~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | Why do scrotes think you’re either pretty or smart, but not both?Yeah. I also had my high school sweetheart tell me, "People only like your Facebook statuses because you're pretty." Oh, I'm sorry, I believe my family and friends actually think I'm clever or funny? Silly me! I actually called him out as a "joke" by quoting his statement as my status & it still comes up as a Facebook memory once a year, over a decade later. 🙃 People also liked and commented on the status as if it were a compliment (bc I was called pretty) and I'm amazed no one was like, "hey th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 12:17 PM |
| 76 | Why do scrotes think you’re either pretty or smart, but not both?I dated a dude in college who told me, verbatim, "People must be surprised when you start talking." Uh, what? Why? He elaborated with a smile, "Because you're so pretty, but you're really smart!" It was like we were suddenly in two different dimensions. He thought he was complimenting me. I did not feel complimented, I felt deeply insulted. It wasn't until years later I was able to articulate that I felt so profoundly uncomfortable because his "compliment" was actually him revealing his own shit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 01:58 AM |
| 14 | "I love your cooking" is NOT a real complimentWhen people compliment me, I often get "your eyes are so pretty," and my go-to response is, "thanks, I grew them myself!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/20 12:27 PM |
| 4 | Spread the word lurkers. We know what's upI was alone at a small, rural bar having a peaceful post-work drink. A stranger hit on me then offered to buy my next round. I politely told him thanks, I'm flattered, but I have a boyfriend. Stranger replied without skipping a beat, "Yeah, well, he's not here." Yeah, well, I'm not polite anymore. Get the fuck AWAY from me, dude. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 11:14 PM |
| 10 | Acquaintances reveal on FB that husband cheated on her, got caught, cheated again, got the other woman pregnant, & they're staying together. Here is his post vs. hers.Girl for updates my spirit is willing but every time I think about it the YIKES is so strong idk if I can continue to follow her profile 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:47 PM |
| 18 | Acquaintances reveal on FB that husband cheated on her, got caught, cheated again, got the other woman pregnant, & they're staying together. Here is his post vs. hers.She's an elementary school teacher and they already have three kids less than 5 years old. I def don't think they've got cover up money. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:44 PM |
| 31 | Acquaintances reveal on FB that husband cheated on her, got caught, cheated again, got the other woman pregnant, & they're staying together. Here is his post vs. hers.I hope she gets tf out before these crazy people snatch up her baby! It is absolutely unconscionable that she repeatedly slept with a married man, but... that man's wife is now posting pictures of YOUR ultrasound as if she is pregnant with their 4th child??? RUN, SIS. RUN. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:27 PM |
| 27 | Acquaintances reveal on FB that husband cheated on her, got caught, cheated again, got the other woman pregnant, & they're staying together. Here is his post vs. hers.I can find no trace of the mistress anywhere. The wife is not correcting any of the hundreds of comments from people claiming that they suspected she was pregnant even though she isn't (oof lmao). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:25 PM |
| 20 | Acquaintances reveal on FB that husband cheated on her, got caught, cheated again, got the other woman pregnant, & they're staying together. Here is his post vs. hers.They already have 3 children. She just recently posted a photo of their children plus an ultrasound photo announcing a March 2021 due date. I thought, "Did she seriously have him knock her up so she and the other woman could have dueling babies?" I checked the dates. The cheating post is 9 months from the due date. She posted a picture of the other woman's ultrasound. She is not correcting anyone in the comments saying they knew she "looks pregnant" even though she isn't pregnant and it is anoth… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:22 PM |
| 62 | Acquaintances reveal on FB that husband cheated on her, got caught, cheated again, got the other woman pregnant, & they're staying together. Here is his post vs. hers.It is I N S A N E and I cannot handle the CRINGE or that this is real life or that they're choosing to post about it. I mentioned it in the deleted improperly censored thread, but he must have untagged himself from the original ultrasound photo. I can find 0 mention of who the affair partner is anywhere. It is seriously Handmaid's Tale vibes like they're going to try to absorb this baby into their "happy Christian family" or something. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:15 PM |
