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boss413 Archive

View 0 posts and 101 comments by boss413 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

The point of the book is to win friends and influence people; criticism makes people not want to be your friend nor want to listen to you to be influenced. Whether you get taken advantage of is an unrelated personal problem, unless you're being taken advantage of exclusively for your praising and complimenting of them. Flattery will lead to manipulative behavior because it is inherently dishonest. Directness is important for teaching things that someone knows they need to not fail at--like in a …
/r/seduction05/05/21 05:13 PM
6

Frat = Fraternity. It's a kind of group you can join at University. You live there and contribute to a Brotherhood and uphold a shared tradition and values.
/r/seduction09/11/20 03:24 AM
2

There's a lot to unpack here. "Incels" are demonized because incels are a community of toxic trolls who think they don't get laid because of a societal conspiracy, instead of the fact that they're narcissistic assholes. Virgins are ridiculed like any group who are unsuccessful at something. It's bullying, and it's wrong, but "punching down" is something virtually every animal does because it's easy and makes them feel better about themselves. You're principally describing what the seduction comm…
/r/seduction11/03/19 08:16 PM
1

TL;DR: Read the side bar. There are nearly infinite ways of generating perception of those characteristics. The simplest (and most difficult) is to actually become strong, wealthy, funny, fit, and well-dressed. The more complicated but easier way is to master pickup techniques. Sure, touching is part of it (in this community, it's referred to as Kino), talking sexually is more of a late-game tactic, after you've established attraction and helped them feel comfortable around you.
/r/seduction17/08/18 09:39 PM
9

Of course kind, empathetic guys can get girls! They also have to create attraction before selflessly giving time, effort, or comfort to those girls. If she's not attracted to you when you're being nice to her, the being nice isn't going to make her want to date you. Remember that attractiveness in men comes from power, sociability, and handsomeness. That translates into being perceived as strong, smart, wealthy, and overall capable; socially valuable, funny, and desired by other women; beautiful…
/r/seduction17/08/18 07:03 PM
1

If you're looking from advice from this community, reading the sidebar is a good place to start.
/r/seduction27/06/17 08:06 PM
1

I didn't invent them, so I won't try to summarize them here. Give 'em a Google--they're each worth a few hours of reading, internalizing, and practicing.
/r/seduction14/06/17 03:48 PM
3

Two things: First, I tend to have non-fact-based conversations--I try to keep conversations involving as few facts as possible. I like to run The Cube or Strawberry Fields, run through scenarios from a Zombie Apocalypse, do the OkTrends first date questions, or just play Would You Rather. This kind of conversation tends to be more entertaining, as well as giving you the opportunity to steer it more toward sexy things, telling stories, and giving validation. Second, redefine having something in c…
/r/seduction13/06/17 04:39 PM
3

I've got good news and bad news: Good news - No, you're not necessarily misunderstanding the essence of relationships. None of your expectations are unrealistic. No woman I've ever dated expected me to make huge romantic gestures whenever she felt like it--I make loving gestures according to the dynamics of our relationship. Bad news - You nailed the Disney thing. She thinks she's the main character in a movie and you're going to treat her like a princess. That isn't going away until she accepts…
/r/seduction19/01/17 12:52 AM
2

You've been downvoted because you violated the rule of not reading the material in the sidebar before posting.
/r/seduction17/01/17 06:44 PM
4

Very common. It's not necessarily good nor is it necessarily bad. You're going to screw up a lot in your first relationships regardless of how old you are. If you're instead asking about getting "lots of girls", the answer is pretty different. Very very few 17 year olds are picking up girls rather than having their first relationships. Those who do are the first members of their cohort to internalize the big lessons in pickup (read the sidebar). Will pickup be more fun when you're older, have mo…
/r/seduction17/01/17 06:43 PM
6

Behold the power of spending seven seconds Googling: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gjqim/the_definitive_seddit_inner_game_collection/
/r/seduction31/12/16 05:07 PM
31

Yes, you're missing out on dating teenagers. More importantly, you haven't been getting experience in dating, relationships, and seduction. If you're a newcomer to /r/seduction you need to read the sidebar. Those characteristics you mentioned (nice, sweet, awesome) aren't particularly meaningful in this skill set. Attractive sure is, but are you clear that women are attracted overwhelmingly to non-physical characteristics like power and social status? That's why we use the phrase "demonstrating …
/r/seduction31/12/16 06:54 AM
21

This question is too broad with too few details. In fact, it's basically the prototypical question that drives guys to /r/seddit. Anyone who wants to get laid/a girlfriend can do it pretty easy if they're okay with being with someone in their league or lower. Here's an answer assuming you mean the girls aren't interested relatively early in the conversation; an answer would be totally different if blow out occurs after five minutes. You might need to demonstrate higher value than you currently a…
/r/seduction21/12/16 05:31 PM
7

