TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

canival9885 Archive

View 1 posts and 63 comments by canival9885 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
61

canival9885/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 10:57 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

Don't get married and everything is solved.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 09:44 PM
0

I don't think I need to beat the dead horse of everyone else's consensus of staying in the marital home. Secondly, buy a digital voice recorder with a good amount of storage and record every conversation you have with her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 10:55 AM
2

Easy desicion if you ask me. If she's disrespectful and condensing to you now, what will change?
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 01:35 AM
1

If you two are fighting all the time it probably will not improve. Once the respect in the relationship is gone it will lead to lack of emotion and intimacy in the relationship and continue to have a cascading effect. As for child custody if your a father that has done nothing wrong you should be able to get joint custody. As for moving away and this is in the U.S. but without the other parents permission, you can't move out of the state. But there's no sense in hanging on for the sake of hangin…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 01:12 PM
1

I couldn't wait to move as far away as I could even as we were sort of getting along. I can't fathom seeing, talking to the ex for anything other than the kids we share.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 10:28 PM
3

It's proven that 75% of reconciliations end in divorce so the chances of it lasting were against you. If it didn't work the first time it wouldn't of worked the second time. Like you I was sad, upset, disappointed that my marriage was ending and talked about trying to salvage it but when we realized why were we're ending the marriage we realized it was best for our sanity and the kids as well. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 01:30 PM
1

It’s usually half of what you made during your marriage. I traded the house for the pension. My lawyer said it was a a no brainer. If can negotiate something similar i would suggest it. Yes, she makes off in the short term but for the rest of your life post retirement you’ll have a free and clear pension while she has a one time payout
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 06:18 PM
4

Purchase a digital audio recorder. Don’t know about the jurisdiction you live in. But in New York I’m able to record audio in the common space I shared with my ex. When I told her that I was recording her every time we had a discussion she pulled her punches compared to the crap she would normally say when I didn’t record her. To this day post divorce, I still record her so she can’t use any future arguments against me for child custody issues if it ever comes up. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 03:15 AM
2

Bro, you have your whole life ahead of you at 25. Plus no kids together so you have a clean slate and chance a restarting your life. Start with getting a job and becoming independent and not relying on woman to support you so that the next time you have to break up with a woman you can make a clean break. And you’ll get over your ex
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 04:24 AM
2

My ex was methodical. Aside from playing the mind games she got all her ducks in a row financially and then decided to ask me for a divorce. When I think of that time when she was asking me a question about this or that it now makes sense what she was doing. But she did me a favor as I see it cause I’m free of all the mind games and manipulation.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 02:41 AM
1

Unless it’s life or death, I’m pretty sure you can remain in your home. Hopefully you have the spare space to sleep and have distance. Leaving a home voluntarily until the divorce is never a good idea cause the other can file for abandonment and any profit from the home sale if you decide to go that route will go to her. Also it won’t bode well for child custody. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 01:02 PM
1

Women have so many things in their favor why do her anymore? At this point you have to do what’s right and fair for yourself. If it’s amicable great, keep it that way but if she decides to go scorched earth and fight you on everything and your not prepared than your up shit’s creek without a paddle. Just get your ducks in a row and be prepared for anything is all I’m suggestion.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 09:35 AM
4

Stupidity. Divorced now and I solemnly swear I will not make the same mistake again.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 03:34 PM
1

If I could do it all over again, i would not have gotten married. I was on the fence to begin with and got married for all the wrong reasons. If you are having this same thought don’t do it. You will live with regret and anguish all your marriage then when you divorce you’ll realize “damn, I wish I didn’t get married.” Good luck whatever your choice is.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 11:17 AM
3

Something happens when you put the ring on. It’s like they turn to Gollum from lord of the rings and the ring possesses them to start hating and despising you. From the moment we said I do my ex’s attitude went from loving and caring to bitter and spiteful which in turn made me become the same way. We tried counseling but she was stubborn and didn’t want to do what the marriage counselor was suggesting so there was no choice but to divorce. If you exhausted all options and are still at each othe…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 12:25 PM
1

