bokan Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Some research or survey came out saying 45% of men aged 18-25 have never approached a women. Because we are all victims of algorithm driven groupthink. We are all being manipulated to have more extreme opinions than we would otherwise. It’s not just politics, it’s happening in all different communities. This kind of extreme thinking, where we are all either chads or failures at dating with nothing in between, doesn’t reflect reality. Real reality, not whatever “through a glass darkly” algorithmic distortion shows up online.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/08/24 05:34 AM
3	Some research or survey came out saying 45% of men aged 18-25 have never approached a women. The internet amplifies extreme voices and simplified messages. You’re not wrong- being attractive is the answer, and does make it easy. I’m talking about what reality is like if you’re in the middle of the attractiveness distribution. That’s when the subtlety matters. If you want to play the culture war game and push back on this, that’s our prerogative, for sure. I’m just saying that in the real world, right now, there is far more room for nuance. You can be moderately attractive and highly att…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/08/24 04:23 AM
0	Some research or survey came out saying 45% of men aged 18-25 have never approached a women. You need to stop looking at things categorically and read between the lines. Women have never collectively said, don’t approach us, don’t ask us out if we’re friends, don’t flirt at an event. What they are really saying is don’t be a creep. Don’t put us in unwanted situations. It’s hard, that’s the answer. There is no hard and fast answer. There are no rules to follow, there’s no guarantee. The only way to succeed is to be extremely good at reading social cues and understanding each situation. U…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/08/24 02:54 AM
3	Some research or survey came out saying 45% of men aged 18-25 have never approached a women. Yeah, that’s what the numbers show I think. Mostly OLD.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/08/24 12:43 AM
2	Some research or survey came out saying 45% of men aged 18-25 have never approached a women. I hope so! There’s a lot more room for context and nuance in the real world versus the online narratives that kids grow up with these days. All that stuff is subtle and complex to learn. Sure didn’t have it figured out in my early 20s.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/08/24 12:17 AM
13	Some research or survey came out saying 45% of men aged 18-25 have never approached a women. The confusing thing is that men are being conditioned not to approach, but the behavioral economics of dating still incentivizes/ requires men to approach (or, meet people some other way, of course). I agree with you though. I worry for younger men feeling stuck and hopeless and giving up rather than getting better at tactfully meeting people in socially acceptable ways.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/08/24 11:56 PM
3	Men need to normalize makeup and cosmetics to better compete like women do I’m really flabbergasted by the counter arguments being highly upvoted. If men got good at stealth makeup it would help men out lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/07/24 12:38 AM
3	Dating advice for men is implicitly condescending. I think ‘anyone’ is a bit of an illusion. There’s quite a lot of people in the world. Odds are there is someone for everyone, right now. That’s how I see it. I’m not against the self improvement mantra I just have also seen the harm it can do. Ultimately men and women both deserve to be accepted for who they are naturally are. Doing some work to enhance that is one thing. But not acting in accordance with your true self will ultimately catch up with you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/07/24 09:56 PM
11	Dating advice for men is implicitly condescending. Put differently, it means, nobody will ever love you for who you are. Here are a list of performative acts you must perform in order to attract someone. Eventually, if all goes well, you’ll feel the soul sucking half-life of playing a part all the time, but at least you won’t be alone. I’m tired of the self improvement narrative. Self improvement is great, we should all do it. But I also think most people deserve unconditional love. At least from themselves.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/07/24 09:45 PM
16	Do you think the world would be better for women with no men in it? This is weirdly refreshing to hear	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/24 12:29 AM
1	Attractiveness matters to men so there’s no reason for them to be upset when attractiveness matters to women. This is, or was, a fundamental problem. I was taught that as long as I was a good person, I would end up somehow automatically matched with an awesome woman, and that if that didn’t happen, that meant I was a bad person. Not necessarily as a status symbol, but as confirmation of a life well lived. This was super damaging and it took a long time to de program myself. But it’s hard to truly get rid of root level socialization like this.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/07/24 02:25 AM
-1	Male sexlessness should be taken about as seriously as the orgasm gap. Can you expand on this perspective? I’ll say from personal experience, I was made aware of the orgasm gap from an early age. I can’t remember how I learned about it, but it certainly felt like it was a part of the sexual education that osmosised into my brain.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/24 05:53 AM
