bwompitybwomp Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
40	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture.		bwompitybwomp	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 07:01 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Not all feminist agendas are bad and therefore I subscribe to some of feminism, there are still women's issues to be addressed. But I feel like the change that we need is going to come from men and women working together and I think that feminism and MR can be myopic. Feminism has been around longer and is a larger movement, so unfortunately when they favor their issues over equality their inclinations have far-reaching effects. Feminism is good in some ways for advancing women's issues, MR for …	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 06:50 PM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Will do. I'm going into academia. Not all feminist agendas are bad and therefore I subscribe to some of feminism, there are still women's issues to be addressed. But I feel like the change that we need is going to come from men and women working together and I think that feminism and MR can be myopic. Feminism has been around longer and is a larger movement, so unfortunately when they favor their issues over equality their inclinations have far-reaching effects. Feminism is good in some ways for…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 06:20 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. (Here's something I said in another post.) This [unfairly judging men] is something that I am un-learning. It is scary to be a young woman (alone in public or on a bike no less) and have older men ogling you and yelling sexual things at you, it feels disgusting and pejorative when someone you see in public acts perverted towards you. Like I said, you put up a wall and ignore men because it is SO pervasive and this is something that men don't account for when they wonder why women are sensitive a…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 06:08 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Your example of a man on an elevator is another socially acceptable method, like approaching a woman in a bar. So forseeably, if a woman over-reacts it is unreasonable. Manifestations of the predatory male attitude are not limited to illegal acts. When this attitude is manifested as rape or violence or other forms of sexual assault, it is illegal. But jeering at a woman (ok, not looking, we all look at each other, I look at men, but there's a certain manner of looking that makes it inappropriate…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 06:03 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. NOT WHATSOEVER. The fact that men are blamed for rape in our society is elementary and I understand (and abhor) it. I'm saying that the theme of male violence/rape against women seems to be closely intertwined with the stereotypical situation of a woman being raped because she was somewhere unsafe wearing revealing clothing. This is why I'm asking you guys, who seem to be knowledgable, if this is a legitimate trend or a result perceived out of bias. I am trying to investigate this and break down…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 05:48 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. But what if, every day of your life, multiple times per day, since you were 11, you were beat up by someone larger than you? What I'm saying is that women receive unwelcome sexual advances and comments on a daily basis, often from people they see for a second and will never see again. It is easy to put up walls and treat all men that you meet in passing with disgust because unfortunately, if you do this there will be some days when a pretty good percentage of them ended up doing something legiti…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 05:43 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. How would you define masculinity? Depending on your answer I can make a better statement but I definitely think that men attain status and identy for their masculine traits. And I don't know how true it is that men are essentially being emasculated, women and feminists aren't trying to shape men into "soft, meek, feminine" men... after all, we (straight women at least) like MEN right? Are you suggesting that their masculinity is being repressed and this is somehow related to men not having an ou…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 05:23 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. What is the context of zaferk's question? Do we think what is a social construct?	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 05:11 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. The issue here is that there is a problem in our culture of (many, not all) men (feeling welcome to) openly treating women like sexual objects or at the very least presenting them with an abundance of unwelcome sexual advances. It must be frustrating to talk to a woman and be treated like an animal. But women are treated like animals on a daily basis and I can attest to this. This is something that men and women can work together to correct- women can learn to give men benefit of the doubt and t…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 01:09 PM
3	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. And the feminists that matter hang out on MR and find out what its all about :)	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 01:05 PM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. But it seems that, correct me if I'm wrong, the trend is that women dressed indecently outside at night are usually raped by men. Or maybe its that I can't find any instances where there has been a female on female perpetrator in this situation. If I did find an instance, would it be an outlier? Maybe you guys have insight. You're right, the bottom line is that there are PEOPLE who can't control themselves and will harm others. The problem is, whether or not a trend exists of male violence again…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 01:03 PM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. When women give you 'fear eyes' have you provoked them in any way? I think that this response should be met with understanding and we can discuss it more. Sometimes it is just the physiological difference. I know the judgement isn't always correct, some women are larger than and therefore have an advantage over some men, but most men are larger than women. After I was a victim of domestic violence I learned that if a man (or a person larger than you, but I learned this in the context of man and …	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 01:01 PM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I know that this is a key bastion of the MRM, that is why I asked my question. I'm asking if there are any specific efforts to provide an environment where men are comfortable being/expressing themselves or expressing vulnerability, and are MRA's encouraged to discourage others from oppressively telling men to "man up"? So I guess I'm asking how the MRM asks MRA's to take this one step further by implementing it into action, I know its a problem.	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 12:56 PM
