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bluelightsonblkgirls Archive

View 0 posts and 109 comments by bluelightsonblkgirls on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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13

Thanks for the tag. Definitely not surprised. There’s definitely a lack of intersectionality in this sub, which honestly doesn’t surprise me. There have been plenty of times I wanted to point out the lack of intersectionality, but I can’t be bothered. Those comments the other day, however, were so egregious and blatantly racist that I couldn’t not comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 04:46 PM
16

I’m not defending anyone but the story as told wasn’t there same as described. From what i recall, he never said he didn’t want his wife to not come — he just wanted to find a mutually agreeable/fun/satisfying way for them to have sex without the major cleanup every single time. She should probably go to a doctor as most people know childbirth can cause bladder issues— but it seems that she was enjoying her newly found “kink.” Other people in the replies to his post sharing opinions and “solutio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 04:19 AM
4

Yup, it became super clear as she kept posting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 11:08 PM
10

Why do you consider AAVE low value? Please ask yourself this ans just be honest about it. All of this rationalization of your racism (but I guess you think you can’t be racist because you have black friends and a black (or POC) ex) is not cute and very low value. I’m done with this conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:10 PM
15

Listen....this is a perfect example of a time when a black&non black POC focused FDS would be beneficial, because ...🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:45 PM
8

If you are so curious you’d do what many in this thread have told you — read up on it. WEB Du Bois is not some throwaway public figure — he’s a very important figure in AA history who even coined the phrase The Talented Tenth. Read papers about this phenomenon and you will no WHY [black] people code switch. You don’t really want to know, you’re stuck on this phenomenon & AAVE (a legitimate dialect with rules and logic) being a sign of low class, intelligence and disrespectful — which is far from…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:41 PM
7

The fact that you assume that black people who code switch/speak AAVE (an actual dialect with rules) cannot articulate themselves properly is racist, full stop. Trump’s limited vocabulary is irrelevant and has no connection to code switching and use of AAVE amongst black people. ETA: fix typos; also thanks for the gold!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:17 PM
25

Please read WEB DuBois “The Souls of Black Folk” and other articles/texts and educate yourself about the veil, double consciousness and code switching because you sound lowkey racist right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 06:39 AM
-1

This is true, however that guy is not talking about licensed stylists. He’s being shady toward “kitchen beauticians” who are generally not professionally trained or licensed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 09:31 PM
2

This doesn’t make sense to me. He’s not calling her a goal digger but questioning her actions, which TO ME come off as super sketchy. Also, in most states (if the post’s OP is in the US) inheritances are separate property and not subject to community property/equitable distribution in the event of divorce so long as it’s not commingled — if it’s commingled, then it becomes marital property. This whole post is confusing and perhaps missing pieces. But IF the situation really is as described, then…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 04:47 AM
39

This is common, though — when a member of the privileged class speaks up about something another class has to go through, even though the latter has been ringing the alarm about it forever. The same occurs when a white person repeats the same thing that black or non-black POC always say, but somehow it comes across more relatable and as a lightbulb moment when a white person says it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 01:54 PM
79

LAT - living apart together - is definitely a thing and would be my preference if there was enough money to maintain two households.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 09:50 PM
4

I think men will change when they are ready to do so, though a woman may be the catalyst. So, it’s not that they are changing FOR her, but she was the spark needing to push change. That being said, I don’t think anyone — man or woman — should enter into a relationship expecting a person to change for them. That’s setting yourself up for failure. You have to evaluate people as they are and decide if the person in front of you, with all of their good and as characteristics, is someone you want to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 10:22 PM
36

Sis, what in the world? We are experiencing a global pandemic! Unless you want to video chat, I am unclear as to where you expect for you and him to “see” each other when you are supposed to be staying in as much as possible/social distancing. I think you are being unreasonable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 10:14 PM
19

It’s appreciated. 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 05:57 PM
73

I can appreciate you wanting to stay in your lane, so to speak, for these topics but I urge you to speak of up if black men say these things to you about black women. I’ve seen white and non-black WOC speak of how black men will go out of their way to denigrate black women. To keep it real, some of these women will, in turn, repeat the same things and take it further. I appreciate when non-black women nip it in the bud and do not reward these men with attention. I wish more non-black women would…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 05:42 PM
136

