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bungleweed Archive

View 0 posts and 93 comments by bungleweed on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Sell it dude. Find a jewellers that buys rings etc. Maybe visit a few and see who offers the most for it. Not much hassle really. You won’t get what you paid for it but you’ll get something back at least!
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 01:36 PM
11

Not sure how old you are etc but I’ve found what really helped me post divorce is running. Man that stuff releases some crazy feel good hormones. You don’t need to run that far or that fast to get those either but the sense of continuous improvement you get from it propels you forwards. Just push yourself a bit. Boosts your energy levels, improves your overall mental health so much and I just think also helps with everything generally. Then I think you’re best self for whatever you want out of l…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 09:55 AM
3

If you don’t have kids I think you need to go no contact. You ain’t going to move on like this. Accept it’s over. Yes it’s hard, yes it’s sad and difficult but you owe it to yourself now to do this. Be strong and do it! Your future self will thank you. All this back and forth is pointless. She’s just playing you and deflecting the blame on to you. Don’t fall for it and try and move on now. You don’t need any more answers or closure. You already have it and her actions will always be far more tel…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 06:45 PM
1

Those are valid reasons to be hesitant, especially the fact you have a daughter at that age. I think you need to really decide if you can/want to do another 6 years like this. That’s a personal choice and there’s no shame in holding on until your child is older. Also there is no shame is calling it a day either. Her family should understand especially if there’s no infidelity involved., don’t do that! They’ll be disappointed and concerned for their grandchild but you don’t have to say in a lovel…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 07:57 AM
3

We live in a throw away culture now my friend. When the going gets rough it’s easier for some to bail than work on things together and work through them. You’re aren’t the first or the last. It’s a testament of character more than a reflection of the relationship. It is important to understand not everyone has this character though. Don’t get jaded into thinking like that. I get it but there’s still some good people out there. Just got to make sure the next serious one is one of those.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 11:17 PM
3

I think you need some time alone now to process and grieve the marriage. Just my advice. Other women are just a distraction to avoid the pain / hurt but you can’t out run it forever. Many try and I get it. It’s fun don’t get me wrong but you’ll still have to process the feelings and come out the other side. Good luck with it, it’s hard when it’s not what you wanted. Stay strong.💪
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 11:13 PM
1

You got kids? I only ask as 6 years is a long time to be pondering over this. It’s a lot harder to walk away from a marriage with kids in my view. Not saying you shouldn’t/can’t but it does make it harder in my view. The fact you’ve been feeling this way this long tells you all to need to know. I guess I’m asking what is holding you back? Genuinely what is it. Afraid of hurting her? Afraid of being alone? You love her despite her faults? Afraid of the financial fallout? What is it? Maybe sharing…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 10:56 PM
6

Ain’t much better in the UK mate 😂
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 10:20 PM
2

Good advice……
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 10:22 PM
2

You’re not alone with this feeling guys. A lot of people feel exactly this way in similar situations. I can relate to the work and kids stuff and what’s left in the tank isn’t much. Not sure if that helps at all but just thought I’d say it. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 08:51 PM
2

Good for you. Divorce her ASAP. Get the 50% custody and continue to be a great Dad. You’ll have peace soon enough my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 07:32 PM
8

Well……my kid always wants both parents there. This goes for birthdays, school events etc. School events are tricky as most are one offs and if your kid wants you both there they can’t really run 2 of them! So I just suck it up as kids come first. My ex cheated too but my mindset is it’s about my child. We’re able to be civil though, not everyone can do that. As others have said your milage may vary. That’s just me though. If your child is indifferent about having both parents at these things and…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 05:14 PM
2

Best divorce her then. Lawyer up and get it done.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 06:10 PM
3

So the dead bedroom situation that’s the key issue? I don’t mean that lightly, it’s really important factor in a marriage and is grounds for many to walk away. I’m asking because if she fixed that would the marriage then potentially be good and survive? I ask because quite a few here have replied about hormones and perimenopause etc, has she been checked out for all that? Do you know why she doesn’t want to have sex? Have you talked about it often? If she’s not willing to change and try things t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:40 PM
6

This doesn’t just sound like it’s about sex. You said you provide, cook, clean and do all the things. What does she bring to table? Sex is important in any marriage but it also sounds unbalanced to me in general from what you said. Might be wrong as you’ve only shared so much info.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 02:21 PM
2

Yes that’s important to remember. Just being realistic about your situation. Not all women are like this of course! Don’t let this experience define you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 08:12 PM
8

