TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

capitalawesome2016 Archive

View 0 posts and 69 comments by capitalawesome2016 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Hang in there roshi, try not to be too hard on yourself. You can do this.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 06:22 AM
2

Wow, so similar to mine and many others. I'm glad you shared. This will absolutely help someone else. Great write up. I hope you can move forward and get happier every day.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 04:41 AM
2

If you want to go, go, have fun, catch up with your old friends and simply ignore her. You don't have to say hi or acknowledge her. Let everyone see how happy you are. Be well groomed. If she comes up be cordial. You can do this! Hopefully she doesn't do this, but if she tries pushing your buttons don't engage her. Ignore it or walk away. She'll end up making herself look bad as the aggressor. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 04:31 AM
1

I kept the photos and when I go through the old ones I usually delete her or crop her out. I have many happy memories of vacations with her and the kids when we were married, and I want those photos of the kids, just not her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 04:25 AM
1

How old are your daughters? You need to do whatever you can to shield yourself from getting emotionally hurt by your wife. She's not acting like a wife. If you kids are deemed old enough to express what they want for custody it won't matter what your wife says. Stop drinking alcohol so you can have a clear mind to make decisions every day. Be the best dad your can and focus on your daughters at this point. Make sure to keep yourself employed. Be around your kids as much as possible to reduce the…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 04:20 AM
2

Getting a new spouse can definitely mess up kids, more when they are younger. My kids are pretty young 6/7/9 and I'm hair focusing on them and being the best dad I can for then. It's been very rewarding and when I don't have them I am enjoying freedom and playing sports and rock climbing. I'm pretty happy without dating and drama right now. My kids are young and need me. Maybe when they're older and aren't around as much I'll want to start dating. Good nite I'm good, and the kids are happy too.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 03:54 AM
6

Don't trust her, you probably need to file for divorce first especially because she took your kid. Your first action when meeting with your lawyer probably should be getting your kid back, sometimes they can get an emergency session with the judge. How old is the kid? Is the vehicle she took in your name or hers or both? Ask your lawyer about getting a recording device. Get as much communication with your wife in writing as possible. If it have a verbal conversation and come to an agreement or d…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 03:44 AM
2

Definitely get it in writing and signed by a judge ASAP before shit hits the fan. If you can get it done you can save yourself $20,000+ in legal fees. Sorry to hear it didn't work out but you can be thankful she's not trying to accuse you of domestic violence and get you kicked out. If you have interest in sports find a local pickup game. Or if not sports board games or books? Whatever you're interested in check around for local groups that get together. Maybe meetup.com has something. I've made…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 07:11 PM
1

I've seen it happen. The Mom is miserable, living in some small apartment not great for kids because she wasted money on booze, the dad is happy, welcoming, and has a decent house with a yard and swingset, guess who gets more time with the grandkids.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 01:35 PM
1

Sorry man, I know it's hard, my ex always needed to get the last word in and get like she "won" It got so bad that the kids would see the arguing and the kids were getting extremely upset listening it to so I eventually stopped arguing and let her win so the kids wouldn't have you hear her yell. Listen to this, it helped give me perspective and the persistence to stay in the marriage and make the marriage as peaceful as I could by not engaging her. It was hard but I don't regret any of my effort…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 07:19 AM
1

You need to file first and get a body cam and cameras in the house! All she needs to do is throw her phone at the wall, or hit herself with a frying pan and tell the police you did it and if you can't prove otherwise you could be screwed. You can't live like that for too long, trust me I've been there, I know.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 06:54 AM
-3

Don't throw away ten years of a good thing. Imagine if you can improve things and get back to where you both were sexually, that's way better than leaving her and never finding that great sex again. Meanwhile another dude steps in and eats her out for 20 minutes and she's crying for more from him. Something is going on with her and you need to be empathetic and get her comfortable enough to talk about it. Try to have a conversation with her. I recommend the book "Five Love Languages" it sounds l…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 06:26 AM
1

Don't be ashamed just keep recognizing it and try to move forward. Try to forgive because the anger is only going to weigh you down and you can't change the past. You say she's living her best life but she's being really selfish and the kids will see that and when they're older they're going to want to be with you more than her and even when the grandkids come. Just keep being a great dad and get the best quality time with your kids while you're with them.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 06:09 AM
2

