buffsterfan Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Should we just raise the consenting age to 25? I think this should be included in the discussion for sure. I personally don’t think we should necessarily raise the age of consent, but I do think that in countries where you can’t even legally drink until 21, ie the US, it seems nonsensical that you have all the other responsibilities of being a legal adult thrust on you at 18.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/02/23 05:54 AM
1	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). I pretty much agree with that! I will say- most women don’t ALWAYS want it rough, it’s nice to be capable of having an aggressive romp OR more passionate or gentle lovemaking, you know? Which type makes up the majority of your sex life is obviously down to individual preference. And I get what you mean by the “stoic” stuff, but I feel like that’s a bit of a misnomer that’s leading some guys here astray (I’ve seen it mentioned a few times in the comments). Everyone wants someone who can keep thei…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 10:39 PM
1	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). Yeah dude! Just keep working on bettering yourself and becoming more of your authentic, whole self and you will be ready when the opportunity presents itself❤️	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 10:29 PM
1	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). Dude. Please go sort out your unresolved trauma before spewing your unsolicited misogynistic views all over the internet. SO much fucking vitriol in your comments all over this post man! You’ve obviously got issues with women and I can’t help but wonder where it stems from. This is what OP is referring to when she mentioned emotional maturity and the increasing awareness around mental illness etc- Listen man. I’m not here to attack you. I have no reason to say this other than maybe, hopefully, h…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 03:00 PM
1	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). I’m confused. Who’s telling you to stop playing video games? Like I know it’s a thing people HAVE said, but who’s STILL saying that? There are loads of girls into video games, or girls who don’t mind if their boyfriends are gamers, as long as they’ve got their priorities straight and don’t allow the gaming to take over their entire lives ie not sleeping or showering especially etc Literally all my boyfriends have gamed either occasionally or obsessively, and pretty much every happy couple I’m fr…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 02:42 PM
1	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). Most of the hot women I know- myself included- don’t go for the gym bro stoic type. Sounds like no fun, and not a great partner. I’m not saying not to go to the gym. I work out a lot. But I don’t make it my whole personality, and girls are generally turned off by guys that do Edit: depends on what you mean by stoic tho? Either way, people generally want to be around people who can be comfortable being their authentic, whole, and healthy selves. THAT is the most attractive thing you can be. It’s …	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 02:34 PM
2	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). Don’t need to retire if you love what you do!	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 02:29 PM
2	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). This. Most people have to learn from experience about what kind of guys are toxic, unless they’ve got an older sister they watched firsthand make the mistakes for them or really great older friends who guide them through it, etc	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 02:25 PM
2	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). Maybe these men lol. I know lots that get these concepts. That being said, they gotta learn somehow ig	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 02:16 PM
1	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). Emotional ≠ emotionally mature Emotional ≠ emotional availability/being able to be vulnerable Just wanted to clarify that! And yeah ofc women want an animal in bed, but that’s as far as we want the animalistic behavior to go, for the most part. I’ve got the best of both worlds with my partner, he’s patient, understanding, emotionally intelligent, intellectual and witty etc, but yeah ofc we’ve gotta have great chemistry in bed or we never would’ve made it out of the friend zone. The two aren’t mu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 02:14 PM
3	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). If you really are that type of guy, I promise you will find someone. It’s just about being ready (which you are) and then the whole- right place right time thing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 01:55 PM
1	This is why women have become more choosy (from a woman’s perspective). This!! Most successful women I know, and myself, are just looking for guys who they enjoy being around, have chemistry with etc, but who are EMOTIONALLY mature, have dealt with their baggage, yada yada yada. I don’t want to get into a relationship with a man who has issues he hasn’t dealt with that he would then pass on to our hypothetical children… Like, I’ve done work on myself, and from what I know statistically about therapy/self-help etc, the majority of the clientele/patrons etc tend to be…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 01:52 PM
2	How are men supposed to meet women these days? Ok, i think you guys are overanalyzing this. Yes, there’s a chance any one of these reactions could happen, there’s also a chance you’ll get a different reaction. I personally have only ever been weirded out by someone approaching me if there was something inappropriate or creepy about the way they approached me- meaning, saying something like “mmm you sound good girl” (from some guy trying to sell me something over the phone lol), or not backing off after I’ve tried to gently let them down, or …	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/23 01:17 PM
1	The idea that anyone is suggesting women date/bang ugly guys is again, another deflection. The real issue is women flaking on and even overlooking GOOD looking men, even those more attractive than them, over dumb shit. Hopefully you will! It is absolutely something you have to experience for yourself, and I think it becomes easier to find the more you get to know yourself.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/10/22 07:01 PM
1	The idea that anyone is suggesting women date/bang ugly guys is again, another deflection. The real issue is women flaking on and even overlooking GOOD looking men, even those more attractive than them, over dumb shit. Here, I’ll give you some examples. When I was younger, I was raised in a fairly small community to be Mrs. All-American Perfect Christian Dream Wife™️, and as a result, I thought I owed it to any man I thought was relatively nice who had the courage to ask me out to go on at least one date with them, regardless of whether or not I was really interested in them. I didn’t always have a bad time, but surprise surprise, the interest wasn’t there, and the dates were always one-offs, and I’d be left w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/10/22 06:57 PM