Your situation sadly isn’t unique. This has happened to countless men here. You’ll never understand why but your thoughts on it probably aren’t too far from the truth. Ultimately it doesn’t matter why mate. She did what she did and now you don’t recognise the person she is. Same old story I’m afraid. What I think you do need to hear is it’s not your fault. This ain’t about you, it’s about her. Marriage is meant to be about partnership and the rough with the smooth. What she did is unacceptable, …
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 05:22 PM
3

I think anger is a fair and normal human emotion to have. It’s what you do with it that counts and how you manage it. Do you have a positive outlet for it? Gym, punch bag that type of thing. It’s good to let it out but in a positive way. BTW awesome job not showing it in front of the kids. Good role model as a Father. See if you can find a way to feel the anger, channel it and let it out in good healthy ways not negative. Suppressing it won’t help either. It will just bubble away, which is proba…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 02:25 PM
9

It’s not just menopause. Mid life crisis divorce is real. It’s happened to many people I know now. Chicks hitting late 30s to mid 45s just deciding they don’t want the life they have, so they blow it all up; cause they can!
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 04:36 PM
7

Don’t think I’ll bother again. Not even sure I’d live with a chick again. Just have your own houses / setup and date if that’s what you want to do. No need rush into a cohabitation scenario or marriage again. Especially if you have children etc. If you’re going to do it again get a bloody prenup!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 04:11 PM
2

I think it’s harder when you have kids together. You can’t just go no contact and you want to establish a good amicable co-parenting arrangement for your children (very important). My advice is this. Trust it gets easier with time and you’ll end up caring less and less about her, her voice and her actions (as long as they aren’t detrimental to your children). Take a step back. What’s really ultimately important in the context of all this….. Being the best Father you can be. If you’re doing that …
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 08:53 PM
3

Awesome isn’t it. I’m a much better Dad now. I wasn’t a bad Dad before by any stretch, it’s just our bond now is next level and I’m now enjoying our time together and parenting now. My son fills me with far more joy than my marriage ever did.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 06:41 PM
1

What’s the situation with your child and custody then? Can you seek legal help so you can have your child 50:50?
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 11:52 PM
1

That isn’t a long time post divorce really anyway considering you were blindsided. It will take more time to heal. Cut yourself some slack on that. I’m in a similar boat to you. Happened to me as well. I’ve kept my house, it far too big for just me but it’s home for my son and I. It’s his home and I wanted to keep that for him. Why not change things up a bit, but some new stuff and maybe redecorate a bit. Make it feel like yours more then and not something from your past. Even a few small touche…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 11:45 PM
1

Any other joint things like credit cards or other accounts she can overdraw? I’d expect more drama coming your way tbh. Make sure you change all the locks dude and if you have a car make sure she can’t take that in case she has a spare key or something. Change passwords on WiFi and any account she might have had access to. You can never be too careful in these situations.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:37 PM
3

You sound a bit co-dependent to me. You said she gets drunk and is kind of abusive. Not someone you really want to be with is it if you were writing out a list of things you ideally want in a partner. The things you say you’ve done wrong are not that bad or grounds to end your relationship. So stop blaming yourself ok. Telling her smoking is wrong when she’s pregnant is not a bad thing! Sounds like she twisted that back around on to you. Getting a bit Jealous, again not exactly legit reason to s…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 01:21 PM
2

I got a bit screwed by this in my divorce but this was in UK not America. Rather than an amount in terms of £/$ a percentage was agreed. So when the pension sharing order actually eventually happened after the final order half the money paid into my pension since the separation date went to her, like 12 months of extra pension payments. It was a lot as I’d had a good year at work! That could be worse as often these things can drag on, 12 months wasn’t too bad compared to some. So my advice would…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 09:29 AM
1

Literally the playbook of what not to do. Harsh I know. Hope it all works out though for you OP genuinely as it sounds like you deserve to be happy. Hope you sort things with your kids too.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 07:28 PM
1

Well that’s quite funny then 😂
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 07:23 PM
1

Get some therapy. A good one will help you reframe how you perceive your ex and help you move on quicker.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 10:06 PM
2

I think what was loneliness eventually becomes solitude and you’ll actually enjoy the alone time. Just balance that with hobbies and friends to a healthy level. Then you’ll see you don’t really need a relationship to be happy/content. Takes time but you’ll get there if you allow yourself the proper alone time. It’s worth it once you do get there and many here will testify to that. Too many people think a new relationship will help them due to the new void in their lives. Often it doesn’t and jus…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 10:02 PM
2

