| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 26 | How do you respond when a men cancels a date? | SEEKING ADVICE | canttouchthisnananan | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/20 11:15 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 44 | In shock. A post about a woman finding violent fantasies on her bfs accountsThank you, your kind words mean the world to me right now! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 01:51 PM |
| 96 | In shock. A post about a woman finding violent fantasies on her bfs accountsThank you. He’s not. I recently went to the police to report him. I don’t have a lot of evidence, but the police is taking it very seriously and I have a few more appointments with them so they can start their research on him. The rumor is that he fled the country so they might not be able to get him to the station at all. But I’m still going to try and at least want the police to have a big file on him so that they can catch him whenever he does something again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 01:46 PM |
| 158 | In shock. A post about a woman finding violent fantasies on her bfs accountsI actually had a relationship with a guy who had the most violent and degrading kinks and unfortunately I totally fell for the whole ‘it’s just a fetish’ story and ‘don’t kinkshame me’ argument. He promised to always be careful and listen to my boundaries/ safety words. Well… he didn’t and ended up keeping me hostage for 6 months, abusing and raping me. I hate how I believed him and will NEVER fall for it again. These men want to act on their ‘kinks’ and whenever you have a vulnerable moment he … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 01:01 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat / Check-inWhaaaaaaaaa I had this discussion with a woman on TikTok about a video where this girl changed her appearance to please her boyfriend. A lot of girls were defending her actions in the comments and said that in a relationship you have to compromise, so I wanted to at least say something so girls would know it is not normal behaviour to make yourself smaller for a man. And this woman called me ridiculous and and said I did not know what feminism was and that I was mean to other woman so I was not … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 10:59 AM |
| 62 | It happened! All I could do was laugh and unmatch. Even Pre-FDS, I declined coffee dates, because I don’t like coffee and I feel like coffee shops are impersonal.Leveling up! I love it. I just unmatched a guy who asked me to chill out with him soon. I asked: ohhh so you want to be just friends? He tried to make it into a discussion telling me I should ‘go with the flow’ and that ‘he wants to see where it goes.’ I unmatched that ass. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/21 07:07 PM |
| 11 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered December 3 2020Proud of you for spotting red flags! I used to be blind to them and reading your story makes me glad I can spot it now too. My ex actually did all these things, so weird! He turned out to be an abusive man with nothing going for him in life. I applaud you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/20 07:32 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered December 3 2020Love that quote! Thank you for sharing. Feel free to steal them haha! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/20 07:29 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered December 3 2020It’s nice to hear you are looking forward to it!! That’s great! What are you planning to do? If you have any tips let me know, maybe a wonderful feel good movie to watch even? Hmmm, well I’ve bought myself some make up (love doing artsy alt make up), some facial creams and masks and a bottle of good champagne to open at midnight! And I bought some toys and catnip for my cat haha. I still want to buy some more stuff so I can make a little pile. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/20 07:28 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered December 3 2020Aww that must hurt! To be honest I was kind of hurt too that none of my friends wanted to celebrate, but once I decided to party alone and gather ideas of what to do, I suddenly started to look forward to it! I hope you’ll have a good time during Christmas. Make some nice meals for yourself. And I’m thinking I’m going to bed around 1 am on New Year’s Eve after my letter burning ritual! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/20 07:25 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered December 3 2020That would be lovely! And feel free to use my ideas :) I just ordered a nice bottle of champagne for myself to place next to my Christmas tree! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/20 07:22 PM |
| 19 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered December 3 2020Hi ladies! Are any of you also spending New Year’s Eve alone? I am. And I’m feeling a bit sad about it. I have asked some family members and friends what they are doing and they all told me their plans without inviting me, so I didn’t want to intrude by inviting myself. The friend I’ve celebrated it with last year is very focused on her new friend group and has been avoiding my question about New Years, so I decided to let that idea go as wel and decided to celebrate alone and make it a good eve… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/20 03:23 PM |
