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capn_barnacles Archive

View 3 posts and 111 comments by capn_barnacles on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

Another good one with a similar theme: "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty".
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 03:11 PM
2

If your workouts are unguided, hire a trainer. Even if it's temporary, to help build you some workouts, show you form, etc
/r/askMRP06/09/24 10:31 PM
2

This. If you're initiating at night, only option usually is to go to sleep. If it's during the day, then do what you were about to do if you hadn't initiated. It only comes across as butt hurt if it's something that you would other never do at that time of day. But who cares if it appears as butt hurt. If it's something productive for you, go do it.
/r/askMRP27/08/22 02:43 AM
2

Not being into you isn't bad behavior.
/r/askMRP10/08/22 10:07 PM
3

Pick one thing, focus on that 100% for two weeks. At the end think about what worked for you, what didn't, and how you could tweak it. Then pick a different thing, do that for two weeks. Repeat. If you try to do everything all at once, it you will fail. There's lots of good tools in here. Too many to try all at once. And many that isn't a fit for you or what you're trying to accomplish. Edit: Go do things that you enjoy, not things that some random internet sidebar told you to do. Think about wh…
/r/askMRP13/06/22 02:26 AM
2

Are those lifts around a 6 RPE? Based on those numbers, sounds like about 20% BF to me.
/r/askMRP30/05/22 04:28 AM
3

To take a quote out of NMMNG, instead of asking yourself "why does this always happen to me", ask yourself "what can I learn from this situation". You clearly give too many fucks. Being stuck in that mindset can keep you from getting anywhere for a very, very long time. Trust me.
/r/askMRP26/01/22 06:04 PM
2

This. Cut your losses now. Then when you're single start figuring out what you want your life to be, and start working on that. Any self improvement you do right now is just a covert contract. Except lifting, do that right now for yourself.
/r/askMRP19/01/22 06:49 PM
1

I enjoy a good love bombing after my morning protein shake.
/r/askMRP17/12/21 05:30 PM
2

Thank you, that's well said.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 11:58 PM
1

OYS 23 52 years old. 5’10”, 182 lbs, 19.5% BF. Lifts: BP=170 x 6, DL (trap bar)=315 x4 5, SQ 240 x 4 . M-14 years, kids 9, 9, 7. Career beta/nice guy. OYS Timeline Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. Behavioral I recently came across some interesting notes from u/ex_addict_bro which really hit home with me. It describes my current situation fairly well, and behavior I’m observing. The takeaw…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 04:33 PM
1

Because I want to be a kind and loving person toward those around me. That seemed to be the word that fit when I first wrote it.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/21 05:49 PM
3

These notes are very useful for my situation, thanks for sharing.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/21 04:54 PM
2

OYS 22 52 years old. 5’10”, 179 lbs, 17.7% BF. Lifts: BP=160 5x5, DL (trap bar)=305 5x5 5, SQ 225 5x . M-14 years, kids 9, 9, 7. Career beta/nice guy. OYS Timeline Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. Behavioral I took the family on an extended vacation to FL, just getting back a week ago. It was nice to get away, and everyone had fun, but the diet got off track more. Getting back into liftin…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/21 04:19 PM
1

Think of it as WISNIFG negative assertion, but with the twist of coming from a place of genuine appreciation (not merely a hollow technique to disarm a critic and protect yourself). That is, be actually vulnerable. This is a great point. I've struggled with some of the advice in WISNIFG, as it comes off like you're quoting what your therapist told you to say, without any real authenticity behind your words. Great post, and great follow-up from R&Rchuck.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/21 08:25 PM
3

These are great, thanks for taking the time to put this together. One thing to add, which probably applies best to the Buffering examples. Use "and" instead of "but". This is a common improv teaching strategy. Using the word "and" makes it feel like you are accepting the other person's position or feeling, and you are adding something to it to reflect what you want. Some people will shut down for feel disregarded if you throw in the word "but" after you acknowledge their position on a subject.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/21 05:56 PM
1