4	Men and women don't really need each other anymore I’ll broaden this a bit, and say that people don’t really need each other anymore. We interact with corporations or the government, mediated through technology, for almost everything. The social factors that tied us together are gone. We are each self sufficient in the sense that we do not need to have friends or a spouse, or any kind of community, to live.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/06/24 07:50 AM
1	Femininity is largely considered inferior to Masculinity and there are no good reasons for women to embrace femininity Some women enjoy taking on a classic feminine identity. Some straight men enjoy partners who are like that. There are advantages to people liking you. There are advantages to acting in accordance with what feels like your nature. There doesn’t need to be a utilitarian ‘good reason’ to take on a certain identity or preference. This sub likes to explain the overall dynamic in generalities, but in truth, every human is different, and there are as many preferences as there are people.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/24 06:00 AM
3	Why is cold approaching seen as a "better" alternative to dating apps? But that’s the point. You do have to fundamentally change your life.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/24 12:05 AM
2	Guys who kiss/get laid on first dates, how do you physicaly escalate? I think the shoulder is the correct spot to touch first. Touching the shoulder is something that we do even to strangers.	/r/seduction	08/06/24 11:44 PM
1	Are women "witholding affection from men"? Do you feel that affection is owed to a partner in a relationship?	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/06/24 01:56 PM
1	Attraction to older women (30+) is more unusual than attraction to legal teens Are you making a biological argument or a cultural argument? The logical conclusions will likely be different depending.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/24 10:07 PM
1	Q4Men: Do you expect women to cook for you during the “talking stage”? I don’t expect it ever.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/24 04:21 PM
4	It is always a mans fault if he can't attract women in a majority of peoples minds? Yes. It’s a cognitive bias. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/24 02:56 PM
–	What are places you can go and not look like a creep as a man to expand your female friend circle especially locally? It depends, sometimes there’s alcohol, sometimes it’s venues oriented around music. It’s not like salsa where a person might go to a regular club expecting to do the dance. It’s more niche than that, often times these were held in dance classrooms or other more random places where there is a large hardwood floor. It’s also more like there are a few hundred people who do these dances in a given city at a given time as a primary hobby. It’s a relatively small sample size, so perhaps more prone to …	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/24 01:44 PM
1	What are places you can go and not look like a creep as a man to expand your female friend circle especially locally? Yeah, actual social dances, lindy hop/blues. Women typically dance every song until they are tired and there’s usually a border of men rotating in and out around the outside of the floor.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/06/24 07:54 PM
6	What are places you can go and not look like a creep as a man to expand your female friend circle especially locally? Personally, I’ve done social dancing for over a decade and multiple cities and I’ve never been to a lesson or dance that didn’t have way more men than women. These communities also tend to be super on edge about men being there with the goal of meeting someone. Never had much luck there personally. But, had a lot of fun dancing!	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/06/24 05:12 AM
3	Porn is not the problem Also, there’s like a billion chemicals in everything that mess with testosterone levels. Not to mention the microplastics problem: https://academic.oup.com/toxsci/advance-article-abstract/doi/10.1093/toxsci/kfae060/7673133?redirectedFrom=fulltext&login=false This is one of those things that I think will be seen in the future like smoking, lead hats or asbestos construction. Or maybe not, maybe things will get slightly worse and worse forever.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/06/24 01:44 AM
9	Men are never allowed to be "Good enough" I’ve started seeing this as a society-level shit test. Men have to be able to see through all of this language demanding unending self-improvement and progress, and accept that wherever they are now is okay. Self-improvement is great, but the desire to do so should come from within a person, not be something constantly demanded of you by others.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/05/24 02:41 PM
1	Women will flirt right in front of their partner, if the guy they are flirting with is HVM The problem with acting like you never cared is that unless you TRULY don’t care, resentment, anger, etc. may build up as this behavior repeats over and over. I think the trick is to create thought and action patterns that truly allow you not to care about what the other person does.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/24 06:40 PM
12	Women will flirt right in front of their partner, if the guy they are flirting with is HVM Honestly, this story triggered a lot of memories that I’d prefer to keep forgotten. This kind of thing absolutely happens all the time.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/24 06:37 PM
