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captaindestucto Archive

View 10 posts and 2,815 comments by captaindestucto on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

"Lazy, cowardly" This from the passive group that isn't expected to approach and ask anyone out, or even give clear indications of interest (lest they be ignored and your poor feelings get hurt). Unless lazy means unemployed, doesn't function as an adult etc. that charge is pretty funny coming from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 09:47 PM
–

A large % men never make it to the point where their personalities get to count towards anything in the current dating scene (that's the norm online).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 09:37 PM
–

How are you not getting that this is a satirical post from a McTroll commenter? Specifically satirizing comments men have been making recently around 'coaxing' women into marriage via tax benefits. Don't feed him/her, please.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 10:45 AM
–

Posting in a space that tolerates opinions that differ from yours... so brave. Freedom of association originally meant the right to form among other things political organizations and labour unions. You're not associating with anyone here in that sense. Tolerance means you don't actively try to suppress other people's opinions/beliefs/lawful behaviors. Yes you're required to tolerate viewpoints you may personally loathe. We all have to. Words have specific meanings.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 07:12 AM
1

I don't think you understand what freedom of association is. You're on a debate sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 12:59 AM
0

Believing more people identifying as bi is as much about trend conformity as a genuine identify has nothing to do with wanting to restrict it. Other people are free to identify as they want. We're free to judge their reasons/motives for it. That's what living in a free pluralistic society is about - you have to tolerate opinions that personally bother you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 12:45 AM
0

It's "harmful" because you don't like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 12:37 AM
1

Clearly you don't understand what fascism is and isn't. Just using words at this point. Grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 12:34 AM
2

Probably not much more than a trend among progressive leaning young women from a certain background who take part in this kind of study. Not wanting to look like a vanilla boring hetero etc. then add some trendy 'men = trash' mentality in there (influenced by the manosphere - yea sure). Most of that 50% will end up in a straight relationship having kids by their 30s. The majority of any sexually reproducing population has to be innately hetero for the species to continue, that's obvious. Yawn.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 10:42 PM
–

If you can't form one successful relationship over the entirety of your reproductive age adult life - particularly when you don't even need to approach potential partners - then yea that says something about your competence, life skills, decision making ability, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 08:04 AM
–

There's older female age gap posts on the dating subs as extreme as 48 and 22, yet I don't remember words like 'predator' being uttered anywhere in the comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 07:31 AM
2

Friends add at least a superficial level of accountability and safety. Those friends could be a group of scumbags, a group he randomly met somewhere but was never really part of, or strangers posing together for a pic. If you believe a significant % of men are dangerous then it reasons that a man having a large (male most of the time) friend group isn't a particularly strong indicator of safety. It might even indicate the opposite considering the 'egging on' / transgressional bonding that happen…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 03:28 AM
1

While I spend a decent amount of time at home I have many hobbies. I play a lot of dungeons and dragons. I go out with friends a lot. I love cycling and hiking and the beach. Those often aren't much more than context based connections. I know about a dozen of those kinds of people from various hobby groups who seemed to like me, and got the odd invite from, but I would only call 1-2 other guys friends (as in genuine, call up any time friends). After 25 it gets exponentially more difficult as peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 03:03 AM
2

60% of adults 25-39 don't hold a college degree. If the only people having kids were the upper middle-class with enough money saved for disasters and professional qualifications to fall back on, the birthrate would plummet to the point where western countries would have to double immigration. Here you are obnoxiously dumping on a guy who at least supports both his wife and kid - over what, some worse case scenario and daring to have kids with someone he likes?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 12:10 AM
1

I'd pay child support of course, assuming we didn't have shared custody. I would not expect let alone demand a sahm situation - it's unaffordable anyway - so there'd be no legitimate reason for alimony.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 10:45 PM
1

Perhaps. It's a gym chain in the city centre of a largish city.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 10:49 AM
0

I've been gyming it for about 10 years now. Over that entire time I could count the number of instances I've seen women who looked over 35 working out on my fingers and toes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 08:31 AM
1

...However, if you're straight, and actually want a partner, then appealing to the opposite sex matters (duh). Short/unmasculine men are all-too aware of the reality of this while overweight women seem to want to delude themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 07:45 AM
-4

Was voluntarily single. Age levels the tables.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 06:53 AM
1

Generally women fall for personality first before even thinking about going to bed with a guy And yet women here and on every dating sub continually state they need to be physically attracted, on top of wanting men to be competent in the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 05:40 AM
6

That woman is also probably terminally online and deserves to be filtered out. BTW A decent dinner is way more than $20.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 10:38 AM
1

Most women would say no. Get off the high horse.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 04:37 AM
8

The supposed gotcha is ridiculous because it's a valid expectation to start with. The majority of women wouldn't enter into romantic relationships either if sex were off the table, so what exactly does this prove? Yes it's different when a partner falls ill and can't be available, but that's because there's already a bond and a commitment involved. But starting a new relationship like that - almost nobody aside from the asexual would be okay with it. EDIT: your profile screams attention-seeking …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 04:35 AM
–

The majority of women and probably men as well wouldn't had much choice about who they married in most of human history. "Dating" /courtship didn't exist for most people until relatively recently.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 12:01 AM
–

The problem is that we’ve over-regulated relationships and now wonder why there are fewer relationships. My parents and their parents all met at work. Now you better start looking for a new job as a back-up plan before daring to ask a female coworker out.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 11:50 PM
1

Demanding people only look in pre-approved dating spaces is as much the problem as men boorishly hitting on every woman (which is the minority). What the hell is a 'dating focused' space anyway? Speed dating? Dating meetups? How many people would regularly attend those.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 11:48 PM
5

Only if you're a mindreader. Any unwanted interest is going to be uncomfortable to the other party regardless of being polite and non-threatening.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 09:43 PM
38

Are you going let an obese 60 year old woman start feeling your butt because she's a bit horny and it would be nice if she got a bit of hanky panky once in a while? Then what's the point of this? Sympathy between strangers doesn't really mean much, and it changes nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 08:19 AM
64

You realize it has to be mutual right? Otherwise why would they let you do that. Unattractive men and women have dealing with invisibility all their adult lives. We aren't slavering wolves and I'm sick of dudes here portraying other men this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 06:13 AM
0

OP means you pay your way, he pays his, including keeping separate living expenses if you end up together under the same roof.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 05:53 AM
3

It's trend these days for adults to infantilise themselves rather than take responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 11:19 PM
1

Both parties should be doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 09:33 AM
10

'Gender roles for thee but not for me' seems to be the modern straight woman's dating mantra.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 01:48 AM
1

Social norms are hard to push back against when it comes at the cost of far fewer dating options. And then there's the evolved hardwired aspect to it. Men will always be valued more for protection and provision. Women will always be valued more for physical attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 12:11 AM
8

...yea and it's frustrating reading this barely literate nonsense in the OP that can't seem to distinguish private unacted upon thoughts from behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 11:34 PM
3

We aren't some Borg collective. Men who casually joke about or dismiss sexual assault tend to hang around with one another; the rest of us aren't paling around with these types of men. We're not in a position to call it out in our day-to-day lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 10:28 PM
1

First hand experience isn't required to avoid what seems like an increasingly likely outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 01:44 PM
1

My parents and all of my grandparents met in or around the workplace. I would never ask someone out at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 01:37 PM
2

IT/Academic library. I'm grateful towards men doing that kind of work. Of course that goes for women in the same jobs and those in the care sectors. Most jobs are necessary and we depend on the people doing them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 01:19 PM
–

Consent isn't required just to talk to someone, casually flirt or ask them out. Consent is required for physical contact. (That may extend to sexual propositioning in explicit terms.) It has to be persistent unwanted attention before it crosses into harassment (or in situations where it's inappropriate i.e. the street, a shopping mall etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 11:08 AM
–

It's not acceptable in the first place for men (it's considered fundamentally unmasculine and therefore "creepy"). What you consider flirting is probably closer to friendliness from a man's perspective. Women are rarely that direct, it's usually easily deniable hints.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 09:02 AM
–

This avenue doesn't exist for shier men. The indirect approach is expected and even considered cute or endearing for women. The same behaviour in men is considered devious or outright predatory by feminists - or pathetic by neo-conservative/red pill types. And in any case, women typically respond very negatively towards it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 08:48 AM
1

You realize that appearing platonically friendly, never being direct, but 'hovering around' men they're interested in is commonplace behaviour for women, right? You're essentially framing men as predatory for behaving like women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 08:44 AM
3

OP doesn't seem to have been raised in that kind of culture. Married a single dad without getting a handle on his beliefs and attitudes first (when they would be observable via his relationship with his kids). Blaming Red Pill or cultural conservatism only goes so far. She isn't a brainwashed victim here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 03:36 AM
10

Your ex sounds like a pushy, inconsiderate jerk and you're right to question his feelings for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 10:49 PM
1

People are entitled to expect a healthy relationship i.e it's a healthy, reasonable expectation.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 10:42 PM
-6

Attractive enough men get to be domineering trad types.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 12:40 PM
-1

Can't really put the blame on any 'pill' here. Nobody put a gun to your head and forced you to sign up for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 10:49 AM
2

Or you'll wake up one day and find you actually need working age taxpayers to help pay for your hip replacement. So-called elites want declining birthrates - it means they can import workers from the developing world, which suppresses local wages and conditions. It means millions of unhappy people consuming antidepressants (a multibillion dollar industry), processed food and Netflix subs. Loneliness is profitable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 02:36 PM
1

There's evidence for individuals favouring close kin vs having their own children and competing for scarce resources, true (it's actually been suggested this is explanation for homosexuality). However, the general rule remains, that most of our behaviour and personal happiness is tied to reproductive success.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 12:29 PM
8

Oh no, someone inform The Church Elders... They're basically the same thing and they serve the same purpose (reproduction and forming a bond within which to raise children).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 12:13 PM
15

Friendships are important but they aren't a substitute for a partner. Being accepted socially isn't the same as being desired romantically. Generally people don't have families with their platonic friends either.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 11:39 AM
15

It's not as if women don't have an endless wellspring of contempt for unselected men - but yea, sure, and I also apply that to myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 11:20 AM
17

They are a measure of self-worth, because they're a precursor to being able to reproduce, which is what most of our behaviour is ultimately purposed towards. Not being able to form one intimate bond with another human being indicates something fundamentally inadequate about the individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 11:09 AM
1

The perception of having options vs no options (or very few) isn't going to suddenly disappear if men were to stop being overeager simps chasing validation. On some level I think people are still aware that men are the less desirable, more disposable sex. And men will always desire sex, because testosterone. so unless this sea change is pre-empted with a drop in T levels, good luck convincing young men en masse.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 09:23 AM
1

There's a difference between chance interactions IRL and openly stating it on a dating profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 04:21 AM
10

Edit: this is a gay man, I assumed it was a woman. Gyming it isn't a magic wand. It doesn't change your face (beyond reducing facial fat), height, hair, or overall body proportions/frame. The majority of guys will never reach the point of easily obtaining one night stands that way. It helps yea, just not to that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/26 09:06 PM
0

...No.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 10:04 AM
–

Opportunity is relevant when comparing groups, including the physical ability to do something if you're making the argument that one group is innately more empathetic/caring. I don't think many people would argue that women commit sexually assaults at similar rates or engage in the same severity of domestic violence, only that there's a higher than expected percentage who do.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 02:43 PM
–

Women weren't generally combatants in war so there's no comparing anything there. The rate of abuse of boys is disturbing enough to show that, given opportunity, there's a not insignificant number of female pedophiles/abusers in the 'system'.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 01:05 PM
2

Even an enthusiastic seeming yes could be given out of fear or some kind of external influence/pressure, conscious or subconsciously felt. This applies to a myriad of circumstances, an obvious one being stay at home mums who sought out that situation but who feel obligated to their husbands. To what extent is the man expected to determine whether his partner is genuinely interested as opposed to faking it for his benefit? Germaine Greer wrote about this but of course her answer was 'don't get ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 10:58 PM
1

Survival would have to be in question before consent became an issue. These situations would be the minority even in the developing world. And of course what about women in the west who actively seek out a stay-at-home -mums seeking situation with a well-off partner. Now they're dependent on his income, they can't consent?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 10:46 PM
1

Yea but him paying can't be justified with 'I bring my looks to the table' if you are also attracted to him. You don't need his money and it sounds like you could have a decent life meeting each other half way. If he genuinely wants to do this then sure it's not as bad, but it's still strange imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 11:04 PM
1

Presumably you are physically attracted to him though, so that isn't a one-way interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 03:52 AM
-1

I get wanting someone of similar means who doesn't leech off of you and isn't insecure about his financial status compared to yours, but clearly you don't need a "provider" and so it's strange to have that as a priority or highly desired aspect (you've mentioned multiple times).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 10:42 PM
8

They've been told that talking to girls requires a complicated playbook of signals before they have "consent" just to speak to someone (let alone ask them out). Get it wrong and they're guilty of harassment. Their orientation is pathologized as 'problematic', meaning they second-guess every desire/thought. Staying in and playing RPGs probably seems preferable.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 11:10 PM
18

Or it's because they're living behind screens.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 10:49 AM
–

Misinterpretation and probably a poor choice of words on my part. It's not common to want sex with someone who clearly doesn't want that. And sure, if you'd rather stay in the ideal world where you can soap box rather than the real world. Many women would end up guilty of inappropriate touching if they were expected to initiate. (I've had a few weird, uncomfortable interactions like that, a lot of guys have.)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:49 PM
–

But most men have a script and mindset at the start (we're talking say starting at maybe 15 to 16) that you kind of need to trick or pressure women into bed and so long as they eventually say yes, everything before that is forgotten from the record. That's the attitude of a subsection of entitled arseholes who are typically used to getting what they want, plus the extreme end of Red Pill online. It isn't all that common to want sex with someone who emphatically doesn't want sex with you (not jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:20 PM
–

That's what you're doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:28 PM
–

Because unattractive = "bad person"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:26 PM
–

A large % of men here are beaten down loser virgins who wouldn't have the ability or opportunity for "coercion."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:23 PM
1

Most men don't use game or need seduction advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 03:36 AM
–

You're responsible for what you chose to believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:16 PM
–

Yea in extremely narrow terms, such as mistaken identity/impersonation, the nature of the sex engaged in, bodily harm. That does not include lies about about a person's life/situation, marital status, intentions and so on. I can't find evidence of a country that would define it that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:15 PM
–

As an adult in society, you're responsible for judging whether someone is being honest before having sex with them (or interacting with them at all). Going ahead and having sex with them is therefore consensual. But apparently you don't want the rights/responsibilities of an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:07 PM
–

Men lie about all sorts of things. Their name, being married, their intentions, what they’re looking for, they stealth with condoms, etc etc. Only the last thing is relevant to consent since it relates to sexual contact and potentially causes physical harm (unwanted pregnancy/STD). The rest is a judgement call based on whether you choose to believe they're being honest. You aren't owed honesty and consent doesn't depend on it. Sounds like you're trying to claim that men who lie about their inten…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:45 PM
–

"Informed" as to the type of sexual activity the other person intends to engage in, yeah. "Informed" doesn't mean a guarantee that they're being honest about their intentions in the wider context of a relationship. That's a judgement call you make as an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:42 PM
–

If a man agreed to paying for everything while ignoring red flags, nobody would be buying a victim narrative. He is simply an idiot in that case. Yet women here constantly play victim over doing the equivalent with their bodies.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 10:12 AM
2

Women who bought those books were specifically into the BDSM/dominance aspect. This isn't the Sopranos quality of writing here that one would appreciate without necessarily liking the characters. There's an obvious sexual undercurrent with this kind of content.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:20 AM
3

To be blunt, any man who believes mainstream advice instead of using his observation skills probably deserves to be alone. Anyone can see women are attracted to strength, stoicism and resilience. It doesn't require a new paradigm or framework - it's blatantly obvious when interacting with the opposite sex and the types of men they pair up with.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:05 AM
5

The fact that women are attracted to protection and provision traits doesn't require special 'pill' level insight and it isn't particularly controversial either. Parts of Red Pill rhetoric encourage behaviours that edge on to abuse i.e. negging/dread. You're identifying with the positive (common sense) parts of it. I would change your tag.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 06:50 AM
1

Hmm.... whenever men post pics 'smile more' is one of the first comments that comes up... ^ If I posted a photo like that people would be saying I looked like a psychopath.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 06:02 AM
2

This take is far too rational for the red pill tag.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 05:26 AM
1

I would say the same thing to a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 04:25 AM
1

Less attractive women are exonerated from direct avenues towards finding a partner because their insecurities are judged to matter more than their male counterparts. Even practically deformed men are called losers if they don't act.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 01:00 AM
1

Being more proactive doesn't have to mean hitting on strangers and that's rarely the advice given to men these days anyway (it's usually discouraged). It means doing what men are often told to do: approach and start conversations with the opposite sex in social situations; get to know them, try to register if there's mutual interest, then ask them out if it it seems like there is, Wash and repeat until success. But lonely women aren't doing that. They're remaining entirely passive, and society g…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 12:50 AM
1

It sounds like he was paying for her company and the 'social credit' of being seen with an attractive woman and any desire for sex came after that. Also being scammed comes with the territory. Nobody signed a contract.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 02:10 PM
-1

*A lot* ...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 11:55 AM
2

Don't agree about that though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 09:13 AM
1

The problem is not your appearance per se, which is fine, it's the unkempt hair, the 'dead' expression, and you look really tired. (If you want honesty here.) You could easily attract someone if you improved the way you presented and took a better photo.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 09:07 AM
1

No offence OP but this smacks of 'Nice Girl' / femcel mentality. Not checking you out in public - you're describing the invisibility average-to-sub-average men deal all their lives. Complaining about being treated like a peer is essentially complaining about the friendzone. Do women become genderless to you when you're not attracted to them? They just become other people for whom we don't feel any attraction. That's all. The same is true of women's attitude to unattractive men, which ranges of n…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 09:00 AM
0

It could just be that people like to delude themselves into thinking their preferences are more wholesome or reasonable than they are. Or if you're in a position of scarcity you might be aware of how ridiculous it is to appear picky. You're examples are mostly nonsense though. Heavy nakeup and plastic surgery aren't appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 10:49 PM
2

In theory people's desires can change. In reality, settling is something we see everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 09:18 PM
10

Lighting forest fires is a felony. Part of your job is to deal with mundane queries like this and some of the examples - "can't login" "membership defaulted" - wouldn't even have existed decades ago because of technology. Gotta be one of the most bizarre posts ever here.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 02:19 PM
1

The great majority of dateless men will just give up, not burn the village down.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:01 AM
–

Where do you get this figure from? Edited it out because it was misleading. 7-11 years behind women in reported maturity level. 3-4 years behind women in brain development.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 03:22 AM
–

Edited it out because it was misleading. 7-11 years behind women in reported maturity level. 3-4 years behind women in brain development.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 03:18 AM
–

Maybe I'm a bad writer. She was 31, ten years younger at the time (we weren't compatible). However I would never say 'I wish you were younger' to any woman. That would be insanely rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 12:03 AM
–