OYS 21 52 years old. 5’10”, 178 lbs, 16.3% BF. Lifts: BP=160 5x5, DL (trap bar)=305 5x5 5, SQ 225 5x . M-14 years, kids 9, 9, 6. Career beta/nice guy. OYS Timeline Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. There’s not too much to report for me but wanted to post anyway to not keep letting this slip. I was on vacation with the family and family friends over just over a week ago. Enjoyed the time wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/21 12:35 PM
0

OYS 20 51 years old. 5’10”, 175 lbs, 18.2% BF. Lifts: BP=175 x 3, DL (trap bar)=325 x 5, SQ 240 x 5. M-13 years, kids 9, 9, 6. Career beta/nice guy. OYS Timeline Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. I’m one of those people that have been around here way too long, reading too much, and progressing too little. I also struggle writing OYS posts in the traditional way, as I don’t recall the detai…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/21 01:04 PM
1

Thanks to both of you for the inspiration. I'm starting to put together mine. I think the walk through history will be very enlightening to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/21 07:48 PM
2

OYS – 3/09/2021 51 years old. 5’10”, 180 lbs, 18.8% BF. Lifts: BP=175 x 3, DL (trap bar)=325 x 5, SQ 240 x 5. M-13 years, kids 9, 9, 6. Career beta/nice guy. Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. I’m one of those people that have been around here way too long, reading too much, and progressing too little. I also struggle writing OYS posts in the traditional way, as I don’t recall the details o…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 12:37 PM
4

Wow, I had not read that JT post before, thanks for that. It fits very well where I'm at right now - in the midst of daily shitty comfort tests/meltdowns.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/21 07:39 PM
1

I think both are correct, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/21 02:05 PM
0

OYS – 2/16/2021 51 years old. 5’10”, 180 lbs, 18.3% BF. Lifts: BP=175 x 3, DL (trap bar)=325 x 5, SQ 240 x 5. M-13 years, kids 8, 8, 6. Career beta/nice guy. Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. I’m one of those people that have been around here way too long, reading too much, and progressing too little. I also struggle writing OYS posts in the traditional way, as I don’t recall the details o…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/21 12:36 PM
1

Yes, that is exactly right. I am stuck. These tests will go away for a bit, then pop up every 2-3 months, as she continues to check in and confirm I'm still a dancing monkey and full of shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/21 11:41 PM
2

OYS – 1/26/2021 51 years old. 5’10”, 182 lbs, 18.3% BF. Lifts: BP=175 x 3, DL (trap bar)=325 x 5, SQ 240 x 5. M-13 years, kids 8, 8, 6. Career beta/nice guy. Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. I’m one of those people that have been around here way too long, reading too much, and progressing too little. I also struggle writing OYS posts in the traditional way, as I don’t recall the details o…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/21 07:34 PM
3

OYS – 12/22/2020 51 years old. 5’10”, 178 lbs, 16.4% BF. Lifts: BP=175 x 3, DL (trap bar)=315 x 5, SQ 240 x 5. M-13 years, kids 8, 8, 6. Career beta/nice guy. Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. I’m one of those people that have been around here way too long, reading too much, and progressing too little. I also struggle writing OYS posts in the traditional way, as I don’t recall the details …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/20 12:44 PM
2

OYS – 12/08/2020** 51 years old. 5’10”, 175 lbs, 16.4% BF. Lifts: BP=175 x 3, DL (trap bar)=315 x 5, SQ 240 x 5. M-13 years, kids 8, 8, 6. Career beta/nice guy. Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. I’m one of those people that have been around here way too long, reading too much, and progressing too little. I also struggle writing OYS posts in the traditional way, as I don’t recall the detail…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/20 02:58 PM
3

OYS – 11/16/2020** 51 years old. 5’10”, 175 lbs, 16.4% BF (goal=15%). Lifts: BP=175 x 3, DL (trap bar)=315 x 5, SQ 240 x 5. M-13 years, kids 8, 8, 6. Career beta/nice guy. Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. I’m one of those people that have been around here way too long, reading too much, and progressing too little. I also struggle writing OYS posts in the traditional way, as I don’t recall…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/20 03:44 PM
2

Interesting. I remember these kind of tests. This is really interesting test that wives craft. They push so hard back against your advances (when you start doing well - especially physically) to check if you are congruent with your desire to fuck as a sexual man or if you're doing it for validation. I'm going through this right now. Well said.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 05:36 PM
10

I think you should ask her what she thinks you should do, and then do that. Maybe bring her flowers in case to help ensure she's not offended by the question.
/r/askMRP20/10/20 04:30 PM
1

Very solid advice, thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/20 07:33 PM
1

Some of the sidebar books have changed since I've started, but I've read all of the sidebar posts, plus: NMMNG MMSLP WISNIFG The Rational Male, Year 1 The Mindful Attraction Plan The Sixteen Commandments of Poon The Subtle Art of Not Giving an F The Book of Pook Models Saving a Low Sex Marriage The Testosterone Optimization Therapy Bible The Way of the Superior Man The 48 Laws of Power I mentioned above that I've read too much, and implemented too little. I need to fix that.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/20 05:16 PM
1

Do a better job at passing shit tests / not getting flooded. Increase my level of DNGAF. Get over fear of rejection, and embrace the discomfort. Do better at teasing/playfulness, without any expectations.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 08:41 PM
1

OYS – 10/13/2020 51 years old. 5’10”, 175 lbs, 17.5% BF (goal=15%). Lifts: BP=165 x 5, DL (trap bar)=315 x 5, SQ 235 x 5. M-13 years, kids 8, 8, 5. Career beta/nice guy. Mission - To become a benevolent, calm, fun, and effective leader that radiates positive energy and brings out the best in myself and others. Been thinking about how I journal and approach my progress since my live feedback on the OYS webcast. I’m one of those people that have been around here way too long, reading too much, and…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 05:18 PM
1

All of those things that you don't like seem like a lack of leadership on your part. And I say that speaking from personal experience. What are you bringing to the table? Would you be happier without her, or are you just going to find someone else just like her (or worse). As I have been told by multiple people in the last 2 weeks, that's taking the easy way out. Work on yourself for about 2 years, then re-evaluate.
/r/askMRP29/09/20 09:20 PM
2

The live review was outstanding, and it was very helpful get such solid, in-depth feedback from a great group of guys. Thanks again!
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/20 05:17 PM
1

Thank you, well said.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 03:07 PM
1

OYS – 9/22/2020 51 years old. 5’10”, 175 lbs, 17.5% BF. Lifts: BP=165 x 5, DL (trap bar)=305 x 5, SQ 225 x 5. M-13 years, kids 8, 8, 5. The Bad I’ve been way too tolerant regarding intolerant behavior directed towards me. Calling it out more than I used to, but I’m still I’m still enforcing any sort of real boundary, and absorbing way too much of the attacks on me. Also taking the behavior to personally, getting too butt-hurt and giving it more weight than it deserves. Been in my head a little t…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 12:58 PM
2

OYS – 9/1/2020 51 years old. 5’10”, 175 lbs, 18.0% BF. Lifts: BP=165 x 5, DL (trap bar)=305 x 5, SQ 225 x 5. The Bad I had a major loss of frame following an emotional tantrum directed towards me where I was asked to leave the family home. Calmly stated I was not going to be separated from the kids, and that she was not allowed to take the kids out of the house. In follow-up discussions later that day, I showed little frame and lack of any verbal assertiveness. Fell back into my nice guy routine…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 01:25 PM
5

How do baseboards become broken?
/r/askMRP26/01/20 02:34 PM
1

OYS – 1/7/2020 50 years old. 5’10”, 178 lbs, 18.6% BF. Lifts: BP=180, DL (trap bar)=335, OHP=110, not sure of SQ max. The Good TRT continues to go well, I seem to have the right dosage dialed in. Generally feeling good with minimal side effects. Started a new recomp diet (2500 cal), which seems to be doing well from a BF standpoint. Went from 20.3% BF to 18.6% from beginning of Nov to beginning of Dec. Follow-up inbody measurements next week. Arthritis in my shoulder seems to be at an all-time l…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/20 04:48 PM
9

BPP has some good stuff stuff, unfortunately it is buried lower down in the sidebar under the videos section. IMO his introductory videos and his book should be considered required 101 material.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/19 05:40 PM
2

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker is a pretty good read, and generally consistent with the teachings here.
/r/askMRP03/10/19 07:57 PM
1

