| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 181 | Respect - A view on men who change it up after you reject a lowball offer/date | STRATEGY | bunny-bunny- | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 05:23 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 23 | That’s right. Bye LVM!Maya Angelou has been my inspiration since I left my NVM ex and became a single mom. She is a great HVW role model - her autobiography makes for great reading | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 03:56 PM |
| 2 | Don't be afraid to use your voice.I’m glad you found my suggestions useful! My favourite class in my undergraduate psych degree was critical social psychology - basically the body of knowledge critiquing the mainstream quantitative paradigm. So if you’re looking for a course, that may be one way to find one that teaches the kind of material you’re interested in. In terms of other reading, my favourite text from that course was ‘Throw like a girl’ by Iris Young, its a book of her feminist essays. I dont know what happened to femi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 03:47 PM |
| 2 | Don't be afraid to use your voice.You may like this book https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Women-Data-World-Designed/dp/1419729071 I havent read it, but it is meant to be good. Its about the bias against women in research. You may also be interested to read about the post-modern turn in the social sciences, which was influenced by feminism at the time and spoke about the unacknowledged assumptions that drive the supposedly ‘objective’ quantitative model of scientific research. This was the birth of qualitative methodology in the … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 03:10 PM |
| 5 | PSA Their new tricks (to get us to chase them) + Discussion (time policy)Just as you naturally use open body language with people you want to connect with, you can use closed body language with people you dont want to connect with. Most people respond to body language before they even know it. For most people, body language is a function of what they are feeling. So you can help yourself to adopt closed body language by getting into the feeling state of ‘stay the fuck away from me’. It’s kind of like driving defensively. You get extra aware of what’s going on around … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 06:36 AM |
| 37 | Don't be afraid to use your voice.What is the actual evidence for this? If it was a cross-sectional study, then they can’t use it as a causal explanation. Sure, men’s brains may tune women out, but that doesnt mean that the biological drives the behaviour or that it is simply ‘too difficult’ physically for men to hear women. It could be the other way around, where this is just evidence of how the culturally learned habit of tuning women out and not listening to what they have to say actually goes so far as affecting men’s brains… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 06:05 AM |
| 1 | “Stop accepting what you don’t want to settle for and go find you someone who can give you what you want.”I’m sorry you got fucked around with, but its great to hear you found a wonderful husband. Thank you for sharing your story here. This helps younger/less experienced women benefit from your experience. Character often takes time to be apparent, and we often only learn truths like these over time. Sharing our stories helps other women understand whats what, so they can see through these clowns and not be taken for a ride. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 10:13 PM |
| 3 | I used to love this subreddit, but it's become a little too much for me recently...I agree there is some anti-woman sentiment even here, in the most radical of feminist spaces. It makes me sad that the narrative of the ‘crazy woman’ is sometimes promoted here. Take a post the other day, in which the focus of a video was entirely on the woman’s response to what was probably years of LVM abuse and mistreatment. The tone was to mock her for allowing it rather than looking at what the man did to her. Congratulations everyone who upvoted that. You adopted the same misogynistic narr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 06:40 PM |
| 4 | “Stop accepting what you don’t want to settle for and go find you someone who can give you what you want.”I’m so sorry this happened to you. But you pointed out something very important. Character produces behaviour patterns and the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. This is a fact in psychology, where one of the strongest predictors of future violence is a history of violence. We can also check it by looking at ourselves and others in our lives. Character doesnt change. Thats why the man who cheated on his wife for a gf will later cheat on that gf for someone else. The essential … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 06:12 PM |
| 13 | Ladies, if you need some pointers on how to spot red flags: DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER🚩🚩🚩I get your point but its the entitlement that depresses me. Trying to appropriate and control my appearance, especially a part of my sexual identity before we even met and within a couple of conversations. Its the complete ignorance of women as people with their own ideas and preferences about their bodies and the complete lack of respect for boundaries. I told him no, clearly he hasnt heard that no means no, which is alarming yet unsurprising given that he’s a police officer. If he has a prefer… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 05:42 PM |
| 3 | Ladies, if you need some pointers on how to spot red flags: DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER🚩🚩🚩Ah yes the old unwritten rule, a favourite of the LVM. Goes well with passive aggression and spiteful vindictiveness. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 04:57 PM |
