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View 2 posts and 507 comments by capnjackstation on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
33

capnjackstation/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 06:34 PM
11

Courtcapnjackstation/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:02 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

I can relate to feeling like Theon in the marriage, it so much better having freedom again. Your watch has ended. I knight you Sir Reek of Pussy. May you flay all your conquests as they spread before you, and may your sword find its sheath.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 12:17 PM
3

Upside is short marriage and it sounds like no kids so little to no alimony, no child support and no sharing kids with a narcissist for 18 years. Let her go back to the streets. You deserve better and you’re still young with your whole life ahead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 02:54 PM
2

Probably not, but it’s time for him to see her for who she really is and not the mask she wore for him. Going through it blind isn’t doing him any favors. 100% there is another man.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 02:51 PM
8

Agreed. The “I love you but I’m not in love with you” line is a classic tell.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 02:42 PM
2

They are true.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 11:34 PM
1

The quote “when you’re going through hell, keep going” got me through all of this for the past 5 years. I’ve been through hell and lost damn near everything along the way. I swear to you it gets better. Losing everything can be freeing. And he 👆🏻is right. The only way out is through. You will be stronger at the end even if a little scarred. She isn’t worth it, trust me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 11:33 PM
4

Your kids are the most important thing here. Do not accept less than 50/50 joint custody. That’s your hill to die on. You can never get the time back with your kids. Do not accept less than 50% custody.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 12:31 PM
5

One thing lawyers will definitely do is fill her head with the absolute best case scenario for her to appeal to her greed so they can create drama and milk more billable hours. They can ask for fees doesn’t mean the judge will award them. You need a lawyer unfortunately too. It’s better if you can present a deal you can live with without falling on your sword to get this over as quickly as possible that’s best case scenario. Make your best offer to settle it and be done. If they don’t accept it …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 12:16 PM
6

They all seem to have GPS these days. Take the holes away and what are they actually bringing to the table?
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 06:06 AM
4

Second what he said. Absolutely DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE. Let her move out. She’ll have all the leverage with the kids then.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 06:00 AM
5

Woof. Lifetime alimony. Fuck that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 05:59 AM
11

If the house is in your parents name / trust she can pound sand. She’s not getting it. Her lawyers are taking her for a ride. She’s delusional.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 05:54 AM
1

Only the contributions to your retirement that occurred during the 5 years of marriage would be on the table. They create a spreadsheet of assets and liabilities that occurred during the marriage and split it up 50/50, possibly more if there is marital misconduct. If she has retirement that’s on the table too. Everything is negotiable at this point. Alimony would only be for half the length of the marriage if it’s awarded so at best you’d get it for 2.5 years. Sounds like she is having an affair…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 03:52 PM
1

No. Although that is an option that can be pursued. If you can prove she had an affair she isn’t entitled to alimony. If she makes more (ie she’s the greater earner) they have to award you alimony. Also, I received a greater portion of the assets due to the situation. I’m directly speaking from experience.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 08:29 PM
2

In NC it absolutely changes things like if she had an affair she doesn’t get alimony and it can affect equitable distribution.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:42 PM
2

Engineer. Can’t say which kind too specific
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 03:45 PM
1

Yeah the silence in the house is deafening. Force yourself to go out on your non custody time. Meet people. Get out of your comfort zone. Get laid. Take up golf. Make some male friends. Most of us lose ourselves being a husband and dad. Once you make new friends and a life for yourself don’t give it up for any woman again.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 04:39 PM
12

I say this from experience. When she says “no” you’re going to go back to day zero. It’s been 2 years and she’s bringing the papers to sign. In her mind she is done and the papers and stuff is a formality to finalize it. I say this not to be a jerk but to save you regressing my man. She has to be the one to propose reconciliation for you to even consider it. I also say this from experience there are plenty of women out there. Many better than her. Nostalgia isn’t your friend.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 12:11 PM
2

Heard verbatim the same thing. Yet, she was sleeping with the guy she just hired and left for him and he left his wife for her. So much for I don’t want or need anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 01:06 AM
1

Which sub?
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 07:43 PM
6

You’re not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 01:47 PM
1

Yeah, she would get the shakes when we tried to stop. Me nothing. I wasn’t the drinker. Of course she told everyone different because reality and women are something different.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 03:09 AM
6

Sounds like you’re winning. Goodbye to the dead weight. Single at 40 is going to be a very different experience for you vs her. Her best days are behind her. Your best days are ahead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 01:05 PM
2

This right here.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 09:50 PM
2

It helped me immensely too. I do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 01:09 PM
1

🥹
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 08:32 AM
1

Dude didn’t think my wife had it in her either. Read my post history. She has someone else and he didn’t leave his wife yet.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 08:30 AM
1

Because she’s in affair fog.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 08:27 AM
1

Teachers are one of the professions with the highest rates of cheating. She might be exactly where she’s supposed to be getting her back blown out by another teacher or someone’s dad. Dude your marriage is over. Let her think you’re gonna be her sucker for a year, get a lawyer and beat her to the punch. She’s just setting herself up to juice you for more. I’m sorry to sound harsh but that’s the reality and the sooner you realize it the better you can protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 08:24 AM
1

You don’t have a choice. She’s just getting her ducks in a row so she makes out better at your expense. Also, she has someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 08:19 AM
2

There’s only one parachute in every relationship. Take it and jump
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 08:16 AM
7

NC, go ahead and take the affair partner down while you’re at it for Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 06:54 AM
2

The judge ordered our social security earning statements. That painted a clear picture of who earned what over the years. Just a tip that might help.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 03:58 PM
6

Already involved with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 05:12 PM
4

Bingo!
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 05:11 PM
1

There is only one parachute in every relationship. You took it and jumped first. Of course that’s going to make her feel sad at first. Don’t worry the anger and combativeness will come soon and you’ll realize you made the right choice. Better to get it over with quickly if it’s not worth saving so you both can move on.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 04:57 PM
1

Yep. Pretty thorough explanation. Thanks for sharing this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 04:46 AM
3

I’d rather be alone than put up with someone talking to me like that ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 02:19 PM
3

Yeah she’s cheating and devaluing you to justify her behavior. Been there. Get a lawyer and file first.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 02:14 PM
2

My immediate thought as well.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 02:09 PM
2

Also forgot to add L-Arginine and Citruline worked well for me before I got the Viagra script because I was wary of taking drugs. Took about two weeks of taking it to see a difference.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 08:04 PM
2

Week on, week off is the way to go in my opinion. It gave the most stability for my kids and is easier to keep track of. It’s fair. My ex said the same about not wanting to be away from the kids that long. I told her maybe she should have thought about that before having her affair. 🤷🏻‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 06:41 PM
7

Yes, experienced the same after I found out about my ex wife’s affair. I think it’s normal. It destroyed my self confidence and I would get “mind movies” of her and him. The things that helped were time, Viagra, and being with someone long enough to feel safe and desired with them. I probably should have done EMDR because I obviously had a bunch of trauma surrounding it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 06:20 PM
1

Even if he did all the things on her list it would just turn into “too little, too late”. Waste of time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 06:00 PM
1

Mine never apologized ever. Unless you call “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you’re upset” legit apologies.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 05:58 PM
2

Just to add, my wife tried pulling this BS, it was just a stalling tactic to get her ducks in a row before leaving and until she knew her affair partner was going to leave his wife. During that stalling period she tried to cash out the equity on our house so she could pay off her debt before leaving. One of her conditions was I needed to sign off on the refi for her to even consider fixing things. Uhm, no, I wasn’t born yesterday. Don’t waste your time it’s all manipulation to put her in a bette…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 05:46 PM
6

You’d have an easier time finding a real life unicorn that farts rainbows and glitter.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 10:54 PM
11

That called the Pick Me Dance. Don’t bother it’s a moving goalpost. A waste of time and puts all the blame on you. It won’t change her mind anyway. Do a 180° and flip the script on her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 10:50 PM
2

This will add to the amount of alimony when she decides to file eventually, and she will. Gotta get that bag queen! Get it over sooner rather than later. The longer it takes the more it’s going to cost.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 05:09 PM
2

Nothing helps getting over someone quicker than getting under someone. Just don’t get attached for a while, you’ll attract other train wrecks too. It’s normal. Like attracts like so keep it casual.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 04:08 PM
16

If you’re all friendly it absolves their guilt and their public image “See we’re all friendly so we couldn’t be the pieces of shit everyone thinks we are”. Screw that. Let silence be your answer and maybe you’ll be in her head. Nothing drives a woman more nuts than silence. Shaking his hand would be a simp move. Let him sit with what he did. That’s my two cents.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 03:12 AM
2

Amen
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 04:01 PM
2

Even worse. Dude bail. The longer you wait the more expensive it will be.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 04:47 AM
8

Strictly for recreational use only. Or learn the hard way. A lot of them just want some other sucker to pick up providing resources. There’s a reason so many people give this advice.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 04:23 AM
13

I hate to say it but “I love you but I’m not in love with you” 9 times out of 10 means there’s someone else. Don’t be plan B. Stop doing the pick me dance. Keep your dignity in tact. Sorry man. Been there. It gets better but it gets worse first. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 04:20 AM
1

That feeling is the pendulum righting itself to find balance again. I swung very much in that direction at first too. In fact I don’t think for me it’s swung to balance yet. Seeing my exes actions, and her sacrificing the kids happiness for her own along with reading things like the Rational Male probably opened my eyes to things a bit too much to unsee totally. It’s a process and it’s going to take a while. The main thing is to protect your kids well being as much as you can. Absolutely get the…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 04:13 AM
2

They’re not. Kids see more than their moms give them credit for. As her cheating cackle crew friends would tell her “kids are resilient and will adjust” I just think to myself that’s something people say because they’re not invested and want to change the awkward conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 03:41 AM
1

I’m still dealing with this with my kids, especially my son. He’s been absolutely crushed by this and it’s been 4 years. I can never forgive what her actions did to alter the path of my kids lives. She robbed them of what was a well adjusted life for some strange. 🤷🏻‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 03:39 AM
4

Much younger will piss her off too. First one out the gate for me was an ex model 13 years younger than her. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 01:22 PM
7

Should smash anyway for revenge. Let your ex find out through her work. There’s nothing like her having a face and name to put to it instead of a nebulous he might be dating someone now thought.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 05:54 PM
4

Word.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 11:13 PM
3

Pistols at dawn. Ah, the good old days.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 06:20 PM
3

Like they say “get that bag”
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 08:09 PM
3

I let go of the Switzerland friends
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 04:56 PM
6

Same situation here. She wanted to be equal, I made her more than equal. Think she was surprisingly abusive during the divorce? She’s even worse now that she lost.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 08:32 AM
4

My lawyer barely fought and didn’t seem prepared at all. I feel like I had to drag them to court. She was the higher earner. But there were other particularly nasty factors too that I think played into her losing as bad as she did, without getting into specifics publicly. In short she was vindictive, sneaky, got caught lying on the stand and was also trying to hide assets. I’m sure bringing her affair partner to court didn’t help either.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 12:43 AM
4

