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bootyandthebeet Archive

View 0 posts and 95 comments by bootyandthebeet on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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11

After being dumped by LVM-ex and finally going on a different antidepressant that I hadn’t tried before, my libido actually feels like it went up. I think my depression made my libido low, also not spending all my time around someone who made me feel terrible all the time does wonders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 10:02 PM
12

Early on in the relationship my ex was insulting me “as a joke” on the train and I was taking it and laughing along, trying my best to be a “cool girl”. An older man that was sitting in front of us turned and said to my ex “if I talked to my missus like that I would get a slap in the face” We were both shocked that he spoke to us and we just got off at our stop laughing it off like “that was so weirdddd” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:28 AM
19

Exactlyyyy. If he didn’t care about it, if it didn’t mean anything then he would just do it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:41 AM
13

My ex confused me so much because he would say things like he hates himself, that he’s a piece of shit for how he treated me, that he’s just terrible in general, even showed self-harming behaviors during arguments etc. and yet he would also sometimes say “I don’t hate myself and I don’t need to change anything about myself” in the same conversation. like what 🤯 so confusing, it was damn near crazy-making.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 08:28 AM
4

My ex - literally calling himself a piece of shit for treating me badly while also going out and dating a new girl. He thinks it’s the girls fault for “bringing out” his bad behavior. It’s not him being a disrespectful asshat, its the girl for making him do it 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:32 AM
6

Argh I have an unhealthy fantasy of my LVM-ex trying to get back together with me and me laughing in his face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:27 AM
11

Lollll my ex too! “It’s in the past, forget about it. God why are you stillll going on about this!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:37 AM
30

This is so true. My ex was always either dead eyed or awkward/uncomfortable. His insecurities often came out as being inconsiderate or with an “I’m better than everyone/I like to disagree with people just cause I can” attitude. Then the occasional time he was really sweet it still felt like there was something empty about it. Really need to trust our gut instincts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:33 AM
6

I hate it though. My friends were also like “that’s just what they do” but all I can think is that I don’t want to date someone like that though. I want someone who will actually be sad and or I guess at least be respectful when we breakup. I literally found her things next to my things in the apartment when I got the last of my stuff. What the actual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:05 AM
3

Yeah I guess that’s just the kind of closure you can never get when you break up with someone. It was also my first relationship so that’s great haha I have done a lot over the last few months without him and I don’t miss him, just the idea of him that I now realize never existed. I wouldn’t ever get back with him and I am taking time to improve myself and especially my own self-image. Just annoying when you think you’re doing well and then you get a random wave of grief again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:35 AM
3

I think it just stings because he jumps from long-term relationship to long-term relationship. Like it’s not even a rebound. She already had her things he apartment before I had even gotten all my things out. I also didn’t realize it at the time but when we first got together he had only been broken up with his last ex for a few weeks too. So I guess it’s just his pattern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 03:44 AM
10

With my ex he got bored of me anyway so when I tried to break up with him he didnt event put up a fight at all. I took it back the next day like an idiot. And then he easily got a new gf within two weeks of him breaking up with me a few months later. Just makes me feel like he didn’t care about me at all, it’s sucks I got so attached to someone who was incapable of basic respect or even just to love someone enough to be sad that they broke up. He told me he was sad and going on dating apps strai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:00 AM
4

All animals loved my LVM-ex sadly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 11:36 AM
4

I looked at my old photo album of my ex’s cat who I helped to raise, over 500 photos and videos in there. Now I’m sad 😔 She was so beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:50 AM
8

Gosh it blows my mind, marriage is too much of a commitment but having kids isn’t? 🤯 just goes to show how they think of children as commodities, not you know actual human beings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:42 AM
2

Same, except I knew he never wanted marriage. I kinda pretended me too, what I meant was I didn’t want to marry YET and honestly I didn’t want to marry HIM. Eventually because he loved spending time with my nieces he ended up wanting children. But no marriage and children? No way thanks. You basically want me to be a single mother in other words. If you can’t marry someone then how can you have kids with them? Doesn’t make sense to me. Pretty sure he would be one of those dads who would only spe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:37 AM
4