I'm sorry to be glib in that comment. A lot of that advice is general hygiene, and is therefore universally applicable. However, I do have some personalized advice for women in this arena, all backed up by sources I'm not looking up right now: Skin: All pretty good advice. Except the nofap component. Clothes: WAY more complicated for women, since they're dressing to fit in women's social circles. If you're dressing for men, you need to know your own physical gifts and accentuate them with skin, …
/r/seduction15/11/16 06:42 PM
4

How to be less physically unattractive to men? There's a rack of them next to the checkout stand at your local grocery store.
/r/seduction15/11/16 06:20 PM
8

No, it's not (there's some good advice here, though). It's not a good example of Inner Game and it's not sidebar quality. Inner Game is building your self-esteem, self-efficacy, frame, and self-image. 1-47 are all external, 48-52 are methods of achieving 1-47, which is not the same thing. It's also riddled with pseudoscience, anecdotal evidence, and self-contradictions.
/r/seduction15/11/16 06:16 PM
26

I like what you're going for here, but I have to disagree with several of the specifics on your list, and it could use a preamble that addresses the thesis you're not saying: Almost all of your advice is "how to be less unattractive", not how to be handsome. Again, I don't disagree with that thesis--the biological anthropology perspective suggests that physically women are mostly looking for things to disqualify a man (it's not that he has great skin, it's that he doesn't have terrible skin, it'…
/r/seduction15/11/16 05:44 PM
2

Yes, this whole interaction fit the Urban Dictionary definition of 'creepy': adj. An overused slang term for sexually inappropriate or perverted or for attempting to derive sexual gratification through dishonorable means. Unfortunately, the word has become an abused favorite of melodramatic people who try hard to use the word wherever possible, to the point of rendering the word almost meaningless. "inappropriate or perverted": you entirely objectified and repeatedly sexualized a girl in a conte…
/r/seduction12/10/16 08:13 PM
10

DING DING DING I'm only going to expand on this a little, because /u/pacollegENT nailed it. What are the consequences you're worried about? The guy's going to beat you up or yell at you? If he comes back and you're visibly threatening their relationship he's going to be a lot more concerned with the fact that she didn't tell you she's here with her boyfriend. If he's not, then he's just the kind of guy who's always looking to get into a fight. He'll fight you for scuffing his shoes. The realisti…
/r/seduction12/10/16 07:31 PM
4

I agree with /u/recyclablebanthas: don't overthink it. What do you imagine would be counterproductive? I'll give you an example of how this is easier: If a woman's gorgeous don't just compliment her beauty, find something she has control over to compliment, but a similarly gorgeous man doesn't hear that as often as beautiful women do, so it's possible that won't get you dismissed immediately. It's still a lame thing to do, but the consequences are likely lower. Attraction: Guys are more visually…
/r/seduction08/10/16 06:24 PM
1

"Prematurely" in this context necessarily means "before the girl knows what she feels and/or reciprocates," since the "perfect" time to tell each other how you feel is when she says "I feel the same way, this time together has been wonderful." It's also a case where it's not a discussion of the form "I feel like I need to check in with you about how seriously we're treating this relationship;" it's a "revelation." Sure, it's possible that there's none of the Nice Guy/Main Character issues I ment…
/r/seduction08/10/16 04:14 PM
7

I think of it as a combination of Nice Guy syndrome and the Main Character fallacy. Nice Guys believe they deserve a relationship/sex because of their inherent goodness as demonstrated by all the nice things they do. Main Characters lock themselves into the mindset that they're the main character in a story, and think they're entitled to The Girl Reward. In both cases, the guy gets it in his head that knowing his feelings is what makes her obligated to give him his entitled reward. After all, in…
/r/seduction07/10/16 10:39 PM
1

I feel like you phrased this interestingly; you used the logical operators "if" and "not", which means we can unpack the options implicit in the question: If your goal is to impress others, all of the things you mentioned are possible ways to do it. If your goal is to get sex or a relationship or friendship, that might not include being impressive, although being impressive certainly helps. You can have passable, unimpressive levels of only a couple of those and still achieve that goal. If your …
/r/seduction07/10/16 10:24 PM
1

To those who immediately disagree with the the title, consider that 95% of the world fits in the meaty part of the bell curve. True, for the 2.5% who are super handsome, your looks matter because you get special treatment, especially by the opposite sex. For the 2.5% who are genetically ugly, you've got a specific handicap in this arena. But the middle two standard deviations? Species propagate by the rule of good-enough--"normal" is pretty much what our brains are evolved to seek out. You shoul…
/r/seduction19/08/16 03:51 PM
2

Yes... kind of. If you want to compliment something about how she looks, compliment something she has control over (her style, her confidence, her taste) instead of something she doesn't. The only exception to this is if you're so remarkably handsome that any indicator of interest from you is enough to breeze past the Attraction-building phase of pickup. The explanation I like for this is that beautiful women have been complimented on their beauty since before they could understand words, so tha…
/r/seduction18/08/16 04:29 PM
1