Agreed. I think Manson writes some good stuff, even though it's not mentioned on here.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/19 04:53 PM
2

OYS – 10/1/2019 Thanks to HornsOfApathy for the kick in the butt to suck up my ego get posting on this again. Background: Career Beta, progressing very slow. After re-reading the sidebar on career beta, I do beleive I need to find my morpheus to help me out in my journey. 50 years old. 5’10”, 183 lbs, 19.1% BF. Lifts: BP=180, DL (trap bar)=335, not sure of SQ max. Married 12 years, kids 25, 7, 7, 5. The Good Have TRT dialed in better than original dosage at the beginning of year. Very slow but s…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/19 04:13 PM
5

Mine was "You suck at this" by W/S of course. It hurts to hear the truth sometimes.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/19 08:05 PM
33

Congrats on finding this place. Under "Community Info" you will find the sidebar and required readings. Start there, it will answer your questions. If you have more questions after that, read everything again.
/r/askMRP17/07/19 05:13 PM
1

Strong Fathers Strong Daughters. Not really RP, but the themes are generally consistent.
/r/askMRP04/06/19 11:37 AM
1

This. And gaming 5/15 days means you're still working on dread level 6.
/r/askMRP11/03/19 01:25 AM
1

Very good point, thank you. Finances are in good shape (Beta Bucks), my my leading is lacking in making fun plans, staying on top of the logistics for the kids, etc. I appreciate your comment about lack of MAP, that is completely accurate. I wrote one up very early on in my journey, but needs to be fine-tuned, and probably completely re-written.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/19 05:41 PM
2

Testosterone Replacement Therapy, aka Testosterone Optimization Therapy. Thanks for the feedback.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/19 05:38 PM
4

OYS – 2/18/2019 The Good Blood test came back (3 months after ended 2nd round of Clomid). Total T = 150, lowest reading I’ve had. Doc agreed to Test C injections, 200mg every two weeks. Currently 4 weeks in, and been feeling great. Energy way up, more focused at work, mood up a fair amount, libido up a bit (sporadically). Can’t speak to sexual performance, hard no’s consistently since prior to starting TRT (more on that below). Seeing improvements in the gym, most likely due to TRT, but possibly…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/19 07:34 PM
1

Before you do anything, check in with her to see if the family finances are in good enough shape to cover the cost. If not, you could probably negotiate sex as a repayment.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/01/19 01:52 AM
1

​ Just make damned sure it’s not libido lowering meds. Talk to her doc. Don’t assume. Verify. ​ This. Read up on SSRI's and more effective alternatives without the libido side effects.
/r/askMRP10/12/18 09:48 PM
1

Yes, I think my trainer wanted to try this to try to spur on additional muscle growth. I've currently been doing 2500 per day every day (220g protein). He wants me to try 2800 on lift days (4-5 per week), and 2150 on non-lift. For awhile was at 2200 every day. After that for a few months I lost some weight, but also lost some muscle mass. That's when he bumped up my target to 2500. What I struggle with in my head is given I'm at 22% BF, moving up from 2500 to 2800 five days a week.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/18 08:00 PM
2

What is he currently saying? You went on two clomid restarts, which both failed, what's the next step? Suffer? Good question, I'll find out in about a week. Keep documentation about the clomid trials so you don't get the same shit from another doc if you have to go somewhere else. Good advice, thanks. If I go to another doc, I'm definitely going to get copies of my full file.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/18 07:14 PM
2

Yes, he did the full bloodwork and discussed it with me before we started clomid. I did a half pill (25mg if I recall) daily for the first month, every other day for the second month, and every third day for the third month (then done). I agree that it wasn't unreasonable, and he explained that it might help kick start things so that I naturally produce more. My total T got up around 350, then back to 170 three months after stopping. The second round I got up to just over 400 at one point. I'm n…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/18 09:37 PM
2

This is helpful, thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/18 05:39 PM
1

Taking a different approach to my format to help with my journaling and posting more often. Posting every 6 months with broad grades and general comments isn’t really holding myself accountable for anything. Addressing a few things that are my focus at the moment. Frame – Been spending more time thinking about how the mood of others (i.e. wife) impacts my mood. I still get a general anxiety feeling when I know she’s in a mood. It was a very big slap in the face when she went from deeply depresse…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/18 05:13 PM
1