I mean, I would never say something like that to a hypothetical woman. It's mostly online. To bring this up in real life would be like committing social suicide for me as most of my friends are male feminist/progressive and would probably agree with the age gap hate and judge harshly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 11:16 PM
1

I do actually, but yes the physical attraction side of it is a problem. They look so much older than me, and the mature older person manner and 'see it, done it' before attitude is off putting. Feels like I'm talking to someone much older even if we're similar age.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 10:22 PM
1

One woman 10 years younger I briefly dated 4 years ago. Another in her early 30s I wasn't interested in. A 28 year old told me to message her at a hike, until I told her my age and of course wasn't interested tgen. I look younger because I gym it and haven't been through the marriage/kids/divorce gauntlet - of course everyone says that but I get put early-mid 30s multiple times. There's some hints of initital interest here and there but I don't pursue out of fear of the reaction once my age come…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:34 PM
–

No one here is actually saying it would be immoral for you to date a woman in her 30s are they? Someone in this post said I would be attempting to trick them into a relationship and suck the youth out of them "like a vampire," so yea.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 03:16 PM
–

"It must be what it looks like," is where you get a lot of dumb ideas. Dating a short person makes you a child predator... Wolf whistling at your wife is misogyny, even if she enjoys it... Penetrative sex is inherently violent... Nothing is inherently a problem here though. Whistling at someone is context based. Dating short person - only if you're attracted to child-like qualities. With BDSM, the main distinction in what it looks like and what it's like is that it's consensual. It's causing pai…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:37 PM
–

Not putting themselves in situations where a man has significant leverage over them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:25 PM
–

Whereas when women pursue relationships where they have less power there is not the same possibility or stated desire for exploitation. Maybe they should avoid it on principle.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 01:55 PM
–

Any younger adult who chose to date me would be doing so of their own free will as an uncoerced choice. Gloss over that with personal attacks, but it's still fact. They probably would already have read BS from women like you online, but go ahead, "warn" them. And caring for your little brother, because that's the same as living with someone on the edge of death/palliative care for years and all the stress entailed. And now like a vampire you want to suck youth out of someone else I'm not even lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 01:48 PM
–

And you probably know this: name some things you know deeply that you'd wager most 30 year olds do not know because they simply haven't been around the block enough times in enough ways. I'm sure you can think of several and you admit to not being the most lived 47 year old. Sure, I've accumulated more general knowledge. None of that however is particularly relevant to interpersonal skills within romantic relationships or whatever counts as deep knowledge. What block? Going to work, paying bills…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 01:13 PM
–

After a certain point it isn't the job of society nor the individual to protect you because you have personally chosen to be a dodo bird. No, it isn't. But there's evidence of more inexperienced Gen Z men pushing 30 like this who would probably prefer to date a less experienced 23 yo, and of course they will have to put up with these accusations now over what used to be non-controversial age gaps even just 10 years ago. You may not have the lived dating experience, but much of the dialogue aroun…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 12:47 PM
1

Of course that 40 something can't override my agency as an adult, but she would have advantages with interpersonal skills and decades of life experience in this area vs nothing. Combine that with the difference in general life experience, trajectory, 'been there, done that' vs 'never have' and it's enough to make me uneasy and almost get older figure vibes off these women. But yea I also 100% own the fact that I'm superficial and likely to die alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 11:51 AM
1

It’s also creepy if a 47 yr old virgin woman was demanding... I would never expect someone that age to want to date me. Where did you get that idea?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 10:07 AM
1

No of course you wouldn't because it involves a woman's preference. You probably wouldn't if she wanted to date younger as well, including 20s. I've seen this before, many threads, and people always stop short of calling the woman a creep.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:59 AM
5

Using subjective terms like creepy or weird/abnormal doesn't hold any real content. They're shorthand for "I disapprove because of [insert personal issue/agenda]" And if you think that's creepy then you should absolutely have a problem with a divorced woman out of a 20 year marriage saying she'd prefer a guy with a "clean slate" or someone who is specifically looking for it (because I've had that said to me).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:44 AM
0

I can't be manipulated in a way that crosses serious ethical boundaries - but then neither can the average 25 yo with normal life experience, but I'm damn sure women here would have a problem with that person dating someone significantly older. And yea, I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:27 AM
1

I'm reconciled to that already. Yes 30+ is about being slightly more realistic while ensuring the person isn't some late adolescent with daddy issues (and thereby avoiding any ethical problem). I don't expect younger women to want me however. If I die alone so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 08:15 AM
-2

If they liked the sensation of being hit, pain, then why wouldn't they just hit themselves? Or sleep on a bed of nails? Why put themselves in that situation. Violence is by its nature the exercise of control over another, and this is a simulation of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 08:00 AM
-3

quite the insult to men to say they're so immature don't you think, and I'm curious about the implications of thinking men are this immature, should the age of consent for men be 27 and the drinking and voting age for men be 29? Men and women relative to one another. Women are fully psychologically developed by 32. With men it's about 43. That doesn't mean they aren't sufficiently developed to vote, consent, drink, drive, etc. The BDSM community is very clear on what kind of measures should be t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:20 AM
5

Relax, these women don't want you either. Some of them do though. I've interacted (and been shouted at) by them. How is an anecdote from an obscure subculture applicable at all? It isn't just the subculture. The 50 Shades of Grey franchise has sold over 150 million books. That's approaching the size of Western Europe in sales. The Harry Potter series - the best selling book series in history - is 600 million. The movies grossed over a billion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:34 AM
1

Well then, maybe the so-called left in the US shouldn't have vilified half the electorate? Clueless, immature young men - who are well behind women their ages maturity wise - have been duped into voting against their interests under the guise of anti-feminist or 'pro masculine' movements.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 10:29 PM
–

Any preferences they choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:54 AM
–

Ah yes, 'just go your own damn way already' MGTOW. What a joke that 'movement' was.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:51 AM
1

It kinda does because you were claiming weight has nothing to do with it. If half the population is obese then it doesn't matter if they have attractive bone structures underneath.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 12:39 PM
2

Look up Christian Bale preparing for the role of Dick Cheney. He's unrecognizable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 03:30 AM
6

...but a very large minority did and consequently the gender divide isn't all that large (45% vs 55%)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 03:02 AM
4

45% of women voted Trump in 2024
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:59 PM
1

Is isn't normal/average men who try to invoke social justicey type concepts as to why members of the opposite sex don't want them. We don't blame 'cruel patriachal beauty standards' or claim women who don't want us 'can't see men as people.' The closest equivalent to that is incels. And yet I hear these kind of statements on mainstream women's space all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:48 PM
1

Men get offended when mid women are attracted to men who are much more attractive than them. Speak for yourself. That's just human nature. Most people want an attractive partner regardless of where they stand.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:42 PM
1

Men would not be calling HR - that's the point here.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:38 PM
12

Preferences are discriminatory. The purpose of dating is to discriminate according to preference. It can't be any other way. As long as women don't have a problem with men preferring younger (adult), slimmer, feminine looking women who are physically active and fun to be around - and they often have major problems with this - then I don't judge their preferences for tall, masculine, assertive men. (And it makes zero difference in either case because attraction isn't a negotiation or by edict.)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:17 PM
0

...what?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 10:31 AM
3

It'll affect her ability to relate to people or comfortably interact with men. It'll affect her appearance when drugs/alcohol or overreacting are used as coping strategies for trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:48 AM
2

What has porn got to do with choosing who youh sleep with? Pornography isn't representative of real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:40 AM
0

Yea, they do though, often enough. An in shape but shy (or some other 'defect' western women can't tolerate) man isn't going to be getting an in shape shy woman; he'll be getting used as a punching bag by a now overweight woman with eons of experience over him.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:21 AM
1

The developing world are typically more traditional and expect more money from the ‘exotic Westerner’. At least that's a straightforward expectation. They wouldn't expect men to be 'all things at all times' as per the fantasies of social media addicted qweens in the west.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 11:35 PM
3

The population density in major cities abroad will be similar (sometimes higher) to that of major cities in the US/Europe. Why would being foreign give you a better chance than a citizen ? Explained why. Novelty factor (assuming the man isn't gross). Not being openly contemptuous of women (assuming the guy isn't looking for a servant, just a partner). That would put him ahead of a lot of locals. Does “not being shit tier” equal “genuine desire”? Probably not, but a man's ability to provide a dec…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 11:32 PM
1

It's population in a limited geographic area that you might cross paths with in daily life, not overall population. Population densities are similar. Because their shit tier is different. Because a lot those shit tier men in 'traditional' cultures might not believe in basic human rights for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 11:16 PM
0

Smaller dating pool. Fewer chances in daily life. The exotic/novelty factor can play into a genuine attraction advantage for some men, assuming they meet a looks minimum standard. (Admittedly many passport bros don't.) Women in the US/UK have a burning hatred of shier type men, that doesn't seem to be such a thing with women from other cultures. Other laundry lists of demands from women in the developed world with inflated egos (the simultaneously emotionally available / but still Manly Man 'per…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 11:00 PM
1

75% of women in the US are overweight or obese. Being in the minority of men who are in shape in the US doesn't guarantee and in shape partner because the small dating pool = fewer opportunities.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:43 PM
6

Maybe those men do have options at home. Maybe they're just more attracted to a prettier, younger, slimmer, more feminine looking woman, as opposed to an overweight, unfeminine looking woman (particularly one who is bitter af). Kinda like if there were countries where men were taller/more attractive , women would want to 'passport hoe' there. Melania was 28 when she met Trump BTW.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:24 PM
4

The people discouraging women from approaching are usually man-hating women who consider every man a threat. Nobody normal in 2026 gives a shit if you want to ask men out or hook up.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:35 PM
7

Everything you said is the mirror flip of reality. There's no judgement for women. You can thirst after all the Cavill's and Hemsworth's you want and nobody will label you a "misandrist." What a joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:32 AM
5

Yup. What some guys seem to mistake as friendship is really just staying on polite terms. That isn't the friend zone so much as the 'I don't want to offend you but hope that you dissappear at some point' zone.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:23 AM
9

People break up all the time, people die, people get cheated on. There's no comparison with people who struggle to form one intimate bond with another person over the entire course of their lives, though, is there. And everyone dies. Does that somehow nullify the content of life before they die? If you truly can't be happy without having a romantic partner, you straight up are not going to be a good partner anyway. Meme worthy, cringe tier stuff. Adults should be able to be independent without f…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:42 AM
11

...people are telling OP that trying to meet women that way counts as an evil ulterior motive regardless of outward attitude/actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:30 PM
11

Most people aren't going to be happy when faced with the prospect of being alone for life, so this is essentially 'fake contentment in order to not appear desperate.' Agreed, that's much better than appearing miserable, but it's delusional to think this is anything beyond a front.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:17 PM
1

That's not what I said - but listen to you, you're obsessed with height!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:16 AM
1

Okay let's hear the same argument being applied to men preferring younger women, hotter women, etc, without the usual controversy and shaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:23 AM
0

It isn't worth arguing something so implausible and silly as "women don't have egos."
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:11 AM
-5

Or it's disagreeing to be contrarian, one-up and win arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:08 AM
-1

This is only fair from the perspective of who women choose to date not how they behave towards men they're already involved with. If you entered a restaurant only to see other customers being seated and served ahead of you even though you got there before them, wouldn't you be annoyed? A more relevant analogy would be dating a man who cheaps out the whole time and shows luke warm enthusiasm in comparison to his last gf where he pays for expensive dates/trips. Would you be okay with this? Be hone…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:56 AM
8

Believe it or not, most of us aren't willing to 'do anything' either. I'm also not bothered by lack of partner That's why you're on a sub like this. Like countless other women who say this while posting on relationship subs.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 02:26 AM
18

Lol....The Halo Bias is so strong with these women that they can argue without a hint of self-awareness that attractive = stable, loyal, considerate partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 02:23 AM
3

Endless anecdotes from other guys talking about how women they were dating expected them to just know plus statements from women calling it lame or unmasculine when men ask. It's pretty easy to read hard patterns in behaviour and social norms.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 12:33 AM
1

You are arguing like a child or a control freak. I didn't say touching someone's erogenous zones out-of-the-blue like that was okay, but non sexual touching is not something normal people want to seek verbal consent for every time in the context of relationships. I feel sorry for husband who has to listen to this sanctimonious nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 12:15 PM
2

Nobody should need to seek consent for minor touches. And almost nobody does. If that's unwanted, then it counts as a minor annoyance, and that's all it is. Sexual touching is something else.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 11:51 AM
4

They also complain about a lack of non sexual touch from their partners - 'every day' casual touching.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 11:37 AM
7

Well, if you're talking about touching someone's naked body then you need to be certain. But every hand on an arm, or arm around a back? What? No. That's removing spontaneity while placing the specter of sexual assault over everything. That sounds awful, as well as incredibly tedious, and I doubt many couples meet that requirement or want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 09:14 AM
4

....oof, sounds awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:33 AM
5

Do you do that every time you touch him?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:24 AM
8

A significantly % of women if not a majority would find it very off-putting if a man they were interested in directly asked for verbal permission to touch/kiss them. "He should just know" etc. Plenty of women don't show enthusiasm as a way to test for interest level, or they grew up within conservative cultures where it isn't the norm. Most women aren't woke or care about any of these legalistic criteria, so take it up with them. How many people even with these politics would ask for verbal perm…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:14 AM
6

Then what - stay single forever? This is the 'mass extinction' advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:05 AM
7

Welcome to the lives of huge numbers of men who have never been on the receiving end of any kind interest from women let alone the pure intentioned, highly invested kind. It was always completely normal/customary to them to receive a lot of attention, validation, and personal interest that was never reciprocated. To be blunt, maybe you were just batting out of your league? That almost sounds like Nice Guy rhetoric.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 06:05 AM
5

Imagine if we said "generic black woman."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 05:44 AM
1

Just keep trying for another 6 months with barely any matches? How much further - 6 years? Just admit women use these apps for narcissistic reasons. He's a decent looking guy. You would expect he'd be some women's cup of tea out of tens of thousands. What an absurd comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 05:37 AM
1

Striking a small conversation is not disregarding women's concerns. Vast amounts of online rhetoric says that approaching someone without clear unambiguous signals (which in reality hardly ever meet that criteria) is already disregarding someone's comfort level.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 08:35 AM
–

.... by not sleeping with him until she has a better gauge on who she's getting involved with? I'm talking months to a year rather than weeks. But then that requires self-control and common sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 08:29 AM
1

I have never met a woman who does. Clearly your experience is pretty limited then. There are women's UFC divisions along with every variety of martial arts and contact sports.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:27 AM
1

Just as an aside, you really must live in your own world... plenty of women enjoy watching fighting and contact sports. There's women's UFC divisions along with women's division in every variety of martial arts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:25 AM
3

Pattern implies a significant percentage. Going by 3 or more gunshot victims (including injured) there are around 600 mass shootings ever year in the US. This is a handful of already mentally unstable individuals over the space of 10 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:00 AM
2

Get ready for a roasting...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 08:28 AM
4

That's a tiny fraction of the mass shootings that happen every year. Nobody is denying men are responsible but focusing on lonely men as a particular threat is dubious.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 04:14 AM
4

Nobody gets to take the moral high ground as far as the nature of desire is concerned. However it's clear many people eventually end up loving one another in a more altruistic sense (not too different from how we might care about blood relatives or very close friends).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:46 AM
1

I understand sample or reporting bias, but I don't believe it's the case on these sorts of issues - and I can say with certainty you wouldn't be applying argument to women online expressing fears of men or concerns around harassment ("this is just a small aggrieved minority") This gets trundled out with men who struggle to fit in somewhere in order to discount the idea of there being additional barriers for them. There is data on this. A largish % of men (around 15%) have no close fiends. Again …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 02:07 AM
1

Well I don't know then, dude.... don't you read the accounts of men who commonly say that people are cold and indifferent towards them as a norm? That it takes ages to break into a social circle? That they're always on the outer edge and about to discarded for any minor infraction. Getting presumptions and personal with people I didn't know that well has never really worked out. I'll just return to the earlier point; Maybe you're just better looking/more socially adept than a lot of men and that…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 12:33 AM
8

If you're in the US then the first thing to advocate for is universal health care and better labour laws.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:57 AM
–

Do you jump on every toxic comment from women here?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:32 AM
-2

Society requires soldiers, fireman, policeman etc. to function. Below replacement birthrate is currently being addressed through immigration from high birthrate countries. There's no immediate need to coax people into it, and paying people, while a nice idea, has so far proven to be mostly ineffective because the drop in birthrate is largely for cultural/lifestyle reasons (middle class people who might be able to afford more kids aren't having them).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:27 AM
–

Those men are near universally viewed as assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 10:00 AM
1

Then all I can to say is that you move in remarkably open circles, because that has not been my experience with new acquaintances or even men I've known as friends for a couple of years. Personal lives are generally out-of-bounds for discussion unless you know someone particularly well. (The reason I'm in this situation has little to do with the OP, gender wars, or general social struggles, although I no doubt would struggle if I actually tried. I'm 47 now and there's zero reason to seek out a f…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 03:25 AM
1

You would be predisposed to think positively about your clients (your job would be hell otherwise) i.e. You're pretty far from the average woman. That isn't how society views their problems with loneliness. They are viewed as the problem, always, and that goes for the passive easily manipulated types, who need to man the fuck up. And no offence intended here but paying a woman to spend time with you seems dystopian and tantamount to an admission of utter desperation.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 03:14 AM
–

Well then you would be predisposed to think positively about your clients (your job would be hell otherwise). But that isn't how society views men's problems with dating, loneliness, and so on. They are the problem, always. And no offence intended, but paying a woman to spend time with you seems dystopian and tantamount to an admission of utter desperation.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 03:09 AM
0

It's the only time men initiate divorce in greater numbers than women and the only time he isn't concerned with alimony, because his wife is dying. That study's been debunked.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:29 PM
25

Society still has an interest in people pairing up, taking out mortgages, having little mini me future taxpayers/consumers, working hard and consuming until they die. I'm not sure the male provider aspect is relevant any more. In most situations both parents have to work, that isn't optional. Female emancipation lowers the cost of labour by doubling the supply - billionaire elites would naturally prefer this over stay-at-home mums becoming the norm again. And even loneliness has economic benefit…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 08:15 AM
1

When I was in my early 20s, my love life looked like Taylor Swift’s Oh FFS give us a break. The fact you're comparing you're young adult life of serial dating to the absolute bone-dry dessert of many young men's dating lives says it all. Those dating dead-ends would still have taught you important lessons. Now imagine you're an older Gen Z guy who's pushing 30 but has barely had a date. Most of the women his age have 10+ years experience. They judge him some incel-ish freak or manchild for havin…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 06:53 AM
1

You know what a bar/club is? “I voluntarily announce my interest in the dating game” Not really. That unstated understanding disappeared ages ago. Plenty of people argue women out having fun with friends aren't consenting to being bothered by men. There are no universally accepted spaces left beyond the apps or speed dating events.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 01:06 AM
0