Learnt this the hard way :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:25 AM
2

Both hated himself, called himself a piece of shit, said I didn’t deserve him for how badly he treated me, showed self harming behavior, but then in the same conversation said he didn’t hate himself, liked himself for the most part and didn’t have anything to change or improve about himself. Then proceeded to find a new girlfriend within two weeks of our breakup because in his words “he was lonely and that was how he coped” 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:13 AM
17

Lollll sounds like my ex. I also thought insecure men would be kinder. Too bad he’s tall and has a decent job so he doesn’t have a problem finding new girls within weeks 🙄 hope he treats them better but doubt it. At least he apparently never wants to get married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:38 AM
19

Right. My Lvm-ex sad nasty things and then I’d cry and he would just repeat it a few months later. He’d say “you’re so sensitive, words don’t mean anything” whattt 🤯🤯 then after our breakup I kinda blasted him over text (regrettably) and I reminded him of the shit way he treated me and he was all like “it wasn’t my intention to treat you like shit” lollll what?!! 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:22 AM
77

Sounds like my ex - “ThAT WaSnT My InTeNtIOn”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 02:58 AM
27

Lol I have this problem except with my boss 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:14 AM
38

Reminds me of my dad telling my mum to do/pack everything even when he was supposed to do it, then at the airport or when out he would constantly be asking her where everything is, why isn’t this there, why didn’t you pack it omg it’s all your fault blah blah blah. Kill me if I marry someone like that. Granted they come from an old culture where the woman does everything and this is the norm, but still. It kills me when I hear him tell my mum to do everything. And my first and only relationship …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:57 AM
1

Yeah it’s weird. I don’t know what they think a relationship is supposed to be like? Sad thing is that some girls might not leave. This girl had been with him for 6 years, something must be going on. I didn’t leave my ex for 3.5years. I tried to once, but I took it back. He had often brought up breaking up during arguments to stop me from continuing the conversation/complaining. And then the next time he mentioned breaking up it actually stuck for the first time, probably because he realized tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:19 AM
25

Argh this disgusts me. He sounds EXACTLY like my ex. In all his comments too. I lived with my LVM-ex and he always refused to do something and then I “nagged” him if I asked again. Cue him not doing it for three days. Her voice got more whiny? Omg everything about this post is so disrespectful, I feel so much for this poor woman. Sometimes she asks and then she doesn’t push it. Those are the times she’s fed up with your bullshit and concedes. He’s slowly chipping away at her, he’s hoping there’l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 01:55 PM
23

Talking about ex too much sob stories about a “crazy” ex “I’m sorry you feel that way” “you’re too sensitive, it was a joke/i didn’t mean it that way”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 06:10 AM
16

This is so true and so gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 11:39 AM
3

My LVM-ex never wanted children but when he spent some time with my niece he all of a sudden loved kids and wanted to have children (I’m sure it’s because it was fun to be around kids as a man-child, not to you know, raise them). But he only wanted a girl because “all boys are shit” lollll way to call yourself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:20 AM
41

Lol the shame when your LVM-ex didnt even do that😅 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:07 AM
4

I relate to loving the little boy inside of him, though I guess that means I’m too much of a mother - which isn’t really a partnership. Once we were at his parents who were making breakfast for us, and he (a grown man) had a full on man-child tantrum at his parents and the. sulked off to his old room. It was kinda disturbing now that I think about it. But I went and helped him through it, found a solution for him to make it better. I was literally a mother to him in that moment - maybe I just cr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 08:12 AM
11

🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️ This whole thread speaks to me on every level 🤡😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 06:19 AM
3

Can I just say thank you for recommending If He’s so Great, Why Do I Feel so Bad? I’ve never felt like I related to a book so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:40 AM
2