It's never too early to approach and chat up girls. Just don't take running game too seriously, because you'll come off predatory and creepy. Do yourself a favor and initiate conversations with girls and guys you're not familiar with, and you'll get better at both running game and being comfortable talking to people, which are really important skills to develop. Aside from Statutory laws, it's exceptionally difficult for young (under the drinking age) guys to pick up women who are older than the…
/r/seduction27/06/16 08:29 PM
1

I'd start by spending your free time with a friend and seeing what kinds of things they're interested in doing with you. Have some examples loaded up (cooking or photography classes, sports, learning improv, doesn't matter what). Schedule time that works for both of you.
/r/seduction15/06/16 10:40 PM
1

Regardless of whether you're trying to improve, excuses are what you say when you want someone to know why something isn't good enough, despite the fact that nobody asked why. Saying things like these make you sound insecure and will fuck you up after you get matches: Anyway yea I'm trying to be more active lately but having inflexible job shifts that hanged [sic] week to week screw me up. Basically I don't know if I work Wednesday until Sunday. This was in response to advice to use pictures tha…
/r/seduction15/06/16 10:37 PM
2

While riding a large dog. And only be shirtless if you have the abs for it. And always smize. You're right that your first pic should be "you"; it should be the most "you" it can be. Don't imagine a pic that says "this is what I look like when I'm forcing a smile at my phone while in my messy living room" makes women attracted to you, because that you is boring. 80% of what makes men attractive to women isn't physical--get a jump start on building as much of that as possible.
/r/seduction15/06/16 08:34 PM
2

Nope. Being interesting in one way or another is the most important thing, by far.
/r/seduction15/06/16 05:55 PM
65

You might consider posting this in The Red Pill or Men's Rights. This subreddit is about improving skills in seducing women, not whining that you have to improve skills in seduction and women aren't trying hard enough to understand you.
/r/seduction04/05/16 04:18 PM
6

Yep. I'm going to start this off by saying that the percentages in all of these sources lack sample sizes or representative characteristics, but... this is the Internet, so here it goes anyway. [O]n dating sites like OKCupid women get many, many messages per day even if they are below average attractiveness and don't put much effort into their profile, and men, even men who have their lives together and take good care of themselves, can barely get a single reply As this OkTrends blog post argues…
/r/seduction14/02/16 08:16 PM
1

It depends on how far you mean in this context. Sexual physical escalation (Seduction) follows after establishing Comfort. This includes kissing, stroking, tickling, touching the face (e.g., brushing hair out of her eyes, stroking her hair), resting your hand on her leg/knee when sitting or hip when standing, etc. If you're saying you don't want to escalate sexually until you've established comfort, then you're doing just fine. Based on your question, however, I doubt this is what you mean. Comf…
/r/seduction21/01/16 05:19 PM
20

The answer to virtually every "escaping the friendzone" post will be some variation on this: move on from this girl. You're not doing yourself any favors by pushing the issue. Meeting-to-seduction takes about 4 hours of uninterrupted time (yes, this is generally spread out over more than one interaction). If you're taking more time than that, it's because you're not escalating from Attraction to Comfort-building to Seduction at the right cadence. You either need to work on your game in general, …
/r/seduction20/01/16 11:06 PM
12

The issue is that you created a very real-feeling future in your mind and now that future isn't possible because you tied it to a single person. You need to create a real-feeling future in your head [that you want] that isn't dependent on anyone but yourself. That doesn't necessarily mean that you imagine yourself alone, but that you imagine that you'll end up with the kind of person who wants to join the version of you that you're imagining. This is why inner game is so important; you need to k…
/r/seduction16/01/16 03:37 AM
3

How is a guy supposed to like women under these circumstances? The same way you're supposed to like any group of people when a "large portion" of them don't meet your standards: Ignore the ones that don't and focus on the ones that do. Your perspective of women is different from mine, since I run into the type of women you describe incredibly infrequently. There are three possible explanations for this: 1. There's something about me that makes my sample different from yours, 2. We're sampling di…
/r/seduction18/12/15 06:48 PM
1

That sounds easy to say but not so easy to do. When the courses end everyone is running to the next course and how the heck can I try to talk with them then. Actually this is very simple, it's only emotionally difficult. Sure, don't chase people down. Set up a study group or something. Work in group projects. Set up study dates. If I can't get this girl's these girls' numbers tommorrow at the course, then I give up and go daygame in my campus Again, lots of people. Not this one girl. Never indul…
/r/seduction13/10/15 05:27 PM
1

You didn't fuck up by not asking for her number, you fucked up by thinking in terms of this one girl. There are literally hundreds of pretty girls who are either what you think your type is or a type you know nothing about yet and are awesome. Ever gone out with a granola girl who's super into smoking weed and talking about philosophy? An ex-cheerleader who's learning that the smart guys are way more fun to spend time with than varsity athletes? A fine arts major who hates wearing clothes becaus…
/r/seduction12/10/15 03:45 PM
2