3	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I don't equate men with rapists. We're talking about specific cases of rape when women are preyed upon when they are outside and dressed indecently. I'm sorry, but I have only heard of instances like this where men have raped women. This is likely a result of bias, and if I wasn't on my way to class I would do a bit more reading. But I haven't heard of women raping other women who were out at night dressed indecently, and if such incidences have occurred I'm inclined to think that they are unusu…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 12:53 PM
-2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I guess what I mean by context is that I've heard "men can stop rape" in the context of responding to "women shouldn't dress revealingly", and only then is it a potentially appropriate response. I'm sure that sentiments of this nature were expressed before incidents like those that inspired the SlutWalks, and these sentiments probably laid the foundation for our male-perpetrating rape culture. I should just identify as egalitarian, although my remaining tie to feminism is that I feel it is impor…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 03:59 AM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I don't think its fair to say that feminism is supremacist and MRM is not. I'm not saying that MRM IS supremacist, however, the things that some MRA's say might lead me to believe this. The same goes for feminism.	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 03:51 AM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Interesting. Does the MRM specifically address ways to combat the social structures that suppress expressions of male fragility, weakness and emotion?	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 03:47 AM
-1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Feminists do take the cause of minorities and sexual minorities as well, but you're right, more can be done to embrace the way that societal gender roles affect everyone, yes even men. I think that places like the Men's center in BC are just what we need, young men need a place to seek guidance and deconstruct gender roles. It would be especially helpful because of how many men are reluctant to visit the doctor or a counselor, the social support there is constructive and valuable. I'm not sure i…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 03:45 AM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I think it is possible to empower women out of their infantile state without favoring or over-protecting them. And there are feminists who see this as preferable.	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 03:36 AM
5	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. /SRS? I really don't like that you refer to feminism as "the movement" as though it is all bad. It also invokes an "us vs. them" mentality. Feminism is not one solid set of views. The feminists who act out of bias make me consider identifying as a "humanist", but I do think that it is important to study the history of the oppression of women. Is it racist when African Americans study their history? I guess my point is that I'm trying to be understanding and to learn more about your cause because…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 03:33 AM
-1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Context?	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 03:28 AM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I understand that saying "men can stop rape" is offensive because it implies that men are the sole force behind rape in our society, and it seems that this incorrect message is incredibly pervasive. However, I think this phrase, in context (I understand that it is sometimes used out of context, and that is sexist), is a response to incidences of men asking women to avoid certain situations or dress differently so that they are not raped. In fact, I just finished responding to someone posting on …	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 03:24 AM
-2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Another spin on your observation about the absence of a concept of male sexual purity is that men are not expected to maintain purity because they are free to enjoy sex for pleasure. Women's purity is valued because throughout history women were commodified as mothers and objects of pleasure. While it was socially acceptable for men to enjoy the freedom of sleeping around (before marriage, and in some cases during marriage) women were deemed "impure" if they did not marry as a virgin. Within the…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 03:12 AM
-1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I have heard several men say that they don't understand why women hate catcalling. Based on your comparison, you have received a "catcall" of some sort and found it easy to shrug off. But consider the barrage of unwelcome sexual advances that women face every day, and it isn't so innocent or easy to shrug off. As a woman it is embarrassing that our bosses and professors reduce us to sources of sex appeal when we are supposed to be maintaining a professional relationship in a work environment. Wo…	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 02:56 AM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Thank you! I'm glad someone spoke out against that. I'm new to this whole MR thing, and I see a legitimate cause, but it was unsettling that someone defended catcalling.	/r/MensRights	14/06/12 02:47 AM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. From a female perspective such attention is dehumanizing. It makes women feel that they are viewed as objects and valued for their appearance.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 11:26 PM
-1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. How do women blame their lack of self-control on men, and what lack of self control are you referring to? And the suggestion about burqas is ridiculous, am I wrong to catch a hint of "men are going to catcall regardless and if women can't handle it then we'll protect them"?	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 11:23 PM
