TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

brahmidia Archive

View 2 posts and 153 comments by brahmidia on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

Reducing humans, the most complex life forms on the planet, to "biological hardwiring" is extremely reductive and logically fraught. Out of billions of humans, you might possibly be able to say that a decent chunk behave a certain way, but that will still exclude other billions of people who don't, and "hardwiring" implies a lack of choice and social context and training. However science shows us increasingly that even "hardwired" behaviors like birds' migration paths, etc, are more flexible and…
/r/ExRedPill21/03/25 05:37 PM
5

It serves their weird philosophy to believe it doesn't exist. Who knows why. I'm sure that defeatism and believing everything is a hopeless zero-sum game helps the mentality.
/r/ExRedPill07/03/25 07:32 AM
8

Incidentally, a lot of my relationship, life, and mental health (not to mention toxic behavior in my relationship, even from my partner not just from me) got 10x better when I started doing zen meditation with a real group and learned, basically, how to be okay with "just being." (Or "just sitting" as zen practitioners say.) Being able to stay in control with discomfort, or being able to find joy in your current situation even if it's not perfect, or being able to fully exist in the present real…
/r/ExRedPill06/03/25 05:27 PM
13

There's plenty of stereotypes that I'm sure someone could go through life believing and living and deciding was 100% true based on their experience. But there's just as many other possibilities, and other people, and surprises. Approaching life with such a reductive worldview, as if checking certain boxes guarantees you a certain life, is itself a huge problem for many reasons one being that you've narrowed your perspective and thus will be blind to so much, and pre-judging. Watch Ted Lasso. Get…
/r/ExRedPill06/03/25 08:54 AM
6

Make friends who are women. Keep it totally platonic, don't worry about their looks just value them the same as you would value any other human in your life, maybe play board games or go to local meetups or book clubs or whatever. Listen 10x more than you talk. Soon you'll see them as complex humans instead of stereotypes. Any time someone tells you what to believe about others, be skeptical. People can speak for themselves and are hard to stereotype accurately. We all contain multitudes.
/r/ExRedPill06/03/25 02:06 AM
4

And, ultimately, especially with the help of his therapist, remember that there's actually nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about: everyone struggles to be healthy especially in America -- especially mentally healthy! -- and shouldering that struggle is honorable, not shameful. The only shame would be in letting insecurity eat away at us so fully that we die never having tried again. Every single time we pick up and try to be our best selves again, we're already winning, no matter what any i…
/r/ExRedPill23/02/25 03:21 AM
10

I had another thought just now going into the grocery store: give love to receive love. I mentioned showing love to yourself but try saying one extra positive thing to someone you come across in your life each week. No need to be creepy, it can be towards a man or an old lady and it shouldn't be about their appearance other than some choice they made that day like clothes or earrings or hairstyle or vehicle or whatever, but injecting the positivity into the world that you so desperately need you…
/r/ExRedPill23/02/25 02:05 AM
6

I can think of multiple virtues that are facts just based off what you've said so far. You're trying to improve your life. You don't want to exhibit these negative reactive behaviors. You're asking for help. You have said you have an explicitly open mind. Instead of asking for help in a toxic place full of misogyny, you're asking for help in a place that is a little more healthy and supportive. You're not immediately arguing with everybody who responds.
/r/ExRedPill23/02/25 01:45 AM
5

I mentioned meditation or mindfulness in another comment below, but want to comment here as well to agree: this is a scientific and valid way of helping with these intrusive thoughts. One way I helped myself was with closing my eyes and relaxing my mind and observing the thoughts that pop up as if they're leaves floating on a stream past me. I'm not that thought and I might not even be having that thought, it's just a thing popping up in my brainstem that I can pay attention to or not. I approac…
/r/ExRedPill23/02/25 01:41 AM
14

On top of others' suggestions to make friends, even if it's as simple as playing Words With Friends with strangers, I think your therapist will agree with two other recommendations: I want you to write a positive affirmation about yourself and stick it on your bathroom mirror, maybe "I am trying my best" or "I have kind eyes" or "I like clean clothes" or literally anything positive and directed at you, I don't care if it seems silly. Secondly, I want you to prioritize taking care of yourself in …
/r/ExRedPill23/02/25 01:27 AM
4

When your mind goes into these places that even you recognize aren't helpful or realistic, learn techniques to direct your thoughts elsewhere. Reacting strongly against the presence of someone who's not hateful or antagonistic, just nice looking, and then reacting strongly against yourself for doing so, feeds the same cycles of self-loathing that you're trying to avoid by taking care of yourself! It's hard -- maybe one of the most difficult journeys of your life -- but it's just as core to your …
/r/ExRedPill23/02/25 01:13 AM
10

Short version: Tinder and most online dating is awful and reinforces bad ideas about others. It's even awful for women, because the crop of guys on there is pretty garbage. Go ahead and be the most authentic (but also most kind and trustworthy and communicative) version of yourself! And then go out in public in ways where you might have a chance of saying hi to a stranger, maybe making some new platonic friends. Bars are obviously the typical answer but cafes and trivia nights and volunteering a…
/r/ExRedPill22/02/25 06:10 PM
17

Look up "consent is like tea." If you're freely giving someone positive attention or anything else, it has to be a gift freely given with no strings attached. Nobody wants to feel like they owe you something just because they acquiesced to your advances, that's weird and sucks. The r/WhenWomenRefuse link is a good one to check as well: not all attention is positive, a lot of it is unwanted.
/r/ExRedPill13/02/25 05:47 AM
3

Sorry you're correct I was misinformed. In any case it's pretty rare that a polygamist doesn't have a gendered hierarchy where one partner gets freedom and the other gets indentured. The non-hierarchical "free love with safety and communication" ethos is relatively new and tends to go by other names.
/r/ExRedPill12/06/23 03:49 PM
0

There's many many ways to have messed up abusive relationships for sure, the core question I as a polyamorous person would ask a monogamous person is, "do you think you own your partner? Do you want them to be happy even if you're not involved in a particular activity?" -- if you're not very controlling then you probably actually agree with the basic principles of polyamory and the real question is insecurity, dependencies, power and privilege differences, STDs and babies, spending enough time t…
/r/ExRedPill12/06/23 02:10 PM
2

Edit: I'm wrong That is polygamy, polygamy literally means multiple women (per man.) You may be thinking of polyamory which is the ability for anyone to love multiple people on equal terms
/r/ExRedPill12/06/23 01:49 PM
3

Fact check, polygamy is multiple women per man only, polyandry is multiple men per woman only, often with strict hierarchies that are themselves the big problem. The rest is accurate though, as you said the big difference being if everyone is actually free to enter into or leave relationships as they see fit without coercion or power differences
/r/ExRedPill12/06/23 01:48 PM
4