| 59 | Acquaintances reveal on FB that husband cheated on her, got caught, cheated again, got the other woman pregnant, & they're staying together. Here is his post vs. hers.Is addition to the "support ME," what also stood out to me is his repeated use of the passive voice. "The affair continued" vs. "I continued cheating," and resulted in pregnancy vs. I got my affair partner pregnant. I also loooove that his post includes two huge beginning paragraphs about how much their marriage sucked and they are both at fault. Definitely not trying to imply any sort of justification there. Nope. Just mentioning it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:07 PM |
| 140 | Acquaintances reveal on FB that husband cheated on her, got caught, cheated again, got the other woman pregnant, & they're staying together. Here is his post vs. hers.Reposted bc I improperly censored the first time. *This post should be the TOP search result for "my boyfriend/husband cheated, but he's really sorry and says he'll never do it again. Should I forgive him?" * BONUS: She recently posted "Shut the front door..... there’s going to be 4! 👶 March 2021 👶" including pics of the 3 kids from her marriage and the (untagged and unmentioned) affair partner's ultrasound. People are obliviously commenting "omg I knew you were pregnant!!! I could tell!!!" The … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 02:59 PM |
| 2 | Acquaintances reveal on FB that her husband cheated on her, got caught, cheated again, & got the woman pregnant. Here is his post about it vs. hers.By the time I saw the posts he must have untagged himself from the ultrasound announcement. I don't think their Handmaid is gonna get any mention in all of this. She's not correcting the people who are gushing about how they could "just tell" she's "pregnant" 🙃 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 02:47 PM |
| 2 | Acquaintances reveal on FB that her husband cheated on her, got caught, cheated again, & got the woman pregnant. Here is his post about it vs. hers.Shit thanks | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 02:34 PM |
| 11 | In this episode of “which kind of maid am I today?” we’re hair-cutting maids.That's a porn move. He was trying to achieve porn. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 11:23 PM |
| 3 | LVM only say this when they are looking for an ego boost from Barbara the Builder/Therapist Theresa. Don't fall for it! Remember: the only person who can save him is himselfWe learn and we grow. Try not to beat yourself up over it, you can't change what happened. I realize now I should have never been in a situation for that to happen to me in the first place. An even younger me would have forgiven him and stayed. I feel like walking out that night was the very beginning of me finally growing a spine! Instead of regret, recognizing the mistakes we've made deserves celebrating. We're becoming healthier, stronger women. ❤ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 06:46 PM |
| 11 | LVM only say this when they are looking for an ego boost from Barbara the Builder/Therapist Theresa. Don't fall for it! Remember: the only person who can save him is himselfI had a dude answer a phone call from his ex. At 2am. As we both slept in his bed after sex. He said she was upset and had mental health issues. I was like, cool, good luck with that, and walked my ass right on home. Never spoke to him again. How fucking disrespectful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 06:23 PM |
| 19 | Don’t think you can ‘make’ a man love and appreciate you- it’s all down to himI supported his dream so hard. Or the dream he pretended he had, anyway. Oof, this hits so hard. I once saved up $1k to surprise my ex with an EMT course, as he always talked about his dream of being a paramedic. He said it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him and cried. A couple months later class orientation rolled around and he insisted I go with him to it (???), asked me if I wanted to do it with him (????????), and then decided not to do it because it would be "too hard to atte… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 12:33 PM |
| 119 | From "The Gift of Fear" - FDS advice is bitchy and RIGHTAnother great quote from the same book: "We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning. Like rapport-building, charm and the deceptive smile, unsolicited niceness often has a discoverable motive." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 12:39 AM |
| 2 | The Abusive Man in ArgumentsI'm so sorry this happened to you. 💜 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 07:57 PM |
| 9 | The Abusive Man in ArgumentsGood luck and stay safe! If you see a lot of your marriage in this book, please keep in mind that your partner may try to interfere with or sabotage your therapy appointments or punish you for attending therapy. Please consider safely reaching out to your local domestic violence organization for help creating a safety plan and for emotional support as you process your situation and decide what's best for you. 💜 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 07:56 PM |
| 23 | The Abusive Man in ArgumentsI agree, that story is also incredibly insightful and stood out to me so I've copied the whole thing here. It's under the chapter The Abusive Man as Parent. It covers a wide variety of abusive tactics and family dynamics, including encouraging the kids to disrespect and degrade their mother and sexualizing his daughter as a "joke." Big trigger warning for this one too. IT’S SATURDAY AFTERNOON, and excitement is high in the Turner family. Randy, who is eleven, and his big sister, Alex, thirteen, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 07:37 PM |
| 10 | Always about them 🙄🙄🙄No problem. It's deliberately really murky territory due to the prevalence of a sort of "male entitlement" mindset, so we're all conditioned to different degrees to not see it. Keep in mind that abusive relationships are a completely different beast from non-abusive relationships. A woman hitting a guy in an abusive relationship is a completely different context from a (previously) non-abusive one. It's all about examining closely for any power and control tactics on display. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 05:27 PM |
| 84 | Always about them 🙄🙄🙄Excellent addition, thank you for this study! This literally reduces down to a male mindset of "she tried to hold me accountable for my words and actions and that's ACTUALLY abuse :(:(:( When my needs aren't front and center or she's not constantly accommodating me, it's like attempted murder of my feelings :(:(:(" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 05:23 PM |
| 36 | The Abusive Man in ArgumentsI'm really sorry that happened to you. The red flags can become super clear in retrospect, but don't beat yourself up over not recognizing them in the moment because they are tactics used specifically to make you confused and uncertain of yourself. 💜 I always use this Jesse & Bea script example when training law enforcement or judges on the greater context of abuse. For example, what if officers showed up at this scene responding to a DV noise complaint on Jesse & Bea? The victim will try to exp… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 05:20 PM |
| 5 | The Abusive Man in ArgumentsThanks, I ditzed a little there! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 05:06 PM |
| 32 | The Abusive Man in ArgumentsIt should be required reading for women in high school tbh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 05:00 PM |
| 14 | Always about them 🙄🙄🙄don't act like girls burning clothes because he cheated, or slapping him on the arm and yelling and screaming is acceptable, because its not. Lol who is saying this is acceptable We're discussing men who straight up beat and threaten to murder women so those women are forced to flee and hide in shelters and you're out here going to bat for some imaginary dude's possessions and asking why abuse victims "don't just leave" Yeah peace out and ghost him if he can't plan a date or cheats on you but ab… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 04:55 PM |
| 20 | Always about them 🙄🙄🙄I have been there, and although I've never hit anyone, I have certainly lashed out, been embarrassed by my actions and learned that it is not behavior that should be excused or taken lightly. There's a short article by Bancroft here related to this, "Am I the Abusive One?". I think this is a decent metric to figure out if "lashing out" was abusive or just a non-abusive but potentially unhealthy expression of anger or self-defense. The problem is people classify any angry response as abuse (or th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 04:45 PM |
| 3 | The Abusive Man in ArgumentsCan you elaborate? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 04:35 PM |
| 42 | The Abusive Man in ArgumentsGodddd where was this sub two years ago when my ex-fiancé either tried to tag along or sulked around the entire evening when I'd go out with friends or try to do something without him 😂 And he would try so hard not to seem like he was moping because he must have known it was wrong and insecure, but it was so obvious. I literally almost married someone who I had to repeatedly encourage to find and make plans with friends so we could, like, maybe be separate human beings sometimes? 🤦♀️ I am so gl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 04:33 PM |
| 40 | Always about them 🙄🙄🙄Generally, male victims of domestic violence are more likely to empathize with female victims and acknowledge the disparity in gendered violence, rather than run around screeching "not all men" any time someone mentions women's shelters. It's also similar for sexual assault. The vast majority of male sexual assault victims were assaulted by other men, and the unique trauma-informed care & support they need to receive advocates for the exact same destruction of patriarchical norms as women's righ… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 04:16 PM |
