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captaindestucto Archive

View 10 posts and 2,144 comments by captaindestucto on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

They've been told that talking to girls requires a complicated playbook of signals before they have "consent" just to speak to someone (let alone ask them out). Get it wrong and they're guilty of harassment. Their orientation is pathologized as 'problematic', meaning they second-guess every desire/thought. Staying in and playing RPGs probably seems preferable.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 11:10 PM
–

Or it's because they're living behind screens.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 10:49 AM
–

Misinterpretation and probably a poor choice of words on my part. It's not common to want sex with someone who clearly doesn't want that. And sure, if you'd rather stay in the ideal world where you can soap box rather than the real world. Many women would end up guilty of inappropriate touching if they were expected to initiate. (I've had a few weird, uncomfortable interactions like that, a lot of guys have.)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:49 PM
–

But most men have a script and mindset at the start (we're talking say starting at maybe 15 to 16) that you kind of need to trick or pressure women into bed and so long as they eventually say yes, everything before that is forgotten from the record. That's the attitude of a subsection of entitled arseholes who are typically used to getting what they want, plus the extreme end of Red Pill online. It isn't all that common to want sex with someone who emphatically doesn't want sex with you (not jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:20 PM
–

That's what you're doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:28 PM
–

Because unattractive = "bad person"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:26 PM
–

A large % of men here are beaten down loser virgins who wouldn't have the ability or opportunity for "coercion."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:23 PM
1

Most men don't use game or need seduction advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 03:36 AM
–

You're responsible for what you chose to believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:16 PM
–

Yea in extremely narrow terms, such as mistaken identity/impersonation, the nature of the sex engaged in, bodily harm. That does not include lies about about a person's life/situation, marital status, intentions and so on. I can't find evidence of a country that would define it that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:15 PM
–

As an adult in society, you're responsible for judging whether someone is being honest before having sex with them (or interacting with them at all). Going ahead and having sex with them is therefore consensual. But apparently you don't want the rights/responsibilities of an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:07 PM
–

Men lie about all sorts of things. Their name, being married, their intentions, what they’re looking for, they stealth with condoms, etc etc. Only the last thing is relevant to consent since it relates to sexual contact and potentially causes physical harm (unwanted pregnancy/STD). The rest is a judgement call based on whether you choose to believe they're being honest. You aren't owed honesty and consent doesn't depend on it. Sounds like you're trying to claim that men who lie about their inten…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:45 PM
–

"Informed" as to the type of sexual activity the other person intends to engage in, yeah. "Informed" doesn't mean a guarantee that they're being honest about their intentions in the wider context of a relationship. That's a judgement call you make as an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:42 PM
–

If a man agreed to paying for everything while ignoring red flags, nobody would be buying a victim narrative. He is simply an idiot in that case. Yet women here constantly play victim over doing the equivalent with their bodies.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 10:12 AM
2

Women who bought those books were specifically into the BDSM/dominance aspect. This isn't the Sopranos quality of writing here that one would appreciate without necessarily liking the characters. There's an obvious sexual undercurrent with this kind of content.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:20 AM
2

To be blunt, any man who believes mainstream advice instead of using his observation skills probably deserves to be alone. Anyone can see women are attracted to strength, stoicism and resilience. It doesn't require a new paradigm or framework - it's blatantly obvious when interacting with the opposite sex and the types of men they pair up with.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:05 AM
5

The fact that women are attracted to protection and provision traits doesn't require special 'pill' level insight and it isn't particularly controversial either. Parts of Red Pill rhetoric encourage behaviours that edge on to abuse i.e. negging/dread. You're identifying with the positive (common sense) parts of it. I would change your tag.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 06:50 AM
–

Hmm.... whenever men post pics 'smile more' is one of the first comments that comes up... ^ If I posted a photo like that people would be saying I looked like a psychopath.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 06:02 AM
3

This take is far too rational for the red pill tag.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 05:26 AM
1

I would say the same thing to a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 04:25 AM
2

Less attractive women are exonerated from direct avenues towards finding a partner because their insecurities are judged to matter more than their male counterparts. Even practically deformed men are called losers if they don't act.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 01:00 AM
-1

*A lot* ...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 11:55 AM
2

Don't agree about that though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 09:13 AM
2

The problem is not your appearance per se, which is fine, it's the unkempt hair, the 'dead' expression, and you look really tired. (If you want honesty here.) You could easily attract someone if you improved the way you presented and took a better photo.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 09:07 AM
2

In theory people's desires can change. In reality, settling is something we see everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 09:18 PM
11

Lighting forest fires is a felony. Part of your job is to deal with mundane queries like this and some of the examples - "can't login" "membership defaulted" - wouldn't even have existed decades ago because of technology. Gotta be one of the most bizarre posts ever here.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 02:19 PM
–

Where do you get this figure from? Edited it out because it was misleading. 7-11 years behind women in reported maturity level. 3-4 years behind women in brain development.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 03:22 AM
–

Edited it out because it was misleading. 7-11 years behind women in reported maturity level. 3-4 years behind women in brain development.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 03:18 AM
–

Maybe I'm a bad writer. She was 31, ten years younger at the time (we weren't compatible). However I would never say 'I wish you were younger' to any woman. That would be insanely rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 12:03 AM
–

I mean, I would never say something like that to a hypothetical woman. It's mostly online. To bring this up in real life would be like committing social suicide for me as most of my friends are male feminist/progressive and would probably agree with the age gap hate and judge harshly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 11:16 PM
–

No one here is actually saying it would be immoral for you to date a woman in her 30s are they? Someone in this post said I would be attempting to trick them into a relationship and suck the youth out of them "like a vampire," so yea.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 03:16 PM
–

"It must be what it looks like," is where you get a lot of dumb ideas. Dating a short person makes you a child predator... Wolf whistling at your wife is misogyny, even if she enjoys it... Penetrative sex is inherently violent... Nothing is inherently a problem here though. Whistling at someone is context based. Dating short person - only if you're attracted to child-like qualities. With BDSM, the main distinction in what it looks like and what it's like is that it's consensual. It's causing pai…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:37 PM
–

Not putting themselves in situations where a man has significant leverage over them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:25 PM
–

Whereas when women pursue relationships where they have less power there is not the same possibility or stated desire for exploitation. Maybe they should avoid it on principle.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 01:55 PM
–

Any younger adult who chose to date me would be doing so of their own free will as an uncoerced choice. Gloss over that with personal attacks, but it's still fact. They probably would already have read BS from women like you online, but go ahead, "warn" them. And caring for your little brother, because that's the same as living with someone on the edge of death/palliative care for years and all the stress entailed. And now like a vampire you want to suck youth out of someone else I'm not even lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 01:48 PM
–

And you probably know this: name some things you know deeply that you'd wager most 30 year olds do not know because they simply haven't been around the block enough times in enough ways. I'm sure you can think of several and you admit to not being the most lived 47 year old. Sure, I've accumulated more general knowledge. None of that however is particularly relevant to interpersonal skills within romantic relationships or whatever counts as deep knowledge. What block? Going to work, paying bills…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 01:13 PM
–

After a certain point it isn't the job of society nor the individual to protect you because you have personally chosen to be a dodo bird. No, it isn't. But there's evidence of more inexperienced Gen Z men pushing 30 like this who would probably prefer to date a less experienced 23 yo, and of course they will have to put up with these accusations now over what used to be non-controversial age gaps even just 10 years ago. You may not have the lived dating experience, but much of the dialogue aroun…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 12:47 PM
1

Of course that 40 something can't override my agency as an adult, but she would have advantages with interpersonal skills and decades of life experience in this area vs nothing. Combine that with the difference in general life experience, trajectory, 'been there, done that' vs 'never have' and it's enough to make me uneasy and almost get older figure vibes off these women. But yea I also 100% own the fact that I'm superficial and likely to die alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 11:51 AM
1

It’s also creepy if a 47 yr old virgin woman was demanding... I would never expect someone that age to want to date me. Where did you get that idea?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 10:07 AM
1

No of course you wouldn't because it involves a woman's preference. You probably wouldn't if she wanted to date younger as well, including 20s. I've seen this before, many threads, and people always stop short of calling the woman a creep.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:59 AM
5

Using subjective terms like creepy or weird/abnormal doesn't hold any real content. They're shorthand for "I disapprove because of [insert personal issue/agenda]" And if you think that's creepy then you should absolutely have a problem with a divorced woman out of a 20 year marriage saying she'd prefer a guy with a "clean slate" or someone who is specifically looking for it (because I've had that said to me).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:44 AM
0

I can't be manipulated in a way that crosses serious ethical boundaries - but then neither can the average 25 yo with normal life experience, but I'm damn sure women here would have a problem with that person dating someone significantly older. And yea, I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:27 AM
1

I'm reconciled to that already. Yes 30+ is about being slightly more realistic while ensuring the person isn't some late adolescent with daddy issues (and thereby avoiding any ethical problem). I don't expect younger women to want me however. If I die alone so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 08:15 AM
-2

If they liked the sensation of being hit, pain, then why wouldn't they just hit themselves? Or sleep on a bed of nails? Why put themselves in that situation. Violence is by its nature the exercise of control over another, and this is a simulation of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 08:00 AM
-3

quite the insult to men to say they're so immature don't you think, and I'm curious about the implications of thinking men are this immature, should the age of consent for men be 27 and the drinking and voting age for men be 29? Men and women relative to one another. Women are fully psychologically developed by 32. With men it's about 43. That doesn't mean they aren't sufficiently developed to vote, consent, drink, drive, etc. The BDSM community is very clear on what kind of measures should be t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:20 AM
5

Relax, these women don't want you either. Some of them do though. I've interacted (and been shouted at) by them. How is an anecdote from an obscure subculture applicable at all? It isn't just the subculture. The 50 Shades of Grey franchise has sold over 150 million books. That's approaching the size of Western Europe in sales. The Harry Potter series - the best selling book series in history - is 600 million. The movies grossed over a billion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:34 AM
1

Well then, maybe the so-called left in the US shouldn't have vilified half the electorate? Clueless, immature young men - who are well behind women their ages maturity wise - have been duped into voting against their interests under the guise of anti-feminist or 'pro masculine' movements.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 10:29 PM
–

Any preferences they choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:54 AM
–

Ah yes, 'just go your own damn way already' MGTOW. What a joke that 'movement' was.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:51 AM
1

It kinda does because you were claiming weight has nothing to do with it. If half the population is obese then it doesn't matter if they have attractive bone structures underneath.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 12:39 PM
2

Look up Christian Bale preparing for the role of Dick Cheney. He's unrecognizable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 03:30 AM
6

...but a very large minority did and consequently the gender divide isn't all that large (45% vs 55%)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 03:02 AM
4

45% of women voted Trump in 2024
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:59 PM
1

Men get offended when mid women are attracted to men who are much more attractive than them. Speak for yourself. That's just human nature. Most people want an attractive partner regardless of where they stand.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:42 PM
12

Preferences are discriminatory. The purpose of dating is to discriminate according to preference. It can't be any other way. As long as women don't have a problem with men preferring younger (adult), slimmer, feminine looking women who are physically active and fun to be around - and they often have major problems with this - then I don't judge their preferences for tall, masculine, assertive men. (And it makes zero difference in either case because attraction isn't a negotiation or by edict.)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:17 PM
0

...what?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 10:31 AM
3

It'll affect her ability to relate to people or comfortably interact with men. It'll affect her appearance when drugs/alcohol or overreacting are used as coping strategies for trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:48 AM
0

Yea, they do though, often enough. An in shape but shy (or some other 'defect' western women can't tolerate) man isn't going to be getting an in shape shy woman; he'll be getting used as a punching bag by a now overweight woman with eons of experience over him.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:21 AM
1

The developing world are typically more traditional and expect more money from the ‘exotic Westerner’. At least that's a straightforward expectation. They wouldn't expect men to be 'all things at all times' as per the fantasies of social media addicted qweens in the west.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 11:35 PM
3

The population density in major cities abroad will be similar (sometimes higher) to that of major cities in the US/Europe. Why would being foreign give you a better chance than a citizen ? Explained why. Novelty factor (assuming the man isn't gross). Not being openly contemptuous of women (assuming the guy isn't looking for a servant, just a partner). That would put him ahead of a lot of locals. Does “not being shit tier” equal “genuine desire”? Probably not, but a man's ability to provide a dec…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 11:32 PM
1

It's population in a limited geographic area that you might cross paths with in daily life, not overall population. Population densities are similar. Because their shit tier is different. Because a lot those shit tier men in 'traditional' cultures might not believe in basic human rights for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 11:16 PM
0

Smaller dating pool. Fewer chances in daily life. The exotic/novelty factor can play into a genuine attraction advantage for some men, assuming they meet a looks minimum standard. (Admittedly many passport bros don't.) Women in the US/UK have a burning hatred of shier type men, that doesn't seem to be such a thing with women from other cultures. Other laundry lists of demands from women in the developed world with inflated egos (the simultaneously emotionally available / but still Manly Man 'per…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 11:00 PM
1

75% of women in the US are overweight or obese. Being in the minority of men who are in shape in the US doesn't guarantee and in shape partner because the small dating pool = fewer opportunities.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:43 PM
6

Maybe those men do have options at home. Maybe they're just more attracted to a prettier, younger, slimmer, more feminine looking woman, as opposed to an overweight, unfeminine looking woman (particularly one who is bitter af). Kinda like if there were countries where men were taller/more attractive , women would want to 'passport hoe' there. Melania was 28 when she met Trump BTW.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:24 PM
4

The people discouraging women from approaching are usually man-hating women who consider every man a threat. Nobody normal in 2026 gives a shit if you want to ask men out or hook up.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:35 PM
7

Everything you said is the mirror flip of reality. There's no judgement for women. You can thirst after all the Cavill's and Hemsworth's you want and nobody will label you a "misandrist." What a joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:32 AM
7

Yup. What some guys seem to mistake as friendship is really just staying on polite terms. That isn't the friend zone so much as the 'I don't want to offend you but hope that you dissappear at some point' zone.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:23 AM
6

People break up all the time, people die, people get cheated on. There's no comparison with people who struggle to form one intimate bond with another person over the entire course of their lives, though, is there. And everyone dies. Does that somehow nullify the content of life before they die? If you truly can't be happy without having a romantic partner, you straight up are not going to be a good partner anyway. Meme worthy, cringe tier stuff. Adults should be able to be independent without f…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:42 AM
10

...people are telling OP that trying to meet women that way counts as an evil ulterior motive regardless of outward attitude/actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:30 PM
12

Most people aren't going to be happy when faced with the prospect of being alone for life, so this is essentially 'fake contentment in order to not appear desperate.' Agreed, that's much better than appearing miserable, but it's delusional to think this is anything beyond a front.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:17 PM
0

It isn't worth arguing something so implausible and silly as "women don't have egos."
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:11 AM
-5

Or it's disagreeing to be contrarian, one-up and win arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:08 AM
-1

This is only fair from the perspective of who women choose to date not how they behave towards men they're already involved with. If you entered a restaurant only to see other customers being seated and served ahead of you even though you got there before them, wouldn't you be annoyed? A more relevant analogy would be dating a man who cheaps out the whole time and shows luke warm enthusiasm in comparison to his last gf where he pays for expensive dates/trips. Would you be okay with this? Be hone…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:56 AM
8

Believe it or not, most of us aren't willing to 'do anything' either. I'm also not bothered by lack of partner That's why you're on a sub like this. Like countless other women who say this while posting on relationship subs.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 02:26 AM
18

Lol....The Halo Bias is so strong with these women that they can argue without a hint of self-awareness that attractive = stable, loyal, considerate partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 02:23 AM
–

Endless anecdotes from other guys talking about how women they were dating expected them to just know plus statements from women calling it lame or unmasculine when men ask. It's pretty easy to read hard patterns in behaviour and social norms.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 12:33 AM
2

They also complain about a lack of non sexual touch from their partners - 'every day' casual touching.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 11:37 AM
3

Well, if you're talking about touching someone's naked body then you need to be certain. But every hand on an arm, or arm around a back? What? No. That's removing spontaneity while placing the specter of sexual assault over everything. That sounds awful, as well as incredibly tedious, and I doubt many couples meet that requirement or want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 09:14 AM
2

....oof, sounds awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:33 AM
3

Do you do that every time you touch him?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:24 AM
4

A significantly % of women if not a majority would find it very off-putting if a man they were interested in directly asked for verbal permission to touch/kiss them. "He should just know" etc. Plenty of women don't show enthusiasm as a way to test for interest level, or they grew up within conservative cultures where it isn't the norm. Most women aren't woke or care about any of these legalistic criteria, so take it up with them. How many people even with these politics would ask for verbal perm…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:14 AM
5

Then what - stay single forever? This is the 'mass extinction' advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:05 AM
7

Welcome to the lives of huge numbers of men who have never been on the receiving end of any kind interest from women let alone the pure intentioned, highly invested kind. It was always completely normal/customary to them to receive a lot of attention, validation, and personal interest that was never reciprocated. To be blunt, maybe you were just batting out of your league? That almost sounds like Nice Guy rhetoric.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 06:05 AM
5

Imagine if we said "generic black woman."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 05:44 AM
1

Striking a small conversation is not disregarding women's concerns. Vast amounts of online rhetoric says that approaching someone without clear unambiguous signals (which in reality hardly ever meet that criteria) is already disregarding someone's comfort level.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 08:35 AM
–

.... by not sleeping with him until she has a better gauge on who she's getting involved with? I'm talking months to a year rather than weeks. But then that requires self-control and common sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 08:29 AM
1

I have never met a woman who does. Clearly your experience is pretty limited then. There are women's UFC divisions along with every variety of martial arts and contact sports.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:27 AM
3

Pattern implies a significant percentage. Going by 3 or more gunshot victims (including injured) there are around 600 mass shootings ever year in the US. This is a handful of already mentally unstable individuals over the space of 10 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:00 AM
4

That's a tiny fraction of the mass shootings that happen every year. Nobody is denying men are responsible but focusing on lonely men as a particular threat is dubious.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 04:14 AM
4

Nobody gets to take the moral high ground as far as the nature of desire is concerned. However it's clear many people eventually end up loving one another in a more altruistic sense (not too different from how we might care about blood relatives or very close friends).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:46 AM
8

If you're in the US then the first thing to advocate for is universal health care and better labour laws.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:57 AM
–

Do you jump on every toxic comment from women here?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:32 AM
-2

Society requires soldiers, fireman, policeman etc. to function. Below replacement birthrate is currently being addressed through immigration from high birthrate countries. There's no immediate need to coax people into it, and paying people, while a nice idea, has so far proven to be mostly ineffective because the drop in birthrate is largely for cultural/lifestyle reasons (middle class people who might be able to afford more kids aren't having them).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:27 AM
–

Those men are near universally viewed as assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:00 AM
0

It's the only time men initiate divorce in greater numbers than women and the only time he isn't concerned with alimony, because his wife is dying. That study's been debunked.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:29 PM
25

Society still has an interest in people pairing up, taking out mortgages, having little mini me future taxpayers/consumers, working hard and consuming until they die. I'm not sure the male provider aspect is relevant any more. In most situations both parents have to work, that isn't optional. Female emancipation lowers the cost of labour by doubling the supply - billionaire elites would naturally prefer this over stay-at-home mums becoming the norm again. And even loneliness has economic benefit…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 08:15 AM
2

53% of single young men say that fear of being judged as creepy reduces their likelihood of interacting with women, which correlates with 45% never asking someone out irl and a general increase in singleness. https://datepsychology.com/risk-aversion-and-dating/ Clearly the message needs some fine-tuning.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:36 PM
2

There's several examples just on this OP of people who clearly aren't woke teens. Don't agree that ultimately it doesn't matter. Being labeled something adjacent to a sex offender matters. It just takes one weirdo to unfairly smear a man to his social circle and suddenly he's isolated and in a far worse position. Young men know this, hence why half of them haven't asked a women out in real life (and this isn't even cold approaching just asking in person). They read, they absorb, and this is the …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 01:32 PM
7

Men need to be sufficiently masculine before individual interests or creativity count for anything. It's a prerequisite for attraction, not the only factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:28 AM
6

Being that way themselves doesn't mean they find it attractive in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:16 AM
5

As in, who tf ever even does that shit? You, apparently. You’d have to really fuck up things socially after that if you drop the ball. Makes me think you're lying. You don't have to outright fuck things up with some awful faux pas. All it takes is an awkward smile or fumbled word. And that's assuming compatible personality/opinions. How likely is that with hundreds of interactions? So if the claim is a close to 100% success rate, then I'd say this is either BS or you're getting cut large amounts…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:03 AM
18

Fundamentally, I think trying to conform to hegemonic masculinity is a poor strategy to trying to date women. If women are the choosers, as the Red Pill often attests, then men need to market themselves towards women That's exactly what they're doing by conforming to masculine expectations. The way small businesses achieve success is by finding a niche, There aren't enough "niche" women consumers to go around - women who like shy, passive, unmasculine etc. men. Do you think men would be so keen …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:41 AM
0

I meet people all the time. I'm not even interested in dating. But anyone with common sense would realize that is about religious conversion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:34 AM
12

OP was mainly talking about social spaces, not the supermarket. But imagine being a young man reading these neurotic rants while being told they need to initiate.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:51 AM
5

Comparing women approaching to men approaching automatically invalidates the argument. She invited you to her church. I hate to break it to you but this is 'sharing the gospel' not dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:32 AM
–

Only a small minority of would be defending actual pedophilia (a significant % of pedophiles are women btw) and that gets jumped and condemned immediately in any mainstream space. The problem is "young girls" often means young adult women who are in many cases well into their 20s or even early 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:39 PM
–

JFC where to begin with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:11 PM
–

That sounds reasonable, but many (most) men get zero swipes, zero opportunity to engage/send a message.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:09 PM
–

Um...Wait a minute. Isn't approaching women in bars/clubs without consent (i.e. 100% certainty of mutual interest) tantamount to assault these days? This is what men have been told for quite a few years now. So guys who 'keep it online' are just doing what they're told.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:53 PM
7

The data also shows that both men and women score less on empathy towards men. Men are the disposable sex because we hold less biological value (i.e. we don't bear children) - there's no way around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:32 AM
0

Fantasizing about paragliding is different from fantasizing about sexual assault (or trying to simulate it via a technically consenting action that simulates non-consent). You are turned on by sexual violence, admit it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 12:39 AM
2

There's no disingenuous aspect with that - it isn't perverting something into something else - the point is to dominate your opponent. Sexual violence is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:33 PM
0

Strawmanning to avoid the point. Women who are turned on by and take part in fantasy powerplay sex are damaged hypocrites. Men who take part in it have a very ugly side to them. Healthy people do not enjoy BDSM.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:46 AM
3

Even bdsm erotica. That does not mean she wants to be dominated in bed in real life. It does not mean she wants to be abused. It does not mean she has secret rape fantasies. BDSM is basically simulated abuse. Restraining someone, physically dominating or hitting them implies something done against their will. It being consensual doesn't change the nature of the fantasies driving it. Can you say the same for porn? That there's no coercion and sex trafficking involved? Of course there is, but even…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:41 AM
8

You wouldn't say that about men who desire to dominate women sexually or watch violent porn. "Oh it's only in that context." Being into a sexualized power dynamic says something about someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:16 AM
0

Given the range of denominations and contradicting dogmas, we have no choice but to call anyone who claims to be a Christian a Christian. Similar thing with feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 03:15 AM
-1

They understand it, claim it, and support it when it benefits them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 03:03 AM
-1

It isn't a layman's lack of understanding but a deliberate attempt to cherry pick parts of feminist rhetoric. Educated women who expect 'high value' men to always initiate and pay for everything despite earning decent incomes understand the conflict between the official position and personal preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:59 AM
0

Astrology has zero supporting evidence. Supporting evidence for evo psych includes something as basic as sexual dimorphism.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:30 AM
0

Weight is 99% down to lifestyle choices. It's possible to reduce the likelihood of becoming a single mother (not necessarily blaming all single mothers but there's an aspect of personal agency around this). Normal men don't suddenly stop being attracted to women past 25 or 30. Men's height isn't a choice. Neither is early pattern baldness or innate introversion. Overcoming years of bullying and social isolation is doable but extremely challenging. This isn't comparing like with like.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:57 AM
0

Macken Murphy is a manosphere fraud? https://youtube.com/@murphymacken?si=VwqOLG0RfxryMGop Evo psych concepts have mainstream academic support. If humans selected partners at random our species wouldn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:56 PM
3

Yea my bad, I skimmed a paragraph.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:16 PM
-1

Contemporary third wave feminism could be best summed up by Female Dating Strategy types co-opting it for personal gain. Invoking lack of agency when it's convenient all the while re-enforcing the very things they pretend to criticize at the 'systemic' level (classism/dated gender norms as they pertain to men).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:12 PM
3

The higher standard deviation in male IQ and resulting life outcomes is well known, however I think that downplays a host of social factors and modern dating woes. Women aren't necessarily choosing high IQ men; they're choosing secure, masculine men with social skills who take the initiative. Imagine you're a reasonably intelligent young man who was shy and bullied all through adolescence. You suffered through it with low self-esteem. Now, as a young adult, you're expected to read social cues pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:26 PM
3

It's unlikely that the majority of lonely people are unemployed and lacking in basic hygiene.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 07:07 AM
2

Yet again women here removing agency from other women who knowingly date toxic men. A significant portion don't care as long as the man in question is hot enough, exciting/fun to be around and masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 06:59 AM
–

It's only flattering if they're already attracted to the man in question. Why not just admit that this is the result of halo bias and leave it there? Blaming patriarchy for everything is a lame form of 'toxic femininity' (feigned helplessness, lack of agency).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 01:42 AM
–

Not at all. Most people want options for purely egotistical reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 01:12 AM
2

Right, so all this is about annoyance/disgust at older guys hitting on you. That's fair enough I guess, but there's no need to dump on other people's consensual relationships that have nothing to do with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:30 PM
6

When a man is falsely accused what are the consequences? Not much. Oh I dunno, losing his job, his social circle, being alienated from his family? If you were to limit this to the likelihood of it happening it would be one thing, but to claim there are no consequences when it does happen is absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 09:26 AM
6

Unspoken rules around personal space, dark alleys, and so on govern the extremes of negative behaviour. That doesn't protect someone from accusations, nasty rumours, or uncharitable judgments. If you were to ask a thousand women for the context in which they prefer to be approached/asked out they'll be a thousand different responses, the only consensus being obvious no-no's like groping, leering, following someone, being too persistent etc. (even then persistence isn't always a problem). Yes, me…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 08:49 AM
15

If you're looking for consistency or a global set of rules to follow don't bother: Just don't approach in weird situations (the street or a confined space) and move on when it's clear it isn't mutual.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 04:05 AM
7

That's pretty obvious tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:55 AM
6

The thing with anecdotes is everyone has them. I know two men who married and had families with women 15 years younger than them. These guys weren't even upper-middle class income level at the time let alone wealthy. Clearly their wives didn't get the memo. Raging over the prospect of invisibility, which is something large numbers of men have been struggling with all their lives is giving off strong incel vibes OP. Sorry that you aren't owed a partner when you're 50 but that's a reality we've ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:42 AM
2

Guessing this was the OP
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:23 AM
10

That isn't sugar dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:21 AM
1

I was mainly responding to the false claim that men as a group care more. Most people are aware of correlations between emotional issues, childhood trauma, high partner count and higher divorce rate/relationship instability. The reasoning re pair bonding might be off but the conclusion is still valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:17 PM
0

"More males" as in a fringe group in the manosphere. Yea, okay, I can concede that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 10:10 AM
1

Except men don't care more. If anything they care slightly less. The preference for a lower partner count isn't gendered. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-025-12607-1 To sum up. While there were differences between countries in the size of this effect, in all countries, the more sex partners a person had in the past, the more negatively that person was judged as a good potential spouse. Further, there was little evidence that women were judged more harshly than men. Source Having more than…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 09:40 AM
3