On this subreddit we use the 3 Second Rule, not the 3 week rule. If you're interested, make your intentions clear (not explicit, but clear nonetheless), don't pretend you're "trying to be friendly" or "just getting to know her". That's how guys end up in the Friend Zone to begin with, and most importantly, it's dishonest. You should be just as friendly and interested with everyone, but saying right now you're not trying to get "closer to her" is a red flag to me that you might fall into that pit…
/r/seduction11/10/15 04:29 PM
1

I think the split is a lack of cynicism and misogyny. PUAs are born of the expectation that women have their own drives and motivations and it's our job to understand them in order to understand our interactions with women, whereas TRP wants to simply overpower those drives and motivations. I think TRP focuses on the Fight Club disconnect between what society promised each man and sees the solution as making yourself into an Übermensch in order that women should flock to you because you've becom…
/r/seduction22/08/15 04:54 PM
2

TL;DR: I'm ambivalent. TRP espouses concrete steps to developing what /r/seduction calls Inner Game--great. On the other hand, I think they put out a lot of vitriolic anecdotal evidence to point out the ebbing tide of men's social dominance, but that particular disingenuous practice doesn't negate a few important underlying truths. Specifically, a lot of Field Reports are designed to create "righteous anger"--Fox News's bread and butter. It's an extremely powerful positive emotion that reinforce…
/r/seduction20/08/15 04:15 PM
1

Obviously you can do anything you want--I'm not here to argue with you and I'm sorry you're going to be in a place where you won't be able to talk to girls. If you feel like you have nothing to lose anyway, go ahead and text her. I'm telling you that she's already "done with it", and there's no magical set of words that are going to rebuild your status given what you've already said. So for your own sake, just set your expectations such that when she flakes or rejects you it doesn't make you mad…
/r/seduction19/08/15 07:41 PM
2

Read this post. "Frame" is used a lot in the pickup community (but after a google search, I found no official definition) to refer to a man's emotional stability, confidence, inner strength....something along those lines. If you are building a piece of furniture or something and you have the frame constructed, you push hard against the frame to make sure it is strong and stable enough before you start on the exterior. That is roughly what women are doing when they test your frame.
/r/seduction19/08/15 07:01 PM
2

Sorry dude. It sounds like you failed a frame test. You're not going to fix that by forcing the issue--you'll just seem more desperate.
/r/seduction19/08/15 06:54 PM
2

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with getting into a relationship at your age. I'm telling you to not worry about it for a good long while. In doing the things I advise (we call them developing Inner Game, and sure, a job is a great place to start), you'll end up getting the kinds of things you want a lot easier than if you started trying to learn seduction. If you try to develop Outer Game (the tactics of PUAs) you're going to fail so often that you'll alienate all of the girls you know be…
/r/seduction04/08/15 12:46 AM
4

Until you're out of school, don't worry about this stuff. Everything begins with becoming a complete person that women find attractive, not learning PUA rules. Although this sounds counterintuitive, it means building a life that's more about you learning what you're good at and bad at, what you're passionate about, and who you generally are--there's no way to have real confidence unless you have lived enough life to be able to understand the world and your place in it. When I was 15 I thought I …
/r/seduction03/08/15 06:33 PM
3

This isn't a seduction question. It's a relationships question. RELATIONSHIP ANSWER: When selecting a partner you don't demonstrate that you're going to put in the amount of effort someone else wants, you demonstrate the amount of effort you feel comfortable being reciprocated. When you are in a relationship you have regular conversations about the status of your relationship to make sure you're both feeling comfortable about what each of you is putting into and getting out of the relationship. …
/r/seduction30/06/15 04:10 PM
1

HOW to approach? Well it'd make sense to start off by setting expectations around this persona you're cultivating. Buy him a drink or ask for his number? That's just being nice and asking to fuck (respectively). You'll have to approach in ways that allow you to frame the interaction to have conflict: opinions (brush first or floss first), would you rathers (would you rather fuck your mother in the body of your gf or your gf in the body of your mother), deliberate arguments (he's wearing a UW shi…
/r/seduction12/05/15 07:28 PM
2

I agree that continuing to run game (i.e. make yourself attractive) to your partner is important. I've made lots of comments to this effect within this community. However, I feel like I need to draw a distinction: craving conflict and continuously running game are not the same thing. A relationship with those parameters sounds demoralizing and exhausting. I really don't know any guys who want to be constantly fighting. The reason for the Robert Greene suggestion isn't so "you can be better at se…
/r/seduction09/05/15 09:23 PM
0

You have a great attitude about seduction and it's cool that you have such a specific goal. The issue (which you've already identified) is that finding this particular guy (hot, has a huge amount of game, and is interested in using it on you specifically in perpetuity) is going to be tough because there just aren't that many hot guys with a "love of the game" to begin with. What I'm saying here is that finding a hot guy who will play along with your "feisty" persona is probably not going to be t…
/r/seduction09/05/15 05:25 PM
4