Sorry to hear, but I'm glad you're doing well. It's not your fault. Similar story to mine. I made a bunch of good changes (getting in shape, be more positive) and it didn't matter, she had made her decision long ago. But the changes I made helped me and my children and I'm far better off. Those statements from her sound manipulative, she shouldn't be saying stuff like that after divorce. Try to ignore comments like that and focus on your kids. Be "business -professional" with your communication …
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 04:23 AM
3

Sorry you're going through this but she found someone else, you need to accept that it's not your fault but it is over and get a lawyer as well as everything swordfish said. You can do this when it's all over with you'll be happier. Stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:58 AM
1

What kind of change? Is it reasonable requests? Do you have kids? Do you want to stay with her? Are the changes she wants things that will improve yourself, your relationship with your kids, , or things you want for your family life? If there's a chance to reconcile I recommend it and get a marriage counselor. I found this podcast very helpful https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-deep-dive-podcast-should-you-stay-in-your-marriage-for-the-sake-of-the-kids
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:55 AM
3

Congrats on the new job, it sounds like a great development all around. More time with your kids during divorce is always good. Don't antagonize her with comments if you want things to continue to be civil. Don't say anything you would write down in a text. Keep communication professional and no emotion. Act like you are being recorded on audio all the time. Stay positive and get the best quality time you can with your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:47 AM
2

Definitely say no to anything sexual right now. It could be a trap and even if it's not, you'll be on an emotional rollercoaster that will mess you up. You could ask if she wants to recommend (if that's what your want) and if so, start dating and do nothing sexual. She broke her martial vows and she needs to prove herself. You both need to fall in love with each other again, slowly, with nothing physical distracting you. If you both want to reconcile get a marriage counselor to help. Either way …
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:38 AM
4

It won't help him to learn about infidelity, it will probably only hurt him. Let him know you love him, it's not his fault, and your want to be there for him. Then show him through your actions over the next few years that it mean every word you said. Your a good father and he'll see that.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:30 AM
3

Has she filed for divorce or is there still time to reconcile? Do you have kids? I recommend listening to this podcast, it may help on future conversations with your wife and maybe she would even benefit from listening. It brings up a lot of points people (women) don't think about when filing for divorce https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-deep-dive-podcast-should-you-stay-in-your-marriage-for-the-sake-of-the-kids Swordfish is spot on with the advice. Keep posting here, we got your back. Lots of g…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:25 AM
2

Thanks for modding this community, it's helped me and I've seen it help many others. I love contributing here and seeing so many supportive comments with GREAT solid ACTIONABLE advice. Sorry to hear about your divorce battles, I hope over or at least getting better for you. Stay strong!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:17 AM
1

Save the emails just in case you go back to court but do your best to ignore them and don't ever respond. Don't let them bother you. Only communicate with her about your son and only to the extent you need to for co-parenting. Logic does not apply here so don't bother to try to understand her reasons for doing this or anything else. She's going though an emotional crisis and there are no reasons or at least none that are logical.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 10:50 AM
6

Get a therapist, they can help and be your outlet. It's normal to feel these things especially when your kids are young. It will get better. You can do this and your kids will appreciate it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 10:04 AM
2

Your child needs you and loves you. You're a good dad. Be strong for your child. It will be the most rewarding thing you can do and your child will appreciate it without knowing. Don't speak badly about your ex, always take the high road. You can do this and we can support you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 09:59 AM
1

Go back, Jesus still loves you and wants you to be with Him. I've met a few divorced fathers at my Catholic Church and become friends with them. Many men seem to find happiness in fraternity even if they don't get remarried. You could also discuss the possibility of annulment with a priest.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 08:17 PM
5

Women are more emotional and empathetic and I think that makes it easier for them to get support from other women. My guy friends were similar and most didn't offer support but it i asked to talk they were willing to listen. Do you have any family nearby that can help? Is your divorce final? Make sure your document the date she moved out and document every night what meal you cook for your son and take pictures occasionally so they're is evidence she's not there and your taking care of the kid. …
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 10:58 AM
2

That amount of history seems excessive, at least compared to what I needed to produce (1 year of statements, paychecks tax docs, NO receipts) and my lawyer didn't provide hers with anything until I fully reviewed what my ex delivered. Several times my ex delivered less than what they were asking. If you haven't been with this lawyer long you could find another, which might delay things a month or two
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 03:51 AM
1

Go after her and get it back. Your kids probably want you both to get back together as well. And when you get her back learn some humility, it is essential for a successful marriage. Good luck, you got this!
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 03:42 AM
1