Teen Boys/ young men are about 7-11 years behind girls so that's not surprising. A first relationship is going to have a more profound impact on a less developed brain and personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 09:31 AM
-4

It should be easy enough to filter out the crackpots or maga/far right men. Usually a few messages over dm would be enough. You aren't just filtering that though, obviously, and in certain respects liberal women favour traits more associated with conservatism (good provider, stereotypical masculinity etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:28 PM
2

Society designates 16-17 year old's as children in order to protect them (as it should).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:41 PM
1

Women are generally attracted to protector-provider traits. That could be described as hypergamous because like you said, that often aligns with status, but hypergamy isn't necessary to explain it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:43 AM
14

Teens is dodgy but women shame 35+ men for still being attracted to twenty somethings. A preference for a healthy bmi is framed as a "pedo beauty standard" in some circles. Most of us non-incels are aware women prefer taller masculine type men without blowing a gasket over it - shaming is women's go-to not ours.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:05 AM
1

Ahh yes....wants a rich guy. Why can't women here just be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 09:12 PM
1

Paying for yourself is pretty much the opposite of a transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:01 AM
5

Somme quite absurd claims here. Wanting the respect of other men =/= romantic attraction or even a desire for close friendships. The hell are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 10:59 AM
1

...there's something creepy about measuring enthusiasm that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 12:52 AM
1

..Oh so you'd be paying for the next date? You'd be alternating it... right?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 12:45 AM
8

There isn't enough space in a reddit comment to provide dozens of anecdotes from my life. Suffice to say all it takes is one awkward smile or fumbled word to be judged as creepy or inadequate. Being seen as creepy by women; a loser by other men. No community/group to withdraw back into. Nobody in your corner. Women would lose their minds if they had to experience something like that. This is by all accounts a lesbian woman who didn't even undergo testosterone treatment. Ned passed sufficiently a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 12:35 AM
8

Okay. Tell us how one week as an unattractive man looks like so we know. What do you believe is different? What are your unique struggles we're not experiencing? Unattractive men are threat-profiled in just about every situation AND they're still expected to initiate romantic interactions. Norah Vincent went 'undercover' passing as a man for a year. (Not an ugly man either, but less masculine.) https://youtu.be/0-uv8gT9Kxw?si=42KEghJmp3ivJcE7
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 11:02 PM
21

Yes it must be so horrible to have romantic relationships handed to them on a platter along with all the halo bias of being attractive and a member of the wonderful gender (/s) Compare that to living as an unattractive or unmasculine man with the resulting treatment. Norah Vincent did that and had to check herself into a psychiatric hospital.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:19 PM
2

Honestly still a bit surprising just how focussed they are on that. Also note the not-so-subtle 'if you really liked a woman you'd pay for her' manipulation tactic.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:35 PM
1

It goes without saying that paying for a new acquaintance' s meal has none of the obligations attached to supporting a pregnant partner. You're paying for your meal - not 'the bills' in a shared household - and doing so as presumably an employed self-sufficient adult getting to know another self-sufficient adult. The nature of that connection isn't one where he owes you anything. All men do not collectively owe all women everywhere free meals or free anything. Having children is a choice most of…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:26 PM
1

Which suggests you aren't interested in 50/50 when it comes to time/effort/affection etc. That's why it's a red flag. Most of the time it isn't about the money.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:11 PM
–

It's difficult to see how anarchism solves any of this. Guilt still needs to be established for rehabilitation to happen. The justice system is woefully inadequate when it comes to prosecuting these sort of crimes, but what's the alternative. Rapists aren't going to hand themselves over of their own free will. Rehabilitation and victim support require funding. In a social democracy that's generally paid for with taxes. If someone murdered a relative of mine I would want that individual punished.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 07:41 AM
–

Sounds completely impractical, also good luck selling that to women who have been the victim of SA (or victims of violent crimes in general). We need a centralized state to enforce laws and fund everything that needs funding.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:38 AM
–

Most men are just not going to get romantic love That's some prime cope you've get there... Where do you get the idea that most men aren't dating/in relationships? Maybe there';s more young men in this situation but the majority are still finding an SO eventually. This is trying to universalize despair and loneliness so it doesn't sting so much. We are still outliers.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 02:35 PM
3

Sure, unless being your authentic self means being shy, neurotic, anxious, self-doubting and traumatized by years of bullying or isolation during adolescence. Inauthentic slime balls get into relationships all the time; they're just better at putting on a mask and manipulation. They're more convincing with it. How can you be this clueless about the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:38 PM
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The fact you can't see the hypocrisy in the statement 'don't be creepy, wait until women select you' is pretty funny tbh, as if women hold carte blanche permission to show interest and not be judged the same way, Fact remains women asking men out is still minority behaviour in any space.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:03 AM
2

Can't win. If he doesn't try he's a basement dweller loser who needs to go outside. If he does, he's creeping women out by just being a straight male sharing space with women. I mean how can anyone argue with collectivized blame.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 11:33 AM
3

Experiences in adolescence/early adulthood are critical to the kind of people we become.If you were rejected or isolated at that age you'll carry that with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 11:07 AM
19

He means being top tier in the looks/psychological department. Tall, handsome, outgoing/low neuroticism. In which case it would be better to be in that minority of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:49 PM
4

The things we want are tied to what we currently are so the question doesn't make sense. Obviously as a straight guy I don't find other men attractive and I don't relate to other men the way women relate to one another. Worrying about personal safety/SA would be a huge downside, absolutely. Period pain. Gotta be awful But then weigh that against being accepted in social spaces and general friendlier treatment from people. Not being constantly threat assessed, or coldly judged according to status…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 09:15 PM
1

I didn't say it makes literally no difference, but often it's the difference between miserable and marginally less miserable. Friendships tend to fall away with age despite people's best efforts. It's condescending to argue that inconsistent or infrequent platonic interaction is going to do anything significant to fill a void where a partner/family would be, i.e. make someone 'happy enough' if not entirely fulfilled. And that insulting refrain only gets put to men to get them to stop expressing …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 09:52 PM
3

The last sentence kinda makes sense, but I've always found it weird the idea that someone would choose to spend an hour + with someone they're lukewarm about (at best) just for a free meal, as if being payed for were some oh so important deciding factor. You basically don't like someone in that case.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 10:57 AM
2

Liking cute boys is usually limited to teenage girls. They're non-threatening. You aren't going to find many fully grown women obsessing over male k-pop groups with boyish appearances.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 10:18 AM
1

What country are you in, if you don't mind?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:23 AM
8

You want patriarchy. To be more precise, to cherry pick the aspects that benefit you while doing away with gender norms that harm or inconvenience women. That's mainstream feminism. We'll believe it when women en masse start approaching, dating men who are shorter than them, earn significantly less than them, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 10:28 PM
0

A man can be a confirmed bachelor Lol no.... this is so far off base. Bachelor implies experience and choice. That's a world away from men who have never been able to form an intimate bond with a women. Men who haven't been vouched for via past relationships are typecast in the worst way: pedophiles or other shades of deviant, mentally unbalanced, dangerous, etc. Did you ever see The Lovely Bones? Think George Harvey. Joker is another obvious example. It isn't just 'toxic' men laughing. A large …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 09:19 AM
0

But without it, romantic loneliness is way harder than it needs to be. ...It'll be horrible, friends or no friends. thrive without men and without sex So they claim. Often, a little too loudly, and too often. Most people, when facing a lifetime alone without a partner, aren't going to be "thriving." Also, standards and attraction are absolutely linked. You wouldn't say women who loudly proclaim they'll only ever consider '666 rule' men as just listing what they're attracted to, would you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:05 AM
-1

Standards are distinct from attraction. If a man told you he could only be into hot 25 yo instagram models and no other women could feasibly be attractive, would you believe that was a legit standard or would you think he was being absurdly picky in that case? And here you are with that tired refrain arguing for platonic connections as a substitute for romantic attention (that almost everybody wants), which is something that only gets said to men. Social circle is important but it isn't a substi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 01:38 AM
10

Romantic loneliness is judged differently according to gender. If you're unable to attract a partner then it's the result of cruel beauty standards or creepy users who won't commit. You're still worthy. If we're undesirable then it's 100% personal failure - bad social skills, covert misogyny or just bad looks/genes. We're losers and genetic dead ends. (Which maps to the historical reality of fewer men reproducing.) Given how that's the message, men will be inclined to seek validation from women …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 10:29 PM
0

...So you tell other women to go to the gym/lose weight?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 09:35 PM
1

But we don't? What are you complaining about then? You aren't being "tricked" into sex you're not having, and if you are having it, you're making your own judgement call, just like those men. And yall also are mad at women for treating you on a personal level like we don't trust you I wouldn't be mad that a woman I barely knew didn't completely trust me, including trust me enough for that. What a ridiculous thing to be angry about. You earn that kind of trust. If you as a man is telling me not t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:56 PM
-2

...Or use common sense and not jump in the sack with men they barely know.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:50 PM
–

Seems kinda unlikely that a large % of women are going on dates with men they aren't interested in just to get a free meal.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 11:06 AM
-1

Lying doesn't cancel out consent. You should be aware that some people lie. This is part of existing as an adult in society. Particularly in the early/getting to know one another dating stage. If you choose to believe someone you barely know then you consented to what is effectively taking a gamble. Most decisions are judgement calls and that's certainly what that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 10:23 AM
–

There's no irony, because we aren't a Borg collective. Individuals have different opinions/perspectives. I have contempt for guys who whine over something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 09:22 AM
5

...It's because women used to be economically dependent on men. If the difference between agreeing to a date or not is getting a free meal then you should probably do him a favor and just decline.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:21 AM
3

Nobody is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to have sex early on. Also kind of funny you think men paying is somehow going to filter those guys out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:08 AM
8

Men initiating is expected as a cultural norm. Women openly admit they would never ask a man out, even those they're interested in. They expect the man to do it and if he doesn't then he's not worth their time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:02 AM
2

Who the hell is going to bring this up in a conversation beforehand?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:00 AM
5

It's middle class men who care most about women's incomes.They tend to care about providing opportunities for their kids but aren't wealthy enough to do that on one income. Poor people generally aren't thinking about maximizing opportunity for their kids and the very wealthy don't have that concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 11:00 AM
–

It's a contradiction to be on a dating sub saying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 05:03 AM
–

To whine about how crappy men are as partners while loudly stating how they're not interested anymore. Correct, anyone who really wasn't interested in dating wouldn't be there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 03:28 AM
0

The older 40 + dating subs are full of neurotic middle-aged women raging because now they're having to deal with male level of invisibility. For people who "don't care" about dating they have a lot to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 09:15 PM
3

Seems like you've been watching too many old sitcoms. (The bungling inept husband is a comedy trope, not an ideal.) Women haven't been economically dependent on men for at least 50 years. Applying this to gen x or millennials is peak reddit absurdity. It was easier for men to date in the 90s/2000s because standards were more grounded; people dated within their social network, the apps weren't creating a perception of endless choice, plus there wasn't a hivemind telling women they're all '10s' de…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:54 PM
6

It's worth pointing out that 25-35% of porn consumers in Europe are women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 04:23 AM
1

People can be or appear enthusiastic while still having their decision making affected by a myriad of influences that might not even be known to the other party. However, according to this standard, that is still non-consensual.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:50 AM
1

Lack of sleep... depression.... recovering from a recent breakup. All of this affects decision-making. Defining non-consent as people behaving in ways they otherwise wouldn't is opening a can of worms.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:35 AM
1

You're describing every semi-drunk sexual encounter as probably non-consensual. That's millions of encounters, that most people have had at some point. Alcohol removes inhibitions, it doesn't make you do something you fundamentally don't want or remove critical thinking skills as long as you're still capable of understanding your surroundings. This is why drunk people are still accountable for getting behind the wheel or assaulting someone. Add to that the fact that alcohol is commonly used as a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:19 AM
–

And yet "I want a woman who isn't overweight" = misogyny
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 09:01 PM
1

You're also making a claim without evidence, based off a narrative that can't be assessed or observed in isolation. I'm arguing for what appears more plausible. 60+ years of mainstream feminism without this preference appearing to budge at all suggests it's mostly biology. Women are freer to choose than ever, and yet they choose stoic masculinity every time because the patriarchy brainwashed them into it, despite rigid gender roles being challenged and broken down across other spheres of life. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:38 PM
1

So humans are mildly dimorphic. We observe behavioural differences between men and women relating to hormonal balance. There are differences in brain structure. It would be a huge leap of faith to think biological differences didn't apply to sexual selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 11:22 AM
3

Is evidence required for something as basic as males being the disposable sex? We don't bear children. Men's value in early/pre-human groups would have been tied to protection and provision. Men who showed vulnerability would have been less effective in this role, therefore women would have adapted to filter against it. This of course applies across many species. If you want evidence at the genetic/biological level, look up the inverse relationship between testosterone and oxytocin.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 05:16 AM
1

I was responding to comment that women's messaging behaviour is 'fairer.'
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:05 AM
2

JFC - I'm not using it, the person I'm responding to is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 12:27 AM
3

Do you understand what a non-representative minority is? Those women messaging first would be the most desperate, and they still picked men ahead of the curve (ignoring the bottom half).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 12:25 AM
7

Only 10% of women send opening messages. You're taking about 10%. You can't compare the messaging behaviour of a majority of men and a small non-representative minority of women. Add the fact that the top third of men would be a much smaller number of individuals, given the tighter standard deviation then accounting for age range and geographic area. EDIT: My mistake it's actually 10% of opening messages that are sent by women - but it's still clearly a minority of women who do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 12:06 AM
2

It's a minority of that group. I'm on 'lonely male' spaces. The great majority don't want to take away women's rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 11:56 PM
0

They’re raging at women. A minority are. They’re threatening societal collapse and prophesying the looming dickpocalypse. Pointing out that many men are opting out isn't a threat. They’re harassing women and getting giddy about taking away women’s rights as punishment for being unattracted to unattractive men… Again, loud minority opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 11:48 PM
7

Men don't consider 80% of women "below average"
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 11:38 PM
-1

A lot of "lonely" men are picky, granted. But what are you basing this notion on anyway? "Realistic" options aren't always appealing and there's no reason to think they should be. A large element of attraction is innate, and some appearances just aren't attractive no matter if they're 'realistic' options. If 60% of men looked/smelt like they were homeless would you date one of them? Guessing your would just prefer to remain single in that case. And it's definitely both ways. Many overweight/unfe…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 10:28 PM
2

Objectification involves behaviour i.e. how you treat another person (or speak of them) not private thoughts/fantasies or latent attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 10:55 AM
1

A large % of men's dating problems come down to thirstiness/desperation and a lack of self-respect. Men make dating collectively more difficult for other men through this indiscriminate attention. Boorish creeps - who makes things even worse - get a pass from other men who lack the courage to confront them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 10:43 AM
5

This is such a PPD / no agency woman response. You don't have to withstand anything. You just have to avoid. If something feels off it probably is. The vast majority of abusive people couldn't manipulate themselves out of a paper bag.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 10:36 AM
1

I'm not sure different colleges is a good analogy for this. It's more like throwing a high school graduate into a Civil Engineer's role then expecting them to perform adequately. We're talking about crucial formative experiences that simply didn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 03:55 PM
1

It matters a lot that people who date share values, but hardly at all that they share similar experience. Disagree on that. Experience is part of who we are. It directly impacts our personalities, worldview, values, everything. So I can speak to this directly. I'm a 47 year old virgin who has barely had a date due to mix of personal failure when I was very young, then having to be a caregiver through the rest of my twenties to thirties. I can't say I feel that way at all about women near my age.…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:42 PM
1

Younger is generally more attractive. Every bit of data points to men being most attracted to twenty-somethings regardless of their own ages. And nobody wants to start dating in an older age group. Men who miss out on that in their youth - and it looks there's going to be more than ever - aren't going to relate to middle-aged divorcees as a first gf when they're 35 or 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 12:18 PM
–

Double-speak for a double standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:28 AM
4

Right. It's dishonest, juvenile behaviour. Just ask somebody's political leanings and be done with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:53 AM
7

If it's about screening then maybe ask those questions over DM instead. Dates are meant to be fun while getting to know one another on a casual low stakes basis. Not a series of stare down questions where you shove your politics in someone else's face,
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:16 PM
25

It's putting someone on the spot and moving the date into too much of an interview style interaction. It's also incredibly corny. If you asked me which men I admired I'd cringe and struggle to answer that too. How many people have even thought about this? And now it's clear this person is neurotic and spends way too much time online. so I'd be inclined to end the date there and go enjoy the rest of my night. And it'd be easy for a man to just BS his way through if he wanted anyway. Name a femini…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:11 PM
7

Kind of flies in the face of women here who accuse every red pilled man of advocating coercion. Mature people of whatever viewpoint realize that mutual attraction is absolutely necessary. That said, laundry lists of non-negotiables don't help.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:43 AM
–

We'd expect those problems to stay about where they are not increase. Men have about 10 times the testosterone of women. Inevitably that's going to mean men are more aggressive (not an excuse, a fact of reality).Testosterone also inhibits oxytocin (the bonding hormone) which is partly why men are disinclined to reach out in times of hardship. Testosterone increases when men are stressed. Oxytocin increases when women are stressed. Ending patriarchy tomorrow wouldn't change who/what we are - you …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 10:54 AM
–

The ugly reality is that a man without confidence may as well not be a man at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 09:28 AM
–

"why don't fully functioning adult women not see my manipulative and arrogant behaviour for what it is"'
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 06:33 AM
1

That's the legal definition. But even there things are changing: https://bills.parliament.uk/bills/3196/publications Under this men would need to determine consent before starting a conversation with women in public (and by extension bars and other 'public' social spaces). Then there's the personal definition that leads to men being thrown out of bars with a nod to the bouncer, or complaints to HR (1 in 5 women have made them) or a man being ousted from his social circle because so-and-so is unc…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 11:32 PM
3

She can choose to approach too. Not approaching isn't some kind of static norm. You don't initiate because options appear and because rejection is unpleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 10:24 PM
2

It isn't reasonable when 90% of women expect [the right] men to approach them without putting a foot wrong, while reserving the right to label unwanted interest from the wrong men harassment by simple fact of it being unwanted (regardless of whether anything illegal or seriously concerning has occurred). That would be unreasonable, entitled and obnoxious.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 08:57 AM
1

That's more than just any old subjective opinion isn't it. Like what you think of current music scenes, the likelihood of life existing in Mars, or which football team you support. It affects social norms, which affects everyone,
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 08:51 AM
3

Experiencing life as a low status/unmasculine straight male probably wouldn't be too different from that of other disadvantaged groups, in certain respects. However, how you would identify where the line between average and weak, based on a which metrics is of course impossible. Job quotas and "dating opportunities" lol no. Plenty of "weak" men study and hold decent jobs. Society can't force anyone to date them. It's also exposing such men to more derision and contempt. We all know how much aver…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 02:10 AM
8

Superficial charisma, assertiveness, maybe looks, a facsimile of masculinity some women are susceptible to. Unfortunately there isn't a huge overlap being attractive and being moral. OP will be accused of Nice Guy sentiments.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 01:39 AM
3

Posted this below. It's not an 'online thing.' Nearly half of young men 18-25 have never asked a woman out in real life, with fear of rejection and fear of social consequences being the most common reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 04:03 PM
2

lmoa... Reddit has 1.2 billion monthly users, and that's ignoring other social media platforms where men's dating issues are common topics. Being 20 years old is irrelevant to the content. You'd rather 'diagnose' men who can't easily fit masculine norms as autistic than have any genuine sympathy is how this reads.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 02:07 PM
6

Going by how ubiquitous these issues are - mainstream men's sub/forums where you'll see the same thing frequently brought up - either 70% of the male population is autistic or your male friends aren't a representative sample (or, more likely, not being honest). You might also want to look up Norah Vincent's experience asking women out as 'Ned.'
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 01:26 PM
-3

Western societies need migrants to fill skill shortages from local men 'dropping out.'
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:32 PM
5

Have you asked any men about this? Asking women out is one of the most stressful, terrifying events men go through.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:21 PM
8

You were making the point that men who struggle and seek advice are neurodivergent. I'm responding that these skills aren't easy to learn and don't just come under basic social skills. Evidence being women who approach are often terrible at it, and I highly doubt that's because of autism.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:06 PM
13

Funny. Coming from a member of the group that doesn't need to show interest / initiate for most of their adult lives while relationship opportunities are handed to them on a platter. The women in my age group that have approached me were abrasive, rude, tactless, and/or creepy. Probably because they never had to do it when they were younger. Then bitter and angry af when I wasn't interested. Reading cues, displaying confidence without arrogance, interest without pushiness, 'escalating' without h…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:54 AM
–

Why are these posts continued to be allowed here? With the greatest of respect - get a hobby.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:51 AM
1

Didn't read the article apparently; Although marriage was protective for both men and women from age 65 to 85, the effect was greater for men in absolute values as well as relative percentages Women receive shorter sentences for the same crimes source1 source2 source3 Slightly more work and that equates low stress household tasks to dangerous or hard physical labour in many cases Hasn't applied in the developed world for 40+ years People aren't denying the gap exists, they're denying discriminat…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 08:20 AM
1

The state has the authority to exclusively draft men and take away their rights if they resist. Men's rights are therefore contingent on the possibility of being forced into the field of war. Women's aren't. The closest equivalent would be compelling women to take factory labour jobs, but even in WW2 this wasn't mandatory.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 07:50 AM
1

Honest question: are you attracted to your husband? It sounds like you aren't in the least bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 07:30 AM
–

Red Pill concept. Man ups attractiveness then behaves in a way that suggest he has other options. The fear of losing a man is supposedly meant to increase women's attraction towards him.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:11 AM
–

Even if it works, it doesn't really; It's simulating a betrayal of trust so you can end up in a relationship with no trust. How long can you maintain that front anyway? This is the person you're presumably trying to spend your life with. If you need to employ 'dread' to maintain their interest then that relationship has zero value.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 04:41 AM
1

He doesn't really give a shit about birth rates... Horse has already bolted. There's no way to entice people in the west into having more kids with tax breaks etc. because society no longer holds raising a family as a primary value. People want to enjoy their lives and not be weighed down by having to support 3+ kids. Yes, it's unaffordable for most, but making it affordable wouldn't change anything now. So we rely on importing people from conservative cultures to compensate for declining birth …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 02:54 AM
–

If by consequences you mean comments, harassment, leering, etc. then no, they shouldn't. But plenty of people go beyond that and get upset about other people's private thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 03:45 PM
1

Or use common sense to filter for behaviour and values that align to their long term goal. This is not hard to grasp. pretend to not want to have sex Then you take your chances for short term gratification in that case. Sex is not a need. Unattractive men have this truth shouted at them all the time. You're not owed a world where everybody is honest and you get what you want in a short time frame.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:07 AM
7

If you say that having easy access to a roster of women makes men not want to commit A % of men with options will play the field because they can, not all men with those kinds of options. And obviously this is not the behaviour of average men, whether or not they would/wouldn't. When OP says "most men aren't wiling to commit" she means only those top tier men, because anybody beneath them doesn't count. It downplays the role women have here. I mean what kind of naive person has sex early on in p…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 09:41 AM
1

Yes women naturally carry more fat than men (while still looking normal or slim just by being physically smaller and where it accumulates) but that doesn't explain why men would be okay with 40% + body fat women - and the blunt answer here is that men are just more horny and desperate. 25 percent body are still considered attractive. A man at 25% body fat will have 'padding' around his face and neck that will make him significantly less attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:21 AM
1

It gets complicated because of the difference in desire. Women would be attracted to fewer men all else being equivalent (similar facial structure, similar physical health). Now add obesity in the mix. Overweight people don't necessarily want to date one another but being overweight incurs less of a penalty in women's dating lives. So what you might mean by '7 or 8' is in reality just an in shape woman who would resemble average women 50 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 03:46 AM
4

More examples of the superior gender's classy behaviour. https://youtu.be/2mmIEZKWi3A?si=U53h7Aesl_2MNIvy https://youtu.be/nwilqASK5c0?si=YjLf9aClyfpRSYFr
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 12:16 AM
5

Laughing while exchanging glances like that is clearly mocking someone. How many more of these shall I post? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uf5f622wHY Could be here all day.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:52 PM
5

They were laughing at him not with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:32 PM
7

She’s an American woman. ...And? Those aren't curves, that's obesity, and no most men don't like that and it being unfortunately common doesn't change it. Pretty women who can't/won't take care of themselves don't deserve a 6 foot man who does, I would have thought that was obvious. At least she was polite. And let's ignore the other video of women being outright contemptuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:30 PM
11

Or maybe you want nice personalities, intelligence and empathy while displaying none of those qualities. Anyone can cherry pick videos. Overweight, 4'11, but thinks a polite, well-dressed. in shape average height 5'9 man is too short for her. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/6I7Fc7Rdukw Or the women 3-4 from left outright laughing in this poor guy's face. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/KfuNP7js5K4 Literally dozens of these videos.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:17 PM
16

Being mediocre and wanting someone mediocre isn't being picky. Mediocre women don't "deserve" a 6 figure earning professional any more than schlubby men deserve an Instagram model.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:29 PM
6

As a side-observation, female tourists, or women on work visas coming from mainland Europe are noticeably friendly. That might be selection bias going on with tourists being more outgoing in general but it's very noticeable compared to local women. Like night and day difference. I see them at hobby meetups. They start conversations and talk to you like you're human, and not just in a 'I need information or connections' sort of way. However that's nowhere near as obvious with tourists from the US…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:25 PM
6

There's also a self-selection bias going on here where men who aggressively pursue this are much more likely to appear on women's radars, and so the impression is based largely off them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:25 AM
2

Then they're either a bit dim or trying to get brownie points. If it's the choice between another man or even a group of men, and an aggressive 300 kilo territorial Grizzly, I'm choosing other men every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 11:47 AM
1

Of course, nobody is owed a partner (much less a Government-issued slave). But if you think that a fulfilling personal life isn't an incentive for self-improvement and hard work then you aren't connected to reality. If a large enough % of young men get it in heads early on that they won't ever be able to date/marry/have a family, that will affect general motivation levels in a big chunk of the population, and there will be economic consequences. Almost nobody just wants to self-actualize in thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 08:32 AM
2

Most of the women who claimed they would pick the bear would in reality either be paired up or be willing to 'take the risk' with the right man. The majority of violence is coming from their intimate partners not strangers. We are more likely to be beat up and killed by another man than you are to be SA'd by a rando on a hiking trail. Plenty of us have also been attacked in public before. Yet we don't walk around in a stasis-inducing fear of this. That's where the cynicism comes from. It just se…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 07:32 AM
10

That's the perspective of someone with a full inbox. We understand it's uncomfortable when socially clueless men make it far too obvious when you're just there to relax, but the idea that men can do what you can - broaden their networks in a way that leads to opportunities over the long term isn't realistic for them. It's a damned if you do/don't situation for a lot of guys. If they're too intentional they're being creepy or desperate. If they aren't intentional, they're cowards and losers with …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:55 AM
9

And what if the great majority of people he meets in hobby groups are other guys who might be in similar circumstances to him? (Who might also have few platonic female friends.) It will help broaden his social network without necessarily helping him meet potential dates. OP was spot on about younger women avoiding these spaces, and the men who frequently go to meetups might not have the social connections you're assuming here. Making genuine new friends in your mid 20s onward is a difficult proc…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:41 AM
8

Would you want women to be with men who decided to "aim low?" How much lower anyway. Morbidly obese? Drug addict? Homeless?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:23 PM
–

Women have options to filter. Filtering isn't always pleasant, in fact it can life threatening, but at the end of the process there's at least a reasonable likelihood of a genuine long term relationship. No such light at the end of the tunnel for many men, just more loneliness. Women confide in and find connection with one another. Men bully and humiliate one another. And the further down the totem pole a man is the worse that is. Women's struggles are a societal problem; men's are the result of…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:13 AM
2