2	The idea that anyone is suggesting women date/bang ugly guys is again, another deflection. The real issue is women flaking on and even overlooking GOOD looking men, even those more attractive than them, over dumb shit. You’re right that you get to know someone over the course of your relationship, but most people simply won’t want to pursue a long relationship with someone if that chemistry/spark isn’t there to begin with. It’s what attracts you to someone beyond the physical, it’s that fire that fuels the relationship in it’s early stages before you get to a level of comfort where you completely know and understand each other, and it’s something VERY important to nurture so that you and your partner never for…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/10/22 06:25 PM
5	The idea that anyone is suggesting women date/bang ugly guys is again, another deflection. The real issue is women flaking on and even overlooking GOOD looking men, even those more attractive than them, over dumb shit. Damn man. I’m sorry you’ve never experienced this but lots of people have. It’s chemistry, basically, and it’s palpable and real. It’s awesome when you find someone you click with like 🫰🏻that, and you’re instantly friends or immediately start joking with them like you’ve known them for ages. Happens all the time with strangers even, if they’ve got compatible personalities/humor etc	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/10/22 06:15 PM
1	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? Missionary was widely popularized by Christian missionaries, actually. Obviously it was around before- we’ve been getting off for a very long time in a variety of ways (and varied between cultures), but there’s definitely weight to the idea that early humans had sex more like “the animals”. Like I said, we EVOLVED to be bipedal. For a long long time the most common sexual position was most likely rear entry.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 09:50 AM
1	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? What a fucking wild ride	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 05:34 AM
1	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? The impregnation comment makes PERFECT sense. Do you know how humans and other animals had sex for the majority of our history before we evolved to stand up and, among other things, have sex in missionary? The man took the woman from behind. It’s called “doggy style” for a reason. Man is designed to be aroused by the female ass bc that’s what our ancestors would have been looking at while they were having sex. The female, however, is not looking at the man. Who knows what she was looking at or t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 05:31 AM
1	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? This! Also why sometimes teasing photos are better. A whole ass dick in a picture is just a bit much most of the time. But the SUGGESTION of a dick is much more erotic. Also forearms, jawline, hands, etc. Though those things still don’t typically turn me/most women on just by themselves.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 04:35 AM
1	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? The whole point is that you’re masturbating to a picture… some women do this, absolutely, but most don’t need to or would rather get off to erotica, audio, imagined scenarios, previous conversations or pictures/videos of their SO… it’s just different. And it’s not any worse? If you’re in a loving relationship this literally won’t be an issue. I love my bf and when we have sex we worship each other’s bodies, and when we’re not having sex we slap each other’s butts, I tell him his hair is sexy, et…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 04:32 AM
1	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? Not exactly. The reason you see more content directed at the male gaze is bc men are the ones buying into the male gaze. It’s supply and demand. Hence the flush of OF accounts with a seemingly never-ending market of men to buy into them. You’ve been right a few times, OP- not all men. Some men absolutely need or prefer emotional connection as well. It’s just that the vast majority are far more affected by purely visual stimulation than the vast majority of women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 04:26 AM
1	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? Yeah, what the fuck is OP on about. We can’t control the way out sexualities work any more than you can. Just go find somebody who likes to fuck in front of the mirror as much as you do and be done with it	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 04:20 AM
1	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? Or become a male stripper	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 04:19 AM
2	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? Ugh. Forearms.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 03:04 AM
5	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? This. Literally just bring their damn selves (provided their damn selves are actually decent people and are pleasant to be around)	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 03:04 AM
1	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? Obviously this isn’t true, but it IS true that most man can just get off to “meat sacks”. There’s a reason it’s mostly men buying sex robots or subscribing to OF, ya know?	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 03:03 AM
1	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? Ok. Also this^ I’m not a big porn fan but the times when I have used it, I’ve sought out actors that looked like my current bf or a couple who reminded me of our dynamic in some way and then just self-insert. It’s the same reason I’m drawn only to certain romance movies- the ones that remind me of my partner and I at the time.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 02:59 AM
2	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies? This this this. I can find someone physically attractive, but that doesn’t mean I’m turned on. However, I DO get turned on when my bf sends me sexy photos of his body- bc he’s attached to that body and I’m sexually attracted to him. There’s a mental/emotional component.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/22 02:56 AM
20	Why do women care so much if men care about their age or previous sexual behavior? Yeah. Is OP ok? I can’t speak for all women (tho OP certainly wants to) but personally I put a lot of effort into pursuing my partner and making him feel wanted and happy. And that’s not bc he’s stereotypical hot giga chad or whatever OP wants to think (tho ofc I’m very attracted to him), but bc he’s an insanely awesome person who I actively want to spend my time with?	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/10/22 12:14 AM