~$40k for me over 3.5 years. I think she paid at least $120k. She switched lawyers after the first year to hire the lawyer known for dirty tricks. Sucks for her. I got 70/30 asset split in my favor, 50/50 custody, back child support and alimony plus a hefty child support check each month, that’s probably going up soon. Suck it #bossbitch Oh, and my lawyer sucked and tried to get me to take a crappy deal. I fought for everything I was entitled to and won. That’s how bad ex’s case was.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 11:40 PM
2

“We need” is a triggering phrase for me. Shudder. 8 year sentence left.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 05:25 AM
2

This is word for word my life. I hate living here too and never should have moved for her job.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 01:07 AM
3

Ditto. Lawyer up. I got 70/30 split assets in my favor, child support from her and 50/50 custody. Get that bag king 👑. If she’s in a rush for you to sign it isn’t in your favor to do so. That may also be a sign of affair fog. If it is now’s the time to get a favorable deal for you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 01:00 AM
6

It’s a struggle. I lean into my personal time when I don’t have my kids and go visit family and friends and I have a decent sex life to distract. But yeah, I feel like I’m in limbo until my kids are on their own. You’re doing all the right things, I guess be the best dad you can be when with your kids and know that this feeling will come and go. I’m looking for answers to the same things you are so I hope others who have been doing it longer chime in. I would love to hear that when it’s over my …
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 01:22 PM
3

I took up golf too, it helps and gives me quality man time with my male friends
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 01:09 PM
2

If she’s in the affair fog try to use that to your advantage and negotiate a deal that you can live with and get it signed ASAP. It’s going to suck but she probably wants out asap because of the affair. Don’t let her know you know about it until after it’s all done or her mask will come off and she’ll be determined to destroy you. I made that mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 12:54 PM
11

Dude, I could have written this. Invisible leash is a good way to put it. I’m struggling with the exact same post divorce situation. I moved here for my wife’s job. I want to be a part of my kids lives that’s why I stay here. I would be much happier moving back where my friends and family are. I have a life waiting for me there but my kids are here. Her affair lasted and soon they’ll be living together with my kids, so it’s natural that sometimes I feel replaced. Makes me want to just go live my…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 12:45 PM
2

Probably not for a 2 year marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 12:29 PM
2

I meant cancer she doesn’t have is an excuse. It is a risky adventure thing moving to a different state for somebody. It was a leap of faith. I did the same thing for my wife. But I have kids so now I’m stuck here until they’re old enough to be on their own. Be glad you didn’t have kids with her as that really complicates things. If I hadn’t had kids I would have put her and this state in my rear view years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 12:25 PM
1

You tried to save your family and spare your kids a broken home. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s honorable. I made the same mistakes. Just don’t take her back again and realize she just came back to cash out.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 10:57 AM
3

Sounds like she didn’t have her ducks in a row and came back to get them in a row.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 10:53 AM
2

Carolinas also. Once separated you both can sleep with whoever you want. One of you already has started.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 10:14 AM
2

That’s an excuse.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 10:12 AM
2

Same. FYI, alienation of affection is a thing here.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 10:10 AM
3

Personal experience and almost 4 years of watching the same stories or variations of them play out over and over and over again. Women don’t leave without a plan for their next chapter. That next chapter is almost always another guy, coworker, trainer, etc… Most likely the “friend” she is staying with. If it’s not a specific guy it’s fear of missing out and wanting to ride the carousel. I’d say greater than 80% of these stories end up being her leaving for more time with a new suitor. Does she g…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 10:04 AM
16

She might be on team girl. If you’re not feeling it talk to a different lawyer. You want someone who is going to fight for you and push this along quickly. Not drain you with fees into submission. Lawyers will drain and drain hoping to drag it out out of court until the weaker party submits. They don’t actually want to go to trial.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 05:59 PM
10

I’m not trying to be harsh, just give you a reality check. I’ve been on this forum for years and it almost always plays out the same way. She’s banging someone else, the cancer is an excuse. Be glad it happened this early and before you had kids. Don’t fall on your sword, she’s not going to get alimony this early on. The dog is a dog, not a kid. Either take it with you and leave or give it to her and leave. File and push this forward. The sooner you’re out the sooner you can get over her. Your m…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 10:58 AM
5

Take her up on it and move the divorce forward quickly while she’s still in her obvious affair fog. Not having to fight for the kids is a gift. You can always go after her for child support if needed as that’s based on / awarded by what’s best for the kids. Doubtful she’ll get to keep the house as she’s not parenting, so it will probably either be awarded to you or sold and split 50/50. She’s handing you a gift, just be aware she’ll probably move in whoever she is banging while it plays out. Rea…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 10:38 AM
3

Not always. I have 50/50 and my wife pays child support because of her income.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 08:25 PM
2

You just described Walk Away Wife Syndrome as described here. https://youtu.be/eyty0xb7IMM Btw this didn’t save my marriage. It was too late 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 11:43 AM
2

Ok, you’re not hitting the gym hard enough. 😉
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 01:12 AM
4

70% , 50/50 custody, got alimony and child support from her. I fought and went through hell for years but never gave up. Never fall on your sword.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 12:56 PM
-1

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 11:12 PM
1

Lol
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 11:11 PM
2

Yeah, it’s become clear to me attempting to coparent with that nasty beyotch is impossible. 50/50 equal custody. Parallel parenting it is.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 11:06 PM
13

You’re the homemaker. She’s the breadwinner. Do not fall on your sword. Lawyer up, file, take her for 50/50 minimum custody, alimony, child support and half of the assets (including all rental properties). Just like any woman would do if the roles were reversed. She’s absolutely cheating on you. Keep a voice activated recorder on you at all times while interacting with her so she doesn’t pull the silver bullet method on you. You just found the golden goose if you keep your head about you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 05:26 PM
2

Be ready for the crazy option. Keep a voice activated recorder on you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 01:57 PM
3

Wow! She’s messed up. Lawyer up and eject. There’s nothing to save here other than yourself and your kids. Updateme
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 01:51 PM
11

Sorry to hear this but it sounds like the AP did you a solid. Put the evidence some place safe until you can come up with a plan with a lawyer. You absolutely need to divorce her, she won’t change. Don’t let on you know anything to her and keep collecting evidence. Find out if affairs have an effect on asset splits in your state. Good luck. Welcome to the club nobody wants to be in.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 01:47 PM
1

Absolutely alimony too. You’re entitled to it and you’ll be glad you did down the line. Do not fall on your sword for some bullshit gender roles. Guaranteed she will call you a deadbeat either way, might as well make her pay for the privilege. She can always buy the alimony out at a discount.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 02:22 PM
2

Get the alimony too. She would if the roles were reversed. Get nothing less than everything you are entitled to.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 02:19 PM
2

Yes. Including 401k and any other money she is hiding. Don’t think she’s not capable of hiding money. I didn’t think mine was until I discovered the LLC she was funneling funds into.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 02:17 PM
1

Yes it’s fucked up thinking. She wouldn’t be divorcing you if she respected you. Her opinion of you should mean nothing anymore. They’ll always say you were 100% wrong and make you out as a deadbeat to anyone else anyway. It not about what she thinks anymore it’s about what’s best for the kids. Them seeing Dad struggling for eternity because he made wrong emotional choices when hurting isn’t going to help them. Get half of everything. Everything! Secure a safe future for you and the kids. Again …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 02:13 PM
3

You can always go for child support later even if you agree not to now, it about what’s best for the kids. She makes more than you. She will be paying it. You’re also entitled to Alimony and half the retirement. Get it. She would do it to you if you were the higher earner. Don’t listen to what she says. She’ll try to make you not feel like a man and a deadbeat just to keep her retirement and not pay child support and alimony. She is your biggest enemy now. Treat this like a business transaction …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 02:04 PM
3

Get your T levels checked and a script for Viagra. Get back in the gym, it will boost your T, act as an anti-depressant and make you horny again. Also, therapy. This is very common.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 01:52 PM
11

Once divorce is mentioned she’s done. She’s just getting her ducks in a row to leave you at the worst possible moment. Trust your gut about the cheating. That feeling is there for a reason. My ex was all lovey dovey too until she left for the coworker. She was just getting her ducks in a row to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 01:39 PM
2

She won’t think she lost something anytime soon. She’s not capable of accountability or self reflection. In her mind you were 100% the problem. When she’ll regret it years down the line after riding the carousel with every guy in town and not having any of them commit to her. After she is post wall and her looks fade that’s when she’ll regret it. Don’t worry she’ll have all her other divorced post wall cat enthusiast friends to commiserate with as they wear yoga pants they shouldn’t be wearing f…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 01:30 PM
1

Dude, women don’t walk away from everything unless they are in the Affair Fog. Get the divorce finalized while she is still in it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 11:40 AM
14

Prepare for the attorney to drag things out to get more of your windfall when they hear about it. I’d get the divorce over ASAP while she is in the affair fog. Tell her the day the divorce is final. As someone said above womp womp bitch You said she’s walking away from everything. You hit the divorce jackpot. Then celebrate by following the wisdom of Lawrence in Office Space… two chicks at the same time. I’m pretty sure a guy with that kind of money could hook something like that up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 11:20 AM
6

My guess is Prince Charming doesn’t want to play step dad. Good be there for your kids, you won’t regret it in the long run. As for her I predict it burns out quickly and he dumps her and she realizes what a huge mistake she made. Don’t take her back ever. Never be anyone’s plan B
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 06:11 AM
21

Knock knock. Who’s there? Consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 10:50 PM
5

My ex actually used getting them up and making lunches in court 🙄 FFS it takes me 5 minutes to pack lunches for my kids in the morning.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 05:18 PM
1

Hypergamy
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 07:50 PM
3

CPS reports are anonymous. Worry about your kids first. They’re the priority. Investigations stay open 60 days. That’s 60 days of clean house for the kids if she wants to continue being their mom. Sounds harsh but she’d do the same to you without a second thought.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 07:35 PM
14

Deal with it by filing a report to CPS. Kids shouldn’t have to live in filth.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 07:32 PM
2

He shouldn’t concentrate on showing her anything but the door. He caught her talking to somebody else. That’s on her. Doing things for her to see is the Pick Me dance and how you get stuck. Agreed he needs to do things for himself.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 03:17 AM
5

You definitely want your name off of it. She’s your worst enemy. DO NOT trust her to keep her word to pay it while you’re still on the mortgage. A judge can make an order that says she’s financially responsible for the mortgage, taxes, insurance and failing her doing that it forces the sale, but I think it’s rare to do that - plus you’d have to take her back to court for contempt. So either push for refi or push for court ordered sale.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 11:56 PM
1

Lawyers are only good at making money disappear haha
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 10:47 AM
2

Dude, this is gonna be rough but it’s meant with your best interest in mind…you’re giving her the best of both worlds. She gets her back blown out while you’re watching the kids and doing husband and father duties. Cut that shit out. Don’t make her life easier. Minimal contact is the way to heal (with kids impossible to go no contact). Seeing her every day is NEVER going to help you heal. Her being a single mom should be difficult not made easier by you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 08:54 PM
2

I have a whole life waiting for me somewhere else, but my kids are here. 🤷🏻‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 08:48 PM
2

