-schooler. It doesn't demonstrate any of the attributes I find attractive in men. Making something with your hands? Improving your body? Improving your mind? All of that's hot. Pretend…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 12:39 PM
2

Not to be a pedant, but in my jurisdiction (and many others!), not reviewing a pre-nup with my own lawyer would invalidate it. In your scenario, I'd actually be doing my fiance a far greater disservice by going along with his request. But all that aside, I'm getting a lot of comments struggling with the forward vs. backward-facing nature of all these relationship safeguards. A prenup is meant to protect against bad behaviour which hasn't happened yet (and reasonably could - none of us know what'…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 12:17 PM
2

People are being really intense about this "secret emergency fund" business. That's just a bank account. It can be used for anything from frivolous purchases to disaster preparedness to escaping abuse. It's not a direct accusation of any kind of bad behavior. But, all that aside, I think my browser-history analogy works a lot better because it's backward-facing. Anyone could become a bad partner in the future - an alcoholic, an abuser, whatever. It's totally fine to protect yourself against that…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 12:06 PM
7

Okay, I'm gonna give you some of my favorite examples, and you can tell me what you think of these people. Dude #1 accused my friend of cheating repeatedly because "he saw it in a dream". Once such accusation was at her Nana's 90th, where her family could overhear, which was super awkward. Turns out that he was active on the apps and projecting wildly. They're still together and engaged; mazel tov? Friend #2 moved to Dude #2's city so they could live together. On the weekend they were supposed t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 03:07 AM
5

You don't know what OP thinks based on this misframing. My good person, OP literally included sample quotes with all-caps, to be used by women when talking to their friends. They all read like 'and then everyone clapped' copy-pastas. This is what I mean about mic-drop moments: these aren't similar to the dynamics of actual human conversation and they have a clear-cut good guy and bad guy. And they're knowledgeable. Then you would be absolutely wrong. This is real life honey. Own it Earnestly, ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 02:55 AM
5

I feel like I'm talking to someone yelling "gotcha!" without making any real points. Anyway, irl relationships can't be simplified into mic-drop moments like OP seems to think, and most adults simply don't feel knowledgeable enough to hold their friends accountable or encourage breakups. I suspect this whole impression of women yas-queening their friends' relationship choices was gleaned from rom-coms.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 02:32 AM
5

Okay, explain why encouraging breaking up with a mediocre man is "enabling [someone] to do bad". Do you believe that no relationship should be left? And how do you know that my friends "do wrong" in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 02:03 AM
7

... what a strange comment. This whole post is premised upon an outsider's view of relationships. If it's a net good to hold people accountable for the wrong they do, then it's also a net good to point out the wrong done to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 01:56 AM
16

Having drafted a fair amount of prenups, I'm here to tell you that the richer party loves them until they turn into a negotiation. Then, the "but muh money" is unisex and the parents are involved and it's just a shitshow.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 12:44 AM
16

Not really. This is your everyday average woman. You're basically doing the male version of those are not men, those are boys. We're using different definitions of average, I think. If it's more than 10%, my jaw would be on the ground. Are security checks at the airport an accusation of terrorism?? I mean, you do waive a ton of your rights by setting foot in an airport, so you've definitely lost your usual presumption of innocence, privacy, etc,. Plus, airport security isn't my beloved partner; …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 12:37 AM
39

So here's the thing: a woman who passes off another man's kid as that of her husband is a deeply immoral person. You've outlined the reasons above; I won't belabour them. And asking for a paternity test is the same as asking, "Are you that kind of deeply immoral person?" To use an imperfect analogy, it's like saying, "Turn over your browser history since you were 19; I need to make sure you aren't a pedophile." Now, is that a rational thing to do? Sure, from a certain angle. Might you save yours…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 12:25 AM
4

My friends are (largely) dating deeply mediocre men. If I had the influence you think I do, I'd actually get them to level up. Of course, being an adult typically means you don't meddle that deeply in anyone's romance, so I say nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:40 PM
0

You just described a private bank account. A woman can use it for any number of things that do not include her husband. Basically, I'm not sure what you think "financial independence" means, if not "resources that let you make choices independent of your partner because he can't access those resources".
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 10:53 PM
-1

Again, I think this analogy is flawed because money fundamentally serves multiple functions. A woman might use her own private money to escape an abusive husband, get a divorce for regular reasons, after a natural disaster, because the couple's account got hacked, etc. A woman who is exclusively worried about her husband abusing her and is stashing money sounds like a thought experiment, not a real person. Meanwhile, a paternity test has one function: assuring oneself that one's wife didn't chea…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 10:44 PM
3

Having a bank account is a thing that a) pre-exists the relationship; b) is common sense during a relationship; c) actually says nothing about what a woman thinks of her partner [see point A]. I reject your claim that there's any similarity between it and a paternity test.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 10:26 PM
4

Yup. I'm seeing a lot of hair-splitting between "emergency fund" and "getaway fund", but money is fungible. Sounds like some people are really uncomfortable with the implications of women having their own financial resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 10:12 PM
5

"Secret getaway stash" is making the whole thing sound much more sinister than it is. Every adult should have a bank account in their own name. It should be assumed, from Date #1, that the person across the table from you has some money that fundamentally isn't yours and will never be yours. That's why it's so weird when husbands make this about their hurt feelings and not basic financial literacy that's recommended for everyone. If we lived in a different society where everybody got paternity t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 08:58 PM
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