| 2 | That ex that won’t leave you alone...An ex stalked my social media too and even hijacked them a few times. I deleted all of them. I felt the same way about it at first: why should I delete my social media and lose all these contacts if he’s the one stalking me? But in the end it was better for my mental health if I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. That’s why I choose to delete it, it was very stressful and I needed a break from the constant fear that he would hijack my accounts again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 03:30 PM |
| 99 | This is like when men say that they’re pregnant 😭 they’ll take credit for EVERYTHING periodtThe risk of the gamble was all on her, since it was all her money. So the profit should also be all on her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 02:32 PM |
| 14 | Why SHOULDN’T we kink shame? When did we all decide people’s sexual preferences were separate from their actual values?Yes! It’s one thing to go online and look up kink communities to kink shame people, that’s looking for someone to bully online. But if a person wants to do a sexual activity with me which I find gross or disrespectful then I can say that without it being kink shaming. What you said about crossing women’s boundaries and calling them judgemental and crazy, that’s exactly what it is. They are gaslighting you and guilting you into doing the sexual activity with him. My ex actually alwaaaays did this… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 02:16 PM |
| 4 | How do y’all deal with LVM fathers?I have accepted it for what it is. I used to start discussions and fights with him to try and change his behaviour. But since therapy I’ve learned to not have any expectations toward him. If we have a nice talk over coffee I enjoy it for what it is. I expect zero, so the small things are a plus. My dad actually congratulated me a day to soon. It hurt like hell that he didn’t knew my birthday, but I keep those emotions for myself now. I just told him he was too early and that was it. I can progre… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/20 10:49 AM |
| 133 | I think she is gonna need us!!Women: I’m here for you, these are the steps you need to take, make sure you are safe, leave him. Men: bUt WhAT aBoUt FaLSe ACcuSaTIoNs? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/20 10:31 AM |
| 52 | What do you think about guys that say that women are more beautiful without makeup and that they prefer "natural" women?It’s about controlling how you look. If you wouldn’t wear makeup they’d say they prefer makeup on women. It’s just a way to put women down and control them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/20 12:27 PM |
| 40 | Wife with pneumonia and COVID-19 wonders if “she’s the asshole” for accidentally falling asleep while babysitting her husband who accidentally cut his fingerDamn, this guy is not even a child. A child would not sit around with a bleeding finger for three hours. This reminds me of one of the abusive characters Lundy Bancroft describes. Deliberately putting himself in a bad situation so he can blame his wife for it, so he has more power to manipulate with being a victim. He even tries to be a victim about it to their friends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/20 10:39 AM |
| 88 | NVM EntitlementThis is my ex and I tried to be all those things. I’m so glad I woke up from that nightmare and got out of the relationship. He was very abusive and made me feel worthless. I kept trying to prove my worth while he was a lazy manipulative addict. Now I am free and healing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/20 10:28 AM |
| 51 | Consider it a red flag if a guy isn't wild about any unique features of yours.In my experience men who do this don’t want to build up your confidence or even want to lower it. He knows it’s a beautiful feature of you and that you get complimented on it. Just an insecure guy taking away your shine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/04/20 03:11 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/20/2020Thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 01:48 PM |
| 31 | LVM husband showers in the morning, gets in bed at night and sits his smelly ass on the pillows. AITA tells her she is overreacting.My guess is she’s the one who switches and washes the sheets, for him it’s no extra work to be gross, for her is an extra hour cleaning up after a gross man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 11:55 AM |
| 20 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/20/2020Ladies, I’m sad. I see so clearly now that my mom is with a low value man. I get sad and angry witnessing how he manipulates her into serving him food and drinks and how she’s laughing about comments he makes on her appearance. He even tries to do it to me! I don’t respond with a smile and my mom immediately comes in running to tell me ‘he was just joking’. No, he wasn’t! But I can’t start that argument because it wouldn’t change anything. I see my dad is a lvm, he doesn’t even asks me how I’m d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 10:06 AM |