As a Cancer, I always thought I’d match well with a Pisces. Who knows though, sadly never met one 😂 Actually, my brother is a Pisces but he apparently cheated on his partner so 🤷🏻‍♀️ My LVM-ex was a Gemini just like my neglectful and emotionally abusive father, go figure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:25 AM
6

Same, I actually randomly got this feeling of missing him and a wave of grief yesterday, despite knowing what a crap boyfriend he was. The breakup is still somewhat new. I was thinking about how lonely I felt but I decided to talk to myself about all the evidence as to how I’m actually not that lonely - e.g. I have friends and family. Then I made plans to go to dinner with a different friend two days this week and now I have plans to look forward to :) II didn’t beat myself up about the feeling …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:22 AM
3

I do remember casually watching KOTH as a kid when it came up on tv. Need to watch the whole series, didn’t realize it tackled things like masculinity etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:19 AM
15

I love this show! why did I stop watching it - gotta get on it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:59 AM
8

Right, it’s funny how they call themselves out. I’m shocked that my LVM-ex said similar things at the BEGINNING of our relationship - ofc pickmeisha me brushed it off at the time, but now I know better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:58 PM
6

As a girl nerd I probably also learnt too much from tv and movies than real life experience. TV taught me to give the nerdy guy a chance and that they always turned out to be more “real” - yeah real with problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 11:07 PM
3

My ex tried to logic his way out but I never took it. I knew that if he hurt me that it wasn’t right and I called him out on his bs “I’m sorry you feel that way” apologies. He even once said he tries to manipulate me but it doesn’t work... I just brushed off that comment like a clown 🤡 I think what he meant by that was that I would call him out on his crap behavior, but the problem was that I still stayed. I don’t even know why. It’s like a was stuck. I think it had more to do with me being a pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 11:04 PM
1

Honestly my ex probably showed a million more red flags than what I remember at the beginning but I was too busy trying to be the “cool and positive girl” at the time🤦🏻‍♀️ Also he would hate it when I cried too, he also said that his last exes cried too much as well. So basically he would make us cry and then take no responsibility for his actions ever. As soon as we started crying we became the problem. I don’t think it’s wrong to cry, especially when we’re hurt, but there’s everything wrong wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 10:57 PM
6

I’ve been through this too. I’m only three months on from the breakup and finding out he got a new Gf within weeks. We were together for almost four years and he already had the new girls things in the apartment before I had even gotten a chance to move out all my things yet. Goes to show how much he can’t stand to be alone. But honestly BLOCKING is the best thing you could do for yourself. I mean why would you want to be kept up to date with a LVM anyway? I’m still hurting but it’s slowly getti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 10:55 AM
25

I just have to say same! The only and first relationship I had just ended and I accepted him and his shitty treatment for years because I thought a nerdy tall and lanky guy HAS to be “safer” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 10:09 AM
40

I only recently had a breakup with my 3.5year relationship with my LVM-ex, so no experience with dating HVMs yet, but just want to say that your story reminded me of my ex. He would say we’re going to this cool new restaurant he found, than he’d turn around at the end of it and say “it’s your turn to pay” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ so much for a date right! We always went out to eat together but it got stale really fast because we always went halves, and I realized it was actually just a way for him to get out …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:22 AM
24

Argh my LVM-ex wouldn’t only point out someone was attractive, he would STARE at them, IN FRONT of me. God, I can’t get over how disgusting it was and you could tell the girl knew he was looking at them in front of his gf, they were probably just as grossed out and prob felt sorry for me as well 😩 he would say he’s not doing anything wrong and he isn’t staring when he clearly was. Disgusting. I told him that out of respect for him, even when he wasn’t present I would ignore/try my best not to lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:52 AM
29

Literally all of it. I did everything wrong. I mean he did everything wrong but I was trying too hard to be the “cool girl” even when he blatantly disrespected me. He wasn’t even attractive🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 09:50 AM
2

Thanks, that’s a good way to think of it actually. A bullet dodged of the awkward and terrible work environment that would have happened had I worked there and broken up. Because the breakup was inevitable and it’s good he’s not in my life any more :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:44 AM
3