You did the right thing coming here to vent instead of Fakebook. People don't want to hear complaints about an ex spouse, and anyone with half a brain knows there are two sides to every divorce. Anyone that is believing her side is an idiot and don't let it bother you. Be present at the games and talk to people and be nice and laid back. The more they see how your daughter interacts with you the more they will know your ex is lying. Never complain to your daughter about her and your daughter wil…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 03:37 AM
2

1) don't fight in front of the kids, if things are escalating you reach can tell the other "I am feeling flooded and need a break, let's talk again in 10 minutes" and walk out of the room for a breather. Your marriage counselor can help you with this 2) give it more time and you both need to be willing to compromise. It might take time but it's important to let go of the past, forgive and moved forward 3) I listened to this and it helped give me a perspective on what I should do with my marriage…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 11:50 AM
3

I agree, screw the state. We're on the same page. I'm talking mainly about making a public declaration of love and commitment to be together forever in front of God, family and friends. That public statement of vows holds more weight than a piece of paper and people should try their best to honor that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:46 PM
3

Kids are innocent victims of divorce and their parents failures to work together and honor their marital vows. Kids deserve to be raised by parents who are committed to each other for life (marriage) because that commitment gives kids a feeling of security if mom and dad do argue once in a while. People shouldn't be having kids if they aren't seriously committed to commiting to each other for life and really trying very hard to make it work through the hardest of times. I wouldn't have kids with…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 07:37 AM
2

Remove your name from that credit card and withdraw half your joint savings account to an account she can't access. If she doesn't like it, she can fight that and she'll lose because you'll point out that $20,000 she spent in wasting marital assets.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 05:18 AM
3

One day I got home and all the good & expensive stuff was gone... Tv, kitchen stuff, wedding gifts, etc. I was left with the cracked coffee mugs and mismatched plates and cheap Walmart shelving unit. On the positive side, less stuff to move made less work for me and less clutter in the new place!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 05:11 AM
-2

Don't be afraid of marriage, a happy marriage that lasts until death is a beautiful thing and brings much joy to the couple, and their children and grandchildren. But be smart about choosing a wife. Learn from my mistakes... get a good Catholic priest and go through a thorough marriage prep. They know what to look for and what conversations to have to see if the marriage will last. Also when choosing a spouse meet her family and observe her parents and how they treat each other. It's very likely…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 05:03 AM
2

Probably nothing will come of it but it's obnoxious, intrusive, and uncomfortable. Text her that from now on she's not allowed on the property or in your house and you'll send the kids out to her car. Get a ring doorbell or wifi trail cam to record the front of your property. Get car-only pickups written in the MSA. She should not be coming in your house and she wouldn't allow you in hers.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 04:55 AM
2

Your 1 year old wanted to go to the zoo, not drive around. You can do this! Bring a bag with spare diapers, wipes, spare clothes, and food and go do stuff with her! Have some confidence, you just need to get out there and do stuff and then you'll discover you're fine and you can handle much more than you think.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 09:14 PM
2

My rekindling attempts were a pretty one-sided/uphill battle. I was able to get things to a happier place for about two years but divorce unfortunately was inevitable with the amount of parenting and family time things we did not agree on (and she was unwilling to compromise, and my ideas were always bad/wrong). I don't regret any of that effort as it did make both of us happier and the kids happier. It also extended the marriage long enough so that when she filed the kids were able to dictate e…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 04:21 PM
1

Some divorced people can make invites like this work, but since she told your son it makes me think it's manipulating, making her look good for inviting you. It's possible she just wanted a reciprocal Christmas invite. But don't overreact or complain about this to your son. Just calmly explain to your son that with divorce there is separate time and you both love him. Your son will get over it if you don't make it a big deal. Your ex might keep doing this and you might have to have the same conv…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 03:57 PM
2

Sorry to hear this. Have you talked to your wife about how you feel and trying to rekindle things? I listened to this podcast and it helped me. Dr Laura has other great content about rekindling marriages. https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-deep-dive-podcast-should-you-stay-in-your-marriage-for-the-sake-of-the-kids
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 03:45 PM
2

Being a dad and husband is a big self sacrifice, I felt the way you did for a long time. Unfortunately I'm divorced now but not by my choice.The marriage needs to come first before the kids. Go on dates, give to ourselves a break from the kids, couples therapy does help, try to rekindle the love you once had. The kids suffer most for the divorce, even amicable divorces. When the kids are young it's the hardest time on your marriage. It gets easier as they get older. Listening to this really help…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 03:39 PM
3