There are some valid reasons to practice polyamory which is when you try to ethically allow everyone to love whoever they want while also communicating up front what your boundaries or needs or concerns are and being honest and transparent. Having a sense of community or extended family for example is a popular feeling in that group beyond the unattached "swinger" lifestyle that deprioritizes commitments. But, plenty of shitty people use these terms as a mask to justify their desire for multiple…
/r/ExRedPill12/06/23 01:35 PM
6

Again, it seems like you're calling anything that you dislike "leftist" and things you like conservative-to-moderate without really recognizing that painting a giant group of people as having mental illness or "just" saying common sense things that get you accused of misogyny or pretending like "the right" takes responsibility for their actions more than others... shows your bias to an extreme degree. You're not understanding how your words and actions are being perceived and you're viewing ever…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/23 07:31 PM
9

Again, if you think leftism is close to conservatism because it's claiming to be more moral, you have a lot to learn. Most of your words are just rambling I can't pick out half of what you're trying to say.
/r/ExRedPill09/06/23 03:35 PM
9

You have some really weird skewed ideas about what leftism is. So far it sounds like your definition is "people I don't like" and you haven't actually read much or talked much to people who would call themselves leftists.
/r/ExRedPill09/06/23 03:12 PM
10

I'm not sure what you think the far left is but communists aren't really well known for taking words out of context and attacking the resulting strawmen. Communists love theory and intellectual debate that's how they can stand to read a German philosopher from a hundred years ago. You're describing cherry picking and strawmanning which is an anti-intellectual arguing style. It's more common with shitty centrist and right-leaning political types, or overly-heated activists and other overly argume…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/23 02:49 PM
3

I'm also 5'7" and not only do plenty of women on dating apps say "must be taller than me" sometimes even adding "in heels" but also I matched with someone really cool (still acquaintances) who offhandedly said that she wasn't attracted to me due to being shorter than her at 5'8" reminded her of being in middle school. She was allegedly confused as to why we didn't end up dating. Because you said you weren't attracted to me on like the first date, lady! That said, if someone is that superficial t…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/23 02:41 PM
3

It may help to look at mindfulness, self affirmations, grounding and centering exercises. Basically get away from outside influence and be yourself free of intrusive thoughts. It's easy for depression to take hold of us and taint our thoughts, but in fact we can sit in a grassy lawn and consider that one blade of grass and our breath and the sun are more real in that moment than the lies which are made up to make us feel bad and subjugate ourselves to smallminded assholes. When we're smart and a…
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 08:32 PM
1

The weird thing to me is how strongly sexual harassment is linked with mental illness and cognitive impairment. It's as though if someone's higher faculties aren't operating fully, they're operating on pure desire or instinct, and might lash out at those different from them or display stalkerish/handsy/inappropriate behavior. As you said, people really don't talk enough about the old men, homeless people, and other less-able-minded people who are like landmines that average women have to navigat…
/r/ExRedPill25/02/21 06:14 AM
1

I think you think that you're super right, and maybe in your experience you're convinced you're right, but I think you need to open your ears and close your mouth for just long enough to consider the other 1% of times you're not considering heavily enough. I'm giving you a perspective you (and most men, including myself until I heard it from my girlfriend) are probably completely unaware of. Paying attention to it and giving it due weight can benefit you greatly, because this is the kind of info…
/r/ExRedPill23/02/21 01:16 AM
12

Just be aware that a big reason women don't vocalize their problems, especially to men, especially to romantically interested men, is that they've experienced harassment, verbal abuse, or violence for speaking up. The safest thing as a woman in the world is often to either shut up and take it, or remove themselves from the situation. This is also a big reason why women wear headphones at work or in public: they've been bugged enough by insane violent misogynist homeless people (or their bobviati…
/r/ExRedPill20/02/21 02:41 AM
2

That's also fine. Just allow for the possibility that they actually intend to cut off contact and that further contact will be perceived as harassing.
/r/ExRedPill20/02/21 02:34 AM
33

Only in the colloquial/Matrix sense that people's eyes have been opened to the depressing reality that the system exists to keep them oppressed. Not really the "I'm a nerdy loner therefore obviously there's a big feminist conspiracy to deny me sex" relationship pickup artist sense.
/r/ExRedPill30/01/21 05:59 AM
1

One comment about Men Are From Mars: take it with a grain of salt. Not that men don't need to hear it, we do, we need to learn how to speak and listen emotionally. But more like be aware this is somewhat of a socially-engrained phenomenon and also not consistent between all men or all women. It's a metaphor, we're not actually that different and our differences aren't that genetic. But yes, generally, men in patriarchal societies are lacking in emotional availability and need training in it. And…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 07:44 AM
1

Basically you can't sit there trying to keep track or make it roughly equal because it just never will be. My wife might go through years of depression and struggling with sexist assholes at her job, and maybe years from now I'm chronically ill and need a lot of help. You can't worry about such things on a week to week scale. What you can do is look within yourself for your capacity to give (it's ok to not be in a good spot for a relationship right now, or be clear about what you're able to give…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 07:22 AM
14

Shortest answer: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ -- in other words getting upset about not doing it ruins the whole basis for either of you wanting to do it. Even though it might understandably be disappointing. Go to therapy, participate in some sort of group therapy/support group, or read therapy-style resources about sex, intimacy, relationships, rejection-sensitive dysphoria, and childhood trauma. Examine your history and beliefs about rejection and self worth. These negative belie…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/21 07:48 AM
2

Absolutely, I agree with all of the above.
/r/ExRedPill21/01/21 05:26 AM
16

Yeap, I wish more people -- women and men -- knew this. Don't be codependent. Every woman should be able to reach tall objects and change her oil without a man. Every man should be able to iron clothes and cook dinner without a woman. The only people who benefit from learned helplessness are assholes who want to sell us a band-aid. Your future partners will thank you for not relying on them to open jars or trim your hair. A healthy partnership is when two independent people choose to come togeth…
/r/ExRedPill21/01/21 12:21 AM
1

If you're black, that could also add to the whole negative male predator social stereotype. I'm sorry all that nonsense got to your head! It sounds like you're on the path to untangling all that BS.
/r/ExRedPill15/01/21 05:25 AM
1

Sounds like church might've made you feel like a monster! Repressed sexuality is a method of control of authoritarian societies.
/r/ExRedPill14/01/21 09:30 PM
2