32	Why do women care so much if men care about their age or previous sexual behavior? Yeah lol seems like this guy is basically just saying he tries to make women insecure about their ages so they’ll settle for him ?¿? I mean good luck with that buddy lolll	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/10/22 12:07 AM
2	Why do many women no longer desire sex after marriage? This is a great response.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/10/22 04:08 AM
2	Q4W: Do you care whether or not a man has been “run through”? If someone has had a LOT of casual sex it can be a bit of a turn off. I’ve only had sex in LTRs, and while I have a high libido and wouldn’t judge someone for a few hookups (wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to having one myself, though I don’t think it’s the best way to have sex, just haven’t really ever been single long enough to give that a go 😅), I would question if we have the same values in a relationship if our body counts are EXTREMELY different. That being said, I’ve been with people who …	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/09/22 10:05 PM
1	Does a woman's appearance really matter THAT much? That’s great to hear. Feel like that last bit has been key! Finding your tribe in adulthood is so essential to finding partners who also fit into that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/22 06:00 AM
2	Does a woman's appearance really matter THAT much? I’m trying to do that as well❤️ it is definitely possible to work through this stuff, it’s an uphill battle but awareness is a good first step. I’m currently working through things with some therapists and other forms of self-help, and thankfully I’m also with a partner now who is insanely respectful, caring, and has been so patient through my healing process. It absolutely is possible to find true love and acceptance in a healthy relationship with any kind of past, it just requires work on your…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/22 05:57 AM
5	Does a woman's appearance really matter THAT much? I feel for you a lot. I’ve had people assume the same about me, and I came from a similarly abusive caregiver (father) so I’ve put up with a lot of things along the way that I know were wrong now. And when I tell people what I’ve been through, many of them seemed to be shocked BECAUSE I’m attractive, like they can’t understand why I’d need to put up with that or something? But the fact that I had other options never really mattered to me when I was in those scenarios, I was just focused on tryin…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/22 03:52 AM
6	Does a woman's appearance really matter THAT much? Agree with so much of this. I’m a conventionally attractive woman and the looks of the guys I’ve dated have not correlated so much with how loyal they were or how nurturing they were, as much as I maybe thought it would when I was younger (I think some women go for less macho-looking men, either consciously or not, as they strive for a partner who’s going to have these qualities), though there may sometimes be a correlation with them having had a lot of options at one point in their life (like i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/22 03:11 AM
3	Why is it most women view low self esteem in a guy a red flag, but most guys view low self esteem as not a deal breaker? This is pretty accurate, though I think there’s some variables of course. I think the way you described insecure men also applies to people high on the narcissistic spectrum, which makes sense as men tend to become narcissistic more often than women, with most women going in the codependent direction (or other non-dark triad cluster B disorders like borderline or histrionic) (which also fits with what you said about women). Both genders can go either way, but I think society plays a big role in …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/09/22 03:47 AM
1	Why is it most women view low self esteem in a guy a red flag, but most guys view low self esteem as not a deal breaker? Think the good personality bit is key here. Lots of women have insecurities, but the ones who are the most successful, relationship-wise, aren’t super in-your-face about them (meaning people don’t KNOW they’re insecure until they get to know them fairly well). I’ve seen a lot of highly insecure attractive girls get guys for a while if they’re sociable enough, but if their insecurity is completely unevolved and toxic the guys typically don’t stay too long. The really severely insecure girls that …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/09/22 03:42 AM
2	Q4W: Why some of you withhold sex when dating ltr worthy men? Wow. Well, tbh, in regards to the incident with my ex, it WAS rape, bc I actually DID say no but he decided to put his fingers down there anyway and acted like it was a privilege and started having sex with me and quite frankly, the relationship had become extremely volatile at that point (he had kicked me, pinned me down, spat on me, secretly tried to get me pregnant so I’d be forced to stay with him, verbally abused/gaslit constantly, list goes on) and I didn’t feel safe doing anything that wo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/07/22 04:00 AM
2	Q4W: Why some of you withhold sex when dating ltr worthy men? Hahahaha Wtf Who have you been having sex with? Loads of women have enthusiastic sex. There is literally NOT A POINT to sex if it’s not enthusiastic. In the kink community, people go on and on about “enthusiastic consent” from both parties, or else a scene, or ANY kind of sex act within this community, cannot take place. The only times in the past that I have been passive and “allowed” my ex partner to have sex with me were not enjoyable (more a result of coercion) and frankly did not feel conse…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/22 09:01 AM
1	Q4W: Why some of you withhold sex when dating ltr worthy men? Not all people subscribe to this. Women have many different reasons for abstaining from sex at the start of a new relationship, and it’s definitely not all about power dynamics, and it’s NOT easy or pleasurable for them typically.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/22 08:52 AM
1	Q4W: Why some of you withhold sex when dating ltr worthy men? Just popping in to agree with all of this. Narcissists etc especially can mask who they are for SO long, and these guys seem to love whining about baggage (ironic bc most of these guys don’t seem to be too adept at self-reflection and are basically whining about women self-reflecting enough to learn from past mistakes, if they’ve taken the time to heal) but it’s really just life experience. You start to be able to pick up on red flags, but it takes time to see red flags come through.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/22 08:49 AM
2	Q4W: Why some of you withhold sex when dating ltr worthy men? A few of these guys just sound like shitty humans tbh. In general, people DONT look like they do in their best photos 100% of the time. Weight fluctuates a tiny bit, even for supermodels. But if you’re completely turned off by that, your interest in them was CLEARLY entirely shallow, which is literally the point of the women OP is talking about postponing sex, to weed guys like these out. Smh. Another reason to hate online dating.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/22 08:37 AM