Hm. Tinder should be a pretty DTF group. I can only advise you on what's worked for me, so consider this: "Getting to know you" conversations are great for friends. They allow you to know how you might be able to spend your time together, see what you have in common, things that boyfriends need to have with girlfriends. I try to keep first date conversations involving as few facts as possible. I like to run The Cube or Strawberry Fields, run through scenarios from a Zombie Apocalypse, do the OkT…
/r/seduction02/04/15 09:02 PM
4

I'm going to start off by saying this assumes your goal is to F-close, because there might be people who disagree with my perspective if they see your predicament as a good position to be in. A big issue is context. How old are you/they? How are you meeting them? Where and when is the date taking place? The closer they are to mid-20s, the more likely they are to be okay with polyamory. Are you meeting them on the Internet? Your selection criteria are probably misaligned with wanting a FWB. If yo…
/r/seduction02/04/15 08:09 PM
1

First: your question is phrased condescendingly and this is an inappropriate subreddit for it. This subreddit does not generally think consenting adults should be "protected" from sex. That being said, technically seduction is about getting women you want to have sex with to a point where they want to have sex with you--it's not our problem what happens after that. So the principles of building Attraction and Comfort, and achieving Seduction still apply to people in relationships. Build Attracti…
/r/seduction28/02/15 08:42 PM
1

I'm not sure what you're asking for here; emotional support? Advice? Constructive criticism? Are you trying to get laid? Find a relationship? Let's keep the important thing in mind: attraction is malleably nonphysical. There are definitely women who are into Louis CK and Heisenberg, BUT that's because those women are attracted to funny and charismatic guys. It sounds like you're good at demonstrating value when you're communicating, but not great at doing it visually. Play to your strengths. You…
/r/seduction03/12/14 09:41 PM
3

[T]he very intelligent and very attractive [women], don't reveal how smart they are. They're too socially savvy to do that.... Maybe there's a way to describe this as it relates to your perspective. Socially savvy people (as well as the people you're describing) talk about reality TV and Starbucks because lots of people watch reality TV and drink Starbucks, and that makes it easy to find shared opinions or at least something to relate. These people probably don't care about the Real Housewives, …
/r/seduction11/11/14 07:25 PM
3

OkCupid posted something about this awhile ago (link). When there's no social pressure, it looks like there are, unfortunately, racial biases: (Chart) Obviously that's about sending messages on a dating site, not face-to-face seduction, but it tells you something important: Race matters. It's not fair, but it also isn't a black and white thing: the percentages range from 17-38%, not either 0 or 100%.
/r/seduction17/08/14 08:41 PM
7

Keeping a guy's attention is no different than keeping a woman's attention (I'm assuming you mean "without groping during the conversation"): keep up an entertaining conversation without becoming desperate/a clown. Non-fact-based conversations like "would you rather", hypotheticals, and games like "The Cube" are great ways to maintain a fun conversation that allow you to branch off once you've identified something they're passionate about. If you're constantly going out with women who are hotter…
/r/seduction26/07/14 08:36 PM
3

/u/puaCurveBall hit the main point: if you think the problem is that you're going to see ex-girlfriends it means either: 1) You think they can't handle seeing you (in which case, don't worry about their emotions, they can find somewhere else to go if they fell hopelessly in unrequited love with you ::dismissive wank at the absurdity::), 2) You can't handle seeing them (in which case, learn to handle adult relationships), 3) You think others will have a problem with it (the only way that would ha…
/r/seduction16/07/14 01:35 AM
3

You know why there's a rumor that they're slutty? 1) Teenage boys lie about how much sex they're having because nobody can disprove their stories with the girls who go to another school, and 2) Everyone wants to believe that there exists a harem of slutty girls who attend a [probably religious] school. Here's the brutal reality that will take some of the pressure off: only 14% of girls have sex on their prom night (almost exclusively with their boyfriends that they've already been having sex wit…
/r/seduction26/06/14 06:08 PM
1

That may have been downvoted because it's a strange concept for an amateur who's been operating in a vacuum to try to do an AMA here. It'd be like if a college-aged weightlifter showed up in /r/fitness to do an AMA without explaining why he was worth asking anything of.
/r/seduction14/06/14 08:25 PM
11

Exactly. To paraphrase the Governator: Everybody behave and stop bickering. This is about inspiring more people to get into [seduction]. I've never understood people who argue constantly about who is wrong and who is right in [seduction], because the fact is, there are many "right" answers, especially for people just starting out. Do you guys think [David DeAngelo] and I did the same thing? No. In fact you could walk into [a club] and watch the 5 best guys and see 5 completely different routines…
/r/seduction14/06/14 03:49 PM
2

Sleaziness is about being way too obvious that you're interacting purely for your own benefit. The quintessential example is a sleazy car salesman who doesn't give a shit what you need out of a car, he wants his commission and will manipulate the interaction to get a sale. I won't predict specific ways you might be communicating this (your examples sound like they're on the right track), but I can tell you a training mindset to try out: pretend they're all dudes. Just try to have a good time wit…
/r/seduction11/06/14 02:57 PM
2