-2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. So you agree that women are "asking for it" when they dress suggestively?	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 11:22 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Celebrating and discussing the male experience would be really useful in our society today, and I think that it would encourage openness and break up many negative male stereotypes and patterns of behavior.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 11:20 PM
9	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Yeah I'm considering distancing myself from the term feminist altogether. I don't prioritize women's rights before anyone elses'. Even though there seems to be just cause, being combative against feminism may give people the wrong idea about MRM. You guys definitely have enough material to work with to advance a legitimate cause. It is fair to call attention to injust acts in the name of feminism, but I'm just giving constructive criticism about how sometimes the point of gender equality seems t…	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 11:17 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. How would you differentiate MGTOW from the feminist conception of what men should be?	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:57 PM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Saying that women wearing revealing clothing is risky is saying that men can't control themselves, and that is a belief that I don't subscribe to (out of respect for men).	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:51 PM
3	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I can see how the expectation that males initiate could contribute to this behavior, but the catcalls that I receive often have nothing to do with propositioning for sex, they are just in poor taste. Saying that this is men "being open about their sexuality" doesn't seem right...	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:50 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. "Men do not suffer discrimination due to their gender" claim most feminists. I don't think that it is fair to assume that all feminists think this way, "gender roles fuck everyone over" has been my mantra for quite some time now. Although I'm only recently seeing the extent to which men suffer and learning about specific injustices (because men's issues really are not aired or taken seriously, and this is a problem) I've always seen the harm (across the board) in adhering to traditional gender r…	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:47 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. As far as men being conditioned not to complain, I recognize that this is a very real and problematic social force. Could one agenda of MR be to encourage men to speak out and to not be ashamed as a result of traditional gender roles? (Maybe it already is). Additionally, are there any efforts within MR to empower men to defy male stereotypes and social programming (that are often cited as being so confining)? I think that this could be best addressed on a man-to-man level in an environment of no…	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:42 PM
-1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. No it really not be more clear. And honestly, I think the reason that I heard MR was a "joke" is not because of men's suffering not being taken seriously (although I recognize that MR is probably often subverted because of this). The reason my peers ridiculed it is because of how many posts seem mysogynist and seem only to argue against feminism while ignoring the underlying concern of gender equality. I checked it out for myself, and while I've seen some evidence of this, the exposure to legiti…	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:39 PM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. The media blaming its victims doesn't strike you as socially condoning rape? At the very least examples like the media not taking rape seriously, blaming victims or ignoring men's complaints show that we are not addressing the problem of rape correctly. How or whether or not this fits into the idea of rape culture, I don't know.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:32 PM
5	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. This is an example of condoning rape, and I don't think that it is acceptable. This is my rationale behind saying that blaming men distracts us from the real problem- rape happening at all! Blaming men is one reason why female perpetrators and male victims are not taken seriously.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:30 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Are you saying that it shouldn't be?	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:29 PM
-2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. ?	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:28 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I'm glad you don't engage in objectifying behaviors such as cat-calling. On a daily basis I am harassed by men- at the grocery store, riding my bike, on the bus. The stereotype of a cat calling jackass is a concern, and its realization and existence are one reason that men like you are grouped in under a judgmental umbrella. Posts like yours and others on MR have challenged me to re-evaluate my thinking and not to disrespect men by judging them based on stereotypes, but the reason that I've had …	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:27 PM
2	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I've heard rape culture defined as a society that condones rape or does not take it seriously. While male blame is a large part of this construct, I find evidence for the existence of a rape culture in the newspaper articles that condemn rape victims for what they were wearing. For example, the 12 year old in Texas who was gang-raped- the newspaper article mentioned that she dressed promiscuously. Many people on here say that there isn't a rape culture, and they may be right, I'm trying to figur…	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 10:23 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Excuse me, how does my post demonstrate that male suffering is seen as a joke? I suppose the initial comment that I heard about MR because it was laughed at, but clearly I posted this with the intention of seeing past that and educating myself.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 09:26 PM