Honestly, I refuse to waste brain cells on this foolishness, but from a quick glance I’ve heard it all before. All I will say is that many Black men have a lot of nerve and have a lot to say considering how much they are flopping compared to Black women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 04:35 PM
9

There’s nothing “league-y” about that app. It’s basically the same types of people on other OLD apps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 12:20 AM
16

I go silent after an argument too. And by silent I mean, yes if little questions come up I’ll answer, but I will not go out of my way to engage you. It’s my time to center myself and calm down for when I feel like talking again. To your point, I agree that independence makes manipulative silent treatment ineffective. Silent treatment has never bothered me, not since I was a teen. It’s easy for me to go about my business and wait for the person (friend, family or relationship) to get it together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 04:05 PM
14

OP is from/in Scotland (per her replies) so I’m curious about the dating culture there before make any comments or assumptions. Anyone have any insight?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 03:04 AM
9

I’ve had two “work wives.” We called each other that all the time, captioned random lunch pics with the title, etc. Neither of us pairs are gay, but stuck together at the office and always helped each other out. So, on occasion I think you’ll hear same sex people use it. Not sure if it’s super common and/or if only some women would, though. Just throwing this out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 04:54 AM
2

Oh really? Need to google this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 04:45 AM
6

If you’re looking for friends, have you considered Bumble Bff? You can use it to find new friends in your area.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 11:02 PM
51

It’s the same as when white folks become jerks during BHM. I’m used to it from both ends. 🤷🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 10:58 PM
20

Maybe, maybe not. Society tells dark skinned black women they are ugly every day. Kids aren’t dumb — this little girl may have witnessed the love and adoration I that girls who don’t look like her get. (This even occurs in families sometimes, like the lighter skinned child gets more attention and less punishment than the darker one. Also, studies show that in schools darker skinned kids get worse punishments). Parents of dark skinned little girls in particular MUST go out of their way to affirm …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 04:05 PM
12

You went on this whole rant to make it seem like I want all black kids to stay in foster care when I never said anything of the sort. I said I look at it on a case by case basis. Not every white family is equipped to raise a child of a different race. I personally do not believe that a white family should go out of their way to adopt a black kid if they are going to be like the person in seeking advice who is seemingly blasé about some pretty glaring racial red flags just because it’s her husban…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 12:02 AM
29

Any person who says they “don’t see color” is automatically suspect to me. That phrase in and of itself is racist af. I also side eye people who adopt black kids, but don’t socialize them in the black community, don’t live in diverse towns, don’t have any black friends, etc. A black child is not meant to teach white adults about racism and how it’s still very much alive and well in this country. It’s selfish and often to the detriment of the child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 10:38 PM
43

Stuff like this is why I do not believe in transracial adoption as a whole, but decide on a case by case basis whether is a good idea or not. This woman clearly should not be raising a black child. The kid is going to grow up with a complex and identity issues having a mother who is not willing to leave her racist husband (and to be honest, she’s probably a lil bit racist herself if she can’t see how problematic this is), I can see it now. Bless the baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 10:20 PM
9

Where’s the link to the thread? I’m curious about what people are saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 10:17 PM
2

I agree, i pretty much said what you said in your first paragraph. She needs to move on from him. This has shown her that whenever there’s a problem (real or imagined) he will not communicate properly, and will invite other people (women) into his relationship to try and shame and belittle her. Terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 04:48 PM
0

This AITA is dumb to me. Like, yea he’s a douche (heh) for trying to knock her self esteem in the way he went about it (bringing up other female “friends” and their smell, which he should know NOTHING about), but...what if she really does smell bad? Like, people sometimes get desensitized to their own smells. I’ve heard stories from GYN friends... She needs to dumb him because he’s trash that has no tact and also make sure everything down there is functioning and smelling within normal parameter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 01:03 PM
23

I don’t find it hard to believe that some women can and do enjoy anal. All women and their anatomies are different and different things can get them off. If they like it, I love it, and will not just think that they’ve convinced themselves. But for those who are not with it and don’t want to try, that’s also fine and you shouldn’t be pushed into doing so. Heck, even for the women that like it, they shouldn’t be pushed because it seems that things could go extra wrong having anal sex with a terri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 04:39 AM
5

You’d be surprised. I see/hear women do it the time, Ijust as I’ve seen women use “men” and “females” in the same sentence. It’s super annoying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:23 PM
47

As I said in a previous thread, men judge each other by their SO’s engagement rings. This is especially true in white collar professions. These men don’t want to embarrass themselves and show they can’t afford and/or put no effort into a quality ring ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 04:49 AM
31

Not with the current scotus lineup...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 11:51 PM
24

Congrats sis but o feel uneasy about this plan being up for anyone to see. Lord forbid someone connects the dots and blows up the plan. I’d delete the OP if I were you. Also make sure you have a good attorney on your side! Good luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 12:17 PM
12

Love this answer, kinda like you read my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 12:08 AM
2

I agree, most doctors don’t know what to do or will make the nose look like what most white women would go for. There was this one black plastic surgeon who was known for rhinoplasty for black women. I wanna say he was one of the doctors featured on either The Swan or Extreme Makeover (I think the latter).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 01:54 AM
5

She didn’t need one. She could’ve gotten that look with some good contouring. Hopefully this is the only one she will get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 01:51 AM
9

Nooooooo, is it terrible?? Black women have to be really careful when it comes to rhinoplasty. A lot of doctors do NOT know how to deal with black features in the right way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 01:41 AM
7

Self confidence is super important, so if some procedures will help you with your confidence and esteem then do it! Be careful that it doesn’t become a slippery slope, though. Also, if any of your planned procedures will be to your face, I HIGHLY urge you to seek out surgeons who are proficient in working with black women and won’t have you looking crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 01:37 AM
18

A lot of times men do things poorly so that women get fed up and never ask them to do it again. Not EYE. You’d be doing it over and over until you get it right or you will do without. It’s all a jig, a transparent one at that. The problem is that some women think it’s cute for men to be helpless and they wax poetic about it (and I don’t think that’s a pick me trait, it’s just the overemphasis on the nurturing thing that takes over).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:45 PM
13

This has been making the rounds all weekend. I honestly think this is fake and just for internet clout. That said, they’re both idiots. 🤷🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:19 PM
8

I hate talking to anyone on the phone for long periods of time except my grandmothers. I don’t even call my friends — none of us are really phone people, and if any of us calls the other then the first thought is “what happened?!” So, I’m definitely not into the idea of talking to a rando man on the phone for hours. Plus, being on the phone makes it difficult for me to multitask.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 05:11 PM
19

Let me qualify this by saying that when I say “friend” I mean my aces, people who know my family, people I share things with, people I would give the shirt off my back. Just because we chill together and can share a good kii (aka laugh) doesn’t make us friends. Now, I’d never put a random man over my friends. No way, no how. But, all of my real friends are dope and fly (and my mom has always said I’ve had good tastes in friends), so I know if there was some friction between them and a guy, it wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:13 PM
39

I don’t agree with throwing people’s things away. I’m big on personal property.... That being said, she needs to leave him ASAP. Run, don’t walk. Why would you even want to be with someone who CLEARLY lack basic hygiene? That’s so gross, can you imagine all of the dead skin and dust mites that reside in there? She’s crazy for putting up with that (and I’m sure he probably doesn’t even wash his ass if he doesn’t realize this pillow is more than likely messing with his face). So, throw the man awa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 09:58 PM
3

I feel you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:31 PM
12

The only thing I will say is that I’ve seen some mods disagree on some things, so to automatically find suspect things that supposedly FDS as a whole is against is a not a full proof sign of finding Pick Mes (I refuse to say pickmeisha). Also, not everyone was a pick me before joining FDS (so much of this stuff is common sense tbh).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 04:52 PM
295

But do y’all know what the real gag is? Men care about these things too. They compete with other men — especially in white collar professions — about what rings they get their soon to be wives (I’ve SEEN it numerous times). It’s a pissing contest, in a way. The idea that only women care about engagement rings is a fallacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 03:29 PM
16

I don’t find feminism to be intersectional, so if I had to identify as something I would say that I am a “womanist”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:14 AM
2

Ahhh ok, sorry for the confusion!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:19 PM
2

?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:11 PM
38

I dunno...things happen. I remember back in the days where I plagued by billable hours, I’d have plans set up for weeks and hours before I’d have to cancel because a matter got “hot.” It happens to the best of us, depending on our chosen fields. If the guy has since apologized profusely and provided alternative dates, I’d go with the flow and take the rain check (but just make sure the date, time and location is one that’s most convenient to you).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 02:01 PM
9

From what I’ve seen/read/heard there’s a lot of biphobia (from LGBTQ+ and heterosexual sectors) that they have to deal with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 07:37 PM
12

Yea, I was going to say the same based on some Muslim folks I know. Tough situation, wouldn’t be for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 01:32 AM
6

There are women who participate in this sub who are in relationships, engaged, and married. So, no, you don’t have to be single to post in the sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 11:26 PM
52

He is using AAVE, a legitimate dialect with actual rules. The only way to know if he has “shitty grammar” is to see how he speaks/writes in a legitimate work setting, not a text message.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:37 PM
42

Here’s the post for people who want to read responses (which were overwhelmingly negative and YTA): https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f4f0kc/aita_because_i_dont_get_my_wife_gifts/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 04:17 AM
5

Randomly, but I hate “good morning/evening/night” texts. Unless you have something substantive to say, you can keep it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:43 PM
31

Days, ok and I certainly agree. But hours? Unless the person is known to be attached to their phones (and thus a delayed response would likely mean he’s actively ignoring you, which is obviously never good or ok), that’s a bit much. The same way I get busy (I especially hate those days when I have back to back to back to back meetings), I’d expect him to get busy too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:22 AM
55

Per her post history, the OP is in an abusive marriage. I pray her account isn’t found and she is able to get away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:08 AM
7

You create emotional space by dating more than one guy at a time so that your emotions are not focused on one particular man OR take up multiple hobbies (for fun and/or self improvement) so your mind doesn’t have the time to wander. It’s been two dates, how can you be sure you want to be exclusive? Just relax and keep watching his behavior and act accordingly. Also, let him be the one to brooch the topic of exclusivity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 09:32 PM
3

Here’s the direct link, since it was a comment within a thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f2wokf/waiters_what_valentine_day_disasters_have_you/fhfmy19/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 03:49 PM
1

Networking events and hobbies would be my suggestion. OLD may work (my American friend lives in Europe and has had way more success w/OLD than in the states but YMMV).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:04 PM
6

Here are the ones I rotate between: Chanel No 5, Chanel Chance, Miss Dior, J’Adore, DKNY Pure, Beyoncé Heat, Louis Vuitton Attrape-Rêves, Tom Ford Black Orchid, and Marc Jacobs Daisy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 10:59 PM
5

Ah, wow. Thanks for this, puts a lot into context now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 07:24 PM
5

Honestly, I have no clue what a Becky is either, as for years (decades even maybe), Becky was a term that black people used for white women, so when I saw that being used here I was super confused, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 07:18 PM
3

Yes! I totally agree with this. And honestly, that’s the scariest part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 02:40 AM
5

I agree! My point (though I don’t think you were necessarily disagreeing) was based on OP’s premise that rapist couldn’t get women sexually and a lot of them do not necessarily have that issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 01:54 AM
4

I was going to say something g similar to this. I think this is the best advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 01:29 AM
40

Eh, there are rapists out there with wives, gfs, FWB, etc so I’m not sure that rape can be distilled down to that theory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 12:21 AM
13

Just go to dinner but have no high expectations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 09:48 PM
8

Yep I was coming here to bring this up. Even black women who are highly educated and/or of a high socioeconomic status are not immune (see Serena Williams almost dying from childbirth, and Judge Hatchett’s DIL dying after childbirth). It’s terrible and scary. I’m friends with a [white] NICU nurse and she’s already said that if/when I have a kid, she will be right there with me (she lives cross country) to make sure I don’t die. (Though i do love and trust my MD).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 04:35 PM
1