It's definitely a negative stereotype about men that gets internalized easily. But it's not true, and it's not true for you, and honestly what society and popular culture tell us we "should" be is mostly BS. Be a good person, lead a balanced life that tries to help not hurt others, and don't care too much what stereotypes tell you. For just one other example look up "the relationship escalator." It's a script engrained in many of us that has us "keeping up with the Joneses" instead of doing what…
/r/ExRedPill14/01/21 05:26 PM
15

Yeah EvoPsych as it relates to anything your average incel cares about is approximately as valid as phrenology. Sure you might be taking measurements and making hypotheses and doing experiments, but in the end you've gotta be reeeeeally humble and skeptical and do your best to disprove your theories with evidence... and most practitioners seem to instead find some pet theory like "do women like wine more than beer because they're genetically predisposed to housework instead of hunting?" and fill…
/r/ExRedPill11/01/21 11:39 AM
9

On one hand it's great to just forget about dating and have positive close friendships with people of all ages and genders. That's often when you meet the partner of your dreams because you're just living your best life without the artificial pressure of dating. But yeah the whole incel movement and ideology has morphed into sexism as a cult and it's really damaging.
/r/ExRedPill08/01/21 03:59 AM
9

I'd still go with reason-based because the fundamental activity is logicking your way into things. COVID mask/vaccine/lockdown conspiracists use plenty of logic, the problem is that it's faulty logic and reasoning. As previously said, the reasoning needs to be based in evidence and testing, not just what sounds right or good, or what feels good. And conclusions have to follow from evidence not feeling. But it's still (faulty) "reasoning." Emotion-based to me would be like "I hate that, screw you…
/r/ExRedPill23/12/20 03:56 AM
2

Yep. If you're not giving first, receiving second, it's not love. If you give and give and never receive that's worth talking about -- it happens -- but you need to start with compassion, generosity, sensitivity and love as a first step or the whole thing falls apart. Related: every man and woman needs to read The Five Love Languages. It's a short, no-nonsense, practical guide to the various different ways we show and receive love (whether or not there's actually 5, who cares.) To be complete hu…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/20 10:05 PM
6

Three things people need to know about relationships: it's a partnership. If you're not going into it as a team who has each other's back above all -- even sometimes above your own -- the partnership is going to suffer. bringing politics and big ideas about morality into it will mostly cause pain. Obviously feminism taught us that treating women as equals is good and abuse is bad, and obviously if we want to follow the bible or be polyamorous that's going to bring some moral choices into the sit…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/20 08:17 AM
7

Ehhhh I'd encourage you to make a catfishing account (that you delete if you actually get results) and see what happens if your "ugly" female account gets swipes AND tries to engage a man in normal dating site conversation. I definitely learned a lot about myself the first time an "unattractive" woman gave me attention I didn't want. I think humans are really bad at predicting how they'll feel or act in situations they have limited experience in.
/r/ExRedPill22/12/20 05:46 AM
8

Yeah but will they actually go on a date with / seek a relationship with / communicate decently with the bottom half of their picks if they get a match? Swiping right is not the same thing as relationship standards. The people on Tinder are not representative of the overall population.
/r/ExRedPill22/12/20 04:37 AM
12

I have yet to find a man who literally has no standards and yet still can't get a date. Maybe if he was majorly handicapped with no family to the point where any human attention or touch would be welcome, but that's not your typical "I'm socially awkward therefore I have to take it out on women" incel. What I find far far far more often is that they act like they have no standards, yet any woman not visually attractive enough to grace a magazine cover appears as an asexual robot or cretin to the…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/20 03:47 AM
4

It should be okay for you to let him know that you got a bit too far into it but realized it's toxic. That can help you communicate and understand each other if these sorts of issues ever arise and cause conflict in your relationship.
/r/ExRedPill21/12/20 07:21 AM
6

Here's a perspective from the other side: I don't care at all whether my wife has been with one other person or two dozen. Turns out she's been with one or two, but I didn't really ever ask and don't really care. I myself have been with a dozen or so, which she finds intimidating but overall isn't a big deal to me or ultimately to our relationship. Mature modern people are able to love each other without holding their (relatively innocent) past over their head. If anyone gives you a hard time, l…
/r/ExRedPill21/12/20 07:17 AM
3

Dunning-Kreuger: when you're too incompetent to objectively evaluate yourself and realize that you're incompetent.
/r/ExRedPill16/11/20 08:47 PM
2

Good point. In Soviet Incel, you still be assigned a wife. According to the laws of statistics, she will probably be 165 pounds, two inches shorter than you, and likely have trauma from an alcoholic abusive father that causes distress and outbursts. You will work and provide for her until the end of your days and she will not love you for it, merely cook and clean. Is efficient equal authoritarian system that certainly won't collapse when people are tired of being dictated to!
/r/ExRedPill14/11/20 07:08 AM
3

Yeah don't put anyone on a pedestal like that, they're not worth it and you're just shooting yourself in the foot. Try reading books and watching movies that women like, try talking to older women in basic ways. Try having hobbies and jobs that have you naturally interacting with a diversity of people. There are ways of demystifying others but the more you build it up the more you're just sabotaging yourself.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/20 01:48 AM
8

We're all stressed the fuck out and depressed, even the married / dating ones.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/20 08:17 AM
5

I'm average-looking (typical techbro/nerd) and I also went on an online dating spree for awhile. I can confirm everything said here: the fixation on sex and dating might be the most visible and painful thing that a person might want but it's masking the need for friendships, socializing, self-care, psychological work, and a balanced lifestyle that likely underpin it. The core problem isn't that women don't like certain types of men -- all types of women like all types of men -- it's that our soc…
/r/ExRedPill06/08/20 06:15 PM
4

While this is true, the things most people hyperfocus on negatively about themselves -- weight, hair, and other things that TV ads tell you you need to buy a product to "fix" -- are actually not what a loving partner would care about. There was a time in my life where I thought "I'm not going to date anyone over XX pounds" or "my dream girl is a programmer like me or at least a gamer" for whatever reason, and then I went on a bunch of online dates... and realized that everyone's got issues. Nobo…
/r/ExRedPill06/08/20 05:40 PM
14

Go ahead and go out of your way to be nice to people. That's called being a decent human. Just don't expect people to want you in their pants just because you were decent to them. If you just go out and be a decent person and make friends and hang out, eventually you'll have a bunch of friends and a few people might be into you. But if you're approaching every interaction with "hmm, how can I swing this into sex" you get an unmistakable smell to you that others pick up on a mile away.
/r/ExRedPill03/08/20 04:22 AM
3