| 83 | Spotted on r/sexaddiction I don’t want to end up with another man like this. I’m afraid of missing the signs like their wives/gfs did...May I ask, how do you get this information from them? Do you lie and pretend to be okay with it, so they spill the beans? An ex pretended he wasn’t into any of that and after 6 months of being together I found out he was in an ‘online relationship’ with a 19 yo camgirl only to sell her nudes and vids. Still throw up when I think about the fact that I had sex with this man. Scarred for life, I don’t trust men anymore when they pretend to be a good guy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 12:28 PM |
| 11 | Look out for what he says about your spendingMy two exes were both cheap. The last one was the worst, he took control over my savings in such an abusive way and controlled it. Men want to own women and their money. He was jealous I had savings and a good income and wanted to own it. I’m so thankful I see the red flags now. Was on a date with a guy a few months ago. I told him I want to do a specific study in a few years, just because I find it interesting and I love to learn. I’m saving to do so. He told me that I should not do it because … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/20 09:21 AM |
| 3 | How he sets you up, targets you, and grooms youFacts! Spot on. Thanks for sharing. Helps to know it was a deliberate trap I fell for which I can recognise and avoid in the future. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 01:09 PM |
| 14 | Why FDS was created :)For me it’s not all about someone having a great job or life, but about their mindset. I’ve had some rich, successful friends who were toxic and liked to make me feel less. Took me a while to realise I had to cut them off. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/04/20 03:44 PM |
| 1 | how should i end a long-term relationship with an extremely lvm?It’s about your safety now, it doesn’t matter what other people think about the break up. There are organisations that can help you to get out. You can go to r/abusiverelationships for resources. If he kills himself, it will not be your fault. He probably won’t do it, he’s just using it to keep you. My abusive ex said that too and he’s still alive, abusing someone new. He won’t do it. Don’t stay because of this threat. Can you ask your dad to drive the car? Take the car keys and have someone tak… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/04/20 09:45 AM |
| 19 | Reminder: men/women who are willing to meet while in this pandemic are TRASH. -not my convo-I agree. I deleted OLD from my phone. I’m focusing on my friends and family, make sure I know who needs support and spend online time with them. Call my parents more often. I know these people are worth my time and energy and a lot of the men on OLD aren’t. So during this pandemic I’d rather give my time to people of which I know will be there for me when I need some support. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/04/20 08:19 AM |
| 9 | Rihanna Donates $4.2 Million to Domestic Violence Victims Impacted by COVID-19 LockdownsThat’s amazing! If you need help, dm me. I have time to help you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/04/20 08:13 AM |
| 11 | Quarantine is clouding my judgement.I agree with this. Cancelling dinner with his mom and then blaming it on her is shady. Since he tried to lie about this I think he’s indeed doing the same with his friends, he blames stuff on you. He’s just as immature as his friends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/20 04:32 PM |
| 16 | Red flags for bi women dating menI would like to add: constantly asking if you find certain women attractive making a point to find out what your type of woman is telling you which women he thinks are attractive and pointing them out, asking what you think I’m not your friend, we are dating. If you were serious about me, you wouldn’t want me to focus on other people while we are out on a date. Just like you shouldn’t do that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/20 10:58 AM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/4/2020That’s a lot! It’s very lonely, these times and with everything there’s happening in your family. You’re mom and dad are making bad decisions, that hurts and is confusing I think. It’s very nice if you’re friends parents to offer to help. Have they talked with your mom? Maybe she will listen to them. At least it will help you, so you are not responsible for helping your mom all alone. Take care of yourself too, don’t forget about that. Stay strong sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/20 10:55 PM |
| 20 | Is it concerning that I can't find him online?For me it is signal to be cautious. Had two bad experiences with guys who were anti social media. At first I thought it was a good thing they weren’t on social media, but turned out to be different. First guy didn’t use it because he was doing illegal stuff and didn’t want to be found in any way. The second one was very insecure and didn’t want to be part of of society and be judged, that was too much pressure for him. Now I must say, this is not always a red flag. For instance I don’t have soci… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/20 10:34 PM |