I do 3-4 sets of everything, increasing weights each time and decreasing reps (15-12-10). These numbers are my final set. Yes, my trainer has a strong focus on maintaining proper form over pushing the weight to their limit. I also have a history of lower back pain, thus I tend to be extra careful on the lifts where bad form can put strain on your lower back.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/18 05:19 PM
6

Good point, thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/18 09:14 PM
2

Good idea, thanks. Just to clarify, the days I drink it is usually 2-3 drinks (about 10 per week total). Nowhere near getting hammered.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/18 05:14 PM
1

Strength. Yes I agree, those are very poor numbers.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/18 05:13 PM
3

Trying to overcome the ego by posting a long overdue update. Still progressing very slow compared to others, but trying to focus on improving a little one day at a time. Quick backround: Been at it about 1.5 years, career beta, 49, 5’10”, 167 lbs, 21.5% BF. 3 Kids under 7, and an anxiety/depression/SSRI wife. Shit Tests – C-. Getting better at AA/AM for the little shit tests, but I still DEER way too often when she’s has these major meltdowns, often in the form of shitty comfort tests. Clearly a…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/18 04:50 PM
3

This is very well said. I too get the bury head in sand response. It's better to focus on being fun and awesome, and bringing her into that, and keep the dread very light and very indirect.
/r/askMRP15/11/18 12:31 AM
2

Good stuff, this is wiki worthy.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/18 09:41 PM
1

I get the "You're awfully quiet, is everything okay?" way too often. Internally: Thank you for pointing out that I'm an autistic f*ck that gets stuck in my head way too often, and not being as fun as I could be. Externally: I'm mentally preparing for the zombie apocalypse. How big of a bunker do you think we'd need?
/r/askMRP19/09/18 05:19 PM
4

Chad must have finally given her his house key.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/18 03:12 PM
2

Good stuff, nice progress, I like to hear posts like these. It takes time, the key is to keep improving a little every day. I'm 17 months in and not yet at a point where I could honestly write my "1 Year Later" transformation post like many others have. I've come a long way, but have even further to go. Maybe that post will come at the year 2 mark, or maybe year 3.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 08:37 PM
1

Athol Kay has a bunch of short Youtube videos on various topics. They're only 5-10 minutes each, but lots of good information. He just put out a multi-part series on a woman's anxiety, and how you should approach it. That really hit home with me.
/r/askMRP30/05/18 06:47 PM
1

Good stuff, I especially enjoyed the part about experiencing her emotions with her, and letting your own emotions roam. I have a tendency to focus on holding frame when her emotions run wild, and I come across very autistic. Clearly a function of overthinking things on my part.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/18 06:28 PM
1

IMO the active-positive approach would be appropriate for a one time rejection. I think more consistent hard no's over a longer period of time are worthy of removing time and attention. Removing time and attention after a single hard no (after some/many positive responses) feels a little butt-hurt to me. I think you need to be further along in your dread levels before using the active-negative approach. That sounds like it's approaching a FMOFY tone, which is way down the list.
/r/askMRP02/03/18 09:49 PM
1

Thanks, I had not seen that first link before.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 09:45 PM
1

Good stuff here, thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 07:51 PM
1

Been way too long since I’ve posted here, so wanted to kill my ego have at it again. Progressing very slow compared to others, but trying to focus on improving a little one day at a time. Quick backround: Been at it about a year, 48, 5’10”, 170 lbs, 22.5% BF. Shit Tests - D+. I know enough not to DEER, but tend to default to autistic and STFU too often, missing opportunities for me to show a stronger frame and AA/AM. As I mentioned in another post, my tendency is STFU and walk away (i.e. not rew…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 04:36 PM
2

Good discussion. I tend to get caught up in the thinking that if she's acting bitchy, I should just STFU and/or walk away (no reward shitty behavior). But I think I overdo that, and miss out on opportunities to hold frame and tease her/AM.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/18 08:37 PM
2

It's called the anger phase for a reason. It will pass. Do a search and you can find many posts on how to deal with it and think about it from the experts on here.
/r/askMRP15/12/17 03:57 PM
1

Take it as a learning experience, and thinking about how the veterans on here would have handled your situation. It's a very long journey, and you will fail many many times. Just try to be a little bit better than you were yesterday.
/r/askMRP20/11/17 08:57 PM
1

+1 for the War Games reference.
/r/askMRP19/11/17 02:01 PM
4

Good stuff, thanks. I would be interested in hearing your (or other's) thoughts on how they respond differently to shit tests vs. leadership failure bitchyness. Clearly not reacting/not DEERing is the right thing to do in both cases, but it seems like the normal shit test responses don't always fit when she's bitching because of a drunk captain.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/17 04:08 PM
2

That is helpful to think about, especially when the wife brings up a semi-legitimate issue/discussion topic, but in a bitchy and disrepectful tone. Along the same lines of advanced fogging techniques that jackten has posted about.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/17 03:50 PM
1

Thank you, very helpful tips.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/17 02:21 PM
1

5 Months in and I'm still really struggling. I feel like I'm stuck on the sidelines - reading all of the concepts, but failing to actually put them into practice. Not sure why that is so hard for me. I think I need to spend more time devoted to mindfulness activities during the day, and spend more time thinking through daily situations and how I've handled them (or didn't handle them). Shit tests - F. Recently started to get more of them, which I think is a good sign, but have been caught off gu…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/17 07:01 PM
2

This post comes to mind. I refer back to it often as a gut check that just me looking better and owning my shit better alone won't increase her desire (maybe for some women, but not in my case). https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/5ttgz3/married_game_if_youre_not_flirting_withgaming/
/r/askMRP03/07/17 08:14 PM
3

Seems like you handled it well. I don't see it as conflict aversion, I think you were showing how to be verbally assertive for what she wants. This feels like it's straight out of a WISNIFG script. In that book he talks about your own improvement in being more verbally assertive will help others be more assertive themselves, for the good of everyone.
/r/askMRP26/06/17 08:33 PM
2

Very well put, thank you.
/r/askMRP16/06/17 02:18 AM
1

Fair enough. Back to work....
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/17 03:29 PM
1

Rather than an update on all my current focus areas, I wanted to focus on my biggest struggle these days, game. As a brief background, 47, wife 41, 3 kids under 6, been at it 3 months. Lifting going good, reading coming along (somewhat slow), diet okay, still at dread ½. No sex since October, no affection from her at all. Wife is on SSRIs. We have a history going back 5+ years of whenever I initiated, not only would I get a hard no, I would get verbally attacked in my method, bad timing, or what…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/17 02:13 AM
1

Thanks man, much appreciated.
/r/askMRP17/05/17 11:55 PM
2

Good discussion, thank you. My wife is on an SSRI (celexa) for anxiety, and has absolutely no libido (we've had sex once in last 12+ months). I struggle sometimes and how much it is me and my need to improve vs. the side effects. For now I'm just lifting and reading and trying to be fun and flirty, going very slow, without too much pressure on sex. Still need to do a lot of work to be the Oak and not get sucked into her frame. Eventually I hope to get to a point in my journey to suggest an alter…
/r/askMRP17/05/17 08:47 PM
1

"Her being angry won't necessarily lead her to be less attracted to you." This is gold. I'm need to read this statement about 50 times daily.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/17 04:50 PM
1

Passing Shit Tests - D+. I don't feel like I've been tested as much the last week or two. I don't know if it's because I've been doing better and they've diminished, or just random change. Anyway, I still default to fogging, probably too often, as I don't feel like I have the frame yet to do AA/AM effectively. At a minimum I've done a somewhat decent job of not DEERing. Frame - F+. Trying hard to hold frame in tense moments, but I'm way too reactive to her mood and emotions. Need to continue to …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/17 05:29 PM
1

Very good stuff, thank you. Sometimes my head gets jumbled with all of the new material I'm taking in. I like the simplicity of having the mindset that I'm way out of her league. Nice and simple, and easy to keep that in my focus.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/17 08:52 PM
1

Wow, sounds very similar to my situation (I'm 2 months in, but still in early phases of Dread 1/2). I've received a similar email, and had the "trust" thing thrown at me several times, even though there isn't any one specific item I've done to "break her trust". Thanks Reddjive, that insight is very helpful.
/r/askMRP24/04/17 07:55 PM
1