Would a co-parenting app help here vs her just chatting any old shizz she wants to you. There’s a reason she’s sending you that nonsense, obvs to make you jealous. I think you need to enforce some boundaries though. Maybe say if you cannot stop this we will have to use this app only around communication for child related matters from now on. Also I did like someone’s comment on sending those to her parents, she would soon shut up then 😂
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 09:53 PM
2

You should still do this regardless of whether you decide to attend the other party or not. It will be a nice get together with your family and your daughter anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 09:48 PM
2

Well. If it was important to my child that I was there I’d just have to suck it up and go. So I’d probably do that even though it would be hard. If your ex has any class or empathy there won’t be much PDA and she’d want to make sure you attend for your child. So making you feel like crap deliberately wouldn’t be in your child’s best interest. Only you know what she’s like. If you do go just make sure you got a plan so you don’t spiral afterwards. It will be hard seeing them together for sure. Bu…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 07:24 PM
2

Don’t do this. It’s petty.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 07:15 PM
7

Hey man, sorry to hear this. From what you’ve said it could well be she was having an affair. Quick changes in attitude and behaviours are usually indicative of this. Anyway I guess it doesn’t really matter ultimately. Women do this stuff for all kinds of reasons but once they’ve checked out it’s done. Work on yourself, get therapy if you need it. Might help with the unresolved questions you have to talk that through with a professional and they can get some peace of mind eventually. Rest assure…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 03:04 PM
2

Took mine off the day she told me she wanted to separate. Chucked it in a bin at the park. Pointless dragging these things out if it’s done. I then got her engagement and wedding ring back and sold them. Used the money towards my son’s school fees, so at least it went towards something for him, which she couldn’t argue with! 😀
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 04:13 PM
3

I’m sorry but you need to really decide whether you want to live the rest of your life unhappy like this or man up and divorce her. You can’t even watch Game of Thrones because there’s some T&A in it, it’s not like you’re wanting to watch p0rn here. You need to get some self esteem back and for goodness sake if you get into a new relationship post divorce make sure you set appropriate boundaries and communicate your wants and needs. If you don’t you’ll just end up full of resentment again. The b…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 04:12 PM
2

Man. 5 years that is so rough dude. I am very sorry you’re going through this. Don’t do this questioning stuff. You won’t get any straight answers from a cheater. It pointless. If I were you I’d skip it all and bail on this marriage. I know you have a kid but you I think you’ll really struggle to move past this betrayal and rebuild trust. If it were me knowing what I know now I’d split and get the divorce done quickly on the best terms possible for you. Hopefully she feels so guilty she’ll not f…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 10:14 PM
1

What do you like doing? In terms of potential hobbies. Let’s start here.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 06:10 AM
2

100% yes.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 09:33 PM
3

Well. Divorce her. That sex sounded like a chore! If you want to get in on the party you need to get in decent shape. You’ll have the opportunity to do that so go put the work in and the rewards will come.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 08:00 PM
1

https://www.verywellfamily.com/children-of-divorce-in-america-statistics-1270390 Might be worth a read OP.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 08:22 PM
1

Those statistics largely depend on the age of the child at the time of divorce. Younger children tend to do better. The stats are also surely dependent on a number of variables like whether there is a positive, well structured co-parenting arrangement in place. Sadly that’s not always the case for many children of divorce and many grow up hardly seeing one of their parents etc. Not sure what the stats are on how children turn out in homes of those not happily married. Guess there aren’t as many …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 08:08 PM
0

Does your wife work ? Also dead bedroom? You seriously need to be thinking that divorce is in the cards here. Kids are far more resilient than you think. If you can go your separate ways and be good co-parents no need to think it will affect them long term. Especially if they are young. Plenty of kids from divorced homes turn out absolutely fine these days. Would you stay with her if you didn’t have children? I know that’s not the situation here but staying just for the kids isn’t something you …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 08:52 AM
17

Why worry about dating at all? Just do you. I’ve zero interest in women after my divorce and I expect it will stay that way for some time longer if not indefinitely. It’s not important though as long as you’re happy, content and whole. Getting to that point after divorce is the goal. You don’t need a significant other to achieve that. Too many people rely on having a relationship to feel happy and complete, it’s nonsense peddled on us by the media, movies and love songs over many years.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 01:14 PM
3