1	Q4W: Why some of you withhold sex when dating ltr worthy men? I didn’t wait too too long before having sex with my current partner, but I did purposefully slow us down a bit. For me it was because I had gotten out of a bad relationship fairly recently (which had moved fast in general), which my current partner knew about, and my current partner and I had been good friends for a while. It was a lot changing at once and I still had a lot of baggage to work through, and told him that I liked him a lot and wanted him to know that and didn’t want to stop seeing…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/22 08:30 AM
3	Q4W: Why do women care so much when a man prefers inexperienced/virgin women? For me, it’s the Madonna/whore complex. A lot of the same people who worship women who have low body counts or say they want a virgin ALSO want them to fuck like they have experience. That’s just not possible, even if you do an extensive amount of online research lol, unless your partner is patient and takes the time to teach you. I had only been with one other man prior to my narcissistic ex, and he praised me for not being promiscuous, but then was insanely critical (and often cruel) when I la…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/22 12:07 PM
5	The elephant in the room that women have attempted to get us to ignore: women are not attracted to genuinely nice guys Bullshit. All of my boyfriends have been nice. All of my guy friends (who have had girlfriends) have been nice. Nice as in kind, caring, considerate, empathetic, polite to a degree when it’s called for.. being nice just isn’t their entire personality. Just being a kind person doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to click with someone. Additionally, all my genuinely nice guy friends/boyfriends have never complained about this, bc they’ve got other great attributes that attract people to them AND…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/07/22 05:11 AM
1	A lot of average/below average women have terrible personalities Oh just realized you said this lol. Yes, agreed	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/07/22 02:56 AM
5	A lot of average/below average women have terrible personalities Sometimes the “halo effect” can extend a bit more though.. hotter people may be treated more nicely throughout their lives and therefore may be more likely to be nice. It can work out the opposite way though, where they become more entitled/spoiled bc of their looks, and more attractive people (especially women) may have experienced many other women being ruder to them bc of jealousy, etc… so basically it just runs the gamut lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/07/22 02:55 AM
10	Are men really worthless? Agreed, really interesting take/info.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/07/22 05:28 AM
1	Mommy and daddy issues This is interesting. I have “daddy issues” (which I’ve been working to resolve for most of my life) and my ex had “mommy issues” and we were both SO hyper sexual in our relationship and with other people (I’ve never been super maladaptive with sex, just somewhat risky/impulsive within relationships and a bit exhibitionist/flirtatious and often use sex appeal in my work as an actor, while my ex was a serial cheater, porn-addicted, women-addicted, etc etc). My ex was definitely a malignant covert …	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/07/22 08:01 AM
2	Mommy and daddy issues This is great to hear. I’m from a similarly abusive background (grandiose narcissist father) and have had to do so much work on myself, healing my attachment wounds and correcting codependent behaviors I learned from my mother. It became a really big issue when I got with someone who was also raised by narcissistic parents (his father was mostly absent and mother was abusive) and had become a covert narcissist himself. He would very often project onto me the sins of his mother, even when I had d…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/07/22 07:40 AM
1	Reasons for ignoring texts or delays in responses That makes sense as well, and I prefer that for certain conversations. Just down to personal preference and the given situation	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/22 11:31 PM
4	Reasons for ignoring texts or delays in responses Agreed. We’re way too involved with our phones as a society and technology can be more draining than in-person interaction. I’ll usually have periods of time where I’m very available via text and then periods of time where I’m barely on my phone at all or just don’t feel up to a text back-and-forth, no matter who the person is (my bf and friends/family know they can always call and if I see it I’ll pick up and we’ll chat for a while, or if I don’t have time atm I’ll let them know and just chat v…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/22 08:30 PM
6	Reasons for ignoring texts or delays in responses Same. Honestly it takes a lot of social energy for me personally to craft a thoughtful reply (depending on the text) and so sometimes I’ll take a while to reply. Texting back and forth consistently is somehow more draining than a phone call (if you know the person) or face-to-face, bc you can’t be fully in the moment or something, idk	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/22 08:26 PM
1	Not to take away from what women do, but I do think men do a lot of emotional labor than what’s said What you’ve described does not sound like an ideal partnership to me. A lot of couples nowadays share date planning, house work, etc, and initiating sex is usually just down to who’s got the higher libido (I’m usually the one to initiate in my relationship, which can be a bit frustrating but I understand that it’s just on my mind more often than it’s on my bf’s mind… to begin with anyway;)). Also, I fucking wish my partner would open up more to me. I hate that I feel like I come to him with prob…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/22 06:18 AM
1	[Q4W] Do women get as upset if there are all women at a party like guys do if its a sausageparty? Relatable! It’s the best feeling though when you do finally find a crowd you can actually relate to, that like to talk about the same things you do. The conversations just flow and you feel less pressure to try to force anything	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/22 04:05 AM
2	[Q4W] Do women get as upset if there are all women at a party like guys do if its a sausageparty? Depends on the woman? I mean, I personally think a balanced mix is best, but GNOs are fun as well if that’s what the intention is. And depends on, if there are a few guys there, how they react to being with mostly women. Most of my guy friends can hang with mostly women and have a blast and just elevate the party vibes, but some of them might feel uncomfortable or, if they’re a real asshole, say things that make the girls uncomfortable with no other guys there to balance them out or call them ou…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/22 12:49 AM