In any case it's probably worth realizing why you saying that probably made her feel shitty, and apologizing privately. Our conscience might take time to catch up with us but it's rarely too late to say something even if they don't react as well as you'd like.
/r/ExRedPill03/07/20 08:49 AM
11

The bits you've quoted aren't particularly redpill, just sounding depressed about relationships. But if your friends have told you that you've said things that sound creepy, it might be a good idea to just practice restitution: acknowledge to them that you've come to understand how and why those things are creepy, that you're trying to change, and that you now think <something hopefully better.> A good way to start the conversation could involve asking how they're doing given all the craziness g…
/r/ExRedPill03/07/20 07:49 AM
2

I'm not saying it's impossible, I've done it too, just that it's rare and difficult. Lots of awkward forced dates and missed chances. Honestly I have more friends who I went on one online date with, than successful relationships I've heard about from online. The vast majority of relationships I know of seem to come from chance encounters at social gatherings that eventually/slowly/maybe become something more.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/20 10:31 PM
6

And this is one reason why online dating is horrible btw. I know it's next to impossible in these times but when you can socialize around men and women in person I highly recommend it because the whole online dating shuffle and expectations and getting to know someone over text is just awkward as heck. Humans aren't built for it. I've rarely known a real relationship to come from online dating, just dates, because the whole thing is so artificial.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/20 05:38 PM
1

Stop comparing yourself to drug dealers. You want to know why girls go after drug dealers? Because they want free drugs. All you're doing here is ranting about how life isn't fair. Quit it and focus on making your life how you want it without worrying about other men or potential girlfriends. The problem is not that crazy sexy dangerous jock people exist and are having all the drugs and sex without you, the problem is that you think that has any bearing on your life whatsoever. That's the poison…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/20 09:36 AM
1

I didn't say men had to be creepy, I was responding to you saying that your attempts were creepy. Sounds like you have friends who think you're pretty cool and are trying to help you find love. That's great, most people don't. Maybe think about why you "declined them or did not like the girl." Maybe have this conversation with your friend who set you up instead of strangers on the internet. Whatever you do, don't fall into the redpill rabbit hole. It will only make you bitter, resentful, and har…
/r/ExRedPill26/06/20 08:34 PM
1

Okay so if you have friends of all genders then one way people get relationships is when friends meet each other and set each other up or commingle. If your friends aren't suggesting others who might like you, or aren't giving you dating advice, maybe something is wrong. I'm sensing frustration and an idea of unfairness in your writing which can point to attitude problems; if you're socializing but can't figure out how not to sound creepy, maybe you are being creepy or maybe your friends have ad…
/r/ExRedPill26/06/20 03:37 AM
1

That's a lot of words but again my advice is go and do things you like in public where you're likely to meet new people/friends. Sure it's hard to say "heeey, nice book you got there" without seeming creepy but things like book clubs exist, book nerds often like things like poetry readings and cosplay. There are ways of saying hi to people without interrupting them. What I see is the main problem being that incels are depressed or have social anxiety, which precludes them from going and doing so…
/r/ExRedPill25/06/20 10:53 PM
15

Just by the preview image I can tell he's a toxic person. "The minimum standards for women?" how about the minimum standards for humans not being total trash and learning how to be well rounded content people? I don't know who hurt these RPers when they were young but something is seriously off. Like I'm sure everyone's had a fleeting thought about "what if everyone else conformed to my ideas about how everything should be, then it'd be so much better" but a sane person has to realize that's how…
/r/ExRedPill24/06/20 05:42 PM
1

I get what you're saying but there's a few factors at work. And the adage applies, don't hate the players, hate the game. The dating game in our culture is rigged and playing it is a losing propostion. Women don't always go for the bad guys, it's more likely they go for the interesting guys. Additionally in your teen years rebellion is far more interesting than conformity and doing the right thing. Finally men go for the "bad girls" too: are you pining for the affections of the quiet girl who go…
/r/ExRedPill24/06/20 05:24 PM
14

Seeing relationships as an adversarial game with a winner and loser is exactly the kind of mentality that creates lonely angry incels. Women often WANT to find a man, just with a man who will treat them well and not bait them with painful hooks and devour them leaving nothing but bones in the garbage. Try another analogy that's a cooperative and mutually beneficial arrangement.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/20 06:19 AM
3

Yeah that's the issue with so much "self help" or religious/healing belief, it's often just basic stuff your mom and dad should've taught you wrapped up in enough emotional language that you get off your ass and do it. But the emotional language is often a trap laid such that you think your success is due to the ideology when really it's due to not acting like a petulant child anymore.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/20 11:39 PM
1

Good point about the radfems. I think what happened is the truly hateful people descended into what we call TERFs -- "radical feminists" whose idea of being radical involves reducing women to their chromosomes and ovaries and pretending that anyone who has XY chromosomes or testes is a violent predator, often because they've got unresolved trauma from a partner or parent -- and the valuable people morphed into third wave or intersectional feminism where we really look at the reasons behind inequ…
/r/ExRedPill23/06/20 11:35 PM
2

Nailed it! Lol
/r/ExRedPill23/06/20 10:28 PM
1

And that study confirms what I was saying in my comment above as well: it's incredibly likely that people who grew up in a different culture have different perceptions of things. I think in order to make any "evolutionary psych/sociology" claim you've gotta start by disproving that culture, society, or upbringing have more to do with it. For example there are some legitimately uncanny things when you look at identical twins who were separated at birth. But it's going to be real hard to do that i…
/r/ExRedPill23/06/20 10:27 PM
5

To elaborate: I don't think redpill/incels think they want honest meaningful relationships, I think something happened in their upbringing to predispose them to broken, superficial, hateful, patriarchal relationships such that they think that anything short of male chauvinism is a lie. Maybe they see the world as chauvinistic and it's a choice between female chauvinism and male chauvinism and the wonderful healthy alternative to that is dismissed. Why bother trying when I (depressively, nihilist…
/r/ExRedPill23/06/20 10:16 PM
52

One problem with seemingly objective scientific evidence about gender and sexuality and race is that first of all it's almost always white European male scientists doing the research -- sometimes with a certain personal or professional bias -- and second of all it's almost always one or two studies that sexists/racists are pointing to. Science doesn't work like that, it's incredibly easy to set up a study to confirm your biases, good science is done when other skeptical people try to reproduce y…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/20 10:43 PM
3

If I were in your shoes my next step would be to figure out what she wants to do. What's her ideal next date even if it's not possible due to the quarantine. Let's say my wife really wants to visit Japan and see the cherry blossoms and feels like we've lost the spark. Maybe that gives me an idea to invite her to my place, watch an episode of Anthony Bourdain set in Japan, then make ramen from a recipe online (together? pre-prepared?) and eat it over a nicely set table where we can chat about our…
/r/ExRedPill16/06/20 06:51 PM
10