Do virgins wear neon signs above their heads? It isn't normal to open discuss such things with new acquaintances. I am a virgin. A 47 yo virgin. For reasons that aren't so relevant to the OP (forced into a caregiver situation as a young man). However over the last 10- 15 years I've observed the rhetoric online grow more extreme and this isn't just echo chambers but in mainstream forums and dating subreddits. The algorithm/engagement bait has something to do with it but it isn't the whole story. …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:53 PM
2

53% of single young men say that fear of being judged as creepy reduces their likelihood of interacting with women, which correlates with 45% never asking someone out irl and a general increase in singleness. https://datepsychology.com/risk-aversion-and-dating/
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:36 PM
1

That's the result. The men who don't care about boundaries at all ignore the admonishment and approach anyway. They 'represent' men, which worsens matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 02:19 PM
1

Do you have confidence and courage?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 01:43 PM
2

There's several examples just on this OP of people who clearly aren't woke teens. Don't agree that ultimately it doesn't matter. Being labeled something adjacent to a sex offender matters. It just takes one weirdo to unfairly smear a man to his social circle and suddenly he's isolated and in a far worse position. Young men know this, hence why half of them haven't asked a women out in real life (and this isn't even cold approaching just asking in person). They read, they absorb, and this is the …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 01:32 PM
7

Men need to be sufficiently masculine before individual interests or creativity count for anything. It's a prerequisite for attraction, not the only factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:28 AM
6

Being that way themselves doesn't mean they find it attractive in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:16 AM
4

As in, who tf ever even does that shit? You, apparently. You’d have to really fuck up things socially after that if you drop the ball. Makes me think you're lying. You don't have to outright fuck things up with some awful faux pas. All it takes is an awkward smile or fumbled word. And that's assuming compatible personality/opinions. How likely is that with hundreds of interactions? So if the claim is a close to 100% success rate, then I'd say this is either BS or you're getting cut large amounts…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:03 AM
18

Fundamentally, I think trying to conform to hegemonic masculinity is a poor strategy to trying to date women. If women are the choosers, as the Red Pill often attests, then men need to market themselves towards women That's exactly what they're doing by conforming to masculine expectations. The way small businesses achieve success is by finding a niche, There aren't enough "niche" women consumers to go around - women who like shy, passive, unmasculine etc. men. Do you think men would be so keen …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:41 AM
-1

I meet people all the time. I'm not even interested in dating. But anyone with common sense would realize that is about religious conversion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:34 AM
12

OP was mainly talking about social spaces, not the supermarket. But imagine being a young man reading these neurotic rants while being told they need to initiate.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:51 AM
1

Notice in the OP how I talked about 'social spaces' not cold approaching on the street, although I agree there's a breakdown in social networks.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:34 AM
1

Comparing women approaching to men approaching automatically invalidates the argument. She invited you to her church. I hate to break it to you but this is 'sharing the gospel' not dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:32 AM
–

That happened to me, so there's no pretending. But as said I've heard too many bitter comments from 40 + women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:35 PM
–

Only a small minority of would be defending actual pedophilia (a significant % of pedophiles are women btw) and that gets jumped and condemned immediately in any mainstream space. The problem is "young girls" often means young adult women who are in many cases well into their 20s or even early 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:39 PM
–

JFC where to begin with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:11 PM
–

That sounds reasonable, but many (most) men get zero swipes, zero opportunity to engage/send a message.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:09 PM
–

Um...Wait a minute. Isn't approaching women in bars/clubs without consent (i.e. 100% certainty of mutual interest) tantamount to assault these days? This is what men have been told for quite a few years now. So guys who 'keep it online' are just doing what they're told.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:53 PM
1

Um. Wait a minute. I thought approaching women in bars/clubs or other social spaces without consent (i.e. 100% certainty of mutual interest) was tantamount to assault? I mean, men who 'keep it online' are just doing what they're told, aren't they? Don't they deserve a pat on the head?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:30 PM
1

You admit that you can't turn a woman down for sex so "women are the gatekeepers" and admit you'd fuck anything - I can't help chuckling at statements like this. I'm a middle aged (47) virgin due to a mixture of personal failure when I was young (neckbeard as a young man) and caregiving responsibilities. According to some I should be the most clownishly desperate individual possible. Yet you could not pay me enough to sleep with the majority of women my age (or even many younger women due to how…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:08 AM
7

The data also shows that both men and women score less on empathy towards men. Men are the disposable sex because we hold less biological value (i.e. we don't bear children) - there's no way around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:32 AM
0

Fantasizing about paragliding is different from fantasizing about sexual assault (or trying to simulate it via a technically consenting action that simulates non-consent). You are turned on by sexual violence, admit it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 12:39 AM
2

There's no disingenuous aspect with that - it isn't perverting something into something else - the point is to dominate your opponent. Sexual violence is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:33 PM
1

No, you're just a child who can't argue.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:56 AM
0

Strawmanning to avoid the point. Women who are turned on by and take part in fantasy powerplay sex are damaged hypocrites. Men who take part in it have a very ugly side to them. Healthy people do not enjoy BDSM.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:46 AM
3

Even bdsm erotica. That does not mean she wants to be dominated in bed in real life. It does not mean she wants to be abused. It does not mean she has secret rape fantasies. BDSM is basically simulated abuse. Restraining someone, physically dominating or hitting them implies something done against their will. It being consensual doesn't change the nature of the fantasies driving it. Can you say the same for porn? That there's no coercion and sex trafficking involved? Of course there is, but even…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:41 AM
1

Except being kind often isn't a prerequisite. What world are you living in where the majority of women only ever date kind men?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:20 AM
8

You wouldn't say that about men who desire to dominate women sexually or watch violent porn. "Oh it's only in that context." Being into a sexualized power dynamic says something about someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:16 AM
0

Given the range of denominations and contradicting dogmas, we have no choice but to call anyone who claims to be a Christian a Christian. Similar thing with feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 03:15 AM
-1

They understand it, claim it, and support it when it benefits them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 03:03 AM
-1

It isn't a layman's lack of understanding but a deliberate attempt to cherry pick parts of feminist rhetoric. Educated women who expect 'high value' men to always initiate and pay for everything despite earning decent incomes understand the conflict between the official position and personal preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:59 AM
0

Astrology has zero supporting evidence. Supporting evidence for evo psych includes something as basic as sexual dimorphism.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:30 AM
0

Weight is 99% down to lifestyle choices. It's possible to reduce the likelihood of becoming a single mother (not necessarily blaming all single mothers but there's an aspect of personal agency around this). Normal men don't suddenly stop being attracted to women past 25 or 30. Men's height isn't a choice. Neither is early pattern baldness or innate introversion. Overcoming years of bullying and social isolation is doable but extremely challenging. This isn't comparing like with like.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:57 AM
0

Macken Murphy is a manosphere fraud? https://youtube.com/@murphymacken?si=VwqOLG0RfxryMGop Evo psych concepts have mainstream academic support. If humans selected partners at random our species wouldn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:56 PM
3

Yea my bad, I skimmed a paragraph.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:16 PM
-1

Contemporary third wave feminism could be best summed up by Female Dating Strategy types co-opting it for personal gain. Invoking lack of agency when it's convenient all the while re-enforcing the very things they pretend to criticize at the 'systemic' level (classism/dated gender norms as they pertain to men).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:12 PM
3

The higher standard deviation in male IQ and resulting life outcomes is well known, however I think that downplays a host of social factors and modern dating woes. Women aren't necessarily choosing high IQ men; they're choosing secure, masculine men with social skills who take the initiative. Imagine you're a reasonably intelligent young man who was shy and bullied all through adolescence. You suffered through it with low self-esteem. Now, as a young adult, you're expected to read social cues pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:26 PM
3

It's unlikely that the majority of lonely people are unemployed and lacking in basic hygiene.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 07:07 AM
3

Yet again women here removing agency from other women who knowingly date toxic men. A significant portion don't care as long as the man in question is hot enough, exciting/fun to be around and masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 06:59 AM
1

...So as 47 yo virgin male, if a woman I had not interest in, who I didn't like or respect found me attractive, that would still 'count' as an ego boost. If a 60 yo gay man found me attractive, I'd take that as an ego boost too. So maybe we are just built differently and you - like may women - being more neurotic on average, more predisposed to think on the unwanted aspect. You think this because you do not consider any woman a danger or a threat. Plenty of women know that unwanted attention can…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 01:12 PM
1

No I was responding to the general point that bad options don't count. I disagree. Being found attractive including by people you aren't attracted to (maybe sometimes by people you may even loathe) is arguably better than not, because that raises the possibility of being found attractive by someone you do like: It implies that you're capable of being 'seen' by the opposite sex. It makes far more logical sense that you’d get the ego boost from actually fucking these women, dude. You want options …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 12:15 PM
–

It's only flattering if they're already attracted to the man in question. Why not just admit that this is the result of halo bias and leave it there? Blaming patriarchy for everything is a lame form of 'toxic femininity' (feigned helplessness, lack of agency).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 01:42 AM
–

Not at all. Most people want options for purely egotistical reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 01:12 AM
2

Right, so all this is about annoyance/disgust at older guys hitting on you. That's fair enough I guess, but there's no need to dump on other people's consensual relationships that have nothing to do with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:30 PM
6

When a man is falsely accused what are the consequences? Not much. Oh I dunno, losing his job, his social circle, being alienated from his family? If you were to limit this to the likelihood of it happening it would be one thing, but to claim there are no consequences when it does happen is absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 09:26 AM
6

Unspoken rules around personal space, dark alleys, and so on govern the extremes of negative behaviour. That doesn't protect someone from accusations, nasty rumours, or uncharitable judgments. If you were to ask a thousand women for the context in which they prefer to be approached/asked out they'll be a thousand different responses, the only consensus being obvious no-no's like groping, leering, following someone, being too persistent etc. (even then persistence isn't always a problem). Yes, me…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 08:49 AM
15

If you're looking for consistency or a global set of rules to follow don't bother: Just don't approach in weird situations (the street or a confined space) and move on when it's clear it isn't mutual.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 04:05 AM
7

That's pretty obvious tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:55 AM
6

The thing with anecdotes is everyone has them. I know two men who married and had families with women 15 years younger than them. These guys weren't even upper-middle class income level at the time let alone wealthy. Clearly their wives didn't get the memo. Raging over the prospect of invisibility, which is something large numbers of men have been struggling with all their lives is giving off strong incel vibes OP. Sorry that you aren't owed a partner when you're 50 but that's a reality we've ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:42 AM
2

Guessing this was the OP
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:23 AM
10

That isn't sugar dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:21 AM
1

I was mainly responding to the false claim that men as a group care more. Most people are aware of correlations between emotional issues, childhood trauma, high partner count and higher divorce rate/relationship instability. The reasoning re pair bonding might be off but the conclusion is still valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:17 PM
0

"More males" as in a fringe group in the manosphere. Yea, okay, I can concede that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 10:10 AM
1

Except men don't care more. If anything they care slightly less. The preference for a lower partner count isn't gendered. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-025-12607-1 To sum up. While there were differences between countries in the size of this effect, in all countries, the more sex partners a person had in the past, the more negatively that person was judged as a good potential spouse. Further, there was little evidence that women were judged more harshly than men. Source Having more than…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 09:40 AM
3

Teen Boys/ young men are about 7-11 years behind girls so that's not surprising. A first relationship is going to have a more profound impact on a less developed brain and personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 09:31 AM
1

Most people have a preference for a partner with a lowish count; Women actually have a slightly higher preference for that than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 09:28 AM
1

Yea I can see that. Your generation are at an extreme disadvantage in some respects compared to older millenials/gen x (housing, job security etc.). In many ways because of millenials/gen x. So you cling to this kind of quasi new puritanism the way some people cling to religion.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 11:14 PM
-4

It should be easy enough to filter out the crackpots or maga/far right men. Usually a few messages over dm would be enough. You aren't just filtering that though, obviously, and in certain respects liberal women favour traits more associated with conservatism (good provider, stereotypical masculinity etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:28 PM
2

A lot of what youpointed out has nothing to do with dating, and to somehow connect this brand of quasi populist fascism to every man who leans conservative - and there's plenty of women who lean conservative or maga - is really pushing it. Nevertheless it should be easy enough to filter out the crackpots or far right men. Usually a few messages over dm would be enough. You aren't just filtering that, though...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:27 PM
2

Society designates 16-17 year old's as children in order to protect them (as it should).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:41 PM
1

Women are generally attracted to protector-provider traits. That could be described as hypergamous because like you said, that often aligns with status, but hypergamy isn't necessary to explain it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:43 AM
14

Teens is dodgy but women shame 35+ men for still being attracted to twenty somethings. A preference for a healthy bmi is framed as a "pedo beauty standard" in some circles. Most of us non-incels are aware women prefer taller masculine type men without blowing a gasket over it - shaming is women's go-to not ours.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:05 AM
1

Not broke. But again to just jump to that is revealing. "Doing very well for himself" is saying the quiet part out loud here. You need to be more subtle about it. FYI Upper-middle class/wealthy men tend to be exclusively "romantically" interested in younger/hot women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 10:33 PM
1

Ahh yes....wants a rich guy. Why can't women here just be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 09:12 PM
1

Paying for yourself is pretty much the opposite of a transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:01 AM
5

Somme quite absurd claims here. Wanting the respect of other men =/= romantic attraction or even a desire for close friendships. The hell are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 10:59 AM
1

...there's something creepy about measuring enthusiasm that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 12:52 AM
1

..Oh so you'd be paying for the next date? You'd be alternating it... right?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 12:45 AM
8

There isn't enough space in a reddit comment to provide dozens of anecdotes from my life. Suffice to say all it takes is one awkward smile or fumbled word to be judged as creepy or inadequate. Being seen as creepy by women; a loser by other men. No community/group to withdraw back into. Nobody in your corner. Women would lose their minds if they had to experience something like that. This is by all accounts a lesbian woman who didn't even undergo testosterone treatment. Ned passed sufficiently a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 12:35 AM
8

Okay. Tell us how one week as an unattractive man looks like so we know. What do you believe is different? What are your unique struggles we're not experiencing? Unattractive men are threat-profiled in just about every situation AND they're still expected to initiate romantic interactions. Norah Vincent went 'undercover' passing as a man for a year. (Not an ugly man either, but less masculine.) https://youtu.be/0-uv8gT9Kxw?si=42KEghJmp3ivJcE7
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 11:02 PM
21

Yes it must be so horrible to have romantic relationships handed to them on a platter along with all the halo bias of being attractive and a member of the wonderful gender (/s) Compare that to living as an unattractive or unmasculine man with the resulting treatment. Norah Vincent did that and had to check herself into a psychiatric hospital.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:19 PM
2

Honestly still a bit surprising just how focussed they are on that. Also note the not-so-subtle 'if you really liked a woman you'd pay for her' manipulation tactic.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:35 PM
1

It goes without saying that paying for a new acquaintance' s meal has none of the obligations attached to supporting a pregnant partner. You're paying for your meal - not 'the bills' in a shared household - and doing so as presumably an employed self-sufficient adult getting to know another self-sufficient adult. The nature of that connection isn't one where he owes you anything. All men do not collectively owe all women everywhere free meals or free anything. Having children is a choice most of…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:26 PM
1

Which suggests you aren't interested in 50/50 when it comes to time/effort/affection etc. That's why it's a red flag. Most of the time it isn't about the money.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:11 PM
–

It's difficult to see how anarchism solves any of this. Guilt still needs to be established for rehabilitation to happen. The justice system is woefully inadequate when it comes to prosecuting these sort of crimes, but what's the alternative. Rapists aren't going to hand themselves over of their own free will. Rehabilitation and victim support require funding. In a social democracy that's generally paid for with taxes. If someone murdered a relative of mine I would want that individual punished.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 07:41 AM
–

Sounds completely impractical, also good luck selling that to women who have been the victim of SA (or victims of violent crimes in general). We need a centralized state to enforce laws and fund everything that needs funding.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:38 AM
–

Most men are just not going to get romantic love That's some prime cope you've get there... Where do you get the idea that most men aren't dating/in relationships? Maybe there';s more young men in this situation but the majority are still finding an SO eventually. This is trying to universalize despair and loneliness so it doesn't sting so much. We are still outliers.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 02:35 PM
3

Sure, unless being your authentic self means being shy, neurotic, anxious, self-doubting and traumatized by years of bullying or isolation during adolescence. Inauthentic slime balls get into relationships all the time; they're just better at putting on a mask and manipulation. They're more convincing with it. How can you be this clueless about the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:38 PM
–

The fact you can't see the hypocrisy in the statement 'don't be creepy, wait until women select you' is pretty funny tbh, as if women hold carte blanche permission to show interest and not be judged the same way, Fact remains women asking men out is still minority behaviour in any space.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:03 AM
2

Can't win. If he doesn't try he's a basement dweller loser who needs to go outside. If he does, he's creeping women out by just being a straight male sharing space with women. I mean how can anyone argue with collectivized blame.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 11:33 AM
3

Experiences in adolescence/early adulthood are critical to the kind of people we become.If you were rejected or isolated at that age you'll carry that with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 11:07 AM
19

He means being top tier in the looks/psychological department. Tall, handsome, outgoing/low neuroticism. In which case it would be better to be in that minority of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:49 PM
4

The things we want are tied to what we currently are so the question doesn't make sense. Obviously as a straight guy I don't find other men attractive and I don't relate to other men the way women relate to one another. Worrying about personal safety/SA would be a huge downside, absolutely. Period pain. Gotta be awful But then weigh that against being accepted in social spaces and general friendlier treatment from people. Not being constantly threat assessed, or coldly judged according to status…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 09:15 PM
1

There's people who don't have sex in relationships, and obviously the elderly. Nobody would just describe them as friends. The motive is to dehumanize and invalidate. Like I said women here are predictable.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 02:36 AM
1

...always funny when the mask falls off.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 02:12 AM
0

Fucking women... Reducing men's interest in relationship down to 'fucking.' How predictable.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 12:44 AM
1

Entirely unrealistic advice for anyone over 30. There's no community in developed/western societies. The internet is full of complaints from people who can't find friends despite trying for years and that includes women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 10:28 PM
1

I didn't say it makes literally no difference, but often it's the difference between miserable and marginally less miserable. Friendships tend to fall away with age despite people's best efforts. It's condescending to argue that inconsistent or infrequent platonic interaction is going to do anything significant to fill a void where a partner/family would be, i.e. make someone 'happy enough' if not entirely fulfilled. And that insulting refrain only gets put to men to get them to stop expressing …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 09:52 PM
–

...Yea, except I'm responding to the OP's claims that all or most attractive women agree to dates with men they don't like for no other reason than dinner.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 11:57 AM
3

The last sentence kinda makes sense, but I've always found it weird the idea that someone would choose to spend an hour + with someone they're lukewarm about (at best) just for a free meal, as if being payed for were some oh so important deciding factor. You basically don't like someone in that case.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 10:57 AM
2

Liking cute boys is usually limited to teenage girls. They're non-threatening. You aren't going to find many fully grown women obsessing over male k-pop groups with boyish appearances.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 10:18 AM
1