1	Do most women acknowledge the fact they have very high standards and that the man they want probably has way less and doesn’t ask for much from a woman? Ooh good point	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/22 11:58 PM
2	Do most women acknowledge the fact they have very high standards and that the man they want probably has way less and doesn’t ask for much from a woman? Lol why do you assume this?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/22 11:54 PM
1	Do most women acknowledge the fact they have very high standards and that the man they want probably has way less and doesn’t ask for much from a woman? They’re also robbing you of a better potential partner/robbing a possible better mate for you of your time. This is why I’m an advocate for staying single as much as possible while you work on your own goals. Chances are you’ll meet someone along the way who fits into your journey, and if you don’t, you can hit the dating scene when you feel secure in your career/mental/emotional health etc, and your future relationships will be better for it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/22 11:52 PM
1	Should you show your weaknesses & vulnerabilities to women that you are dating? If you become the partner that woman wants to have, you will have that woman. There’s more of them out there than you think.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/07/22 03:41 AM
3	Should you show your weaknesses & vulnerabilities to women that you are dating? I don’t think this is true. Any anyway, don’t you want a partner you can be vulnerable around when you need to? Opening up at some point (not the first date, but not only years into the relationship) can be a great bonding experience and a chance to know that your partner truly cares about you/will be a good life partner. You don’t want to have to bottle things up forever, and honestly, from a female perspective, she’ll probably admire that you were able to open up to her.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/22 06:00 PM
1	Daily Community Chat Megathread It is a good way! I think maybe the point is just that if it’s going to happen, it’ll probably happen by a certain point, if you guys are both single. My current partner and I got to be really close friends over a period of like 7 months, but were both in other relationships when we met. We still had crazy chemistry though and everyone around us could see it. He and his ex broke up about 3 months into our friendship, and I broke up with my ex about 6 months in. He had been attracted to me straig…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/22 05:36 AM
1	Daily Community Chat Megathread Who’s to say nerdy women can’t be attractive? Maybe they’re slightly rarer, but there’s plenty out there.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/22 05:12 AM
2	Daily Community Chat Megathread We’ve evolved to be jealous/monogamous. Of course some people are less inclined to it than others, but on a whole humans have selectively bred for monogamous traits. It limits STDs, and has historically meant that men could identify their own progeny and mothers are given support and security whilst raising their child. Ethical non-monogamy absolutely can work though, with the right people.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/22 05:04 AM
1	Daily Community Chat Megathread ^^^ this.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/22 05:02 AM
1	Daily Community Chat Megathread Yikes. Hopefully there’s more trust in a relationship than that… while an attractive person may have more “options” for cheating, it doesn’t necessarily mean they will. People just shouldn’t choose partners that are untrustworthy if they can help it…. And deal with their own jealousy/attachment issues if there’s no reason for it. If there’s no trust relationships generally don’t work out.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/22 04:59 AM
1	Daily Community Chat Megathread You just need to find a partner that has similar healthy habits. Women who are intimidated by physical fitness likely just aren’t confident in themselves/their bodies (unless you’re overly jacked, which can be legitimately unattractive, but isn’t likely if you’re not using steroids/a bodybuilder). I work out a lot and prefer partners who also value health and fitness, just not to the point it takes over their entire personality (there are definitely people like that). It’s all about balance. Tho…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/22 04:55 AM
1	Daily Community Chat Megathread This is a good point. I don’t really know what the answer is, bc I know recommending being a friend first is a tricky topic, but a lot of decent guys just really struggle with first impressions, which is understandable. Pick up lines are the WORST, and most women crave romance happening more organically.. but other than friendships or orchestrated meet-cutes I don’t really know how to make that happen. Confidence always helps though, so maybe the answer is to just go in confident and as authenti…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/22 04:49 AM
5	True or false, women on this sub are more likely NOT representative of the majority of the population but the men on here ARE I’m just tagging along, agreeing with the above. These conversations are like the debates we’d have in my sociology class on crack. The science behind attraction is fascinating, honestly, and while many of the takes on this sub are along that vein, most of the rest of them ARE like watching a train crash. Sometimes I also come to just try to help people who seem to be genuinely struggling/hurting (if my experiences can help someone, I’m all for that). And I’m in a really happy relationship and n…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/22 04:55 AM
1	You read a lot, online especially, about these so called ''Damaged'' women who chase ''bad'' guys or whatever. I'm curious if there's a term for the opposite of this kind of woman. For example, is there a term describing a self-sufficient woman with no time for BS/a career, etc? Do you have any sources for this? Not because I don’t believe you, just would be curious to read them. It makes sense though, I’m just wondering what the link is.. was this last generation of parents more likely to abuse their kids or something? People talk about narcissism becoming an epidemic due to social media, but you’re absolutely right that actual NPD is caused by trauma. So did we just have a whole generation of abusive parents? And where did that come from? Of course it also could just …	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/22 04:36 AM
2	Can body neutrality towards the attractiveness of someone who likes you lead to you being body positive towards their body or level of attractiveness? Agree with all of this. Personality is definitely more important than looks, provided they met a certain baseline for sexual attraction. Ultimately a guy can look like a sex god, but I’m not going to be wanting him to get anywhere near my pants if he’s dull, unintelligent, or unimaginative.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/06/22 12:19 AM