It’s more that I would actually be working really closely with him, the office is small and a really tight knit small group of people. I’ve met them all multiple times already as his gf. And I also have a feeling it will entail communicating with him a lot about development of a product. It’s literally only about 7 people in one open plan office. The breakup is relatively recent as well and I’m still trying to get over it/him. I don’t think there’s anyway it would be a good idea, I’ll have to ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:32 AM
3

He broke up with me but I don’t necessarily think he would have stopped me from applying/trying. He knew I wanted a job like that. Though it’s true if we were still together we probably both would have agreed that working together would be a terrible idea, despite how much I want a role like that. I’m unsure, for all I know I would have been under qualified anyway, there would have been better candidates. I’m unsure if he would have been happy for me to work there/would have recommended me. He l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:41 PM
13

I felt really sad last week because I saw that my LVM-ex’s work advertised for pretty much my dream job/transition job that I’m trying to get. I feel that if we had still been together, or idk he could have waited a few months longer before dumping me finally, he would have recommended me or because I know his colleagues and boss I would have had a good chance at getting the job 😞 I know it’s just an initial reaction feeling but I can’t help but feel a sense of entitlement like, I put up with hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:41 AM
55

I’ll bare his children, he’ll do shit all - remember it’s all about equality /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:17 AM
10

God I wish I could laugh at him now! Haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 07:34 AM
16

Argh my ex kept spouting “it wasn’t my intention!” At the end of the relationship when I had a go at him over text about how badly he treated someone he was supposed to love. “I’m sorry it wasn’t my intention to treat you like shit” I was absolutely floored at how delusional/uncaring he is. His intentions mean absolutely nothing when he repeated behavior and words that I told him hurt me and ANYONE would agree are hurtful. I even told him how empty his intentions and words are at the end, he jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 07:11 AM
23

Argh so infuriating! Like I ruined YOUR day? How about HIM ruining MINE by being a disrespectful boyfriend. My LVM-ex literally ruined my day on an overseas holiday, on our anniversary, by calling me an insulting name in the morning completely unprovoked. And then HE was upset that I was upset and couldn’t just get over it. What an absolute asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:22 AM
24

Yes!! I told him constantly (like a child that needs to be told not to verbally insult someone) how hurt I felt and how I didn’t deserve what he did and said, yet he repeated the exact words and each time he was like “I’m sorry, I know you don’t deserve it, I will be better” And then when we finally broke up and I told him about how badly he treated me and all the names he called me and he was like “I’m sorry, it wasn’t my INTENTION to treat you badly” like whatttt - I told you a million times h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:15 AM
2

Thanks so much for this post! My therapist has been helping to make me realize that my ex did give me a lot of what I had been missing such as financial support, he was a “symbol” of external success and a “symbol” of someone that was supposed to love me and care for me. His actions didn’t really meet up with this symbol though but I was used to feeling ignored and even verbally abused by my parents growing up, and still loving them so I now realize that’s why I didn’t run for the hills straight…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:06 AM
3

I was in your shoes a few months ago. Sadly he left me but I should have broken up with him years ago. I tried to dump him once but since we lived together the change it would entail scared me off and I took it back. Don’t get to that point, I feel like I wasted so much time waiting for him to change and for him to take my words of how much he hurt me seriously. They deplete your self esteem so it becomes reliant on any tiny crumb of attention they give you. Don’t waste years on a LVM, they aren…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:28 AM
72

My LVM-ex said he didn’t like to fight and hated fighting but what he really meant was he didn’t want me to express any kind of negative view/emotion/thought/opinion about the way he was treating me or his actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:02 AM
22

Same!! Although to be honest I think I stopped my hobbies/goals because I needed to always be “available” to him. He gave me so little attention and so little actual quality time that I was desperate for ANY time with him. I didn’t realize at the time but I literally just needed to feel loved by him that I needed to make sure anything else came last. My whole self-esteem was riding on how much time he wanted to spend together. But even the time we did spend together barely satisfied me because h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:45 AM
2