If you can do it amicably than yes. Me and my ex did mediation and saved us thousands. So if you can save yourself money and time, do it. Just make sure everything you agree on is in writing and not just a verbal agreement/handshake. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 10:43 AM
2

It’s hard now, but it will get better. I had that sense of failure, dread, uncertainty but as soon as I moved out and away from the situation and ex my attitude and spirit improved drastically. Stay strong and think about your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 03:00 AM
1

Sounds like it’s not going to get any better and will only get worse. Go with your gut instinct and split before it gets worse. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 11:10 AM
1

Don’t leave the house, she can file for abandonment and all rights you have to the house gone. So if she decides to sell the house you get no profit. Record all conversations, get a spy cam to plot along the house to record your verbal abuse to you and her kids. Your house so no permission to do those things. Stay strong and good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 02:52 AM
1

Just remember, she’s the one that decided she didn’t want to along with you post divorce so don’t feel bad. Focus on the kids and let her waste her energy on hating you. It takes effort to hate and be angry and it kills them more when you approach them with a smile and act like their selfish behavior doesn’t effect you. Stay strong and she can celebrate her own birthday.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 12:38 PM
3

I was married to my ex for 16 years (together for 18) so I’m still not over my ex, but when I moved out, there was a certain liberation that came over me. Not having to worry about being aggravated and stressed walking into the same house she’s in. We have children together so I can’t completely ignore her. Now she wants to reminisce about what went wrong and what could have been better but I seem to want to talk less and less about the past now that I’m away from her. I believe time and distanc…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/22 12:36 PM
7

When she gets bored with this guy she’s with she will blame him also for not “loving her” enough either. Probably a good thing your divorced her cause she seems like she’s a hard women to please. Find yourself a woman who will appreciate you for you and not be self obsessed with your feelings for her. Stay strong and time will heal all wounds.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 01:17 AM
1

I’ve never been a fan of this Hallmark holiday. My ex hated the fact that I never celebrated Valentine’s Day. Don’t need to worry about her complaining anymore
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 03:06 AM
3

Sorry your in that situation. Have you tried the family court route? I know they don’t move at an efficient pace, but petition court for visits or joint custody if you are paying all your child support. You have the right to see and have your children if you are keeping up with all your commitments. Don’t get discouraged, try to avoid conflict cause that’s what the Ex wants so they can call cops and build evidence. Try to record all your interactions with your ex to avoid false allegations. My r…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 03:03 AM
1

She’s clinging, fight the urge and part ways. The sooner you gain distance the better off you will be.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 06:11 PM
2

Thanks, looking forward to it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 06:06 PM
3

Takes both to try and make it work. I essentially wasted three months of therapy cause once the STBXW asked me for a divorce, she said she did it to make me happy and wasn’t trying on her end. I had a very good therapist I’ll admit and actually continued to see him as a personal therapist during divorce process so it wasn’t all bad therapy wise. But if you feel your spouse is wasting your time than therapy won’t work. We saw three therapist, two of them females and they sided with the wife most …
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 05:59 PM
2

Seems all you need to worry about is splitting the assents of the house if you sell it. Or a buy out for whoever is leaving the house. Maybe alimony but that depends on income earned by either party. Most divorce attorney’s offer free consul stations and can fully explain your options. Sorry your going through this, 30 years is a long time, much luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 08:18 PM
1

Mediation in definitely the way to go if you can keep it amicable. It will save you thousands in lawyers fees. Half of the battle is going to be with your child. Custody? Child support? Health insurance? Expenses? Etc. Me and my STBXW agreed to joint custody, split on the expenses. Be patient, there will be a lot of give and take. Your STBXW will change her mind on certain things and so will you, important thing to remember is what’s right for your kids and try to keep the emotions between you b…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 04:00 AM
1

And I swear on my life I WILL NEVER get married again!!!
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 09:18 PM
3