1	are people under estimating the factor of chemistry in attractions?? And to answer your second question… I think it mostly just comes down to compatibility. My partner and I met in drama school, and ofc as an actor I tend to find other committed actors generally attractive and somewhat compatible as long as their ego isn’t ridiculous (though tbh we’ve all got big egos, it’s just usually balanced in the best actors I’ve met by being extremely hard-working, open-minded, and empathetic), though I’ve also dated people who were more scientifically inclined who dabbled…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/06/22 01:16 AM
2	are people under estimating the factor of chemistry in attractions?? Hmm.. well, I’ve definitely stopped for a second to check out some guys in the past. Usually slightly alternative, good-looking guys who are my exact physical “type”, though only two guys I’ve dated have actually been that “type” (with one guy I dated actually trying to transform into that “type”, with no pushing from me for him to do so and not with great success, it’s definitely best and most attractive to just be you and to know what looks flatter you the most). But it’s not like I immediatel…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/06/22 01:52 AM
4	are people under estimating the factor of chemistry in attractions?? Chemistry is definitely crucial. That’s the spark that keeps a relationship (and sex life) exciting! It’s also just a great indicator that you guys have compatible personalities. It doesn’t always work out purely based on chemistry, but it’s an essential component, way more important than physical attraction to me (past a certain baseline, i still need to find them somewhat sexually attractive)	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/06/22 09:08 AM
4	What sort of "intelligence" are women attracted to? Seconding this, will only date guys that are able to hold intellectual conversations. It just gets so fucking boring otherwise. Also intelligence usually goes hand in hand with having at least a decent sense of humor	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/22 06:50 PM
1	Women give terrible dating advice to men, but men give great dating advice to women Ok, so I tell you how I met my boyfriend (it was through uni, we were friends for a while before dating)… doesn’t mean that I started dating him purely out of opportunity, proximity, or lack of options. I was not “in the market” when we met, actually had another boyfriend at the time, and almost every guy I came into contact with/got to know at uni expressed some interest in me or straight up made a pass at me. The reason I went out with my boyfriend in particular (and I actually ended up asking…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/06/22 06:42 AM
1	Women give terrible dating advice to men, but men give great dating advice to women Except.. a lot of women are looking for their ideal mate? Or HVW/attractive women are constantly filtering out guys, both attractive and unattractive, who don’t have certain traits like confidence, humor, intelligence, their own personality/hobbies/etc. I think telling men to self-actualize/build confidence/etc etc is a much better strategy to pull women than any pick up strategy. Certainly has worked out better for my partners than the maybe more stereotypically attractive but shallow/boring me…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/06/22 10:24 PM
4	Unattractive women are more likely to be actively interested I’ll just add that more attractive women are probably more likely to find a partner in person, so there’s most likely much less of them relying on dating apps. That can help account for some of this	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/06/22 05:30 PM
2	Societal Expectations of Dicks Of course not. But it’s still a bit rude- if there were other reasons I would get it, but disappointment at the size is still a bit shallow? Like if that’s a major requirement maybe mention it beforehand or something, idk	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/06/22 11:26 PM
6	Societal Expectations of Dicks Yikes. I’m sorry man, that’s really rude. Sounds like pretty asshole-y women if you ask me, hopefully you’ve just dodged bullets.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/22 11:50 PM
3	Societal Expectations of Dicks Nah, not having sex with a guy with a micropenis is different than not turning someone down because of their size. Like obviously it’s still a size issue, but I think what he’s saying is that anything in the average range usually doesn’t impact a girl’s decision to sleep with someone too much. Which I believe to be true, from what I’ve heard from friends and my own experience.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/22 11:49 PM
1	Women: Are you more attracted to a status-driven man or a purpose-driven man? Ugh, he is definitely grade A. Highly recommended. Hope you find yours!!❤️❤️	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/22 07:36 PM
6	Women: Are you more attracted to a status-driven man or a purpose-driven man? ^ this. If social media is any kind of representation of women as a demographic, it’s definitely skewed. Especially for newer platforms like tik tok	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/22 09:15 AM
6	Women: Are you more attracted to a status-driven man or a purpose-driven man? Definitely prefer purpose-driven men, though I don’t think stoicism is necessarily a requirement. I’ve been attracted to that in the past, but my current partner is an absolute goof in addition to being self-actualized, and I much prefer it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/22 09:14 AM
1	Beautiful women, do you really doubt that most men want to f*ck you or is it just a front to seem humble? Honestly I’ve thought about that a lot. I really want to, because honestly that relationship drained me in every way and I’ve got PTSD now and shit. I’ve looked into it a bit, definitely need to do more research, but I’m not sure how much money I’d be entitled to since he’s already way in debt and living off the government. Plus actually prosecuting him would involve dredging up a lot of traumatic shit… I tried to get a restraining order on him months ago but gave up because the amount of times …	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/22 06:30 AM
3	Beautiful women, do you really doubt that most men want to f*ck you or is it just a front to seem humble? I know it but choose to ignore it, lol. I can be quite oblivious about the obvious signs (like missing certain social cues, stares, or assuming someone is just being kind) which others around me have been quick to point out to me in the past, but have learned to be a bit more self-aware, for better or for worse (I don’t know if I SHOULD be thinking about bending over in front of men etc, but my ex drilled into me that he would always catch our male friends staring). However, knowledge of this “p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/22 03:14 AM