| 30 | PSA Their new tricks (to get us to chase them) + Discussion (time policy)I project ‘stay the fuck away from me’. I kind of hold the space around myself like a force field, by staying hypervigilant and walking with purpose. If someone even looks at me with the intent of coming near me, I use my body language to deny them the opportunity to connect with my space. The body language trick is really effective. Keep your energy closed off while sensing the vibe of people around you. You can pick up a bad vibe from quite a long way away and divert your path to avoid those p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 04:55 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: October 7 2020Yes and there needs to be a section for those of us trying to co-parent with pathological NVMs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 04:12 PM |
| 16 | Ladies, if you need some pointers on how to spot red flags: DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER🚩🚩🚩Another guy I talked to was listing off things he wanted in bed as he ‘wanted to make sure I’d do what he wanted before dating’. This was pre-FDS also, so I was talking to him but internally getting more and more uncomfortable. Then he asks me if I want him to send me pictures of what he would like to fuck me in. I noped out at that point! When I did, and I was nice about it, saying I was more of a relationships person and I dont like jumping straight to sex. He then (very patronisingly) tried t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 02:12 PM |
| 38 | PSA Their new tricks (to get us to chase them) + Discussion (time policy)I learned to shut down in public when I was 18 or so and had weird creeps ambushing me on the way to college. Some would literally approach me and ask for sex. It was like wading through a bog of scrotes trying to get to school in the morning. It scared me a lot since I’m shy, have been through a lot of trauma, and was so young (these were older men and it was in the city). So I became an ice queen and men stopped approaching me. They still stare and do other annoying things but I havent been ap… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 01:54 PM |
| 15 | Ladies, if you need some pointers on how to spot red flags: DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER🚩🚩🚩Really there’s a lot of them? How unbelievably disappointing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 11:57 AM |
| 19 | Ladies, if you need some pointers on how to spot red flags: DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER🚩🚩🚩Thanks to the LVM for clearly identifying themselves 😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 09:58 AM |
| 12 | “Stop accepting what you don’t want to settle for and go find you someone who can give you what you want.”Just because he doesnt call women crazy doesnt mean he’s not an LVM. It sounds like he full well knew what he was doing to his previous gf and just did it anyway. Just because he can admit to LVM behaviour doesnt make him a HVM. It just means he doesn’t deny and gaslight. And are you sure this isnt the case? It doesnt sound like he treats all women with respect, because it sounds like he has some pretty major respect problems with his ex. And he talks about ‘her problems’ and ‘her issues’... isn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 09:46 AM |
| 139 | Ladies, if you need some pointers on how to spot red flags: DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER🚩🚩🚩This is so sad for the woman involved. I have a story about a similar guy I was talking to online. He was a police officer and was all ‘I’ll protect you. I’ll be your boyfriend’ (red flag #1). Then he said he wanted me to have my intimate region a certain way. So many things wrong with that when we hadnt even met! This was pre-FDS so I continued to engage even though he was pretty much already in the dumpster for me. So I said no, I have my region a specific way bc thats how I like it. He contin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 08:22 AM |
| 3 | Older men who date younger women admit they’d date teens as young as 16 and that their attraction progressively fades with age. It’s never a good idea to date much older men. It’s doomed to fail once you age out of his preference.Yes, this is why ethical practice is so important in psychology, but predators often don’t care about ethical guidelines unfortunately. Another closet misogynist I met on a dating site recently was just about to start a master’s in psychotherapy at Oxford University in the UK. After I said that his objectifying me made me feel bad, he assaulted me with the narcissist’s playbook of verbal abuse before calling me ‘crazy’. A real prince. I wish admissions tutors would get their heads out of their a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/10/20 06:57 AM |
| 50 | Do you find men when you reject them romantically will then try to see if they can get sex from you?I dont think I’ve let down a single man lately who hasnt resorted to full on verbal abuse or tried to gaslight me with loophole mumbo jumbo where they are trying to get me to agree to fwb but make it sound like they want a relationship. This shit affects my health these days since my body is shot to pieces from being abused. So I also no longer tell men. Block and delete is the only way to protect ourselves. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/10/20 01:04 PM |