"Not comfortable being sexual in public" is the bit to focus on here. Men are often accused of not listening and this is a prime example: you've made yourself very clear and fully analyzed your own feelings and desires but she also made herself very clear and if you want intimacy you've gotta be prioritizing each other's feelings somewhat over your own: you first. Intimacy is more than just orgasms, it's taking care of each other's needs. I made a bagel for my wife this morning, believe it or no…
/r/ExRedPill16/06/20 06:14 PM
6

There's also a question of reporting, men are far less likely to report abusive behavior and women are far more likely to be victimized by society in general.
/r/ExRedPill13/06/20 07:57 AM
9

A lot of LGBT people have been through extremely traumatic experiences that don't just disappear once you get a partner, unfortunately. There's a lot of healing to be done in our society.
/r/ExRedPill13/06/20 02:21 AM
55

Ask any lesbian or gay man if they have any relationship horror stories. Nobody's immune from being a shitty abusive human.
/r/ExRedPill11/06/20 07:06 AM
1

You edited your post to say "the enemy" which makes it sound like you're not actually ex-redpill so why are you here?
/r/ExRedPill25/05/20 05:09 PM
3

Whether a speaker is biased against Jews or Christians has no intrinsic effect on how true their statements are. Also, the language used to belittle a person (i.e. how popular or unpopular they are) has little to do with how true their statements are. (Although you could argue that if a bunch of people are telling someone they're wrong, there's a decent chance they should investigate the possibility that they're wrong.)
/r/ExRedPill25/05/20 10:00 AM
11

I think it's really true that incel mindsets very easily trap people into ways of thinking that don't liberate anyone from anything: we don't have to date a certain way or look a certain way, and insisting that there's one right way to be is fascism. Some of the happiest best and most successful people I know are people who don't buy into any of this stuff: they're 250 pounds or LGBT+ or multicultural or have a husband and a boyfriend and a girlfriend, or aromantic and fine with it, or whatever.…
/r/ExRedPill16/05/20 05:34 PM
1

Yeah people can hurt each other, it's messed up.
/r/ExRedPill13/05/20 03:10 AM
1

Way closer! These are definitely people who've suffered childhood trajmat, i.e. lost a parent, been abused, etc. Thanks for this!
/r/ExRedPill12/05/20 09:47 PM
1

That sounds like internalized abuse to me. Like their parents abused them and expect that's how life is supposed to work. Look nobody survives childhood unscathed, we've all got issues, the question is whether or not you're aware of it and working on it. When you are, and trying to live your best life, you'll start to bump into people who aren't quite as messed up as this, or who you can at least work on and talk about your issues together.
/r/ExRedPill12/05/20 09:45 PM
1

Women can be just as abusive as men for sure, especially against boys smaller than them. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences.
/r/ExRedPill12/05/20 09:44 PM
4

It's true, men are often abused by their partners or parents especially psychologically. But you're right, male abuse (especially physical abuse but also psychological) is a massive massive problem in our society (and many societies.) Even if a father doesn't beat or yell at his daughter, tons of men have the assumption that men rule the world, "the man of the house" must be obeyed, women are mostly good for sex, babies, and housekeeping, etc. Put yourself in a 8-12yo girl's shoes for a bit: up …
/r/ExRedPill12/05/20 03:57 PM
1

See also: the "women like the chase" stereotype. I'm also wondering if there's a such thing as people who are anxious and avoidant, versus just stable. Because paragraphs A&C each describe half of some people I know, sorta adding up to a general anxiety/depression complex.
/r/ExRedPill12/05/20 03:49 PM
0

It's not that "women have this ultimate radar that can detect who is abusive" it's that under attachment-secure-avoidant theory there are three types of people: those who are attracted to abusiveness those who are attracted to clinginess those who are turned off by both abusiveness and clinginess So if you're looking for a healthy relationship where your partner isn't "crazy," you're looking for someone who will be turned off by bad behavior. Likewise you should work on yourself such that you're…
/r/ExRedPill12/05/20 03:44 PM
9

Not to mention who wants to emulate wolves? We're closer to bonobos + chimpanzees anyway.
/r/ExRedPill08/05/20 08:58 PM
10

/u/thedrunkcuteblond and /u/1fish2fish_ thanks for having a respectful and insightful exchange of ideas! It's nice to try and be conscious of the line between advocating for people who've been hurt or feel lost, versus harboring resentment and negative behavior.
/r/ExRedPill08/05/20 08:55 PM
3

Yeah imitating the devoid personalities of jocks and preps in high school who got lots of visible attention and never had to develop nuanced behaviors to get what they wanted from life, thinking that such imitation will also get you what you want, is essentially a cargo cult. They got attention because they looked good, took care of themselves, and appeared happy/successful/powerful/popular. Acting like a douche is just what happens when you let popularity go to your head, not what attracts (sta…
/r/ExRedPill08/05/20 08:51 PM
10

I was you at your age, I'm now twice your age and married to someone I'm proud to call my partner! A lot can happen between high school and college and careers and hobbies.
/r/ExRedPill08/05/20 02:02 AM
86

FYI the fact that you've gotten a decent mindset and decided to work on yourself and your own happiness is the exact reason you probably will one day have a satisfying relationship. Much like how depressed people who seek healing from their depression naturally end up meeting new people and forming meaningful friendships. It's the negative destructive mindset itself that produces negative results.
/r/ExRedPill07/05/20 08:59 PM
6

Happily married never-RP here: sex is overrated anyway. Like any other dopamine source like videogames or hiking or martial arts or mediation or good food or drugs/alcohol or porn, kissing/hugging/foreplay/sex has diminishing returns. Sure it's nice to have a balanced life and get intimacy but ask any married couple or parents, it's nothing to obsess over. Firstly, the act of obsessing ruins healthy intimacy anyway. It should feel comfortable and natural, not nervous and forced, and you do that …
/r/ExRedPill05/05/20 05:38 PM
5

First, and this is a topic for therapy, what in your life (not just reading hearsay, but personally in your experience) has taught you that sharing your emotions (or even being emotional) is something that results in violation of your trust or ridicule or gossip? It may be that the reality you experience now as an adult is different from what you experienced as a kid, or even that you're assuming that others' horror stories will apply to you. Interrogate where that's coming from, because in read…
/r/ExRedPill01/05/20 12:39 AM
2

