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bslichy Archive

View 0 posts and 74 comments by bslichy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Per Texas law, you aren’t supposed to be able to have more than 20% of gross pay deducted for child support. I am not certain if that is for only 1 kid or multiple…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/21 07:35 PM
3

I figured it was your dog…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/21 12:09 AM
1

She has 9 years of shared equity build in the house. The downpayment for purchase would be diminished over the course of the marriage to a lesser amount, potentially negligible at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 07:57 PM
4

Sorry to hear how horrible it is for you. As has been said, mine is no cakewalk, but relatively speaking isn’t bad. Document it all and go for full custody. It sounds like it is in the Children’s best interest.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/21 10:16 PM
7

Soon someone else will be dealing with her bs. But it does suck. Will get easier over time. Just be sure to take care of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 12:13 AM
1

That speaks to her character, not you. It sucks. And hurts. It gets better. Try to not stoop to her level. Oh, my ex was remarried about 90 days later…. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/21 02:17 AM
2

Yeah… Always out for her pound of flesh for perseverance wrongs. Seeing how narcissistic she is…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 09:01 PM
2

My ex filed motion for increase in child support. The call with the domestic relations rep ended with ex being told next time she files for an adjustment there better be a material change in circumstances…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 05:23 PM
3

You file in your home district, then she will need court approval to move—you don’t want your kids that far from you. Sounds good on paper that you can visit them when you want, but that will get expensive very quick, on top of child support etc. I would advise the 50-50, and keeping that approval of both parties needed for kids to switch school district.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/21 10:32 PM
2

My ex had inheritance from her father’s passing during our marriage. That was excluded from property settlement in PA.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/21 08:17 PM
2

Child support amount can change over time, as your income, and hers, changes. She can agree in court to accept a lump sum as payment in full, but she can come back and ask for an adjustment if circumstances change
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/21 07:10 PM
3

Of course then you need to collect…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/21 05:42 PM
3

But if this is in violation of the decree, include the legal fees on top for her contempt of court
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/21 05:29 PM
5

Yep, had same. 3 months after divorce finalized, they were married too…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 05:12 PM
2

Good news from what was said to me is Chester Co is the best in PA for the man. I used Obermeyer in my divorce
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/21 07:54 PM
9

She would be responsible for your legal fees if you file contempt… Sue and include legal fees
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 07:10 PM
1

We ran alternating weeks, with kids going home Friday to new place. Gave them the weekend to adjust between places
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 02:15 AM
1

Until the ex files appeal with IRS and you go through audit… This is concern with a vindictive ex (disclaimer, I have not actually had to deal with this myself)
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 07:52 PM
1

Problem is Ex can go and claim them both and IRS will back her. Yes, in violation of divorce agreement, but federal tax rules don’t care about your divorce agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/21 08:07 PM
1

No, 401k contribution does NOT impact your child support obligations. If you are covering health insurance for the kids, you will get a credit for that. PA does take in to account taxes in their calculations. The state has a site which you can enter your numbers in a s get an idea of what to expect. If your Ex is not working and is capable, there will be an assumed/imputed earning potential for them. This will be debatable. You can enter an agreement outside of court or in mediation, and not nee…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/21 07:27 PM
4

Court mandated child support is fairly easy—contact your county domestic relations department and file the claim, they will garnish wages or put a warrant out.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 04:03 PM
1

It is reasonable to expect more of those days too. If possible to take a time out from discussions when it gets heated, do that, and set a time for continuing. “Discussions” in anger will just push things backwards...
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/20 09:34 PM
1

If the two of you can sit down and have a civil and reasonable conversation, mediation can work very well. I will echo, the less lawyer involvement, the better everyone can be
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/20 08:56 PM
0

A discussion with the stbxw.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 11:29 PM
0

If you two agree to a number, get it signed, notarized, and move forward. There will be no need to go to court with that. Note on your check “child support” as part of CYA.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 08:25 PM
2

Hope the paperwork has a timeframe written in. My gf got screwed from her ex on a joint card he ended up with—he stopped paying and there was little that could be done without great expense (of course a cc is less exposure than a mortgage). The lenders don’t care about the divorce papers, they are only concerned about the papers you signed with them....
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/20 01:51 PM
3