| 57 | Older men who date younger women admit they’d date teens as young as 16 and that their attraction progressively fades with age. It’s never a good idea to date much older men. It’s doomed to fail once you age out of his preference.I had an ‘interesting’ conversation with an older guy on a dating app before I found FDS. He was 7 years older than me, which I considered an age gap relationship but he didn’t. I opened the conversation with him about whether he always had age gap relationships. He said ‘younger women suit me better’. He was a psychotherapist and that’s close to my field, so I continued discussing reasons for that. He didnt come up with anything compelling and I was already turned off and put him on the junk pi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/10/20 12:56 PM |
| 10 | Incredible talk on how your relationship to yourself creates your relationships with others. There's a LOT of ground covered here.Thank you to you and OP for mentioning this. I have seen this judgy/shamey attitude towards women in abusive relationships even here, and it really made me feel like... I thought this was meant to be a safe space for women? I thought we were meant to be uplifting women? Or is it only some women? Is it only the women who have been abused as bad as you were, but no more than that, because those women must have been losers to have been abused that bad? Because thats the same kind of denial abusers … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/10/20 02:20 PM |
| 35 | "If she hits you, you better fucking hit her back"When will people understand that ‘equal value’ does not mean ‘the same’. Men are on average bigger and stronger than women and live in a society in which they have a disproportionate amount of power. This is why they are told not to hit women. Besides the fact no one should be hitting anyone really, since we supposedly live in a civilised society... And they are happy to go to the bother to support ‘equality’ in a public forum when it is standing up for the right of men to hit women... when men … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 02:37 PM |
| 21 | She gave him her best years but once she's hitting menopause he wants to cheatThe payback we get is different and much better than alimony, which a lot of men just hide assets anyway. When women leave late in life, they can still level up, become successful and make their own money (more than they would get as alimony or as the wife of a scrote who is constantly denting your self-confidence and probably financially abusing you on top of that). The scrotes they leave just stay in the cycle of idiocy with another woman. Look at poor Melania Trump as an example. If she leave… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 12:35 PM |
| 12 | He couldn't give me a single original thought.It makes me laugh that these men get so paranoid as a result of their projections of their own disgusting behaviour that they can’t even have a normal conversation with a woman let alone an actual relationship. But you know, its kind of sad really. They are deluded and as a result will never get what they claim to want. Its a wasted opportunity for something good in their lives and a wasted opportunity for a woman to have something good too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 12:20 PM |
| 93 | He couldn't give me a single original thought.Jfc. It just shows it really is all projection when they talk about women having narrow requirements, and he gave you his perspective on exactly how he will respond to your (broad) expectations for what you want - getting jealous of other men and shapeshifting to try and pull one over on you. This guy is a creep and an a-grade idiot. Clearly he wasn’t paying attention in critical thinking class or any other lesson where you have to form your own opinion on the basis of facts and evidence. His ‘b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 10:29 AM |
| 324 | She gave him her best years but once she's hitting menopause he wants to cheatI remember being the teenage girl in these situations, and it put me off marriage even then. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 10:24 AM |
| 463 | Shut down an LVM at work who tried to treat me like his personal secretaryThis was not a small incident at all! Standing up to misogyny in the workplace successfully is a feat. You have contributed to changing workplace culture for women - yes, it may be something we have to do one interaction at a time, but this is how change happens. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 08:10 AM |
| 14 | FDS Media Coverage! “Reddit's Female Dating Strategy turns love into a game. Does it work? - ABC Life”Yes and death is often a consequence of abuse, directly through homicide or indirectly through stress related illnesses. I almost died earlier this year from an autoimmune condition as a result of a lifetime of abuse. It’s not just abuse, its the effects on our lives that people need to be aware of, especially the physical, psychological, social, and financial effects of emotional abuse, which is often dismissed, because these effects are indirect and emotional abuse can be ignored and dismissed… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 07:09 AM |
| 23 | FDS Media Coverage! “Reddit's Female Dating Strategy turns love into a game. Does it work? - ABC Life”Yeah or you know, not die | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 06:44 AM |
| 31 | Which one of you ladies did this? 😂This is why the family courts need the same protections for survivors of domestic abuse as those provided in the criminal courts for rape survivors. Trying to do that while you have PTSD, during a hostile cross examination (even done by the perpetrator sometimes) while you are sitting right next to your attacker presenting evidence to a male judge in a society riddled with misogynistic beliefs that make it very hard for women to be heard let alone feel safe and be protected... this gives male ab… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 10:14 PM |