A big part of Inner Game is what you've said you're already starting: do things for yourself from which you can get tangible, positive results. Work out and you'll look more like the way you want to look. Get a hobby you enjoy and you'll get better at it and have interesting things to talk about. Learn a skill/take a class in something you're interested in and learn something that advances you as a person. From these results come the beliefs that "I am capable because I can do these things. I'm …
/r/seduction05/06/14 05:34 PM
5

/r/socialskills, /r/SocialEngineering In seduction terms? You ignore the Seduction phase, just open and build attraction by demonstrating high value, but do it in a nonsexual way. Then build comfortability ad infinitum by having interesting conversations in the same way you do when seducing. If the problem is that women you're not attracted to want to sleep with you, you've run into the HB problem: if you're trying to make yourself high-value enough that people want to be with you platonically, …
/r/seduction05/06/14 03:40 PM
3

This isn't typically what's meant by "older woman"; you're not really in different life stages, except that she can go to bars and you can't. That makes it a difficulty of practicality (women of 25 are usually not found at college parties) and a few things that can be played off as shit tests. As this chart shows, you're at a slight disadvantage, not an insurmountable one. The issue is that women find status and power attractive, and those things usually accompany age, but not necessarily. It's …
/r/seduction23/05/14 04:45 PM
1

I found it very useful, but it was completely useless until I was older than 25. At that age range women one's own age are still largely "out having fun" and not looking for a relationship, and women older are generally not looking for younger guys. That was my experience, at least. Since you've been on OkCupid, I assume you've read the OkCupid blog and used My best face to choose your profile pics?
/r/seduction18/04/14 07:21 PM
2

Are you feeling bad for her or for the past version of yourself? If it's for the past version of yourself, that's just something to get over. If, however, you feel bad that she isn't getting the attention that most people crave and deserve, you're empathizing, which is not a bad thing to do. Anyone who wants to influence others (and seduction is a form of influence) must have that as a finely-tuned ability. /u/BlueIsStylinOnYou and /u/ARealSocialIdiot are both absolutely right that if you're eng…
/r/seduction03/04/14 11:29 PM
2

I agree with you that maintaining internal game will always be important for all of us, no matter where else we go in life, but I believe "seduction" and "pickup" are still relevant to guys in relationships. While I'm not really a Mystery follower, I still analyze pickup from the Attraction-Rapport-Seduction framework, and I consciously inject those things into my relationship regularly. Consistently demonstrate high value/don't become an AFC. Maintain interesting conversations as opposed to dev…
/r/seduction01/04/14 07:11 PM
1

Right, and the information you want shared is not entirely within the scope of this subreddit; you're asking for [FR]s from "mid-game" which is a term you just made up. You're effectively asking guys (like me) who have open relationships to give reports on how we keep our relationships healthy while we continue to run game? Here's what a [FR] would sound like from me over the last week: My Pivot/GF/Tandem Hunter and I had a conversation a long time ago about what our boundaries and rules are reg…
/r/seduction07/02/14 05:50 PM
1

Hmm. Well, maybe you're looking more at /r/polyamory? I guess I'm not really clear what your situation is: What happens after the first date? Or when you've go out a couple of times, bang, but then she is still playing coy? This sounds like you're still trying to seduce a woman. Is your question how to get her back into bed? In that case this is a /r/seduction question. The alternative is that she's being coy about wanting to hang out with you or about wanting to be in a relationship. What's the…
/r/seduction07/02/14 12:19 AM
1

I think the issue in this thread is that you're asking for something beyond the scope of /r/seduction. This subreddit is about making yourself into kind of person that women might want to sleep with and creating situations in which they want to do so because that's the definition of seduction. Ultimately you might use seduction as a subordinate goal beneath creating an ongoing relationship, but that's not seduction--that's /r/relationships. Another possible explanation is that these women have e…
/r/seduction06/02/14 10:04 PM
4

First off, congrats on getting your desired success :) 1) Your question is dependent on the definition of "success" as "everyone" defines it. If the goal is to find someone with whom to spend your life (this was my goal back when I started, and upfront communication with sets has gotten myself and my tandem hunter into an awesome lifestyle), that answers your question entirely. 2) If the problem is that you're feeling personally guilty because you're successfully running #close-objective game on…
/r/seduction03/11/13 08:39 AM
1

My fiancee is bisexual and awesome, so she and I tandem hunt, therefore this is something we've been working on [and having some success with]. Things we've learned: 1) The phrase "I have a boyfriend" means just as little for you as it does when any other [male] PUA hears it. Sexuality is a continuum, and you can't assume the woman you're talking to is a 0 on the Kinsey Scale. Assume compliance until the set blows out. 2) Opening is easier for you than it is for a male PUA, as is establishing Ki…
/r/seduction05/10/13 01:42 AM
8