Having been taken advantage of by a few women in what you might call "masculine-typical" ways, I gotta say this is super accurate and I think it's very helpful for men to have been hit on unwantedly and have women be aghast that a man would turn them down to realize hey, consent is a thing, acting with good faith and for mutual benefit is a great idea.
/r/ExRedPill12/04/20 02:45 AM
2

Ok then well you were 12 and when she ghosted you you should understand that you were 12 and nobody makes great logical decisions at that age and let it go.
/r/ExRedPill10/04/20 01:50 AM
2

I get in trouble with my obsession with metaphors but sometimes they work lol
/r/ExRedPill09/04/20 11:02 PM
2

Maybe you were hanging onto her obsessively or acting weird so she kissed you but then realized she didn't want to actually have a relationship? You need to relax by 1000% and figure out this depressive complex you're approaching everything with. My wife has depression, I know how this looks from the outside. I'm freaking married to her and her depression sometimes tells her that I obviously hate her and leads her into self-destructive behaviors that would sabotage our relationship if I wasn't m…
/r/ExRedPill09/04/20 11:01 PM
6

Yeah if you see your attention or socializing as a gift, then you need to remember that sometimes gifts are unwanted and unreciprocated and if you're not gonna be okay with that you need to reexamine why you're giving out gifts with strings attached.
/r/ExRedPill09/04/20 10:49 PM
46

Your average woman truly could not give two shits about whether you hate, ignore, or pay attention to them. In fact they'd probably just rather be left alone 99% of the time especially if you don't have a decent reason to interact. Put it this way, imagine if there was a bunch of gay men who just HATED straight men and went out of their way to deny us straights the attention we so obviously crave. We'd be like great, leave us alone, win-win. By hating women you're not doing much of anything besi…
/r/ExRedPill09/04/20 06:58 AM
1

The latest series, Future, and the movie, double down so much lol. I think I cry once at each new episode and then I'm cured of something I didn't realize I had...
/r/ExRedPill25/03/20 01:48 AM
2

Not a book, but Steven Universe helped me unpack more BS from my childhood than many hundreds of dollars of therapy.
/r/ExRedPill23/03/20 05:50 AM
1

They're definitely not supposed to, and he didn't say it in so many words, but he didn't really provide any useful perspective for me. I literally heard his anti-my-girlfriend advice and I was like ya know what, after thoughtful consideration, I've decided you're wrong. (Psychs also aren't really supposed to offer specific advice...)
/r/ExRedPill23/02/20 11:47 PM
1

I mean I might say I'm an unapologetic Bernie Bro, that's only an issue if you hate Bernie 🤷‍♂️ it's really the subsequent weird behavior that makes it a red flag
/r/ExRedPill19/02/20 09:22 AM
2

I think that the complexes that form based on your mental traumas could go either way and the ultimate answer is to be honest with yourself and others, and challenge your assumptions, and be open to really embracing and examining new ideas. The mental patterns and habits you currently have are not serving you. You're going to try to change them, which is hard and takes real work and practice. The path from here to there is as unique as your brain is, I can't tell you what the best route is.
/r/ExRedPill19/02/20 09:20 AM
16

I think that's a highly personal question. For example it's just as easy for a male psych to say "ah, women are crazy, don't listen to them" and a female psych to say "no I totally understand and there's just this little bit you're missing" and then you've got a positive interaction with a woman that you're practicing at the same time. Most women I know would be thrilled to help a man sincerely challenge his misogyny, especially if they're getting paid for it. It entirely boils down to how you i…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/20 08:09 AM
1

Sounds like a personality issue moreso than the fact that she thinks women should be equal, but yeah personality is far more important than appearances after you get past the "swipe right" stage (which in my opinion is an artificial and poor way to date anyway)
/r/ExRedPill18/02/20 03:39 AM
1

Everything you've just said is wrong. Please reevaluate your life.
/r/ExRedPill14/02/20 10:34 PM
7

Exactly. Always easier to blame it on someone else and stay as you are, rather than doing uncomfortable introspection and healing and growing.
/r/ExRedPill12/02/20 11:14 PM
13

Or specifically, we can't solve someone's depression in a public thread about redpill ideology where they try to prove to us that women are superficial and they're ugly. Maybe if the thread was about how to deal with depression we could get somewhere but we can't even get that far if we're constantly getting hung up arguing about statistics about dating demographics. It's depression and anxiety that is telling RP people that they should prove to the world that they're unlovable and that the worl…
/r/ExRedPill12/02/20 10:04 PM
2

I think the parent comment was saying that some of the most visually attractive people can also have the worst personalities (and vice versa.) I agree, relationship success and happiness seems to be much more about who you are as people than what you look like.
/r/ExRedPill10/02/20 12:21 AM
1

That doesn't not equal happiness though. If you've had a baby with someone who's with you because of looks, guess what those looks will fade and then you're stuck in a relationship that's not necessarily based on your actual personalities or goals. As long as you obsess about looks and assume you're subpar, it's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy that traps you in "the red pill" instead of letting you just live a decent life.
/r/ExRedPill09/02/20 01:52 AM
5

Yeah your post history has some problems, the Radical Feminist movement has a bunch of very extreme (hence "radical?") viewpoints on men and trans people and goes a bit overboard trying to tell people what they're allowed to do and enjoy. I think you're seeing the extremes of insular online communities of frustrated people: redpill incels on one side and radical feminists on the other. And you may be hurting/frustrated too: I notice your posts about Islamic women, it sounds like maybe you're dea…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/20 08:43 AM
3

It sounds like English might not be their primary language so while it's not a great word to use I get why they might feel that way
/r/ExRedPill08/02/20 08:23 AM
1

K dude you're just arguing with me and your listening skills are very poor. My thumb is getting carpal tunnel from typing stuff to you. Go back and re-read what I've written and make an effort to believe what I'm saying because I don't think you're understanding what I'm getting at.
/r/ExRedPill08/02/20 08:19 AM
1

I think that's extending the metaphor a little too far :p the point here is that inner beauty comes from attitude and personality and can overshadow superficial appearances, not that you need to pretend not to be in pain in order to be attractive. (Maybe try to heal or manage that pain, for everyone's sake, but not just to keep up appearances.)
/r/ExRedPill08/02/20 08:16 AM
1

Oh no that's definitely taking it too far. It's more like a question of whether you're holding onto things and letting you become a bitter resentful angry person, or processing hardship and dealing with it in a non-pathological way. Some people get through cancer and it actually informs their outlook on life and they feel like they've gotten extra time. Others get through it but lose a piece of themselves in the process; not physically or psychologically, but almost like their spirit is deflated…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/20 08:12 AM
4