Unless the majority of women prioritize that. Then the only choice is conform or remain single forever. It's like telling a morbidly obese person to "just find someone who appreciates you for you" when we all know that drastically cuts down their options to the point where they have no desirable options.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 02:57 AM
1

Children aren't allowed to leave the state of childhood until they're no longer children. Women (at least in the developed world) can ditch femininity whenever they please. Everything you said about femininity being strictly mandated in fact applies to masculinity, which is ruthlessly policed by other men, and straight women in the dating market
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 06:21 PM
1

childhood, like femininity, is a role you can't opt into, only out of. Clearly women who cherry-pick the parts of femininity that suit them almost as casually as a change of outfit didn't get that memo.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 05:13 PM
1

Lol. Showing interest doesn't require 'putting out' or being overt. Men want women to reject them for some time and have sex later. No that's your fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 08:08 AM
1

This is women speaking for men while filtering for traits they desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 08:02 AM
1

As an argument this borders on disturbing. You're basically arguing abuse is necessary to produce resilient, secure adults. It often produces the exact opposite: Emotionally fragile individuals who experience high cortisol 'fight or flight' responses to everyday setbacks (never mind serious stress).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:08 PM
-2

I consider your post ridiculous. But it's also funny how they weaponize their supposed sexual appeal like that at every opportunity while assigning men's value to whether they can get laid or not, as if everything's about sex and who is/isn't attractive to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:56 AM
1

In most cases it wouldn't really be forgiveness, it would be out of desperation and fear of being alone, It isn't worthy of respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:06 PM
12

They'll always be a minimum base level of male virgins who are too shy/traumatized to date. Now add, mixed messages "don't bother women" vs " stop being a coward, get out there and talk to women loser!" Less/no pressure for women to settle any more. Suppressed wages and higher cost of living. Declining range of socially acceptable real life situations. Flatlining testosterone levels. Extended adolescence. Gaming/porn/distractions/etc. It's a range of reasons from biological to societal.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:07 AM
3

She's deceiving him while relegating him to a loveless/dead bedroom relationship when he could in theory find someone else. Unless both parties are clear on the arrangement beforehand, that counts as wronging somebody.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:49 AM
3

Men have to initiate, display confidence, read cues, be charismatic/funny, develop a well-attuned social awareness, take the lead in the interaction while taking rejection on the chin. Shy women generally get away with being social wallflowers. For a lack of confidence to affect their dating life it has to be extreme to the point where they withdraw entirely (never leave the house or never socialize in mixed company). Yes, there are women like this, but it's rare. Not really comparable.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:55 AM
4

Feedback is for when there's a way forward or out of a situation. There's nothing to be learned from someone having a target drawn upon them, where they are simply 'the loser' , or the universally agreed upon punching bag to all and sundry in a situation for 6-8 hours a day. You're equating bullying to teenage growing pains or harmless joshing and I suspect you wouldn't be if the topic were bullying aimed at girls instead of boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 02:12 PM
1

I’d argue job interviews are harder as well because they don’t come as frequently I mean, you get to practice in front of others. You could probably pay someone. These days, probably an AI. Where I think you’re overlooking reality is the asymmetry in incentives.... Expectations, and yes of course I'm aware of the gender script. But when more is expected then there's more potential for something to go badly awry.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:28 PM
1

Second, women struggling doesn’t contradict my point... They aren't struggling to the same degree with this because they aren't judged by the same criteria. Men typically aren't put off by social avoidance the way women are. You know this... I bombed a job interview The fact is you get to practice at something like a job interview in a way that's impossible (or pushes across boundaries) if you were to try to 'practice' with the opposite sex. And the obesity analogy wasn’t about genetics literall…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:47 PM
10

The necessity of relying on men, not the desire to be provided for. It's that necessity that would have allowed avoidant 'nice enough is good enough' types of men to get married and have families up until the mid-late twentieth century. But it's also probably the case that men who are ruthlessly targeted by other men are more likely to be underachievers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:31 PM
1

To be clear I didn't say anything about shy avoidant men being "good" i.e. deserving - but if you're going to make value judgements based on this then the majority of women would likely fail at being "good" here. they’re probably going to struggle in dating. But they’re also going to struggle in friendships, networking, interviews, leadership, confidence, career growth, conflict resolution, and a lot of other areas of life too. Not necessarily. Dating is a very particular kind of social interact…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:21 PM
17

Lol...We've known that for decades. The problem is also the many women who endorse the worst types of behavior with their affections. No violent bully I've crossed paths with has had trouble dating. Most of them are married with kids now.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:49 AM
2

The one aspect that ties men who succeed with women together is masculinity i.e. protector/provider traits, and none of this is messy when you understand that. This is how abusers find partners (overconfident, overbearing and sometimes superficial charismatic), This is how conventionally unattractive men can still find partners (they compensate hard with assertiveness). Even deadbeats with nothing else going for them will be found attractive by some women if they're confident enough. This is als…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:20 AM
4

Most cases involve knowingly and willfully ignoring easily readable cues in the other person, because it feels good to get that kind of attention in the short term. Nobody put a gun to women's heads and made them fall for "love bombing" or sleazy surface level charisma, and nobody forces men to fall for hot instagram model appearances. We're responsible for who we invest our time in and infantilizing other adults does nothing but remove accountability for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:43 AM
0

Then, clearly, there is no need for prenups or paternity tests Agreed. The majority of abusers/users are terrible at hiding it. For the poor saps who don't, they should be held accountable and simply choose better. Correct. So we're in agreement then OP: people are accountable for who they pair up with.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:25 AM
27

A tenet of TRP is that a "deep connection" depends on the man maintaining his dominant/masculine status in the relationship. Hence red pillers here would argue the long term viability of a relationship depends on something close to the opposite of what you describe - not teamwork but the man leading in a trad sense. (Not agreeing with it, just re-stating.)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:29 AM
11

Yea that's not the point. These men aren't approaching because they're afraid of the social consequences, due in large part to online rhetoric they've had shouted at them through their formative years.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 11:08 AM
17

Almost half of Gen Z men have never approached/asked out a woman irl. How are they being creepy? Try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 08:44 AM
21

Men have been told not to "bother" women. That's it. As a RP woman your opinions differ drastically to the messages men have been receiving (and internalizing) for decades now.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:57 PM
0

It only applies to the popular, attractive 'eligible' bachelor with a large social network to vouch for him. Try fitting in with an established friend group of couples as an average or below single male. Older, unattractive, never-married men get typecast as perverts or predators. Think Joker.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 10:59 AM
–

Funny because the above commenter and many more here would jump to immediately labeling a man a creep if he got it wrong and showed unwanted interest in those situations. ("You crossed a boundary! Learn to read to read signals better, loser. Women can't exist anywhere!") OLD sucks but at least nobody can have you dumped from a social circle/group for liking their profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:56 AM
0

It hasn't been hard for women to get an education for generations, and being able to live independently doesn't require equal representation across every part of the economy. 40-50 years ago isn't recent, that's 2-3 generations. The idea that men are still socialized to expect a wife is silly. You could have argued that in 1976, not 2026. That idea that women even up until the 2000s were settling for men they didn't like at all because of social pressure to get married is even more absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 11:59 AM
0

It wouldn't have been much more difficult than an average semi-skilled working class male supporting himself. And are you seriously arguing this was the case in the 80s and 90s? Women in my generation were not raised to believe they had to be married by 21 or that their value depended on being chosen by a man. Outside of religious communities. that kind of pressure hasn't been mainstream in a long time. This is deflection from the actual reasons for the so-called dating drought and marriage/birt…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 12:01 PM
6

Free enough to support themselves without being involved with a man. This is the pertinent point. Women have been free enough for at least 3 generations. Young men would have gotten the idea they needed to do more than just exist with a job for a similar timespan. As an adolescent in the 90s and a young adult in the 2000s I never once got the impression I was going to be getting a wife issued to me at some point. It was always about being attractive and having decent social skills. Exceptions fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 11:18 AM
1

Aging is quite literally cell damage/deleterious genetic mutations and a drop in fertility. There's no reason to 'adjust' beyond a certain point unless you're aging with someone in a bonded relationship. It is just a drop in attractiveness otherwise. The milf porn thing usually involves older women who are conventionally attractive by every other metric (thin and feminine) so that doesn't really track with broadening preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:51 PM
5

You're implying this behavior is entirely faulty logic/attitude, as if men competing to be 'chosen' weren't the default biological state of things. A disparity of desire exists for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:16 PM
2

Incredible. 30+ man saying this would be labelled a predator, even a pedophile.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:00 AM
–

Perhaps.... But the 'tried it once and didn't like it' explanation seems most likely. Not that there needs to be an explanation because frankly nobody is obligated to discuss this with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:19 PM
–

More than half of women in the US are overweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 11:10 AM
–

Dysgenic in modern society not the environments in which we evolved.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:59 AM
–

Cosplay as a man Lilith, then politely state those or any other reasonable preference on dating themed subreddits, see the kinds of reactions you get. There is no nice-enough way for us to say it. The men who do, tend not to care about how they're perceived or hurting anyone's feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:17 AM
1

And there'd probably be a similar percentage who think a man isn't interested enough unless he's practically hounding them and would rather things end than initiate a message once-in-a-while.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 11:26 AM
–

"men I'm not attracted to are also the worst kinds of people" post #543678 from women here. I would not call them underdogs either, but dominating, to other men as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 01:48 AM
3

Having been in the vicinity of men who were abusive towards their partners, 'superficial charm' isn't the first term that springs to mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 05:38 AM
1

Did you seriously jump to accusing OP of being a rapist because his experience doesn't re-enforce your divorced from reality ideals around how people should communicate? The percentage of women who expect men to 'just know' and get turned off by verbalizing or consider being asked unmanly/lame would be significant enough. In any case, it would be a minority who discuss things in that kind of detail with someone they don't know well. I've never heard of it. Consent usually gets implied through bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 03:44 PM
5

Reverse the sexes and every woman here would be 100% supporting this without any qualifiers. Nexting bad-in-bed "trash" men is celebrated.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:06 AM
–

It's kinda easy to say this when you already have a full inbox, a plethora of dating options literally at your fingertips. Remaining single hits differently for someone who has no perceivable options and no choice in the matter. But yea, a social circle is a gateway to relationships for most people and necessary for mental well being.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 12:06 AM
–

JFC give the hyperbole a rest. For eugenics to be a thing, people have to be reproducing. Your so-called "feminst fascistas" are choosing not to have kids rather than pair up with men below their standards. Meaning overall lower birthrate. But there's nothing authoritarian about it. They aren't preventing you from having kids with (other) women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:56 PM
–

Preferences aren't the same as acting on urges.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:13 AM
–

Except women still desire many of the traits associated with needing protection and provision, and admit it over and over again.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:12 AM
–

That biologically and socially we are different. So your biology means you can't be expected to deal with the anxiety of approaching and shame of rejection. But if we talked about our "biological norm" to find slim conventionally attractive women in their 20s most attractive, or find women who are stereotypically feminine in behaviour more appealing, surprise, there's an issue. That just seeing an attractive guy doesn’t mean that we are attracted to them. Having seen women frequently stare/oggle…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 10:17 AM
6

Hoeflation is crude and childish, but prey tell what's the polite term for mediocre women's entitlement to top tier men? (Women who BTW pass on their genes just as much as their male counterparts as you kinda acknowledge there, condemning their sons in particular to lives of romantic struggles or increasingly total exclusion.) And maybe you don't get to take moral high ground offence over that while referring to the opposite sex's "shit genetics".... Women in the developed world haven't been coe…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:27 PM
–

Yup
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 12:16 PM
–

Lol are you seriously comparing a strip joint to dating/relationships? Weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 06:36 AM
–

Most would be easy enough to spot, Any man who wants to get physical early on. Turns on the charm. Says what you want to hear. Won't discuss his past. Not having sexy time within the first few months would filter out 90% of those, but then that would require self-control.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:35 AM
–

And men are responsible for choosing the women they choose... Yes they are. 100% their problem. Nobody is trying remove agency from men who choose poorly though. I don't get this relentless need to infantilize other women. It should be easy enough to spot a player. Any man who wants sex early on should be an automatic red flag to anyone capable of basic common sense. Doesn't matter is he's charming, oh-so convincing and "nice" about it: If you're being "seduced" by such men then you take your ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 12:15 AM
–

Of course men don't know that and no-one would reasonably assume it unless it were blatantly obvious (a 25 yo Instagram model dating a schlubby 50 year old man with $ for example). You're comparing this to women who would know or strongly suspect they're being lied to. It isn't hard to filter out players. Majority of men who try to get sex early on aren't interested in long term. This is a common sense observation . Take responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:13 PM
–

No not responsible for male behavior. Responsible for choosing those men. Reponsible for overlooking the obvious or being attracted to it. What about this is hard to understand?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:04 PM
–

Or you're removing moral agency around something that is unflattering. 'Low self-esteem/patriarchy brainwashed me into it' is pretty lame when you consider how relationships are in no way mandatory and feminism is the dominant narrative.Women aren't forced to pair with men, so why would they willing to tolerate this if they weren't either happy enough to overlook it, or on some level found it appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 08:37 PM
–

"Karen" originally meant an older, racist white woman with white privilege who might 'call the cops' on racial minorities over some minor annoyance. Debasing the term by using it to mean any vaguely attractive women reaching 40 is a bit pathetic tbh. I don't think the behaviour described is anywhere near as common as made out (just as violent men are still the smallish minority). Men are not prepared for aging any more than women. There is no preparing for it. It's just as depressing, as brutal,…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 10:44 AM
1

Let's play Occum's razor - do you think all women in the age range of 25-35 are incapable of love? No I wasn't agreeing the with the OP. Assuming he's half as successful with women as he's claiming, he has probably done what he accuses younger women of doing, and that's why he's alone. Either that or he has some major personality issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 07:39 AM
10

Any man who is good looking, successful with women, and also financially successful but can't find a woman who loves him? Looks and financial success are desirable traits. That's what attracts most women, okay fine, but it isn't love any more than wanting a "hot young thing" to have kids with.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 12:53 PM
–

Where's the debate and what the hell is a sigma man supposed to be anyway?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 11:46 AM
–

Yea you double down on the same inane point without bothering to comprehend any other apparently. Men in the dating arena aren't paying for one woman - and btw if you want to use that as evidence for future support then it'll need to a lot more than $20 - they're paying for potentially dozens of women over possibly hundreds of dates. Young men who are struggling to make rent like a lot of young people. In that context it isn't reasonable at all. FFS People don't get married at 21 anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 12:15 PM
–

He isn't dating the mother of his children, he's dating a new acquaintance who may not even have any intent to settle down in the near future. The major earning disparity is in the older age groups. Young women are out-earning men across many major cities, The average 20-29 yo man is only making around 30k (let;s make it 40k factoring out college students). Our grandfathers in many cases would have married their high school sweethearts with a very limited courtship window. Now men are expected t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 11:38 AM
–

So by that standard women who earn more than their dates should pay their for dates, and women who don't want children should be fine with going dutch since we're all employed adults here. Supporting children is very different from paying for dates with strangers
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 10:54 AM
–

If you make a point of offering to pay for yourself while holding a different ideal and expecting he should override you if he wants to see you again, then that reads like a test, doesn't it? Plenty of men who might have paid would simply take you at your word, assuming you genuinely preferred it that way. particularly since women online frequently say they pay to avoid men who feel entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 10:52 AM
–

So it's a warped kind of test in other words.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 04:59 AM
0

The reason men don't like the extreme "pick me" self-debasing types is that, along with it being unsettling, such a person isn't someone you can form a real bond with. They don't like you as an individual, they're just looking to fill a void in themselves, and that's someone you can't trust. That said, it's funny how so many women think men place high value on a "challenge" as if interactions are only enjoyable when there's conflict, something to prove or some mystery to decode (about them of co…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 05:24 AM
2

A large black or grizzly bear in the wild is much more likely to attack you than a strange man you're alone with. Surely you realize that statistically means per encounter? In which case it's not even close. you seem to be of the belief that people somehow get facts about the person their potentially dating before they pick them. AKA getting to know someone during dating. Asking normal questions. Judging their responses, including any evasiveness. Getting an idea of their values. Normal vetting …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 02:06 AM
26

Or you could just admit that you want an attractive man and stop rationalizing it as "men I don't want are just as bad/entitled" or whatnot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 01:16 AM
7

You either don't understand what coercion is or are using the word for impact's sake. It's generally understood to involve persistent badgering, wearing down, and/or the use of emotional or material leverage to manipulate someone. Asking once and the other person half-heartedly agreeing doesn't count (whatever else that might be).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 11:04 PM
1

Do you check to see if they're enthusiastic or just assume it? (Because 'men are up for anything.')
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 10:28 PM
1

Blue pill typically downplays how men and women relate as men and women not just as beings who happen to be male/female. The importance of looks/physical attraction is usually downplayed too if not outright denied. Being a 'good partner' is framed as being attentive and emotionally available at all times, ignoring the fact that this can destroy attraction. Much of mainstream advice is terrible advice for young men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 11:01 AM
24

JFC the selective puritanism from women on this sub. A young man slept around. Oh, the horror. Women frequently ask men to perform oral sex on them. That's seen as almost necessary now for men to be good partners (no-one bothers to ask if men enjoy it).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 09:10 AM
3

Have the women you're denying have agency asked anyone out in their entire lives?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:56 AM
4

They don't have to pick anyone. Yes I blame them for poor choices because people are responsible for their choices. It's only a problem if you think women are default entitled to decent options, including women who are losers by the same standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:08 AM
–

And that women should take their time, months even, before having sex with a man. That's what anyone looking for a long term relationship should do. Thank you for confirming that a subsection of women can't use common sense and won't take responsibility for their choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 02:13 AM
–

...you chose to believe them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 01:19 AM
–

You're responsible for believing them or not, just like men are responsible for not being strung along and used financially. If someone wants sex early on, chances are they aren't interested in anything long term. This is basically common sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 01:17 AM
3

It is absolutely a case of tough shit/deal with it when they choose to date losers, or men out of their league who won't commit. Or does agency somehow not apply then?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 10:31 PM
1

Cold approaching somewhat grows due to declining third spaces as the large minority who do still try and date become more desperate for whatever methods they can. And unfortunately it'll mostly be the clueless, boorish sort of guys who don't care about boundaries 'representing' men here, whereas the self-aware will hang back. That'll just worsen gender relations.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:06 AM
9

While simultaneously framing men’s standards as lenient and “just biology” (even when making such claims as “women expire by 25” and calling the average woman in the US a “landwhale”). Maybe the red pill says this, but red pill is still fringe and well outside the Overton window. In mainstream discourse men's preferences are always framed as a problem of misogyny. There is quite literally no preference that we could express, in the mildest of terms, while being backed into a corner, without accu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 05:36 AM
1

Admitting women are impressed by that in other words.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:41 PM
3

No it's not a meritocracy, and women should not be forced to date/marry "good" men. but what happens when a growing % of men are cut out of dating completely? Are those men just going to be good sterile worker drones, working away in the background, creating a safe and functional society for everyone else, while women cycle through the men they find most exciting/attractive, and on top of everything else those invisible men have to subsidize the social fallout of that? Or are they going to give …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:00 PM
2

Fuck it in your case means staying single, whining on forums about low value men or the losers you wasted your youth on while still having access to casual hookups or fwb if you wanted. Fuck it in men's case means we no longer have running water, power and broadband in our homes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 11:55 AM
-5

To be fair, it's part of the gym, not the entire gym. A designated women's area has been a part of my university gym for years, and some commercial chains have them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/04/26 05:15 AM
1

You realize they still have to gain industry qualifications in most cases? Usually while working full time. As someone who has a degree and works a mid-level office role, I can assure you anyone within one standard deviation below average intelligence could function in this kind of role. I've worked with people who lacked basic computer literacy and couldn't write a coherent email to save their lives. The idea someone this mediocre is somehow more 'viable' than a building site agent who learnt o…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 06:10 AM
1

Working class men, obviously. They're the reason you have running water, electricity and broadband available in your apartment, yet you think a undergrad in psychology and a mid-tier office role places women in a higher category. The class snobbery of mediocre women doing equally mundane tasks is a big part of the 'dating drought.'
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:11 AM
1

Lol... that's really panning out isn't it. Gen Z earn less in real terms than people in the 70s. We need immigrants, but immigrants come from cultures with higher birth rates.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 10:44 PM
1

We need replacement. ...Who's going to subsidize your retirement?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 10:20 PM
3

Women don't approach because they know or expect that there's a social norm in place for men to do it, not because they don't want relationships. Strange men approaching them aren't going to make them want something they already don't want or feel indifferent towards. What kind of absurd logic is that? And considering the risk to personal safety dating involves for women, if they were really happy alone most of them wouldn't be open to dating at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 09:12 AM
4

"Man up, stop being a pussy, blah blah"
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 08:59 AM
2

. I also don't see how that's really the case when there is plenty of women that enjoy circumcised penises? And some even PREFER them? This is a really bad argument for why something is 'not as bad.'
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 01:13 AM
4

It isn't really a "kernel" so much as a blatantly obvious truth no-one else is saying. Feminism - in as far as what it says about what women want in a partner, is phony propaganda. The majority of women desire the same masculine archetype including some of the so-called toxic elements. Stoicism. Assertiveness. A certain degree of arrogance and overconfidence. Standard protection and provision traits. Telling men anything else is setting them up for failure and frustration. Pointing this out is c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:38 PM
4

*participation trophy
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:06 PM
2

Until the point of demographic collapse is reached requiring immigrants from socially conservative cultures to keep western nations afloat (both in terms of birthrate and work ethic). Things were “going along well for men,” but they weren’t for women Both men are women had their respective roles forced on them. But then rates of depression and suicide were also much lower. And plenty of childless women will be waking up at 35 now only to realize that corporate job wasn't as fulfilling as they th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:03 PM
24

Both are wrong but female circumcision is clearly much worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 09:34 AM
2

A lot of people who want trad arrangements aren't trad. It's either red pillers who don't earn enough or would run screaming from the responsibilities of their grandfathers, or it's female dating strategy sociopath women who expect men to fund their lifestyles but have no interest in motherhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:48 AM
9

The way the dating market is, fit men who are average in other areas are considered picky if they want fit women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 07:05 AM
1

Trump and adjacent right wing governments have had something to do with recent decline, but the overall pattern in the last 50 years is still there.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:08 AM
14

As someone else said, being in shape and wanting someone a similar age who also isn't obese isn't a high standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:16 AM
16

Taking the bait.... Preferring someone you can feel some physical attraction to? Oh no. The horror. Someone inform The Church Elders. Everyone wants attractive partners. It doesn't need stating because it's obvious. Most obese single mothers wouldn't want short, shy, balding men either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 03:24 AM
15

Absurd statement that also nullifies your argument. Marriage isn't getting better - it's getting rarer and impractical.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 01:06 AM
0

Sure. https://www.migrationpolicy.org/programs/data-hub/charts/immigrant-population-over-time Immigrants as a % of the US population is at about the same level as it was in the mid-late 19th/early 20th century when migrants from Ireland and mainland Europe flooded into North America. Including first generation children born to immigrants would make the figure even higher. Progressivism is unsustainable, so it requires supplementing from an external source.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:55 PM
-3

Most western nations are having to rely on migrants from socially conservative cultures to 'prop up the system', both in terms of birthrates and filling skills shortages that could have been filled by young people (*ahem young men...) Which points to an uncomfortable truth that dating purely for personal happiness isn't all that great from a wider societal perspective. Also ignores all the miserable singles aging alone on antidepressants, who might still have been better off married.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:14 PM
14

It makes sense that straight womens' desires would be patterned around men being the active party leading the interaction, given historical gender/sex roles. Just about any form of romance narrative aimed at a female audience has male = active as the basis for the interaction. Extreme examples such as Fifty Shades of Grey etc. The only medium where women/girls like shy, socially avoidant dorks is anime, and the kind of anime that clearly isn't intended for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:04 PM
0

It's the appeal of masculinity however you want to define it. Whether it's obnoxious, overbearing, aggressive, or just assertive - those kind of men make better protectors/providers than shy, self-effacing men who don't push their personal interests out into the world. So go ahead and claim you're looking for a cuddly feminist-approved version of a dominant manly man. You kind of have to say that anyway. But maybe use another adjective because "dominant" clearly means something else to most peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:42 AM
3

Being surrounded by your peer group in college or in fun 20 something social circles vs being isolated, with limited time and overwhelmed by work in your 30s Having energy/hormones/youth on your side vs people letting themselves go and generally being less attractive (this goes for both sexes) Plenty of options vs vastly fewer options, with many of those being mentally unwell, obnoxious and single for good reason 'leftovers' Carefree stage of life with plenty of spare time vs older adult respons…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:50 AM
1

There's no such thing as "regular masculinity." Masculinity was always built around protection and provision. The suppression of vulnerability is required to perform those roles. Remove that and all that's left are generic positive traits that have no particular gender aspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:27 AM
2

It's not just teens/early twenties. A 40 yo man dating a 30 yo woman gets flak for it from 40 yo women. Women who can't stand the drop in power/dating privileges make an issue out of any older male age gap relationship, and the butthurt rage at having to experience life as huge numbers of men have always experienced it is incredibly obvious, and also kind of funny tbh...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:39 AM
1

It doesn't matter how you think the world and gender dynamics should operate. We want what we want. and a good deal of that is innate. Question: what do you think would be left if the so-called toxic aspects of masculinity were to dissappear overnight? How would masculinity be distinct from femininity in that case?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:20 AM
3

I can't help wondering how this would play out for very romantically inexperienced people, who would be drastically shrinking their dating pool by outing themselves like this. What about childhood trauma? Messed up 'attachment style'? History of depression or other mental illness? There's no end to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 02:09 PM
3

Women dump their emotions on others. It's just framed differently. A sexual preference for conventional 'stoic' masculinity is what is driving this contempt or discomfort.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 12:18 AM
5

It's a "basic social skill" because it's not required of her...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 12:03 AM
5

We don't expect anything to be fixed. You're just rephrasing the same emotional release valve type behaviour in a way that makes women seem better adjusted. The only difference is to do with frequency. Women regularly "dump" their emotions on friends/family while expecting and receiving empathy. Whereas guys usually have to bottle it up and then the "dumping" is an all-at-once event.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 12:00 AM
2

"Express emotions, just not in a way that makes me uncomfortable"
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 11:53 PM
10

...women reward that behavior by dating the kind of guys who call other men "faggot"
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 09:44 AM
18

It's worsening things if anything Hostility towards male weakness won't lessen due to 'exposure.' Now it's normal to reflexively label any lonely man a toxic incel if he dares talk about his situation, even in very moderate terms. I don't remember these intensely hostile reactions even 10 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 09:10 AM
1

"Empowerment" was never a valid point to start with. Women doing OF don't get to complain over objectification while simultaneously contributing towards it and profiting from it. That's obviously hypocritical. Particularly when there's reasonable alternatives, like, ya know, getting a normal job like most people have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:12 AM
2

You wouldn't apply that across the board. For example, describing violent criminality as a problem originating with wealth disparity, which is partly true, but ignores the fact it's men responsible for the great majority of it. Pointing out patterns is just that. Women usually don't date down, neither in terms of class or economic status, regardless of their own circumstances. Framing it as blaming women when pointing it out (among other things) doesn't negate it. It would remain a factor if ave…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 12:57 AM
0

Obviously he means paid employment. More people flooding the labour market = suppressed bargaining power, wages and conditions for workers. More independent earners living alone = more consumers, more renters seeking accommodation etc. Female emancipation is very pro-capitalist in certain respects, which is why neo-liberal free market types are usually socially liberal.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 12:05 AM
1