On this point. A famous comedian named Micky Flanagan in the UK said this. Women, they can either make a nice sandwich but are crap in bed, or they are great in bed but bat shit crazy. Something like that. Made me laugh. If we’re left with the crazies might as well enjoy it for what it is 😀 I think OP you’re better off finding someone in IRL via friend of friend kind of thing; as odds on dating apps are just not in your favour.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 08:21 PM
5

I agree with this. I have my kid 50:50 and there is no way I’m introducing him to someone after 4-5 months! You can easily separate your dating life and your parenting life if it’s 50:50. Come on! Bit different if you have your children more than 50% of the time of course.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 08:11 PM
3

Well OP totally feel you with what you’ve said. Exactly the same here. Expand your circle of friends and hobbies etc. Focus on that vs these dating apps.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 06:06 PM
6

Don’t think you’re alone in how you’re feeling. I’ve been officially divorced for a year now almost. Last thing I’m interested in right now is women or relationships. Even something casual doesn’t really appeal right now. Did that when separated for a bit, got bored of it. Better and more fulfilling things to do with life than chase women and put up with their emotional nonsense. Enjoy being single for now and see how you feel a little down the line. Just know you’re not alone in how you feel, I…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 08:48 PM
7

You’re not crazy to be upset about it. However I think you need to focus on your daughter and having her full time at home can only be a great thing. Put your energy into that and yourself. Try not to focus on what your ex is doing. It’s irrelevant now.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 09:55 PM
2

Dude it happens. Cut yourself some slack. Break it off ASAP and get to healing more. Have some alone time; it will do you good.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 09:31 PM
1

Think they’ll take into account any guaranteed income now and in the not too distant future. Normally a full financial disclosure looks at only your current guaranteed income though at the time. Someone else will probably know for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 10:22 PM
1

Yes makes sense. At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what they say and it’s pointless trying to make sense of any of it anyway. Glad you got out OK.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 11:32 PM
2

Sounds like my experience and divorce in a nutshell but I luckily didn’t do the cuddling bit! Great post OP, solid advice and actions. Good tips on the dating apps too, been victim to those using old photos a few times 😀 You live and learn there. 14 years young than your ex, well played sir 💪
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 10:09 PM
1

Yeah I was full time and have my kid 50:50 so I’m pretty busy. I’m pretty clean and tidy round the house but i pay a cleaner to do 2 hours a week and to me it makes a huge difference and is worth every penny. She does the kitchen, bathrooms, ironing and hoovering. Basically the stuff I don’t really want to spend my limited down time doing. Highly recommend it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 10:02 PM
2

One day at a time right now dude. It does and will get easier but it’s a rough ride to start. You’ll be ok though. Read the advice here.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:58 PM
1

If she’s not exploring new dick already she wants to and I’m afraid to say you’re Plan B right now. I know this really hurts to hear but it’s most likely the reality. A woman doesn’t blow up a good marriage and ask for space for no reason (esp if you have kids) and not without seriously thinking that over for some time first. Get yourself a lawyer and start to plan for the worst. At least then you’ll know where you stand legally and you don’t need to action anything yet, just be ready to. Focus …
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:56 PM
9

This might be harsh OP but you’re a bit of a scumbag. Cheated on a good woman and your family and you’re all woe is me. Seriously? I think with young children a lot of couples end up like roommates. That’s when you have to weather the storm and put the work into your marriage vs thinking with your d1ck. You failed to do that. Reap what you sow.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:36 PM
1

Do you think this happens because women are sold a misrepresented view of what they are entitled to? Quite often this seems to happen when they falsely believe they can get more than half the assets or a fair division of the assets. I was lucky with my divorce, we were able to amicably agree everything and avoid heavy legal costs.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:31 PM
3

OP this is some damn good insight. Read it and fully take it in.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:20 PM
2

Thank god the murals and unnecessary soft furnishings are gone. No one needs that shit in their lives 😀 Sounds like an awesome life now. Lesson for everyone here, hang in there, do the self work and good times are ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 11:07 PM
6

Juice ain’t worth the squeeze is it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 08:38 PM
2

Good you don’t have kids in this situation. Glad she’s going to be OK. I don’t think you should blame yourself for telling her the truth and how you feel. People fall out of love and that’s OK if you’ve truly done your best to make things work. That’s different to people who have affairs / cheat and just blow up marriages for excitement because they are bored or decide they don’t want to work on things as the grass is greener. You cannot make yourself love someone. Your wife deserves the truth a…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 10:41 PM
3