I really feel like a lot of these people are being harder on themselves than anyone else, too. Like for the tenth time I've seen happy couples who objectively look like extras from The Goonies, I don't think redpillers are really that caliber of "hideous" and even then stop talking bad about yourself.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/20 08:11 AM
3

Autism can sure make it very hard to form human relationships, and it sounds like you're very depressed about it too. You're thinking very negatively about a wide swath of people, which is pretty fallacious and unhealthy. I think swearing off dating for awhile is a great idea, and I think focusing on simply enjoying life and maybe having a decent amount of platonic human contact would be good for you. The pressures of "dating" are immense and have never been useful for me even though I'm now mar…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/20 06:26 AM
1

I'd have to see a photo to really say anything but barring that I have to reiterate that unless you're trying to do superficial activities like online dating or bars, or trying to attract people who look like Barbie, women and married people agree that looks are superficial and only really serve to bring someone in from a distance; but there are much better ways of meeting people anyway, and as soon as someone knows you your personality and self-care is what's going to make the difference. I thi…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/20 06:07 AM
9

Oh for sure I guess what I meant in the title was if you're entering a situation with a negative attitude people will notice, not so much in the sense of clinical depression. Robin Williams was severely depressed but he still had a magnetic personality and made people around him happy.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/20 05:53 AM
2

I don't think you understand what it's like to go from being a depressed person who has no sex, to being a depressed person who just got done having depressing sex. I've been there buddy, the grass is not greener. The media and your balls have you believing you just need to fill a hole, but in reality the hole is in your soul where human connection should be. Much like a starving kid eating scraps, if your belly has been empty for too long you need to start on fundamentals like water and cracker…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 11:31 PM
2

I think you can be confident and powerful and attractive without being manipulative or shitty. But it takes practice to gain and wield that power without being fake or shitty about it. My brother is a gym rat whose doubled his muscle mass over like 5 years but he's also a huge softie who cares about others' mental and physical wellbeing first and foremost. He was my best man and he demonstrated more sincere care and brotherly affection for me than I've probably ever received in my life, which wa…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 10:52 PM
1

I would agree with what you just said except I'd like to add that facial attractiveness is still a red herring and if you're obsessed with it you're only hurting yourself. Put it this way I've been to a number of bars/clubs in a number of places and one of the most depressing was a bar in rural Nebraska... not because it was rural, or a bar, but because it was painfully obvious that they had internalized this idea that the pinnacle of a great time would be to imitate some sort of Coyote Ugly / S…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 10:20 PM
2

I don't think it's unfair of her to ask (shit happens and she was apologetic and she even said "how do you feel" not "I need to" suggesting she was somewhat flexible.) I also don't think him being upset was unreasonable (my wife would give me major shit for cancelling at the last minute) but I think he could've handled it much better and actually answered the question instead of telling her to get lost. In the end though relationships are about finding a match. If this is how her life is and she…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 10:16 PM
2

Any time people are hurting there will be those who try and say "follow my solution and join my solidarity and your hurt will be healed" -- it's how gangs and cults and terrorists recruit, it's even how capitalism and Stalinism/Maoism/Juche convinces people to love the system that oppresses them. The key is to sniff out the truly liberating ideas and ways of living that require no leadership or rigid brotherhood, and are simply ideas that stand truthfully on their own and seem to be more validat…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 10:05 PM
3

If you're truly having huge obstacles with friends and family I would suggest just trying to be included, but then taking a huge backseat; smile and be pleasant but don't attempt to start new topics of conversation, don't derail, just be a "good follower" (which is a useful skill by the way! Every good platoon leader also needs to know when to take orders from the general and relay them to the troops. And good troops need to follow orders intelligently and cooperatively.) I have a father in law …
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 09:49 PM
1

Heya if you're overwhelmed I've been more active here lately and happy to help. I wish we could be more of a guide to exit than a debate with each and every RPer. Common resources, wiki, whatever. My thumbs are sore lol.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 09:42 PM
1

Have you even seen Shrek? Again I've said a dozen times I've seen "hideous" people happily married and dating, I've seen "bombshell" women go for 300 pound sad boys who wear 3XL graphic tees but are fun enjoyable dudes with hobbies and lives. What matters is your emotional attractiveness; visual is superficial. It's like reeing in a fish with shiny sparkly bait vs just putting a brown blob of actual wholesome food into the water. If you keep on this line of thinking where you're comparing stats …
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 08:25 PM
3

Look buddy you're repeating depressive mantras and taking what I'm saying as if it's confirmation of your worst fears but you need to snap out of that cycle. I might be "decently attractive" especially when I clean up and take care of myself and don't act like an idiot. But I was a curly-headed nerd who was bullied and had difficulty forming friendships from 3rd grade thru at least high school if not post-college. I have yellowed, crooked teeth and if not for years of practice I'd essentially be…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 08:16 PM
5

Everything you've said is an accurate representation of how you're feeling, and an accurate description of a less-attractive man trying to find love/sex on Tinder or in a bar, but it is completely wrong and destructive in terms of establishing lasting meaningful loving relationships where the sex is more than just "being used." Right now you're trying to dance the Robot and I need you to slow dance instead. If you want to wallow in depression, keep arguing with us and keep repeating the same red…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 07:43 PM
2

I understand that you have successfully communicated how you feel by using these words, and all I can say is that if you keep repeating them and believing them then they'll be a self fulfilling prophecy. Women and married men are in here point blank repeating themselves that attractiveness has far far far more to do with having a pleasant and engaging inside than whether you have abs or a unibrow or not. It's up to you whether you want to try and believe that or keep on repeating the patterns of…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 07:22 PM
3

Being the best version of yourself is my default advice for how to "find a girl" in the first place. Just like how sitting alone with your thoughts is a great way to become single, fat and depressed.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 10:51 AM
7

What incels seem unable to believe, except maybe in sad private moments, is that simply having someone hug you and tell you they love you is 100x more rewarding, long term, than the best orgasm. Or to put it anther way: having all the sex you want without anyone to cuddle with you and say they love you afterwards is as hollow and frustrating as high noon on a Wednesday in Vegas. But I'm sure they won't hear what I'm saying and will quote another stat at us. Maybe it's something that can only be …
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 10:48 AM
5

All this stats talk is getting in the way of actually going out into the world and just making friends. Male friends, female friends, enjoying your life, being a real human. Everyone can invent logical sounding reasons why they're not finding a partner but at the end of the day you've just gotta delete social media and get out of the house and try to find something interesting to do.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 10:40 AM
9