| 12 | My bf ghosted me for 4 days because he was “stressed”Hvm don’t ghost. It looks like he doesn’t care about you, he’s doing just enough to keep you around. He doesn’t want you to move near him? That’s shady. He’s not divorced yet? Then don’t date him. If he can’t handle stressful situations, he doesn’t seem like a good partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/20 10:30 AM |
| 16 | Serious question: are you still allowed to be a part of FDS even if you don't 100% agree with everything?This sub is not about hating men, so I’d say that you’re welcome here if you don’t hate men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/20 11:39 AM |
| 16 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (March 23rd 2020)Back with a rant. I had three dates with this guy. First two were great, we laughed a lot, had great conversations, little bit of a spark. Then he started suggesting home dates. I told him I don’t do that. He seemed okay with that. But the day of the third date he suddenly seemed different. He didn’t suggest a time and place, he didn’t seem enthusiastic to see me. I asked him if he even wanted to meet. He then fast came up with somewhere to go and that he’ll be there in 30 minutes. The date was … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/20 09:21 AM |
| 12 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (March 23rd 2020)Why in the world do men think it’s acceptable to criticise a woman’s looks without being asked. It happens so often and it always feels like the man doing it doesn’t have good intentions doing it. It makes me feel like I need to please their eyes, only my looks have value and I should dress up for men. My stepdad recently told me I looked bad while I was video-calling my mom, he tried to joke about it. Dude, I’m in quarantine. I’m not gonna dress up for a video call. Why should I even explain to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/20 05:50 PM |
| 33 | Quarantine or GTFOAbusers always pretend they don’t remember what they did the next day. You’ll feel crazy because of this and start to wonder what really happened. He’s taking advantage of being stuck in a house together, so he can treat you like shit. These are his true colours, it will only get worse. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/20 07:09 PM |
| 11 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered March 15th 2020OLD’s are a mess right now. Most people want to be in quarantine with you and lure you with the food they’ve collected. Others have so much time on their hands that they’re telling their whole life stories and everything they are doing, thinking and feeling. I’m not your sex toy and I’m not your therapist!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/20 01:00 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 3/7/2020Happy for you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/20 10:36 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 3/7/2020I’m thinking a lot about whether I’m ready to date and why I want to date. I’ve had a difficult few years and have been working on my mental health for a year now, working on getting my life together and feel good again. Things are starting to improve for me now, yay! I initially felt like I wasn’t ready for a relationship, but I would enjoy fun dates and some positive vibes with new people. I thought I was ready for a few dates! So I started dating using OLD. But it’s been a lot of drama with m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/20 10:29 PM |
| 8 | Can someone tell me why rather being embarrassed about being so annoying/clingy you got blocked, LVM feel empowered to do stuff like this?I blocked this guy once and the days after I kept receiving anonymous calls 🤦🏼♀️ I just knew it was him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/20 12:52 AM |
| 18 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 2/20/2020Need to vent for a bit. I’m disappointed in the people around me. I see so many girl friends and family members accepting low value behaviour and so many men around me trying to get away with it. My own mom told me I should be less picky because this way I’ll never find a men. But to be honest, if what I’m seeing all around me is how it is most of the time, then I don’t want a man at all. Starting to give up on dating, maybe it’s time to. Dating wise, finally a guy made the first date cut. I’ve … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/20 08:59 PM |
| 7 | How do you respond when a men cancels a date?After reading all the comments (thank you so much ladies!!) I decided to turn down the dates he sent and tell him when it was convenient for me. I guess he didn’t like that, he got vague about our plans. Last thing he sent was: I’ll see you somewhere next week then. I did not respond and block him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/20 08:58 AM |
| 62 | So my mom is plannin on divorcing my dad after years of abuse. He doesn’t know yet. He lost his wedding ring (for the second time) and mom found it. She sold it and bought herself this cute ring. I’m so proud of her. (Pablo, our cat is too)Does your mom have a safety plan? Came here to say it’s very important to have one and get out following the plan. I’m very happy she’s leaving! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/20 04:02 PM |
| 47 | How do you respond when a men cancels a date?Thanks ladies! I ignored him for a bit, because I didn’t like how he didn’t apologise and didn’t immediately set a new date. Felt fake, like you girls said! Big chance he had another offer for tonight and decided to go for that one or he’s just flaky. But he’s now profusely apologising and texting multiple days he’s available. I’m gonna leave him hanging a bit longer and think about it. I don’t like it when a guy cancels on the day itself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/20 12:15 PM |
| 20 | IMO insecurity is the biggest thing you should avoid in a man. What are some signs of insecurity that youve noticed???Oh yes this is such a turn off for me. I’m 6’1, so I always double check a men’s height since a lot of them lie on their profiles. But most of the times the guys who lie are insecure about it start that convo on their own. I don’t even mind dating someone who is a bit shorter. But they act so insecure about me being taller, that they’re instantly unattractive to me. I even tell them: as long as you’re totally okay with it, I am too. Still they keep talking about if I wear heels a lot and that we… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 02:03 PM |
| 20 | IMO insecurity is the biggest thing you should avoid in a man. What are some signs of insecurity that youve noticed???Talking bad about other people to you. Being jealous. Not trusting you with other men like coworkers. Trying to make you insecure about yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 12:53 PM |
| 12 | Recovering Pickmeishas: Highlight Some of Your Lowest Pickmeisha Moments/RelationshipsYeah, looking back at it I became his mother, that’s how much help he ‘needed’ with everything. He was depressed and I get that’s hard, but I did stuff like this for years for him. I didn’t have energy left for myself, felt like I was his therapist and mom. Didn’t find him even remotely attractive anymore. Should have ended that wayyyyy sooner. Glad my eyes are open now :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/20 10:51 PM |
| 21 | Recovering Pickmeishas: Highlight Some of Your Lowest Pickmeisha Moments/RelationshipsI paid for everything. Didn’t walk away after spotting red flags. Accepted that he didn’t give me gifts or did anything special for me. Took him back after he cheated on me. Woke him up every morning and helped him get through his morning routine so he would go to school. Do all the emotional labour by myself. Plan and organise holidays for us by myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/20 10:47 PM |
| 3 | Tell me your Valentine’s Day plans: the good, bad, ugly. Preferably bad date storiesAh I feel for you. That really sucks. Your break up is not that long ago so I get that this first single v day must be hard. But you got this! You got those strawberries! Do you have other things planned to take care of yourself today? Watch your favourite movie or do a face mask and your nails? Do a lot of self care. My morning was all self care and writing about how far I’ve come this year and how proud I am of me. I really need stuff like that to get through days like this. Maybe it could hel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 11:30 PM |
| 7 | Tell me your Valentine’s Day plans: the good, bad, ugly. Preferably bad date storiesI’m glad my friend was willing to! I came out of a really bad relationship exactly a year ago, so I asked for her support today. Valentines + first time break up day came around = a bit much. How were the strawberries? I’m gonna enjoy the gifts I bought myself and watch a fun movie or something to end the night :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 10:58 PM |
| 9 | Tell me your Valentine’s Day plans: the good, bad, ugly. Preferably bad date storiesWent out for drinks tonight with a good girl friend. We dressed up, felt pretty, talked a lot and laughed our asses off. This afternoon I bought body lotion, perfume and make up for myself :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 10:37 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Feb. 5th 2020)When he asked over text I actually said to myself: THE AUDACITY!? Hahaha love thinking like this thanks to this sub. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/20 10:35 AM |
| 12 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Feb. 5th 2020)I’ve been reading here a lot and I love FDS and everyone here supporting each other. Just wanted to start with stating this. Now I’ve been starting to apply the rules since two weeks while matching and talking to guys on OLD and I’m shocked to say that zero guys has made it to a real date with me. I’ve now blocked all the guys I thought were worth a date. Reasons: - saying he’s sick, cancelling the first date and then asking me to come take care of him. - asking me to come to his house so he can… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 09:33 PM |
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