There is some correlation. Western society has been capitalist for many decades, but wealth inequality has never been more extreme under this model. Home ownership is a now a far-off dream for many 20 or even 30 somethings. Median income men who might still struggle to meet their rent and car repayments aren't necessarily going to be an appealing prospect for women, particularly if those women see the point of a monogamous relationship being tied to having a family.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 11:53 PM
19

Part of the appeal would be (the right) man being the active party, no doubt. That's the reality progressives won't/can't acknowledge. Every form of social conditioning around gender could change, but the innate traits that make men and women different in behaviour/desire will not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 04:28 AM
7

Anyway, men would just complain about being approached by women they don't want if things were reversed. LOL. Average men are desperate for any validation. They would take it as an ego boost, including from women they weren't interested in. Sure, if it were happening a lot it might become aggravating, but that reflexive fear and disgust women feel towards men they aren't attracted to doesn't apply the same way here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 11:08 PM
2

I said we don't know. I'll call out any man who does that. But that's not the issue. If she can't emotionally regulate enough to realize the boy she's raising isn't his father then it's better for all concerned to put that child up for foster care.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:33 AM
8

a/we don't know if the father abandoned them b/ being pissed at men doesn't justify emotional negligence
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:23 AM
9

Because women taking their issues with the father out on a boy is fine, right? No agency free-pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:14 AM
2

Sex work is a form of social work. Paid sex isn't "social work." Those kids will have trauma. Hope the money was worth it...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 05:52 AM
0

kind of sounds like you want women to show their gratitude to men as a whole though sex and relationships. No that's not a valid expectation, but it still leaves the problem of incentives. If enough men get it in their heads from an early age that they are undatable losers that have zero worth to women, they won't be as motivated to work in demanding fields, might just coast in easier jobs or go NEET, because that's how humans operate. We need reasons to put in effort that go beyond simple job s…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:42 PM
-3

If they were so happy single they wouldn't be loudly proclaiming it online at every opportunity. Happy people get on with their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:58 PM
9

Men form the great majority of STEM/ engineering graduates, account for 90% of workplace fatalities, pay the majority of tax. The majority of critical services, infrastructure and utilities we rely on are made possible by men, often blue collar men who are increasingly considered 'undatable' and labeled toxic by feminists because they didn't attend a high ranking college. They'd be no running water without them. Of course none of that entitles someone to romantic attention, a partner, 2.4 kids, …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:53 PM
31

If you want to argue for inherent value based on your body then don't get offended if you're valued solely for your body.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 11:04 AM
1

Would do is more relevant than could do. If you were comparing the experience of being sexually assaulted/murdered by a man vs killed by a wild animal that would be one thing. Plenty of women in that case would choose the latter because it involves less humiliation/degradation. But in the scenario of being on a trail with a man vs bear being attacked by either isn't a given so the likelihood is kinda relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:06 AM
5

I'd wonder why she felt the need to suck off some rappers. That's being crude about it, but yea. It's far worse than a long string of previous casual partners (at least that's a mutually desired thing). Anyone who worships status enough to let herself being used like that isn't someone I could imagine being compatible with.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:06 AM
–

'Bromance' makes me recoil. Some of us grew up in a generation where men didn't talk about loneliness, not having close friends, etc. It was taboo in the 2000s, even online. What male friendship should mean to me is a group to do activities with. Focus on active. But that often isn't the reality. A lot of single guys my age are a broken down mess: bitter. divorced older men who cling to their comfort zones, sitting in their bar safe space sipping craft ale. Unless it's their most favourite thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 10:36 PM
–

It is in the context of sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:18 PM
–

Not really. Some things just aren't aesthetically appealing if you aren't oriented that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:09 PM
–

The aversion is most likely straight women's feelings of disgust at the thought or their partner engaging in sexual acts with another man. Gut level repulsion is an acceptable reason not to want to date someone. It doesn't require negative stereotypes or associations.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:00 PM
–

'Gay' as pejorative is homophobia, but what are you actually arguing here in terms of dating preference - they should have to force themselves to be comfortable with it so that bi individuals don't get upset over a preference that excludes them? (How incel-adjacent.) This isn't like someone refusing to date a black person. People engaging in sexual activity that doesn't align with our own orientation produces feelings of visceral disgust. That's just the way it is and no-one should have to unpac…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:38 AM
3

While some men will string women along and use women they have zero interest in romantically for sex, that's overstated on spaces like this. You would have to be making the case that this is a majority or a sizeable minority for that to fly. Men finding a higher % of women attractive than vice versa means your chances of finding an SO as an average to moderately sub-average looking woman are simply better.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 04:44 AM
–

Decent looks aren't just the proverbial foot in the door / minimum necessity attraction requirement; they result in halo effect biases that help grease the wheels of social interaction. It's much easier to hone conversation skills and sense of humour from a positive starting point. We don't want to admit this clearly observable reality that attractive people do in fact seem to be more charismatic and engaging than average. And negative initial receptions are just unpleasant no matter the outcome…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 11:33 AM
3

OP sounds about as fun as a fence post...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 08:38 AM
5

And the difference between expecting you to sleep with him after an expensive date vs coffee is what exactly? He's paid for dinner so that makes it better?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 12:12 PM
5

Yea but no-one's forcing you to have sex after a coffee date (or a first dinner date which is no different). If he wants that early on then that's obviously what he's after. Anyone can see that. Foolishly thinking you can convert that into a relationship is on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 11:19 AM
3

Lo no. In-person chemistry, seeing how someone articulates themselves in real life, seeing how they look in real life (and they you) it's all important.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 10:58 AM
11

Screening is exactly what coffee dates are. Don't women also want to screen for basic compatibility first, without the awkwardness, expense, time and effort of dinner dates with men they feel no connection with? You want to talk about wasted time?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 11:45 PM
6

I mean, you can. If you consider mass singleness a "problem" then the high/picky standards of people doing most of the rejecting could be considered the source of that problem. In reality there is no problem though, because people's standards relate to themselves as individuals, no-one dies from being single. no-one is setting a consensus others have to follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 06:03 AM
25

....I don't think I got the agenda items for this week, can you send me them?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:45 AM
3

So it seems more like preferences are a sliding scale where both genders have an "ideal" that is relatively rare. They're rare for different reasons. One is rare because people have decided to live sedentary lifestyles and consume large amounts of processed carbohydrate. The other is rare because sexual selection hasn't produced enough 6 foot + men yet. But if a guy is with the average American woman (5'4 and 170lbs) is he settling out of desperation? Is he miserable and hoping she'll lose weigh…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:28 AM
9

Absolutely. I'll bring it up at the next big meeting. (You know, those huge meetings where we determine women's leagues and decide what they're allowed to want.)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:05 AM
13

It's all preference, and all legitimate. Just not equivalent. Not wanting to date an obese person (obesity is a choice and objectively unhealthy) isn't equiivalent to height preference (genetic; only 15% of men are over 6 foot). Wanting an outgoing partner is fine but somewhat hypocritical if it's to compensate for passivity. Not wanting to be put in an awkward stepdad situation is...eh, pretty damn reasonable actually. Women's preferences cut more men out of the market based on innate or ingrai…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:34 AM
–

Previous relationships/partners are a common conversation topic. No way that's not going to come up at some point. Not being able to initiate/escalate will be a giveaway too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 09:06 AM
–

Yea what a lot of nonsense that was. As if women will be rushing into the arms of men who can barely afford their rent. All that's ahead is a further breakdown and reduction in social spaces, a general increase in singleness.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 08:01 AM
12

Wanting to feel special, in a relationship of all contexts. Oh, the horror! The lack of 'realism' is a problem, yea, but relationships are entered into for self-serving reasons. Nobody "altruistically" dates - that isn't a standard anybody meets.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 05:43 AM
4

The laziness aspect is in the nature of women's opening messages. We already know they're going to be pickier than men spam swiping right on Tinder, that's expected.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 03:53 AM
1

The flaws required for men to be completely invisible amount to not much more than being shy, awkward, lacking confidence and other masculine qualities, and the physical flaws are often genetic (below average height) Default assuming your male friends are just average guys is pretty clueless. Women tend to have male friends who would on average be more popular and not struggle as much with dating because of simple halo bias. That however is no more of a representative sample of men than men who …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 02:09 AM
0

I've had crushes on women but it never really had the chance to develop into anything deeper.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:33 AM
1

Ever heard of the FreeHer campaign? Or similar campaigns in the UK? (Which includes releasing violent female offenders). Or various groups whose goal is to end female homelessness? (Men form the majority of the homeless in most of the developed world.)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:49 AM
8

No, I'm a 46 year old who's never even dated. You might argue I would cheat on someone if given the opportunity, cause I'm a man and all men would if they could blah blah. But I really doubt it. You'd have to live with this person. Look them in the eye every day. The guilt would be unbearable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:19 AM
1

It's a dated script. Women don't need to rely on men economically any more; that's mostly irrelevant to the modern dating/relationship landscape - unless somebody wants some trad lifestyle with 5+ kids as a housewife. The early-mid twentieth century context of men paying existed when most people got married shortly after leaving school, not in the current context when dating can go on for years/decades and many people only settle down with an SO after 30. You're arguing women have some innate hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 11:56 PM
3

Predictably clueless perspective. The average woman will have many more options and will probably forget about it in no time. "Messing up" for him could mean the next date will be months, even years away.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:30 PM
2

Desire protection and provision would be more accurate. Which manifests in wanting to desired more than desiring.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 09:47 AM
1

Society was built on couples who in many cases resented one another, sticking it out because of the kids, or God, their church/society's expectations. The alternative is whole lot more kids that require support from the state, people living alone (more costly) and arguably more long-term mental health issues as people age alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 11:28 PM
1

FFS nobody is an ideal partner. Everybody is flawed to some extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:01 PM
-2

Few people are happy alone - and those that are don't post online claiming they are, they just get on with their lives. Those buzzwords are auto-red flag material.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:33 AM
5

Sounds like something obese people would say to normalize giving up. Take a look at some family photos of grandparents when they 50-60+ How many of them were obese? Right. Even women who had several kids weren't. They might not have stayed toned or youthful, but most people (90%) were healthy weight in the mid-twentieth century. Because - shock- they moved around, worked outside and didn't eat beyond their caloric needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:23 AM
-1

Because it requires less or no effort usually. Whereas men usually need to gym it, or improve their status. Which requires effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 04:17 AM
-1

It's at least partly women's fault for hovering around low commitment men when they should know better, then getting burned, bitter, and blaming the rest of us. But really, it's nobody's fault. We're predisposed to certain behaviours, and if men have a low threshold for what counts as sexually attractive you aren't going to convince them to think otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 03:07 AM
-4

It's not about assigning blame. Men have a higher drive, well all know that. It's simply pointing out the absurdity of referring to the "basics" that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:30 AM
0

Male thirst and lack of standards certainly has something to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:14 AM
0

Or perhaps physically attractive men - who form a smaller % of the male population due to innate traits such as height, full head of hair etc. plus female hypergamy - are so overwhelmed with options many of them are less likely to commit. Considering the obesity stats it's fairly clear most women can't meet the "basic expectations" either, ....and yet, full inboxes...unearned attention...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 01:06 AM
9

'Self-love' is a standard barely anyone meets, but I'm not talking about pop psychology notions of needing to love yourself before someone else can that get repeated ad nauseum. Rejection is a natural and normal part of dating for men. Fixed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 10:50 PM
20

A lot of guys went through bullying and have deeper self-esteem issues. Genuine trying opens one up to real, unavoidable rejection and having low self-worth confirmed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 03:15 AM
1

While there's some benefit if your social skills are lacking, I have a problem with using people like this and wasting their time in a process that is likely to lead to burnout and even more cynicism. There's other contexts in which to talk to women, other ways to spend your time that will lead to more confidence. And frankly having the same lame getting-to-know you chat over and over every few days seems exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 09:21 AM
3

Teachers and nurses should probably be paid more than they are but that doesn't mean they should be getting the same as engineers, GPs, surgeons, immunologists etc. That is essentially an argument for flattening the wage scale which would require an authoritarian state and remove incentives from high-stress, high qualification requirement jobs. The reason there aren't as many male teachers is because men are terrified of accusations.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 04:59 AM
1

Lol sure. A wealthy celebrity actress refuses to use her position and influence to do anything for 20 years until she can get back into the limelight. And her comrade rapes a 17 yo boy then claims said boy "tricked her" into it ( zero accountability pattern here). Face it, this 'movement' was full of bad-faith sociopaths.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:18 AM
0

That makes not exposing him for 20 years even worse, doesn't it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:44 AM
1

If you were referring to rom coms/movies it'd be a stronger argument because they have a broader audience and there's also 'noise' in the form of male producers/consumers who may expect/want things to be presented a certain way, as well as dated tropes around gender. Romance novels on the other hand are entirely aimed at a female audience with mainly female authors. If they didn't accurately cater to a large % of women's preferences they wouldn't sell.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 08:05 AM
2

It's a general maxim that applies to relationships where people have a degree of agency over what they will/will not accept, not a excuse for harassment or SA or whatever you're claiming. As for #metoo.. lol. It took Rose McGowan 20 years to expose Weinstein. In her 40s when the roles were drying up. Dozens of women would have been subject to the 'casting couch' during that time. The other prominent voice in that movement, Asia Argento, was accused of having sex with a 17 year old boy then payin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 10:23 PM
1

Wow...This is every inexperienced man's dream...Where do they meet women like you?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 05:18 AM
1

I didn't and I'm satisfied enough with that. I couldn't date because I had to take care of someone in my family as a young person. Trying to be open minded about it, I went to various age-appropriate singles events in my 40s, and even with the rarer nicer person there was little in common because the experience gap was too much. So I chose to stop there rather than try to date someone 'appropriate' then have to make a hundred blunders, learn what I should have at 20 with someone who has decades …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 06:59 AM
10

that's not a man and it's not attractive. This is not looking for a man, it's looking for a utility to control.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 06:54 AM
2

I provided a source. Not going to provide any more if you're too lazy to read it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 05:38 AM
0

I didn't say women were attracted specifically to violence but to traits we associate with masculinity. The potential for violence/force is an aspect of masculinity because it's relevant to men's ability to protect/provide. Evolved tendencies are rule-of-thumb. Some women, often young women, (mis)read aggression as masculine and some men are aggressive only some of the time. Men who lean masculine will on average be more likely to be violent. Hence, some women end up with men who's behaviour vee…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 05:01 AM
5

No. Women pair up with violent men, and often it's violence directed towards other men at least initially, because people aren't perfect, they act on impulse or base desire, and don't fit into simple good/bad categories. Similar to how men date attractive BPD women. And denying innate preferences is absolutely a blue pill specific thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 02:51 AM
6

Tenet...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 02:14 AM
5

The general idea here is that women are attracted to dominant traits, physical and otherwise, found in men who are capable of protecting them. Hybristophilia attraction to killers is a sort of perverted extreme of this. Blue-pillers are in the habit of claiming women are defective, backward, brainwashed by patriarchy, "not the kind of women you want" etc. for wanting masculine men when in fact that's normal and more moderate red pillers defend women holding this preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 02:05 AM
–

TRP doesn't exist to address workplace health & safety or other problems men face disproportionally. It isn't an over-arching political movement. It's essentially dating advice for men with an evo-psych underpinning. The question is for men's rights groups, or egalitarians, not red pillers on reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 08:42 AM
1

So basically sticking to mainstream interests and lifestyle will put you in greater proximity to women because women are more genetically similar to one-another and 'average' men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 08:29 AM
–

Which is why feminism is needed, because without it, men would just be horrible and abusive to women and take away/prevent them from having rights. So yes, you are technically correct, but only if you also agree that men are naturally abusive rapists; oppressive; and violent to women and only stop doing so under threat of force from more powerful men. There's various other explanations for why feminism is "allowed" by men. From a neo-liberal perspective women's emancipation grows the pool of wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:30 AM
–

That's like arguing that oligarchy is really a Marxist dictatorship of the proletariat because the wealthy still need the services of average people for security and mundane tasks. Obviously that's nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:17 AM
1

18 deaths per 100,000 births is a low chance. There a similar chance of dying in a fatal car accident.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:48 PM
0

The maternal mortality rate in the US is 18 per 100,000 births. In Europe it's 5-8. The chances of dying or experiencing serious complications are low.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:45 PM
1

Since when is this place representative? Most people don't cheat. Most people have kids because they want them and intend to support them. This space is essentially a venting ground.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:37 PM
1

It's easier to make this choice knowing you'll probably have nieces/nephews some day. You aren't the end of your family line.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:26 PM
–

...well yea I don't think many of us would argue that is it is ideal for her. If you're open to dating that much older you would already have considered the downsides beforehand.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 06:44 AM
–

Yea, used hypocritically by people who enforce it over others. Most women here have very trad 'yus queen' ideas about men approaching, paying, proving themselves etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 08:05 PM
–

Almost 90% of OnlyFans creators are female: https://wifitalents.com/onlyfans-gender-statistics/ Some responsibility needs to be put on the men who consume this content as well, sorry. We can hold people responsible for their choices while still judging something as a social ill. Just because there's a demand doesn't mean it has to be met.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 09:03 AM
1

By "better" they mean not choosing abusive fuckboys, not jumping from one man to another based on income.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 06:58 AM
3

The more desirable you are generally, the easier it is to find an SO. And people care about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 06:20 AM
16

Also, if someone consistently feels like love has to be earned through achievement, status, or outperforming others, that often traces back to conditional affection. A lot of people grow up receiving praise, reassurance, or warmth only when they succeed. So they internalize this idea that love equals performance. That is not misogyny necessarily. But it is unhealthy. It isn't through upbringing, it's a gender role imposed by society, reinforced at every point by the opposite sex. One that says '…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 08:04 PM
–

OP probably thinks healthy self-esteem is a 'decision' or something that can be worked on through therapy. A big part of our self-image develops in adolescence where people are most selfish and superficial, and that's exactly where most of bullying and pecking order behavior occurs with young men. Every hierarchy has to have people towards the bottom. To expect these guys to approach dozens, maybe hundreds of women and form connections with some of them without showing insecure, anxious, low sel…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 02:54 AM
2

....asking to be hit on Except they aren't. Women constantly tell men they don't want to be hit on in so-called appropriate spaces any more i.e. bars/clubs when out with friends or other social events they just want to enjoy in peace. Men risk creep shaming and meltdowns whatever the circumstances and approval seekers like you are first in line to put the boot in.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 05:07 AM
–

Or maybe he keeps himself in shape despite not being at his peak, but the women he could plausibly date is his age group typically don't any more and look heavy, unfeminine and unappealing. Or maybe he's relatively less experienced and doesn't want to deal with a similar age person's bitter divorce baggage, general resentment towards the opposite sex which would require existing on egg shells 24/7 Maybe younger adults are more spontaneous and energetic instead of sanctimonious and dull. There's …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:59 AM
–

It seems like incel adjacent whining when women revert to OTT rhetoric, and it absolutely is when the younger party is fully grown not a late teen/early 20 something (what other explanation is there in that case)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:05 AM
–

Right. It took Rose McGowan 20 years to accuse Weinstein.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:46 PM
–

Basically, like so much here, it has nothing to fucking do with you or how you look. It does for the same reasons attractive men (or attractive BPD women) get away with a range of behaviours that would be viewed very differently in others. The simple Halo Bias we're all subject to. And because they're attractive women are hurt that much more when those men turn out to be the opposite of what they seemed.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 10:48 AM
1

Yup. The kind of man who could be manipulated into marriage like that isn't one you want to marry.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 06:42 AM
14

Honestly, a lot of the 'women complain about not being approached' stuff seems to be coming out of the manosphere. It's being overstated to say the least. Plenty of women have been assaulted or encountered genuinely threatening men approaching them in car parks etc. so emotions naturally run high. And just personally, even if there were a subsection of women who appreciated cold approaches and I could somehow identify them before time, I'm not going to approach them because I'm not a circus anim…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 06:22 AM
16

JFC, have you considered writing a dissertation on something that matters more than this? This is just adding to the impression that men have nothing better to do than obsess over dating and perceived unfairness. The best way to avoid this mess is to simply not bother people in public. There's other avenues, and even if there weren't, sticking to principle won't kill you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 05:56 AM
–

Er, yea, it kind of is though depending on how you define significantly younger. An older man wanting to date a 28 yo who is out of his league is no different than the aforementioned woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 09:23 PM
3

Men don't have to be 'bottom percent' to get little-to-no interest on the apps: It's just about guaranteed by the gender ratio alone. It's not ego, it's healthy self-respect. Which everyone should have. If I'm in the extreme inferior position compared to someone I'm trying to "impress" then at some point it simply isn't worth it. Do you want to message/approach hundreds of strange men who are indifferent or contemptuous of you, just for the fleeting chance of getting to impress one man in a tota…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 12:00 AM
3

Lol do you know what the success rate would be for average men on an app? Average men would get few or no opportunities through those platforms.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 09:07 PM
0

It's not disgust but differing notions around what counts as formal office wear, a hang-over from days past. Shorts have never been judged as formal. But plenty of workplaces are dropping the strict code. Hairy man who loves hairy women Oh good grief.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 09:31 AM
2

This causes men to pursue women obsessively and seek validation to an unhealthy degree. It can also have dangerous consequences when already mentally unbalanced men feel emasculated through rejection. And just personally, as a 46 yo virgin who spent a big chunk of his 20s taking care of a family member while surviving on a few hours sleep, I might not be a desirable man, but I am a man and fuck you for implying otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 06:50 AM
3

And then it brings a question, does it matter that there are no open conflicts in real life if people are thinking the same thoughts and it brings the same divide? The last few years I've noticed Gen Z people in my workplace (not in my dept. thank God) behaving oddly. Men and women don't seem to socialize with one another the way they used to. No mixed groups going out to drinks after work any more. Interactions seem...tense. One young woman kept giving people around her different first names, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 03:01 AM
1

Orientation is for the most part based on female/male primary and secondary sex characteristics. Human beings existed well before society was organized into complex social arrangements where concepts of gender formed. Even then, it was often women who would be considered extremely skinny today worrying about their weight. Looking at how much beauty standards have shifted within even just a couple decades tells you a lot about how subjective beauty standards really are. Or the average person is f…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 03:42 PM
1

But the relevance for this topic is that neither masculinity nor femininity are fixed objects in the universe. They’re social constructs exposed to us as we develop sexually. So I'm going to assume you at least agree that orientation originates with biological sex. not gender. This is why at times during history, chonky donky women with extremely pale skin were the heighth of feminine beauty (because more weight and pale skin indicated leisure) Plump, not morbidly obese. 'Slightly overweight' by…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 01:35 PM
6

People develop sexuality through exposure and conditioning Orientation is innate, Human sexuality is barely any more socially conditioned than that of lions. It makes sense for women's appearances to be more sexually/aesthetically appealing because they bare children; male value is tied to protection and provision rather than fertility. If human sexuality were socially conditioned we would not exist as a species; there wouldn't have been enough reproduction happening with healthy reproductive ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 06:05 AM
36

I mean OP is probably basing his comments on a large subset of women here who constantly talk about the vast majority of men as if they were disgusting cave trolls. It's pretty obvious that women have a more limited criteria around the male form and what aesthetically appeals about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 04:20 AM
1

In comes TRP and I turn from Billy Beta that can only get friendzoned into someone that can get women at will. Or you developed a spine and took more of a dgaf attitude, which is going to appeal to at least some women or increase your chances via the numbers game - better than overthinking, neurotically trying to decode them or worry about what every woman on the planet might think of you - which btw appeals to no-one, But coming to this realization doesn't require TRP and could just be framed a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 03:41 PM
2

You can because you're a woman and no man is going react like that or label you something unless you behave absolutely outrageously.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 02:24 PM
2

Most of the actionable advice - at least in terms of meeting women and making a decent impression - is just common sense. Clean yourself up. Go out more. Talk to people. Try to read subtext. Improve your looks, health and conversation skills. If they can't understand that then they're beyond help already. The rest of the actionable advice is specific to the individual and not something strangers on reddit can help with.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 02:10 PM
2

The problem is 'treating women as humans' usually means making 100% certain they're never uncomfortable; mind reading, never putting a step wrong, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 02:02 PM
2

Most of the MTG player types are employed STEM nerds.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 01:53 PM
1

Someone's orientation is part of who they are. Their past sexual behaviour is who they are. It's valid to be attracted to or repulsed by that without holding a generalized negative view of an entire group. It is just a case of not finding it appealing at the interpersonal level.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:45 AM
2

How so? Because everyone has to be down with the idea of sex they aren't oriented towards? Because you're entitled to attention from straights and a large varied dating pool or else your poor feels will get hurt? And apparently straight men are the entitled group..
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:07 AM
1

Here's a thought: maybe they're just repulsed by the thought of their bf/husband having hot 'n steamy sexy times with another guy? Maybe gay sex is repulsive to people who aren't gay/bi, and therefore the idea of their partner engaging in it affects their attraction to that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 10:40 PM
1

A lot of women are... 'A lot'... huh. You're talking about a subset of a small community to start with. The vast majority of people would be repulsed by some of the behaviour you just described, particularly in that opening paragraph.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 10:20 PM
3

It isn't 'biphobic' to be straight and want a straight partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 09:01 PM
–

That's being desired, not objectified. And most people want to be desired i.e. found sexually attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:21 PM
–

...No it isn't. That would involve an action for one thing, some kind of outward behavior, and the majority of men aren't acting inappropriately on their sexual impulses, catcalling etc. People finding each other sexually appealing and fantasizing is normal. It's a necessary prerequisite for romantic interest for most including most women. Fact that men's preferences lean more visual (and are acted upon more frequently) doesn't mean women don't have visual preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:07 PM
3

Can you overcome your 200k year old hard wiring to chase after 17 yo’s? False equivalence. Most men are still attracted to legal age women. You're expecting women should date men they quite likely feel no attraction to whatsoever, based on social pressure/norms. It won't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 11:27 AM
1

They're already told that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 08:23 AM
16

We need each other in the sense that it's totally impractical to gender segregate the economy. In terms of interpersonal relationships there's no need for men and women to rely on one-another any more (unless we're talking long-term survival of the species).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 04:24 AM
2

What i wanna stress with this is, that we actually might have to establish new gender norms and make a new better system, instead of saying that we just leave things how they are upon the disablement of the patriarchy. Like what exactly - beyond normalizing widespread singleness. It's hard to see how society could socially re-engineer 200,000 + years of adaptive pressure - millions if you include pre-human hominins - to convince women to settle for men they would rather not without coercive pres…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 03:09 AM
2

Bad, evil, no. But being perpetually single would in many respects correlate with being less capable, less successful in life generally, less genetically 'fit' and therefore undesirable. There's no way around that conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 02:54 AM
6

The average man is not going to care (and some prefer it).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 07:06 PM
3

Do you think you have any of the qualities that make a man "fuckable'?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 11:17 PM
1

It's absolutely not the same for women, because women aren't expected to initiate. You demand qualities in men that you more-than-likely lack and would struggle greatly if the roles were reversed.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 11:04 PM
–

You're free to leave. That is not up for debate. But other people are free to criticize, particularly if you've made a serious commitment like marriage. Would you marry a man who made it clear he'd end it the moment you gained a few pounds? Right. This whole argument is absurd because nobody would start long-term relationships expecting the other person to be that selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:09 PM
6

And here it is, straight from the horse's mouth, OP....
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 02:42 PM
15

Dozens of uncensored comments from women on relationship subs. The general perception that virgin = loser in males, which is everywhere. It's ingrained into culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 09:45 AM
20

Ignore the 'official line' in the comments OP. Past 25 not having any prior endorsements from women is going to reflect on you as a man, your social skills, masculinity, judged mental stability, etc. The older you get, the worse it gets, the less slack you will be cut, and the fewer opportunities there will be to change course. This is why dating and getting experience during or shortly after college is so critical.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:14 AM
1

Also: you don’t have to bring up the fact you’re a virgin. And yet women on reddit argue men are obligated to disclose virginity as part of "informed consent"
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:07 AM
-2

Then men and women would only choose each other on looks and compatible qualities. That's never going to happen because the preference for men who can provide/protect is an adaptation that formed over 200 hundred thousand years (millions if you count early hominins). It's as innate as anything. The problem is not the preference but the lack of honesty around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:29 PM
0

So basically they're unrefined morons who like football, big trucks and eating at Hooters.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:20 PM
4

They're either sausage fests or full of rude people with personality disorders.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 08:37 AM
3

If male sexuality mirrored female sexuality overnight, resulting in men finding large swathes of women unattractive, lots and lots of women would become sad, frustrated, jaded, bitter and even angry. We'd have a mental health crisis and women would definitely and massively attack men for it, at least verbally. Already see this with women over 40. Many 45 yo single women behave like the older gender swap equivalent of bitter, alienated 19 yo 4Chan boys who haven't learnt to regulate their emotion…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 07:49 AM
–

Cause it's impractical to legislate polyandry in a modern social democracy. Just an observation: The majority of polyamorous relationships seem to involve desperate middle-aged fatties who look like they haven't showered in a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 03:03 AM
2

The difference between needs and incentives isn't as clear-cut as people want to make out. And anyway most of those women would have no trouble acquiring sex if they wanted and can passively wait for romantic partners to approach them (easy to demand others accept something you don't have to). A person can survive in an 8-by-4 cell with food/water for 70 years while finding strategies to psychologically cope with isolation and profound boredom - but that doesn't make it a life worth living.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:14 PM
3

It's too poorly phrased for AI.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 02:32 PM
4

Complaining about entitlement while feeling entitled to attention and resources. Comedy gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 02:26 PM
8

Then you're not looking. "Manlet" and "virgin" are incredibly common insults.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 07:06 AM
4

No, but using the law or social condemnation for a personal vendetta, absolutely. Why did Rose McGowan wait until her 40s (when she was less attractive and her career was wrapping up) before exposing Weinstein? She had a good 20 years to do this. Dozens of women would have subjected to the same behaviour in that time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:04 PM
6

Doesn't logic. If you're living your best lives free of disappointing partners then you should be more happy not less.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:11 PM
9

As if community were just there, waiting for us. That's a woman's perspective. Seriously, go undercover as a man and try socializing with strangers in any social setting. Deal with the cold wary receptions. Now deal with that treatment every day of your life. Community among men often doesn't exist because men compete with each other for resources and status (in large part because that makes them appealing to women).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 07:32 PM
19

Men's desires are framed as entitlement. Women's desires are framed as rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 07:12 PM
2

Yea, you couldn't pay me enough to date that woman. Mentally ill, psychopathic or plain skeezy people with no standards hooking up with one another doesn't prove Red Pill talking points. It's just weirdos hooking up, nothing more.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 06:08 AM
–

This is women pushing a sanctified version of masculinity that benefits them (minus the sexism and selfishness represented by red pill rhetoric). That doesn't necessarily benefit men or allow them to show more emotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 10:03 PM
–

Then call it something other than healthy masculinity, because clearly it isn't about what is healthy for men but providing maximum utility to women. Of course it's also worth pointing out that the official narrative women support and their actual behaviour can be strikingly different.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 06:03 AM
–

That's not how attraction works, and political/social views should be independent of reward anyway. Decent people don't curate their views according to what might provide them with "sexual access" of all things. The only women who would find that appealing would be those who use sex to control men. "Healthy masculinity" is vacuous. There isn't an aspect of masculinity that isn't in some manner tied to so-called toxic traits. Women don't want to acknowledge that because it means they're complicit…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 03:46 AM
–

Plenty of socially awkward, physically slight, unmasculine, bullied-within-an- inch-of-their-lives-during-adolescence men would disagree with that last sentence. Men who ended up behaving badly or lashing out got into relationships in the first place. Men who struggle to date don't get chances to demonstrate anything to differentiate themselves from those guys. Attraction is amoral. Hating Andrew Tate isn't going to put you on anyone's radar. Being vaguely male-feministy isn't going to make you …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 03:11 AM
1

This is already widely condemned, so it's hard to see what individual men can do beyond judging it as unacceptable. We're responsible for our own attitudes, behaviours and who we choose to mingle with.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 10:52 PM
3

Didn't say women in general make it up, but women here are on the neurotic end of the spectrum, and since I've heard all sorts of weird and whacky examples that amount to little more than 'undesirable man behaves like he has an orientation' I'd need more. Sorry but I don't think being asked out to lunch once by your dorky coworker or being glanced at in the gym counts as harassment. And what muddies the waters further is that plenty of women expect men they're interested in to aggressively pursu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 10:20 PM
2

quite sure
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 10:02 PM
2

Of course it happens. It's that your - i.e. women on spaces like this - definition of harassment is often questionable and extends well beyond the legal or consensus definition to mean basically any unreciprocated interest from men you consider undesirable. Particularly when "objectification" is brought into it that could mean basically whatever you want. As for calling out other men, I'm not in social circles with those kinds of men. In what context would that be happening? Just admonish some r…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 09:53 PM
–

Fewer decent options by 30-35. Few options (for long-term) by 40+ That's not red pill, that's reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 03:05 AM
–

Or... I've had my fun when I was young, now I want to lock in a committed relationship and vet for compliance with a man I'm less excited by/attracted to while I still have options. If you're interested in commitment then not having sex early is basically common sense. It shouldn't take years to figure that out. Naturally we'd wonder whether there's a genuine change in values in that case.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:25 PM
–

The subtext of the OP's post is that it's 100% on the man to make romance 'happen.'
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 10:52 PM
0

Relationships are how most women have sex as well. Nobody's denying it's an important part of a relationship, however, some people would rather wait to gauge compatibility and for some kind of emotional connection first. I don't know why men here aggressively insist women not sleeping with them by the third date is some sort of terrible slight. This is just not how many - probably most - people operate.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:20 AM
2

Not the same as only viewing a relationship as merely a means to that end and nothing else.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:10 AM
0

I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually agree with most of it. If you’re fine with waiting, who cares if she had hookups in the past and changed her mind now? - except this part. You can't switch up and decide you want a gradually developing emotional connection after years of hookups and think the other party isn't going to have an opinion. If these are your past decisions then you've already filtered out socially conservative men who are typically keen on waiting. Chances are men you'll…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:01 AM
1

...yea, I only have an inkling of what's meant by this. Guessing you mean fear of having how undesirable I am confirmed through actually trying. But the problem is the incentives just aren't there at this age, whatever the outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 11:03 AM
-1

If they're actually into the hobby? Sure, why not. Not if they're just there looking for attention and Instagram followers from groups of "desperate losers." Most of the nerd hobby groups I've been to weren't male-dominated anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:02 PM
4

It's the fear of being labelled something and the online narrative that has been going on for 10 + years now.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 10:50 PM
8

Older men weren't shouted down, labelled toxic, predatory, or told that just saying hello to someone and attempting a conversation requires consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 10:43 PM
8

Like someone else said, the 'rules' around approaching and dating have changed. Approaching strange women in bars would be looked down on and risk being thrown out, whereas for Gen X/older millenials it was normal. Young men these days have been receiving negative messaging since adolescence: don't approach/bother women in just about any circumstances you can imagine etc. It's always unwelcome etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 10:30 PM
24

No offence but you're not in your 20s right now...daily talking to dozens of dudes over snapchat or the apps is different from getting odd follow-up text or email.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 10:02 PM
31

The amount of attention and ease of getting it would be very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 09:34 PM
–

Which society? It is just about universal for men to initiate and propose, across culture and time period, with only an few examples where women have done this. That's evidence for it being part of innate predisposition (women engage in sexual selection for assertive men as they make for better providers)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 11:44 AM
1

It's fairly common to hear idiotic red pill advice to young men that goes along the lines of 'wait until you're established in your 30s (or even 40s) and date a much younger woman.' It isn't just the quality of person men would be attracting in such circumstances. Who wants to be in their first serious relationship when they're aging, hormones are declining, anhedonia/depression happens, nothing feels 'new' and further physical/mental decline is just around the corner? That's ignoring how diffic…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 07:09 AM
6

'Barely legal' is 18-19.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 06:28 AM
1

To be honest, and this'll be downvoted, I have trouble finding women my own age attractive now. Still picturing women in their twenties or early thirties as a first gf. Normally experienced women this age often make me uncomfortable, the physical attraction side of it often isn't there because a lot of people have let themselves go or look like they're in their 50s - but even when it is there the decades-difference in experience between us would be extremely off-putting, assuming it even got to …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:15 PM
1

The average man is taller than the average woman so no-one would argue that. That isn't a motte and bailey fallacy anyway. Motte and Bailey would be claiming women only date 6 foot + athletes (the extreme argument) then justifying it with the fact that women typically prefer men who are taller than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 12:51 AM
2

A lot of men who whine about this are usually asocial. Don't approach because a no from a stranger is suddenly an indicator of their worth. We don't approach, particularly not strangers, because most of us aren't idiots who lack self-awareness. Inexperienced men would be hyper-sensitive to rejection, because unlike most people, there are no positive experiences in their backgrounds to counter-balance the negative. This is also coming a group who typically don't have to approach in order to date.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 11:48 PM
17

For a well-adjusted individual with positive experiences and a friend circle, sure. For someone like me, gaming was like a drug. It was all I did. When others my age where out with friends, on their OE’s, or getting serious about their careers, I was obsessed with the next RPG. Now paying the price for these decisions.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 10:09 PM
2

Correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 09:29 PM
14

... the Norman Bates/Travis Bickle archetype.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 11:38 AM
13

....Honestly you should hate being that guy because this advice is tedious and shows an almost baffling lack of understanding of what it's like to be undesirable. Aren't Medellin and Pattaya notorious pedophile destinations? I wouldn't even want to be seen there.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 03:52 AM
51

Average height. White. Drink socially but much less these days. In shape. Run and 'lift' at about intermediate level for my height/weight. Started balding young at 14-15. To cope with the bullying/isolation I became a loser gamer. Outside of university courses I didn't do much beyond game. Single mother fell terminally ill in my 20s and I had to take a dead-end job to cover the bills, By the time that was over I was mid-late thirties and it was way too late to start dating. In many ways it's lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 11:44 PM
60

As a 46 yo virgin, no exaggeration, men in this situation may as well be on the sex offender register as far as many women are concerned. Men are still expected to be the active party with dating/romance. It's a mix of socialization and evolved predisposition. A man's inability to form a romantic connection by a certain age is going to imply a lot more negatives about him than the gender reverse. (Particularly as the gender reverse usually involves being single/inexperienced by choice.)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 09:17 PM
1

Unfounded generalizations aren't reality. If you want to generalize about how entire groups behave then be prepared to back that up with valid data.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:40 PM
1

The average American women's BMI is around 30. There is no mystery here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:27 PM
3

Sex with who, the average overweight/obese American woman? If we're talking about Italian or Japanese men in their home countries where people are generally still healthy/attractive even into their 50s, 'LBH' would be on point. In North America/UK it's beyond laughable.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 10:01 AM
2

then what do you attribute the obvious gap in motivation to? Existing social norms. Most women know they don't need to approach to have options. Most men know they will need to approach or end up alone for life. Less physical attraction from women's end but that's often overstated (women don't date men they're physically repulsed by just because they approached them with decent conversation skills). Ultimately most people would rather avoid rejection if they could and women have the option to av…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 08:24 AM
5

I acknowledge that men shoulder it because they want something from women in a way that women don't. Desperation and horniness isn't some blanket explanation for all male-female dynamics. Obviously some men approach women for that reason. On the other hand 45% of Gen Z men have never approached a woman in real life, so they can't be that horny. The majority of young men and women still want relationships and the stats bear this out. Within the 18-29 yo age range the % of men vs women who are sin…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 07:53 AM
8

So you expect men to accept and deal with what you wouldn't i.e. a dynamic where they feel less valued plus the possibility of being used for attention/resources by someone without a genuine interest in them. I'm doing is so aberrant amongst women that they assume I'm promiscuous, desperate for them, or "low value" in some other way. This is only the case because of women's widespread refusal to buck this particular social norm and deal with their share of rejection, despite 50+ years of mainstr…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 07:03 AM
25

Lots of men are giving up on dating because the fear of rejection being creep shamed and humiliated is too high. Fixed. Most of us can deal with the rejection part like adults. It's the other stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 06:54 AM
2

The nature of the criteria is relevant when there aren't an equivalent men could ask (without it being deemed inappropriate). That means you can filter in a way we can't.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 04:42 AM
2

You know very well that men expressing such preferences unprompted would be labelled creeps. He means reducing people down to superficial criteria. but treat men like a bunch of numbers? Your superficial criteria flies under the radar of public scrutiny/condemnation, whereas ours certainly don't, so these women are riding on a double standard to ask the kind of questions any self-aware man wouldn't dream of asking.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 03:34 AM
0

...Which is why I qualifed that with socially acceptable. Men who ask for nudes are universally judged as creeps.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 02:34 AM
8

Weight N count Cup size Etc. These are also filters. Just not the socially acceptable kind. Imagine asking a woman for nudes or gym pics. FFS women write weather report length rants about this kind of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 01:23 AM
0

If this is all anecdotal, not based on probability, then it would be extremely inappropriate and unprofessional to be traumatizing patients like this needlessly. Sounds lke a lot of online fuelled horseshit tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 10:47 AM
–

It is a major misunderstanding of reality to think red pill makes otherwise attractive men unappealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 10:01 AM
1

Both parties have an underlying drive to reproduce, which is the ultimate goal. The male pursuing filters for certain traits that women value more in a partner than vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:17 AM
4

Yea because his desirability is judged in part by his economic status and ability of pay for an appealing lifestyle. Women who consider 50:50 and cheap dates an insult dgaf if "everyone's struggling."
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 02:12 AM
1

For a very long time, it was primarily what kind of person you were (whether you were kind, whether you did your job, whether you showed empathy), This assumes kindness and conformity were the most valued traits when humans lived in small groups, whereas we could as easily argue that aggression, dominance and selfishness would lead to the greatest effectiveness for provision and reproductive success. Male social arrangements tend towards hierarchy, after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 11:48 PM
–

Why must everything outside of norms be a fetish?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 10:32 AM
1

Grow up. Running to the mods because of your hurt ego is childish. Since when are incel or red pill derogatory comments regarding women censored here? It might be a rule but it's hardly ever enforced. If you can't hack the full range of answers then don't ask the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 10:03 AM
1

The Romans/Greeks (Spartans) also normalized pederastic relationships and encouraged homosexuality as a form of male bonding in the military. Aberrant social norms don't say much about our evolved predispositions.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:41 AM
1

Those beliefs didn't originate in a modern western context. They're found across cultures since recorded history.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:49 PM
1

You could make that argument about any preference or even orientation itself. Women have more at stake so it makes sense their innate preferences would be narrower.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:22 PM
-1

Innate is biological/genetic. Perhaps the thought of them engaging in gay sex is emasculating. Not sure why anyone needs to change this perception or force themselves to overcome it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:34 PM
3

Possibly because they ARE less desirable/attractive or perceived as less masculine to straight women at the innate level.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:12 PM
1

It’s a mundane predisposition less desired groups across-the-board fall into: lash out and shame others into being sexually available. So overweight people claim anyone who won’t date them is fatphobic. And basement dwelling losers who refuse to clean themselves up and get in the gym like to claim women only date genetically superior Chads (Unfair!) Why should I think you’re any different? That's how it reads. "Lesbian porn" is one of the most researched categories. That’s porn; voyeurism. But p…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:50 PM
1

Labeling something phobic isn't an argument. What are they 'phobic' of? Clearly it isn't gay male sex if they're also gay. Heterophobia? Perhaps people are more comfortable with a partner who's orientation aligns with theirs. BTW This is the reasoning of incels - date me or you're a bigot/all-round terrible person - it's automatically suss since you're part of group that stands to benefit if people are convinced to "re-assess" their so-called prejudice. It's worse in a way because you're hiding …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:01 PM
1

Not being comfortable with a partner who engaged in gay sex in the past. Because it's alien to our owm orientation. You realize a many gay people don't date bi, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 08:03 PM
1

It's well known that gay is icky but lesbians are "totally hot bro" As said, I don't share that perception. I'm straight and want a straight woman. Plenty of gay people wouldn't date bi either. Are you going to accuse them of homophobia? Or is it biphobia this time? Source here. This is really gross that you would think I'm doing this. Like seriously wtf. It takes a twisted mind just to come up with that. It's obvious and most people would see it as such. You want to control people's preferences…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:28 AM
-1

Ask yourself why the stigma is specific to bi men, not women. While I can only speak for myself, I'd anticipate plenty of men would prefer women who are exclusively interested in men. Yeah there is something wrong, it's prejudiced and false. Says you. That isn't an argument. As I've repeatedly said before, i am absolutely not interested in homophobic people. I'll still call it out for what it is. The fact that you think I'm doing this says more about you than it says about me. You're trying to p…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:55 AM
1

Coffee, lunch, or a walk etc. are frequently suggested as a 'pred-date' to quickly gauge compatibility without the time/expense/awkwardness of a full-blown dinner date. Plenty of people do that. So you'll just end discounting large numbers of mostly non-red pilled men because of your own paranoia about red pill. But if you want to cut your options down right from the get-go like that, by all means.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:42 AM
0

1.Various definitions include either irrational fear of or prejudice. Being disgusted by or uncomfortable at the thought of gay sex isn't prejudice. It is simply a reaction to a form of sexuality that is alien to someone who is not gay/bi. Gay people could also feel disgust at straight sex. That doesn't make them prejudice/hateful towards hetero people. It's a silly argument to equate turn-offs with hatred. As said, forms of sexual intercourse that aren't in-line with our orientations tend to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:28 AM
-5

Turn-off =/= phobia.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 07:06 AM
2

What % of men are red pill or have even heard that term? It sounds like you want guys to pay for bad first dates because your time is worth more than theirs.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 02:22 AM
2

By not having sex early on.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 12:08 AM
6

'I'm not traditional but I expect men to pay for expensive dinner dates.' Comedy gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 10:15 PM
2

Right. Half of the high earning primary breadwinner women in relationships contribute less than half of household expenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 10:09 PM
–

Replace dynamic with hypocritical or 'lacking principles' I can't believe yours is the top upvoted post but I suppose that's women here...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 09:49 PM
2

This. It's a socially acceptable way of saying they want a high earning provider and would be willing to hand over the reins if it came to it. I can't blame them for it particularly if they want kids. Cost of living is ridiculous now. Boomers and Gen X really fucked young people over.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 07:37 AM
-1

Autistic women are 3 times as likely to have partners as autistic men. Source Of the individuals with ASD, significantly more women (n=18; 46.2%) than men (n=9; 16.1%) were currently in a relationship (P<0.01)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 02:27 PM
3

Shitty careers? Oh boy. Somebody has to do those jobs, right. Make the standard of living we take for granted possible. I mean you don't have to date them, but maybe have some respect at least. I believe less and less women will be interested in men who have blue collar jobs. There just aren't going to be enough white collar professionals to go around I'm afraid, so it's not going to work in the aggregate for them. And the trades pay rather well, better than mid level office jobs, so I actually …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 12:47 PM
2

The stats don't bear that out. (Happier doesn't mean happy.) The majority of 18-29 yo women are still interested in dating. They don't approach because they know they don't need to and don't want to deal with the rejection. Letting men approach also filters for masculine qualities they generally find appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 11:44 AM
3

Shy women can rely on men to do the approaching just like other women can. (Assuming they're not extremely unattractive and still leave the house to socialize occasionally.) Shy women generally get support from other women. Shy men on the other hand are often relentlessly bullied by other boys/men from adolescence on, and judged as creepy losers by women. There's no equivalence.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 11:12 AM
10

Mostly it's a mundane bullying or adolescent humiliation problem. Something endured in adolescence that continues to manifest in adult life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 10:02 AM
10

So these men are working all day at strenuous jobs but they don't make very much because their wives have to work and do double the childcare and chores. Go and get an education like the women did and get a better job. Ugly classist comment. Who's bringing electricity/water/broadband to your home while making sure waste is cleanly disposed of, if not men? Certainly not women. Also, women are making at least half the family income. No they're not. Women might be in charge of household expenditure…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 07:25 AM
10

"Egalitarian" could include a 60/40 split in finances with men more often earning more. Bundling egalitarian in with sole/primary female breadwinner shows you shouldn't be trusted to interpret anything honestly. Physically demanding paid work is more stressful than housework or childcare and men do the great majority of that. Men are the majority of labourers, women are the majority of clerical and admin workers. Source Breaking it down by industry: Construction, mining, manufacturing, agricultu…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 04:39 AM
12

Collective blame to invalidate individual victims only adds weight to OP's point. You just hate men, and probably for reasons unrelated to anything mentioned here. Another commenter debunked your misuse of statistics regarding division of labour on another thread but here you are repeating the same BS.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 12:34 AM
10

They'd be labelled MRAs or incels. The reaction to Scott Galloway is a good example: His framing of male issues couldn't be more inoffensive and in-line with feminism yet he still gets hate as the "next Jordan Peterson." He can deal with that being a millionaire, but it would be social and career suicide for an average man to stick his oar in with any contemporary men's movement.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:49 PM
14

It isn't just ingroup bias. Both men and women have less empathy for men and there's plenty of research confirming it. We intuitively know this, thus men are right to be wary of seeking help and should be aware that their experiences might be turned against them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 10:55 PM
2

It is shamed. Older men get labelled creeps if they even look at twenty somethings nowadays (while women are still free to prefer masculine men and nobody takes issue) But there's a difference between what we're initially attracted to and what we base a relationship on. If we followed this kind of thinking through men would be justified leaving their wives when they gained weight and aged. Would you expect other women to be happy with that? Would you? But you think we should be happy was ATMs.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 06:00 AM
1

You're admitting you aren't attracted to men at the physical or emotional level. And BTW you're the one who labelled anything outside of this arrangement "disgusting" so who's being emotional? The circumstances in which this is understandable would be those where women have to rely on men economically. Otherwise it is just treating others as utilities and nobody wants to be a utility figure i.e. valued purely for what they provide and nothing else. Apparently this point is too far over your head…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:35 AM
2

If you believe men have nothing to offer besides provision and still want to be provided for then prostitution is the closest descriptive for that kind of exchange. And why would I want to answer a dumbass question based on an absurd premise? Most people want a partner who sees them as fully human, not a utility figure for either sex-on-demand or financial support.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:07 AM
-2

As if the thing that makes romantic relationships distinct from roomates/friends is not the nature of the relationship itself but this providing-for-women-to-be-with-them transaction aspect. You know there's another word for that, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 03:41 AM
–

If you want your partner to think of you as a generous person you need to be generous TO THEM it’s not that complicated A moral individual would be giving money to people who actually needed it not trying to buy the "love" of sociopathic women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:33 AM
–

Separate from that, imo it's extremely hard for someone to be so unattractive that nobody will ever like them as long as they're putting effort into their hygiene and appearance. Disagree. Baldness can completely destroy a man's appearance. Not everyone has the head for that. Men's body fat % needs to be in a narrow range. Adequate muscle development takes years of effort. And some people's facial structures aren't appealing and arguably there is more variation in men (similar to how there's mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 12:07 AM
–

He's not meaning 'cute' (to some women) sort of guys with a quirky mix of attractive and less attractive features. But actually unattractive men, who would probably also lack the masculine qualities about themselves (confidence, assertiveness) and not have the status to compensate. It's fairly obvious that an attraction threshold needs to be met before good character qualities count.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:46 PM
–

Lol. Paying for dates is vastly different from supporting children, which you are legally and morally obligated to do as a guardian.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:28 PM
19

"Generous" Rolls eyes How many women do you think would meet aĺl or most of these criteria? Or is it a case of 'I am the table, sweetie, tee-hee' separate standard? We're all subject to in-group bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 11:40 PM
1

I was in high school in the 90s and most people weren't even dating, so that sounds like exaggeration or small town situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 10:29 AM
2

Most people need to be physically attracted to a partner at some minimal level, so improving that should just be common sense. A main principle of TRP is of course that men and women want/are attracted to different things in one another. Even decidedly non-red pill sources (Macken Murphy for eg.) agree with this. Garden variety misogynists have no trouble dating. Feeding men nice-sounding illusions is arguably more harmful and likely to result in bitterness.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:05 PM
9

Why - so I can have physical intercourse with a woman who finds me disgusting? Can do without that experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:25 AM
2

Red Pill isn't as logically coherent or rigid as that and plenty of people take elements from it without buying into the zero sum game deal. Merely pointing out that men can improve themselves through general adherence to masculine behavior could improve the dating lives of most men who applied the advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 07:39 AM
6

Why weren't young women taking cues from the older generations 20 or 30 years ago when they had similar legal and social freedoms to now? Why so long to get to this point? They're not doing that now either. This is a mainly a phenomenon from the permanently online. Most young people still have a desire to get into relationships. The rate of single and not looking isn't that different with young men and women (33% vs 39%) and even then, economics have a lot to do with that. People who can barely …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 12:41 AM
13

As a 46 year old virgin male, genuinely foreveralone women should at least be relatable, the other type of course could never be. But unlike with lonely men, they're often bundled together with single-by-choice women in popular discourse, and they also tend to use similar rhetoric as a way to deal with their anger/loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 08:57 PM
11

Or wouldn't be on a dating/relationship themed subreddit in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 08:39 PM
1

How would this work with divorce without shared custody?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 06:53 AM
1

Agreed. As a man it's easy to get indignant about how unfair that is to socially awkward men, when similarly inhibited women have an easier time finding partners. But fairness has no impact on men and women's (differing) preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 11:03 PM
2

You can't infer that every allegation - unfounded/non prosecutable and even prosecuted is good faith because they haven't been been proven not to be, just like you can't infer that the only valid rape allegations are those that result in a prosecution. We don't know the actual figure. And a false allegation made in good faith still wrecks the life of the accused. That is something men would have a legitimate fear of, assuming the figure is a high as 10%
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 11:20 AM
1

Malicious intent can't be proven but we can reasonably assume it in certain situations. Someone who genuinely thought they were the victim of rape wouldn't make up or change their account.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 10:24 AM
1

The research makes the distinction between "false" and "could not be proven." Whether "false" means malicious is another thing again, but it's implied that it does: Applying International Association of Chiefs of Police (IACP) guidelines, a case was classified as a false report if there was evidence that a thorough investigation was pursued and that the investigation had yielded evidence that the reported sexual assault had in fact not occurred. A thorough investigation would involve, potentiall…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 01:22 AM
2

2- 10 % of allegations are thought to be malicious (significantly higher than false reporting of other crimes if we take a middle figure on that). A significant % aren't malicious but don't meet the legal definition of rape. That's in the US where affirmative consent is law. While it's true the vast majority of allegations aren't malicious the number of false allegations isn't likely to be a vanishingly small figure either.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 12:45 AM
0

And really in all cases, it always seems to be men who bring it up first. It’s always “Why are women against age gap relationships?” very rarely “I’m a woman and here’s why I’m against age gap relationships.” This is laughably inaccurate. There are comments judging older male age gaps pretty much everywhere online. Any tabloid piece with an older male celeb dating a younger woman is full of it. For eg. stories covering Brad Pitt's new gf (who is pushing middle age herself). Twoxchromosomes and o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 01:44 AM
12

It make sense when you realize a lot of this is driven by gut-level disgust. In the rare couple of instances where women I knew developed unreciprocated feelings, I simply avoided them. One of them kept on messaging me with 'hi how are you' and 'friendly' invites for 2 years straight. The other flat out stopped talking to me once it was clear I wasn't interested. I knew they were acting that way because they wanted more than friendship (normal flawed human behaviour), and sure it was annoying, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 09:51 PM
43