What country are you in, if you don't mind?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:23 AM
8

You want patriarchy. To be more precise, to cherry pick the aspects that benefit you while doing away with gender norms that harm or inconvenience women. That's mainstream feminism. We'll believe it when women en masse start approaching, dating men who are shorter than them, earn significantly less than them, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 10:28 PM
0

Beauty standards are as much hardwired as socialized. Same with men's utility. Society can adjust to lessen the extremes but it can't change how we're hardwired by countless millenia of adaptation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 10:19 PM
0

A man can be a confirmed bachelor Lol no.... this is so far off base. Bachelor implies experience and choice. That's a world away from men who have never been able to form an intimate bond with a women. Men who haven't been vouched for via past relationships are typecast in the worst way: pedophiles or other shades of deviant, mentally unbalanced, dangerous, etc. Did you ever see The Lovely Bones? Think George Harvey. Joker is another obvious example. It isn't just 'toxic' men laughing. A large …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 09:19 AM
0

But without it, romantic loneliness is way harder than it needs to be. ...It'll be horrible, friends or no friends. thrive without men and without sex So they claim. Often, a little too loudly, and too often. Most people, when facing a lifetime alone without a partner, aren't going to be "thriving." Also, standards and attraction are absolutely linked. You wouldn't say women who loudly proclaim they'll only ever consider '666 rule' men as just listing what they're attracted to, would you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:05 AM
-1

Standards are distinct from attraction. If a man told you he could only be into hot 25 yo instagram models and no other women could feasibly be attractive, would you believe that was a legit standard or would you think he was being absurdly picky in that case? And here you are with that tired refrain arguing for platonic connections as a substitute for romantic attention (that almost everybody wants), which is something that only gets said to men. Social circle is important but it isn't a substi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 01:38 AM
10

Romantic loneliness is judged differently according to gender. If you're unable to attract a partner then it's the result of cruel beauty standards or creepy users who won't commit. You're still worthy. If we're undesirable then it's 100% personal failure - bad social skills, covert misogyny or just bad looks/genes. We're losers and genetic dead ends. (Which maps to the historical reality of fewer men reproducing.) Given how that's the message, men will be inclined to seek validation from women …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 10:29 PM
0

...So you tell other women to go to the gym/lose weight?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 09:35 PM
1

But we don't? What are you complaining about then? You aren't being "tricked" into sex you're not having, and if you are having it, you're making your own judgement call, just like those men. And yall also are mad at women for treating you on a personal level like we don't trust you I wouldn't be mad that a woman I barely knew didn't completely trust me, including trust me enough for that. What a ridiculous thing to be angry about. You earn that kind of trust. If you as a man is telling me not t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:56 PM
-2

...Or use common sense and not jump in the sack with men they barely know.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:50 PM
–

Seems kinda unlikely that a large % of women are going on dates with men they aren't interested in just to get a free meal.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 11:06 AM
-1

Lying doesn't cancel out consent. You should be aware that some people lie. This is part of existing as an adult in society. Particularly in the early/getting to know one another dating stage. If you choose to believe someone you barely know then you consented to what is effectively taking a gamble. Most decisions are judgement calls and that's certainly what that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 10:23 AM
–

There's no irony, because we aren't a Borg collective. Individuals have different opinions/perspectives. I have contempt for guys who whine over something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 09:22 AM
5

...It's because women used to be economically dependent on men. If the difference between agreeing to a date or not is getting a free meal then you should probably do him a favor and just decline.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:21 AM
3

Nobody is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to have sex early on. Also kind of funny you think men paying is somehow going to filter those guys out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:08 AM
8

Men initiating is expected as a cultural norm. Women openly admit they would never ask a man out, even those they're interested in. They expect the man to do it and if he doesn't then he's not worth their time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:02 AM
2

Who the hell is going to bring this up in a conversation beforehand?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:00 AM
5

It's middle class men who care most about women's incomes.They tend to care about providing opportunities for their kids but aren't wealthy enough to do that on one income. Poor people generally aren't thinking about maximizing opportunity for their kids and the very wealthy don't have that concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 11:00 AM
–

It's a contradiction to be on a dating sub saying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 05:03 AM
–

To whine about how crappy men are as partners while loudly stating how they're not interested anymore. Correct, anyone who really wasn't interested in dating wouldn't be there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 03:28 AM
0

The older 40 + dating subs are full of neurotic middle-aged women raging because now they're having to deal with male level of invisibility. For people who "don't care" about dating they have a lot to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 09:15 PM
3

Seems like you've been watching too many old sitcoms. (The bungling inept husband is a comedy trope, not an ideal.) Women haven't been economically dependent on men for at least 50 years. Applying this to gen x or millennials is peak reddit absurdity. It was easier for men to date in the 90s/2000s because standards were more grounded; people dated within their social network, the apps weren't creating a perception of endless choice, plus there wasn't a hivemind telling women they're all '10s' de…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:54 PM
1

You've been watching too many old sitcoms. Women haven't been economically dependent on men for at least 50 years. It was easier for men to date in the 90s/2000s because standards weren't unrealistic; the apps weren't a factor then and there wasn't hivemind telling women they're all '10s' and deserve high earning peak specimens of masculinity partners
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:32 PM
1

You've been watching too many old sitcoms. Women haven't been economically dependent on men for at least 50 years. It was easier for men to date in the 90s/2000s because standards weren't unrealistic; the apps weren't a factor then and there wasn't hivemind telling women they're all 10s' and deserve high earning peak specimens of masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:29 PM
1

What happened was I chose to drink those beverages. She did not stand there and pour them down my throat. If my inhibitions were down after that, that was still my choice to have them down. This is a million miles away from violent coercion.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 08:52 AM
1

But you think anything I say should automatically be taken seriously, and therefore I should have the power to ruin her life over something like that if I wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 08:48 AM
1

Sure, if you want to create a society full of infantilized adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 08:39 AM
1

I’m not equating them. You shouldn’t be held responsible for something you had no way of knowing. It’s when they do know that it’s an issue. Sometimes a person will buy someone else way too many drinks on purpose. Sometimes they will mix that with a high pressure situation as well. I've had a woman I wasn't interested in buy me drinks all night. I wasn't too drunk to not make a quick exit from her apartment when I had to (which I only agreed to go to out of politeness). By your standard, it woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 08:33 AM
1

I blocked a former friend after I found out that he had pressured another friend of mine into a sexual relationship on the day of her father’s funeral ...That's monstrous behaviour on the part of your former friend. However I don't think it's fair to equate that to men not doing adequate due diligence as far how many drinks a woman has had, particularly if she's the initiator. I don't know if you noticed, but alcohol is commonly consumed in the same spaces where people meet partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 08:08 AM
6

It's worth pointing out that 25-35% of porn consumers in Europe are women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 04:23 AM
1

Male socializing is often hierarchical, and men towards the top of that totem pole tend to be (over)confident and extroverted, which inevitably is going to make them more attractive to women in a general sort of way. However, obvious, intentional cruelty isn't an attractive trait. Men who enjoy being cruel to others are more likely to be cruel to their partners. They're a poor bet for long-term stability.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 04:10 AM
1

People can be or appear enthusiastic while still having their decision making affected by a myriad of influences that might not even be known to the other party. However, according to this standard, that is still non-consensual.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:50 AM
1

Lack of sleep... depression.... recovering from a recent breakup. All of this affects decision-making. Defining non-consent as people behaving in ways they otherwise wouldn't is opening a can of worms.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:35 AM
1

You're describing every semi-drunk sexual encounter as probably non-consensual. That's millions of encounters, that most people have had at some point. Alcohol removes inhibitions, it doesn't make you do something you fundamentally don't want or remove critical thinking skills as long as you're still capable of understanding your surroundings. This is why drunk people are still accountable for getting behind the wheel or assaulting someone. Add to that the fact that alcohol is commonly used as a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:19 AM
1

The hell are you talking about? Men who are incoherent drunk can absolutely 'get it up.'
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:05 AM
1

The argument seems to be when both parties are equally incoherent. I also doubt the difference in alcohol tolerance would be so extreme that an average sized man could be "slightly tipsy" while a women is "completely beyond incoherent" after drinking the same amount.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:57 AM
–

And yet "I want a woman who isn't overweight" = misogyny
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 09:01 PM
1

We still have different expectations for men and women. We still send messages about masculinity and femininity. You'd expect some change to have filtered through by now though wouldn't you. Yet if you asked women in Sweden what they wanted in a man it'd be a strikingly similar answer to women in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:10 PM
1

You're also making a claim without evidence, based off a narrative that can't be assessed or observed in isolation. I'm arguing for what appears more plausible. 60+ years of mainstream feminism without this preference appearing to budge at all suggests it's mostly biology. Women are freer to choose than ever, and yet they choose stoic masculinity every time because the patriarchy brainwashed them into it, despite rigid gender roles being challenged and broken down across other spheres of life. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:38 PM
1

So humans are mildly dimorphic. We observe behavioural differences between men and women relating to hormonal balance. There are differences in brain structure. It would be a huge leap of faith to think biological differences didn't apply to sexual selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 11:22 AM
3

Is evidence required for something as basic as males being the disposable sex? We don't bear children. Men's value in early/pre-human groups would have been tied to protection and provision. Men who showed vulnerability would have been less effective in this role, therefore women would have adapted to filter against it. This of course applies across many species. If you want evidence at the genetic/biological level, look up the inverse relationship between testosterone and oxytocin.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 05:16 AM
1

Men are taught that emotional vulnerability makes them less desirable. Women are taught to see emotional vulnerability in men as less desirable. They aren't just taught it. It's less desirable at the innate level. Men are the disposable sex. We quite literally have less value to group survival because we don't bear children. Men's value early human groups would have been around protecting and providing. Men who show vulnerability would be less effective protectors and providers. Women evolved to…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 05:00 AM
0

I'm not discounting the entire study.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:03 AM
1

The study showed a small (desperate) minority of women who message first being less focused on looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:09 AM
1

I was responding to comment that women's messaging behaviour is 'fairer.'
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:05 AM
2

JFC - I'm not using it, the person I'm responding to is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 12:27 AM
3

Do you understand what a non-representative minority is? Those women messaging first would be the most desperate, and they still picked men ahead of the curve (ignoring the bottom half).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 12:25 AM
7

Only 10% of women send opening messages. You're taking about 10%. You can't compare the messaging behaviour of a majority of men and a small non-representative minority of women. Add the fact that the top third of men would be a much smaller number of individuals, given the tighter standard deviation then accounting for age range and geographic area. EDIT: My mistake it's actually 10% of opening messages that are sent by women - but it's still clearly a minority of women who do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 12:06 AM
2

It's a minority of that group. I'm on 'lonely male' spaces. The great majority don't want to take away women's rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 11:56 PM
0

They’re raging at women. A minority are. They’re threatening societal collapse and prophesying the looming dickpocalypse. Pointing out that many men are opting out isn't a threat. They’re harassing women and getting giddy about taking away women’s rights as punishment for being unattracted to unattractive men… Again, loud minority opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 11:48 PM
7

Men don't consider 80% of women "below average"
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 11:38 PM
-1

A lot of "lonely" men are picky, granted. But what are you basing this notion on anyway? "Realistic" options aren't always appealing and there's no reason to think they should be. A large element of attraction is innate, and some appearances just aren't attractive no matter if they're 'realistic' options. If 60% of men looked/smelt like they were homeless would you date one of them? Guessing your would just prefer to remain single in that case. And it's definitely both ways. Many overweight/unfe…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 10:28 PM
2

Objectification involves behaviour i.e. how you treat another person (or speak of them) not private thoughts/fantasies or latent attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 10:55 AM
1

A large % of men's dating problems come down to thirstiness/desperation and a lack of self-respect. Men make dating collectively more difficult for other men through this indiscriminate attention. Boorish creeps - who makes things even worse - get a pass from other men who lack the courage to confront them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 10:43 AM
5

This is such a PPD / no agency woman response. You don't have to withstand anything. You just have to avoid. If something feels off it probably is. The vast majority of abusive people couldn't manipulate themselves out of a paper bag.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 10:36 AM
1

I'm not sure different colleges is a good analogy for this. It's more like throwing a high school graduate into a Civil Engineer's role then expecting them to perform adequately. We're talking about crucial formative experiences that simply didn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 03:55 PM
1

It matters a lot that people who date share values, but hardly at all that they share similar experience. Disagree on that. Experience is part of who we are. It directly impacts our personalities, worldview, values, everything. So I can speak to this directly. I'm a 47 year old virgin who has barely had a date due to mix of personal failure when I was very young, then having to be a caregiver through the rest of my twenties to thirties. I can't say I feel that way at all about women near my age.…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:42 PM
1

Some of use would prefer someone who doesn't look like an overweight grandmother, particularly if we take care of ourselves. With whom it's easier to have a family. Someone who occasionally leaves the house would be nice. And maybe also someone who doesn't have eons of romantic experience over us, if we have none/little.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 01:07 PM
1

Younger is generally more attractive. Every bit of data points to men being most attracted to twenty-somethings regardless of their own ages. And nobody wants to start dating in an older age group. Men who miss out on that in their youth - and it looks there's going to be more than ever - aren't going to relate to middle-aged divorcees as a first gf when they're 35 or 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 12:18 PM
–

Double-speak for a double standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:28 AM
1

The porn women watch is generally the same as what men watch. In fact women are more likely to watch violent porn than other kinds. This also tracks with the majority of participants in BDSM being women. So basically the opposite of what you're arguing here..
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:24 AM
1

Average "normal" older men don't find 45 year old women more attractive than 25 year old's all else being equal. The data backs that up. Even teenage boys find women in their 20s more attractive than girls their ages. Add the fact that the majority of 40 + women in the west are overweight and unfeminine looking and often have terrible attitudes (this applies to older men but we're talking about the male perspective). Then add previous relationship baggage and boring homebody lifestyles. Unless a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 06:17 AM
4

Right. It's dishonest, juvenile behaviour. Just ask somebody's political leanings and be done with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:53 AM
7

If it's about screening then maybe ask those questions over DM instead. Dates are meant to be fun while getting to know one another on a casual low stakes basis. Not a series of stare down questions where you shove your politics in someone else's face,
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:16 PM
25

It's putting someone on the spot and moving the date into too much of an interview style interaction. It's also incredibly corny. If you asked me which men I admired I'd cringe and struggle to answer that too. How many people have even thought about this? And now it's clear this person is neurotic and spends way too much time online. so I'd be inclined to end the date there and go enjoy the rest of my night. And it'd be easy for a man to just BS his way through if he wanted anyway. Name a femini…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:11 PM
7

Kind of flies in the face of women here who accuse every red pilled man of advocating coercion. Mature people of whatever viewpoint realize that mutual attraction is absolutely necessary. That said, laundry lists of non-negotiables don't help.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:43 AM
–

We'd expect those problems to stay about where they are not increase. Men have about 10 times the testosterone of women. Inevitably that's going to mean men are more aggressive (not an excuse, a fact of reality).Testosterone also inhibits oxytocin (the bonding hormone) which is partly why men are disinclined to reach out in times of hardship. Testosterone increases when men are stressed. Oxytocin increases when women are stressed. Ending patriarchy tomorrow wouldn't change who/what we are - you …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 10:54 AM
–

The ugly reality is that a man without confidence may as well not be a man at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 09:28 AM
–

"why don't fully functioning adult women not see my manipulative and arrogant behaviour for what it is"'
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 06:33 AM
1

That's the legal definition. But even there things are changing: https://bills.parliament.uk/bills/3196/publications Under this men would need to determine consent before starting a conversation with women in public (and by extension bars and other 'public' social spaces). Then there's the personal definition that leads to men being thrown out of bars with a nod to the bouncer, or complaints to HR (1 in 5 women have made them) or a man being ousted from his social circle because so-and-so is unc…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 11:32 PM
3

She can choose to approach too. Not approaching isn't some kind of static norm. You don't initiate because options appear and because rejection is unpleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 10:24 PM
2

It isn't reasonable when 90% of women expect [the right] men to approach them without putting a foot wrong, while reserving the right to label unwanted interest from the wrong men harassment by simple fact of it being unwanted (regardless of whether anything illegal or seriously concerning has occurred). That would be unreasonable, entitled and obnoxious.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 08:57 AM
1

That's more than just any old subjective opinion isn't it. Like what you think of current music scenes, the likelihood of life existing in Mars, or which football team you support. It affects social norms, which affects everyone,
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 08:51 AM
1

Nobody's going to call women losers or creeps for failing to perform femininity correctly or walk that line perfectly. Women aren't active parties. And the social consequences of being labelled a loser or some kind of deviant can be quite serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 08:42 AM
1

Let's flip the 'like attracts like' argument and apply it to women who seem to attract abusive men, fuck boys, etc. Suddenly you're not so keen on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 03:36 AM
3

Experiencing life as a low status/unmasculine straight male probably wouldn't be too different from that of other disadvantaged groups, in certain respects. However, how you would identify where the line between average and weak, based on a which metrics is of course impossible. Job quotas and "dating opportunities" lol no. Plenty of "weak" men study and hold decent jobs. Society can't force anyone to date them. It's also exposing such men to more derision and contempt. We all know how much aver…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 02:10 AM
8

Superficial charisma, assertiveness, maybe looks, a facsimile of masculinity some women are susceptible to. Unfortunately there isn't a huge overlap being attractive and being moral. OP will be accused of Nice Guy sentiments.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 01:39 AM
2

It's a large group approaching a majority. 'Subgroup' doesn't mean anything, you just mean minority. The topic and everything discussed here is about dating and someone claims that men who don't or can't ask women out are neurodivergent.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:09 PM
3

Posted this below. It's not an 'online thing.' Nearly half of young men 18-25 have never asked a woman out in real life, with fear of rejection and fear of social consequences being the most common reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 04:03 PM
2

The denizens of this sub aside, we don't have to do much research to realize how wrong that "average man" statement is. Nearly half of young men 18-25 have never even asked a woman out in real life, with fear of rejection of fear of social consequences being the most common reasons. I guess the autism rate must have suddenly shot up? Or you're just wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 03:59 PM
2

Average visit is 18 mins. 108 million daily users, a large % of those being adult males, with an average visit of almost 20 minutes. "Not even remotely mainstream."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 02:53 PM
3

inactive accounts, women, children, etc 'Monthly users' means visiting at least once a month. 85% of users are over 18 and 60% of those are male. If you interact with dating content that is what you will see and push as being normal. I realize. But comments relating to dating crop up everywhere, including on every non-dating/political page I follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 02:31 PM
2

lmoa... Reddit has 1.2 billion monthly users, and that's ignoring other social media platforms where men's dating issues are common topics. Being 20 years old is irrelevant to the content. You'd rather 'diagnose' men who can't easily fit masculine norms as autistic than have any genuine sympathy is how this reads.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 02:07 PM
6