This guy right here. In the middle of the divorce process as we speak. And between thinking about my move to my new place, co-parenting, I can’t fathom going on dates right now. I’ve been with the same women for 18 years and can’t remember the last date I was on a date before her. I hear it’s an entire different animal with all the dating apps now. A bunch of my recently divorced buddies met girls on these apps so they said that the old going to clubs/bars scene isn’t as prevalent anymore as it …
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 08:58 PM
1

I had a similar dilemma. Mine was fight for the house and most likely sell and split the profits 50-50. Let her buy me out for a smaller portion of what the house is worth and she keeps the house and I keep my full pension. However the Witch said that if I went for the house sale that she would go for my retirement pension which I am looking at a six-figure pension upon my retirement every year for the rest of my natural life upon retiring. So i had to choose between the pension and the house, s…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 01:32 AM
7

This statement couldn’t be any more true. It seems like that wedding ring is a piece of Kryptonite. Once you say “I do”, it’s their permission to become argumentative, combative witches. Then when they get tired and bored with you sexually they go and cheat and become lieing, conniving snakes. Now in the divorce process she’s so vindictive and hurtful she’s unrecognizable from the woman I married. Any single bachelors out there reading this, DONT GET MARRIED!!!
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 01:17 AM
1

That’s great. Nothing worse than a woman scorned.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 02:34 PM
1

Yes it is, divorce is in the process and looking forward to getting far away from this bitch, unfortunately not a process that works quickly so have to continue to cohabitate with the STBXW. But I long for the day where I don’t have to go home and deal with her and can focus on my kids!!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 02:28 PM
1

Divorce proceedings are in motion. Unfortunately it’s not a quick process so have to wait it out. I’m being bought out of my share of the house so once I get that payout I can get a place of my own and far away from this bitch. Until then have to be under the same room with her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 02:22 PM
1

Thanks, just waiting for the divorce to play out so I can get as far away from this bitch as I can!!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 02:04 PM
1

Thanks, I needed to know for my peace of mind. Now that I do I can go into this divorce knowing it wasn’t my fault our marriage failed. She will do it to him when she gets unhappy with the new guy so fuck then both is how I see it
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 02:03 PM
3

Stupidity is the best way I can put it. Turned into a 16 year mistake. The only good thing I got out of it is my 3 wonderful children. Never again
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 07:14 PM
2

Yup, divorce papers are in so can’t wait to be done with her
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 07:13 PM
1

Exactly. She went on as everything was normal meanwhile I knew what she was up to!!!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 07:12 PM
1

Well, the divorce papers are in so we shall see.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 07:11 PM
1

Free country, as long as I’m not breaking any laws, I can do what I want. And I wanted to catch the cheating bitch in the act to prove my case.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 07:02 PM
2

Thanks, just confirmed what I already knew. Now that I know I can move on in peace
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 07:00 PM
1

Yup, amazing how the cards are stacked against Husbands/dads in the family court system even if they are the plaintiff.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 06:57 PM
2

Change in behavior, routine, attitude, etc. When your married to someone for 16 years you know when something is off. Just had to see it for myself to confirm what I suspected!!!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 06:55 PM
2

She confessed once I confronted her. No going back now for her
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 05:21 PM
11

I broke my own rule of never getting married. Shame on me. If I could get into a time machine and do it all over again I would have obeyed my own rule. If there’s one person who I can save that’s considering getting married head all of these posts and warnings. DO NOT GET MARRIED!!!
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 01:26 AM
2

Sounds like it may not get better without marriage counseling if you two haven’t tried it already. If not try separation, maybe sometime away from each other might help. I tried both instances with my STBXW and none of them worked and we realized the marriage was over. As soon as you come to grips with trying not to salvage something that doesn’t exist anymore the better it will be to cope. I was married 16 years and the first few months after she asked me for a divorce were tough to come to gri…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 12:29 AM
1

Sounds like your between and rock and hard place. For your sanity file and move on, nothing good will come out of not filing.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/22 03:46 AM
2