9 times out of 10 'nice guy' is just a strawman to attack unmasculine awkward guys who aren't direct (or men who hold on to unreciprocated feelings which is generally viewed with disgust as well). Yes, entitled men who get nasty in response to rejection exist, but nowhere near the extent women on spaces like this claim. Meanwhile nice girls who display the same 'hovering' friendly, doing favors type behaviour aren't just validated, they're victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 09:01 PM
4

People in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 06:28 AM
11

You mean benevolent sexism. Which isn't really sexism in this case, since offering to carry things for someone physically weaker and doing favours for an SO is normal behaviour. What OP identifies as "toxic" isn't particularly toxic either.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 06:14 AM
1

Okay but who on God's Earth would imagine their first partner as being that old? Certainly not the average female poster here who dated in their 20s. Happy and fulfilling - if you're capable of meeting a purity bar almost nobody has to meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:56 PM
16

Women aren't self-deleting at 4x the rate of men. Who do you think receives more empathy, generally?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:34 AM
31

"no you are"
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:23 AM
1

Comment I was responding to was suggesting people should be happy waiting until 50 to find an SO.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:17 AM
4

Ahh okay. This is satirizing red pillers who post here about 'separate rules for Chad and Billy Beta' or some such. At least let's hope it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:03 AM
2

Some of us don't want to be treated like a utility figure. That goes regardless of how attractive someone is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 09:56 AM
2

And yet a quick look at your post history shows that you have BDSM type sex with men. How does that work? No principles?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 05:28 AM
0

Someone's bitter. Women over 20 are women. Biologically speaking they're fully adult and psychologically they're developed enough to not pass as "children" unless they're horribly immature for their ages (whatever the ethics of an age gap). Fact is most men are most attracted to twenty-somethings no matter how old they are. Scream about it but it comes across as saltiness from older women beginning to experience invisibility (welcome to the club btw - this is average male experience)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 05:22 AM
1

"Supposed to" presupposes some sort of designed intent, which... What? It's an informal way of saying what we're adapted for as a species (along with other mammals). And when you look at the life stages of human beings it's obvious we are 'meant' - from an evolutionary perspective - to be pairing up in the first half of adult life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 01:45 AM
–

And if your delusion helps you cope, then continue. Some of us has been invisible all our lives (and dealt with it without trying to attraction police others).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:49 PM
-2

Because it isn’t socially acceptable. They’d be labelled creeps. It would be very unlikely to happen. The huge hassle to convince her family etc. Even then they would probably find a 20 year old annoying. However, if they could date 25-30-year-old's (which is still unlikely) in preference to a 40-year-old woman they probably would. And none of this changes the fact that appearances and lifestyles are on sharp decline past 40. Who wants to start a first relationship when everyone’s tired and over…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:30 PM
5

The data shows men staying most physically attracted to women in their 20s, so that's "normal" regardless of how you feel about it. As to what we're still capable of finding attractive at a later age, arguably there's an upper limit on that, even for women. (Most of the single men in my age group are broken down slobs and I couldn't care less if women my age wanted to date younger men.) We're supposed to be young or young-ish, healthy and full of life and energy when we pair up, then age togethe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:12 PM
4

Of course there is. Most people aren't attractive or energetic/fun at 50. Just because it's possible doesn't mean we should want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:31 PM
4

A. The social norms for people to marry early applied to both genders (but women had to economically depend on a husband) B. The vast majority of men have never been able to "procure" young hot trophy wives. People paired up by mid twenties with someone of similar age/background/looks. C. You're not a mind reader- least of all for averagely situated men 80+ years ago. (They probably would have had enough sense to realize that living with someone who hates them isn't going to be a happy existence…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:24 PM
3

The older-adult virginity rate is still only about 1%.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 09:28 PM
-1

Killing a baby shortly before it's born, for no other reason than being unwanted, is grotesque, and probably a majority of doctors would not want to be involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 05:40 AM
-1

A fetus should have their lungs well developed enough to be able to live outside the uterus at the 6.5-7 mo mark. Even then, as long as it’s in utero I would not call it a person yet. You still need a succesul birth for that to happen. Thank you for pointing out the flaws in the argument, because if the only distinction here is inconvenience to the mother who has to carry and birth the child, then you're defining human status based on feelings towards that baby (i.e. whether it's wanted or not),…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 12:29 AM
0

So 10 minutes before it's born it has no human rights? The law in countries where abortion on demand is legal still wouldn't agree with that. And people on life support/ventilators should probably be worried then if 'live unassisted' were the basis for ignoring their human status. You don't actually care whether it counts as a person or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 12:06 AM
2

Even at the top of this thread... One post out of 140. This is the reaction lonely men receive everywhere, not just spaces like this. Make your posts public... ...You first.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 03:04 PM
7

Twisting this around. It's a reaction to women not wanting to 'date down.' Why invest time with someone you have no future with?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 10:39 AM
11

Men who are complaining about being single get called misogynistic because they say misogynistic things. Not because they're single. Yea no. Single men who can't date are frequently labelled misogynistic or told they have crap personalities or bad attitudes. That's pretty much the go-to criticism.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 04:55 AM
–

Are you kidding?? Whenever men my age admit to noticing twenty somethings, hell even sometimes late twenty/early thirty somethings, it is usually followed by people labelling it predatory, "gross" (or worse). We're expected to find plus-size or even morbid obesity appealing or else we're fatphobes. If we prefer other ethnic groups, we're fetishizing them; If we're white-European decent and prefer that group, then we're white supremacist. No physical preferences escape criticism if you're a strai…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 04:31 AM
–

No. Paying for the first few dates is fine. Beyond that it just feels like a transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 08:29 AM
2

I mean, you're comparing something that infringes on the rights of all reproductive age women at all times, to something else that would infringe on the rights of men in time of war, and then for a limited time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 06:03 AM
2

The obvious counter to this is that men most men will never be conscripted.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 05:25 AM
6

This isn't sex positivity. She's mentally ill with a desperate need to shock and get attention by any means.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 10:42 AM
1

Meaningful sexual relationships. Ahem.. yes, it's just so very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 07:56 AM
3

Women hovering around and behaving as a friend might towards a man they're attracted to is commonplace behaviour - it's probably the majority who behave passively like this. So in a sense this is judging men for behaving like women often do. I get it if someone spends months, or years weaseling their way into being a close confidant just to be in closer proximity - but the idea men have to act within a small window of time or else they're manipulative is obnoxious when it's coming from women who…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 07:25 AM
2

At least half the women posting here. People remain virgins because they're unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 05:37 AM
2

So according to PPD women, casual sex is both harmful to women while somehow still useful empowerment to protect against abusers who target the inexperienced. but it’s just misogynistic to have one gender expected to behave a certain way but it’s ok for the other Agreed, but let's not pretend a virgin man stating this preference wouldn't be labelled misogynistic as well. And this is why the male loneliness will continue, and more young men will find themselves unable to get into relationships Wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 05:26 AM
2

Sure it's infrequent because of both cultural norms and because women just infrequently out earn men. Women already out-earn men in several major cities across the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 01:17 AM
2

Women are "dating down" more than they ever have in any other time in history. Which is to say still infrequently, at least when you mean dating outside of socioeconomic class. Similar income isn't "dating down" and this is about more than income. How many college grad women here would rather sleep on a bed of nails than date a blue collar working class male? Think about how often they frame that as a problem with not enough "eligible" (i,e. college educated professional) men in the media, how m…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 12:03 AM
0

Convenient, considering the continued social norm for men to ask first and continue initiating and planning dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:44 PM
6

Sort of agree. There's a difference between playing off foreigner novelty while offering a lifestyle upgrade, and outright exploitation. But as long as this isn't someone living in poverty (and admittedly it often is) then I don't see the issue. And wealthy men in the west date middle-class women all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 07:15 PM
2

Well if we wanted to use statistics, then someone may as well point out that 25-35% of regular porn consumers (including violent porn) are female, up to 40% of student sexual abuse involves female perpetrators according to some studies, along with the fact men work longer hours on average and longer still if they're the breadwinner. Men are also largely responsible for you (we) having the privilege of running water, electricity and broadband supplied to our homes while our poop is cleanly flushe…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 05:54 AM
2

We're not The Borg. Making men individually responsible for a minority isn't illuminating of anything, it's just a tired collective blame argument that gets spammed to justify contempt when men "whine" and display unmasculine behaviours. And people have innate (i.e. evolved) biases towards women. So the only contact men have with children, when they aren't ignoring them to watch sports and play video games, is when they're sexually assaulting them. Unhinged. Plenty of decent fathers. Anything th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 01:40 AM
5

Lol at this deranged copypasta. Women do not volunteer at vastly higher rates than men (29% vs 23% in the US, higher and closer to equal in other countries). Now factor in the reality that men are going to be reticent about volunteering with anything involving children. Fact is the majority of young women aren't contributing to or engaging with community any more than young men, and are suffering from a loneliness crisis too according to every metric.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 12:43 AM
1

Make a habit of hanging around high schools? (Should someone inform the authorities?) Bullying has been a fact of male-male interaction since forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 12:23 AM
5

That's female privilege speaking. You might get away with talking to strangers in public; most men would know they'd be labelled creeps or weirdoes if they tried it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 10:49 PM
5

Half of those are irregular or one-off events. JFC. Do you want to be approached and talked to by strangers at a fair? In a park? At a concert?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:24 PM
4

I've been going to meetup events for about 8 years now. Attendance rates plummeted after the last lockdown. Most of the social events have half the numbers even compared to just 3 years ago. The photography/hobby groups are dead. All the active book clubs and about half the hiking groups are female only (eeww gross losers might hit on us...) This is in a city of 2 million btw. Meetups are a revolving door of people on temporary work visas or people networking for career connections you never see…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:00 PM
1

They've been told not to. Particularly if there's **gasp** evil ulterior motives involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 06:01 AM
6

...Nah you're just playing into their narrative that men are dumb animals worshipping at the temple of poon. The reason a lot of men don't try is because they were bullied within an inch of their lives during their teens. Humiliated if they tried to talk to girls. Insulted, degraded, mocked by other guys and would prefer to stay in their safe spaces now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 05:32 AM
22

More people are lonelier today than 20 year's ago but dwindling third spaces and lower participation in group activities - team sports for eg - hits men more as male friendships are usually context-based Always being the one to initiate, send invites, etc. starts to look desperate after a while Online friendships are functionally very different and don't count towards meeting a partner IRL In mixed social groups, particularly couples, women are suspicious of unattached men Bullying is still a th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 04:23 AM
11

Yea exactly, where were all the 'moderate' women when this was being shouted over the social media for the last 10-15 years?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 03:29 AM
5

Work? You're telling men to initially remain passive and wait until women 'hover' around them as a necessary green light. That doesn't happen for a lot of men, even reasonable looking guys with social circles. Going black pill would be the only option if they followed these rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 11:41 PM
3

And if none of that ever happens, what then? Remain a foreveralone permavirgin? Many men will never be on the receiving end of these semi-mythical signals, let alone flirting.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 10:19 PM
8

The problem is men are expected to initiate. Whether that's inadvisable cold approaching or asking an acquaintance out, they still have to do it. Because women won't. That puts men under scrutiny as an inevitable part of fulfilling their gender role. So while we should empathize with women's fears and be aware of our own behavior, until women/feminists start to change the script around who approaches - and it doesn't seem like they want to change that script - it's inevitable that 'innocent' men…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 10:12 PM
-1

Consent is not required just to start a conversation with someone. Perhaps we should just act like adults and accept that some unwanted interest is inevitable, that people should deal with it without losing their minds rather than giving more license to make erroneous accusations.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 11:51 AM
13

If you instead you let a half hour go by, it's basically now repulsive. Great example of why men don't want to play his awful game 2025.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:43 AM
1

The US has a two-party political system. There are no popular alternatives, meaning, if they lean traditional, chances are they will end up voting Trump or for the next Trump-like figure, despite the anti-immigrant rhetoric. (Which was always hot air to scoop up the redneck vote anyway - neoliberals are in favour of immigration because it suppresses wages and conditions for workers by flooding the market with labour.) The so-called left ignores the realities of why we need to rely on immigrants …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:45 AM
3

It's worth pointing out here that migration to compensate for declining birthrates would be coming mostly from conservative cultures with traditional family structures, more rigid gender norms and expectations for people to settle down and have kids early (hence their higher birthrates) These people won't automatically fall in line with progressive values just because the so-called left claims to be the non-racist end of the political spectrum. Many of them end up voting Republican/Conservative.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 02:15 PM
6

Why should anyone be shielded from harsh criticism? It's not the kind of criticism everyone deals with though is it. The onus falls on one group to deal with that while the other gets to remain passive and avoid that altogether while romantic partners appear for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 11:08 AM
9

Not sure what you mean here. I'm speaking more generally. Being respectful or waiting until a platonic connection forms won't shield someone from harsh criticism if it turns out to be unreciprocated.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:49 AM
2

Maybe you just don't understand what ethical means.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:11 AM
24

The issue is a lot of women can't tolerate the idea of interest from men they aren't already attracted to no matter the context, familiarity level, or manner of it and attempts to strike up platonic conversation and create rapport will often just be seen as devious and framed in an even more negative way, than for eg. 'let's go back to my apartment' (which at least gives an impression of direct, confident masculine type behaviour that's likely to get some begrudging respect from certain women, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:01 AM
2

Stage of life judgements are subjective and influenced by individual life experience, but that's not the real issue: it's whether the younger party can be manipulated based on very limited life experience and undeveloped critical thinking skills. A normal mentally functional 30 year old can't be manipulated like that and it's kind of ridiculous to think they could be. A 30 year old could date a 60 yo, and while subjectively icky, ethically it's still a non-issue. The people who lose it over non …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:41 AM
2

A lot of women here are incredibly bitter and hateful as well but that is a far cry from advocating violence. Dangerous men are in out of relationships IRL all the time. It's easy to spot men who dominate others; You pick up on it if you went through bullying.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:12 AM
4

I don't notice those comments here, or even on black pill spaces full of lonely guys. You're talking extreme incel spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:43 AM
7

Halo Bias in other words.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:31 AM
7

You'd need to define 'toxic' first. Having a generally shitty or negative attitude online isn't limited to any one group. The average garden variety misogynist or arrogant arsehole has no problem getting into relationships with women because as the OP points out, those type of guys tend to be confident, take risks and shoot their shot at every opportunity without concerns about crossing boundaries or making others uncomfortable. Women are generally attracted enough to confidence that they're oft…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:28 AM
13

Ah yes. The 'ol Catch 22: The need to be genuinely confident in order to get the necessary experience... in order to be genuinely confident. Experience required in order to get experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:19 AM
3

This'll probably draw some hostile responses. Many single women his age have let themselves go badly and some of us can't force an attraction to unfeminine appearances. Of course, attractive older women exist, and plenty of guys are in dreadful physical condition at 40, but dating is a probability game and if you keep yourself in good shape but the only options in your age range seem to be people who don't, then looking towards a younger group is an obvious next option. Bitterness towards men wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 03:15 AM
2

Someone more than 5 years younger than you doesn't automatically mean they look or behave like a child, To suggest a 40 year old dating a 30 year old is like an adult dating a child is pretty absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 02:52 AM
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I can respect that a young adult is an adult, and also fear for someone who, in a specific situation, may be intentionally targetting this young adult for their lack of experience. So in the case of totally inexperienced men in their mid- late 20s. 30s or 40s dating women with years to decades of relationship experience over them, you're going to intercede on their behalf? Warn them about the kinds of women drawn to hapless guys without the first clue around how to hold their own in a relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 12:31 AM
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Modern feminism is basically Female Dating Strategy with a few pseudo-intellectual ideas and buzzwords thrown in.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 08:09 PM
2

3-10% of rape allegations are judged to be questionable (either malicious or don't meet the legal definition of rape). That's significantly higher than false reporting of other crimes. Minority? Yes, but not a tiny minority, and if the presumption of innocence were gone it would likely be higher. The vast majority of claimed victims, regardless of how honest or not they are, get nothing positive and lots of pain out of the ordeal. Silly statement. If the allegation is false then what they 'gain'…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:31 AM
4

A lot of people can't spell well enough to be airing opinions with such monotonous frequency.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 03:24 AM
5

There any data showing older virgin/inexperienced males are more likely to be deviant, beyond women's personal ick response to those men? Considering the majority of violence towards women is by far and away intimate partner violence it's a rather bold claim, if you're actually being serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 10:01 PM
3

We're never going to see any widespread reverting back to so-called communitarian values because a relationship based on obligation comes with these kind of downsides. Obviously women don't want to be stuck with an abuser or an outright loser, but neither do most men want to live with a woman who deeply resents them. It's a guaranteed dead bedroom and hellish daily existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 08:25 AM
1

Who has that benefitted? The US median income barely covers living costs in any major city. Highest incarceration rate in the OECD. Shorter life expectancy than the countries mentioned. More vacant houses than homeless. Practically criminal health insurance industry, when other countries fund health care from taxation or government run insurance. On top of that you have some of the highest levels of taxation on the middle class when federal and consumption taxes are factored in.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 10:28 AM
1

There's no reason the US couldn't move at least closer to the type of social democracies of the UK, Canada or Australia. Subsidizing freeriders is an inevitable downside, but the US does it already and with a high amount of waste.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:21 AM
2

Do they get paid for that? Reasonable people are busy living their lives offline, they don't have time engage in quazi moderation activities in random comment sections or subreddits.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:12 AM
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By far the biggest threat to women are their partners. You're off-the-cuff demonizing is pretty funny. Nice guys tend to be incredibly inhibited along with everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 10:09 AM
1

You = sample size of one. And 25 is not 35, or 45.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 08:04 AM
3

You're responsible for deciding whether the other party is being honest or not. There's no coercive pressure being applied. You're making a free choice. JFC... I really don't get why this is so hard for people to grasp. Because it's nonsense and no legal system anywhere would define consent that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:56 AM
2

Right. And emotional manipulation would mean the kind of behaviours abusers engage in with their partners. Serious and relentless wearing down of someone. Refusing to 'out' yourself as a virgin, or faking intentions would never count in that category, let alone count as criminal coercion. Lying is not coercion. That's called being a shitty person.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:49 AM
3

No, it isn't, and you don't understand what coercion is. People aren't owed a complete backstory from their sexual partners. You take your chances when hooking up. Their background or intentions may not be to your liking. They might be lying about something. That's called being an adult and accepting the consequences of that decision. Can't accept that? Don't have sex with someone you barely know. The only way it stops being consensual is when there's an STD i.e. something that could cause physi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:34 AM
2

The reason there's an obsession with losing it is because it's a huge red flag for men past 25. Past 30 an older virgin man might as well be on the sex offender register as far as many women's perceptions of him are concerned. At best it's like buying an expensive off-brand item off an Amazon without any user reviews. Why do it when there's better - or safer - options? That said, using someone like that, you aren't attracted to is horrible for both people involved. And a sex worker has all sorts…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:19 AM
5

"well if we're equal then I don't have any unique responsibility in this arena and it's equally likely that women approach/pursue me." Lies are usually more harmful than unpalatable truths.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 06:00 AM
10

and provide That's a masculine role FFS.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 05:21 AM
39

It's probably the case that a largish % of men simply aren't cut out for their gender role when it comes to approaching, flirting, 'courtship' (antiquated term), particularly now that women aren't pressured into settling for them. Whereas in the past they might have had a reasonable chance of finding partners, Women don't need to "build attraction" the way men do. Men are visual or just concerned with the basics of compatibility ('do we get along and have enough in common', 'does she like me;): …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 03:39 AM
7

Women don't need to "build attraction." Men are visual or concerned with basic compatibility: we don't place much importance on traits like confidence since we're not hardwired to seek out protection and provision. The female equivalent live similar lives to what you described in that final paragraph - Except they're more welcome in social spaces and people are willing to bring them out of their shells. Eventually most will get asked out by men who take the initiative for them. Shyness only beco…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 09:05 PM
5

And you'd still be giving a truckload of sexist bootstrap advice while the female equivalent of those young men get to remain socially inhibited wallflowers with willing partners showing up for them. A certain % of men simply aren't cut out for their gender role.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:16 PM
12

Give the smug just-so advice a break. There aren't women lining up to date socially awkward guys like the OP if only he left the house and loosened up a bit. In his case it probably means overcoming the fallout from adolescent bullying plus years of isolation, to take on a gender role he's currently very ill-suited for. To go from being a shadow of a man with no confidence, to flirting and 'reading signals' is an insane leap. And he's doing this at a point in life when people have done all that …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:32 PM
3

It's more than average for your age, which makes it even more ironic and laughable to be throwing stones.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:09 PM
2

Talking to them is like talking to a child. They don’t approach but cruelly judge low status men's difficulty in doing this.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:41 PM
1

To me, as long as you’re somewhat attracted, That's the problem though isn't it. If you're a genuinely unappealing specimen yourself chances are you won't be 'somewhat' attracted to your match. Now add widespread obesity into the mix and that minimum necessity attraction is actually an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:45 AM
1

Right, and who else would they be messaging? The top few % of men they know they would have zero chance with? Women send one tenth the messages men do. The minority of women who message first are going to be more desperate and less picky to start with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:10 AM
6

How do you think that happens in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:08 AM
6

Not just about sex though is it. Nothing good about 30 + men being dateless and 12 + years behind women their ages (who already mature earlier).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:03 AM
13

Next level strawmanning
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:57 AM
2

Respect your honesty and keeping calm despite the tone of the replies.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:53 AM
15

One long-winded cope. A significant % of women don't seem to be interested in dating becauseof a lack of attraction to their options. Historically a large % of men have always missed out. Now we're hearing from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:30 AM
1

Perhaps you aren't a representative sample.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:29 AM
7

And this is coming from a group who typically won't even need to get up the gumption to ask a man out once in their lives...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 09:28 AM
0

None of the "labor" women complain about having to do is mandatory either. Relationships aren't required. Yet we're a sexually reproducing species hardwired to seek out companions.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 09:16 AM
2

46 year old virgin male here who doesn't need delusional copes to function. Believing virginity is common is cope.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 07:56 AM
3

For women it's estimated 1 in 4 for SA. 1 in 7 for completed rape. For men it's 1 in 4 and 1 in 33 (about 80% of that involves women as perpetrators). The vast majority of sexual assaults go unpunished, so I'd always err towards believing the apparent victim while still supporting the presumption of innocence and due process as necessary. 'Believe all women' is kind of sexist because as you can see there's a not insignificant number of male victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 12:19 AM
7

Being falsely accused IS being the victim of a crime. The false reporting rate for alleged sexual assault is up to 10%, which is higher than other crimes (2%). This would likely be higher still if the presumption of innocence principle were done away with. Erring on the side of the accuser is different from a blanket blind assumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:55 PM
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They're already fairly well valued and yet we still need migrants to fill those roles (and these people are coming from conservative cultures). A good income won't compensate for an empty life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 11:00 PM
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Except record numbers of men are becoming NEET or sticking to low stress work now in the knowledge they will likely never have a gf/marry. The prospect of an empty personal life tends to hurt people's general motivation around work and self-improvement. And while I don't support a return to the coercive norms of the past there's no obvious solution to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 09:56 PM
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There's a stigma around being a lonely virgin loser male who hasn't been 'vouched for' by women too. Somehow, those guys manage though. Life goes on. It doesn't stop them from making a living, just like being single didn't for women in tbe 90s. As if anyone's going to enter into a sexual relationship with someone they feel zero attraction towards without serious coercive force being applied. The main difference then (80s/90s) to now is the endless validation and perceived options average women h…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:07 PM
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They still rely on them...To bring power/running water/internet access to their homes, doing dangerous and dirty jobs they would rather not. Fact is we all rely on men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 07:55 PM
4

Unless it comes with potential serious social consequences like being labelled a predator for asking the wrong person out.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 08:58 PM
17

This place is getting weirdly extreme.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 08:51 AM
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That'll only lead to more men becoming foreveralone. This is not attractive to the majority of women no matter how much feminists insist on role reversal as a solution.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 11:01 PM
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Women want provider partners because that's what they're attracted to. Being feminine and nurturing won't make a man attractive. That's a politically correct lie. Masculine leaning women in corporate jobs still get partners but feminine leaning men who work in caregiving type jobs would struggle - definitely if they intend to be stay-at-home-dads - most women aren't going to be on-board with that, We cannot expand our role like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 10:42 PM
5

Link to the study? Common, it's an incredible claim otherwise. Men who say this would probably run screaming from the responsibilities of their grandfathers/great grandfathers. People had no youth. They started work early. Men were drafted. No college education for most. No 'overseas experience' either. No wasting years gaming in arrested development phase, whinging online. Their status as husbands and fathers came with sacrifices most of us couldn't imagine, and just from a selfish/amoral persp…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 03:14 AM
1

Lesbians are close to twice as likely as straight couples to be divorced after 10 years (41% vs 22%).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 09:57 AM
2

Like I said I don't think men want that if it's coming from something inherently negative ("Women consider us dangerous") We already hear enough of it. You wouldn't expect African Americans to want to do that would you? Gender segregated socializing is also kind of absurd when you consider the so-called dating drought, OLD being shit show and the all-too common advice to meet someone "organically."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 10:48 PM
1

Women vote right because of individual values or economic interests. Female landlords aren't voting right because they want to be 'pick-me's' to the patriarchy FFS.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 07:39 AM
6

You look at it from the perspective of being accepted in most situations and receiving benefit of the doubt. Not our experience. Every time we open meetup and see dozens of women only groups packed with people who don't want isolated straight males around, we are reminded of where we stand. It's understandable why women do this, and yes men could create their own groups/spaces. But hazard a guess we'd rather not if the primary reason for having to is being perceived as a threat. 25+ single/unvou…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 06:00 AM
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Men don't value confidence/assertiveness in a partner the way women do as a desirable masculine trait. Shy avoidant women have partners while their male equivalents spend their lives alone. Not to invalidate your experiences, but it doesn't result in a life sentence of being undatable and you can find community with other women, which is typically not an option for shy men (leads to more bullying unless they limit it to other guys like them)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 06:16 AM
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If lower tier women dont want to pair with their male equivalents, with some reasonable hypergamy factored in, I suspect it is because they don't find those men sufficiently sexually attractive Yea that's it, and it goes for everyone. In previous generations people were expected to settle, which would mean matching with people on their level and making the best of it. And women had far less autonomy around this, obviously. Not any more. So if the attraction bar of i.e. the bare minimum attractio…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 11:12 PM
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I’d have no problem with a friend asking me out on a date—I’d only be hurt if he only wanted to date me and didn’t want to continue being friends if I either wasn’t interested in dating at all, A lot of women see it as a betrayal of trust. Worst case a man faces being pushed out of a social circle if his friend's reaction is bad enough. Saying women aren't a monolith isn't helpful because we choose our actions based on predicted outcome and consensus opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 10:46 PM
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These are spaces for dissatisfied people to lash out or virtue signal for brownie points. Very few people with happy lives post here. Hoping to find dates in any social situation is acceptable, just don't make it blatantly obvious that's what you're doing. Being subtle about it is not that difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 12:14 PM
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To marry a woman, look her in the eyes every day and say "youre the one for me" all while believing she is a participation trophy rewarded at the end of a string of failures Agree with the general point i.e. we're all flawed, relationships require work whoever it's with and whoever you invest emotionally in will be special in the sense that they are the person you have chosen to commit to. But the quoted part is an unavoidable perception If it's something like 10-15 years of continuous rejection…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 06:47 AM
2

...a smallish percentage of desirable men with higher than average partner counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 10:32 PM
6

It's representative of an overall pattern of disparity. The great majority of adult men aren't virgins of course but they'll have far fewer perceived options and more limited experience by a certain age, particularly with gen z.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 02:00 AM
4

And they'd be rightfully annoyed if the playing field were level, but any average looking woman will have vastly easier access to both casual encounters and long term relationships than her male equivalent. It's not a debate at this point, it's obvious from the adult virginity and age of first partner stats. Men are 2-3 times more likely to be virgins past 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 12:48 AM
1