2	Dating (not "modern dating", dating in general) has been a failure, and is leading to the downfall of society What’s so bad about declining birth rates and a loneliness epidemic? Maybe that’s just the arc of human civilization. Take a look at Japan, it’s always ahead of the curve in things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/24 05:37 PM
–	Why is there this obsession in the manosphere with wanting to ‘replace women’? I’d watch this sitcom lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/24 10:04 PM
1	Is some form of emotional abuse from a woman in a relationship considered a bullshit test that men must endure and pass or is it an unacceptable normalisation of abuse? I’m having a hard time answering this. My mind says no. My experiences say yes.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/24 12:15 AM
1	You struggle with dating because you live in a large city Not really lol. It’s not enough to stand out.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/24 05:48 PM
–	Most relationships end because men take advantage of their partner and stop putting in effort. It’s true. When I was younger I thought that there was a ‘safe’ point where both partners decided they liked each other and would love and support each other. But, it doesn’t quite work like that, always need to be building new layers of attraction to outpace any irritation or boredom the other partner is feeling.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/04/24 06:36 PM
–	"Everybody dies alone" No shit, but a lot of men are spending their prime years alone I’ve lived long enough to know that things don’t really change. Nobody is in control of this.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/04/24 04:56 PM
1	Which of these men is more appealing to a woman? I am, yeah, and I have a fairly cautious personality, not a whole lot of presence and charisma, social anxiety, etc. I’ve gotten over it as I’ve gotten older, but I still wonder what it would be like to have a naturally boisterous, magnetic personality, to take more risks, hold a crowd, draw people into my circle, that sort of thing. I have a friend like that who just had his second child. What I wonder about is to what extent is it possible to develop a personality like that, and to what extent…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/04/24 07:52 AM
3	Which of these men is more appealing to a woman? Thanks for the thoughtful reply!	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/04/24 07:19 PM
2	Which of these men is more appealing to a woman? Thanks! I see in online dating profiles a lot that the person is looking for someone to make them laugh. It’s always fun to be around someone funny, but wondering if there is something else behind that preference. I think the question behind the question is how far EQ and empathy without extroverted tendencies can get a guy, or if those tend to go hand in hand.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/04/24 04:15 AM
2	Which of these men is more appealing to a woman? Do you associate being funny with having a high EQ/empathy?	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/04/24 03:49 AM
–	Debate: the problem with the dating market is women’s standards are too high This is a consequence of a world where we don’t really need to get married or procreate, or even be in a relationship. There is very little utility, to men or women, to doing these things. It’s something we do if and when we want to. So, everyone can be very selective. It’s just how it is.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/04/24 11:15 PM
1	Instagram is the new DATING APP How is instagram a dating app when you generally get views from other cities or countries? Do people look for local posts?	/r/seduction	06/04/24 04:21 AM
4	Men are seen as more creepy doing the same actions as women. Let's debate I’m not going to debate any of this, but I will ask, what exactly is the problem with being ‘seen like a creep?’ I’ve found that in my own life, I’ve never really been TREATED like a creep in these situations. It’s just been my own sense of anxiety projecting how others were viewing me. If I was ever seen as a creep, it didn’t really affect me at all. Maybe people avoided me a bit in public, but that’s fine.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/03/24 02:25 AM
3	Should men fix themselves before seeking a relationship? What a relief to finally hear someone tell it like it really is	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/03/24 08:44 AM
3	Is it true that most people cannot lower their standards biologically? Do you think that your friend was attracted to the second woman he married?	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/24 06:57 AM
63	Do men not care about having female friends? For most of us it’s rare for women to show interest of any kind. So naturally the thought process will occur about what each acquaintance may turn into. Also, in spaces I have existed in during my life (even social dancing), there have been more men than women, and most of the women have been in relationships. So, again it’s a numbers thing. A woman who is (a) single and (b) interested in any way is rare, especially as you get older. I don’t think, or at least I hope, it’s not that men don’t car…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/24 05:28 AM
18	Men of the western society, I'd like to know if you're really not able to find even one decent woman out there? You answered your own question. It’s statistics. In college or just after, the pool is large, anything can happen. The older you get, the more the pool narrows, the more expectations become high, the more opportunities for spontaneous meetups trends to zero. It’s luck, for the most part. You can tilt the odds a bit, but it’s basically down to luck.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/24 03:18 AM