| 9 | Respect - A view on men who change it up after you reject a lowball offer/dateExactly. The problem is it is so common to disrespect women that this behaviour is rife and widely accepted, which makes us think it’s ‘normal’ and we’re the weird ones for finding it distasteful. But as I always tell my son, just because everyone’s doing it doesn’t make it right. Historical examples of this principle abound. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 09:41 PM |
| 7 | Respect - A view on men who change it up after you reject a lowball offer/dateFucking A sis. The darker ‘muh dick’ counterpart is always lurking behind behaviour like this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 09:36 PM |
| 3 | If he wants to, he will!It aint about the beauty sis. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 07:17 PM |
| 13 | Respect - A view on men who change it up after you reject a lowball offer/dateYes and the worst thing about the gaslighting, which comes from seeking outer validation for what we are feeling and being lied to, and then doubting ourselves as a result as you say, is the isolation it makes us feel as women and how it pits us against each other, and how it makes us feel like we’re crazy or there’s something wrong with us for feeling that way. It’s wonderful to realise that none of that’s true, other women don’t hate us, there’s a wonderful sisterhood here where we can support… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 07:07 PM |
| 14 | Respect - A view on men who change it up after you reject a lowball offer/dateExactly. I am so glad I know this now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 06:50 PM |
| 24 | Respect - A view on men who change it up after you reject a lowball offer/dateYes, scrotes run away from dinner so we don’t have to fend them off. It works like scrote-be-gone 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 06:44 PM |
| 74 | Respect - A view on men who change it up after you reject a lowball offer/dateAfter seeing a post on here about dating profile strategy, I put on my profile that my perfect first date is dinner at a nice restaurant. A guy matched with me and said ‘dinner on a first date? There must be some great guys out there’ Lol. Not only telling on himself that he is not a great guy (why do this on a dating app??) but also showing that they do know, they know they aren’t great guys when they lowball. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 06:33 PM |
| 15 | Typical LV mooch wants financial benefits without getting married. Stay awake, ladies! 3 years in doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep your eyes open.Thank fuck for that | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 05:36 PM |
| 102 | Being a pick-me and pandering to men is dangerous.More internalised misogyny where feminine = weak and an insult | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 05:34 PM |
| 43 | Typical LV mooch wants financial benefits without getting married. Stay awake, ladies! 3 years in doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep your eyes open.I cant believe she asked AITA. I hope to God people in the comments don’t gaslight her | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 05:33 PM |
| 31 | What surprised when I had mainly male colleagues was how much they knew exactly what they were doing in dating (WAY more than me. Actually, back then I could not put into words what I was doing, it just felt or didn’t feel right). Look like this dude was one of my male colleagues 🙃I love that these guys brag on reddit about it like they’re so clever to figure out a way to use women... not clever enough to realise that broadcasting it will soon result in women figuring it out and putting it stop to it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 03:31 PM |
| 3 | Redpill scrote (former incel) sats FDS is for “unattractive women”. Help me roast this scrote ladies.It would be hilarious if he saw pictures of us. I have been asked several times to be a model. I’m sure some of us here are or have been models as well as many being what the majority of men would call attractive. Beauty has nothing to do with seeing through abuse and calling it out. They really don’t understand that this sub is about avoiding the majority of men who mistreat us, not hating men as a whole gender or being unattractive... wonder if he’s really talking about himself and his red pil… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 03:25 PM |
| 7 | LolYes, its projection when they say things like make up is deceptive. I dont know a single woman whose intention when wearing make up is to con men out of sex. Why would we even need to do that? We are actively trying to fend off men every second of the day. They are projecting their own deceptive nature on to us, because their attempts to get sex aren’t working and they can’t do the self reflection to understand its exactly because they are being deceptive to get sex from us. Don’t they understan… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 08:35 AM |
| 25 | I don’t think Taylor really cares what you think, Stefan.I cannot believe this got over 2000 likes. First, is this really what he spends his time thinking about? Is this his ‘meaningful contribution’ to humanity? Second, the fact that women have a limited amount of ova while men continue to produce sperm is not some kind of mystical signal that they are somehow better, which is what so many of these men seem to think. I’d like to see them carry a baby to term at 60 or 70 and then breastfeed and take care of it as a newborn. Nature knew the majority of… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 08:49 PM |
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