Going by how ubiquitous these issues are - mainstream men's sub/forums where you'll see the same thing frequently brought up - either 70% of the male population is autistic or your male friends aren't a representative sample (or, more likely, not being honest). You might also want to look up Norah Vincent's experience asking women out as 'Ned.'
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 01:26 PM
-3

Western societies need migrants to fill skill shortages from local men 'dropping out.'
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:32 PM
1

I think it's fine to want the man to be the leader in your relationship It's hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:29 PM
5

Have you asked any men about this? Asking women out is one of the most stressful, terrifying events men go through.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:21 PM
8

You were making the point that men who struggle and seek advice are neurodivergent. I'm responding that these skills aren't easy to learn and don't just come under basic social skills. Evidence being women who approach are often terrible at it, and I highly doubt that's because of autism.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:06 PM
13

Funny. Coming from a member of the group that doesn't need to show interest / initiate for most of their adult lives while relationship opportunities are handed to them on a platter. The women in my age group that have approached me were abrasive, rude, tactless, and/or creepy. Probably because they never had to do it when they were younger. Then bitter and angry af when I wasn't interested. Reading cues, displaying confidence without arrogance, interest without pushiness, 'escalating' without h…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:54 AM
–

Why are these posts continued to be allowed here? With the greatest of respect - get a hobby.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:51 AM
1

Why are these posts continued to be allowed here? With the greatest of respect - get a hobby.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:50 AM
2

Why are these posts continued to be allowed here? Respectfully, get a hobby.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:48 AM
1

Didn't read the article apparently; Although marriage was protective for both men and women from age 65 to 85, the effect was greater for men in absolute values as well as relative percentages Women receive shorter sentences for the same crimes source1 source2 source3 Slightly more work and that equates low stress household tasks to dangerous or hard physical labour in many cases Hasn't applied in the developed world for 40+ years People aren't denying the gap exists, they're denying discriminat…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 08:20 AM
1

The state has the authority to exclusively draft men and take away their rights if they resist. Men's rights are therefore contingent on the possibility of being forced into the field of war. Women's aren't. The closest equivalent would be compelling women to take factory labour jobs, but even in WW2 this wasn't mandatory.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 07:50 AM
1

Honest question: are you attracted to your husband? It sounds like you aren't in the least bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 07:30 AM
–

Red Pill concept. Man ups attractiveness then behaves in a way that suggest he has other options. The fear of losing a man is supposedly meant to increase women's attraction towards him.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:11 AM
–

Even if it works, it doesn't really; It's simulating a betrayal of trust so you can end up in a relationship with no trust. How long can you maintain that front anyway? This is the person you're presumably trying to spend your life with. If you need to employ 'dread' to maintain their interest then that relationship has zero value.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 04:41 AM
1

He doesn't really give a shit about birth rates... Horse has already bolted. There's no way to entice people in the west into having more kids with tax breaks etc. because society no longer holds raising a family as a primary value. People want to enjoy their lives and not be weighed down by having to support 3+ kids. Yes, it's unaffordable for most, but making it affordable wouldn't change anything now. So we rely on importing people from conservative cultures to compensate for declining birth …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 02:54 AM
–

If by consequences you mean comments, harassment, leering, etc. then no, they shouldn't. But plenty of people go beyond that and get upset about other people's private thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 03:45 PM
1

Her face isn't the issue. Her giant ass is. Only fat fetishizing guys dig that. It looks out of proportion and suggests health issues. I don't know any man who likes that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:07 PM
1

Men and women volunteer at roughly the same rate. Try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:48 AM
1

Or use common sense to filter for behaviour and values that align to their long term goal. This is not hard to grasp. pretend to not want to have sex Then you take your chances for short term gratification in that case. Sex is not a need. Unattractive men have this truth shouted at them all the time. You're not owed a world where everybody is honest and you get what you want in a short time frame.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:07 AM
7

If you say that having easy access to a roster of women makes men not want to commit A % of men with options will play the field because they can, not all men with those kinds of options. And obviously this is not the behaviour of average men, whether or not they would/wouldn't. When OP says "most men aren't wiling to commit" she means only those top tier men, because anybody beneath them doesn't count. It downplays the role women have here. I mean what kind of naive person has sex early on in p…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 09:41 AM
1

Yes women naturally carry more fat than men (while still looking normal or slim just by being physically smaller and where it accumulates) but that doesn't explain why men would be okay with 40% + body fat women - and the blunt answer here is that men are just more horny and desperate. 25 percent body are still considered attractive. A man at 25% body fat will have 'padding' around his face and neck that will make him significantly less attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:21 AM
1

It gets complicated because of the difference in desire. Women would be attracted to fewer men all else being equivalent (similar facial structure, similar physical health). Now add obesity in the mix. Overweight people don't necessarily want to date one another but being overweight incurs less of a penalty in women's dating lives. So what you might mean by '7 or 8' is in reality just an in shape woman who would resemble average women 50 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 03:46 AM
4

More examples of the superior gender's classy behaviour. https://youtu.be/2mmIEZKWi3A?si=U53h7Aesl_2MNIvy https://youtu.be/nwilqASK5c0?si=YjLf9aClyfpRSYFr
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 12:16 AM
5

Laughing while exchanging glances like that is clearly mocking someone. How many more of these shall I post? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uf5f622wHY Could be here all day.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:52 PM
5

They were laughing at him not with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:32 PM
7

She’s an American woman. ...And? Those aren't curves, that's obesity, and no most men don't like that and it being unfortunately common doesn't change it. Pretty women who can't/won't take care of themselves don't deserve a 6 foot man who does, I would have thought that was obvious. At least she was polite. And let's ignore the other video of women being outright contemptuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:30 PM
11

Or maybe you want nice personalities, intelligence and empathy while displaying none of those qualities. Anyone can cherry pick videos. Overweight, 4'11, but thinks a polite, well-dressed. in shape average height 5'9 man is too short for her. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/6I7Fc7Rdukw Or the women 3-4 from left outright laughing in this poor guy's face. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/KfuNP7js5K4 Literally dozens of these videos.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:17 PM
16

Being mediocre and wanting someone mediocre isn't being picky. Mediocre women don't "deserve" a 6 figure earning professional any more than schlubby men deserve an Instagram model.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:29 PM
0

Lol...peak reddit sort of post. Only the most braindead red pill man would take that option. Whatwants to spend their lives with a woman who hates them?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:23 PM
6

As a side-observation, female tourists, or women on work visas coming from mainland Europe are noticeably friendly. That might be selection bias going on with tourists being more outgoing in general but it's very noticeable compared to local women. Like night and day difference. I see them at hobby meetups. They start conversations and talk to you like you're human, and not just in a 'I need information or connections' sort of way. However that's nowhere near as obvious with tourists from the US…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:25 PM
6

There's also a self-selection bias going on here where men who aggressively pursue this are much more likely to appear on women's radars, and so the impression is based largely off them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:25 AM
2

Then they're either a bit dim or trying to get brownie points. If it's the choice between another man or even a group of men, and an aggressive 300 kilo territorial Grizzly, I'm choosing other men every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 11:47 AM
1

Of course, nobody is owed a partner (much less a Government-issued slave). But if you think that a fulfilling personal life isn't an incentive for self-improvement and hard work then you aren't connected to reality. If a large enough % of young men get it in heads early on that they won't ever be able to date/marry/have a family, that will affect general motivation levels in a big chunk of the population, and there will be economic consequences. Almost nobody just wants to self-actualize in thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 08:32 AM
2

Most of the women who claimed they would pick the bear would in reality either be paired up or be willing to 'take the risk' with the right man. The majority of violence is coming from their intimate partners not strangers. We are more likely to be beat up and killed by another man than you are to be SA'd by a rando on a hiking trail. Plenty of us have also been attacked in public before. Yet we don't walk around in a stasis-inducing fear of this. That's where the cynicism comes from. It just se…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 07:32 AM
10

That's the perspective of someone with a full inbox. We understand it's uncomfortable when socially clueless men make it far too obvious when you're just there to relax, but the idea that men can do what you can - broaden their networks in a way that leads to opportunities over the long term isn't realistic for them. It's a damned if you do/don't situation for a lot of guys. If they're too intentional they're being creepy or desperate. If they aren't intentional, they're cowards and losers with …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:55 AM
1

I mean this might be a controversial statement, but the idea of going to “hobby groups” to find people seems to me the kind of thing losers with no friends do, or who are desperate as fuck Yea that's a brutal and maybe unfair assessment, but unfortunately there is that perception. So someone OP's age is fighting against the stigma of trying to meet women that way, along with the low success rate of just not encountering many women in those spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:22 AM
1

....What women? OP already made it clear how there very low numbers of single young women at these events. They don't want to be hit on by creepy dudes who come on too quickly, and fair enough, but the effect is that there's now far fewer opportunities for non-creepy dudes to meet and gradually get to know women over time like this. The is the older and out-of-touch, perspective, basically. The opportunities aren't fewer than ever, and the workplace is an HR #metoo minefield.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:53 AM
9

And what if the great majority of people he meets in hobby groups are other guys who might be in similar circumstances to him? (Who might also have few platonic female friends.) It will help broaden his social network without necessarily helping him meet potential dates. OP was spot on about younger women avoiding these spaces, and the men who frequently go to meetups might not have the social connections you're assuming here. Making genuine new friends in your mid 20s onward is a difficult proc…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:41 AM
1

You've been given mixed messages all through your formative years. That's why dating offline must seem like such a minefield now. Don't bother women....ever.... But do initiate, do be assertive, do conform to the male gender role of initiator (because you're a loser if you don't/can't) Which requires mind-reading mutual/reciprocated interest perfectly, or else it's harassment. Consent is required just to talk to a woman, however briefly Asking friends out makes you're an entitled Nice Guy who on…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:32 AM
8

Would you want women to be with men who decided to "aim low?" How much lower anyway. Morbidly obese? Drug addict? Homeless?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:23 PM
–

Women have options to filter. Filtering isn't always pleasant, in fact it can life threatening, but at the end of the process there's at least a reasonable likelihood of a genuine long term relationship. No such light at the end of the tunnel for many men, just more loneliness. Women confide in and find connection with one another. Men bully and humiliate one another. And the further down the totem pole a man is the worse that is. Women's struggles are a societal problem; men's are the result of…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:13 AM
2

Unless the majority of women prioritize that. Then the only choice is conform or remain single forever. It's like telling a morbidly obese person to "just find someone who appreciates you for you" when we all know that drastically cuts down their options to the point where they have no desirable options.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 02:57 AM
1

Children aren't allowed to leave the state of childhood until they're no longer children. Women (at least in the developed world) can ditch femininity whenever they please. Everything you said about femininity being strictly mandated in fact applies to masculinity, which is ruthlessly policed by other men, and straight women in the dating market
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 06:21 PM
1

childhood, like femininity, is a role you can't opt into, only out of. Clearly women who cherry-pick the parts of femininity that suit them almost as casually as a change of outfit didn't get that memo.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 05:13 PM
1

Lol. Showing interest doesn't require 'putting out' or being overt. Men want women to reject them for some time and have sex later. No that's your fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 08:08 AM
1

This is women speaking for men while filtering for traits they desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 08:02 AM
1

As an argument this borders on disturbing. You're basically arguing abuse is necessary to produce resilient, secure adults. It often produces the exact opposite: Emotionally fragile individuals who experience high cortisol 'fight or flight' responses to everyday setbacks (never mind serious stress).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:08 PM
-2

I consider your post ridiculous. But it's also funny how they weaponize their supposed sexual appeal like that at every opportunity while assigning men's value to whether they can get laid or not, as if everything's about sex and who is/isn't attractive to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:56 AM
1

In most cases it wouldn't really be forgiveness, it would be out of desperation and fear of being alone, It isn't worthy of respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:06 PM
12

They'll always be a minimum base level of male virgins who are too shy/traumatized to date. Now add, mixed messages "don't bother women" vs " stop being a coward, get out there and talk to women loser!" Less/no pressure for women to settle any more. Suppressed wages and higher cost of living. Declining range of socially acceptable real life situations. Flatlining testosterone levels. Extended adolescence. Gaming/porn/distractions/etc. It's a range of reasons from biological to societal.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:07 AM
3

She's deceiving him while relegating him to a loveless/dead bedroom relationship when he could in theory find someone else. Unless both parties are clear on the arrangement beforehand, that counts as wronging somebody.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:49 AM
3

Men have to initiate, display confidence, read cues, be charismatic/funny, develop a well-attuned social awareness, take the lead in the interaction while taking rejection on the chin. Shy women generally get away with being social wallflowers. For a lack of confidence to affect their dating life it has to be extreme to the point where they withdraw entirely (never leave the house or never socialize in mixed company). Yes, there are women like this, but it's rare. Not really comparable.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:55 AM
4

Feedback is for when there's a way forward or out of a situation. There's nothing to be learned from someone having a target drawn upon them, where they are simply 'the loser' , or the universally agreed upon punching bag to all and sundry in a situation for 6-8 hours a day. You're equating bullying to teenage growing pains or harmless joshing and I suspect you wouldn't be if the topic were bullying aimed at girls instead of boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 02:12 PM
1

I’d argue job interviews are harder as well because they don’t come as frequently I mean, you get to practice in front of others. You could probably pay someone. These days, probably an AI. Where I think you’re overlooking reality is the asymmetry in incentives.... Expectations, and yes of course I'm aware of the gender script. But when more is expected then there's more potential for something to go badly awry.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:28 PM
1

Second, women struggling doesn’t contradict my point... They aren't struggling to the same degree with this because they aren't judged by the same criteria. Men typically aren't put off by social avoidance the way women are. You know this... I bombed a job interview The fact is you get to practice at something like a job interview in a way that's impossible (or pushes across boundaries) if you were to try to 'practice' with the opposite sex. And the obesity analogy wasn’t about genetics literall…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:47 PM
10

The necessity of relying on men, not the desire to be provided for. It's that necessity that would have allowed avoidant 'nice enough is good enough' types of men to get married and have families up until the mid-late twentieth century. But it's also probably the case that men who are ruthlessly targeted by other men are more likely to be underachievers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:31 PM
1

To be clear I didn't say anything about shy avoidant men being "good" i.e. deserving - but if you're going to make value judgements based on this then the majority of women would likely fail at being "good" here. they’re probably going to struggle in dating. But they’re also going to struggle in friendships, networking, interviews, leadership, confidence, career growth, conflict resolution, and a lot of other areas of life too. Not necessarily. Dating is a very particular kind of social interact…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:21 PM
17

Lol...We've known that for decades. The problem is also the many women who endorse the worst types of behavior with their affections. No violent bully I've crossed paths with has had trouble dating. Most of them are married with kids now.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:49 AM
2

The one aspect that ties men who succeed with women together is masculinity i.e. protector/provider traits, and none of this is messy when you understand that. This is how abusers find partners (overconfident, overbearing and sometimes superficial charismatic), This is how conventionally unattractive men can still find partners (they compensate hard with assertiveness). Even deadbeats with nothing else going for them will be found attractive by some women if they're confident enough. This is als…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:20 AM
4

Most cases involve knowingly and willfully ignoring easily readable cues in the other person, because it feels good to get that kind of attention in the short term. Nobody put a gun to women's heads and made them fall for "love bombing" or sleazy surface level charisma, and nobody forces men to fall for hot instagram model appearances. We're responsible for who we invest our time in and infantilizing other adults does nothing but remove accountability for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:43 AM
0

Then, clearly, there is no need for prenups or paternity tests Agreed. The majority of abusers/users are terrible at hiding it. For the poor saps who don't, they should be held accountable and simply choose better. Correct. So we're in agreement then OP: people are accountable for who they pair up with.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:25 AM
27

A tenet of TRP is that a "deep connection" depends on the man maintaining his dominant/masculine status in the relationship. Hence red pillers here would argue the long term viability of a relationship depends on something close to the opposite of what you describe - not teamwork but the man leading in a trad sense. (Not agreeing with it, just re-stating.)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:29 AM
11

Yea that's not the point. These men aren't approaching because they're afraid of the social consequences, due in large part to online rhetoric they've had shouted at them through their formative years.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 11:08 AM
1

She might just genuinely like him and be willing to take tge chance that the difference in cultural attitudes and expectations will work themselves out (however naive that may be). As opposed to deliberately seeking a submissive position or rejecting western feminism, or whatever else you might want to read into it. Sometimes that happens...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 09:23 AM
17

Almost half of Gen Z men have never approached/asked out a woman irl. How are they being creepy? Try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 08:44 AM
21

Men have been told not to "bother" women. That's it. As a RP woman your opinions differ drastically to the messages men have been receiving (and internalizing) for decades now.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:57 PM
0

It only applies to the popular, attractive 'eligible' bachelor with a large social network to vouch for him. Try fitting in with an established friend group of couples as an average or below single male. Older, unattractive, never-married men get typecast as perverts or predators. Think Joker.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 10:59 AM
–

Funny because the above commenter and many more here would jump to immediately labeling a man a creep if he got it wrong and showed unwanted interest in those situations. ("You crossed a boundary! Learn to read to read signals better, loser. Women can't exist anywhere!") OLD sucks but at least nobody can have you dumped from a social circle/group for liking their profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:56 AM
0

It hasn't been hard for women to get an education for generations, and being able to live independently doesn't require equal representation across every part of the economy. 40-50 years ago isn't recent, that's 2-3 generations. The idea that men are still socialized to expect a wife is silly. You could have argued that in 1976, not 2026. That idea that women even up until the 2000s were settling for men they didn't like at all because of social pressure to get married is even more absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 11:59 AM
0

It wouldn't have been much more difficult than an average semi-skilled working class male supporting himself. And are you seriously arguing this was the case in the 80s and 90s? Women in my generation were not raised to believe they had to be married by 21 or that their value depended on being chosen by a man. Outside of religious communities. that kind of pressure hasn't been mainstream in a long time. This is deflection from the actual reasons for the so-called dating drought and marriage/birt…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 12:01 PM
6

Free enough to support themselves without being involved with a man. This is the pertinent point. Women have been free enough for at least 3 generations. Young men would have gotten the idea they needed to do more than just exist with a job for a similar timespan. As an adolescent in the 90s and a young adult in the 2000s I never once got the impression I was going to be getting a wife issued to me at some point. It was always about being attractive and having decent social skills. Exceptions fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 11:18 AM
1

Free enough to support themselves without being involved with a man is good enough to make the point here. Women have been free enough for at least 3 generations. Young men would have gotten the picture that they need to do more than just exist with a job for a similar timespan. Some exceptions for hyper religious communities might exist, but generally speaking hetero relationships haven't been mandatory for decades.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 11:13 AM
1

This. Women have been free to work and support themselves for 60 + years. 50 years if counting ability to get a mortgage.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 11:02 AM
1

Aging is quite literally cell damage/deleterious genetic mutations and a drop in fertility. There's no reason to 'adjust' beyond a certain point unless you're aging with someone in a bonded relationship. It is just a drop in attractiveness otherwise. The milf porn thing usually involves older women who are conventionally attractive by every other metric (thin and feminine) so that doesn't really track with broadening preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:51 PM
5