Who exactly are you talking to? We're not a collective here. I don't have a problem with women rejecting me for any reason whatsoever including appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 05:26 AM
1

Many women would prefer handsome and tall(er) as an a priori requirement before character traits get to count. Nothing wrong with that, most people need to be physically attracted first. How about just being honest about it though instead of engaging in some dubious ad-hoc rationale?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 02:18 AM
0

Weak analogy. Women don't even need to look at their inboxes. You aren't approached by anyone at the party if you prefer not.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 09:23 AM
1

Let's say a moderately attractive woman takes the plunge and downloads an app. Her inbox is immediately flooded, and she quickly suspects from the plethora of low effort and even sexually explicit messages that reached her first that she has made a mistake. Deletes and moves on with her life. Yeah the guys who are trying to put in effort and communicate like a normal human being may not get to contribute to her first impression of the app as much because they are slower and outnumbered, as we ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 08:50 AM
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Plenty of men don't start gyming it until their late 20s or 30s. Their biological potential is highest in their 20s (no denying it) but they still look better now vs then, and under 22 a lot men look immature with fat hiding their facial structure. Your friends just gave up.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 01:59 AM
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The chance of having a baby with Down Syndrome increases from 1/1300 at maternal age 25 vs 1/350 by 35. That's a 270% increase in ten years. At 45 it's 1 in 30. Maybe bother to do so some research before making laughable assertions.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 01:40 AM
2

"if you think it’ll work." was in the context of women getting the long term relationship they wanted from the outset without any misrepresentation or lying. If he's deliberately stringing women who wanted a relationship along for sex, lying about his goal or priorities, cheating on a partner, etc. and generalizing that behaviour to all/most men, then you would have a valid point. Otherwise your point just relies on subjective moral arguments along lines of 'casual hookups are harmful because I …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 10:07 PM
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If it's as common and universal as women on these spaces say it's something you would observe eventually. This isn't illegal behavior on the level of sexual assault or criminal harassment. Male = active party is the gendered aspect and what most women expect during dating. The frustration is because it's one-sided not because we must 'do things.'
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 08:13 PM
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I have never witnessed another man approaching and telling a woman to smile. Perhaps this is more common in the US? As you can clearly see from the other comments under this post, men would enjoy a "smile" interaction with women. It's interpreted by these attention-starved men as a woman conversing with them and caring about them in some way. Which should at least be understandable as a private desire. People appreciate attention from those they want attention from. Lonely people want validation…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:45 AM
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This reticence has also spilled into social settings where most women still expect to be asked out.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:28 AM
1

If you're looking for long term commitment, then waiting is just common sense; it doesn't require a dumb 'strategy.' This is so obvious that the only conclusion here is these women were sufficiently aware of where they stood when they jumped in the sack with OP, or were specifically looking for casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 10:09 AM
3

Yea +1 to this. OP is offended she has to breath the same air as these guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 04:56 AM
1

It's more about it making men unattractive, since that holds a mirror up to women's preferences and a widespread lie that gets pushed by society ('good people find partners')
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 08:37 PM
1

Being a broken down slob is always a choice. Our loneliness is ultimately ours to deal with not make other people's problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:59 AM
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There's quite a significant difference between being found somewhat attractive and being settled for by someone who feels zero or barely any attraction towards you, and all the problems that go with that, which don't need explaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 01:24 PM
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If this guy makes it to middle age and women haven’t been picking him for the last decade and a half, there’s an extremely high chance there is something about him that’s unattractive. If he will only settle for a woman that has a reasonable amount of genuine sexual attraction for him, it’s more likely that he could be at least somewhat attractive to a woman who’s 30 than one who is 24. Women are shown to be actually more attracted to their own age, and men more attracted to younger women. Contr…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 12:25 PM
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By implication that would mean older women who would date such men are settling for them because of their own dwindling options. Nobody wants that for a first relationship. A delusional fantasy almost seems better.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 11:13 AM
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9Find something better suited? Lol. Those men wouldn't have the ability to be this picky. Needless to say they're not the types who can date significantly younger women either. Even if they looked 25 and suddenly became attractive by every other metric - they are socially/emotionally stunted by 30-35. Someone who fails to have crucial experiences by mid 20s won't be overflowing with choices in their 30s. A woman who wants to settle down quickly with a clear timeframe in mind might be the only op…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 11:05 AM
1

Bullying and humiliation in adolescence has negative impacts on everyone on the receiving end of it, but more downstream effects on adult men's dating lives because they're expected to be confident, initiate, deal with frequent rejection and lead interactions. Even after a major gym looks and wardrobe upgrade, low confidence will be dogging a lot these men. They'll probably be woefully inexperienced for their ages on top of everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 10:45 AM
3

Guarantee you'd feel differently if you waited until late 30s/40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 06:14 AM
4

It's common knowledge that men have a biological clock. A 70 year old man has 1/20 sperm that are genetically abnormal compared to 1/50 for a 20 something. ...But that means a 70 year old still has a 95% chance of fathering healthy children (assuming he's not impotent) whereas most women won't conceive past 40. Checking out the FDS lunacy was funny though.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 04:00 AM
2

It does decline with age brah... Please stop feeding the misandrists here ammunition with this 'muh needs' drivel. This is not an overwhelming drive that overrides reason and self-control. To argue otherwise has disturbing implications. (Source: I'm a 46M virgin who has dealt with this for decades.)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 01:58 AM
9

Going by acounts from high functioning autistic men, they end up coming across as passive and second-guessing everything, which is going to appear unmasculine and unappealing to the majority of straight women. And even the expectation to initiate would be too high a barrier so it would rarely get to the point where their style of interacting is the factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 08:20 PM
2

People like you are the reason men don't speak up.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 03:47 AM
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Young people. That changes abruptly with age.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:01 AM
1

There are no objective. quantifiable traits that clearly designate someone as average - at least not in attractiveness terms. Men being average in many respects won't mean average women will find them attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 07:06 AM
2

Then who would bring power, internet and water to your home? Make sure sewage is pumped away and treated. Build houses, roads, rail, infrastructure, etc. The type of work women aren't typically clamoring to get into And who's going to pay for all these losers to sit at home all day. Is that even an option?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 07:36 PM
1

Exceptions don't disprove a general trend.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 11:02 AM
1

"[Insert minority ethnicity] are morally and intellectually inferior - except for my SO - they're an exception!"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 11:41 AM
6

Not 'you' specifically, but older virginity in men is widely mocked as the ultimate signpost of loser status. As to your question in the OP - For the majority of men there is no choice but to ask out/pursue women unless they want to spend their lives alone. Women generally are only willing to pursue of small % of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 06:00 AM
7

Plenty of men are rarely in a position where their personality gets to count for much one way or the other, particularly on the apps. And that 60% figure fails to mention only a small % of women message first (<10%) You're talking about a minority who have to lower their standards
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 04:32 AM
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It's used in all sorts of contexts outside of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 05:29 PM
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Well now it's your turn to be catered to. We all know there'd be outcry and disgust if the genders were flipped on this bit of harmless silliness. https://youtu.be/SHSHsLzO8W4
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 12:24 PM
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No, what annoys is terms like the male gaze, as if women don't also have a 'gaze' and aren't in possession of superficial preferences. Debating would be a lot more worthwhile if everyone dropped the pretence of moral superiority.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 10:59 AM
5

How badly have Democrats dropped the ball that they can't even sell themselves as the less awful option.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 07:48 AM
1

Good luck trying to hold down a job in IT or customer service without a phone and a laptop.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 10:32 PM
4

So men need to do the same and demand to stay at home and look after the kids if that is what they want. Change social expectations. Women drove those social changes knowing they could still find partners once they were able to choose the career option. That just doesn't apply to men becoming house hubbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:16 AM
1

Doesn't apply at those ages (assuming they started dating recently). Maybe they should just deal with the loss of power/visibility like vast numbers of short/shy/unmasculine men have had to since day one.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 07:32 AM
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...Or maybe it's his appearance, or not being assertive/masculine enough, despite being sufficiently social in other areas. Who/what we're attracted to isn't a character test or a moral standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 12:50 AM
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The majority of self-identifying incels are moderately left-wing politically. Non-white men are also slightly overrepresented, so this is not an entitled white male issue either like it's often framed as. Not surprisingly, lunatics who post on 4Chan aren't representative. But then that goes against a useful narrative used to broad-brush paint romantically invisible men a certain way. William Costello is a good source of info. https://youtu.be/NeL_jc1T_KI?si=D5kjxEzrkGJt5tww
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 12:43 AM
5

Women in their mid-late 20s pairing up with men in their early 30s is the main reason for those figures. Some guys finally get their lives on track by that time. And let's be honest, much of Gen Z would be identifying as LGBGT because it's trendy. More women because there's still quite a bit of anti gay male homophobia about in society - add to that the fact that even bi women generally don't date bi men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:32 AM
3

My male friends range from late 20s to 50s. This isn't unusual for guys. You can relate to most adults at various stages of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 08:37 PM
0

...Even if you were attracted the same or similar 20%, so what? Most men are out-of-shape badly dressed slobs so it's not like that's surprising.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 04:13 AM
2

...I wouldn't call him attractive. He was smallish and feminine looking, and bullied quite a bit for being mixed race. Certainly privileged in other ways though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 06:13 AM
1

You don't need to do the approaching: It's a choice, not a mandatory gender role for you. What would you possibly know? Just the suggestion a man has made so-and-so uncomfortable in a social circle can result in him being unceremoniously dumped from that circle, smeared among acquaintances, even impact his career.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 06:04 AM
1

Chad does have to be enjoyable company, that's part of what makes him Chad. But it's more to do with being entertaining and engaging.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 11:07 PM
3

I think your tag needs updating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 11:01 PM
11

Bitter people usually don't start out bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 10:50 PM
1

If like a woman in her 60's was attracted to men in their 30's, I'd understand that. There's very few attractive men in their 60's. Goes without saying that if a man in his 60's were to openly express a preference for the physical appearance of 30 something's enraged women his age would be lining up to label him anything they could think of, including some of the pejoratives used if it were an 18 yo girl. Older men don't feel inclined to pile on the shaming because: a. Being generally less attra…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 06:34 AM
2

Your "league" is what you can pull at the current time. It's not a caste system. It's fluid. The main issue with "leagues" is the probability of meeting someone. About 75% of Americans are overweight or obese, meaning an acceptable dating pool of 25% for an in-shape otherwise average man who doesn't want to settle for an obese woman. Yet anyone with critical thinking skills would realize that doesn't mean that man is going to have access to that minority of women. Not when factoring in the likel…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 04:15 AM
2

So I know one male acquaintance in his 50s who's been married 10+ years and has kids with a Filipino woman. Perhaps I should tell him what a loser he is for his inauthentic relationship, how he's about to be boned in divorce court lol? Your persona here seems to be wrapped around overwrought attempts at dumping on other men for some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 06:08 PM
1

If she's living in poverty, sure, it's exploitative. If it's just a case of him representing an 'upgrade' to an already acceptable living standard then not an ethical problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 05:48 PM
2

Doesn't it occur that If these are older men, they probably don't want women their ages, or women in their league, or still hold out hope for a family. Their options at home might be overweight middle aged women or some open sugar daddy arrangement . It doesn't matter what kind of personality he has, a 50 yo isn't going to be dating or having a family with 20 somethings in the west. People will judge that, but calling someone a loser because they're not dating people they don't want to be dating…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 04:32 PM
13

...bitter much?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 04:19 PM
1

Technically that isn't polygyny, just casual hook-ups. The most common form of this is young women serial dating through the same minority of guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 01:11 PM
1

Kind of hard to see what "internal work" could be done to help a man get noticed on the apps or accepted into groups that actively work to keep unattached lonely men out. What you're essentially arguing is for lonely men to form their own self-contained communities - over there, away from others! Have to wonder if you'd say that for any other group in society.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 09:22 AM
1

What the hell is sustainable about the current situation of impending demographic collapse and widespread male opting out?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 08:40 AM
1

Hunter gatherers are small groups of limited size and cultural development. I'm going to take a wild guess you wouldn't really want to live in those groups if given a choice. They only seem idyllic from a romanticized outsider perspective. Anyone can point to examples of matriarchy and polyandry, but the majority of larger successful societies started off patriarchal in structure and monogamous for the majority of the population. If we look at certain ancestral groups, for example of Europeans -…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 07:03 AM
1

Skeletal remains show many ancient farming settlements on the brink of starvation. Then there's the high infant mortality rate of about 1/4 to 1/3. Monogamy doesn't mean the modern nuclear family unit model - establishing paternity however would be have been essential.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 06:11 AM
1

If u look up the history of monogamy the shift towards monogamy is linked to the rise of agriculture reenforced through social, cultural and religious institutions. So basically these social structures evolved to chain women to men for the sake of men knowing their children are theirs, access to sex, labour Early settled agricultural communities could support many more people - but it was at the cost of stricter social hierarchies and set-in-stone gender roles, the need for established paternity…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 05:34 AM
-2

Being pawned off as property to provide sexual and domestic service to men isn't happiness for women. The idea that these social structures evolved to chain women to the domestic sphere solely for the gratification of men is simplistic and doesn't address the problem of how children could have been raised in earlier societies that were on the edge of survival. And ideally choice needs to be based on verifiable information. How much of a choice does attempting to select a partner from a sea of st…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 03:50 AM
1

Not being attracted doesn't mean hating anyone. What is the point of arguing with someone who relentlessly plays victim cards because they disapprove of someone else's honest feelings that aren't even a choice? I'd imagine staying fit would be enough to remain attractive for most men in a committed relationship (and ideally they should remain fit too - both parties need to consider the other in that regard). Because there'd be an emotional bond and a social/psychological adjustment that happens …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 01:59 PM
–

Yeah the idea of men's appeal depending on criteria outside of appearance obviously works in the other direction too. It works in favour of outgoing, successful men with plenty of social proof. The flipside is if you have a complete lack of that social proof, it puts you in a such an undesirable category that you might only be able to date people you just couldn't find attractive at all, even if you happen to look okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 06:47 AM
–

Look up Christian Bale preparing for the role of Dick Cheney. Excess body fat has a huge effect on facial attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 06:14 AM
1

There’s no such thing as magic. 40 or 50 year old women cannot “any way they please” themselves into looking like 20 year olds ...They can avoid looking like Stay Puft, though, surely. The weight just worsens things. I see people of all shapes in the gym doing what they can with what they've got. Rarely women my age though. It appears they'd rather buy into delusional rhetoric, that among other things, argues that decent men won't have physical preferences. The reality is of course different. An…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 05:58 AM
–

This is why I'm not attempting to date as an older virgin. Considering the giant red flag inexperience at this age represents, my league, if I even had one, would likely be women who looked like Roseanne Barr in the '90s, and there's no forcing attraction. The bar can only go so low even if you yourself don't meet it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 04:24 AM
–

Let's ignore the various metrics around how to determine "league" and just focus on looks - it wouldn't be such a problem if most people kept themselves healthy and in shape. Sadly, that's not reality. An increasingly large % of people don't want their looks/desirability match.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 04:22 AM
1

What do you mean it’s “normalized” now? Like it’s normalized for women not to lull themselves when they get their first grey hair? Oh boo hoo for you, dude. Women at 40 today look better than ever thanks to modern medicine. That would be your opinion. They can look any way they please. It's their bodies/appearances. They don't have to appeal to men if they don't want to. They don't exist to please men. But if you expect partners to appear out of the ether, but can't at least keep yourself in sha…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 02:01 AM
3

Of course we want "hot" women (i.e. women we're capable of feeling minimum necessity attraction towards). Who the hell doesn't want someone they're attracted to? Older women are in the habit of letting themselves go completely and looking heavy and unfeminine. It's basically normalized now, even celebrated. If they've had kids, that's more understandable., But often the choice to look like that - while annoyingly still expecting romantic partners to show up and do all the initiating as if they'r…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 12:22 AM
0

Women are generally hypergamous i.e. their attraction based partly on the perception of status. There's at least a chance of women from those countries finding a foreigner appealing based on differences in standard of living, or novelty factor. Not that passport bros don't frequently get scammed, they do, but it would be more likely with lonely older woman trying it. Then there's the higher likelihood of cheating, STI's, great danger to personal safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 10:59 PM
8

I'm not concerned with guilting women into relationships they don't want. But the original meme was 'who would you rather be alone with' - not 'who would you rather be killed by.' So the probability of being killed is quite relevant. Now if they'd genuinely prefer an order-of-magnitude higher chance of being ripped apart by a 500kg wild animal, that's their prerogative.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 12:49 PM
10

Yes of course, but that also misses the point. A random sample of men will contain fewer dangerous individuals than a non random sample from men with the most "access."
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 12:34 PM
10

Men who victimize women are likely to seek out relationships and be in and out of relationships more frequently. There's higher probability just from that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 12:16 PM
1

You're the only one playing that game, You're the one who started listing off examples of some supposedly ascetic existence to prove how much of a hypocrite I am, so I'll just throw it back at you. Unless you really can't get another source of B12, you don't need to eat meat, okay. So just relieve yourself of that delusion. Again, you are the one who wants to guilt people watching porn and doing other things, not me, I couldn't care less, I'm just pointing out your hypocrisy. Avoiding porn doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 12:00 PM
24

The majority of violence towards women is either coming from partners or close male acquaintances. However the majority of attention around violence is still in the form of hyped up 'stranger danger.' So we get a bear vs man meme doing the rounds, playing up fears of random men being in the same general space as women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 11:22 AM
1

I can play the self-righteous game too. I buy my chicken... The meat I consume is very little and comes mainly from hunting. You're still contributing to the harm of sentient creatures in order to satisfy a taste for meat. Not judging, just pointing it out. I'm vegetarian btw so I can do that. I own a 10 years old smartphone and a 10 years old gaming pc Bought new, ten year's prior, and don't need replacing yet... but will be no-doubt the moment the components die. And you bought a gaming PC lol…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 10:43 AM
1

...are you doing any of the above?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 09:54 AM
1

The abuse isn't intrinsically tied to the activity being shown/portrayed in those media, and it's bordering on unreasonable to expect the viewer to research the production history of every mainstream movie/tv series they watch, let alone music, games, or other media.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 09:00 AM
0

Degrees of necessity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 08:50 AM
0

Males usually compete with other males for access to desirable females. FTFY. Refer to the obesity rate in western countries. Women/people elsewhere tend to look healthier and more attractive and any age. Some of these guys are scumbags though, no denying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 08:12 AM
1

There are virtually no consumer grade electronics that don't rely on offshore manufacturing and R&D. Even buying locally made clothing would be a tough ask and probably need to be by mail order.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 07:33 AM
3

TV and video games are generally produced under ethical conditions in the developed world.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 03:28 AM
3

This is muddying the waters. Nobody needs to look at porn. However we need to consume various goods/services produced under capitalism, which arguably could only be produced under capitalism.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 03:00 AM
0

We need - as in would have serious inconvenience living without - affordable clothing or consumer electronics produced in Asian countries. There aren't obvious alternatives to this right now. No widespread manufacturing of this technology in the west. Go ahead and try to buy a laptop where the components, the CPU, hard drive, everything is manufactured in Europe or North America...it isn't possible. We don't need to look at explicit content online. That is purely about gratification, so there's …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 02:16 AM
1

These same women expect the male voting block to line up... I don't think politics should be influenced one way or the other by whether you can get a date or not. That implies a lack of genuine principles, or a purely self-interested perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 11:00 PM
–

Peak fertility is mid 20s. The fact you had perverts hit on you at an obvious child stage doesn't mean men who still find 22 year old's attractive are pervs. And we wouldn't have trouble finding women our ages appealing if most of them didn't let themselves go completely and look like full sized Oompa Loompas by 35-40.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 10:43 AM
3

We're hardwired as a species to find certain things attractive. Society expresses or builds upon these underlying aesthetic preferences via beauty standards. That may in some cases veer into unhealthy extremes, but there wouldn't be beauty norms if those underlying preferences weren't already there.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 08:10 AM
2

My point was that there isn't a distinction between beauty standards and 'doing it for yourself' - the former informs the latter. Also I don't accept beauty as 100% a social construct. Certain types of appearances just are more aesthetically appealing than others. Makeup, building muscle tone etc. accentuate those appealing traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:57 AM
2

Wearing makeup doesn’t automatically mean it’s “for men” any more than men hitting the gym automatically means it’s “for women.” You'd be very naive to think that wasn't a major part of it; that what men/women find attractive doesn't partially dictate what we personally consider appealing for ourselves, even if we aren't doing it specifically to attract attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 01:36 AM
3

'Billy Betas' still get settled for whether or not the apps exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 10:55 AM
1

It’s way more likely that the guy in question is just not compatible with her for an LTR to work out, rather than it meaning that the woman must have an objectively horrible personality Which is so different from what romantically invisible men are told it's just about meme-worthy. Funny how even feminist leaning advice never involves telling women to approach men they feel some measure of compatibility with as a strategy to bypass some of the problem and avoid having to continuously vet men the…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 08:38 AM
2

That needs a few qualifiers. ...Shaming in response to a modern epidemic that imposes billions in health costs on to the rest of society. Shaming in response to people with an obviously disordered relationship with food. Yes, arguably people are owed - should have - a minimum of general respect in daily life. Nobody however is owed attraction and dating options showing up for them and all the positive messaging will not make people attracted to a physical form they haven't evolved to find aesthe…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 08:03 AM
3

You can add to that, the traits that form the biggest dealbreakers have little if any moral quality to them - More concerning they're actually incredibly common and seem to be increasingly so in the male population. Shyness, awkwardness and higher than average inhibition absolutely decimate men's dating options. It's autism, not psychopathy, that's the biggest predictor of lifelong singleness. And rather than just the describing the extremes that says something about the general spectrum of pref…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 08:57 AM
4

Do you ever bother talking at length with any of these "bad" men irl...or any man you a. aren't attracted to b. can't extract something from? Community? We live in capitalist democracies with atomized social structures. There isn't a pre-formed community waiting for every so-inclined person. Least of all for already socially isolated straight men.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 11:15 PM
2

A boyfriend dumping you and a long-term spouse ending things after you invested a decade + into the relationship - while not technically mistreating you - are very different scenarios. Taking a wild guess you wouldn't be wishing them well in the latter case or doing them any favours.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 10:25 PM
1

They absolutely are. Average young men's earning power (and therefore appeal as romantic partners) has been destroyed by neo-liberal policies.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:39 AM
7

Because many of them are young, gullible, angry, and fed a continuous diet of curated content that appeals to resentments, often while scapegoating immigrants or so-called lefties.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:28 AM
0

Those men are still virgins though - in every way that counts. It's in your interests to seem empathetic if that's your source of income, or if it makes it easier to get through it. What else would you say?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 07:42 AM
11

Maybe so, but as a 46 year old virgin who has barely had a date, I would with 100% certainty rather die this way. Imagine your only experiences are paid transactions with women you know find you repulsive. What is that going to do to someone with zero background validation and already non-existent self-esteem? Then it becomes a dirty secret that needs to be hidden if he does happen to find a partner afterward.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 07:36 AM
2

Agree. I'm saying how it is or appears from an observer's point of view. And this has just been my experience with trying to find male friends at this age; I can't imagine what it's like to pair up with a depressed, slovenly heavy drinking guy who clings to his comfort zone.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 12:24 AM
7

You've just described the majority of middle-aged men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 10:07 PM
1

I just don't think you can cleanly compare the swiping/liking/messaging behaviour of vastly different sized groups. Although to be fair, you'd expect men to be less picky than that given that they're usually on the apps as their only option.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:20 PM
1

If you cut out the spam like button behaviour, you'd still need to qualify that with number of likes from men vs women. Otherwise it's like comparing messaging behaviour between the genders when women only send 1/10 the messages. I don't have time to read the full census data right now so I'll take your word.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 02:15 PM
1

FYI there's a cap on the daily number of likes Hinge allows. The coupling stats from the Census Bureau matter, because despite how people swipe on dating apps, they continue to meet partners. For the time being until a substantial number of Gen Z men hit their late 20s with little or no dating experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 11:57 AM
–

So even if we allowed ourselves to describe the majority of 20 something men as 'sub average' in comparison to all men - that suggests they don't have the resources or career progression yet to successfully date. Still a far cry from them all being asocial basement dwellers though isn't it? It's almost as if young men are struggling with the same problems women their ages are struggling with - - job security, housing, cost of living etc. The only difference being it makes them undatable. As an a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:37 AM
–

I'm referring to the 2022 pew research data showing 60% of twenty something men as being single compared to 34% of women. There's also plenty of data on male sexlessness around that age. Guess I assumed that this was common knowledge around here, since it's been debated many times.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:03 AM
–

The unfortunate truth is that men will partner up with women they don't like at all if they have no other option Nope. I'm a 46 yo virgin who has barely had a date, however, you couldn't pay me enough to date the majority of women in my age group now. And yes I've had a couple of opportunities but I'd rather be alone than just have 'somebody.' Desperados exist in both genders but they aren't the norm. Dudes here love to say that women who date attractive men deserve to get treated poorly They do…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 01:59 AM
4

It's a stretch to argue for eg. that 60% of twenty-something men are neurodivergent sub-average specimens with no social lives gaming in their parents' basement all day, as if there weren't other social forces at play. But then as a member group who typically never need to approach or ask anyone out I suppose you might think this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 01:17 AM
3

It's probability. Most women who have bad experiences with men aren't going to post about it, or even know what Tea app is. A minority would. The more relationships a man has the more likely he'll happen across a woman who would post on Tea app about it. Hence if he's on there it's likely he's had many.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 11:18 PM
5

But on dating apps, a man can only rely on his looks to impress a woman and only the top 20% best looking men can do that. Other men need to make up for it in other ways, which they can't do in dating apps. Add to that, fewer ways for women to vet a man through shared social circles where she can observe his behaviour, how he interacts with others, etc. Almost all the problems with dating in 2025 are the result of dating apps. Because the apps are rapidly becoming the only socially acceptable pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 11:12 PM
3

You called it supporting evidence and framed it as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 10:09 PM
3

Yea and the fact you're talking like that - "fucking" etc. - suggests you're uninhibited. and probably around men who have fewer problems with women. Perhaps your friend circle isn't representative. (And to be fair, his probably isn't either.)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 10:00 PM
9

Nobody is arguing that the majority of men are virgins, however, if a man is posted on something like Tea app chances are he's already had many relationships/interactions with women in the same city/area. I.e. these guys are popular and desirable enough to get more than their fair share of interest. The wider issue with the app is the invasion of privacy and potential for smearing individuals post rejection or break-up.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 09:06 PM
2

Average men have never had the ability to replace their gf's/wives on a whim - at least not to anywhere near the extent an average woman has now just by jumping online for 10 minutes. Apex fallacy again.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 05:29 AM
3

The majority of straight women have never had to ask a man out in their entire lives, hence the smug just-so advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 01:54 AM
1

Plenty of men don't. Their skin routine amounts to bar soap in the shower; grooming means cutting their nails and maybe trimming the beard once every 3 weeks. Your wife and circle of friends are by definition a filtered non-representative group.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 01:47 AM
–

This is confusing physical attractiveness with personality traits. It's true that notably below average looking women are often ignored - and would have a harder time overcoming that given how men are more visually focused - but an average shy woman has many more options appearing in front of her than an average shy man. She won't need to cultivate certain behaviours/qualities that go against her innate personality to find a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 04:04 AM
–

Merely putting yourself out there would be a very low success strategy for average guys, let alone awkward/shy men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:49 AM
3

Late 20s women dating 30 + guys doesn't explain literally twice as many single men in their twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 10:38 PM
0

Making someone uncomfortable is different from making them genuinely scared. ANY kind of unwanted approach will make someone uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 07:56 AM
3

Workplace is an HR nightmare no-no, hobby groups "aren't for dating you loser" and most people don't regularly attend church or other community events any more.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 07:43 AM
2