2	Is it just me, or is the idea that men want women to perform “femininity” largely overblown? Speaking personally, do I want a partner who is feminine, or do I want a partner who has overlapping interests and who I can connect with? Both at once, honestly. This is a paradox of dating, we seek people who we are similar to, but notice there is no asymmetry to create a dynamic. Or we weak people with a crackling dynamic, and learn that we are too different from each other? The answer lies somewhere in the middle, I imagine.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 05:45 PM
5	Every modern dating problem can be summarized into “Too little respect, Too much hubris” Honestly I think OLD has made going on first dates into too much of a filter. Being able to chat for 30 minutes and then leave if the vibe isn’t felt seems totally fine to me. Attraction is really a dice roll, it’s nothing personal if the chemistry isn’t there, and no point dragging it out.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/03/24 06:02 AM
6	Should We All Just Quit Dating Period Both are true: 1) Dating is horrible and broken 2) Most people muddle through it anyway	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/24 06:04 AM
12	Apparently women in your "friends circle" really dislike you hitting on them The guy in the video is doing it super weirdly. If a man starts to feel something for a female friend, as soon as the feelings start to show, he should say “I’m glad to have you as a friend. Would you be interested in being more than a friend?” Just that. It’s just a yes/no. No vagueness. Do it early and be clear about it. I get the sense that what women dislike is the vague awkwardness of the orbiting guys as they build up expectations and one sided emotional investment.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/24 05:42 PM
–	Why do people not want to accept the reasons modern dating isn’t working? Right, children are being born at a lower than replacement rate. So, does that stabilize at some point? And if so, how and why?	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/02/24 10:49 PM
–	Why do people not want to accept the reasons modern dating isn’t working? I’m not sure how to articulate this in a way that won’t sound callous, but do you think the human population can actually survive in an environment where having kids is entirely a free choice of each individual? Like. Would we even still be here today if historically there had also been the ability to objectively consider whatever having kids was the right choice? For context, I am a man who does not feel a strong desire to have kids. So, I am wrestling with this a bit myself, if I should feel g…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/02/24 09:50 PM
2	At a 50/50 male to female ratio, why are there so many men left out? It is interesting that there are only a few matriarchies	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/24 06:37 PM
3	At a 50/50 male to female ratio, why are there so many men left out? There are a few examples of stable matriarchies	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/24 05:47 PM
1	So... how are men supposed to understand women, anyways? You’re not going to get an honest answer to this online. We are all suffering from one delusion or another on this topic.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/02/24 04:27 PM
3	Are women not getting approached anymore? Being introverted is super tough for anyone. We are collectively bad at meeting each other right now and being introverted is an additional factor on top of that. Please don’t start thinking it means there’s something wrong with you. It’s easy for those thoughts to creep in. It doesn’t mean working on yourself isn’t good, or that changing things up isn’t worthwhile. But, dating is just working extremely poorly right now in general.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 06:36 PM
2	Men of PPD: Do you really find casual sex appealing? I wouldn’t describe that kind of experience as satisfying, but I wouldn’t call it unsatisfying either. It’s like watching a nice sunset. The sunset is beautiful for a moment, but when it’s gone you’re back in the dark.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/01/24 07:17 AM
2	(Re-upload) What do y'all think of this excerpt about radicalisation in the manosphere? Lmao you’ve gotta be trolling with this reply	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/24 09:42 AM
6	Is approaching women something men are stopping to do? Is it also frowned upon? Also is male sexuality demonized? I think the answer is re creating the kind of organic opportunities to meet someone that many of us had in college. Taking classes, going to house parties, growing your friend circle, engaging in group hobbies. I think this is the answer for everyone. It worked for our ancestors. Just find a community and exist in it. No online dating- that’s become a meat grinder designed to extract money from straight men. No bars, no approaching- these are no longer socially acceptable, and past that the idea…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/01/24 04:14 AM
–	Seriously, how is the average joe supposed to be happy if he is never desired? Letting go of the need to feel that way is not the same as giving up on it ever happening. It just means your life will not be ruled by a desire.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/01/24 05:59 PM
1	Seriously, how is the average joe supposed to be happy if he is never desired? There’s a lot you can do with your mind given enough time and persistence. It’s very possible to let go of the need to be desired. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/01/24 04:30 AM