You're implying this behavior is entirely faulty logic/attitude, as if men competing to be 'chosen' weren't the default biological state of things. A disparity of desire exists for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:16 PM
2

Incredible. 30+ man saying this would be labelled a predator, even a pedophile.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:00 AM
1

The closest scenario would be discussion around preferences prior to sex, with a woman saying something along lines "tried it before; didn't like it." Hardly anyone would go into unprompted detail about what they enthusiastically got up to with someone else. What is wrong with 'vanilla' sexy times anyway? Seems like it's related porn addiction
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:31 PM
42

Perhaps.... But the 'tried it once and didn't like it' explanation seems most likely. Not that there needs to be an explanation because frankly nobody is obligated to discuss this with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:19 PM
1

If 41% of men were homeless drug addicts who hadn't washed in weeks, would you say you were being picky not wanting to date them? Some things are just inherently unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 11:13 AM
–

More than half of women in the US are overweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 11:10 AM
–

Dysgenic in modern society not the environments in which we evolved.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:59 AM
–

Cosplay as a man Lilith, then politely state those or any other reasonable preference on dating themed subreddits, see the kinds of reactions you get. There is no nice-enough way for us to say it. The men who do, tend not to care about how they're perceived or hurting anyone's feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:17 AM
1

OP means in the context of the early dating/showing interest stage,
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 11:37 AM
1

And there'd probably be a similar percentage who think a man isn't interested enough unless he's practically hounding them and would rather things end than initiate a message once-in-a-while.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 11:26 AM
–

"men I'm not attracted to are also the worst kinds of people" post #543678 from women here. I would not call them underdogs either, but dominating, to other men as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 01:48 AM
5

This is ignores how large numbers of women still hold on to an expectation of being appriached and pursued. Yes, sometimes even aggressively. And most young men are too stupid to read subtle signals. It siunds good idea in theory that would just lead to mass singleness in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 09:18 AM
3

Having been in the vicinity of men who were abusive towards their partners, 'superficial charm' isn't the first term that springs to mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 05:38 AM
1

Did you seriously jump to accusing OP of being a rapist because his experience doesn't re-enforce your divorced from reality ideals around how people should communicate? The percentage of women who expect men to 'just know' and get turned off by verbalizing or consider being asked unmanly/lame would be significant enough. In any case, it would be a minority who discuss things in that kind of detail with someone they don't know well. I've never heard of it. Consent usually gets implied through bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 03:44 PM
5

Reverse the sexes and every woman here would be 100% supporting this without any qualifiers. Nexting bad-in-bed "trash" men is celebrated.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:06 AM
–

It's kinda easy to say this when you already have a full inbox, a plethora of dating options literally at your fingertips. Remaining single hits differently for someone who has no perceivable options and no choice in the matter. But yea, a social circle is a gateway to relationships for most people and necessary for mental well being.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 12:06 AM
–

JFC give the hyperbole a rest. For eugenics to be a thing, people have to be reproducing. Your so-called "feminst fascistas" are choosing not to have kids rather than pair up with men below their standards. Meaning overall lower birthrate. But there's nothing authoritarian about it. They aren't preventing you from having kids with (other) women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:56 PM
5

Preferences aren't the same as acting on urges.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:13 AM
3

Except women still desire many of the traits associated with needing protection and provision, and admit it over and over again.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:12 AM
6

That biologically and socially we are different. So your biology means you can't be expected to deal with the anxiety of approaching and shame of rejection. But if we talked about our "biological norm" to find slim conventionally attractive women in their 20s most attractive, or find women who are stereotypically feminine in behaviour more appealing, surprise, there's an issue with that. That just seeing an attractive guy doesn’t mean that we are attracted to them. Having seen women frequently s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 10:17 AM
6

Hoeflation is crude and childish, but prey tell what's the polite term for mediocre women's entitlement to top tier men? (Women who BTW pass on their genes just as much as their male counterparts as you kinda acknowledge there, condemning their sons in particular to lives of romantic struggles or increasingly total exclusion.) And maybe you don't get to take moral high ground offence over that while referring to the opposite sex's "shit genetics".... Women in the developed world haven't been coe…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:27 PM
1

And those men are judged accordingly? We don't have patriarchy theory to hide behind or 'low self-esteem' to exonerate us. Women here on the other hand never seem to own their own choices. There could be enough red flags for a Chinese military parade and they'll still find reasons to avoid accountability for their choice in partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 09:12 PM
1

Older men with $ seek out women they're most attracted to physically, who are typically younger and out of their league.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 08:30 PM
–

Yup
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 12:16 PM
–

Lol are you seriously comparing a strip joint to dating/relationships? Weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 06:36 AM
–

Most would be easy enough to spot, Any man who wants to get physical early on. Turns on the charm. Says what you want to hear. Won't discuss his past. Not having sexy time within the first few months would filter out 90% of those, but then that would require self-control.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:35 AM
–

And men are responsible for choosing the women they choose... Yes they are. 100% their problem. Nobody is trying remove agency from men who choose poorly though. I don't get this relentless need to infantilize other women. It should be easy enough to spot a player. Any man who wants sex early on should be an automatic red flag to anyone capable of basic common sense. Doesn't matter is he's charming, oh-so convincing and "nice" about it: If you're being "seduced" by such men then you take your ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 12:15 AM
–

Of course men don't know that and no-one would reasonably assume it unless it were blatantly obvious (a 25 yo Instagram model dating a schlubby 50 year old man with $ for example). You're comparing this to women who would know or strongly suspect they're being lied to. It isn't hard to filter out players. Majority of men who try to get sex early on aren't interested in long term. This is a common sense observation . Take responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:13 PM
–

No not responsible for male behavior. Responsible for choosing those men. Reponsible for overlooking the obvious or being attracted to it. What about this is hard to understand?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:04 PM
–

Or you're removing moral agency around something that is unflattering. 'Low self-esteem/patriarchy brainwashed me into it' is pretty lame when you consider how relationships are in no way mandatory and feminism is the dominant narrative.Women aren't forced to pair with men, so why would they willing to tolerate this if they weren't either happy enough to overlook it, or on some level found it appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 08:37 PM
–

"Karen" originally meant an older, racist white woman with white privilege who might 'call the cops' on racial minorities over some minor annoyance. Debasing the term by using it to mean any vaguely attractive women reaching 40 is a bit pathetic tbh. I don't think the behaviour described is anywhere near as common as made out (just as violent men are still the smallish minority). Men are not prepared for aging any more than women. There is no preparing for it. It's just as depressing, as brutal,…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 10:44 AM
1

Let's play Occum's razor - do you think all women in the age range of 25-35 are incapable of love? No I wasn't agreeing the with the OP. Assuming he's half as successful with women as he's claiming, he has probably done what he accuses younger women of doing, and that's why he's alone. Either that or he has some major personality issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 07:39 AM
10

Any man who is good looking, successful with women, and also financially successful but can't find a woman who loves him? Looks and financial success are desirable traits. That's what attracts most women, okay fine, but it isn't love any more than wanting a "hot young thing" to have kids with.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 12:53 PM
–

Where's the debate and what the hell is a sigma man supposed to be anyway?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 11:46 AM
1

I look for men who are not stingy with their money, who will not be an embarrassment if we, as a couple, decide to host dinners or get togethers or invite our families out. The above scenario nothing to do with dating (presumably you would both pay for that?) You are sidestepping the obvious here i.e. you expect men to invest more for your company than you theirs. Men who don't want to pay for expensive dinner dates with strange women generally aren't doing it because they're stingy: They don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:27 AM
1

Neither of these situations have anything to do with the early stages of dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:22 AM
2

Women in the developed world have children because they want to, not as a favour to men. Yes, if you don't find someone until your 30s you'll quite likely go on many dates with many different people before that happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 01:28 PM
–

Yea you double down on the same inane point without bothering to comprehend any other apparently. Men in the dating arena aren't paying for one woman - and btw if you want to use that as evidence for future support then it'll need to a lot more than $20 - they're paying for potentially dozens of women over possibly hundreds of dates. Young men who are struggling to make rent like a lot of young people. In that context it isn't reasonable at all. FFS People don't get married at 21 anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 12:15 PM
–

He isn't dating the mother of his children, he's dating a new acquaintance who may not even have any intent to settle down in the near future. The major earning disparity is in the older age groups. Young women are out-earning men across many major cities, The average 20-29 yo man is only making around 30k (let;s make it 40k factoring out college students). Our grandfathers in many cases would have married their high school sweethearts with a very limited courtship window. Now men are expected t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 11:38 AM
–

So by that standard women who earn more than their dates should pay their for dates, and women who don't want children should be fine with going dutch since we're all employed adults here. Supporting children is very different from paying for dates with strangers
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 10:54 AM
–

If you make a point of offering to pay for yourself while holding a different ideal and expecting he should override you if he wants to see you again, then that reads like a test, doesn't it? Plenty of men who might have paid would simply take you at your word, assuming you genuinely preferred it that way. particularly since women online frequently say they pay to avoid men who feel entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 10:52 AM
1

"Makes a fuss" = accepts the woman's offer to go dutch. Alrighty then...why not just come out and say you expect the man to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 10:45 AM
–

So it's a warped kind of test in other words.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 04:59 AM
0

The reason men don't like the extreme "pick me" self-debasing types is that, along with it being unsettling, such a person isn't someone you can form a real bond with. They don't like you as an individual, they're just looking to fill a void in themselves, and that's someone you can't trust. That said, it's funny how so many women think men place high value on a "challenge" as if interactions are only enjoyable when there's conflict, something to prove or some mystery to decode (about them of co…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 05:24 AM
2

A large black or grizzly bear in the wild is much more likely to attack you than a strange man you're alone with. Surely you realize that statistically means per encounter? In which case it's not even close. you seem to be of the belief that people somehow get facts about the person their potentially dating before they pick them. AKA getting to know someone during dating. Asking normal questions. Judging their responses, including any evasiveness. Getting an idea of their values. Normal vetting …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 02:06 AM
26

Or you could just admit that you want an attractive man and stop rationalizing it as "men I don't want are just as bad/entitled" or whatnot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 01:16 AM
7

You either don't understand what coercion is or are using the word for impact's sake. It's generally understood to involve persistent badgering, wearing down, and/or the use of emotional or material leverage to manipulate someone. Asking once and the other person half-heartedly agreeing doesn't count (whatever else that might be).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 11:04 PM
1

Do you check to see if they're enthusiastic or just assume it? (Because 'men are up for anything.')
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 10:28 PM
1

Blue pill typically downplays how men and women relate as men and women not just as beings who happen to be male/female. The importance of looks/physical attraction is usually downplayed too if not outright denied. Being a 'good partner' is framed as being attentive and emotionally available at all times, ignoring the fact that this can destroy attraction. Much of mainstream advice is terrible advice for young men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 11:01 AM
23

JFC the selective puritanism from women on this sub. A young man slept around. Oh, the horror. Women frequently ask men to perform oral sex on them. That's seen as almost necessary now for men to be good partners (no-one bothers to ask if men enjoy it).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 09:10 AM
1

I didn't say you bullied me, scholar, but that that's your motive for being here.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:02 PM
1

Lol as if women don't want relationships, or are neutral about it but capable of being convinced by the right approach. How utterly moronic. They don't because they don't need to, correct, but that's because there's a social norm in place plus a biological imperative to select for assertiveness. And guys like you are a dime-a-dozen: ex schoolyard bully who thinks he can raise his status and ego by dumping on other men while referring to women as if they were demigods.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 10:28 PM
3

Have the women you're denying have agency asked anyone out in their entire lives?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:56 AM
4

They don't have to pick anyone. Yes I blame them for poor choices because people are responsible for their choices. It's only a problem if you think women are default entitled to decent options, including women who are losers by the same standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:08 AM
–

And that women should take their time, months even, before having sex with a man. That's what anyone looking for a long term relationship should do. Thank you for confirming that a subsection of women can't use common sense and won't take responsibility for their choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 02:13 AM
–

...you chose to believe them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 01:19 AM
–

You're responsible for believing them or not, just like men are responsible for not being strung along and used financially. If someone wants sex early on, chances are they aren't interested in anything long term. This is basically common sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 01:17 AM
3

It is absolutely a case of tough shit/deal with it when they choose to date losers, or men out of their league who won't commit. Or does agency somehow not apply then?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 10:31 PM
1

Cold approaching somewhat grows due to declining third spaces as the large minority who do still try and date become more desperate for whatever methods they can. And unfortunately it'll mostly be the clueless, boorish sort of guys who don't care about boundaries 'representing' men here, whereas the self-aware will hang back. That'll just worsen gender relations.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:06 AM
9

While simultaneously framing men’s standards as lenient and “just biology” (even when making such claims as “women expire by 25” and calling the average woman in the US a “landwhale”). Maybe the red pill says this, but red pill is still fringe and well outside the Overton window. In mainstream discourse men's preferences are always framed as a problem of misogyny. There is quite literally no preference that we could express, in the mildest of terms, while being backed into a corner, without accu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 05:36 AM
1

This isn't some moral pearl clutching moment. If we are going to enter a sexual relationship there should be sexual desire (what you find sexually desirable will vary) . That's all fine and well but what happens when men express their preferences? They're shamed, accused of objectifying women or re-enforcing cruel and unrealistic beauty standards, and let's not get started on older guys admitting to still finding twenty somethings attractive. Even though women are more selective, their preferenc…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 05:23 AM
1

Admitting women are impressed by that in other words.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:41 PM
3

No it's not a meritocracy, and women should not be forced to date/marry "good" men. but what happens when a growing % of men are cut out of dating completely? Are those men just going to be good sterile worker drones, working away in the background, creating a safe and functional society for everyone else, while women cycle through the men they find most exciting/attractive, and on top of everything else those invisible men have to subsidize the social fallout of that? Or are they going to give …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:00 PM
1

The 'you' here is obviously not meant to be 'you' specifically and nobody was being called a slut.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 02:47 PM
2

Fuck it in your case means staying single, whining on forums about low value men or the losers you wasted your youth on while still having access to casual hookups or fwb if you wanted. Fuck it in men's case means we no longer have running water, power and broadband in our homes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 11:55 AM
1

LMAO at the 'intellectual level' comments. I seriously doubt you know anything about the kind of training or requirements and are simply talking off the cuff there. I have a degree in biological sciences with chemistry. In reality, all that involved was a great deal of rote learning. University entrance is nothing to write home about. That's not a high bar. The majority of women graduate with arts or business degrees where the material isn't demanding and everything is basically spoon-fed to the…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 03:44 AM
-5

To be fair, it's part of the gym, not the entire gym. A designated women's area has been a part of my university gym for years, and some commercial chains have them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/04/26 05:15 AM
1

You realize they still have to gain industry qualifications in most cases? Usually while working full time. As someone who has a degree and works a mid-level office role, I can assure you anyone within one standard deviation below average intelligence could function in this kind of role. I've worked with people who lacked basic computer literacy and couldn't write a coherent email to save their lives. The idea someone this mediocre is somehow more 'viable' than a building site agent who learnt o…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 06:10 AM
1

Working class men, obviously. They're the reason you have running water, electricity and broadband available in your apartment, yet you think a undergrad in psychology and a mid-tier office role places women in a higher category. The class snobbery of mediocre women doing equally mundane tasks is a big part of the 'dating drought.'
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:11 AM
1

Lol... that's really panning out isn't it. Gen Z earn less in real terms than people in the 70s. We need immigrants, but immigrants come from cultures with higher birth rates.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 10:44 PM
1

We need replacement. ...Who's going to subsidize your retirement?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 10:20 PM
3

Women don't approach because they know or expect that there's a social norm in place for men to do it, not because they don't want relationships. Strange men approaching them aren't going to make them want something they already don't want or feel indifferent towards. What kind of absurd logic is that? And considering the risk to personal safety dating involves for women, if they were really happy alone most of them wouldn't be open to dating at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 09:12 AM
4

"Man up, stop being a pussy, blah blah"
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 08:59 AM
2

. I also don't see how that's really the case when there is plenty of women that enjoy circumcised penises? And some even PREFER them? This is a really bad argument for why something is 'not as bad.'
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 01:13 AM
11

It isn't really a "kernel" so much as a blatantly obvious truth no-one else is prepared to say. Feminism - in as far as what it says about what women want in a partner, is phony propaganda. The majority of women desire the same masculine archetype including some of the so-called toxic elements. Stoicism. Assertiveness. A certain degree of arrogance and overconfidence. Standard protection and provision traits. Telling men anything else is setting them up for failure and frustration. Pointing this…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:38 PM
7

*participation trophy
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:06 PM
21

Until the point of demographic collapse is reached requiring immigrants from socially conservative cultures to keep western nations afloat (both in terms of birthrate and work ethic). Things were “going along well for men,” but they weren’t for women Both men and women had their respective roles forced on them. But then rates of depression and suicide were also much lower. And plenty of childless women will be waking up at 35 now only to realize that corporate job wasn't as fulfilling as they th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:03 PM
24

Both are wrong but female circumcision is clearly much worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 09:34 AM
2

A lot of people who want trad arrangements aren't trad. It's either red pillers who don't earn enough or would run screaming from the responsibilities of their grandfathers, or it's female dating strategy sociopath women who expect men to fund their lifestyles but have no interest in motherhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:48 AM
1

Yea I'd take that bet. Men are discounted on a wider range of factors than looks, such as introversion, awkwardness or perceived underachievement, so it's entirely plausible many slim/fit men can't date their slim/fit match.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 09:24 AM
2

Does anyone happily date below their attraction ideal? You can go outside and see it. And as for the relative pickiness of men's vs women's preferences. The often cited OKCupid study springs to mind. As the does older adult virginity rate (2-3 times as many male virgins). Clearly more men are considered gross and undateable/unfuckable than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 09:04 AM
2

Nobody's shaming younger slim women over not wanting to date balding beer bellied 30 something dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 08:34 AM
9

The way the dating market is, fit men who are average in other areas are considered picky if they want fit women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 07:05 AM
1

Trump and adjacent right wing governments have had something to do with recent decline, but the overall pattern in the last 50 years is still there.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:08 AM
14

As someone else said, being in shape and wanting someone a similar age who also isn't obese isn't a high standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:16 AM
16

Taking the bait.... Preferring someone you can feel some physical attraction to? Oh no. The horror. Someone inform The Church Elders. Everyone wants attractive partners. It doesn't need stating because it's obvious. Most obese single mothers wouldn't want short, shy, balding men either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 03:24 AM
15

Absurd statement that also nullifies your argument. Marriage isn't getting better - it's getting rarer and impractical.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 01:06 AM
0

Sure. https://www.migrationpolicy.org/programs/data-hub/charts/immigrant-population-over-time Immigrants as a % of the US population is at about the same level as it was in the mid-late 19th/early 20th century when migrants from Ireland and mainland Europe flooded into North America. Including first generation children born to immigrants would make the figure even higher. Progressivism is unsustainable, so it requires supplementing from an external source.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:55 PM
1

I'm not "upset" about anything, and most of those man marry within their own cultures anyway.... which was kind of my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:04 PM
1

https://www.migrationpolicy.org/programs/data-hub/charts/immigrant-population-over-time
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:02 PM
-3