Lawyer up and get rid of the trash. You won't regret it long term, esp if you can do at least 50% custody. Simple.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 05:49 PM
5

Couldn’t give 2 shits about Valentine’s Day yesterday. Wasn’t important. Glad I didn’t have to do any of that Bollox this year 😀 Went all out for Pancake day though here in the UK. Made my son a giant pancake which he loved.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 10:35 PM
1

Dude you need to divorce her. End of. Not point dragging this out any longer trying to second guess her mental state and hoping she’ll change back. Ain’t happening. Been here, done that. Happier divorced. Get it done and move on. Be the best Dad and man you can be.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 10:44 PM
2

I thought this, so he’s doing half nights and the days. Then she’s still moaning about it all and using it as a reason to say the marriage isn’t working. Don’t be taken for a ride OP. If she’s not depressed (I doubt it’s that from what you’ve said but needs to be ruled out) then she doesn’t respect you and that’s always the beginning of the end. Be mindful she might have already checked out and she’s just sorting the remainder of her plan out. I would start planning on the basis separation is co…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 12:50 PM
3

That’s a long time with that type of lacklustre sex my man. Better things await trust me! Just don’t rush into dating again, give yourself some time first and keep it casual!
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 11:39 PM
3

I see you filed. Good for you. That is 100% the right thing to do here. Well done. This gives you control and your self respect. Hard road ahead buddy but you will navigate it and come out stronger. Stick to your guns my man and set boundaries. Do not let her manipulate you now, stick with your decision. Can’t believe the nerve of some women these days! Honestly gaslighting you into making out you’re out of order when she’s cheating. An emotional affair is still cheating and she openly said she’…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 11:15 PM
2

This is solid advice.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 11:09 PM
3

Well….this has happened to a lot of us here. Blindsided and all the rest of it. Just a heads up I’d be surprised if there wasn’t someone else in the picture. Women don’t tend to just blow up a good relationship unless they’ve got something else lined up and think the grass is greener elsewhere. You need to focus on your child, do all things a great Dad should do even if you don’t feel like doing them. This is so important. You want to look back and try and be proud of how you held it together fo…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 10:59 PM
1

Need some common sense here. People should do the required diligence on their health if they have a condition or haven’t exercised in a while before starting any new regime. I think it’s taken as given that doesn’t need to be spelled out every time. I think in general exercise is good and gaining muscle does improve confidence. Of course it’s not a panacea is it but it’s part of many things people should be doing alongside specific things for their mental health. Holistic approach required.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 10:51 PM
1

How long were you married ?
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 10:47 PM
10

Why return the Xbox? Who cares if she flips and what she thinks now. She needs to get used to it! As long as your kids are good I wouldn’t return it and she can get hump all she wants! Hardly think it would be a legal issue that you’ve bought an Xbox. Not like it’s a new car or something! You’re just kicking the can down the road cause once she’s served she’s going to flip out. You need a plan for that if you’re going to live together then for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 10:33 PM
2

Good for you. Yes you’re still young and have whole life ahead. Sort the basics for now, lawyer, finances, place to live etc. Now is not the time for big decisions, all that can come soon. Spend a bit of time alone and working on yourself. Then you can make the big decisions with a clear focussed mind and do what is best for you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 04:06 PM
3

I WFH and I’m divorced. What’s the question? 😀
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 11:33 PM
2

Dude you really need to accept your marriage is over. Harsh as that sounds I think you need to hear this. There is no reconciliation on the cards and even if you did reconcile things would never be the same and it would just eat away at you. Until you fully accept this you’re going to be stuck torturing yourself. It also seems to me you spend way too much time with your ex. You need to reduce this massively so you can start to heal from everything that has happened. Do things for your kids by yo…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 12:11 AM
3

Yes I understand that and it’s the same situation for a lot of people here that were blindsided and or found out their partners were having affairs etc. However, if you do reconcile could you trust her again? Would things ever be the same again. Most probably not. Hard road an ahead and you need to reach out for support to help you through it. Therapy would probably really help you accelerate your healing process if you can afford / get it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 10:22 AM
1

If she’s with someone else why would you want to reconcile. You’d be doing it for all the wrong reasons. Reach out to people, if they contact you respond!
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:47 AM
3

Think it’s normal to feel like that. I was similar. Give it time and those kind of feelings will go away. Does go to show you are not ready for any serious. Give yourself a good break from relationships for a while, will do you good. Keep it casual.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:44 AM
3