Don’t know why your going to waste money to do something both of you hate which is being married. Cancel, get your money back and spend it on getting a good divorce attorney. If it’s not good now, ain’t going to get better after you renew your vowels!!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/22 01:49 AM
1

This happened with mine. We had a mediation agreement set, then as we were at the signing she sees something she claims she missed and wanted it changed. So the signing turned into another hour long mediation session (another $300 for the hour we had to waste) and for the sake of my sanity and so I could move the f$&k on I relented and gave in. But if you feel you need to stand firm, hold strong and don’t give in.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/22 03:26 PM
1

The good news if you haven’t been married long and you have no kids together. Kids are one of the biggest areas of contention in a divorce hands down. Assets are easy to settle and divide. Being that you’ve been married for two years Alimony if any you have to pay her will be very little. Consult with an lawyer ASAP. Most if not all offer free consultations. From what I’m hearing with your story it doesn’t seem like your situation will get any better and as emotional as you may feel toward her y…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/22 03:19 PM
3

I saw the signs of a failed marriage way before I got hitched but because I let emotions get the best of me I took the dive. Biggest fucking mistake of my life. Date, hookup, move in together and cohabitate but never, ever put a ring on it. Atleast with the previous options you can cut and run with nothing to lose.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/22 06:32 AM
2

Thanks, some of her behavior indicates she’s with another guy. She comes home at 11:30 on weekdays saying she was caught up with “extra” work. Whatever, that guy can have her, when he gets to know all the drama he’s about to deal with he’ll be running for the door!!!
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 08:34 PM
1

😂
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 11:42 PM
1

DONT LEAVE. If your name is on the mortgage/deed/lease or you can prove you pay part or all of the mortgage/rent, you have the right to remain there until all proceedings are settled. If she doesn’t like it tough, you have as much there as possible. If you have a guest bedroom start sleeping in there now, create distance and only interact with her about the kids. Anything related to the divorce, refer her ass to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 02:54 AM
1

Sorry man, stay strong and best of luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 02:37 AM
1

Do you have a spare bedroom? I would start by sleeping away from her in another part of the house if you can. If not, than sorry you have to deal with that. Thankfully I had a guest bedroom to get away from the grinch I was sharing the house with till my divorce went through and any sexual desire/emotion I had for her went away not Sleeping in the same bed with her. It sucks hit if there’s any goal, it’s to stay strong for your son.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 01:27 AM
1

I think you need to cut ties. Yes you care about her but if you don’t care for yourself you won’t be any good to anyone. I would suggest seeking counseling. It helped me through my divorce immensely. But like I said, you have to look out for yourself first and foremost. And let’s face it, if you keep bailing her out she won’t learn to stand on her own two feet.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 01:21 AM
1

You offer is pretty generous. But if she’s playing hardball I say play it right back and tell her all bets are off, see you in court and then maybe she’ll come to her senses!! Good luck, I went though a very contentious divorce and two years, 25K later in lawyer fees for both of us we were pretty much a wash when it came to assets. My only saving grace was both of our salaries were identical so she got no alimony and child support wasn’t crippling. In the end she bought out my share of the house…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 01:15 AM
1

Just started divorce proceedings myself. On one hand I’m extremely sad I’ll be leaving the house I shared and raised my family for the last 10 years. On the other, I’m looking forward to not having to deal with the stress and anxiety of a disgruntled wife complaining and arguing all the time and be able to focus on my kids. We did the whole marriage counseling thing and it didn’t work so I can hold my head high knowing I tried to salvage the marriage so time to move on. Glad to hear a story like…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/22 12:25 PM
2

I was just thrown the bomb on Christmas Day (a real life Grinch) that my wife wants a divorce because she’s suffering from a mid life crises and needs to find herself. We have three kids together, married 16 years and all of a sudden needs to find herself. On one hand I want to contest everything and make her earn what she gets. On the other, I want to cut ties and get far away from her as I can so I’ve thought of considering the mediation route so I can get the f$&k out sooner and not have to d…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/22 03:51 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter