I guess I've just had different experiences. The feminists I have known have felt that protecting men from abuse fits into the umbrella of feminism. They would say something like "this is an example of how the patriarchy hurts men too" or some such statement. (They like talking about "the patriarchy")
"Toxic masculinity" doesn't mean they masculinity is toxic. It's about how certain expectations of what it means to be a good man can be toxic. There are definitely toxic feminine attributes too, but they're mostly embedded in ideas of subservience and passivity, so it's a little bit different.
Toxic masculinity hurts men too. It absolutely makes sense for men to care about societal expectations of masculinity. Feminism is an egalitarian philosophy.