So in other words you get to be a lazy princess while [The Right] men just know to perform their gender role on cue. Cause of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 02:03 AM
6

Healthy people men who are single and open to connection attract it by expressing themselves and allowing compatibility performing their gender role to guide their process in discovering potential partners. Fixed. Men can't hide behind social norms that allow them to remain passive. BTW almost everyone feels "entitled" to something as fundamental to our species and commonplace as this, whether they admit it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 06:22 AM
–

A good % of passport bros would be A. Men too old to have kids with women their ages and not in the minority able to date younger. B. Not liking their options at home, which realistically might be an overweight partner who is also settling (so why not be settled for by someone you can actually find attractive?).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 11:02 AM
–

It is very much a market...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 10:48 AM
2

Easier when you don't initiate. Yes I understand people's preferences and standards differ, and consensus on every situation is impossible, but wanting rules to operate by is about minimizing negative feelings when someone who rejects you also ends up thinking very negatively of you, including possibly feeling threatened by you. There aren't many experiences that result in such intense feelings of shame.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 12:33 PM
4

Yeah I obviously missed the post where you said all that... Consensus matters because men are expected to be active parties with dating, meaning their behavior comes under scrutiny. Even when women approach they aren't being judged with the same kind of criticism. It matters because serious judgements are being made that get passed on to others. The rules of social interaction operate in large part on consensus.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 11:27 AM
5

Because trust me, plenty of women and enbies who date men are also starved for connection, hate the apps and would love to be approached. And yet you don't do the approaching, which says it all doesn't it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 10:29 AM
6

Strawman, Nobody in the thread argued that women have to agree to dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 10:18 AM
2

You're the one making blanket judgments of others from a position of not usually having to do initiating yourself. Yea, it could actually take a year or two to work up the courage to ask someone out. Because not every man is a wellspring of masculine confidence, or he didn't feel like he knew here well enough, or the right situation never occurred. Deliberately trying to weasel your way into being a close confidant is one thing. Just being shy or a coward about is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:59 AM
3

If anything, women tend to think they look way worse than they actually do Lol. Considering they rate 80% of men below average that means they must think every other woman is a cave troll.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:49 AM
15

The common counter is that this can be perceived as a betrayal of trust by women, who might have thought they had a platonic friend when in reality the guy in question always had other motives. That romantic interest should be signaled early on for the sake of honesty etc. But not with cold approaching strangers either; within a limited timeframe with a new acquaintance. This of course creates a very limited range of circumstances in which to initiate.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 10:04 PM
4

Not in the US, and not anymore. It's increasingly frowned upon. Some workplaces even have explicit policies to deter coworkers dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 10:08 PM
2

These responses are providing ample evidence as to what the actual issue is likely to be. You come across as an insufferable jerk who employs buzzword laden rhetoric to put herself in control and make relationships entirely about herself, and you respond to criticism in the most childish 'if you disagree that proves my point' way, as if that were an actual argument. You're the consistent factor here. These guys just clearly had enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 10:19 AM
2

Some would be, some might not be. But you're not avoiding them for that reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 08:01 AM
-2

You've never been in male social circles so you have zero idea how men who have a history of using sex to boost their already huge egos talk about women. 'Discretion' is not the first thing that comes to mind. Just admit you don't want men other women don't want. We're not judging.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 07:57 AM
1

As opposed to a man who sees you as just another fuck. Sure. Whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 07:46 AM
28

We read it, we just don't believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 07:41 AM
5

So men who are used to getting what they want and using women as they please are LESS likely to objectify or talk badly about you? Whereas it's those evil sexually invisible types who actually pose the greater threat, cause they're like.... desperate and stuff, and.... ewww ick. That's some grade a Halo Bias you've got going there.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 07:39 AM
1

Clearly those women you mentioned wanted relationships, they're just invested in a fantasy of being pursued
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 04:08 PM
6

*are owed (my mistake) Women aren't owed men pursuing them while they sit back passively - particularly in the current social environment where men are judged creeps the moment they misread a situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 10:08 AM
5

So young women are owed suitors pursuing them? Those backwards ideals are part of why young men running to the manosphere in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:53 AM
1

For being unfairly slandered? Yes. Creep = sex offender in most people's minds.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:53 PM
2

Labeling someone a creep is basically slander if it's unwarranted. Yes it's legit to feel like a victim in that case.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 11:49 AM
2

Been doing that for about 7 years now.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 05:18 AM
2

Why is it so hard for you to believe that vast numbers of men have never been approached?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 04:30 AM
6

46 and in the same situation (KHV). One occasion - An overweight alcoholic friend-of-a-friend with mental health and obvious drinking issues tried to get me to stay the night at hers. Doubt anyone could claim I was being too picky by turning that down. No other women have shown interest or hinted at it. I've had 2 dates where I was the initiator and they agreed - never the beginnings of a relationship though and no physical contact of any sort.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 03:27 AM
5

Kpop represents a pretty noticeable departure from Western trends, many Kpop boy group members aren't especially tall Still taller than average in South Korea, Typically 5'10-11" vs the 5'8" population average. Kpop boy group image differs from the macho image Westerners are used to Boy groups in the west always represented a mix of masculine and feminine traits - which aligns with female preferences for slightly feminine/boyish features combined with more masculine physiques. You assert this, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 12:07 AM
0

And yet if you go on to any fat acceptance space these days you'll find plenty of neurotic angry ramblings about fatphobia in the dating market. It's gotten so crazy some even argue men who prefer healthy BMI women are pedophiles.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 11:43 PM
12

Male Kpop stars represent a slightly more feminine version of a universal male ideal - defined facial features, symettry, usually taller than average, fit and lean looking if not muscular. The benefit to the average Korean man in the dating market would be pretty negligible. Men are no more attracted to overweight women than 20 years ago (minority are, most aren't). They just have to be realistic about who they can date in an increasingly obese population. Maybe they're also less ashamed about d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 10:13 PM
1

I was ready to cringe at yet another one of 'those' posts but it turned out to better reasoned than the norm around here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 10:03 PM
0

Because sub-average men deserve to be labelled predators...
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 10:31 PM
–

Well if you don't know them then you can only be basing that desire off appearance, so yes that could be described as objectification. It's viewing their body as something separate from them as a person, for the sake of sexual gratification. However I think we need to qualify the moralistic tone with reality : almost everybody does or has 'objectified' others in this manner.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 11:15 AM
–

An SO meets different emotional needs than a group of friends. Who wants to go through life without any dating options anyway? That's not a happy situation for anyone and it shouldn't need pointing out. Lonely socially isolated men get treated as a threat. Lonely women don't. Their also 3 times as likely to become older virgins, which maps to the observation that men are generally less wanted/desired, romantically and otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 10:42 AM
-3

Kind of hard to see how an inexperienced 30 yo man could manipulate a normally experienced 23 yo woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 09:32 AM
-1

Seems to be a continuously shifting standard for what counts as fully grown adult these days. Not advocating for 30 and 20 - 20 is just a couple years out of high school ffs - but I've heard this argument thrown about by older women when the younger woman is well into adulthood. 50 year old women screaming at men their ages dating a 30 yo, calling him immature or claiming or he can't handle an equal. It's rather lame and desperate at that point and revealing of the fact that protecting anyone is…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 08:17 AM
2

Even if men needed to sink to tactics like negging or lying about intentions to get hookups, -which is debatable - it wouldn't justify it. Attractive/high status/etc men get hookups. Those kind of men can get away with being obnoxious. What you interpret as 'game' is probably halo bias much of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 12:22 AM
2

There are multiple motivations for engaging in self-improvement. Working out with an eye to being more attractive, something to increase general chances, is fine (yes of course do it for general wellbeing as well). Thinking of it as some kind of trump card that will overcome poor social skills or an empty life is the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 05:44 AM
2

What kind of weirdo approaches someone at a movie theatre or a library?? Do you even play this advice out in your mind first?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 05:35 AM
1

Which would be fine in some other less controversial area, not behaviour where the active party is being judged creepy by their peers if they cross a subjectively defined boundary.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 03:54 AM
–

Feminists and blue pillers argue an absence of a no doesn't mean yes (agree). That expecting women to say no is unfair since they could be fearing men's reaction. The problem is that also applies to 'yes', even an enthusiastic seeming yes. There's no way to peer into someone's mind and confirm for certain.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 09:36 PM
–

How can you be certain that somebody's 'signs' or physical reciprocation isn't out of fear? For that matter, how would you know that for certain with verbal consent? The more open to interpretation something is the more problems arise from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 09:52 AM
0

It's only a problem if you expect/demand other people be attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 10:33 PM
6

However, are a good chunk of men's complaints valid because of the damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't nature of The Discourse? Also yes. Which boils down to the expectation for men to perform masculinity perfectly while in a social environment explicitly hostile to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 06:55 AM
36

Women are championed for casual sex, OnlyFans, or "exploring their sexuality" (empowerment). Men who learn game, spin plates, or refuse to commit? Shamed as predators or losers. Men are free to seek out casual sex without resorting to game. This is nonsense. Women are "empowered" through prostitution/OF, but men who profit from it (e.g., OF pimps) are demonized as exploiters. Anyone can see the difference between what you do with your own body vs profiting off someone else's. If 'adapting' invol…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 11:17 PM
2

It all sounds very PUA/Red Pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 10:48 PM
–

The average redditor would probably say so...(of course it isn't) If I had a daughter in her early 20s I definitely wouldn't want her dating a 40 something though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 10:25 AM
–

All of the stuff he listed about kindness and values and compassion do not matter if the woman is unattractive. That's how dating and attraction works for most people. Attraction is the necessary prerequisite before other character traits or aspects of compatibility matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 08:29 AM
8

Men towards the bottom of the social hierarchy, obviously. Men who inherited those traits or men who were badly bullied or abused as children, destroying the self-confidence necessary for them to find and pursue relationships. Harsh evo psych realities get selectively invoked depending on which group is "deserving" of empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 02:24 AM
1

Red Pill absolutely does emphasize personality, albeit personality in-line with strict gender ideals.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 01:39 AM
14

And there's still a high chance their male children will inherit their 'defective' traits, ultimately harming their reproductive success. But at least you're in tune with reality (Although probably not enough to have any sympathy.)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 02:20 PM
20

Lol. So the blue pilled naysayer turns to a convenient evo psych explanation. Okay, fair enough, but at least acknowledge that what you define as weakness is gendered. From an evolutionary perspective shy socialy avoidant women don't deserve partners any more than their male equivalents. Those genes get passed on regardless from which parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 02:10 PM
4

It's an implicit expectation in most m/f romantic interactions for the man to initiate and lead while being judged by his ability to do so. Those expectations filter for the masculine qualities women want. They're working as intended to serve women's preferences in a dating arena where they could easily 'lead' if they wanted. (And it would probably be safer overall if they did.)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 02:01 PM
–

It's an implicit expectation in most m/f romantic interactions that the man initiate and lead while being judged by his ability to do so. How many women here have had the gumption to ask one man out in their entire lives? (Despite having full relationship histories.) Almost certainly a minority, even though it would safer for them overall if they took on the role of active party. Yet a man who cannot navigate social situations flawlessly is considered to be badly socialized, possibly autistic, m…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 11:15 AM
2

She would have known that he assumed exclusivity as well. Just trash behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 09:57 AM
1

Common consensus is a thing and up until recently sleeping with multiple people over the space of months would have been considered unusual.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 09:26 AM
3

Probably here, and on several other subs. But I can also think of several recent celebrity age gap stories on trash news sites like The Daily Mail or FB gossip pages where that's been said. The younger party might even be as old as early thirties yet inevitably there are people in the comments talking about "pedo vibes" or outright calling him a 'nonce.' (British slang for pedophile.)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 05:33 AM
0

I feel like it’s really tough to find someone with a “normal” BMI. No kidding, but that's the sad result of rapid changes in people's physical activity levels and diets over the last 40 years i.e. aberrant from healthy normality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 05:06 AM
1

Centering anybody is a weird notion. People generally enter relationships based on incentives for themselves,not because they've "centered" the opposite sex or their perspectives. If the incentives aren't enough then that is that, it doesn't need to be anything beyond that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 11:14 AM
0

The vast majority of men will never get approached, asked out, or anything like that. She's describing our normality as if it were her oppression. How many of these women actually ask men out?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 11:01 AM
2

Men will always be valued in large part as utility figures for protection/provision, hence why being "girly" or "feminine" is less tolerated. These are as much the products of innate sex-based differences as patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 09:43 AM
2

Being straight doesn't make it mandatory. If they despise men then they should avoid all unnecessary contact with them. It's the only rational end-point of that attitude. Nobody has to 'end up' with anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 10:07 PM
1

Dating and hetero relationships aren't mandatory.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:48 PM
6

Try being an obese man on a dating site and see how much interest you get.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 11:09 PM
68

Yea, no kidding. Men and women have evolved different mating strategies, with men's being more of a scattershot approach. Women are hardwired to be more selective, based on the underlying reality of childbearing. The quality of their partner is very important to their offspring's health and provision for the both of them: If they were as horny as men, that would mean being less discriminating, which could lead to serious negative consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 11:01 PM
7

Might want to ask what is required of you vs that of an average man, at least in the dating scene. For example are you expected to: Approach and ask people out? (Nope) Carry conversations and being outgoing and entertaining at all times? (Rarely) Do all this while proving you're safe to be around from a default state of being judged unsafe? (Nope) Read subtext (Yes but with the benefit of decades of female social experience) Your EQ is mostly reactive and conditioned around female acceptance, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 10:59 PM
3

almost consequences. Like almost being suspended from uni. Or almost losing their jobs. Not to mention the stress involved. But go ahead and invalidate on a thread not intended for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 05:51 AM
2

It's mostly been okay with the few women I've asked. The worst was when I had to reject a woman in a former friend group who tried to push me into staying the night at her place (after buying me drinks all evening), which is part of the reason I left that friend group. But that's not what you're asking.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 05:46 AM
13

Good on her for putting it out there instead of virtue signaling. Dumb comment. a. She's not just rejecting him and giving her blunt reason, but callously shaming him for daring to approach b. He no doubt already knows his looks are the problem. This isn't teaching him anything, it's just a bad experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 05:38 AM
1

If you think constant man-bashing from the left isn't going to push young men who react emotionally and lack perspective into the arms of conservatives, then you're not living in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 11:39 PM
4

... they're just brainwashed by patriarchy, not actual conservatives.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:05 PM
34

What pre-2014 "culture" are you referring to lol? You might have made a stronger point if you had said pre-1984, or pre 1954, but even then... Apex fallacy. Only the top % of men get to be 'choosers' in any meaningful sense. And since only they qualify as men in women's eyes, their locker room talk gets generalized to the rest. Every man who's grown up in the last 50 years would have some inkling of women as visual creatures. But the more open society/women are about this the better - it lets th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:26 PM
1

Where do I find such a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 11:07 AM
12

back to my younger years That's the problem - you're looking at it from a different generation's point of view. A lot of young people - and not so young people FTM - are living at home these days, not flatting. If not that they're living in chicken coop apartments.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 10:51 PM
1

The guys who's goal is to spin plates and the trad con red pillers seem to be two distinct groups, as these viewpoints are basically incompatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 10:32 AM
1

And women aren't interested in most men so by this reasoning men shouldn't be approaching anyone. What a silly argument. The biggest potential downside is the lower likelihood of having a family, either now or further down the track, which a younger man is effectively sacrificing by dating older. But if he's thought it through then that would be his decision. And it's certainly less controversial the gender reverse scenario, because frankly older men aren't all that bothered if the odd woman the…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 08:12 AM
1

Satire level comedy gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 06:40 AM
0

evolutionarily they are successful simply because they have more kids Having children that reach adult age and have kids of their own is the definition of success, at least from an evolutionary perspective. Just because we have a higher parental investment than fish doesn't mean it's disadvantageous for lower socio economic groups to have more children.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 10:12 PM
10

from some most women, Only about 20% of women on the apps would date a man 5'8" or under. Women's ideal height for a man is 8 inches taller than them. Maybe you're being nice, or maybe you're trying to invalidate, but being that height will be a huge hurdle to overcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 02:28 PM
2

Vocal/visible incels spewing hate on spaces like 4chan are outliers. The average self-identified incel is politically moderate centre left and rarely if ever contributes to online vitriol. White males are slightly underrepresented so that stereotype doesn't hold true either. Men who represent the most prescient threat to women are those in close consistent proximity to them i.e. the romantically successful and manipulative.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 09:53 AM
7

Confidence can't be learned in adulthood, it's the result of positive enforcement during childhood and adolescence when the brain is developing. We are who we're hardwired to be by about 20.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 08:30 AM
1

Yea they're free take what's on offer. It's a free soceity and no-one's arguing for that option to be removed. But they don't get to blame those men's lack of interest in long term relationships with them on anything but their own choices. They're no better than incels demanding Instagram model tier girlfriends.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 10:10 PM
–

Most of the pressure for men to remain utilities is coming from women, not patriarchy. Just look at the popularity of FDS.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 11:04 AM
–

Try fitting in as a single 30+ guy with social groups that are mostly couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 10:55 AM
2

...No doubt letting men take the initiative 90% of the time. The only valid female opinion on this is that of genuinely alone/ignored women who get consistently rejected. If one of them said they were living an amazing life with zero dating opportunities - we'll I'd listen - your 'promiscuous bitch' opinion on the other hand has no value whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 11:27 PM
3

You would be a depressed mess if you experienced a fraction of the social and romantic invisibility large numbers of men deal with from day one.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 10:15 PM
12

As a middle aged virgin, I don't feel "stigamitized" in everyday life, probably because I look/behave normal enough and aren't socially illiterate enough to bring it up in conversation (why would you?) OP is just talking about mostly looks based halo bias with some elements tied to gender adding to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 10:05 PM
-2

How would you like it if a man did this to you - introduced you to friends and family, not because he wanted you to meet them (just with the pretense of that), because he wanted their general opinion on you and to make sure you hadn't missed any signs of abuse? I get why women do this but it's obnoxious to be on the end of that treatment.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 01:17 AM
-1

It's ridiculous because a. at that extreme it would require polygamy - but duh most women want monogamy - and b. the males females harem with in the wild are often physically dominant and protect them from other males, And since women contribute half their genes towards their offspring, why should mediocre women be sullying the genes of high status men with their own? If you cared about the health of the species you'd be advocating for funding high status/attractive people to have more children.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 11:12 AM
2

You hold the social power to designate anything as creepy or threatening solely on the basis of feeeling uncomfortable. Men are going to have second thoughts about it, because they're having to act - and have their actions assessed, as opposed to the bear in the wild meme where women are passively assessing a threat (and nobody would judge them for feeling threatened) Men have to be the active parties with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 04:51 AM
16

JFC Women don't want to be friends with isolated men, they feel "unsafe" around them precisely because they're isolated. Try openly reaching out to people while admitting to being socially isolated. Now after all those contemptuous reactions, you want to continue 'reaching out' ?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 10:49 AM
4

15-20% of millenials surveyed considered approaching women in bars harassment. (Not just could be.) That'd be higher with Gen Z.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 11:28 AM
5

Because of course men have 'right wing autist 4 Chan poster' in all caps across their bio... It's common knowledge that the majority of men get few-to-no matches. Pretty hard for any of that to be a factor if messaging isn't an option. The simpler explanation is that women consider the majority of male profiles unappealing based on pics, and that's all there is to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 11:15 AM
1

Assuming that last sentence is true you would run the risk of an accusation now along with rejection. That's the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 11:05 AM
1

Masculinity inolves walking a fine line balancing contradictory traits that suggest being capable of aggression when needed (protection) without actually being aggressive in the toxic sense (abuse)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 10:47 AM
2

Doesn't matter - The reddit moral committe have spoken on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 04:29 AM
1

That's not my point. Not everything is about women being a victim of this or that. To function as a protector/provider requires a hardened disposition and the suppression of vulnerability; That's the so-called toxic element.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 02:45 AM
2

Results from a 2018 GSS survey published by The Washington Post point to 27% of men under 30 not having sex since they were 18. That's a rough estimate for virginity. A 25 yo who hasn't had sex since they turned 18 is almost certainly a virgin.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 12:04 PM
3

Traditional masculinity largely revolves around protection and provision. It's very hard to separate the so- called toxic traits from that. Anything beyond that and you're just listing some generic positive qualities that aren't gender specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 11:44 AM
9

Er..."Bro" ... .Does it occur to you that perhaps your experiences aren't representative? All it takes is being moderately shy and anxious with a string of poor luck. It's very easy to fall through the cracks as a man like this. Then suddenly you're 25, 30 +, with less experience than most teenagers and no way to get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 11:02 AM
0

An innate preference for youth is because we're a sexually reproducing species and women's fertility is closely aligned to it. It's not a paradigm; it's how we're hardwired. However, teens do not safely bear children like adult women in their 20s. There are several traits women innately find appealing that I lack (height, assertiveness) but I'm not going to make loud, dubious claims of indifference because I lack them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 07:35 AM
–

What a load of bollocks. The standards for the average woman to be found attractive by a large pool of men are not much more than maintaining healthy BMI along with common sense aspects like hygiene, decent dress that apply to everyone. Most of us don't care about heavy makeup, overly sexual outfits, designer brands, hair extensions, complex beauty routines or any of that. That's women being advertised to not straight male consensus. It's not difficult to see that those ideals are a highly exagg…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 05:40 AM
9

Wanting to be found attractive (to a point) isn't patriarchal brainwashing, it's a normal aspect of having an ego and an orientation.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 03:04 AM
5

Sure, but then I could just link dozens of catfish experiments showing perceived-attractive men getting away with practically anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 12:49 AM
0

Not it isn't a gotcha. That being said you don't get to designate the exact same behaviour as safe/threatening, appropriate/inappropriate, acceptable/'perverted' with the only variable being who it's coming from. Of course this kind of attention still has value to straight women - it's the dynamic that hands the majority of them relationships. If reasonably attractive women we're initiating with you then I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be neurotically obsessing over whether their motives were pure …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 12:04 AM
3

Given that 25-35% of women are regular consumers of pornography the gender qualifier on that is unwarranted.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 11:04 PM
6

What's obvious is that millions upon millions of relationships begin because men are initially 'thinking with their dicks' i.e. noticing women at the appearance level - women they either don't know or are barely acquainted with. It's also obvious that millions of women are okay with that kind of attention when it's coming from men they're also attracted to, in some cases just for an ego boost. You're at least right about who the attention is coming from being the deciding factor here.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:11 PM
1

Of course it does because by their own account they would have been knowingly sleeping with a racist/criminal/whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 08:47 PM
–

No, several comments implied men were perverts based on thoughts alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:00 AM
3

It's seems to be like this form of control for men they won't date in the first place. So why spend the time on trying to lecture them? Maintaining perceived power in the dating market doesn't require wanting those particular men. There are serious ethical concerns around prostitution, but judging lonely young men for looking at porn is borderline absurd when you consider 25-35% of women regularly consume it. There was a recent thread here where the thought police types were expressing disgust a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 07:20 AM
1

If she were okay with it when she was with him then the only reason for exposing him would be revenge - if you're motivated by revenge I'm going to assume you to be lacking credibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 11:29 AM
–

I'd be very surprised if higher earning women didn't have a stronger than average income preference. Hypergamy plus the fact that people generally stick to their own social/socio-economic class and yea you won't see many wmen working corporate dating blue collar men, even tradies with good incomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 10:51 AM
–

Shorter in this context would mean significantly shorter than the average man, not shorter than you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 10:31 AM
3

Because a large number of forgotten about loser dudes here are bitter over completely missing the young adult dating phase, in comparison to 30+ women posters who dated/messed about when they were younger and are bitter for entirely different reasons. Say what you will about it, but it's not the same as an experienced older man deliberately targeting a young person based on experience/maturity gaps. Kind of difficult to move on without crucial life experiences and given the differing older adult…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 01:29 AM
4

Yea that sounds like you're bringing your own issues with men your age into this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 12:41 AM
1

...what things? Having thoughts about strangers like 99% of people do? Keep lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 07:26 PM
1

Morality is to do with how your actions affect others.And you are almost certainly lying about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 06:56 PM
3

Yes, I get that it's basically just shaming. But it's still curious how they reconcile that with common sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 05:11 PM
2

Just don't expect those feelings to be taken seriously. Violation involves actual harm, not imagined harm driven by neuroses and disgust over unacted upon thoughts which are just the inevitable result of having an orientation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 04:30 PM
1

Kind of hard to disagree. Particularly as women are at greater risk of getting STIs from a promiscuous partner. I doubt a lot of red pill identifying guys are in a position to be promiscuous in the first place though. The RP beliefs are more an 'after the fact' reaction to rejection/isolation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 01:14 PM
3

Whether it still has any value or utility in western society, it's essential for men to appear masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 10:53 AM
2

If there's no trust there's nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 10:48 AM
1

Used? No. Harmed? Quite possibly. Going from years of casual sex to long-term exclusive monogamy isn't a simple matter if you've conditioned yourself towards novelty and short-term gratification. Every bit of data bears this out: Higher than average number of previous partners increases the likelihood of divorce, it also correlates with mental health problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 07:33 AM
4

Birth rates drop low enough there won't be enough workers to pay for services or current generations' retirements.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:57 AM
3

If you're in an open poly relationship then you're not really spoken for.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 03:09 AM
5

Young men are being filtered out before any of what you mentioned gets to be a factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 11:21 PM
11

Yea... an abundance of undesirable options. The desert represents the absence of any options; it's not a judgment on a group or individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 11:09 PM
1

A lot of people on these subs are older and miserable (this isn't just bitter older women with a string of bad relationships in their pasts...but it kind of is them too and you need to be aware of that) And judging others itself is cathartic. Nobody is ever 'good enough' to date, but self-improvement has other rewards and the self-esteem boost will help.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 08:09 PM
3

That's you. Vast numbers of women expect to be pursued like it's 1955 and will assume a lack of interest if either favours or one-sided effort is not forthcoming.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 01:20 AM
3

If he persistently messaged you asking to go out on a daily basis, you'd conclude that He's stalking you He has no life
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 11:09 PM
4

Childish shaming tactics. Women want sex too otherwise they wouldn't be seeking relationships with men. Perhaps OP should have have said women feel entitled to one-sided effort and favours within a dating context rather than "kindness" since these aren't altruistic displays. And relationships shouldn't be reduced to 'fucking' as the entire motive either. You're basically saying people have no other motive to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 10:40 PM
9

Imagine, for a moment, if a man pestered you to be available and entertain him whenever it pleased him. A week is no time at all. People have lives and responsibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 10:33 PM
-1

In contrast to young men rotting in a void of missed out on early adult experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 11:06 AM
1

Nah. Older men get accused of manipulating women as old as late 20s, even early 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 10:29 AM
0

As a 46 year old virgin who barely dated due to early life family responsibilities, I can confidently say I have very little in common with the average middle-aged divorcee with 25 years of relationship experience over me and a dozen or so important life milestones in her favour - Yet certain types of people would have no problem demanding I be open to dating those women and lobbing heavy criticism my way for admitting to discomfort at the idea - never mind expressing interest in someone younger…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 09:37 AM
2

This... But when men are socialized to identify their humanness as masculinity and to associate masculinity with power, we get some real problems. These are the problems of patriarchy. ...does not map with this. Most men are friendly, respect my boundaries, and don’t want to hurt me. Most of the time, I feel very safe around men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:43 PM
3

A man is definitely more likely to rape me though. Anything to back this statement up? For eg. the rate of bear attacks vs encounters compared to sexual assaults per encounters with the thousands of men you cross paths with on a regular basis?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:13 PM
3

Never read those subs but I'll take that assessment with a rock of salt. Wanting sex in relationships isn't pathological. Flip the genders and you'd be telling those women to leave their useless limp-dick husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:19 PM
1

Lmao. So you take the extreme views of a crazy break-away church and extrapolate that to every conservative man in the country.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 09:51 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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