If the question is why women at parties think you're not boyfriend material, you've just given yourself your answer: you're not fun, and you don't want to let her to have her kind of fun with you. Why would anyone want a significant other who isn't fun to be with? If you don't want to play her game, that's fine. There are tons of PUA techniques based around subverting her expectations, by framing the interaction in a new, fun way. But you have to play a game if you want to be interesting-enough …
/r/seduction20/08/13 08:40 PM
7

The way you're describing it sounds like she was interpreting your attempt to push for a date as a blowoff of her advance. Saying you want to steer a conversation toward "serious," might make you sound disinterested in her. When you start receiving indicators of interest, you eventually have to return them, or else she will feel like she's hitting her head against a wall, just like you are by wanting a "date" and being rebuffed. I'm interested in hearing what your pushes for a "date" or "serious…
/r/seduction20/08/13 07:00 PM
2

Just because neither party remembers it doesn't mean it wasn't incredibly important in framing the rest of the interaction. The first ten seconds of any interaction impact the rest of the conversation; doubly so if this is the introduction of a new person. This means the your opener is going to help determine whether she gives you the benefit of the doubt when you're getting familiar or joking or advancing/escalating. The amount of leeway you receive when taking risks can determine their outcome…
/r/seduction05/07/13 06:24 PM
3

Yep. Obviously I'm using hyperbole here, but for some people/situations, while that's what it looks like from the outside, it's a million times harder than "just bucking up."
/r/seduction17/01/13 06:28 PM
3

Be careful about this, you're sounding misogynistic. Going to /r/AskWomen to find out how to pick up women is like asking deer how best to hunt them. You ask successful hunters how to hunt and try it yourself more than once. No matter what you try when it comes to attempting to get a gf, or get laid, or make a friend, you're going to fail more than succeed. Women don't know how to pick up women, they know how they've personally reacted to some guys in some situations. Actual PUAs have hit on and…
/r/seduction17/01/13 03:53 PM
1

25% of the time, it works every time.
/r/seduction23/11/12 06:55 PM
5

For a moment I thought you ended your post by saying DAMN; HITLER :), which made me wonder what was on the business card.
/r/seduction23/11/12 06:53 PM
3

Since you've been working on these issues, what do you say to initiate the conversation to constitute a Pick Up approach? How long do these interactions last? You're gauging success by getting a number; how would you get from starting to talk to asking for the number? Generally the process starts with building attraction, then creating a comfortable rapport. Sometime in the beginning of the comfort-building phase, you could make the ask or set up an instant date (e.g., "Hey, you want to step ove…
/r/seduction18/11/12 09:26 PM
3

Great specific response instead of simply saying "work on your inner game."
/r/seduction03/08/12 03:55 PM
1

As helpful as reading and learning from the mistakes of others can be, this is a social skill, not an academic one (much to my disappointment), so it's practice, practice, practice. The good news is that you're entering the lowest-pressure, highest opportunity area of your life: Dorms. Go make it a point to talk to everyone often. Do yourself a favor and try to understand what different kinds of people enjoy talking and hearing about--it's not the same for everyone, trust me. It's great that you…
/r/seduction18/07/12 08:13 PM
1

Great article; David Wong is brilliant.
/r/seduction16/07/12 04:42 AM
1

I recognize that this might not be particularly apropos to this forum/subreddit, but I really agree with what you're saying. One common flaw in thinking that I keep noticing is that people all assume that they're the main character in a story. That's just inaccurate to assume. Just based on odds alone, you're not going to be the lone survivor of the zombie apocalypse, you're going to be a zombie shuffling toward the survivors. Hollywood has given us this faulty idea that if we make right decisio…
/r/seduction16/07/12 04:39 AM
1

This could be a great X-Post in /r/SocialEngineering tomorrow, in case you'd like to get a more asexual answer.
/r/seduction10/07/12 04:01 AM
2

I'm a professional market researcher, and one thing that I have had proven to me over and over again is that A) there is no one best anything [except Coca Cola] and B) There are only a few "bests" for groups of people. For example, there is no one best tomato sauce, because some people want it chunky, some want it smooth. BUT there are only about six big categories, and if you (a spaghetti sauce label) can make a great version of each, you'll be able to sell to more than 95% of the market a real…
/r/seduction10/07/12 03:13 AM
2

I agree with D33D33 that OP is overthinking things, and that practice is absolutely essential I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with you on this little part of your advice: I used to do this (it's how my father, a professional interviewer, taught me to have conversations with new people), and it gets you everywhere with dudes and in professional contexts, but with women it falls flat. I think that yes, people like to talk about themselves, but the whole, what do you do/how did you get into that/…
/r/seduction09/07/12 11:09 PM
1