I will get back into the routine of tracking (use to use Lose It app, have gotten off track), and keep it under 2000 Cals per day. I also will continue to cut back on drinking.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/17 03:51 PM
1

I'd be interested in hearing more about your dumbbell routine. I'm in a similar position at my employer's fitness center (few machines, DBs up to 50 lbs). Wanted to do some type of SL 5x5 using dumbbells, but still trying to figure out the most effective routine.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/17 03:44 PM
1

I'm too new to be giving advice, but I think most experts would say step 1 is to lift and start identifying and passing shit tests (aside from reading and internalizing).
/r/askMRP12/04/17 04:54 PM
1

I'm glad to hear this, as this is the approach that I think fits well for me. Only 1.5 months in, still doing pre-req reading. I don't really feel ready to starting bold actions until I've learned and internalized more of the material. I want to avoid a band-aid approach and built a solid foundation when I think I'm ready.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/17 05:50 PM
2

First OYS Post, a little over a month in, still working through books/sidebar, but figured it was time to post here to grade myself: Shit Tests: F. Failing miserably, and haven't dialed in on what responses (AM, AA, STFU) work in a given situation. Lots of work to do here. Need to start small and getting some small wins. Frame: F. Still reading/learning about this. Suffice it to say I'm not holding frame when things go sour, and entering her frame way to much, and still being way to reactive to …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/17 04:56 PM
2

I will develop a more efficient, better organized workout routine. I'm currently doing well at 4x - 5x per week, but limited on the machines/equipment at my employer's fitness room. They do have a large selection of dumbells. I need to come up with some good workouts and a healthy rotation that makes the most of those.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/17 11:18 PM
2

Thanks for the tip. I've started reading MMSLP along with the sidebar/wiki first. I think I'll put MMSLP on hold and start NMMNG. Guidance on the order is very helpful to me. Lots of material to absorb, and I want to make sure i don't get ahead of myself.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 04:14 PM
1

Any advice on how much to trim the stomach/chest? I don't want to go too far and have it be stubby, but I'm definitely due for some trimming there.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/17 05:44 PM
1

She had a pretty crazy upbringing (alcoholic parents, now divorced), but no abuse. Clearly she needs me to be the rock and captain, as others have said, and this need has intensified since kids. I have been failing up until now. Lots of work to do on my end, but I'm feeling optimistic. Thanks again for all the feedback.
/r/askMRP09/03/17 05:04 PM
1

Thanks for this, very inspiring for me, as it's very relatable.
/r/askMRP08/03/17 11:24 PM
1

Well said, thank you.
/r/askMRP08/03/17 10:11 PM
1

No troll, just an honest new guy learning the ropes. I will read some of the posts from guys with similar stories. Thanks.
/r/askMRP08/03/17 10:09 PM
1

Will do, thanks. Still have lots of basic reading to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/17 11:24 PM
1

I struggle in this area a lot. My wife gets tons of anxiety whenever i try to touch her, and it comes out in a very mean and accusatorial way. I'm not sure how to best hold frame and bring her into my frame in those moments. Ignoring it, or downplaying it doesn't feel like the right approach. I need to get better at letter her know I'm in charge, and that she can trust me. Easier said than done...
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/17 10:44 PM
2

Brand new at this, so still trying to take everything in, but thought I'd throw out some goals for the week. Found this site mid last week, so not worth revisiting last week too much. Keep reading, every day. Lots of material to absorb, and I want to learn as much as possible as fast as possible. Keep exercising/lifting. Off to a good start last week, keep at it. Try to identify and handle shit tests, and address disrespect calmly but firmly. This is going to be the biggest struggle for me, as I…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/17 09:59 PM
1

"Everything you just wrote is really hurtful. Good job...." That's solid. Can I use that?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/17 05:42 PM
2

Thanks for sharing, it's encouraging to hear that things can turn around in such a short period of time. Just found this site. Right now I'm at ground zero, full-on beta, no frame, failing every shit test. All of the readings and terms have me a bit overwhelmed, but reading these stories makes me optimistic that I can do it.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/17 04:47 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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