0	Why do all feminist subs block most discussions that aren't positive of them? That’s how reddit is. I was banned from the feminism subreddit during a time when I was actively reading about feminism and actively identifying as a feminist, for asking the wrong question (IIRC, it was long ago). Subs like that are not spaces for a broad discussion. They are meant for people who all basically agree with each other and have the same base of knowledge. This sub is an exception. There is still a narrative here (which is, dating is messed up for both men and women). I’d probably b…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/01/24 04:08 AM
1	Debate : People dont understand that Money and status makes you GENUINELY more sexually attractive as a Man. What do you mean?	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/01/24 09:22 PM
2	Debate : People dont understand that Money and status makes you GENUINELY more sexually attractive as a Man. Lots of wealth is unearned.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/01/24 06:24 PM
1	Want to solve the male loneliness epidemic? Stop letting kids play video games and promote outdoor activities instead Video games can be a great social male bonding activity, or they can be solitary. I think a better way to put it is that society does not prioritize doing things together anymore.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/12/23 08:48 AM
3	Q4W: For those who have experienced this - why do males approach less nowadays? I think bookstores are my scene tbh. Reserved people meeting reserved people 😄	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/23 11:52 PM
3	Q4W: For those who have experienced this - why do males approach less nowadays? Where would you say is not a weird place to want to meet a potential partner?	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/23 10:33 PM
1	Prostitution should be legalized. I’m curious to hear more of your view on what contributes to/ damages social cohesion. Cohesion certainly seems low at the moment.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/11/23 05:57 AM
–	The thing women don't understand is that there are millions of eligible women out there and a lot of guys can't get ONE (1) girlfriend. Rather than aiming this thought at women, it may be more useful to aim it at the ways we currently connect with eachother to find dates. Those connection vectors (OLD, cold approach, friends of friends, hobbies, etc.) are a failure point. They are not effective for the most part. For each guy who cannot get a date, there are probably thousands of women who would actually want to date him and who he would be attracted to. But, they will never connect.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/11/23 09:18 PM
1	Dating for men is a race to the bottom This comment is contradictory. Men are not entitled to to women by default, yes. Lots of women do not feel the need to be in a relationship now, for sure. But also, there is no amount or ‘working on yourself’ that creates any kind of entitlement or meaningfully changes ma that. We need to stop denigrating men who make observations about how asymmetrical dating is. There is no ‘bar to clear.’ It’s always challenging, unless you’re a lottery winner generically. ‘Working on yourself’ is always wort…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/10/23 11:34 AM
52	What little things can men do to have more sex appeal? Yeah I had to laugh at this one. You mean maintain a constant state of meditation and focus to stop all the anxious tics from coming out? I’ll try! lol	/r/seduction	07/10/23 12:23 AM
2	Why Men Are Resentful of The Way Women's Sexuality (Often) Works I agree. Reading this sub is kind of alienating sometimes because my personal experience has often been the opposite to the norm. But, I still think the ‘broad strokes’ approach is useful to understanding overall gender dynamics.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/08/23 09:55 PM
2	Why Men Are Resentful of The Way Women's Sexuality (Often) Works Just to provide a counterpoint to this, I (a straight cis man) have been on many dates, most dates in fact, where I felt no spark. I think your assessment is pretty spot on, but just providing the usual caution, there are exceptions to every rule, every human is different.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/08/23 08:49 PM
1	is it wrong to want a feminine woman ? This thread is full of judgment.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/07/23 08:43 AM
5	CMV People that claim that eating out a Women is wrong or emasculating or submissive are the biggest dorks on the planet. You see the irony here right? This thread is about men thinking giving oral is emasculating. You’re saying that NOT giving oral is emasculating. Can we stop writing a list of things that are emasculating? Do oral. Don’t do oral. It’s up to the individual and their partner’s preferences. Period.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/23 05:47 PM
3	Most of the female attention you get happens when you are talking to people. I used to go club dancing every weekend and nobody ever approached me ever lol	/r/seduction	03/04/23 07:28 AM
2	Most of the female attention you get happens when you are talking to people. you need to have stories to tell though	/r/seduction	03/04/23 07:27 AM
2	Women here advise guys to "touch grass" and "talk to actual women" yet stigmatize and threat profile men for approaching them Is there every a way to complete that advice? 1) Join a hobby community 2) Extremely carefully feel out the people there, see if there’s chemistry or friend chemistry with anyone 3) Build rapport 4) Ask that person out 5) If it looks like it won’t work, reroute to friendship ASAP to avoid destroying your ability to exist in the hobby community	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/03/23 09:31 AM