Most western nations are having to rely on migrants from socially conservative cultures to 'prop up the system', both in terms of birthrates and filling skills shortages that could have been filled by young people (*ahem young men...) Which points to an uncomfortable truth that dating purely for personal happiness isn't all that great from a wider societal perspective. Also ignores all the miserable singles aging alone on antidepressants, who might still have been better off married.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:14 PM
14

It makes sense that straight womens' desires would be patterned around men being the active party leading the interaction, given historical gender/sex roles. Just about any form of romance narrative aimed at a female audience has male = active as the basis for the interaction. Extreme examples such as Fifty Shades of Grey etc. The only medium where women/girls like shy, socially avoidant dorks is anime, and the kind of anime that clearly isn't intended for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:04 PM
0

It's the appeal of masculinity however you want to define it. Whether it's obnoxious, overbearing, aggressive, or just assertive - those kind of men make better protectors/providers than shy, self-effacing men who don't push their personal interests out into the world. So go ahead and claim you're looking for a cuddly feminist-approved version of a dominant manly man. You kind of have to say that anyway. But maybe use another adjective because "dominant" clearly means something else to most peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:42 AM
3

Being surrounded by your peer group in college or in fun 20 something social circles vs being isolated, with limited time and overwhelmed by work in your 30s Having energy/hormones/youth on your side vs people letting themselves go and generally being less attractive (this goes for both sexes) Plenty of options vs vastly fewer options, with many of those being mentally unwell, obnoxious and single for good reason 'leftovers' Carefree stage of life with plenty of spare time vs older adult respons…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:50 AM
1

There's no such thing as "regular masculinity." Masculinity was always built around protection and provision. The suppression of vulnerability is required to perform those roles. Remove that and all that's left are generic positive traits that have no particular gender aspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:27 AM
2

It's not just teens/early twenties. A 40 yo man dating a 30 yo woman gets flak for it from 40 yo women. Women who can't stand the drop in power/dating privileges make an issue out of any older male age gap relationship, and the butthurt rage at having to experience life as huge numbers of men have always experienced it is incredibly obvious, and also kind of funny tbh...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:39 AM
1

It doesn't matter how you think the world and gender dynamics should operate. We want what we want. and a good deal of that is innate. Question: what do you think would be left if the so-called toxic aspects of masculinity were to dissappear overnight? How would masculinity be distinct from femininity in that case?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:20 AM
3

I can't help wondering how this would play out for very romantically inexperienced people, who would be drastically shrinking their dating pool by outing themselves like this. What about childhood trauma? Messed up 'attachment style'? History of depression or other mental illness? There's no end to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 02:09 PM
3

Women dump their emotions on others. It's just framed differently. A sexual preference for conventional 'stoic' masculinity is what is driving this contempt or discomfort.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 12:18 AM
5

It's a "basic social skill" because it's not required of her...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 12:03 AM
5

We don't expect anything to be fixed. You're just rephrasing the same emotional release valve type behaviour in a way that makes women seem better adjusted. The only difference is to do with frequency. Women regularly "dump" their emotions on friends/family while expecting and receiving empathy. Whereas guys usually have to bottle it up and then the "dumping" is an all-at-once event.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 12:00 AM
2

"Express emotions, just not in a way that makes me uncomfortable"
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 11:53 PM
10

...women reward that behavior by dating the kind of guys who call other men "faggot"
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 09:44 AM
18

It's worsening things if anything Hostility towards male weakness won't lessen due to 'exposure.' Now it's normal to reflexively label any lonely man a toxic incel if he dares talk about his situation, even in very moderate terms. I don't remember these intensely hostile reactions even 10 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 09:10 AM
1

"Empowerment" was never a valid point to start with. Women doing OF don't get to complain over objectification while simultaneously contributing towards it and profiting from it. That's obviously hypocritical. Particularly when there's reasonable alternatives, like, ya know, getting a normal job like most people have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:12 AM
2

You wouldn't apply that across the board. For example, describing violent criminality as a problem originating with wealth disparity, which is partly true, but ignores the fact it's men responsible for the great majority of it. Pointing out patterns is just that. Women usually don't date down, neither in terms of class or economic status, regardless of their own circumstances. Framing it as blaming women when pointing it out (among other things) doesn't negate it. It would remain a factor if ave…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 12:57 AM
0

Obviously he means paid employment. More people flooding the labour market = suppressed bargaining power, wages and conditions for workers. More independent earners living alone = more consumers, more renters seeking accommodation etc. Female emancipation is very pro-capitalist in certain respects, which is why neo-liberal free market types are usually socially liberal.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 12:05 AM
1

There is some correlation. Western society has been capitalist for many decades, but wealth inequality has never been more extreme under this model. Home ownership is a now a far-off dream for many 20 or even 30 somethings. Median income men who might still struggle to meet their rent and car repayments aren't necessarily going to be an appealing prospect for women, particularly if those women see the point of a monogamous relationship being tied to having a family.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 11:53 PM
19

Part of the appeal would be (the right) man being the active party, no doubt. That's the reality progressives won't/can't acknowledge. Every form of social conditioning around gender could change, but the innate traits that make men and women different in behaviour/desire will not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 04:28 AM
7

Anyway, men would just complain about being approached by women they don't want if things were reversed. LOL. Average men are desperate for any validation. They would take it as an ego boost, including from women they weren't interested in. Sure, if it were happening a lot it might become aggravating, but that reflexive fear and disgust women feel towards men they aren't attracted to doesn't apply the same way here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 11:08 PM
3

They described them as feminists and "feminist" could mean anything from moderate egalitarian to unhinged man-hater. Imposing "consequences" on children for something they didn't do is abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 09:10 AM
5

They aren't "blaming women" collectively - if they're blaming anyone it's their individual mothers, and it's not clear they're even doing that. Nobody is perfect, the job of a single mother is difficult, and everyone carries resentment. But to intentionally or via negligence break down a boy because you hate his father - and by extension men - is abuse, plain and simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 09:01 AM
4

Who's "she"? Some fictional heroine? Like I said, you don't know these particular women. So assuming they did all that, that then excuses anything, any kind of emotional abuse or vengeful lashing out in the process?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:52 AM
4

You're just doing what you accuse others of: Defending people for no other reason than gender. Obviously it doesn't involve you either; you don't know his friend's mothers, and yet you reflexively defend them and deflect 100% of the blame on to some hypothetical deadbeat dad. Those dads are responsible for their actions, but the women are still responsible for how they raise their children and it doesn't sound like they did an adequate job in this case.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:37 AM
2

and you're quick to defend abusive mothers apparently
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:26 AM
0

... I'm not the person you originally responded to (u/NVOkie9018)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:41 AM
2

I said we don't know. I'll call out any man who does that. But that's not the issue. If she can't emotionally regulate enough to realize the boy she's raising isn't his father then it's better for all concerned to put that child up for foster care.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:33 AM
8

a/we don't know if the father abandoned them b/ being pissed at men doesn't justify emotional negligence
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:23 AM
9

Because women taking their issues with the father out on a boy is fine, right? No agency free-pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:14 AM
2

Sex work is a form of social work. Paid sex isn't "social work." Those kids will have trauma. Hope the money was worth it...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 05:52 AM
0

kind of sounds like you want women to show their gratitude to men as a whole though sex and relationships. No that's not a valid expectation, but it still leaves the problem of incentives. If enough men get it in their heads from an early age that they are undatable losers that have zero worth to women, they won't be as motivated to work in demanding fields, might just coast in easier jobs or go NEET, because that's how humans operate. We need reasons to put in effort that go beyond simple job s…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:42 PM
-3

If they were so happy single they wouldn't be loudly proclaiming it online at every opportunity. Happy people get on with their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:58 PM
9

Men form the great majority of STEM/ engineering graduates, account for 90% of workplace fatalities, pay the majority of tax. The majority of critical services, infrastructure and utilities we rely on are made possible by men, often blue collar men who are increasingly considered 'undatable' and labeled toxic by feminists because they didn't attend a high ranking college. They'd be no running water without them. Of course none of that entitles someone to romantic attention, a partner, 2.4 kids, …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:53 PM
31

If you want to argue for inherent value based on your body then don't get offended if you're valued solely for your body.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 11:04 AM
1

Would do is more relevant than could do. If you were comparing the experience of being sexually assaulted/murdered by a man vs killed by a wild animal that would be one thing. Plenty of women in that case would choose the latter because it involves less humiliation/degradation. But in the scenario of being on a trail with a man vs bear being attacked by either isn't a given so the likelihood is kinda relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:06 AM
1

It's simple. f you're going to argue for fear based on legitimate data - men committing 90% of violent crime and sexual assaults - then in theory there should be no problem arguing for being more fearful of certain races (where the stats point to higher offending rates). But of course there would be a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:52 AM
1

If you're going to argue for fear based on legitimate statistics - men committing 90% of violent crime and sexual assaults - then in theory there should be no problem arguing for being more fearful of black men (where statistics undeniably point to higher offending rates). But of course there would be a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:49 AM
1

Disingenuous. It still works with a bear in the woods. Lions and Great White sharks don't always attack humans on site. The relative dangerousness of the animal isn't relevant - only that they are dangerous.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:07 AM
1

If it were comparing the perceived experience of being r*ped and murdered vs torn apart by a large predator, it'd be understandable to choose to latter, since there's a particular fear around sexual violence and degradation. But not even factoring in the actual likelihood of a man turning out to be brutal r*pist vs chances of attacked in an encounter with a 300kg predator? They know very well the vast majority of men aren't a threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 06:56 AM
5

I'd wonder why she felt the need to suck off some rappers. That's being crude about it, but yea. It's far worse than a long string of previous casual partners (at least that's a mutually desired thing). Anyone who worships status enough to let herself being used like that isn't someone I could imagine being compatible with.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:06 AM
–

'Bromance' makes me recoil. Some of us grew up in a generation where men didn't talk about loneliness, not having close friends, etc. It was taboo in the 2000s, even online. What male friendship should mean to me is a group to do activities with. Focus on active. But that often isn't the reality. A lot of single guys my age are a broken down mess: bitter. divorced older men who cling to their comfort zones, sitting in their bar safe space sipping craft ale. Unless it's their most favourite thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 10:36 PM
2

Bisexuality doesn't make a desire-based distinction in the first place. The idea that straight women are more open minded when it comes to the idea of relations with other women is mostly bunk. If we're not oriented towards wanting something we're likely to find the thought icky. This is not difficult to grasp.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:50 PM
2

The flipside of desire is repulsion. If you are strongly oriented to feel desire for one thing, you will likely feel disgust for the opposite of that thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:33 PM
3

Speak for yourself. I would, and I'd bet my savings most people would.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:24 PM
–

It is in the context of sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:18 PM
–

Not really. Some things just aren't aesthetically appealing if you aren't oriented that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:09 PM
–

The aversion is most likely straight women's feelings of disgust at the thought or their partner engaging in sexual acts with another man. Gut level repulsion is an acceptable reason not to want to date someone. It doesn't require negative stereotypes or associations.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:00 PM
–

'Gay' as pejorative is homophobia, but what are you actually arguing here in terms of dating preference - they should have to force themselves to be comfortable with it so that bi individuals don't get upset over a preference that excludes them? (How incel-adjacent.) This isn't like someone refusing to date a black person. People engaging in sexual activity that doesn't align with our own orientation produces feelings of visceral disgust. That's just the way it is and no-one should have to unpac…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:38 AM
3

While some men will string women along and use women they have zero interest in romantically for sex, that's overstated on spaces like this. You would have to be making the case that this is a majority or a sizeable minority for that to fly. Men finding a higher % of women attractive than vice versa means your chances of finding an SO as an average to moderately sub-average looking woman are simply better.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 04:44 AM
1

Minimum necessity attraction and 'performance' are separate things. The latter can be worked on.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:49 AM
1

Depends on the standard. Total lack of attraction towards me? Hell no. But ranking people according to their sexual performance is obnoxious. Imagine if we said that of women?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:46 AM
1

Low income women tend to look for dominant/hypermasculine traits, along with security. Shy middle class men aren't an automatic shoe-in with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 10:28 PM
2

Lol. The majority of men can't easily date down. Women are out-earning men in several US cities. The average man has to choose from a limited pool of options. Women on the other hand can pick from a growing pool of desperado men who will offer them commitment in exchange for scraps of attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 09:38 PM
–

Decent looks aren't just the proverbial foot in the door / minimum necessity attraction requirement; they result in halo effect biases that help grease the wheels of social interaction. It's much easier to hone conversation skills and sense of humour from a positive starting point. We don't want to admit this clearly observable reality that attractive people do in fact seem to be more charismatic and engaging than average. And negative initial receptions are just unpleasant no matter the outcome…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 11:33 AM
3

OP sounds about as fun as a fence post...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 08:38 AM
1

It's easy to put on a false persona over messages (you have time to think about what you're going to say and choose words carefully). Not so easy irl. Somehow this obvious point escapes you. It also comes across as somewhat neurotic if jot combative to be picking apart neutral or polite messages and reading meaning into everything. How many people hsve long meaningful discussions over the apps anyway? And in-erson attraction matters too of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 09:32 PM
3

And yet, plenty of women say they prefer to split the bill because some men think that paying for dinner entitles them to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 09:51 PM
5

And the difference between expecting you to sleep with him after an expensive date vs coffee is what exactly? He's paid for dinner so that makes it better?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 12:12 PM
5

Yea but no-one's forcing you to have sex after a coffee date (or a first dinner date which is no different). If he wants that early on then that's obviously what he's after. Anyone can see that. Foolishly thinking you can convert that into a relationship is on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 11:19 AM
3

Lo no. In-person chemistry, seeing how someone articulates themselves in real life, seeing how they look in real life (and they you) it's all important.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 10:58 AM
1

Because men being more attracted to fun/energetic 25 year old's as opposed to bitter overweight 45 year old's with a string of exe's are acting out of fear. It's "fear" when you don't approve of it in other words.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 06:59 AM
11

Screening is exactly what coffee dates are. Don't women also want to screen for basic compatibility first, without the awkwardness, expense, time and effort of dinner dates with men they feel no connection with? You want to talk about wasted time?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 11:45 PM
6

I mean, you can. If you consider mass singleness a "problem" then the high/picky standards of people doing most of the rejecting could be considered the source of that problem. In reality there is no problem though, because people's standards relate to themselves as individuals, no-one dies from being single. no-one is setting a consensus others have to follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 06:03 AM
25

....I don't think I got the agenda items for this week, can you send me them?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:45 AM
3

So it seems more like preferences are a sliding scale where both genders have an "ideal" that is relatively rare. They're rare for different reasons. One is rare because people have decided to live sedentary lifestyles and consume large amounts of processed carbohydrate. The other is rare because sexual selection hasn't produced enough 6 foot + men yet. But if a guy is with the average American woman (5'4 and 170lbs) is he settling out of desperation? Is he miserable and hoping she'll lose weigh…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:28 AM
9

Absolutely. I'll bring it up at the next big meeting. (You know, those huge meetings where we determine women's leagues and decide what they're allowed to want.)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:05 AM
13

It's all preference, and all legitimate. Just not equivalent. Not wanting to date an obese person (obesity is a choice and objectively unhealthy) isn't equiivalent to height preference (genetic; only 15% of men are over 6 foot). Wanting an outgoing partner is fine but somewhat hypocritical if it's to compensate for passivity. Not wanting to be put in an awkward stepdad situation is...eh, pretty damn reasonable actually. Women's preferences cut more men out of the market based on innate or ingrai…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:34 AM
2

Previous relationships/partners are a common conversation topic. No way that's not going to come up at some point. Not being able to initiate/escalate will be a giveaway too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 09:06 AM
–

Yea what a lot of nonsense that was. As if women will be rushing into the arms of men who can barely afford their rent. All that's ahead is a further breakdown and reduction in social spaces, a general increase in singleness.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 08:01 AM
12

Wanting to feel special, in a relationship of all contexts. Oh, the horror! The lack of 'realism' is a problem, yea, but relationships are entered into for self-serving reasons. Nobody "altruistically" dates - that isn't a standard anybody meets.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 05:43 AM
4

The laziness aspect is in the nature of women's opening messages. We already know they're going to be pickier than men spam swiping right on Tinder, that's expected.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 03:53 AM
1

Then why use an app where they are intended to be initiating? That's the whole point of it - to avoid unwanted creepy spam from desperate-dog guys, let women select the guys they want to talk to and kick things off. Except them initiating ends up just being "hey" and, as if to say I've given you permission - now impress me. They really dating should work that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 03:41 AM
1

The flaws required for men to be completely invisible amount to not much more than being shy, awkward, lacking confidence and other masculine qualities, and the physical flaws are often genetic (below average height) Default assuming your male friends are just average guys is pretty clueless. Women tend to have male friends who would on average be more popular and not struggle as much with dating because of simple halo bias. That however is no more of a representative sample of men than men who …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 02:09 AM
1

That has to be a joke. Rejected by high tier men with plenty of options isn't the same as being romantically/sexually invisible all your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 01:53 AM
1

If half of it is overtly unpleasant then than leaves half that isn't. We don't see women complaining enough to want to change the dated social script to where they actually have to initiate and deal with rejection the way men do; even though it would be safer for them in the long run. We unfortunately get attention from men who feel entitled to us. At at least some of this women framing "men I'm not attracted to daring to show interest in me" as entitlement. Being desired by women is NOT the sam…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 10:58 PM
1

Every OLD study points to minimally women attractive women getting far more attention than even above average men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 09:13 PM
0

I've had crushes on women but it never really had the chance to develop into anything deeper.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:33 AM
1

Ever heard of the FreeHer campaign? Or similar campaigns in the UK? (Which includes releasing violent female offenders). Or various groups whose goal is to end female homelessness? (Men form the majority of the homeless in most of the developed world.)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:49 AM
8

No, I'm a 46 year old who's never even dated. You might argue I would cheat on someone if given the opportunity, cause I'm a man and all men would if they could blah blah. But I really doubt it. You'd have to live with this person. Look them in the eye every day. The guilt would be unbearable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:19 AM
1

It's a dated script. Women don't need to rely on men economically any more; that's mostly irrelevant to the modern dating/relationship landscape - unless somebody wants some trad lifestyle with 5+ kids as a housewife. The early-mid twentieth century context of men paying existed when most people got married shortly after leaving school, not in the current context when dating can go on for years/decades and many people only settle down with an SO after 30. You're arguing women have some innate hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 11:56 PM
3

Predictably clueless perspective. The average woman will have many more options and will probably forget about it in no time. "Messing up" for him could mean the next date will be months, even years away.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:30 PM
2

Desire protection and provision would be more accurate. Which manifests in wanting to desired more than desiring.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 09:47 AM
1

Society was built on couples who in many cases resented one another, sticking it out because of the kids, or God, their church/society's expectations. The alternative is whole lot more kids that require support from the state, people living alone (more costly) and arguably more long-term mental health issues as people age alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 11:28 PM
3