I'm not a lawyer but in my experience with my divorce she certainly could take out at least half and probably would not get in trouble with the judge. She could probably take more if it's too pay for legal fees. It really depends. As part of discovery, your lawyer will request all her statements so you can see where the money goes. If you're concerned about this, consider talking to her and agreeing to each take out half only if each person going forward will deposit a specific equal amount to p…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 03:29 PM
0

Keep in mind you're coming to a forum with an anti-marriage bias. Are you looking for affirmation of something you already believe? Marriage is a beautiful thing and there are many marriages that work great and make the husband and wife better and build on each other. That being said... Make sure you pick a good one, don't settle. And make sure you meet her parents and see how their marriage is and what their values are. Ask yourself if you want to live how her parents live because many times wo…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 12:52 PM
2

If she's telling you she's scared of taking care of the kids by herself she probably hasn't talked to a lawyer. No lawyer would advise her to say something like that. If you think reconciliation is possible listen to this and if you think it will help your wife, send it to her and see if she'll listen. Be positive and show her hope. No one ever said raising kids is easy, and neither is marriage. You're both going through a really hard time and so are the kids. https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-d…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 04:29 AM
2

If she wants it to be amicable she needs to show it. Get it in writing. Text her, say you want to be amicable too. 50/50 asset split. Start with that. Then gauge her on the parenting time... Do you want equal time? If so do you think she'll agree? Does your state start at equal time arrangement like some do? What about 45/55? If you can get close to equal without lawyers that will save a ton in legal fees. You will have to compromise a little (and so will she), divorce is lose/lose... Just don't…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:40 AM
2

Get a divorce lawyer. Talk to a few if necessary, until you find one who can represent you. Don't tell her you're getting one. Get a therapist if you need to vent. Her bringing her boyfriend over the house is sick... That needs to stop... Something to ask the lawyer or therapist about recommendations for. Continue to be around your kids and take care of them. You're a good father and they love you. Stop talking to her verbally, only communicate over text or email. If she tries to start an argume…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:25 AM
1

I recommend getting a therapist. It was helpful for me to discuss and get stuff off my chest without draining my friends and family too much. Just be careful
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:02 AM
2

Therapists will tell you it's very common to lose connection after having kids, it's a big change and the first few years are the most difficult. Think long term. Your connection for the rest of your lives will be your love for each other and also your mutual love for your kids and grandkids. Never stop putting in the work to your marriage, that just come first.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 08:22 AM
2

Listen to this, it helped put things in perspective for me. https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-deep-dive-podcast-should-you-stay-in-your-marriage-for-the-sake-of-the-kids
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 08:17 AM
1

This is great news... Lol. Sorry you're going through this but good luck, at least something went your way
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 08:01 AM
2

Can you make the change at school or daycare or a sporting event for the kids rather than at the house?
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 07:37 AM
2

Do not tell the kids until things are very close to final agreement in court. Have you had conversations about how bad things have gotten with her? Listening to this may help. https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-deep-dive-podcast-should-you-stay-in-your-marriage-for-the-sake-of-the-kids
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 07:33 AM
1

Listening to this had a big impact on me and may help you. It also may help your spouse to listen to it, if you can have a conversation about sanding the marriage. It's worth trying https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-deep-dive-podcast-should-you-stay-in-your-marriage-for-the-sake-of-the-kids
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 07:29 AM
2

The yelling and arguing is awful for the kids. Tell her you don't want to argue or yell anymore and if discussions get too tense say something like "I'm feeling flooded right now, I need a 5 minute break." And if she keeps arguing turn your back and walk away, leave the room if necessary. If discussions can be done over text message that would prevent yelling, and also everything would be documented over text. If she starts an argument, don't engage her. If you don't think she will agree to 50/5…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 10:29 AM
1

This sounds like a horrible idea... Think of your (future) kids. If you are concerned about your assets, concerned about her leaving you in the future, or you leaving her... And you can't commit to your marital vows, you should not be having kids together. Find someone you can commit to be with for the rest of your life and have kids with them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 03:27 PM
5

Sorry to hear, that's awful. Sounds almost like a trap... take husband to her family, lots of witnesses on her side, none in yours. I hope she didn't do this in front of your daughter. I hope the judge/court acts quickly to get you fair 50/50 access to your daughter. Don't leave the marital home. Try not to be alone with your wife, as little as possible. If you have family nearby, invite them over the house. Follow your attorney's advice and look for a therapist, you can get advice from a therap…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 01:50 AM
1