No, these were women in FDS implying that the men they were with should be happy and please with any sex they gave them, including star fishing. The context had nothing to do with rape (and I’m sorry that you experienced that).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 03:36 PM
11

That’s fair and I totally agree with you. I really enjoyed reading her advice. Honestly, it could be the case that they need to go their separate ways regardless of the work crush. But that decision needs to be made by the married couple without making an unrelated third party a part of the equation. I like that she pointed out that without him doing the work he’d be likely to end up in the same quagmire in 10 years time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 04:45 AM
56

I didn’t see it as her having ripped him a new one. She was very fair (mentioning the fact that he allowed himself to be pushed and cajoled into getting back with her by family and friends) but forthright (bringing up the fact that these feelings may not be about the coworker but just wanting to feel something different). Her advice about him figuring himself out and having to be willing to HEAR his wife, was on point. He does need to leave his coworker alone, though, and hopefully she’s not foo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 03:51 AM
0

To be clear, starfishing is a term I learned from FDS, I didn’t make it up myself, lol. From what I gathered reading those posts/replies, yes ‘missionary — but seemingly without the woman’s involvement and the guy doing all the work. Gave me a limp fish vibe, tbh, (which is no fun to me) and it surprised me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 12:16 AM
6

I was just giving an example where a guy had to ask, and as a counter to starfishing.To me and in my circles, woman on top is “regular” (or vanilla) and provides a lot, physically, for a woman and her own pleasure (no need to wait for a man to ask or suggest).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 10:34 PM
13

That leaves room for so many things to be considered outside of vanilla, though. Like, if you’re asked to be on top and it’s not your inclination, is that now not vanilla? And I ask this because I’ve seen posts here and there intimating that starfishing should be enough for guy, which made me wonder if that’s “vanilla” to FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 10:09 PM
51

What, exactly, constitutes “vanilla sex” to FDS? I feel like vanilla sex is one of those terms (like hooking up, for example) that means different things to different people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 09:13 PM
5

Thank you, dear!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 02:21 AM
86

Ooooo would love to read the actual post that led to this comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 09:24 PM
17

Yea you did that! Your responses were very well written. Your flair should be updated, ha ha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 07:50 PM
10

Maybe this goes against the grain of FDS but I’m very much of the mind of “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.” Men aren’t mind readers and it’s unfair to expect them to be so. I think what you should do is provide positive reinforcement when he’s doing something that speaks directly to your love language. So, for example, you like gift giving/receiving per your post. Next time he gives you something you love, just be happy about it and let him know how thoughtful you found the gift and how it shows…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 07:00 PM
4

A couple can do LAT while married too! I remember this girl on twitter saying that her mentor was married but that the mentor and spouse lived in separate houses on the same block. (Apparently the mentor, when asked about moving forward, said she loved him but would always need her own space. He was an architect so he built them houses near each other). Their kids would just go back and forth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 10:26 PM
18

Just recently Gillian Anderson spoke of her LAT relationship with Peter Morgan to The Guardian. It was pretty neat. LAT is goals, to be honest. At minimum, I’ve always said if I and my spouse had enough money to afford it I’d want a place with two master bedrooms so we could have our own space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 09:22 PM
19

Thanks! I remember pointing this out on an old fb thread and both men and women were shocked. I’m unsure why people don’t consider that well if eggs are old and lead to increase risks, wouldn’t that mean sperm produced by older men could have the same risk too? It’s common sense, but as they say common sense isn’t that common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 07:45 PM
7

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 07:43 PM
73

I know that years ago I’d read something that said older men produce sperm with more mutations and increased the risk of the child having schizophrenia. I wish I could remember where I’d read that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:53 PM
1

She’s a scammer. She was charged of payroll fraud for theft of funds from her university.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 03:51 AM
-5

I don’t mind “hi” only because sometimes on bumble I can’t think of anything clever to say to start the convo based on the profile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 01:47 AM
7

I’ve seen women discuss having done it in their pasts when they were broke broke (and I used broke twice for emphasis, in case it’ wasn’t clear). That being said, I don’t think it’s as prevalent as men make it out to be. Edit: typos
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 04:41 PM
8

The thirst!! Also, did you see the follow up SS she posted? Dude kinda told her about herself (somewhat in a way I’ve seen FDS posters here tell off men).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 01:34 PM
13

LMAO @ Gabby. She has the quote the reputation that follows her around on twitter, to say the least. Frankly, HE (potential LVM he may be) may have dodged a bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 01:12 PM
13

I don’t think anything about it. Often, super likes are accidental (and I actually have that as a disclaimer).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 01:26 AM
45

Boy children are not immune to this, so please don’t think having/adopting a boy is some sort of panacea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 08:59 PM
70

I feel the same! Like, I get the point of this meme (which is not original), but if you followed Harry before all of this the. You’d know that he doesn’t much care for being a royal, is happy he wasn’t first born, said he preferred Lesotho to Britain, etc etc etc. he was always the one that would throw up the deuces, but being with Meghan and seeing how she was treated was likely the final push HE needed. It sucks that everyone will/has blamed her, but I’m sure this was all Harry,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 05:00 PM
25

Just yesterday I was wondering if there were any FDA posts specific to black women and I wake up to this loveliness! There was nothing I didn’t already know, but I appreciated seeing it laid out in this way. It’s really difficult out here for us. I live in a major city and it means nothing. Honestly, i agree with those who have mentioned dating being better in Europe. I have a black female friend living there and she’s been having some really great dating experiences. While I am open to dating i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 12:54 PM
11

“I want to say, and I’m sorry if this isn’t the place for it, but it’s MEN and not other non black women who see black women as “the bottom of the barrel”. This is, unfortunately, NOT TRUE. A lot of non black women (white ans NBPOC) denigrate black women frequently. But that’s a topic for another day/another post/another sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 12:49 PM
12

While I realize that everyone here is smart enough to pick and choose from the list, I want to just point out that hair length should definitely not be the end all/be all for black women with natural hair. Many of us have hair the shrinks and/or grows up instead of down. It can be difficult to show length without constant straightening or blowing out. So, for those women (unless you like or prefer wigs and weaves), find a man who will love your hair as is (which, of course should be the goal for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:06 PM
9

This right here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 09:42 PM
8

Some of them can think it if women they are with keep faking it. I’m 100% against faking it and don’t understand why women play themselves by doing it. It’s only going to make him think he knows what he’s doing and he’ll be prone to repeat the same nonsense. It’s silly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 09:38 PM
4

You probably just need a good makeover (clothes and hair). Do you have any female friends whose style you like? Tag along with them and shop and see what she picks on. Watch YouTube videos about style, check out Pinterest, etc. It all comes down to whether you are willing and able to make these tweaks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 10:27 PM
62

Hey think this is a sign that you should put dating on the back burner and work on yourself. Bout self steen and valuing yourself, it will only make it possible for users to abuse you in a myriad of ways. That you mentioned using you for sex on your bumble profile is troubling, delete it quick. I definitely understand that being a black female can put you at a disadvantage when it comes to dating, but you have to push through. You may need some therapy to help you become the best you you can be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 05:29 PM
9

Aesthetics wise, I always make it a point to compliment women, particularly black women, and even more particularly black women with natural hair. Society craps on us, so I always make it a point to give compliments because I know when I get them, it brightens my day. I know there’s no ulterior motive behind it, it’s from the heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 08:12 PM
7

I never understood this. Why would you even want to be with someone who would feel insecure over your profession? How do you build a functional and healthy relationship with someone like that unless you plan to demote yourself in your profession? I’ve refused to do that on OLD. Listed are my profession and school(s). If they can’t deal, tough. In the same token, if they think I’ll be a meal ticket, think again because the only person other than me that I spend money on is my mother, ha ha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 02:07 PM
2

Yes it means her father wouldn’t have been able to make such a major financial move like taking a line of credit on a home without her knowledge and signing off on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 12:28 AM
2

This is gross and horrible, though - sadly- not worse than the sorry of the woman who still married her husband after he assaulted her friend right before the wedding. Terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 04:56 PM
3

Same demographic except on the east coast. I will often quit OLD for sometime and then see if things have changed in order to leverage all available means to me, but...yea. Not fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 04:46 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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