Yes. If I move away she gets full custody. If I stay she pays ME child support. The support helps, but it’s not enough. Not exactly high paying jobs in this town except for her industry, which isn’t my industry.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 08:43 PM
3

I’m in my 50s. My two kids are 3 years apart. The oldest is 12. So if I keep this up I have 9 more years living in a town I don’t want to live in. I will never marry again. No way I’d go through this twice.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 08:37 PM
4

Hang in there you’re not alone in feeling that way. I actually relocated here for my ex’s career. She upgraded her job and then decided to upgrade to a coworker. Her family and friends are all here, mine are hundreds of miles away. I have the kids 50/50. The only reason I’m here is because we divorced in this state and I want to be a part of my kids life. I wouldn’t live here otherwise, too small and the jobs here suck. I definitely feel like I’m in limbo and she gets to live her best life with …
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 07:23 PM
1

I didn’t know iPhone posted the contact name either. She’s in mine as “Cheating Whore” 😂 oops!
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 12:26 AM
6

I’d say > 80% of the time if there’s not a history of abuse there is a monkey branch going on.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 05:05 PM
7

Agreed. I had her best years. The affair partner gets the scraps and wrecked body after two kids. He might even get to be the hated step dad. Don’t care. My life is better now and there are plenty of younger and hotter women lined up, the ones who haven’t hit the wall. Her story ends alone with regret.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 05:00 PM
2

You have as much right to your child as your wife does.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 04:56 PM
1

Voice activated digital recorders the size of a thumb drive are cheap on Amazon. Get a few and have one on you at all times.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 04:53 PM
2

Voice activated recorder on you at all times to battle the upcoming false accusations. Yeah, yeah, she would never do that. That’s what I told myself too. Then she tried it and those recordings saved my bacon.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 04:49 PM
4

This sums it up perfectly.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 12:32 PM
4

I believe on most of those apps you can block by phone number so you don’t have to see that crap.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 02:36 PM
8

She wants something from you. That was my experience with my cheater. Total beeyatch unless she wanted something. Then she turned on the sweet. She wanted me to take a crap deal in the divorce. Nope.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 08:43 PM
3

Take it to trial. My attorney wanted me to take a bad deal too. I made out way better than I could have imagined in court. Even if it doesn’t make it to trial a looming trial date has a way of making spouses want to cut a better deal.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 11:55 AM
9

I’m a little jaded but let me ask you this…Would you jump out of a plane knowing your parachute will fail 50% of the time? At worst do a commitment ceremony in a non common law state and keep the government out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 02:58 PM
2

Some of those smart kids watches also allow the parent to listen in. Just an FYI.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 01:18 PM
1

It all worked out! See my update above.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 04:25 PM
1

UPDATE! The judge ruled overwhelmingly in my favor. 50/50 custody. Greater than 50% of the assets. She pays me child support and alimony. Victory!
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 01:39 PM
1

Same exact experience here
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 04:30 PM
4

74 lbs, 40 of that in the first two weeks with the rest coming off within another month or so. 229lbs total if you count her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 04:24 PM
4

Nothing you did for in the past matters. She only sees what you can do for her in this moment. She’ll dangle the promise of future rewards for what she wants you to give her now. If you don’t then Chad will. It sucks but that’s how it works. My eyes have been opened. Once you see it you can’t unsee.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 04:30 AM
2

Nothing. Apparently the judge can take a few weeks to make a decision.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 07:47 PM
8

I experienced this. I spent almost two decades cultivating those relationships and they just automatically took her side. I think it’s messed up, and certainly hurts my kids, but I think it’s common. In my case her family was a bunch of toxic, dysfunctional, narcissistic vampires so once I got over the initial shock I realized they’re not my problem anymore and I’m better without them. Same with her toxic friends. Just be careful of them alienating your kids from you. Which I’ve also experienced…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 11:52 AM
5

School therapists are LCSWs just like any other therapist you’d take your kid to but they’re provided free as part of the school. It couldn’t hurt to start there. Just make sure your ex doesn’t set the narrative with that school therapist first. Speaking from experience here.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 11:46 AM
2

Devastating day. Listening to hours of DARVO and mudslinging from ex and her attorney was extremely draining. Her side was basically trying to paint the absolute worst picture of me. I kept the high road because I did nothing wrong and had nothing to hide. I faced down my fear and it was terrible. But I survived and respect myself more for enduring that. Hopefully that works in my favor. It’s out of my hands now. Super drained. More updates when I know more. Thanks for the support my brothers. I…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 06:09 AM
1

Wish me luck brothers, about to head into court. Stoic is the name of the game today. I’ve done nothing wrong so I’m going to hope the judge sees this for what it is despite how she will spin it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 11:14 AM
3

My kids love us both. I make the most of my 50% of time with them that I can. They want to see us both equally I have no problem with that. I think we’ll all be happier though without this hanging over our heads and being finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 04:09 AM
2

Yeah I had the kids full time during the day and worked nights on top of that. Many years with little to no sleep so she could advance her education and career.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 02:40 AM
3

Guaranteed I’ll update however it goes tomorrow. I’ll either be ecstatic or devastated. I have to accept that it’s out my hands at this point and know that I fought for my kids and what I deserve. Whatever happens I’ll know I did my best.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 02:38 AM
9

You’re right. Taking a breath. Judges don’t care about the drama. Just cut the assets in half and be done. Status quo has been 50/50 for years. I’m the good guy in this story. Just worried about my kids. Because she has been trying to take them away and use them as pawns. Stoic and unemotional tomorrow is the name of the game. Thanks for talking me down brothers.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 02:23 AM
2

It can effect asset division from what I’ve read but I’m not counting on that. But she admitted to the affair in discovery so in this state the judge has to award alimony if she was the higher income, which she was.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 02:21 AM
1

It affects alimony and asset division here.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 01:58 AM
1

North Carolina
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:50 AM
1

The only hearing we had so far was post separation support. They didn’t get into the facts of the case then, just looked at the incoming and outgoing.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:39 AM
1

There was has been no custody order yet. Just a verbal 50/50 we’ve been doing while waiting to get in front of a judge. The other side delayed every time the day before for every court date we had set.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:35 AM
1

No I supplied evidence. None of it is in the evidence notes for tomorrow. My lawyer didn’t supply me what we were submitting until late this afternoon. I seriously think she expected the case to settle out of court and didn’t prep for trial.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:31 AM
1

Nobody I listed as witnesses were deposed. So I have no witnesses being called on my side. None of the evidence I supplied is in the trial notebook other than financials. I had audio, texts, photos. None of it is being submitted from what I saw in the trial notes.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:26 AM
1

My lawyer never deposed anybody. I gave a list of people who knew the facts.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:19 AM
2

Trial. The other side has been continuing and delaying for years.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:13 AM
2

Equitable distribution. Alimony. Child support. Custody. The whole enchilada. It’s a complicated case and everything is on the line and we have to do it in one day only. There is a lot of money and my kids future at stake and I feel like my lawyer has really dropped the ball.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:11 AM
16

I made the coffee fresh in the morning not the night before. What an inconsiderate and incompetent abusive a**hole I was. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 07:12 PM
5

No she is strong independent woman #bossbitch. I think it was more about attention and control. She learned early in childhood that her having an emergency shifts everyone’s attention solely to her and away from the issues at hand that she’s not getting her way with.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:48 PM
3

Her spending always grew past her income. I paid down her credit card debt only to find she ran up nearly 100k in credit card debt after with cards I never knew about. Of course she wants me to take half of that debt. Multiple Amazon boxes every day. Too lazy to cook. Having to do every fad diet with her. Her family of narcissists sucking the life out of me. Clothes strewn about the floor in every room she walked in. Hypochondria. Every time she has a headache we needed to spend the night at the…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:04 PM
3

Yeah, they seem to not get that life isn’t a series of back to back happy days from birth until death. Let her become the lonely cat 🐈‍⬛ enthusiast she was destined to be.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 03:16 PM
3

Yeah, it’s this. “See we’re still able to be friends”. She wants to absolve herself of all the shit she did to you so even the kids think she isn’t as bad. Plus she probably wants to have you do husband things she can’t do herself. Win/win for her. No upside for you. Keep away.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 03:13 PM
1

38-44 seems to be the golden window for them to pull this crap.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 01:44 PM
1

If she tells you she will be fine without child support don’t believe it. She can tell you anything she wants and then file for child support later, and she will. Get that amount nailed down first.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 01:42 PM
2

👆🏻This. Let her find out you are divorcing her when she gets served. Don’t even hint at it. If she tries to have sex with you you have a stomach ache or aren’t feeling well. Act quick and get out.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 01:40 PM
4

If you’ve forgiven an incident already and he is acting this way still you’re showing him you will tolerate this behavior. There’s nothing to save here. He needs some deep work and it doesn’t sound like he is willing to do it right now. Don’t get dragged through it too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 01:20 PM
2

He’s in an affair. The coke isn’t great either. Cut your losses.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 01:16 PM
1

Women can turn on a dime. Anyone in this forum will tell you that. If you want to leave her something fine. Set your kid up for success though. Once you’re gone she will move on. Your child is your blood.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 01:13 PM
1

👆🏻Very much all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 12:39 PM
2

I missed her affair fog period too because I was too busy doing the pick me dance, which of course, never works. I’m on year 3 of her lawyer dragging the divorce out so she can escape consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 02:21 AM
2

She’s a cake eater. I wonder how her first marriage ended.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 11:52 AM
3

She has someone else. She wants “something other than divorce” because she makes more than you and will be on the hook for child support and alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 11:29 AM
14

The fact that she put him under a woman’s name in her phone means she’s just getting better at hiding it. You’re not going to want to hear what I have to say next. Hit the eject. There’s nothing to save here. You are an ATM and you’re doing the “Pick me dance” which never works. Be glad you don’t have kids and get out before you do. It should be a quick and relatively painless divorce. Once they lose respect for you it never comes back. You’re young enough to find someone who respects you, who y…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 11:19 AM
2

You’ll wish it would go faster, getting to the end. But it will get slighter better each day. Her behavior will change how you look at her and there is light at the end of the tunnel. You’re not alone. This forum is a life saver.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 12:51 PM
3

Yeah, mine said she had a “midlife self awareness” 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 12:44 PM
7

This is pretty much my same story and I could have written it along with probably 90% of the other guys here. I’m 3 years in, take from me don’t wait for it to crash and burn. Go get a life and focus on you and your kids. Even if she realizes the mistakes she’s made do you want to be the marriage police for the rest of your life? Statistically these things fail, but some don’t and you’ll torture yourself waiting for karma to come around. As I write this I realize you need to go through all the s…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 12:40 PM
9

That about sums it up for 80% of the cases
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 02:09 PM
6

Sounds like she’s pretty narcissistic. She wears a mask around others.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 01:34 PM
5

One you lose their respect it’s very hard if not impossible to get it back.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 10:42 PM
7

She is cheating and has been the whole time. It’s painfully obvious to those of us who have been through this before. I’m sorry dude. Get a lawyer and file. You can always call it off, but I suggest not. Never be her plan B.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 10:40 PM
2

Same. Each offer is worse than the last. Fuck them. See you in court.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 03:25 AM
1

Exactly. The yoga pants Prosecco Cackle Crew.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 03:22 AM
1

No. I wish I left at that moment and never looked back. I’d delete that comment if I were you in case your ex’s lawyer gets wind of your Reddit account. It’s a bad look and I wouldn’t want to have to explain that to a judge, even though you’re allowed to be angry - that’s your animal instinct talking. Violence just would’ve been bad for you. Don’t do her any favors. She isn’t worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 03:18 AM
3

They’ll come around when they’re older. Buying love only lasts so long. At some point they’ll see your ex’s true nature.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 01:41 AM
2

My kids mentioned she cries in church. Do you believe that? She goes to church now. Hypocrite.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 01:38 AM
3

I’ve asked how she sleeps at night and looks herself in the mirror numerous times. As far as the sleep part…next to her AP. It’s ok, after seeing how he wrecked his wife I’m sure he’ll do it to mine too eventually too once he gets bored and uses her all up. He’s a sociopath. I have no doubt he had career advancement in mind.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 01:35 AM
4

Oh yeah. My ex had the hens in her ear giving her the play book too. Same thing, let him think your considering staying while you get the assets lined up in your name, tell the cops you’re scared of him to get him removed from the house, deny the affair at all costs even if he knows… after she left they even pretended to be on my side long enough to find out how much I knew and then reported back to her. Once she knew I knew most of it I had to be punished by trying to take my kids away. I call …
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 01:29 AM
2

Well I can relate. Sounds like our exes are cut from the same cloth. She has done her best to financially crush me over the past almost 3 years. With what she makes she can afford a better lawyer, they just keep delaying trial, I believe, in hopes that I’ll cave and take a shitty deal.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 12:21 AM
8

Your ex sounds like mine. #bossbitch She makes quarter a million a year base plus minimum 15% bonuses. I was a SAHD too but did contract work. I took less hours at her demand to raise my kids because her career was too important. Then she fucked her coworker. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:58 PM
2

Sounds like you agreed under duress but I’m not a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:52 PM
19

Why do ex wives do this shit? It’s so damaging to kids. Oh, yeah…money.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:50 PM
4

This is why time is on our side. Men age like Sean Connery, so do women 😂
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 04:09 PM
5

Haha. Yeah we talked in circles about how my “behavior” in my reaction to her raw dogging another guy, coming home full of his semen and then raw dogging me in less than 24 hrs, risking my health and robbing me of informed consent was inappropriate. Not her behavior that spawned my reasonably upset reaction. The mental gymnastics are truly amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 03:53 PM
4

You might have better luck in r/divorce or one of the narcissist subreddits. This one is mostly men.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 03:45 PM
5

Yeah, I’d put money on it. She’s hitting all the tell tale behavior marks. Im truly sorry you’re going through this. It happened to me as well and I didn’t want to believe. She will definitely blame shift everything on you. Do the 180° and grey rock. Get a lawyer yesterday. Keep a voice activated recorder on you at all times around her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 03:55 AM
9

Dude she cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 03:09 AM
10

That’s a flaw in her my man. Not you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 02:13 AM
2

They’re all orbiters. She’s knows it. They know it. I’ve had this conversation before with women I’ve dated. Every guy “friend” of hers has at least once entertained the idea of banging her. Even the ugly girls.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 01:02 AM
7

The lesson learned here? Never marry again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 12:55 AM
4

Also “mid life self awareness” 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 12:54 AM
4

Bang her sister instead. And the friend.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 12:52 AM
9

You mean consequences?!? Dear lord not those. You must be a toxic misogynist (sarcasm). How dare we want accountability? Stand in the way of tingles?!? Controlling. What other legal contract can you break and get rewarded cash and prizes for it?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 12:45 AM
8

Cash and prizes. “Asshole tax”. Yes, you’re the asshole for standing in the way of hopping on new dick and tingles.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 12:42 AM
19

This accurately sums it up. We had a great relationship and marriage for almost two decades. She wanted to jump my bones multiple times a week, texted me to say she loved me spontaneously. Legit happy and content. Until that guy from her past she had a weakness for hit her up. She secretly met him as a friend, he laid on the charm thick (married women are easy targets), they met again before he had to leave town (sense of urgency, nobody will know) and fucked. Now it’s she never loved me, our ma…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 12:37 AM
9

52, sounds like more time for her newfound love of cats. Enjoy your freedom. The story is always some variation of the same. Time is in our side bros.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 09:35 PM
10

They’re never just friends.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 06:04 PM
7

She sounds like a train wreck. You’re better off without her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 06:03 PM
10

Always.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 05:59 PM
3

It’s half her tax. Who cares if she moved cross country to hop on some new dick, that doesn’t alleviate her from marital financial obligations. Tingles don’t override obligations.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 08:08 PM
5

This. Eating in bed. Because I can. Also, the best sex in my life has been post her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 07:59 PM
9

Recreational use only
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 07:56 PM
3

I lol’d. Very true.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 01:51 PM
2

The simps basically are women. This is what happens when you have generations of men raised by single mothers. They’re conditioned their whole lives to act against their own interests and that being manly is toxic.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 01:41 PM
1

I’d take the fact that their website crashes on my phone as a bad sign of what to expect your legal representation to be like with them. Find another lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 01:36 PM
1

Where I live communication with your kids is to be unfettered.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 01:18 PM
6

Mine also said she’d make sure I’d never see the kids when I confronted her about her affair with a coworker. She left and kept her word at attempting it. Two CPS investigations triggered by her. Both came back unfounded. Hopefully that looks bad for her in court.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 11:00 PM
1

It is a hard pill to swallow but you’re not alone in this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 07:31 PM
3

Better to rip the bandaid off. She’s doing what they all do. Riding the carousel. Living like a teenager. Even if she’s not it’s best to picture this way for your own sake to detach. They have it better at first but time is on our side.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 07:23 PM
3

This is definitely true. They always made sure spouses still knew their place as outsiders to the bloodline even after decades. It’s just amazing and shocking to me. The black and white of it all and the damage it does to my kids to see it. The worst is they way they welcomed the affair partner into the fold.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 11:21 AM
5

This is something not talked about much on here other than the standard “blood is thicker than water, of course they’ll side with her”. I’d love if this was explored more for once. I too was also apart of these people’s lives for decades. Watched her younger siblings grow up. I was always accommodating to the point of bending over backwards for her family. She has an affair with a coworker, leaves for him, and her whole family cut me off that month. It’s not just her betrayal it’s her family’s b…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 11:18 AM
1

Marriage is a two horse cart. You’re dragging a dead horse. Better to lose the dead weight. Sorry to be blunt. Sometimes as men we need to get the kick in the ass of the reality of the situation to snap out of it and do what needs to be done.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 03:21 PM
2

Actually lots of hotter and even younger would. I’m in my 50s and have zero problems in the ladies department. You’re not the milk going sour in this situation, you’re the wine the gets better with age. Know this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 03:19 PM
1

It’s your only option really. The sooner you accept this the faster the healing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 03:14 PM
1

Putting 10000% effort into this isn’t going to make her change her mind, it will make her respect you even less. She has already shown you the effort you put in already isn’t appreciated. 180°, grey rock and take the lead on the divorce. It’s coming and there’s nothing you can do. This is her brokenness not hers. Focus on you and your kids only because she is focused only on her and will be from here on out.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 03:13 PM
1

Time will tell for sure, but it sure sounds like monkey branching to me. Stop listening to her words and start listening to her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 03:09 PM
3

She has someone in mind at the very least. Women like this don’t leave without a soft place to land. Monkey branching.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:21 PM
3

Absolutely this. Came here to say this. I bought the books on how to save your marriage with a walk away wife. Doing the 180° etc. in the end it didn’t matter I’m still getting divorced. Once they lose respect it’s over.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:18 PM
5

Going through this myself. She does her best to paint me as unstable while simultaneously doing things to cause conflict like making it difficult to contact my kids, double standards etc, she even filed two CPS reports to try to remove the kids from my custody. Both came back unfounded. Meanwhile, simultaneously she wants me to watch them when she travels for work. Think about that for a minute. We’re just going to have to go to court to settle this because she’s delusional and thinks everything…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 02:43 PM
3

I love your comments. I find them extremely helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 02:06 PM
1

I bet if you do the things you prepared for, renewing friendships and dedicating yourself to the things you liked to do before being married her attitude will change for the better. This is basically the crux of the theory behind the 180 (look it up in regards to divorce). You’re basically getting a life again that doesn’t revolve around her. I’d suggest reading “no more mr nice guy” too. This just might be the thing that saves your marriage. Women want a man who leads. Take her off the pedestal…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 10:29 AM
2

You can’t sit around waiting for this to happen. You’ll get stuck and it won’t happen quick enough.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 10:13 AM
2

Strong Successful Male on YouTube has a lot of success stories, but I always love hearing these so more is better. I especially love the ones where the cheating ex wife finds out the grass isn’t greener or gets the karma they deserve.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 09:58 AM
5

Absolutely zero benefit for a man to get married these days.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 09:55 AM
2

Absolutely correct about the past meaning nothing and new tingles = you’re now worthless dog 💩 really hits the nail on the head.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 09:49 AM
3

Time to re-establish those relationships with your family. You’re going to need a support network around you during this. You played into her hands it’s easier to control you if you’re isolated from everyone who is critical of her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 11:14 AM
2

They all say the want amicable, then watch the crazy come out.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 11:09 AM
2

Oh boy. Definitely bail. She is already checked out and just using you until her ducks are in a row.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 11:05 AM
4

Divorce won’t happen within two months anyway. You can file and still keep your word. Problem solved 🤷🏻‍♂️ She probably is planning to do the same to you after the 2 months are up. Don’t let her control it. Take away her playbook and beat her to the punch.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 10:59 AM
6

Oh yeah divorced or single friends will definitely get in her head and tell her she can do better. You have no kids it sounds like, and you’ve been married a short time. Rip the bandaid off and get out now.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 10:49 AM
9

Your marriage is over. You’re just an ATM to her. She’s laying groundwork for a domestic protection order. Keep a voice activated recorder on you at all times dealing with her and go see a lawyer. Unfortunately she has laid the groundwork for you to keep paying after you divorce but at least you’ll be free of this. You can always make more money. Life is too short to live with this bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 10:45 AM
2

I saw somebody write recently that divorce is the new Covid variant. That concept really hit home.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 04:44 PM
35

She found out her plan wasn’t going to work and that she was for recreational use only. She’ll come back long enough to get her ducks in a row and do it again. I’d keep moving forward with the divorce if it was me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 12:33 PM
1

Yep. Really disgusting. Like I said it’s a disguise, presenting themselves as pillars of the community.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 05:34 PM
6

So true. My cheating ex was Christian. It’s all an act. Do what they want and then act churchy on Sunday for appearances. It’s a disguise at best. I stopped going to our church because they enable this behavior even though there’s two commandments against it. They don’t care about her affair or her going to church with her AP now, even though they know it destroyed my kids. Just as long as they tithe adultery is a ok. Hypocrites.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 01:41 PM
2

Very much this
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:42 AM
2

Everybody loves my cheating ex. She’s a covert narcissist with sociopathic tendencies. They’re real charmers and love bombing is real.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:41 AM
1

Do you live in a state that allows common law marriage? Think 🧐
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:38 AM
3

Red flag 🚩manipulative to get what she wants. Red flag 🚩 weight loss surgery.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:35 AM
1

Double or triple the number she gave.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:34 AM
2

I assume most women’s body count is higher than we expect. Nature of the beast. I usually assume double what they admit too. I’m not saying what to do, it’s possible she’s learned from her past. I do see some red flags 🚩 though. Red flag 🚩1)After a breakup she obviously used sex for validation. That’s not good. Red flag 🚩 2) She is the child of divorce where cheating was involved, I don’t think statistics favor relationships with this dynamic. Red Flag 🚩 3) I can’t cite the source at the moment …
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 10:26 AM
9

Don’t underestimate the power of saying no at mediation and then pushing for a trial date. The only reason I haven’t been in court yet is I did the same and said see you in court. Her lawyer delayed and delayed to the point the judge is getting pissed. 3 days before the trial date she tipped her hand and offered a shitty deal to avoid trial, I said no again. I’m getting everything I deserve which is half the assets, child support and alimony. Day before we go to trial her lawyer filed a continua…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 09:07 AM
6

Nope. I’ve thought that a few times as well. The problem is I love my kids, she uses that to her advantage even though she’s destroying the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 08:54 AM
8

She was never yours, it was just your turn
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 03:05 PM
7

I wouldn’t get married again for any reason. No upside.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 02:55 AM
6

This is exactly what will happen. Listen to this OP
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 01:25 AM
4

She wants to leave let her leave, but the kids stay.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 01:21 AM
5

This was my thought as well. She probably reconnected with an old high school boyfriend or some other variation on the same story.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 01:18 AM
12

First of all she can file for child support at anytime. Don’t take her word for it. Second don’t let her leave the state with the kids your relationship will be distant with the kids at best. Alienated at worst.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 01:15 AM
5

It’s a shit show. Just have fun. Date somebody younger because you can, it’s a privilege at our age. We get better as we age, the opposite sex, in my experience, tends to get jaded with age and have unrealistic laundry lists of must haves. Lots of alpha widows are out there too, especially on the apps. That being said I’ve had the best sex of my life since my marriage split.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 12:11 AM
4

My son pulled a stunt this week. He has been misbehaving at school and got in school suspension. One of the consequences we ( teachers, mom, me) all agreed on was if he doesn’t behave in school that day he loses his access to his games for the day. I enforce this because kids need consequences. His mother doesn’t so he decided he didn’t want to be at my house during my custody time to the point of him lying to her to get his way. I told him if he doesn’t want to be with me right now and go to hi…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 11:16 AM
3

On this note FYI, Otter.AI ( not affiliated at all) has been great for transcribing recordings.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 12:03 PM
11

I call them “the yoga pants cackle crew” they all sit around sipping Prosecco encouraging their married friends to get divorced because misery loves company.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 01:18 PM
1

Exactly it’s small talk. If they get defensive they are either stepping out or tryin to.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 12:14 PM
3

This is my experience too. Not a single one of the divorcées took any responsibility. If you ask them what happened the response is their husband was an abusive a-hole. My experience has been I If you don’t agree with them on something that’s “abuse”. Just ask their cackle crew divorced friends egging them on. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 12:06 PM
3

This. She has someone in mind at a minimum. She’s comparing before pulling the plug. I’d bet on it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 12:02 PM
9

“You should of known”. Ugh, that’s triggering. I bet a lot of us have heard that. How about communicating?
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 11:51 AM
5

My ex said to me yesterday “what about your accountability in all this?!” I am 100% not accountable for your affair and breaking your vows.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 10:38 PM
5

Agreed. I’d flag the kids passports with the state department too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 05:23 PM
0

Bravo!
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 12:48 PM
4

When the one who gives her tingles comes along she’ll be out in a heart beat.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 12:18 PM
6

Same thing except mine waited until 40
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 12:17 PM
14

Losing 50% of anything wasn’t enough? Wanna lose 50% of what’s left? You’re signing up for all the burdens of husband and father to her kids with none of the benefits. Try disciplining her kids and see what happens. “You’re not their father!” Find someone who hasn’t hit the wall and with no kids, there are plenty of them out there. Get a damn vasectomy before you get baby trapped. This woman likely sees you as an ATM machine.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 12:02 PM
16

Space means she’s interested in someone else and you’re plan B.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 11:58 AM
2

I used to have the dreams nightly and it would take me 1-2 hours to go back to sleep. I’m 2.75 years out and am happy to say that I only get them occasionally now. Once every few months. Eventually it will be years and then never. Make sure to keep going to therapy and it might speed things up a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 10:54 AM
10

This is the second great post I’ve read here today. I need these kind of posts to fire me up as I head to court at the end of this month to finalize this shit show.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 10:48 AM
6

I love posts like this. You’re better off.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 10:29 AM
9

A lot of people think divorce is contagious. Others don’t know what to say and rather than feel awkward when you talk about things they just virtual signal and then avoid.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 06:54 PM
11

She will take zero accountability and also never give you the closure you are looking for. Make your own closure.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 06:07 PM
10

I love karma stories. She made this bed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 05:36 PM
2

No or little contact is the only way through this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:22 AM
1

I feel this to the bone.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:21 AM
2

Kill your expectations.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 04:38 AM
3

Yes, they become unrecognizable after an affair starts.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:01 AM
4

This right here is why
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 02:59 AM
1

I auto swipe right on those 3, but with the expectation it will be a quick one or two time thing. No attachment.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 02:15 AM
3

You don’t. They’re never yours it’s just your turn. They all leave the same way. It’s their nature.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:25 PM
2

Mine did this exact same thing. Ilybinilwy, work colleague, within a month they were leaving their spouses for each other. She used her VP position at work to create a job for him, hire him, get him a relocation package and sign on bonus, she got a bonus for new hire, then her whole family and network dropped me. I was enemy number 1. No idea what she told them but I was obviously the bad guy judging by the icing out and stink eyes I was getting. Then she went to work on the kids friends parents…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:18 PM
4

Yes. She did.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:05 AM
2

I could’ve written this. I’m in the same spot 2.5 years later. Never a word from her about being unhappy, in fact she told me she was right up until she left for AP. I did temperature checks regularly. History completely rewritten now with me as the bad guy. I believe she snapped from Covid as well.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 09:04 PM
5

Here to tell you the cap isn’t 50. I’ve been slaying it out there with the ladies and I’m 53 and 85% of them are much younger.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:50 AM
1

Bang her affair partner if men are on the menu.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 12:10 AM
1

Bang her twin! Seems like a good way to get over her. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 12:09 AM
1

She isn’t going to snap out of it. That person is dead, she just looks like her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 12:01 AM
2

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 11:59 PM
15

In my marriage of 14 years I never once heard “I’m sorry, I was wrong” the only close to it was “I’m sorry you feel that way” which isn’t an apology at all and put the blame back on me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 11:36 PM
19

Women will take zero accountability in it all. This is normal. You will always be the bad guy in their head.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 10:55 PM
8

Sounds like to me a she called it off because her ducks weren’t quite in a row. She came back until they are. You’re being used. Push forward with the divorce and cut the dead weight. It’s over.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 01:37 AM
6

Right here 🙋🏻‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 01:06 AM
1

Seriously you would think judges would see through this BS.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 01:38 AM
2

Seriously this is the way to go. You’re so right on so many levels.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 01:35 AM
1

I could have written this. Same experience.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 03:43 PM
4

I’ve had the same issues. Viagra saved the day. My ex cheated so mind movies I guess were the cause, plus I picked up smoking again from the stress of separation, divorce, financial ruin. Crazy sex now though 😈
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 09:32 PM
6

So it’s a woman’s nature to lose attraction over time. Boom! It’s not your fault guys, no matter what she says. Science 🤓
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 10:15 PM
1

Sounds like my ex
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 04:42 PM
3

Agreed. It’d be easier if we had a crappy marriage. We didn’t. Yes we had low points here and there but for the most part we were best friends and enjoyed each other’s company… until he came to town, a person from her past, then it was all that over. I was completely blindsided. Apparently, as I’ve come to accept, I was plan B the entire 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 01:24 PM
5

My ex did the very same thing to me. I’m 500 miles away from everyone I know and love. Her lawyer has been dragging this out for 2.5 years now. Christmas Eve my kids call me, my son is visibly upset because her affair partner is there and the kids know he blew up their family. They hate him. She’s just forcing the issue trying to get them to accept him and they won’t. Her and her affair partner are doing so much damage to my kids. She’s stone cold. She thought she’d just cut me out and move him …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 12:57 PM
3

What you wrote I could’ve written right up until the 17th year of my relationship. Things change people change.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 03:03 AM
5

COVID turned mine into a different person too. It’s hard seeing her at kid drop off. She looks the same but the person I loved, my best friend, just isn’t there anymore and has been replaced by a demon.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 12:31 AM
13

Cheaters playbook 101. It’s always the betrayed spouses fault 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 12:49 PM
10

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 12:47 PM
9

I feel sorry for your ex and the nasty entitled harpy he had to put up with. Don’t worry the wall is coming for you if it hasn’t already. Enjoy your future life as a lonely cat enthusiast.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 11:51 AM
9

Found the bitter ex wife stalking a men’s group
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 11:35 AM
1

I’ve been thinking about you actually. I’m doing ok, divorce still dragging on but I’m still drowning in the pool. I thought I had a good sex life in my 20’s lol. The craziest sex has been in the 2 years since my ex split. I had no idea what I was missing. I’ve got some crazy stories. DM me sometime we’ll catch up.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 11:42 PM
2

Desire can’t be negotiated
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 03:12 PM
1

Naughty nuns are the best 😈
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 03:10 PM
5

It’s funny adultery is the only thing mentioned in the commandments twice. Thou shall not commit adultery. Thou shall not covet your neighbors spouse. Even murder is only in there once. You’d think Christians would get this message.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 02:57 PM
1

Exactly this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 02:55 PM
1

I’d say best predictor you can ask for is her family and their morals. Sometimes these aren’t apparent though if their all narcissists. Her parents…Are they still married? If so maybe you have a better chance? Maybe. I for one will never marry again. I’ve already had kids and continued my bloodline.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 02:53 PM
8

Exactly this experience! The quiet is nice though now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 10:07 PM
24

Because there is only one parachute in every relationship. She took it and jumped. You’re dealing with the aftermath of that betrayal. Repeatedly I see men willing to go the distance because they made a commitment and have integrity. We’re taught to keep our word. Women are a different animal altogether, it’s called Hypergamy. I suggest reading leave a cheater gain a life, no more mr nice guy and definitely the rational male. I’m sorry you’re going thru this. Hell, I’m sorry we all are.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 11:59 AM
8

Seeing how so many stories seem to be the same, it’s rational advice in an irrational situation.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 11:25 PM
12