Yes, unfortunately, it's not easy, but you would be kind and respectful to a stranger, so be kind and respectful to her. Kill her with kindness. She might even want you to lash out to see that you're hurting, so don't give her any satisfaction if that's the case. Be respectful and kind to her and her family for the kids, be a role model for how you want the kids to treat others. The kids will remember.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 11:04 PM
5

Did they walk out or did you get kicked out? You can't get kicked out of your own house. Do you know where they are? Fight for your daughter and make sure you can see her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 09:48 PM
4

Do you have kids? Doesn't sound like it but If so, let your attorney know the schedule you want. Regarding everything else, the more you and your wife can agree to the cheaper it will be. You don't vacate the home until your lawyer says it's ok. You and your wife may get sent to free mediation which is a good way to reduce legal fees. Be prepared to sacrifice a little financially (especially on physical items) to get out quickly and with lower legal fees. Courts value most physical items at esse…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 10:54 PM
2

Get a therapist for yourself. Ask the GAL if they can appoint a co-parenting counselor and order you and your wife to go to sessions (probably will be separate sessions). Having a co-parenting counselor will help make sure their mom is reasonable about coparenting things. Keep showing up at sports games and doctors appointments if possible. Get exercise, if you like playing volleyball or basketball find a group that plays together, or hiking, and make new friends there. Karate is a great outlet …
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 10:44 PM
1

She has the kids full time out of state against your wishes?? The kids want to be with you! You need to step up and let her know it's not ok to take your kids away from you. Send her a text. Get that in writing. Get her response in writing. Call the police to ask if there's anything they can do for out of state kidnapping (probably not because they're with their mom). Her lawyer may have advised her to move out with the kids. Getting your kids back to you needs to be the top issue you discuss wi…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 03:23 AM
3

Sorry you're going through this... And for the kids. Always try your best to be a good role model for your kids. Be positive and respectful no matter how much it hurts. Avoid conflict. It's not easy but your kids will appreciate it when they're older. Don't show your ex it bothers you. Focus on high quality time with your kids when they're with you. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 03:11 AM
2

Listen to this and if you think it would help ask your wife to listen. Good luck. https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-deep-dive-podcast-should-you-stay-in-your-marriage-for-the-sake-of-the-kids
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 03:05 AM
3

Awesome advice, I agree spot on. The only thing I would add is Dr Laura has a great episode on staying together that (I hope) would be a good reality check and talk some people in to staying together and improving the marriage. You listen and if you think it would help ask your wife to listen. Let her know you're committed to the marital vows and want to try to make it work. Find a couples therapist. https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-deep-dive-podcast-should-you-stay-in-your-marriage-for-the-sak…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 03:04 AM
7

It sounds toxic, she's making threats, you need to accept that it's over, for your own mental health. Sorry you're going through this... I was in your shoes recently. You need a lawyer. Keep the audio recordings and back them up somewhere. Don't move out, get everything in writing (text or email). as said above, there must be a signed agreement about custody/schedule/finances before you move out. You could offer to move out half the time and she moves out half the time (week-on/week-off or 5/2).…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 02:39 PM
1

Your situation sounds similar to what happened with me. Even after I accepted divorce was inevitable, I cried every time I thought of how and when to tell the kids. listen to this podcast and ask your wife to listen to it as well... since you still need to coparent, it's worth considering staying married longer because many of the problems remain unresolved even during co-parenting. https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-deep-dive-podcast-should-you-stay-in-your-marriage-for-the-sake-of-the-kids Advi…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 02:18 PM
2

You have kids, have you considered counseling? Kids suffer the most in divorce. How old are your kids and how many? Please put it their needs first. Please listen to this: https://www.drlaura.com/dr-lauras-deep-dive-podcast-should-you-stay-in-your-marriage-for-the-sake-of-the-kids I don't have any other information besides what you posted , but if there is no physical abuse or verbal abuse and your wife put you on the defensive with an obnoxious threat. The marriage could be salvageable.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 01:28 AM
0

Unless there is abuse or drugs the courts probably won't care, unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 11:42 PM
1

Can you afford to rent your own smaller place and end the shared nesting? It could go downhill fast if she's doing weird things like this. She could also have a hidden audio recording device that is not on the network, battery operated recording devices can last for weeks and can be small.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 11:30 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter