boxofchocolatenow Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	Child care costs (summer camps)? I hope you have language about college cost. That is a big fight. These lawyers need to be reprimanded. Literal leech on an unfair system.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/02/22 02:15 AM
1	I feel horrible that she is going to suffer after divorce, and that I care.. [venting / long] I will venture to say that she is where she is today because of you. You supported her and catered to her for so long that she did not have to fight for herself. So she indulged and let herself go because you allowed it, and then she feels entitled. Her health and happiness is her own. You should not be shouldering it for her and it is not a mark of a healthy relationship. Maybe this will spur her on to fight for herself, lose weight and gain her self confidence back. It is not your responsibili…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/02/22 02:10 AM
1	Does “The woman you marry is not the same woman you divorce” ring true for you? Absolutely true. Do not even doubt it. Absolutely true. Things might change later, but during the divorce, the fangs and devil horns come out.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/02/22 02:01 AM
1	Child support/custody You are getting screwed here. Get a lawyer asap. She is using you guys get along great to ring money out of you. It might not be a big deal now, but I have seen dads living apt to apt because they were playing nice. Protect yourself.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/02/22 01:59 AM
3	Child care costs (summer camps)? Not sure what is in your divorce decree exactly. But it is unfair for her to unilaterally sign kids up and have you pay for it. You can always do the same on your end and make her pay up. Best to ask lawyer, or get a mediator to help with these issues. These issues would not come up if there weren’t so many lousy lawyers who run around with shoddy work.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/02/22 01:55 AM
3	How effed is my friend who married a sugar baby? It will be a short term alimony. The longer he drags this out, the more money he has to pay. She will fight till the end. He should he prepared to give more than he should to get her to shoo. Time is of essence. Tell your friend to get that pitbull lawyer and file asap. Cannot stress enough, the longer he drags this out, the more he will lose. She will claim abuse and he is screwed.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/02/22 01:49 AM
4	WTF is wrong with me? First of all, you have to give up on this relationship. She has lost respect for you and for any relationship, that is a death nail. She lost respect for you the minute you allow her back after cheating on you. Thus led to the friend statement. And then you allowed her to have an open relationship. Before you even work on yourself, toughen up and cut her off. No matter how much she begs, you are done. Second, get paternity tests and lawyer up. It will get ugly. She lacks morality and respect for…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/02/22 01:47 AM
1	Will 2nd Job Increase My Child Support and Alimony? Best to consult your lawyer. Technically, what you make after you file is yours to keep. However, in mediation, it could go in many directions. She might ask to include it and you will have to decide if it is a worthy trade off. I would wait at least till the first mediation to see how it goes.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/21 04:43 PM
4	I keep ideallizing my marriage and STBX as something it never really was. No good solution. I am not a big proponent of forcing the issue and think about what “I” did wrong. My personal opinion is, its best to make life as easy for you as possible now. You can reflect after the divorce is done and you have had some time to heal. Personally, reflection brings pain, and that is not what you need right now. There will be plenty of time to do that. Definitely do not date right after. You need time when you are truly alone to reflect. The best way to get over it, is to not…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/21 04:36 PM
4	Can’t pull the trigger on filing for divorce Every divorcing woman pulls the same crap. They think they are judge, jury and executioner. She can push all she wants but it starts with 50/50. 1 bedroom is fine. Unless it is in a bad neighborhood with rat infested basement. Without working, where does she get off by saying she can handle two kids without giving you equal visitation?	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/21 12:43 AM
1	Settlement Meeting Not much to add, the list above is very comprehensive. Just that there are usually 2-3 sticking points. Don’t waste time on things that are clear cut. Remember, every sec ticks by, is 3x the cost. Your lawyer, her lawyer and the mediator.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/09/21 05:47 PM
15	Fear of marriage destroying relationship She is a good person now. Inevitably, she won’t be in a divorce. They never are.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/09/21 02:05 AM
1	Fear of marriage destroying relationship Yes- it was the right choice for you. She does not want to compromise on your needs and you wouldn’t hers. Marriage is a heads she wins and tails you lose situation. If women wants to lobby their local jurisdiction to rewrite marital laws to be fair to both gender, then sure. Otherwise - it is something that men should seriously think about. Hopefully more men will make similar decisions and force politicians to come to the table to rewrite laws, otherwise, all men should stand in solidarity to …	/r/Divorce_Men	27/09/21 02:03 AM
2	Help I am lost David - you are already an amazing man for 4 people. A woman married someone and moved to Spain. That woman could be a stranger in the store, the mall, etc. She is a stranger. Your wife whom you loved and married had died. She is no longer of this world. Allow yourself to grief that fact. Fact - you have four amazing people depending on you. That is a blessing. Fantasy - you are giving love to someone who no longer exists. You can get out bed and put one foot in front of the other. If you are up…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/21 05:12 AM
1	Advice on looking divorce She is dragging it out until she can gather the courage and resource to leave you. Her actions told you that much. Removing the emotion, which I know is hard, you should “strike” now. Get a lawyer and handle it now. The longer you wait, the more alimony you pay. Custody starts at 50/50. Collect evidence of the medication she is taking, or reports you have and then fight for more than 50%, if she is an incompetent mom (or you can prove she is). Move with stealth with your lawyer’s help and then s…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/21 03:48 AM
1	The depression is so bad I’m struggling to survive. Hang in there! If I might venture to say while you feel depressed, it is actually pain from betrayal. The woman you are divorcing is not the same woman you marry. While man stay the same for the most part, its the woman who changes. It is a survival instinct that they inherently have, while Men worry about the practicality of survival like money, providing etc. Every divorcing man thinks and goes through same doubts, fear, anger. Just remember that she is no longer the woman you married and your…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/21 03:29 AM
4	In case of a divorce, what happens to assets accumulated before the marriage? Pre nup is not as useful as keeping accounts separate. Do not use your pre marital accounts to pay for any joint/household expenses. As in life, you are entering into a different life stage. Keep your finances that way. I am also not sure if pre nup is the best way to go, it certainly is an uncomfortable conversation. The best way is to spend a little and consult a lawyer given your net worth to protect you wealth. Don’t make the mistakes most men made. If it comes down to a divorce in the futur…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/09/21 04:27 AM