Sounds like you two are working together well. Go through documents needed for filing, and everything written down, signed and notarized, and you should be in good position.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/20 02:12 PM
1

In PA, it is retroactive to time it is filed for child support, not when you are served...
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/20 02:00 PM
2

Yes, found the same.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/20 03:29 PM
4

Wish you the best! Frustrating that we are taken advantage of...
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/20 08:44 PM
1

That is something that will vary with each state’s statutes for sure. In PA, that is the case. However you are right, proving the cohabitation is more of a challenge. But if you can show they both have same address on license or for utilities, that would do it. The marriage part is much easier....
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/20 10:35 AM
5

And if you have been paying alimony while she is married, you will be entitled to anything paid since she got married back. If they are cohabitating, you might be entitled to it back too.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/20 01:12 AM
2

I have wondered about what to do with my ring too... I don’t want to wear it as part of any future relationship, but there are good points made regarding kids...
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/20 01:52 AM
2

First off, so sorry to hear this, and I can’t imagine how that can feel. So, you are in the US I assume? If so, what state? I understand there are some where you can go after the father of her baby for breaking up your marriage. Also, the courts should calculate an imputed income for her, even if she is not working. The healing process isn’t always easy, but it can be so liberating!
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/20 12:59 PM
4

Are the SSN’s on last year’s tax filing where you can pull them off?
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/20 11:50 PM
1

Does she not have anything to offset?
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/20 09:52 PM
1

Good on you for reaching out to your stbx about seeing your daughter. Others may say to make the stbx initiate, but you are clearly putting your daughter’s interests first. Document this all. Contact a lawyer and petition for physical and legal custody of her, as you are showing that her well being is more important to you than the stbx.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/20 02:53 PM
3

Exactly. Then you have to go to court again, hiring a lawyer, showing that the assigned party is in contempt of court, to force your ex to refinance in their name only.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/20 04:06 PM
2

Won’t lie, it isn’t an easy process. But it does get better. And the most important thing is loving your son, and yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/20 02:23 PM
2

The target state should be 50-50, as this has been shown to be best for the kids normally. If you are going with that, and she is trying to demand an unbalanced split, you will be seen as far more reasonable and looking for the children’s best interest. Unless you are a bad parent and negatively impacting their well-being, which it definitely does not sound like, just keep doing what you can. How old are the kids? At a certain age, they will have some say in what they want too...
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/20 12:34 PM
1

Talk to lawyer to get a brokers price opinion. This will be what they could sell the house for in about 30 days time, and will net out the brokers fees.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/20 03:18 AM
2

This is what we do. Switching Friday afternoon gives the kids the weekend to adjust for the school week.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/20 03:39 AM
2

We agreed 50-50 with alternating weeks. To try and be easiest for the kids, the switch is Fridays after school—then they have the weekend to adjust their routine. Now I am faced with 2 older kids (15 and 16) who do not want to go to their mom’s anymore, and an ex who wants to swap kids (I.e. I take the two older boys full time and the younger one stays with her full time, like they are playing cards or something...)
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/20 01:37 AM
1

This is the best response to it. Your friends know you better than that, and know who you are. They will question things that are very out of character for you. And in time, she will have alienated those that used to be her friend from this.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/20 02:32 PM
2

That I am not sure of... I filed single, and am not sure how it would be different as head of household. That is best for a tax accountant to answer (I just have used Turbo Tax and been done with it).
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 08:12 PM
2

Nothing good will come from trying to hide things... Also, if you came in to the marriage with reasonable assets, have those split out of it all.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 07:41 PM
4

You can always contact your attorney about the tax sue and force her to sign the necessary paperwork. Additionally, she should get your attorney fees associated with this. Personally, I wouldn’t it slide because it will continue...
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 07:39 PM
1

You are ahead a little in that you have the deed and Lon in your name, and won’t need to change these. As has been said, you will need to pay her half the equity in the house. My ex and I had agreed to appraised value when I had done refi, less normal closing costs. If you can’t agree, then the court will order a broker price opinion to assign equity, which is then split.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 08:48 PM
1

A much better written conversation that I regularly have with my two older boys...
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/20 07:34 AM
2

Any loan would have to be rewritten to remove you from it and put it in her name. If she is unable to get a loan in her name, and you say no to keeping the house, then it would be sold. Do NOT agree to keeping the loan in your name and her making the payments. Nothing good comes from this and you will end up making the payments to avoid having a foreclosure on your credit report.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/20 04:03 PM
4

Funny thing is I get along better with her boyfriend than I do her...
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 10:18 PM
2

Nope. Kids learn the wrong lesson.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/20 04:39 AM
5

My understanding is it isn’t legal to just drop you from insurance before divorce. Now once the divorce is complete, most companies (major ones at least) will not include you on his medical coverage. You will get a COBRA enrollment package after he lets them know you are divorced (for the US).
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/20 10:39 PM
1

Trading 12.5 equity for waking from 25 credit card (figuring each stuck with half) will help you rebuild. It can feel overwhelming at times, but also freeing. Not a fan of the 3 year timeframe, but not sure what legal requirements there are when putting that together
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/20 06:49 AM
1

Is the house owned, or have 150k in equity? One thing you need to be sure of is to not have your name on the mortgage after.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/20 03:00 AM
7

Keep screenshots and a journal of texts and interactions. This will help you keep some sanity when things are twisted around.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 01:39 PM
3

If they continue after she has been asked to stop, block her texts and emails, and insist all communication is done via USPS.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/19 01:47 AM
3

You can get this back. It is sobering to feel on the edge of losing it all. It sounds like you are getting a solid reassessment of what matters, and that is a huge start. Best of luck in this, and know you can rebuild yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 11:05 PM
2

Show that you are happier without her and succeed in rebuilding
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/19 02:05 AM
2

It is contempt because he took money from and account (joint) that was not to be touched. Violating a court order is violating a court order—doesn’t matter what the reason was, still violation.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/19 02:22 AM
2

If you have sole possession of the house, simply change the locks. If you don’t have sole possession yet, work to get that order done and then change the locks. My now-Ex would come and take things she wanted when I was at work or out of town. Most of it little things here and there, which wasn’t a big enough deal to raise a stink about (until you start getting something ready for dinner and find she took the slow cooker...). When I changed the locks, she got pissed and claimed the boys needed t…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/19 02:45 PM
1

Thank you for sharing your story. So wonderful to hear you and your boys building a family again!
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/19 06:20 PM
1

You, your stbxw, or a new buyer, will own the house after the divorce. If you own it, you can give it to your daughters. If your stbxw owns it, she can do as she wishes. You will have the option to give your proceeds from the equity of the hose to your daughters—they will be your choice. Best of luck, this is not an easy process...
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/19 11:56 PM
2

Definitely consult with attorney before removing STBX from your cards, or yourself from their’s... but I would not think it a problem to remove yourself from their cards (again, verify with attorney). On my side, we had previously discussed we would be doing this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/19 02:55 AM
3

Regarding the credit cards, you can call the banks and have yourself removed from being an authorized user. I did this with the card I was an authorized user on that was my STBX’s, the same time I was removing her from mine.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/19 09:21 PM
1

She can most likely apply for COBRA as a placeholder until she gets private coverage.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/19 09:26 PM
3

Best advice, talk to your attorney. My attorney told me that I could deliver, they could deliver, service could do it, or the sheriff, as a last resort, could do it (most expensive route)
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/19 02:21 AM
2

All depends on the lawyer. With mine, anything unused would have been refunded. But I have heard from others who have had retainers that were non-refundable.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/19 02:19 AM
2

Try using the sheriff of process servers can’t do their job.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/19 09:56 PM
1

If she has an attorney, see if they can accept it. Can also use the sheriff if needed.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/19 03:44 PM
2

Those seem like some pretty extreme examples, and I wouldn’t feel bad if you don’t think like that. Now if you are thinking only about how it impacts you, that is different...
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/19 02:49 PM
1

First of all, very sorry to hear this. That is absolutely horrible to have to go through. If there is a custody agreement, how can she withhold access to seeing your daughter? That is contempt of court.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/19 06:53 PM
1

And sorry... it really sucks. Going through it myself right now, and have kids involved. Only thing I know is we aren’t the first, and won’t be the last, to go through it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/19 07:26 PM
1

Talk to attorney. The student debt would stay with you, but the account is marital assets, even if in her name.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/19 07:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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