3	Displaying stereotypical gendered behavior is crucial to get laid as a man I mean, yeah. Is this controversial? Men have to walk a line of adhering to masculine stereotypes in every way possible, but showing enough restraint and moderation to know how to inject just enough of those behaviors into any given interaction while otherwise adhering to modern cultural norms. It ain’t easy, but nobody’s role is.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/02/23 05:28 AM
2	Is it true most men are giving up on dating? I’ve wondered about that a bit, if I may be demisexual or something. I’ve always found it hard to feel chemistry with people who are essentially strangers, even if they are very attractive. But I’m also a pretty unusual guy and don’t vibe with a lot of women. It’s always hard to tell what is a personal thing and what is endemic to what’s happening in society.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/22 09:48 PM
3	Is it true most men are giving up on dating? I believe it, because I’m starting to become apathetic and let conversations trail off on my end, and I know I have confused more than a few people online because of this. So, I’ve mostly decided to stop trying, I don’t want to lead people on and then lose interest myself or not want to put in effort.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/22 09:17 PM
7	Is it true most men are giving up on dating? I agree to an extent, but sometimes I’ve found chemistry needs a little bit of time to develop. Sometimes you’ve got to take a little bit on faith and push through to get to know eachother, and then you find out if there’s chemistry. Or maybe real chemistry is something you’d feel right away, and it’s just rare? I’ve only met one person in my entire life with that kind of immediate chemistry. Maybe I should have married her.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/22 09:15 PM
84	Is it true most men are giving up on dating? I don’t care much anymore. I go on dates and the woman is apathetic. Even if the date goes well and we have a pleasant time, even if we seem to click. I just don’t get the sensation that most women I come across are interested (in me? in dating? who knows). So, the less they care, the less I care. Nothing goes anywhere. Everyone flakes. Nobody is willing to invest in anyone else. Doesn’t feel like there is much point. The worst part of it is that I have become apathetic. Once that happened the g…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/12/22 06:03 AM
1	CMV: It’s a sign of extreme inequality that women facilitating sex work is seen as more and more publicly acceptable, but men using the services of a sex worker is just as taboo for men as its always been This thread is interesting, everyone has radically different takes. Whether or not you find OP’s premise accurate must depend on some contextual factors. For my part, in my social circles, a woman saying she is involved in sex work would not get any reaction really. I’ve never in my life heard a man discuss going to a prostitute IRL. Certainly feels like there’s a lot of shame there.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/10/22 01:55 PM
2	You don’t have to kiss on the first date, have sex, or anything. Don’t force it Connecting is not the same as having chemistry. I have no trouble connecting with people. I guess I’m just not attracted to most women.	/r/seduction	26/10/22 04:29 AM
1	You don’t have to kiss on the first date, have sex, or anything. Don’t force it How can I build chemistry in another person if I don’t feel it myself	/r/seduction	24/10/22 06:38 PM
5	You don’t have to kiss on the first date, have sex, or anything. Don’t force it I’m only strongly attracted to people who are also clearly into me. So often times, yes, I would like to, but I don’t want to badly enough to push through some apathy from the woman.	/r/seduction	24/10/22 05:04 PM
5	You don’t have to kiss on the first date, have sex, or anything. Don’t force it Have you ever not had chemistry until the second or third date? If so, how do you make the second date happen? That’s the problem I always run into. I’ve been on a lot of really nice dates that I don’t feel compelled to follow up on. It’s confusing, I can’t tell if it’s not a good fit or just these things take longer than an hour to show up.	/r/seduction	24/10/22 03:12 PM
2	You don’t have to kiss on the first date, have sex, or anything. Don’t force it Honest question, do you guys… immediately have chemistry with everyone? 99% of dates I’ve been on, even if we’re really clicking, flirting, light physical escalation, etc., there hasn’t been chemistry enough to kiss on the first date.	/r/seduction	24/10/22 02:23 PM
17	Why shouldn't a man feel insecure? People in this thread will tell you that you’re wrong in 20 different ways that are all more or less variations on ‘man up.’ The reality is there’s a huge asymmetry in how dating works right now. It’s up to you to choose how to deal with that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/10/22 08:32 AM
1	ONLINE DATING TRENDS: Men outnumber women on Tinder by 9-to-1 in Europe and more than 7-to-3 in the US, with Grindr (primarily for gay and LGBT men) now having one of the highest rates of active user engagement Good point! hmmmm. Thanks for the idea lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/09/22 07:12 AM
2	ONLINE DATING TRENDS: Men outnumber women on Tinder by 9-to-1 in Europe and more than 7-to-3 in the US, with Grindr (primarily for gay and LGBT men) now having one of the highest rates of active user engagement Hah! I do think there’s something to be said for diving into a completely alien community like that, if it blows up, not so big a deal. But what if it turns out I really like knitting?	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/09/22 07:10 AM