4	Is there truth in this - If a woman doesn't give you her body, she isn't interested in you? As a woman, it depends. I’ve not ever been super interested in hookup culture admittedly, but I can say from personal experience that I do typically want to immediately jump the bones of a guy I am really into. That doesn’t mean I act on it though. Sometimes you need time to process feelings etc, especially if you’re interested in a guy long-term. My current partner and I waited longer than either of us necessarily wanted to to have sex, but I wanted the moment to be right, I wanted to make an a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/22 06:58 PM
1	The vast majority of men would prefer a relationship to constantly trying for hookups. Women however only give their attention to the ones that only want sex. Depends on how well you know each other. I’ve had men break down to me on first dates, crying and telling me how hard it’s been to be single or something, and I’ve just been there awkwardly patting their back and listening. It’s not exactly the greatest first impression and can make you feel extremely uncomfortable. I was friends with my current partner for a while before we got together. I was there the night his ex broke up with him (or they mutually broke up, whatever), and comforted him afte…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/22 02:17 AM
1	The vast majority of men would prefer a relationship to constantly trying for hookups. Women however only give their attention to the ones that only want sex. False. As a pretty nerdy female in a relationship with a pretty nerdy guy, and as someone with nerdy female friends who are in relationships with/married to nerdy guys (none of whom are unattractive btw), this is just false. Being nerdy is fun. And it’s not so far out of the mainstream nowadays. Lot of people like video games, anime, comics, cosplay, etc. Start going to cons and getting to know people. Con culture has changed a lot in the last few years, but I remember when I first started going…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/22 02:05 AM
8	The vast majority of men would prefer a relationship to constantly trying for hookups. Women however only give their attention to the ones that only want sex. That’s not necessarily true. Look at Freddie Prinze Jr and SMG, or Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. I’m sure there are more, but those are always the first that come to mind. They seem like really healthy, loving, loyal couples.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/22 01:58 AM
2	Who was your best sex? Your spouse? Your ex? Your FWB? Your ONS? And, if you had a one time opportunity, would you have sex with that person again? Do you sometimes fantasize about them? To give more context to my original question: my partner (lovingly) suggested recently that I bring up my erm.. admittedly, yes, hypersexual tendencies (strictly within relationships) to my therapist, something I had never considered as I wasn’t really aware that my sex drive etc was that far out of the norm and quite frankly, other things have always taken precedence during my time with my therapist. But it definitely got me thinking about some related stuff I’ve been exploring recently and how…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/22 01:31 AM
2	Who was your best sex? Your spouse? Your ex? Your FWB? Your ONS? And, if you had a one time opportunity, would you have sex with that person again? Do you sometimes fantasize about them? You’re absolutely right, and I typically do, though I haven’t been able to completely avoid it. Sometimes it just takes time to realize what kind of person someone is (I’m talking about male friends here as well as potential partners; have had to drop a lot of guy friends in the last year for this reason). Thankfully though I’ve got a wonderful partner who is patient, kind, and does his best to understand how my brain works, even if it’s baffling to him (and me lol) at times😂 I’m very sorry you’…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/22 12:53 AM
1	Who was your best sex? Your spouse? Your ex? Your FWB? Your ONS? And, if you had a one time opportunity, would you have sex with that person again? Do you sometimes fantasize about them? Uhh.. no? I’ve just always heard this and personally don’t like to be stereotyped so I’m trying to understand said stereotype. Also I said I wasn’t toxic crazy. There’s a lot of people out there with mental health issues, like OCD, trauma, ADHD, etc etc who get help for their mental health issues and it’s just kind of a journey that takes a long time to overcome, but can be overcome nonetheless (and often can lead to healthier relationships in general, as long as the partners are chill with “the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/22 11:03 PM
6	A cool psychology article about how women underestimate men’s romantic interest in them and men overestimate women’s interest in them. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-toxic-or-tender/202206/why-first-moves-go-unnoticed Agreed. Although I will say- romantic relationships can and do blossom out of friendships. It’s just only likely to happen within a certain time period. That’s how my current bf and I got together… it probably would’ve happened a lot sooner had we both been single when we met, but we were both in other relationships, got to be friends, he and his ex broke up, we got to be really close friends, then I broke up with my ex and we got together not too long after. 🤷🏼‍♀️ it be like that sometimes, the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/22 04:25 AM
1	Who was your best sex? Your spouse? Your ex? Your FWB? Your ONS? And, if you had a one time opportunity, would you have sex with that person again? Do you sometimes fantasize about them? Out of curiosity, what kind of drama are you referring to with your exes? Been interested recently in the idea that that crazy chicks have better sex or whatever and am wanting to dig in to some of the related patterns (I’m a “crazy chick” myself by nature of having ocd and a weird traumatic past, albeit not a toxic one, but I’m curious about what that title typically entails and which qualities “crazy chicks” possess that make the sex different from “normie” sex)	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/22 04:08 AM
1	Women CONSTANTLY reiterate the axiom that “the standards for men are at an all time low” and that “the bar is on the floor. ” This is not only total bullshit, but an enormous slap in the face to the vast majority of males who are good people, many of whom are attractive and successful. True	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/22 06:23 PM
2	Women CONSTANTLY reiterate the axiom that “the standards for men are at an all time low” and that “the bar is on the floor. ” This is not only total bullshit, but an enormous slap in the face to the vast majority of males who are good people, many of whom are attractive and successful. Lol, can relate, you’re not wrong	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/22 04:20 AM
2	Women CONSTANTLY reiterate the axiom that “the standards for men are at an all time low” and that “the bar is on the floor. ” This is not only total bullshit, but an enormous slap in the face to the vast majority of males who are good people, many of whom are attractive and successful. I’ve been through some very similar stuff. Just seconding all of this^^^	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/22 04:12 AM