I didn’t even go to their profiles, I was just in my list of Blocked people - surely Facebook should think that if they’re in a blocked list they should also block their profile pics too. Basically defeating the purpose of the blocked list. Now I know there’s another area where I can look to see if they’ve updated their profile pic without unblocking them 🤦🏻‍♀️ I am better without him, he was a terrible boyfriend. just a weak moment I had and I’m also kinda annoyed that I have to avoid Instagram…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 06:40 AM
7

Argh the other day I had a weak moment and went to my “blocked contacts” in fb and I saw my LVM-ex’s new gf changed her profile picture to a pic of them together. Great, I didn’t even realize fb would still let me see their profile pictures in the blocked list, especially their new updated profile picture? What? kinda defeats the purpose of blocked it doesn’t it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:30 AM
18

Argh this is just so gross to me after having been through it. My ex is a very awkward at first(but really more like an emotionally unavailable assclown) nerd and he literally goes from long term relationship to long term relationship within weeks. 3-4 years is about when he starts getting sick/bored of the girls or they finally start getting sick of him/standing up for themselves. He literally told me he is lonely and the way he copes is by going out and getting a new gf within a week of ending…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:10 AM
59

Yep definitely, all this. I swear my LVM-ex is probably telling his new girl and possibly even his friends/coworkers that I never wanted to have sex. Hmmm... I wonder WHY I didn’t enjoy sex with him. Because of literally everything you just said in this post. He was a selfish lover, pressured me when I was inexperienced and didn’t know what I was doing/expressed discomfort. When he didn’t do that I still had to tell him every single time what I enjoyed, like I hadn’t told him already multiple ti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 05:57 AM
6

My LVM-ex started playing boardgames towards the end which I think was kinda “healthier” because it was more social and he was really smart so it worked his brain out. But these boardgames would go for hours and hours, he’d go out to boardgame conventions every week and spend 12 hours there. Then his new friends would invite him to play a 6 hour boardgame the next day. Then he’d come home and watch boardgame reviews all day. Needless to say he started neglecting me and choosing them over me all …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 06:32 AM
3

Sadly I didn’t end it - he did. I tried to once but I took it back 🤦🏻‍♀️ he honestly refused to acknowledge his problems, he was diagnosed at an early age with a mild thing and never got treatment. His family was very disfunctional as well. I don’t want to say what it is because I don’t want to stigmatize it. I don’t believe everyone with mental illness are terrible people, he just refused to seek help. He could have learnt what effective communication and love is but he didn’t want to. I wasn’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 11:06 PM
14

That’s good to know that that’s not all the exists. My ex started boardgaming towards the end and unfortunately we didn’t have that in common so it only drew us further apart. These were also a bit of an addiction because they were boardgames that would take hours and hours to finish. He never had any “healthier” hobbies that involved going outside, even during our Covid lockdown he wouldn’t go for a short walk with me outside after working from home all day, when that was the only reason we wer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:19 PM
3

Thanks for the advice, that actually is a good idea! though I’d be really nervous to ring up the vet for fear of them thinking its weird that an ex is calling about another exes cat? :/ I kinda have phone anxiety. I don’t know if they would be allowed to tell me if he took her as well, is there a confidentiality thing? She is under his name and everything. I have a therapy session soon and might see what they say as well. And it does suck, I just hope he’s taking care of her. She had a cough as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:10 PM
7

My ex had a great career but as soon as he got home he was playing games or watching anime on his phone. He had an addict personality so I guess that was it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 11:32 AM
5

Those are my favorite kind of games, is it too hard to ask for a bf that likes short games with an actual ending and anime that isn’t bouncing boobs and harem all the time? I like anime for the art and if they have an emotional story line and same for games. tbh I usually turn off an anime that over-sexualises their characters because it rubs me the wrong way especially since they’re usually depicted as very young. Just feels so wrong and unnecessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 11:30 AM
3

I actually cringe at the disgusting things I begrudgingly accepted from my LVM-ex. CRINGE 🤢😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:59 AM
108

Argh I really hate the whole video game thing. I like video games and some anime but I in no way would prioritize it over my SO. My LVM-ex would often rather play games or watch his anime even in the middle of spending time with me, or rather do that than clean the thing I asked him to clean (hello - the pause button exists) Even after I had to ASK him to spend time with me. As a recovering pickmeisha I probably sold the whole “cool girl” act - “I like video games and anime too!” But I was no wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:57 AM
7

That’s so true. We really do vet our friends way more harshly then men! Crazy how that happens. Makes me wonder if I’ve been too judgemental with friends in the past. My LVM-ex always said he easily made acquaintances but was jealous that I had life-long friends. I was jealous that he so easily made acquaintances when I have social anxiety and struggle with small talk. It’s true though that I had a couple good friends to help me with the heartbreak and he didn’t really have that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 03:00 AM
5

Is it a bad idea to break NC to ask if my LVM-ex remembered to take the cat to the vet this month for her shot? During our relationship I was always the one worrying about her health and we fought all the time about him failing to clean the litter tray constantly. We took turns and he even lied to me once that it was my turn and made me clean it, after which I cried about having my trust betrayed and he laughed like it was a joke (then I made him clean it three times extra but whatever). I have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 02:09 PM
1

Thanks for the long reply. I have been doing some of the things you mentioned. I got my hair done recently I’ve started wearing makeup more often and painting my nails. Bought new clothes etc. I’ve had a lot of changes since I lived with him and had to find a somewhere else to live, which in itself is anxiety inducing. It’s been really difficult but despite this I have been trying to treat myself and finding this sub has been enlightening. I suppose I’m just in a rough patch at the moment, had a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 01:46 PM
2

This is SHOCKING to me how amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 06:04 AM
14

Wow! My ex exactly!!! He jumps from long-term relationship to long-term relationship within weeks just for the comfort of not having to be alone with his problems. I feel so used!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 03:16 AM
40

I don’t know if it’s done on purpose but subconsciously they probably just don’t think it’s their job or something. Actually sometimes my NVM-ex would say “I don’t care about it so I shouldn’t have to do it - it can wait” “if you care about it so much then do it so it stops bothering you” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Jesus, maybe it WAS on purpose. The realizations this sub keeps giving me! I also realized that my exes room at his parents house was disgusting coz it was his stay at home mothers job to clean …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:59 AM
8

I don’t have a lot of advice to be honest but I am just commenting to say I feel the same!! I have a lot of anger too. The break up is still fresh for me and our exes sound similar. I think it will just take time for me. I’ve always been a people pleaser and I was trying to be a fixer-upper in my relationship. Anger is actually a very new emotion for me too because I’m used to minimizing my needs and feeling sad instead of anger. So this new feeling is like what how do I deal with it. I may have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:57 AM
1

Thanks I really do hope I don’t do it again. The break up is still fresh and since finding this sub I’m on it everyday. I definitely want to stay single and try to focus on myself, unlike him i don’t need to jump onto the first guy that swipes my way. You’re right about the insecurity - he literally told me he moves on fast because he’s lonely. Despite also hating himself. Makes no sense to put another girl through his crap. and i was a fool to try and be a fixer upper. Only thing that sucks is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:55 PM
13

God I wish I had found his sub and learnt all this 3 years ago and I wouldn’t have wasted my kindness and young years on my NVM-ex. We were so dysfunctional and I should have dumped him ages ago. I think he DID know I was too good for him and it probably did make him feel bad until he used me enough to lift himself to his position now. He kicked me aside and found a new gf in two weeks after 3 years together. Argh. I knew him when he had nothing and now he’ll easily cycle through a multitude of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 11:21 AM
1

My ex took like 20 minute showers very obviously to jerk off. Every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:10 AM
1