Yep. PUAdept's evaluation is pretty much my thinking as well; she's in an "emotionally-confusing" place. I can't tell you how many times women have told me they're "confused," and although I'm starting to understand it now, it's a tough nut to crack. This happens when they're overwhelmed by feeling an attraction they weren't expecting in addition to leftover romantic feelings (possibly for others, maybe for you), and the cognitive dissonance that those emotions, her actions, and her thoughts are…
/r/seduction09/07/12 06:26 PM
3

About 40% report it. For your game's sake, think about it in terms of how many hours it takes to get a woman comfortable-enough with you to be willing to have sex with you. For some women that amount of time is very high, for some very low, and it is definitely affected by the situation and how good you are at achieving this objective. That number around four hours for the average if you're talking, not clubbing, and she isn't noticeably intoxicated. Fun fact, women who like the taste of beer ar…
/r/seduction29/06/12 03:34 PM
3

First off, the "HB" prefix means "Hot Babe," and is applied to 8s, 9s, and 10s; those on the high side of the bell curve of physical attractiveness among a population. If a women is not more attractive than average, they are not a "Hot Babe." That being said, there is nothing wrong with women who are not physically beautiful. They're human beings who are just as deserving of love as you are. If you are attracted to a person, go for it. Be happy, and if anyone tries to make fun of you for it--ser…
/r/seduction24/05/12 02:29 AM
0

Haha, you've probably done it in the past without realizing it. In fact, once I learned to recognize the common signals for lust (above) and love it became really interesting to note how the body language of girlfriends have indicated how they feel about me in certain situations. Obviously it isn't a requirement by any measure to do this. Just keep in mind that your interest is attractive to some most men in and of itself. Everybody wants to be wanted :)
/r/seduction16/05/12 06:52 PM
1

This is a lesson I've only recently started really taking to heart as part of my career as a market researcher: It doesn't matter how wonderful a person, product, service, or place is, it will not appeal to everyone. You can't take it personally when you don't get adulation from everyone. Most of the time when someone says "you're not my type," they're not just letting you down gently. Everyone has an archetype that they're looking for, and nobody fits all of them. Malcolm Gladwell described thi…
/r/seduction16/05/12 04:21 PM
2

Great advice. I'd like to emphasize the suggestion to smile slowly. Quick smiles (especially by women) are perceived to be more fake than those that creep onto your face. There is a LOT to learn about the body language of attraction (especially hands and eyes), but here's a quick tip to let a guy know you're attracted to him: when looking at each, other bite your lip, shrug your shoulders, and turn your head away--all done slightly, and without exaggeration. It's a cross-cultural signal for attr…
/r/seduction16/05/12 04:06 PM
1

I'd agree for different a reason than you gave. I believe what you are describing (holding a conversation about frivolous topics, or talking for the sake of talking) are not things that contribute to how intelligent women perceive you to be (is someone who knows what GTL means perceived as more intelligent by anyone?), but how strong your social skills and likability are. These are separate measures, and are equally important for their assessment of their attraction to you.
/r/seduction16/05/12 03:53 PM
3

The title here is "Convince me that my looks won't prevent me from getting laid." All else being equal handsome guys will out-pickup average guys (not a guy, but the groups). But if you take care of the things you can control so that you just look "normal," then the answer to "that person has as much a chance to attract women as a more handsome guy?" is yes. You need to get your inner game into working order, because your lack of confidence is going to handicap the crap out of you way more than …
/r/seduction08/05/12 04:14 PM
1

To build on the Red Queen recommendation, you've described yourself as average-looking which is actually a really great place to be. Here are three reasons why: 1) It isn't survival of the most fit organism, it's the survival of the genes that fit their environment amongst a population. This means that it's not the one most attractive guy getting laid all the time, it's a whole bunch of the most-not-unattractive guys getting laid constantly. 2) Think really hard about how important it is to you …
/r/seduction08/05/12 12:26 AM
1

First off, this age difference is a big one--you're half again older than she is. Your observation that you need to learn to be okay alone is doubly important for her. Think about it this way: she's in high school, and hasn't had the eight years of experience not being a child that you have. She has even less of an idea of what kind of person she can be than you have about yourself. And please don't protest that she's really mature for her age. The additional reality is that you're moving away, …
/r/seduction25/04/12 05:30 PM
12

When I started out I thought the same thing, but eventually I learned something about myself: I was being condescending, especially with my facial expressions. I can tell you from both personal and vicarious experience that smart guys can pick up a much wider range of women than average or dumb guys. That being said, I improved dramatically when I started to use empathy and mirroring. Mirroring is straightforward, try to communicate only a little more energy than the set (esp. body language), an…
/r/seduction17/04/12 12:14 AM
3

It sounds like you're coming at this from a really common, specific position: You have oneitis. You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself and her if you act on your feelings right now, and pressure is toxic to seduction. You should listen to Marsupian and worthwhilethrowaway, and read up. Common advice for your position is to GFTOW (which is really irresponsible, so ignore it), but going out and flirting with different girls for a couple of months will be good for you. If afterwards you still…
/r/seduction27/03/12 04:46 PM
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