I know a completely average woman who is 300 pounds. She wears big pink headphones, likes to DJ, and her infectious smile and positivity and confidence light up an entire room. Some of the "ugliest" people I know are ones I'd far rather roll around in bed with not because I'm staring at their face the whole time but because they give hugs full of comfort and joy and I feel like they truly give a shit about me though I have no idea why. Having a unibrow or acne or yellow teeth might not be everyo…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 10:37 AM
1

Thanks bot, I'm not angry, just trying to emphasize. 💗
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 10:28 AM
9

Listen I was the biggest nerd, and a virgin up til like 23, and a huge dork who used to vindictively say stuff like "women like gay guys and jocks" or whatever. And it's 1000% true, if you go on a dating site or to a bar and you're not visually appealing you're gonna have a hard time. Sure. But that's missing the core of what creates and maintains friendships and relationships: casually bumping into someone interesting. Enjoying being in their company. Having something in common. Being able to w…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 10:14 AM
11

women can be very shallow So can men. I have a feeling that a bunch of incels are people who think they're too good for someone over 180 pounds, or who think ____ is a deal breaker, or whatever. I've been a nerd, I get it. But part of maturity (for men and women) is realizing that your list of musts needs to go out the window and you need to learn how to hang with people who are shall we say "less than ideal." For every man posting online that he'll never get a girl because he's cripplingly shy …
/r/ExRedPill06/02/20 09:45 AM
34

"Women only like muscular men" is an objectively false statement. For starters, there are plenty of overweight women who would be happy as a clam to date an overweight man as long as he was emotionally and financially stable and treated her well. For second, I don't know any women who are dating muscular men, and all the married men I know are not muscular. Where are you hanging out, the gym and bars? Go to trivia night or volunteer at the library dude.
/r/ExRedPill05/02/20 11:29 PM
9

Responding to the post title: me too, friend, and I've never even been associated with it ;) Seriously though good work leaving a toxic place and focusing on being the best person you can be.
/r/ExRedPill20/12/19 12:50 AM
7

"Everyone else except me is in denial!"
/r/ExRedPill12/12/19 06:14 AM
23

Self healing is a lifelong process no matter who you are. Just keep on trying the best you can and pick yourself up when you fall: one thing that is consistently underestimated is human tenacity and in my opinion it's the only thing that matters.
/r/ExRedPill29/11/19 08:16 AM
9

Hey, the first step is admitting that something's wrong. Good luck!
/r/ExRedPill09/11/19 07:02 PM
5

"All" is a great sign that someone is exaggerating and probably wrong. All skies are not blue. All black people don't have brown eyes. All motorcycles don't have two or even three or even four wheels. Etc etc etc. When someone tries to get you to think about all-or-nothing black-and-white concepts instead of seeing the individual in front of you and acknowledging infinite shades of gray, I highly recommend you check their motives and maturity because they're rarely up to snuff. It's like a used …
/r/ExRedPill06/11/19 07:35 AM
3

It sounds simple enough on the surface but the problem is his public/internet persona and the "manosphere" ecosystem he's a part of feeds into toxic, backwards, wrong BS. Anyone can tell you to clean your room. Your mom told you to. The only reason it's powerful coming from him is he seems like the gateway to acceptance into a manly man-club of stoicism, respect, and virility. But again the problem is that what you're actually joining up with is a bunch of disaffected loner/loser sadboys with an…
/r/ExRedPill30/10/19 06:20 AM
2

Women are not a monolith. Just like men, they could do any number of things for any number of reasons. I understand it can drive you crazy to not know, but she's her own person and if you don't have evidence of something then it's best to put it out of your mind. Even if you see her downtown with another man tomorrow, that doesn't mean anything. She didn't want to be with you anymore and that's that, for any number of reasons. And for all you know she just met the guy that day or is talking to a…
/r/ExRedPill25/10/19 12:07 AM
7

Just because legit man-hating vengeful content exists in Reddit doesn't mean it's in any way indicative of the way the girl next door thinks. Hell, I see woman-hating vengeful content nearly every day, does that mean that all men are misogynist trash? For all we know, Russia has two dozen Reddit accounts and a dozen subreddits just dedicated to "proving" stereotypes that oh-so-conveniently result in the disintegration and radicalizing of our society. Do actual women and men of all types and opin…
/r/ExRedPill06/10/19 10:35 PM
2

My standard relationship advice is to never "go get a girlfriend." That's a predator mindset that can be smelled from a hundred feet away. Just go meet new people and make friends. The best relationships I've seen are those that happen accidentally when neither person is looking and they bumped into each other doing things they both enjoyed and things happened naturally. And in the meantime you're doing things you enjoy, or trying new things, and meeting new people and making new friends. RP's c…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 01:34 AM
1

I'm 33 and I know more swingers in their 40s than you'd like to hear about. Viagra is like the number one drug in retirement communities. There's no ticking clock other than the fact that we're all learning and growing and aging. It's incredibly common to have a quarter life crisis at your age... the good news is you've got like a decade before it's nice to have things halfway figured out. I will say I feel 100% more comfortable in my own body and mind at age 30 than I did at 20 or 25. Crises ar…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 01:23 AM
2

That's a perfect example of someone making up toxic lies and assumptions not because they're actually true but because they've given up hope on anything better for themselves. Which becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I'd agree that the confines of monogamy are part of what she's railing against. Who says she needs to either marry an asshole or die alone? My grandpa had a fifty year long marriage, she died, and then he had a girlfriend for the last five years of his life. Did he "die alone?" OP'…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 01:21 AM
5

People are free to do what they want but when it comes to giving advice for a happy life, and speaking from experience, I can tell you that screwing a new person every _____ (or even having a friends-with-benefits type situation) is no more fulfilling than having a relationship with your right hand. Sure, sex drives mean we want some release every once in awhile and actual sex can be great, but nothing beats someone who you know is a partner to you, and you to them, and making each other breakfa…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 01:14 AM
3

I used to have major paranoia and trust issues, but managed to have a great girlfriend who I felt was out of my league. (She wasn't, we were pretty matched, but my underconfident 22yo butt didn't realize that.) What I realized was, if I don't have any actual evidence that she was, say, cheating on me, then I needed to just get those thoughts out of my mind and not act on them... if anything, double down on listening to her and being the best boyfriend I could. Why? Because if she's not cheating …
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 12:59 AM
1

In addition to the above, the standard Reddit advice of "delete social media, hit the gym," etc applies. For example I'm not a big beer drinker but many cafes and bars have trivia nights that are casual, easy to pop into, and often full of nerds (depending on the venue of course.) Key is meeting people face to face in easy social situations that don't have to turn into anything significant but could. Or hell, local Pokemon Go groups. Or maybe you're in bumfuck idaho and there's "nothing" -- but …
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 12:47 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter