borgbither Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
10	Advice needed		borgbither	/r/Divorce_Men	30/05/21 03:53 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	At the End of my Rope Man, I’m sorry. Good luck to you too. You will get through this.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/06/21 02:10 AM
5	At the End of my Rope I am so sorry you are going through this. I mentor a young man who sounds like he is in exactly your situation. Reading your post, I have even asked myself if you are him. Check my history for me asking for advice from my seat. No history on the account, which was set up some time ago for when I needed anonymity. I am glad you are evaluating getting out of that soul-destroying marriage. You shared some details that may be present in the life of the young man I mentor but may not be — he has not …	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/21 07:19 PM
1	Advice needed Thanks. Would welcome any advice about what space is the best to properly assess and apply the book. I’ve been in this man’s life for a few years and have resisted recommending it to him because I was concerned he might apply it naively — I see the book as a little bit dangerous: it’s great when properly applied at the right time but it’s not a “do this every time” kind of guide in my opinion. Thanks again	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/21 06:30 PM
1	Advice needed I think he knows that it’s not reasonable but is afraid that she will mentally collapse if he tells her that he has needs or that her burdens are too much for him. He loves her and doesn’t want to see that happen but his situation is also untenable.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/21 03:42 PM
3	Advice needed Thank you! What do you think of No More Mr. Nice Guy? I think he has been hesitant to tell her that she is killing him because of fear that she will psychologically melt down if he tells her that he has needs that are not met. I think she needs to hear it.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/21 03:40 PM
3	Advice needed The sailor analogy is helpful. If someone meets drama in the morning, they met drama; if they meet drama all day long, they are the drama queen. I don’t think the wife is a bad person. Quite the contrary. But she is an emotional drama queen and a vampire and doesn’t know how to be otherwise. She has been for years and needs to grow up or grow out of it stat or else that marriage is doomed to fail. I think he feels like he should be strong enough to shoulder the burden for both of them. That’s no…	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/21 03:27 PM
1	Advice needed Great analogy. I was angry when I heard that he had to work on some things, especially after observing their dynamic. Edit: it hit me after responding that she is a free rider and free riders typically ask for more and more. It’s not like one free ride is enough.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/21 03:23 PM
1	Advice needed Yes, yes, yes. He keeps giving and giving and doesn’t get much in return and combined with the normal life pressures that we all face, he is maxed out. He’s thinking that this will last a lifetime and is horrified. It’s a vicious circle.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/21 03:20 PM
2	Advice needed You got that right. Fortunately they are not rushing to have children.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/21 03:19 PM
1	Advice needed How long have you been married?	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/21 03:18 PM