The sub saved my life probably. I’ve definitely tried to pay it forward and help others earlier on in the process. I plan to for the foreseeable future too even after the divorce is final. If I can help even one person survive that makes my struggle not in vain. We’ve all got brothers here we’ve never met IRL that understand… and that helps.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 11:21 PM
2

Sadly this is the case. If you want to keep your marriage never be a SAHD. She’ll lose all respect for you. Once that happens your marriage is done.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 04:09 PM
1

My wife was the same. Kept telling me to keep my career on the back burner because hers was advancing and she didn’t want our kids “raised by strangers”. She eventually got an executive position and decided she could do better, so she started banging a married colleague. Two decades of my life burned to the ground in less than 6 weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 04:05 PM
3

Ignore her words watch her actions. It took me a while to get this thru my head. Her actions will reveal all the truth you need to know. Also, she’s probably banging a coworker for the upgrade she thinks she’ll get.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 04:02 PM
16

Yep. I thought I found a “good one” too. 18 years later she started fucking a coworker and cast me aside. The only reason she wants custody of the kids is so she doesn’t have to pay. She doesn’t give a fuck the damage she’s caused our kids or me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 07:23 PM
2

Truth!!! I just want this over with. My evil ex wife’s lawyer just keeps dragging this out filing motions and delaying court dates. I love my kids, but man the temptation to just jet has definitely crossed my mind. The thing is, the thought of her fucked up parents raising my kids while she dumps the kids off to go fuck her affair partner just kills me. I had perfect credit and a good job, now I’m bankrupted with close to a $100k in credit card debt because of lawyers dragging this out. Every ti…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 07:13 PM
11

Yup, read her comment history
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 12:48 PM
6

Yes! Of course who knows what shit my ex has talked but she was actually the homewrecker. I’m sure if they knew she not only blew up her marriage but also somebody else’s they would avoid her like the plague. Also, men are viewed as incompetent at best and child molesters at worst. It’s just assumed the mother is stable even if she’s a friggin mess.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 10:36 PM
2

Mine left for a work colleague from her past. 2+ years and they’re still together. I guess they beat the odds. Lucky me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 05:13 PM
2

It’s an incredibly impossible situation. Painful. Also, I’m stuck in a city 500 miles away from family and friends because we moved here for her job. Her friends and family are here (I think she planned to move us here and then leave) My mother was in the hospital Monday and my uncle just got diagnosed with dementia and I can’t be there while those I love wither away.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:07 PM
5

They’re like vampires. You have to invite them in. Lesson learned.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 05:58 PM
5

I regret not walking out an never looking back the day I found out about the affair. Should’ve ghosted her and let her be a single mother. Problem is I love my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 05:55 PM
13

Marriage literally destroyed my life and my kids. Not recommended.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 12:24 AM
1

Lol. Cat 🐈enthusiasts
/r/MensRights09/11/23 05:33 PM
1

Transcribe the audio using Otter.ai, print it out or make a pdf of the transcript and highlight the important parts with the time stamps. That’s what I’m doing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 01:10 PM
1

Go read “no more mr nice guy” like yesterday! It will either turn things around in your marriage or give you the tools you need to move onto something better.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 12:51 PM
2

Keep a ongoing calendar of overnights with you vs overnights the kids have with her. I wish I did this from the start. This will help custody especially if the kids are with you more. Especially record of when she has the kids if she dumps them off with family or a friend. Her priority is her new boyfriend not the kids, it’s sick watching women do this. Where’s the motherly instinct? I watched it all unfold in my divorce. It’s very common. Also, make sure you get your kids in therapy ASAP
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 11:20 AM
1

Mine went to counseling and the minute we got there she said to the counselor “I’m not here to save my marriage, I’m here to learn how to tell the kids we’re divorcing”. Bonus points she can point to the counseling session and tell others “I tried to work on things before leaving”. She wins pity points then from the boxed wine cackle crowd that enable her then.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 03:04 PM
2

My wife called it a “midlife self awareness” 🙄 then proceeded to blow up (with her married coworker) my, my children’s, and the affair partner’s wife’s lives along with all of the family and friends on both sides of both marriages. Shifting all the blame to me and accepting zero accountability for her actions. The whole thing is insane.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 12:03 PM
6

…which means she’s planning her exit and ahead of you probably
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 10:13 AM
5

Until she finds out what she’ll be paying in alimony and child support at 50/50 vs her having a majority of the custody. Queue the false emergency custody claims. If she gets majority she’ll just dump the kids off on whoever she can and give you the “it takes a village to raise kids as a single mom” speech.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 08:39 PM
0

Why would they? They get rewarded to do so and it’s erotic and sophisticated if they do. If a man does it he’s just a shitbag.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 07:57 PM
2

It really should be a crime. It does so much damage not only to the spouse and kids but family and friends as well. If there are two marriages destroyed in the process it’s doubly worse. Yet they get away with it with almost no consequences
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 07:55 PM
6

This guy revenges correctly
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 06:51 AM
1

The kids are old enough to know the truth. Just don’t editorialize. She’s the one who ruined her relationships not you. You aren’t her PR agent and affairs thrive in darkness. Shine the light on it and watch the roaches scatter.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 10:39 PM
4

Mine changed overnight too after a new job and higher salary. Almost like the new tax bracket and title entitled her to a better category of men.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 12:19 PM
1

Teach us your ways with 35+ women.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 03:03 PM
1

Divorced
/r/MensRights30/09/23 02:50 PM
11

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 07:37 PM
2

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 02:56 PM
2

Ha mine told me it wasn’t a midlife crisis it as a “midlife self awareness” 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 01:56 AM
8

“Ghost dads”, dads who just cut the check every month and are otherwise missing. Look it up. It’s a thing. When I first read about that I thought how could a man do that?! Now I know there’s a point where the battle has been lost and your just living an unhealthy existence. I’m also dealing with alienation from their mother and am fighting for 50/50 as hard as I can. The battle has taken its toll on me and definitely on the kids. I think she is a terrible mother and her whole family of narcissis…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 01:43 PM
1

Tell me more. These western women suck
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 06:53 PM
1

Murdered the life he could have had is a very sobering statement and accurate. It reminds me of that line from Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven… “funny thing about killing a man, you take away all he had and all he ever was going to have” The same could be said about mothers affairs and their children.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 03:26 PM
1

Yep. She’ll become a weekend cum dump. Nobody is gonna sign up for that headache. At least nobody worth it. The wall and reality incoming soon. “Where have all the good men gone?!?” You broke them.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 03:21 PM
3

People who say “kids are resilient” aren’t invested in my experience. Kids shouldn’t have to be resilient, they should get to be happy kids, like mine were before my wife threw a hand grenade into our happy family with her affair. I fucking hate that resilient term.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 02:34 PM
2

Dude, I think we had the same wife. Shit talking in-laws checks out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 12:14 PM
3

I’m kind of in the same boat. I can relate. I moved here for my wife’s job and then she pulled the “I love you but I’m not in love with you bullshit” and had an affair with her married coworker and left. It’s been a 2 year shit show since she left. I love my kids. I was with them every day until the split. Now I’m stuck in a town 500 miles away from my family and friends and there is no decent paying work in this town. If I don’t get 50/50 I’m going to be forced to leave. It sucks and I’m in an …
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 06:17 PM
17

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been on here two years now and the majority of these stories are the same. Woman pops out a few kids, hits the magic 38-43 age range, decides she isn’t happy and leaves for a coworker. This is where our society is at now. It makes me sick. I wish there was an ounce of fairness in any of this but there isn’t. Even if you reconcile she can and probably will do it again. Because she won’t respect you, she already doesn’t. Pull the plug. Your marriage is ove…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 12:50 PM
4

I told her she was having a midlife crisis she said it was a “midlife self awareness”
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/23 08:09 AM
2

This right here.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 09:10 PM
3

Blow that shit up. Affairs thrive in darkness, shine the light on it otherwise she’ll control the narrative and that narrative will be character assassination of you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 02:03 PM
3

Yep. My eyes are wide open now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:45 PM
1

Fat girl angle. They all do it. No full body pic? They’re big girls.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:42 PM
1

I think you’re on to something here.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:40 PM
5

Classic. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:26 PM
3

It’ll get better once you dust yourself off. Men age like Sean Connery, so do women. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:18 PM
2

Mine said almost this exact same thing. Thanks for the effort Peaches!
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:14 PM
1

Went to buy this and realized this was the book my wife was reading when her affair started and I think she used snippets of it to justify leaving for affair partner. I find myself now triggered and conflicted about buying it, maybe it’s just a book and I shouldn’t hold myself back because she used it. Or maybe it will trigger me more? ETA both our lives have been a shit show since.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 02:53 PM
2

Yes. You’re not ready to date yet but sometimes getting over someone by getting under someone is what you need.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 01:13 PM
1

My chat doesn’t seem to be working.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 03:52 AM
1

I’m all ears. AP has political aspirations but he isn’t there yet. Just his delusions of grandeur. Plus I believe they would fail once his homophobia and racist skinhead past details come out. He does have a high position at their job because she secured it for him using her power. I’m sure he is using her to boost his career. I need to hit the gym more. I keep ignoring this very basic advice.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 03:48 AM
1

1) she gave a half hearted “I’m sorry I hurt you” apology when it first started but it was just lip service. Her actions don’t align with her words. She isn’t sorry at all, only sorry she got caught and looks bad. How did court go? It didn’t. She hired the dirtiest lawyer in town and they have been delaying consequences by filing motions and continuances the whole time to delay court action. I believe their plan is to bankrupt me with legal fees. I did inform family and friends. Her friends and …
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 03:19 AM
22

The kids were just accessories to have when all her friends were having kids. What happened to motherly instincts? She’s a terrible mother. Our 10 year old son is completely broken by this, my 7 year old daughter only slightly better. It’s terrible to hear my son say life is just pain and he doesn’t want to live anymore as a direct result of her actions. I try to talk to her about this and she rips my head off and blames it all on me?!?
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:05 AM
24

Agreed. She doesn’t understand why I’m not over it. I spent every day of the first 10 years of my kids lives with them. Every day. She fucks some other dude and now I’ve lost 50% of my time with them. The only reason I get that at all is because she doesn’t want to look bad, pay more child support, plus free baby sitting so she can go get her back blown out. She’d give up all her time with the kids if it were not for the first two reasons. Her priority is her new shiny turd.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:01 AM
1

Bumble and Hinge are dating apps. Most of these women I go on repeat dates with, dates and activities. I’m all about meeting someone who knocks my socks off. Haven’t yet. You don’t know shit about me so kindly fuck off.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 04:38 PM
1

FetLife mostly. Tinder is mostly a waste. Bumble and hinge are decent. FB dating has produced a few. It’s a mixed bag. You wanna get laid or pump the stump? Golden rules apply: 1. Be attractive 2. Don’t be unattractive I don’t date most women my age. They’ve hit the wall honestly. I’m mostly attracted to 25-35. Anything over that better be spectacular, otherwise they have too much baggage and look old. Men age like Sean Connery, so do women. Don’t underestimate daddy issues and the fact that wom…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 04:13 AM
3