4	ONLINE DATING TRENDS: Men outnumber women on Tinder by 9-to-1 in Europe and more than 7-to-3 in the US, with Grindr (primarily for gay and LGBT men) now having one of the highest rates of active user engagement That’s one of those funny things about small samples/ communities, it rarely ends up balanced. I’ve lived in two big US cities and both were maybe 60% men. Most classes I’ve taken have had more men. My criticism is more that I’ve seen those social groups absolutely explode from relationships that fail. It’s risky. If you’re just taking a class or two, that’s fine, but if it’s an important hobby to you, it can be pretty unsafe.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/09/22 06:32 AM
3	ONLINE DATING TRENDS: Men outnumber women on Tinder by 9-to-1 in Europe and more than 7-to-3 in the US, with Grindr (primarily for gay and LGBT men) now having one of the highest rates of active user engagement This is a very niche topic, but swing dancing classes and dances also tend to have way too many men, depending on the scene. It’s also dangerous to date within the community, because if it goes south it can ruin the hobby and get a person ostracized if it wasn’t completely amicable of a split. Every way of meeting people has its problems.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/09/22 06:19 AM
11	I started cold approaching women. Had no idea this is so easy! It’s easy… if you are still in college and already have this figured out. After that hardmode starts.	/r/seduction	25/08/22 03:59 PM
2	Chasing women is idiotic and unnecessary. Women expect it now. If a guy doesn’t chase, nothing will happen. If all guys collectively agreed not to chase, women might be more inclined not to expect it and to take initiative. (caveats about generalizations etc.)	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/08/22 02:55 AM
1	Why so many rules when it comes to approaching girls? Like “oh don’t approach them at the gym” “don’t approach them in the streets” why so many rules? At some point you’ve got to decide which rules you’re comfortable breaking, because there is no completely socially acceptable way to meet people anymore.	/r/seduction	25/07/22 02:13 AM
1	Is the PUA community basically dead? I don’t understand using instragram in this way. Do you link your instagram from dating app profile? People say they meet people on instagram and I don’t know what that means.	/r/seduction	14/07/22 04:07 AM
1	Here you're sitting thinking about Push Pull Theory, Escalation Ladders, Inner Game and Eckhart Tolle. Meanwhile girls will literally fuck guys because they are bored, want weed, are lonely, have nothing better to do. “college girls” is the important thing here. You’re talking about dating people who are essentially children. Things change after that.	/r/seduction	20/06/22 01:42 AM
17	Are we as men working too hard to get women? You’re right, the ‘chase’ stuff is much harder that being deceptive. For many guys it means changing your entire personality down to the core and molding yourself over many years into the kind of thing women are looking for. That way there isn’t deception involved. Being honest or being yourself just doesn’t work for most men. I’m not talking about men who need to work on themselves. I’m talking about introverts, unassertive guys, guys who are a bit passive and thoughtful. We have to grind those…	/r/seduction	15/06/22 05:28 PM
2	Why is a woman's attraction to a man so unstable? It’s a fair question, there’s lots more to spend your time on in life aside from playing this game. The older I get the more I feel it’s not worth it. Anyone who requires me to act outside of my nature just to support a relationship isn’t worth it for me.	/r/seduction	07/06/22 11:33 PM
2	Why is a woman's attraction to a man so unstable? Not always manipulative but you’ll sure get accused of being manipulative if it happens like that	/r/seduction	07/06/22 06:01 PM
6	Why is a woman's attraction to a man so unstable? I hear that brother	/r/seduction	07/06/22 05:54 PM
4	Why is a woman's attraction to a man so unstable? The problem may be that you are being the same guy. Women tend to need to be on an emotional roller coaster to stay invested. It’s not enough to present yourself honestly as you are, you’ve got to create drama and uncertainty to hook her.	/r/seduction	07/06/22 04:32 PM
1	Introversion as a character trait seems to make relationships difficult to find for men. This sub has to deal in generalizations to even have the discussions tbh	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/22 04:16 PM
2	Women approaching makes a lot more sense in contemporary society bit of a generalization there tbh	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/22 03:24 PM
2	Women approaching makes a lot more sense in contemporary society For sure	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/22 03:10 PM
2	Women approaching makes a lot more sense in contemporary society It may be worth distinguishing between this sexually aggressive idea and what “approaching” actually is. “Approaching” can be as benign as striking up a conversation. For a man, just striking up a conversation can easily come off as creepy unless he reads the situation perfectly. For a woman, it’s unlikely to trigger any of the stigma or social pressure against sexually aggressive women, just to say hi to someone, right? This thread is just about initiating contact, not pushing for sex or being …	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/22 03:09 PM
7	Women approaching makes a lot more sense in contemporary society The difference here is that ‘attractive’ in this context means top 5-10%, not just a guy who takes care of himself and is social.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/22 03:01 PM
4	Women approaching makes a lot more sense in contemporary society I assumed they were talking about the risk of sexual assault, violence etc. With that perspective it makes some sense why women don’t approach in most cases.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/05/22 02:59 PM
1	Most men present themselves poorly in public. Thats a lot of words for ‘natural charisma’	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/22 01:45 AM
7	Question for men and woman: why dont you use Instagram as a dating app? This is the correct answer. Dating apps are a mutually consensual space for dating conversations. Instagram is not.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/03/22 01:16 AM
1	If women don’t want to be approached at the gym, the grocery, the bar or in the dms - where are guys supposed to meet women? The part I don’t get is that there is no consistent scenario in which a woman deliberately signals that she does want to be approached. Even at bars, women don’t go alone, don’t just hang out and signal interest in meeting new people. Online dating is the only place, and it has horrible issues.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/22 04:49 AM
1	If women don’t want to be approached at the gym, the grocery, the bar or in the dms - where are guys supposed to meet women? Where, exactly? At the bar with friends? At the store trying to buy stuff, at the gym trying to work out? Initial approach is almost always cold, that’s just the reality of it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/22 04:46 AM
1	Is Love even fckin real? This is an unanswerable question. Each person may not ever find the real deal, and there’s no way to know if what you have found is the real deal.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/22 04:39 AM
2	Keep getting better as a man and you will get more pussy with age Well, I acquired some other great hobbies. Life gives you lemons and all that. Would be nice to get back to dancing though, I miss it	/r/seduction	28/02/22 08:44 PM
3	Keep getting better as a man and you will get more pussy with age PNW. The events have been cancelled a lot lately due to omicron. I’ve only gone one time in the past few years and met someone immediately. Maybe it’s time to go back lol.	/r/seduction	28/02/22 07:10 PM
1	Keep getting better as a man and you will get more pussy with age How have you been partner dancing during covid?	/r/seduction	28/02/22 06:18 PM
2	[deleted by user] There’s lots of options to get around this issue. It strikes me that if he was really interested in you he might have turned to one of those alternatives. It’s also very possible he is embarrassed.	/r/seduction	30/08/21 07:03 PM
3	In a room with a hottie coworker, late at night. studying for a final. Headphones in, we're friends. What can I do to escalate naturally? ITT: Saucy idioms :D	/r/seduction	11/12/15 03:41 PM
16	Guys who were never good at "talking" their whole life, how did you change/improve? I started saying literally whatever popped into my head. In my experience (also I have a couple psychology degrees) 'having anything to say' really means you've got ten thousand things bouncing around that you could say, but they are all below threshold because you've placed some kind of filter on yourself. Over time I reintroduced some filters- not interrupting people, recognizing bigoted thoughts and not saying those, etc. But my fundamental insight was that when most people talk, they are jus…	/r/seduction	07/07/15 06:24 AM
1	How To Pick Up Girls Without Being a Douche? (srs) I know what you mean and feel the same way, but you have to get over that in order to have success meeting people. Meeting people is inherently impositional (nice word btw).	/r/seduction	14/09/14 08:20 PM
1	It's become obvious i'm an introvert. Looking for any tips or information you guys may use to 'recharge' practice never stopping. never stop moving or talking, never revert to introversion if you need yo be extroverted that day	/r/seduction	05/12/13 07:43 PM
1	Co-worker taught me a lesson, time for a new approach Good post man! I was honestly surprised to find out that being so direct was even a realistic possibility. Lots of folks are raised thinking it's bad manners/ too forward or some nonsense	/r/seduction	22/11/13 12:04 AM
2	[FR] CRASH YOUR PLANE INTO A FUCKING MOUNTAIN: How I hit rock bottom and came up swinging. Good reduction of AA and # close A lot of people benefit from reading stories like this. I'm assuming isn't on here to publicly rationalize his actions, but to share the details of a real experience for folks to gain from	/r/seduction	10/11/13 12:46 AM
1	I NEED TO HELP ON CLOSING! what the hell is actually supposed to happen immediately after this? Indefinite makeout sesh?	/r/seduction	21/10/13 01:35 AM
1	I built a fulfilling life, have an exciting career I love, am successful with women and making friends when I try, and yet I prefer to just "take it easy" every weekend, and it bothers me, even as an introvert. Advice? force yourself to go out and to enjoy it- eventually you will expect and enjoy doing it. Have the alone time to recharge on saturday and sunday morning.	/r/seduction	21/10/13 01:33 AM
1	[inner game help] Picking yourself up after a failure? I have heard a lot of pick up advice on this forum, but nothing on how to pick up yourself. I am sorry for this comment. My real response is that over time you realize this situations are funny anecdotes in retrospect, and don't ultimately matter.	/r/seduction	21/10/13 01:31 AM
1	10 sets in 10 days: didn't think I had seen any 'sets' posts by girls, so I thought I would start i loled	/r/seduction	18/10/13 06:00 PM
1	I interviewed a group of 10 girls about their dating/sexual history and preferences... Here's some of what I learned. I wish I had more upvotes	/r/seduction	16/08/13 01:54 PM