| 68 | The Abusive Man in ArgumentsFor discussion, I'll start: Therapists often try to work with an abuser by analyzing his responses to disagreements and trying to get him to handle conflicts differently. But such an approach misses the point: His abusiveness was what caused the tension to begin with. Reminds me distinctly of the Pickmeisha mantra BuT hAvE yOu tRiEd tO cOmMuNiCaTe??? Even for non-abusive men, if you have expressed your wants & needs and they're still being ignored, there is no way for you to convince someone to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 04:05 PM |
| 264 | Always about them 🙄🙄🙄Whenever Fragile Male Redditors respond to any DV post with "what about all the male victims???" Completely ignoring the fact that men are most likely to experience violence at the hands of other men, I'm always reminded of this quote from Lundy Bancroft's book Why Does He Do That? (emphasis mine): MYTH #14: There are just as many abusive women as abusive men. Abused men are invisible because they are ashamed to tell. There certainly are some women who treat their male partners badly, berating t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 02:34 PM |
| 20 | If a guy confirms a date the day of do you cancel?This isn't build-a-scrote workshop, women are not here to train or foster men into being better partners... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/20 11:43 PM |
| 11 | MEN ARE SCAMMING CRISIS HOTLINES TO MASTURBATE ON CALLSI got out of that field a year ago because of the burnout. It wasn't case content or volume but just how difficult it is to deal with vicarious trauma on top of petty office politics bullshit. I can do one or the other, not both. I can't even imagine what your work life must be like now with the added stresses of Covid. Thank you for what you do and take care of yourself, sis! You are fighting the good fight. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 02:10 AM |
| 15 | MEN ARE SCAMMING CRISIS HOTLINES TO MASTURBATE ON CALLSI've had an angry restraining order respondent call in then show up at my office door. Terrifying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 01:57 AM |
| 8 | MEN ARE SCAMMING CRISIS HOTLINES TO MASTURBATE ON CALLShow is it not illegal? Can’t people be charged for calling 911 with false or non-emergencies be fined? These crisis hotlines aren't 911 or considered emergency services, but are run by community nonprofits (usually predominantly staffed by volunteers). They could be fined or charged with sexual harassment or something similar, but that's where it gets complicated: It’s an intractable issue for which simplistic solutions like collecting data on callers and reporting sexual callers to the authorit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 01:40 AM |
| 40 | MEN ARE SCAMMING CRISIS HOTLINES TO MASTURBATE ON CALLSMasturbating callers are a longstanding problem for crisis hotlines. Even in 1977, Rosenbaum and Calhoun reported that “the masturbating caller (usually a chronic caller who tries to contact a female counselor and masturbates to the sound of her voice) [is a] major problem for most hotlines.” Claire had a sinking sense that something was wrong, and was vindicated when another volunteer at the hotline told Claire that she received “functionally the same call” from this man: He was masturbating to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 01:19 AM |
| 5 | When someone shows you who they really are, believe them ✌Y'know, I genuinely don't think he did. He was insecure and anxious, which made him codependent and controlling. I urged him throughout our entire relationship to go see a therapist, and he didn't-- until after I ended our engagement. We were at a doctor's appt for a health issue of his once, and the doctor asked, "How do you manage your stress?" He pointed to me and said, "Well, I have her." End of list. Doctor made sustained eye contact with me like Blink twice if you need help. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/20 01:58 PM |
| 42 | When someone shows you who they really are, believe them ✌Story time: I applied for and received a scholarship through the statewide org for my job to attend a national conference in my field, including airfare as it was across the border in a neighboring state. I came home super excited and told my (now ex) fiancé the good news. He congratulated me but his mood deteriorated over the course of the evening. We were later discussing my possible transportation options to the airport 3 hours away, and somehow the conversation completely devolved into an ar… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/20 03:52 AM |
| 5 | I live in Boston and this guy matched with me and messaged me who lives in Maine. He mentioned taking me out for dinner and drinks then mentioned this. I live in the city and don’t drive. Was he really expecting me to somehow meet him halfway?📜 Petition to make "this ain't Grub hub" a catchphrase on par with "this ain't build a bitch" 👏 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/20 12:14 AM |
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