Seriously, same. Sex has been crazier and kinkier since splitting with the ex. I never realized how many squirters there are out there. I thought that was just in porn.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 01:11 AM
2

I’ve seen a lot of vaginas since the split. I mean a lot. There are plenty of innies and outies. I mean, I love meatloaf but who wants to eat only meatloaf for the rest of their life? Variety keeps things interesting. It’s a Golden Corral buffet out there.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 01:08 AM
1

😂😂😂 wedding cake. Truth.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:54 AM
1

Seeking arrangements is a sugar baby site. Best to get the ones that just joined than the ones on it for years. Eros.com for escorts
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:47 AM
2

We all pay for it one way or another. Escorts and sugar babies just don’t hide it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:44 AM
2

This guy gets it
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:33 AM
3

Personally I’ve been drowning myself in the pussy pool since the split. I rarely go more than a few days without and I’m in my 50s. I’ve got 10-12 women ranging from 23- 52 chasing me currently, all casual. I have different things in common with each of them, some are activities, others just want to get off and go. Some are real freaks in bed. Women like sex just as much as we do. Think of it as spinning plates, spin a few and if one falls off replace it with another. You’ll be fine once you adj…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 10:50 PM
25

The more you do to make her happy the less she will respect you. You were better off when she was chasing you to commit. Be just out of reach. Unattainable. They only want what they can’t have.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 12:02 AM
1

Ding! Ding! Ding! Absolutely this.👆🏻
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 12:49 PM
1

I highly recommend those books. I think I’ve listened to both of them at least half a dozen times. Other recommendations for your road trip: Models - Mark Manson Subtle art of not giving a f*ck - Mark Manson The Rational Male - Rollo Tomassi The Art of Seduction - Robert Greene How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 12:28 PM
3

My wife did the same. Turned 41 and a guy that rejected her in the past wanted to upgrade his career. He comes to town to “network” (hit on my wife) and BOOM! 18 year relationship, 14 married over in a month. She got him a $260k a year job with stock and bonuses and $100k relocation package. He left his wife immediately and has been banging mine since while laughing all the way to the bank.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 06:13 PM
7

Absolutely banging another dude
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 01:00 AM
2

Hypergamy
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 04:19 AM
2

This is the sobering reality of the nature of women and marriage. Take note young men. You get married and everything above in this post will play out exactly as written.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 08:19 AM
5

52 here. I’m fucked. Upside is I’m sure stress from the divorce has shortened my lifespan a bit. I’ll rest when I’m dead I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 01:22 AM
2

She betrayed you. You don’t owe her shit anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 04:45 AM
2

My wife and her affair partner both have security clearances as well. I’m very tempted to call in a tip about the affair. It’s a security clearance violation from what I know.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 01:23 AM
2

I totally blame social media and grass is greener syndrome. If your wife doesn’t actively have grass is greener syndrome from social media you can bet money one of her toxic friends does and will start talking in her ear telling her she could do better.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 12:50 PM
1

My quality of life has definitely been lowered and I’ve lost most of my comfort. In fact I would bet going through all the stress involved in this shit show over the past 2 years has actually shortened my life span as well. I should be getting ready to retire at my age, now I have to start over from scratch at 52. Your assumptions are naive.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 12:39 PM
2

As soon as I found out about my wife’s affair I started experience some ED or inability to finish. Mind movies and stress and all that can have an effect. It’s getting better slowly, I need to also get my T checked.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 06:51 PM
9

Good that’s what she deserves
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 05:41 AM
2

People say shit they don’t mean in arguments all the time. Nobody is perfect. If you allow her that, and accept that it was your fault, she will take that and run with it as an excuse. Don’t do that. It’s for better or for worse. I have your back and you have mine. She didn’t keep her part of the bargain. She’s at fault not you. You kept your vows. She did not.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 12:02 AM
3

Both are excellent book. I bought the audio and book versions and have listened to both numerous times. I take away something new each time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 11:58 PM
3

“When you’re going through hell, keep going.”
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 11:54 PM
1

I’m pretty sure if you both agree to no child support it won’t hold up and she can hit you for child support any time. Child support is about taking care of the kids. May vary from state to state.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 02:09 PM
13

Yeah, it was obvious right from the start the woman mediator chose to side with the ex. Fuck it. Go to court. If I lose at least I know I fought as hard as I could.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 10:43 PM
3

Makes sense. My understanding is unless I signed anything it doesn’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 08:52 PM
1

Almost guaranteed affair
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 10:09 PM
2

Hate to say it dude… she’s fucking someone else and formulating her exit strategy because she thinks the grass is greener. Gather evidence, don’t let on you suspect. Get a lawyer and a voice activated recorder YESTERDAY! Keep the VAC on you when around her. She will try to fuck you over on her way out to get the best deal for her.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 01:43 AM
2

So where does one find MGTOW content now? Asking for a friend.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 06:19 PM
1

No More Mr Nice Guy. Read it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 12:22 PM
4

Stories like this keep me going.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 11:48 AM
2

I like to believe that women regret the chaos they cause one day. Starting to believe they never will. My ex doesn’t believe she did anything wrong by having sex with her married co-worker, leaving and destroying our family with two small kids after 19 years together which 90% of were good. She doesn’t understand why I didn’t just move on after a week or two. She just sees me as a roadblock to her new life with him and is super hateful.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 11:45 AM
17

They get worse in their 40s. It’s ok. I’ll keep banging models in the mid 20s. 😂 she did me a favor
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 02:07 AM
12

Exactly this. Get a voice activated recorder YESTERDAY and keep it on you at all times without her knowing. That way when she pulls this, and she will, you can produce evidence that you did nothing. You don’t think she’ll do it, I thought that. I was wrong. It’s standard playbook for women. Luckily the recorder saved my ass and I am still in the home and she had to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 07:14 PM
11

I would think for the stability of the kids a judge would give you primary and see through her crazy antics. If there’s any justice in the world that is.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 02:22 PM
7

Probably a coworker or old flame.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 02:03 AM
10

Ding. Ding. Ding. This 👆🏻
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 02:03 AM
3

My wife used 2-3 sessions to justify her leaving. “See, I tried but it just didn’t work”
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 01:07 AM
3

“A woman in love will do anything for you, except love you again”
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 01:06 AM
2

So basically the “pick me dance”. This is a men’s group.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 01:02 AM
2

And don’t do the “pick me dance”
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 12:49 AM
3

All about the “feel” and not about the real.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 06:59 PM
5

Works in a hospital?!? That’s not good. Co-worker.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 11:59 AM
7

Seriously read No More Mr Nice Guy. It’s a wake up call.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 11:11 AM
3

Usually it’s a coworker. Or and old flame. Regardless somebody is talking in her ear telling her she could do better.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 11:09 AM
8

It means she’s done she just needs to come up with her exit strategy now. Usually a white knight savior. Somebody from work. She won’t leave until she has somebody to leave for. She’s looking now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 11:06 AM
5

That will do it. Doesn’t matter if you’re on your death bed. They kick you when you’re down instead of standing by you to get through the rough times. It’s short sighted because when you get through those times together it makes the relationship stronger.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 11:04 AM
2

It’s hard to swallow as a man in his 50’s too especially after wasting 19 years on one and two young kids. Better late than never I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 12:26 AM
2

Always the same story.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 11:17 AM
1

Can’t wait for this to happen to my ex. Also, left after 18 years for some crush she had right before she met me. He’s successful too and just having fun with her as his side piece. He’ll no doubt upgrade to a younger model when she starts her bullshit. She’s almost 43 and thinks she’ll have them lining up for her single mother ass. Yeah, maybe for pump and dump. Alone is in her future. Then she’ll be lamenting “where have all the good men gone” with her harpy enabler friends. Meanwhile I’ve had…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 11:14 AM
5

I realize I may sound a bit jaded but that’s where I’m at now and it was a few women who made me come to this conclusion but most of the credit goes to my wife. So if a woman reads this, hey be a better example than 90% of what’s out there these days 🤷🏻‍♂️. I really think it’s guys who care more and are more the romantics these days than women. That just paints a target on your back, to be her ATM. I need to get the snip soon, hopefully while still covered by my ex’s health insurance 😄
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 10:39 AM
3

Your misspelling of “sole provider” actually works out in this case. They’ll swallow your soul if you let ‘em.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 02:00 AM
9

I’m pretty jaded and a curmudgeonly at this point. Take what I say with a grain of salt. That said she’s not one in a million, she’s one of a million. Time heals all and when you find the next one she’ll be a distant memory.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 01:15 AM
8

Yeah, 18 plus months of betrayal and sadness for me and my kids. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 01:07 AM
4

I spotted the woman. This is a men’s group.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 12:49 AM
2

🙌
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 12:46 AM
11

I hate to sound jaded but this is the reality with western women. Focus on building your empire and being the best you, put yourself first. They’ll be chasing you when you get there and you’ll have your pick.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 12:26 AM
18

Absolutely. They don’t marry the guys they wanna bang, they marry the guys the know will be good work horses and then bang Chad on the side.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 12:23 AM
4

I referenced the Chasing Amy Marco Polo quote somewhere in here.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 12:19 AM
34

Your need to know body count is based on the fact that one, you probably still believe in love (Disney style romantic love) I don’t think it exists these days. At least not to the extent that it used to. And two you want to be Marco Polo discovering the new world. Fact of the matter is it’s probably already been done many many times to her by plenty of other men. Women feed this virginal Princess myth. It’s all part of the game to lure a beta provider to have kids with good genes with so he can …
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 12:12 AM
6

Nice Clerks reference. Kevin Smith is the best.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 12:05 AM
8

Definitely this. Most recent one gave me a believable number around 8, a few weeks later she got drunk on tequila and started bragging it was at least 35 sometimes two different guys in one day (she thought it was funny) and one who was stupid enough to pay her $1k for a night with her. Needless to say I got out of that one. Definitely not relationship material. Then she sits there are tells me how she has 1500 guys on her dating inbox and she needs to find her forever person 🙄 you would think w…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 11:53 PM
2

Probably best to assume she’s done all the things at least once way before you got there.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 11:48 PM
2

That’s up to you. Also depends on if it was 2-3 at a time in my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 11:46 PM
13

Yes. The higher the body count the less likely she is to be satisfied long term. Whatever she tells you her body count is triple it and that will be closer to the real number.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 10:21 PM
11

You just summed up the demise of my marriage. Super common story. I’d say the majority of them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 08:04 PM
8

Super common story. They almost never leave without a soft place to land. Or is that a hard place to land? 🤔
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 07:59 PM
4

Ha! My recliner was one of the reasons my wife said she left. Go you!
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 07:57 PM
3

It amazes me how my wife was able to do this — Just give up half of her time with her kids for some cheating douchebag new boyfriend. I think some day it will be her greatest regret.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 08:06 AM
2

Subaru Forester? That’s the lesbian starter kit.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 01:05 PM
3

…and cheating women encourage others to do the same. It happened in my case. One of her friends confided in us that she wasn’t getting enough sex at home and she had started banging random dudes on work trips. Low and behold my faithful wife who I had been with for 18 years got embroiled in an affair less than 3 months later. She did a “girls night” for her birthday that actually ended up being a double date with her cheating best friend. That was the end of my marriage. My kids and I are still …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 01:01 PM
1

Hypergamy
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 11:41 AM
1

Don’t be her emotional tampon.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 11:33 AM
9

Social media and dating apps have convinced all these hags that 95% of them deserve and can get the top 1% of men out there. Reality is a bitch and they’ll find out soon enough they’re in fantasy land.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:39 AM
20

“Where have all the good men gone?” You and your friends destroyed them and they woke up to your bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:36 AM
13

Yes, her shitty friends definitely told her she could do better. They’re all a bunch of old hens that hit the wall. Misery loves company. 5 years from now they’ll all be sitting around drinking too much cheap box of’ wine and wondering why they can’t find any good men to support their single mom liberated independent woman bullshit. Fuck ‘em all. I’ll keep banging the younger ex models that treat me better, haven’t hit the wall, or become jaded old hens with an attitude and that actually appreci…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:31 AM
3

Yeah my wife wasn’t a cheater either until I caught her having an affair with a coworker. She’s monkey branching dude. I hate to sound callous but the sooner you wake up to your new reality the better decisions you will make for your future. This story is so common it’s ridiculous.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 12:58 AM
11

Absolutely this. She’s already got a white knight exit plan to save her from her horrible oppressive husband. Pull the eject.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 12:55 AM
3

I went through this with my wife. She’s devaluing you and has somebody in mind. The devaluing is so she can work up the justification for what she’s already done or is about to do. Pull the eject button, once they lose respect your marriage is over. Better to be the one calling the shots rather than wait for her to work up the courage. She might snap out of it when you pull the trigger, either way it’s better you steer the cart. Women only respect men who call the shots. So you call the shots.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 12:52 AM
1

How long did it take her to realize out of curiosity?
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 06:48 AM
2

Sorry this happened to you but I understand why you gave it another go, especially with kids involved. The problem is once you take them back they lose respect and think they can do it again and have the best of both worlds. You and I chatted before. Keep going brother, keep going…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 11:25 AM
1

That’s my boy whatamoniker1. Dive into the pool the water is just fine.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 09:23 AM
5

They all do it. My wife tried, and I never ever thought she would do that. She had the phone in her hand, I told her go ahead contact the police. They’ll hear everything you’ve done the past 8 weeks on this - as I showed her the voice recorder. She hung up the phone and moved out the next morning.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 02:16 AM
1

Run!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/23 01:23 AM
2

This video sums it all up perfectly
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 01:20 PM
1

Forgot to add Red Ginseng (panax) to that list.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 05:43 PM
1

Have your family and friends make comments about her laziness. That might wake her up and make her realize she looks like she is taking advantage and make her want to prove otherwise. Also this gets you off the hook as the enforcer or bad guy. Perception of her from others can be a powerful motivator.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 02:32 PM
2

I use L-arginine plus 5,110mg per scoop, and taurine 1000mg per capsule. I’m not a doctor so do your research. If you have low blood pressure I would def ask a doctor first. I have AFIB and run high on BP without these supplements. When I take daily my heart flutter goes away my BP normalizes and I have strong erections. Started waking up with morning wood too.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 03:29 PM
1

I’ve experienced this. Doctor won’t prescribe little blue pills because I have AFIB. Two scoops of L-arginine with Citruline and 5 Taurine capsules daily have done wonders. Not only do they steady my heart rate but they also have the side effect similar to little blue pills because they increase circulation. I plan to get my T levels checked soon as well, and get the snip.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 03:18 PM
1

Ex stole my kids passports a month or so after moving out when she came to get the the rest of her stuff. When I asked her about it she flippantly was like “yeah I did. So what?”. I asked her to return them because I didn’t want an international custody problem since custody isn’t resolved yet or as a compromise give me one and she holds one that way neither of us will flee the country with only one kid. She refused. I was about to go through the hassle of flagging them but realized they expire …
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 07:49 AM
1

Great minds think alike. It’s such a good quote.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 03:12 AM
2

Hey! I recognize that quote buddy. Haha.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 02:46 AM
1

Truer words have not been spoken.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 01:21 AM
3

Like I said. You introduced a little dread to the mix.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 09:51 PM
3

Sounds like a solid plan to me and currently the one I’m following. Just like teaches of Peaches says, “f#ck the pain away”.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 09:50 PM
4

She didn’t want you. They did. Can’t think of a better way to get your self esteem back. Or your sense of high value, which will be all over you like white on rice after such an experience. Women have a sixth sense. Your ex might sense she gave up a good thing, or that maybe you don’t need her as bad as she thought you did when you’re walking around with that spring in your step. Not to be all red pill but that’s introducing some dread into the mix. Keep on doing what you’re doing. You’re about …
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 05:34 PM
2

Hawt
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 04:19 PM
6

*Correction: double teamed by an Aunt and Niece.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 11:18 AM
37

You’re living the dream brother. As you were.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 12:06 AM
1

Give her time? She’ll use that time to make sure she feels secure about the new relationship. Don’t give her that. It’s a fuck yeah or a fuck no. File for divorce, have served and force her out of the affair fog. You can always stop it at any time. You have to be willing to destroy the relationship to save it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 02:15 PM
1

Maybe years down the line. I’m 16 months out and she still feels completely justified even though all the outsiders that know think she’s completely nuts for throwing 18 years and a good marriage with kids away for some dude she hasn’t seen in 15 years and basically doesn’t know. He cheated on his wife but didn’t leave her, so my wife is now a side piece. What a fool. Regret will come with gravity and when her kids resent her years from now and the only thing she has to keep her company is her g…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 01:49 PM
3

All of this 👆🏻. This sums it all up perfectly. You’re trying, like any man would, to apply a logical explanation when there is none. You can’t apply logic to emotion. They’re all crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 01:44 PM
1

Google “the light switch effect”
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 01:38 PM
12

52 going through the same thing right now after 18 years together and two young kids. It’s been brutal, just know you’re not alone in this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 10:38 PM
3

Wow, this was eye opening about my wife.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 04:51 PM
6

I’m going thru divorce now and am thinking the same thing. I’m 52 and as much as I love my kids I don’t think I could raise more from birth. The first few years are tough with babies. That’s for younger men. I’m curious what others experience has been. Can they extract some swimmers for IVF down the line if I somehow miraculously change my mind?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 04:11 PM
12

Depending on your jurisdiction that could be viewed as marital abandonment. You don’t want that when kids are involved.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 02:15 PM
15

Get a voice activated recorder and keep it on you for all interactions. She’ll try to silver bullet you and get you kicked out of your own house with fake domestic violence claims.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 12:33 AM
11

Absolutely get a voice activated recorder YESTERDAY and keep it on you at all times. She will try the silver bullet method and call the cops alleging domestic violence to force you out of the house. I was married 14 years never thought my wife would do so but she did. Thank god my cousin insisted I do the voice activated recorder. It saved my bacon when she tried it and she ended up leaving the house instead. She is not your wife anymore, she is your adversary. Play nice and don’t tip her off. Y…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 12:54 AM
2

Boy I can relate to that statement.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 09:03 PM
11

Be thankful kids aren’t involved. She 100% has monkey branched to another dude, probably a work colleague. Unfortunately women lose respect often when they make more money than their spouse. It sucks but has definitely been my experience and the experience of many others.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:34 PM
3

Thanks for the info. These techniques are useful stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 01:05 AM
1

This
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 12:40 AM
5

Absolute cheating. Probably emotional at first and then once they sealed the deal physically she lost desire to be married. Verbatim what happened to me. This is classic cheater behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 10:51 AM
3

90% there’s another man involved. This happened suddenly to me. It was my wife’s coworker. Talk to a lawyer. Go back to the house immediately and don’t leave overnight again. You’ll lose your kids leaving the marital home. Look up marital abandonment. Carry a voice activated recorder on you at all times because she’ll try to accuse you of DV to get you out of the house. A PI might be in order too. Look up the divorce 180 if you want any shot of saving your marriage. Don’t do the “pick me dance”.…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 10:25 AM
2

Treat her like a queen and she’ll treat you like a pawn. Or something to that effect…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 12:32 AM
2

NC does take infidelity into consideration for alimony. Plus you can sue the affair partner if there is one.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/22 01:38 AM
1

I think this is a great idea. When does it start?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 12:46 PM
3

Welcome to marriage
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/21 03:39 AM
3

Starting over at 51 here. Same situation, but with two young kids in the mix. It’s unbearable at the moment seeing her yet I have to to switch the kids every 3 days. The days she has them she dumps the off with her parents and goes out whoring it up. The days they are with me I spend all of my time with them while she goes out whoring it up more. I’m just free childcare to her now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/21 07:43 AM
1

What a bitch. Nobody deserves that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 02:17 PM
1

Dude I’m in the same situation. 2.5 months in. I’m learning now that rewriting history and gaslighting seem to be common in these situations. You’re not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/21 01:27 AM
1

Two fold they are supposed to be more ruthless in getting their client what they want and they’ll fight harder for custody. At least that’s what many people have told me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/21 07:59 PM
3

I can tell you one thing, she’s going to pay out the ass now because of the way it went down. Would’ve been cheaper to work on our marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/21 02:31 AM
6

Yeah, I stayed at home with the kids because my wife’s career was taking off and I was able to work remotely as a consultant but at reduced hours because the kids were a full time job in itself. Her career took off and she got promotion after promotion while my career floundered. Finally the kids were both in school and I started getting more work and thought it would be my turn to focus on my career and then Covid hit and the kids were back out of school. My company sold because they couldn’t w…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/21 02:28 AM
9

Hang in there dude it’s going to be rough and there is going to be a lot of ups and downs. I can relate. And nobody ever respects what stay at home dads do even though it’s 2021. You’re not alone brother. Hang in there. Hit the gym. Get a female lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/21 02:02 AM
3

My kids are 9 and 6. Every time I pick my kids up from my wife they ask me when we’re all going to be a family again all I can say is I don’t know and that mom and dad are going through a rough patch and that we love them very much and it has nothing to do with them. It’s heartbreaking really. Long term if we do divorce I expect it will effect every relationship they have. That’s why we’re trying to find a good therapist for each of them. Also, bad for my wife because my son overheard us talking…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/21 01:59 AM
8

I’m in the same boat. Stay at home dad, just separated and have been with my kids all day everyday for the past 9 years. It sucks but I’m embracing the days off from the kids by trying to go out and do things I couldn’t do when married. If your STBX is a decent mom your kids will be safe. Although the split will effect them. If you can get them counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/21 01:47 AM
1

First of all lawyer up. Don’t leave the marital home or it will be seen as abandoning the marriage and the child. Lastly depending on laws in your state I suggest you get a digital voice activated recorder and keep it on you whenever you are talking to her. She might try to get you out of the home by saying she’s afraid for her safety. The recorder will protect you in this instance as you’ll be able to prove you were no threat. I never thought my wife would do something like that but she did. Ge…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/21 05:52 PM
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