2	Women CONSTANTLY reiterate the axiom that “the standards for men are at an all time low” and that “the bar is on the floor. ” This is not only total bullshit, but an enormous slap in the face to the vast majority of males who are good people, many of whom are attractive and successful. You’re not entirely wrong. Attractive people are more likely to have been treated well most of their life, and are therefore less likely to be bitter, insecure, etc… a lot of this is down to the individual of course but in general this would make sense	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/22 04:09 AM
1	Women CONSTANTLY reiterate the axiom that “the standards for men are at an all time low” and that “the bar is on the floor. ” This is not only total bullshit, but an enormous slap in the face to the vast majority of males who are good people, many of whom are attractive and successful. Unless they’re a covert narcissist! Some people can fake things like kindness, empathy, decency etc for a good long while— long enough to fool someone into falling for them and at that point it can be difficult to leave the relationship.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/22 04:06 AM
1	Women are not the romantic gender, men are. I get that. Though I do think sex can be romantic… there’s different kinds of sex and different ways to be physically intimate. And I appreciate the advice but I didn’t list everything I do, like surprising him with thoughtful gifts or organizing a surprise party for him with his friends. I should ask him what he thinks his love language is tho (pretty sure it’s physical touch and acts of service but I think we’re both pretty good about using all the love languages).	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/22 05:32 PM
1	As a guy Imma be honest, I think more guys should really work on self-establishment and self-actualization before getting into any relationship, even if it isn't serious Lol, well said. Reminds me of “nice guys”, the ones who think you owe them something just because they’re nice or do the “right” things. Most of those guys that I’ve met are completely boring. Like they may have some special interests but it’s like anything interesting and individual about them goes out the window as soon as they spot a pair of pants they want to get into. If you don’t have a firm sense of self or you get too nervous around girls you want to fuck to have decent conversation, you…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/22 02:29 AM
8	Women are not the romantic gender, men are. Tbh, fair enough, I feel like being generous in the bedroom is kind of indicative of other things. Skill comes down to experience though, so I’d say a more important quality is a willingness to learn/desire to treat the other partner well (in the bedroom and out).	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/22 02:16 AM
6	Women are not the romantic gender, men are. Aww this is sad. I try to be romantic with my partners: cooking them meals, thinking up nice dates, lighting candles before they come over, lingerie etc… a lot of women do stuff like that. The problem here may just lie with the kind of women men are attracted to, or where they’re finding these women. Everyone has positive and negative qualities, but women who are generally more introspective and thoughtful are probably more likely to be romantic long-term… you’ve just got to look for those trait…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/22 02:10 AM
2	As a guy Imma be honest, I think more guys should really work on self-establishment and self-actualization before getting into any relationship, even if it isn't serious I definitely understand that that’s a challenge. It depends on what your interests are, but I’d definitely say to start there. I’m a bit of a nerd and met some past dates at conventions, or through being introduced to people via family or friends.. parties/mixers with other people in your same line of work or at your school can be great places to meet people, even events like concerts, plays, games etc if you’re gregarious.. I guess really my advice would be to just get out there and do things t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/22 09:49 PM
4	As a guy Imma be honest, I think more guys should really work on self-establishment and self-actualization before getting into any relationship, even if it isn't serious That’s not necessarily true— admittedly I’m an artist and the majority of people I tend to encounter at events, parties, work etc tend to be other artistic types, actors directors etc, (and therefore also tend to be somewhat confident, charismatic, and possibly sensitive) but the most beautiful, confident women I know (who some might dub “girlfriend material” or “wifey”, though that doesn’t mean they’re not sexually adventurous— unless you’re looking at religious girls, which is actually my back…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/22 06:13 PM
5	As a guy Imma be honest, I think more guys should really work on self-establishment and self-actualization before getting into any relationship, even if it isn't serious You should still know who you are though. I’m not saying it’s mandatory for finding a partner, there are definitely people out there looking for companionship and intimacy at all times. But knowing yourself will help you to find a high quality partner who is also self-actualized— and the relationship will typically be more fruitful as a result, with better communication (as a result of knowing yourselves and your goals and how to be the best version of yourself FOR yourself and not just for your…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/22 04:41 PM
14	As a guy Imma be honest, I think more guys should really work on self-establishment and self-actualization before getting into any relationship, even if it isn't serious I’m going to throw in my two cents here— a guy who knows himself, who has done work to educate himself and heal past traumas/become the best version of himself, is a MUCH more attractive partner, and therefore finding a more self-actualized, confident, and even physically attractive partner becomes much easier. Attractive women have more options and so long as you’re not extremely unhealthy physically, these other qualities will put you over the top if you’re running in circles with women you ac…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/22 04:38 PM
1	Have you even had a hookup/relationship with a man considered ugly? I don’t know about UGLY, at least I don’t think so, but all my partners have been considered below my league or whatever physically. But they had minds/humor/wit/personalities that made them extraordinary to me and all took care of themselves physically to some extent and that was enough for me to be crazy about them. Some men seem to spend a lot of time whining about why good-looking girls always go for chads etc.. that’s never been my type, but I’ve always wondered why those guys don’t just sp…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/04/22 01:33 AM