What about guys who watch porn all the time but don’t get limp dick or can easily go at it? My ex watched it all the time I think probably even multiple times a day but he was still up and running when we had sex. I think it would be harder to spot these guys if they were good at hiding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 09:42 AM
1

Wow this makes so much sense with my ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:30 AM
7

I never realized this was what I was doing with my first ex! Until I was in too deep and would have stayed with him as long as possible - I was a fixer upper and pickmeisha. thank god he took himself out of my life. Next time I won’t put up with so much crap and I won’t waste so much time on the “safe” guy when he proves to not be safe anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:50 PM
3

Same. Hispanic family, dad never lifted a finger around the house, was borderline emotionally and physically abusive. My NVM-ex reminded me of my Dad in many ways, sadly none of his good qualities but only the bad. It’s sad how the way we grow up can have an affect on our future relationships, I hope to learn from my first relationship and not repeat the pattern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:46 PM
5

Argh. Last year with my NVM-ex, I went out of my way to buy a fancy gelato/icecream cake from our favorite gelato place that we would frequent (so it had sentimental value) and I made sure it included his favorite flavor. I had to also buy ice and a cooler to put it in so that I could drive it to our apartment too. He loved it and I was happy that I made such an effort without him even asking for anything. Few months later, it was my birthday and he had to ask what I wanted. I told him that it w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 11:26 PM
5

I love Pride & Prejudice! Matthew Macfadyen is my favorite Mr Darcy. I agree that Lizzie is an great example of a HVW woman in terrible LV times. But please no one tell me Mr Darcy isn’t anything but HV!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 09:52 AM
2

I’m glad you dumped him too! If only I had been the one to dump my ex haha. Never again, I’ve learned my lesson - don’t need no man child in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:36 AM
2

Where I live there’s small businesses that you pay to set this up for you before your date, you can pick the park you want to go to. Ive seen it around my city. I remember telling my LVM-ex how cute that is and what a great date that would be. He said we would do it “one day” - probably meaning I would have to be the one to a) remind him about it b) contact the place and set it up 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:16 PM
4

Argh my ex kept saying even at the end “it wasn’t my intention” I didn’t intend to make you feel that way” - you’re right it is SO maddening!!! I TOLD him over and over again how hurt and unloved I felt yet every time he hurt me it still “wasn’t his intention”? God, I really need to work on myself and my self-love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:23 AM
6

I feel this post so much. My LVM-ex dumped me a few months ago and im also dealing with the anger that I wasn’t the one to leave him and that I ignored all the red flags, I focused on potential, hoping one day he would change, go to therapy etc. argh. Never again!! I wasted 3 years propping him up, supporting him and loving him despite obvious flaws that everyone could see, thinking this was what love was, that one day it would all be “worth it” - news flash it never was and it never would have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:20 AM
2

Gosh I never spoke about my relationship with anyone not even when they asked. Realized now this was a massive red flag! Duh! I was so ashamed to even talk about him and how he reacted to things. i couldn’t even tell mum I was happy with him, I would always say “I don’t know i think so” And at work I was always pretending he was a great bf to my coworkers and they were shocked we broke up. Ha. Not that I would talk to them about my personal stuff but still why did I have to play him up so much. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 12:55 PM
26

This is how I feel at the moment. Recently my NVM-ex broke up with me and he even told me I always made him feel loved, well that makes one of us 😔 I also feel anger that I wasn’t the one to break up with him, because I honestly had so many more valid reasons to. Argh, never again am I going to put up with so much crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:12 PM
2

Yeah I never realized the importance of healthier hobbies to go along with nerdy things like this. I also like to watch SOME anime and play SOME games, but Ive realized lately that I also have to go for walks, keep a clean space, learn new things and eat healthy to keep myself sane. My NVM-ex refused to go for even a short walk with me so he could sit on the couch. And this was during a pandemic, after spending all day on our butts working from home, when literally the only reason we were allowe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:07 PM
6

Omg so true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 03:21 AM
1

“I’m sorry you feel that way” is what my ex used to always say 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 10:42 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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