-8	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Women's studies arose to combat the sexist, man-central attitude in academia, science, history and culture. This was INCREDIBLY necessary, but today when women experience more freedoms this discipline tends to walk a fine line between celebrating the female experience (which is ok) and taking a female-centric stance (which is not).	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 09:24 PM
0	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Look at Malkor's comment. I know that it seems ridiculous that every catcall is made into "near rape", but this is so because catcalls are an example of men perpetuating and embodying a stereotype that works against them.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 09:20 PM
-3	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. Exactly! When men embody the stereotype that demonizes them, they are only contributing to their own oppression.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 09:17 PM
-4	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. It seemed to be more concerned with being oppositional towards women rather than gender equality. There are feminists who make the same mistake by being oppositional towards or demonizing men. Maybe nutjob isn't the best word but I think people who ignore the core tenant of their philosophy (gender equality) are pretty silly.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 09:16 PM
1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. I can see how you might get that impression, and I don't agree with the stance of EVERY feminist but please do not decry all of feminism. I have heard the opinions of some fucking nutty MRA's but I still credit MR as a necessary movement with valid insight to offer.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 09:14 PM
-1	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. By citing the analogy a person walking through a bad part of town in a suit (thereby "asking for it"), is this meant to parallel a woman "asking for it" because of what she is wearing? If so, this is problematic, but if not, please clarify.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 09:12 PM
-8	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. ...our culture condones rape. We rape our children, we think that men in prison "deserve" the sexual assault that they face. I think that scapegoating men is one distraction from eradicating the true problem.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 09:10 PM
7	A question about why men are scapegoated in our rape culture. How does this apply to the issues of rape and violence? (I'm sure it does, I'm just not connecting the dots.)	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 07:08 PM
1	Just can't do it today. You're right, I'm referring to the one being tested in India. Unfortunately it won't be available until 2015, but it is definitely a medical advance that could help level the playing field and encourage us to reconsider our societal response to this issue. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/03/male-birth-control-reversible_n_1400708.html	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 06:53 PM
0	Just can't do it today. No, I heard that they came out with a male equivalent to female birth control. And if this is so, it could do a lot to prevent the issue you're talking about. But I see where you're coming from. Its difficult, at one time this stance was in women's best interest, but as our social structure changes it becomes potentially unfair and abused.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 04:42 PM
1	Why Men Earn More - The Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap, By Dr. Warren Farrel Not that I don't agree with you, but in studying feminism women are often portrayed as prisoners of male approval and respect. I think both men and women experience feelings like this, and that socialized gender does a lot to put us at odds with each other.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 08:01 AM
-1	'A man isnt a prince, he's a rapist'? How do they get the right to display this stuff [x-post from /r/wtf] Just because in theory I CAN have someone jailed for "touching a hair on my head (or not)" doesn't mean that the system is effective. Even though the law is slanted towards women, many times women's complaints are ignored. "Inconsistent rulings", I said this for a reason. I pointed out that a flawed legislative system exists and therefore detriments exist for both men and women. What more do you want? What will make you feel safer from all the rapist men of the rape culture? Hanging them upon ac…	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 07:34 AM
-1	'A man isnt a prince, he's a rapist'? How do they get the right to display this stuff [x-post from /r/wtf] I understand. I guess one method of grass roots activism on your part could be to dissuade other men that you interact with from perpetuating and embodying the "sex animal" stereotype and explain the negative implications that it has. As far as the woman always portrayed as the victim, sometimes the report is accurate and sometimes it is sensationalism. In my own life I've been a victim of domestic violence (I was placated by the police) and I've had to teach myself not to judge or think badly o…	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 04:17 AM
2	How can feminists say with a straight face that women were oppressed because they were made to work at home. What do you think men were made to do? [imgur] I think one observed source of oppression is that men had autonomy. While supporting a family was imposed upon them, men could choose not to have a family while this was not an option for women.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 04:08 AM
3	“Men are just programmed to stray” Read my comment, it includes my observations about men. Gender roles encourage us all to be pretty shitty :/	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 03:58 AM
2	“Men are just programmed to stray” This reminds me of how many times I've heard men justify their behavior or desires by saying "sorry, I'm biologically programmed to want to have sex with as many people as possible". To set the record straight, I don't think that men are "programmed to stray", which is why I argue against those with the stance opposite of yours that their "intrinsic" desires are largely the result of social programming. Your observation is legitimate, and I'm sorry that you experienced it and that there was litt…	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 03:54 AM
1	'A man isnt a prince, he's a rapist'? How do they get the right to display this stuff [x-post from /r/wtf] But is there an issue in our country of older women going after young boys? I'm not saying the execution is perfect, but the message is there for a reason.	/r/MensRights	13/06/12 03:25 AM