Dude it’s over and has been in her head for some time I expect. When things get to this stage it’s done. She’s using you for resources and you’re Plan B if the grass isn’t as green as she thinks. She wants a nice soft landing into her new life without you. Suck it up over Christmas for the kids sake and then she needs to leave after that. You need to get a lawyer ASAP. Therapy for your marriage will be a waste of money and time. Use that for yourself to get therapy if you feel you need it! Sorry…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 10:03 AM
1

I did. Mainly because she was riddled with guilt about her affair. So I made sure to get the divorce done fast on the best terms for me and my son. I was probably in hindsight quite lucky compared to most I see here. If you can be amicable that’s best for all and you’ll probably save a lot in legal fees. However it’s not always possible of course but if the option is there that’s the way to go.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 09:54 AM
6

Agree sounds like you’re Plan B and she’s just making sure you’re still there for her if she decides she wants you again. Now, do you have kids? If not then why are you still communicating like this with a woman that initiated divorce? I know it’s harsh and you still care about her but what’s best for you is to minimise contact if you don’t have children. Be selfish here; you didn’t initiate this and she could have stopped things before it got to this stage, or even worked on things with you bef…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 10:40 PM
3

Well. Does it matter really? I don’t mean that in a horrible way but what if she is reacting things. What does change? Unless you get can her to realise this and get help / therapy it doesn’t really change your situation. So if you can’t do that and she won’t accept the help then your option really is to wait it out but for how long? This sub is full of wives that changed suddenly over night and left their husbands, usually with other romantic interests involved. Are you sure there’s no affair p…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 10:02 PM
3

Not sure I would go to the lengths of shaking his hand, why do that? I don’t think it’s necessary and a bit of a simp move if he’s the AP etc. However I’d remain cool, calm and polite and just focus your attention and energy on your kids. I do like the fact you’re not negative about him or your ex in front of your kids. That’s the right thing to do and credit to you for that. Well played. Hope it goes well OP. You got this! Btw your ex introducing your kids to him without asking you is pretty pa…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 09:48 PM
5

Yes makes sense. Plus women just have more options than men in general to move on quickly with if they so desire, plus as you say they tend to have better support groups around them to meet their needs. It’s harder for men make the adjustment and it takes time. My advice is embrace the time alone, it will suck for many for while but it will get a lot better. OP you’re still in love with who your ex was not who she has become. You’ll move in time and it will get easier and you’ll find yourself th…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 09:39 PM
1

Dude same thing has happened to many of us on here. Same lies, betrayal etc. it will naturally take time to feel better about it but you will eventually. There’s some positive things you can do to accelerate the healing but don’t rush it. Don’t rush out into dating and another relationship to fill the hole either. That never ends well. Do the work on yourself and you’ll come out better and stronger than ever.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 10:21 AM
1

Dark days dude but trust me it will get better. Keep trucking on and everything will eventually fall into place. Holidays aren’t a great time for what you’re going through but get through those. I’d keep the booze to a minimum when you can, it doesn’t help.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 07:43 PM
1

Best advice here is this. Your marriage is done, sorry. So from someone that has been there I’m telling you this is the best thing to do. Grey Rock her. Cancel those bloody credit cards now! Then get a lawyer and get the ball rolling on the divorce. Play it right now and you might well end up being able to get a better deal and get it done quick whilst she’s distracted with this other guy. Trust me, you might not feel like doing any of this right now but when you look back in a year you’ll be so…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 07:08 PM
11

You need to go no contact, or as much as you can if you have children and co-parent. If you don’t have children there is no reason for you to be directly contacting her now, it won’t help and will just serve to keep you in this state / cycle of emotional pain. Do yourself a favour and cut the contact off; seriously. Begging, pleading etc just makes you look weak and prolongs your healing and certainly won’t suddenly compel your ex to reconcile. Focus your energy on self improvement and healing. …
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 01:28 PM
5

Well if the house is in both of your names why can’t you get your stuff whenever you want? Why are you letting her dictate when you can access your own home and belongings? Speak to a lawyer and get this sorted. I suspect there will be drama whatever you do. Do you really care that much what people in the neighbourhood think? Up to her if she causes a scene. Why do you care? If you’re worried there might be false accusations and legal ramifications could you not mitigate that by having someone e…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 06:41 PM
4

Don’t do this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 11:40 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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