Lordy....All relationships are draining, that's the nature of compromise and living with another human being. If it's considered "toxic" the moment there's conflict or people's less-than-endearing sides are revealed, then I think you just do away with the concept of monogamy altogether. Call it serial monogamy/temporary situationship whatever, but stop this pathetic pretense.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 10:18 PM
1

FFS nobody is an ideal partner. Everybody is flawed to some extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:01 PM
-2

Few people are happy alone - and those that are don't post online claiming they are, they just get on with their lives. Those buzzwords are auto-red flag material.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:33 AM
5

Sounds like something obese people would say to normalize giving up. Take a look at some family photos of grandparents when they 50-60+ How many of them were obese? Right. Even women who had several kids weren't. They might not have stayed toned or youthful, but most people (90%) were healthy weight in the mid-twentieth century. Because - shock- they moved around, worked outside and didn't eat beyond their caloric needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:23 AM
1

lol sure. What leverage do you think average men have? If women wanted to change the norms around who approaches they would have by now (Lord knows it would be safer for them on the whole). That tells you it's an innate preference. They want assertive men go after what they want and takes risks for their sake etc. etc. - that's a "basic requirement." Average men who take care of themselves aren't going to convince average women to start approaching by staying aloof. All that'll do is increase th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 04:57 AM
1

Men who are 6ft + with model-tier facial structures are outliers. Within range of average men have to work with what they have, and it typically requires a lot more effort to make themselves attractive to (some) women than women have to expend to have willing suitors in their DMs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 04:39 AM
0

How many times do I have put this. We don't decide who/what we find attractive. Women who want male partners benefit from men's lower attraction threshold as well as the social norm that designates men should approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 04:24 AM
-1

Because it requires less or no effort usually. Whereas men usually need to gym it, or improve their status. Which requires effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 04:17 AM
-1

It's at least partly women's fault for hovering around low commitment men when they should know better, then getting burned, bitter, and blaming the rest of us. But really, it's nobody's fault. We're predisposed to certain behaviours, and if men have a low threshold for what counts as sexually attractive you aren't going to convince them to think otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 03:07 AM
-4

It's not about assigning blame. Men have a higher drive, well all know that. It's simply pointing out the absurdity of referring to the "basics" that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:30 AM
0

Male thirst and lack of standards certainly has something to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:14 AM
0

Or perhaps physically attractive men - who form a smaller % of the male population due to innate traits such as height, full head of hair etc. plus female hypergamy - are so overwhelmed with options many of them are less likely to commit. Considering the obesity stats it's fairly clear most women can't meet the "basic expectations" either, ....and yet, full inboxes...unearned attention...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 01:06 AM
9

'Self-love' is a standard barely anyone meets, but I'm not talking about pop psychology notions of needing to love yourself before someone else can that get repeated ad nauseum. Rejection is a natural and normal part of dating for men. Fixed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 10:50 PM
20

A lot of guys went through bullying and have deeper self-esteem issues. Genuine trying opens one up to real, unavoidable rejection and having low self-worth confirmed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 03:15 AM
1

While there's some benefit if your social skills are lacking, I have a problem with using people like this and wasting their time in a process that is likely to lead to burnout and even more cynicism. There's other contexts in which to talk to women, other ways to spend your time that will lead to more confidence. And frankly having the same lame getting-to-know you chat over and over every few days seems exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 09:21 AM
2

And yet it's stated as a common concern in every piece of research on this (behind pay, lack of prestige progression opportunities).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:13 AM
3

Teachers and nurses should probably be paid more than they are but that doesn't mean they should be getting the same as engineers, GPs, surgeons, immunologists etc. That is essentially an argument for flattening the wage scale which would require an authoritarian state and remove incentives from high-stress, high qualification requirement jobs. The reason there aren't as many male teachers is because men are terrified of accusations.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 04:59 AM
1

Unable or unwilling? Choosing to go into fields that pay less isn't society's fault - most of the time it's a personal choice based on predisposition. Why should society correct for that?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 04:52 AM
1

Lol sure. A wealthy celebrity actress refuses to use her position and influence to do anything for 20 years until she can get back into the limelight. And her comrade rapes a 17 yo boy then claims said boy "tricked her" into it ( zero accountability pattern here). Face it, this 'movement' was full of bad-faith sociopaths.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:18 AM
0

That makes not exposing him for 20 years even worse, doesn't it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:44 AM
1

If you were referring to rom coms/movies it'd be a stronger argument because they have a broader audience and there's also 'noise' in the form of male producers/consumers who may expect/want things to be presented a certain way, as well as dated tropes around gender. Romance novels on the other hand are entirely aimed at a female audience with mainly female authors. If they didn't accurately cater to a large % of women's preferences they wouldn't sell.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 08:05 AM
1

Yeah nominally egalitarian. Beneath that, people fall into patterns, with men if not 'leading' a relationship, still having to be the strong stoic one.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 07:45 AM
1

...and so you do some basic vetting for mental stability/normality via message, then meet in a public space and not exchange personal details until you know them better.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 07:25 AM
2

It's a general maxim that applies to relationships where people have a degree of agency over what they will/will not accept, not a excuse for harassment or SA or whatever you're claiming. As for #metoo.. lol. It took Rose McGowan 20 years to expose Weinstein. In her 40s when the roles were drying up. Dozens of women would have been subject to the 'casting couch' during that time. The other prominent voice in that movement, Asia Argento, was accused of having sex with a 17 year old boy then payin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 10:23 PM
1

Wow...This is every inexperienced man's dream...Where do they meet women like you?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 05:18 AM
1

I didn't and I'm satisfied enough with that. I couldn't date because I had to take care of someone in my family as a young person. Trying to be open minded about it, I went to various age-appropriate singles events in my 40s, and even with the rarer nicer person there was little in common because the experience gap was too much. So I chose to stop there rather than try to date someone 'appropriate' then have to make a hundred blunders, learn what I should have at 20 with someone who has decades …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 06:59 AM
10

that's not a man and it's not attractive. This is not looking for a man, it's looking for a utility to control.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 06:54 AM
1

No you didn't. You're just lazily repeating my words. It specifically refers to the appeal of dangerous mafia connected men and women raising their sons to be part of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 06:13 AM
2

I provided a source. Not going to provide any more if you're too lazy to read it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 05:38 AM
1

It's not just staring though is it. It's private unacted upon thoughts from random uggo men that disgust them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 05:35 AM
0

I didn't say women were attracted specifically to violence but to traits we associate with masculinity. The potential for violence/force is an aspect of masculinity because it's relevant to men's ability to protect/provide. Evolved tendencies are rule-of-thumb. Some women, often young women, (mis)read aggression as masculine and some men are aggressive only some of the time. Men who lean masculine will on average be more likely to be violent. Hence, some women end up with men who's behaviour vee…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 05:01 AM
5

No. Women pair up with violent men, and often it's violence directed towards other men at least initially, because people aren't perfect, they act on impulse or base desire, and don't fit into simple good/bad categories. Similar to how men date attractive BPD women. And denying innate preferences is absolutely a blue pill specific thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 02:51 AM
6

Tenet...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 02:14 AM
5

The general idea here is that women are attracted to dominant traits, physical and otherwise, found in men who are capable of protecting them. Hybristophilia attraction to killers is a sort of perverted extreme of this. Blue-pillers are in the habit of claiming women are defective, backward, brainwashed by patriarchy, "not the kind of women you want" etc. for wanting masculine men when in fact that's normal and more moderate red pillers defend women holding this preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 02:05 AM
–

TRP doesn't exist to address workplace health & safety or other problems men face disproportionally. It isn't an over-arching political movement. It's essentially dating advice for men with an evo-psych underpinning. The question is for men's rights groups, or egalitarians, not red pillers on reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 08:42 AM
1

So basically sticking to mainstream interests and lifestyle will put you in greater proximity to women because women are more genetically similar to one-another and 'average' men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 08:29 AM
–

Which is why feminism is needed, because without it, men would just be horrible and abusive to women and take away/prevent them from having rights. So yes, you are technically correct, but only if you also agree that men are naturally abusive rapists; oppressive; and violent to women and only stop doing so under threat of force from more powerful men. There's various other explanations for why feminism is "allowed" by men. From a neo-liberal perspective women's emancipation grows the pool of wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:30 AM
–

That's like arguing that oligarchy is really a Marxist dictatorship of the proletariat because the wealthy still need the services of average people for security and mundane tasks. Obviously that's nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:17 AM
1

Exactly. Men's ability to provide was highly relevant because women's survival often depended on it. Now it doesn't. And since dating can go on fir 10-15 years, it's not longer reasonable to expect median income men to foot the bill for 500 bad dinner dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 09:31 AM
1

18 deaths per 100,000 births is a low chance. There a similar chance of dying in a fatal car accident.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:48 PM
0

The maternal mortality rate in the US is 18 per 100,000 births. In Europe it's 5-8. The chances of dying or experiencing serious complications are low.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:45 PM
1

Since when is this place representative? Most people don't cheat. Most people have kids because they want them and intend to support them. This space is essentially a venting ground.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:37 PM
1

It's easier to make this choice knowing you'll probably have nieces/nephews some day. You aren't the end of your family line.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:26 PM
1

A frequent example is shaming men for having preferences for low n count women (i.e. not them) And that includes low n count men, whom they wouldn't touch with a barge pole. There a no 'neutral' preferences, everything is political.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 01:11 PM
–

...well yea I don't think many of us would argue that is it is ideal for her. If you're open to dating that much older you would already have considered the downsides beforehand.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 06:44 AM
–

Yea, used hypocritically by people who enforce it over others. Most women here have very trad 'yus queen' ideas about men approaching, paying, proving themselves etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 08:05 PM
–

Almost 90% of OnlyFans creators are female: https://wifitalents.com/onlyfans-gender-statistics/ Some responsibility needs to be put on the men who consume this content as well, sorry. We can hold people responsible for their choices while still judging something as a social ill. Just because there's a demand doesn't mean it has to be met.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 09:03 AM
1

By "better" they mean not choosing abusive fuckboys, not jumping from one man to another based on income.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 06:58 AM
3

The more desirable you are generally, the easier it is to find an SO. And people care about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 06:20 AM
1

100% agree. Skanky, low-rent people with non-existent standards would probably be having more casual sex than average (with one-another), but that of course says nothing about their attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 06:17 AM
16

Also, if someone consistently feels like love has to be earned through achievement, status, or outperforming others, that often traces back to conditional affection. A lot of people grow up receiving praise, reassurance, or warmth only when they succeed. So they internalize this idea that love equals performance. That is not misogyny necessarily. But it is unhealthy. It isn't through upbringing, it's a gender role imposed by society, reinforced at every point by the opposite sex. One that says '…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 08:04 PM
–

OP probably thinks healthy self-esteem is a 'decision' or something that can be worked on through therapy. A big part of our self-image develops in adolescence where people are most selfish and superficial, and that's exactly where most of bullying and pecking order behavior occurs with young men. Every hierarchy has to have people towards the bottom. To expect these guys to approach dozens, maybe hundreds of women and form connections with some of them without showing insecure, anxious, low sel…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 02:54 AM
1

They're hated mainly for their status as unpopular, sexually frustrated losers who, crucially, make themselves visible through whining. Their views on relationships/women add justification for what is already predisposed contempt. And it turns out that most are not even right wing or extreme politically. The average incel is centre left. White men are slightly underrepresented. I'm on the FA subs and the reaction to FA men isn't that different - if you are read as a low status male who complains…
/r/BlackPillScience14/02/26 10:38 PM
1

Good! Subjecting someone who hasn't asked for it to your sexual interest does make you a creep Women at meetups aren't asking for sexual attention either, moron. Even in specific dating events, which I'm assuming is what you mean here, cause you can't be that stupid to mean other sorts of events. And those often only happen in large cities, and usually sausage fests. What does that leave? Online dating. That's your advice. Keep it online or else you're a creep. It puts them in an awkward situati…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 11:25 AM
2

....asking to be hit on Except they aren't. Women constantly tell men they don't want to be hit on in so-called appropriate spaces any more i.e. bars/clubs when out with friends or other social events they just want to enjoy in peace. Men risk creep shaming and meltdowns whatever the circumstances and approval seekers like you are first in line to put the boot in.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 05:07 AM
1

Because there's so many physically fit feminine looking women in this age group right. That wouldn't be a small very high demand % would it. /s Sophisticated middle-aged people? Most of them are sedentary, lead dull-as-dishwater slowing lifestyles and are deeply bitter over no longer being young (but engage in various copes to pretend otherwise).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 04:07 PM
0

The hell are you talking about? It's uncommon because it isn't socially acceptable, widely shamed (read the aggressive responses from older women to this post as proof of that) plus the fact that most people date within their social circles and age cohorts. However all the data on this points to older men being most attracted to the appearance of women in their twenties. It's not even a debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 03:25 PM
1

Or how about the entire female contribution to this post, overflowing with butthurt over-the-top anger. This hits a nerve with them and not for the reasons they claim. You were talking about an "even partnership" so I was pointing out for a lot of guys here it wouldn't be "even" with similar age women. But please, more snark, this is reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 08:23 AM
1

You don't have to guess at all. This sub is full of bitter dudes who are mad for being rejected. And bitter older women mad at starting to deal with something similar. But at least they didn't miss out on crucial life experiences. Case in point. Yea, case in point, So I can tell you how it is. Clearly you have nothing to add and just wanted to fire back.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 08:04 AM
3

Superficial attraction is a necessary prerequisite before that kind of connection develops. This is why it's best to pair up when you're both young. You get to experience both the hormone based attraction and fun part that can only be had in a certain part of life, then grow together and hopefully those attraction preferences adjust with that. But I'm guessing lot of men here didn't get to pair up or experience dating when they were young, and that probably explains some of this. They feel cheat…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 07:01 AM
–

Or maybe he keeps himself in shape despite not being at his peak, but the women he could plausibly date is his age group typically don't any more and look heavy, unfeminine and unappealing. Or maybe he's relatively less experienced and doesn't want to deal with a similar age person's bitter divorce baggage, general resentment towards the opposite sex which would require existing on egg shells 24/7 Maybe younger adults are more spontaneous and energetic instead of sanctimonious and dull. There's …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:59 AM
–

It seems like incel adjacent whining when women revert to OTT rhetoric, and it absolutely is when the younger party is fully grown not a late teen/early 20 something (what other explanation is there in that case)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:05 AM
–

Right. It took Rose McGowan 20 years to accuse Weinstein.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:46 PM
1

That would involve very young women. Probably barely legal/college age. Older women get salty when men their ages date a 29 yo.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:37 PM
1

Personally I don't find women that age particularly interesting romantically. Then you're either outside the norm or you're lying. Every bit of data on this points to men being most attracted to women in their early-mid 20s. (Whether or they consider it appropriate to seek out relationships with them.)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:31 PM
1

There's nothing to 'blame' - younger women bear children, post-menopause women don't. There's clear reasons for the preference because we exist as a sexually reproducing species. Sperm degradation doesn't change that fact that the majority of even very old men will still father healthy (talking increases on small percentages). Nobody needs to make excuses for being more physically attracted and preferring to date younger adults. Being superficial is not a crime. As long as that's a fully grown p…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:25 PM
1

A 12 year old is not physically mature/developed. Nor it is safe for them to bear children. Obviously not an adult psychologically. Keep reaching.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 09:52 PM
1

You get attention from pedophiles at that age. Not denying that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 09:25 PM
2

It isn't pedophilia to be older and attracted to 20 somethings, and that's juat about universal for men. (Technically it isn't with anyone past puberty; we designate very young physically mature people as children to protect them.) They're the same age - I'm single man in my 40s, and that is my experience with singles events. Desperate. Pushy. Angry. And by the way Brad Pitt gets torn to pieces and labeled creepy for dating a younger woman, who is pushing middle-age herself. Same thing with Jaso…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 09:04 PM
-1

Younger women are more attractive on average to men of any age. Plenty of data to back that up. They do seeth. They get in your personal space. Touch you without consent. Act like you should just be interested. React badly when you aren't. It's like the gender/age reverse of alienated incel type young men who haven't learnt to deal with rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:24 PM
-2

The 50 year old women feels entitled to a partner because it was relatively easy for her to find when she was younger. Now it isn't. Now she has to experience life as average and below average men always have. That explains the lashing out and attempts at moralizing what older men are supposed be attracted to. (Them, obviously.) I'm around women my age (40s) and they're often bitter AF and process rejection badly. It doesn't mean all or most older men are desirable - it means on some level they …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:00 PM
-2

It's men the same age, as women age. Older male age gap relationships represent a loss of desirability and power in the dating scene, so of course they want to discourage it, and it doesn't have to involve very young women/girls either. I've heard this shit about older men with women in their late 20s/early 30s, so this obviously isn't just about protecting very young women. The gossip /dating subs are full of older women losing their shit and trying to thought police men their ages. It's so obv…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 07:23 PM
–

Basically, like so much here, it has nothing to fucking do with you or how you look. It does for the same reasons attractive men (or attractive BPD women) get away with a range of behaviours that would be viewed very differently in others. The simple Halo Bias we're all subject to. And because they're attractive women are hurt that much more when those men turn out to be the opposite of what they seemed.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 10:48 AM
1

Yup. The kind of man who could be manipulated into marriage like that isn't one you want to marry.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 06:42 AM
14

Honestly, a lot of the 'women complain about not being approached' stuff seems to be coming out of the manosphere. It's being overstated to say the least. Plenty of women have been assaulted or encountered genuinely threatening men approaching them in car parks etc. so emotions naturally run high. And just personally, even if there were a subsection of women who appreciated cold approaches and I could somehow identify them before time, I'm not going to approach them because I'm not a circus anim…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 06:22 AM
16

JFC, have you considered writing a dissertation on something that matters more than this? This is just adding to the impression that men have nothing better to do than obsess over dating and perceived unfairness. The best way to avoid this mess is to simply not bother people in public. There's other avenues, and even if there weren't, sticking to principle won't kill you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 05:56 AM
–

Er, yea, it kind of is though depending on how you define significantly younger. An older man wanting to date a 28 yo who is out of his league is no different than the aforementioned woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 09:23 PM
3

Men don't have to be 'bottom percent' to get little-to-no interest on the apps: It's just about guaranteed by the gender ratio alone. It's not ego, it's healthy self-respect. Which everyone should have. If I'm in the extreme inferior position compared to someone I'm trying to "impress" then at some point it simply isn't worth it. Do you want to message/approach hundreds of strange men who are indifferent or contemptuous of you, just for the fleeting chance of getting to impress one man in a tota…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 12:00 AM
3

Lol do you know what the success rate would be for average men on an app? Average men would get few or no opportunities through those platforms.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 09:07 PM
2

If women really based their lives around catering to the male gaze they wouldn't be overweight, have tattoos, or deviate at all from strict feminine mid-twentieth century appearance. You're making a norm and a minor inconvenience into something more than it is. And btw men are 'shaved' in porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 11:39 AM
3

You can't "prod" somebody without their consent, that's assault. The mechanics of intercourse aren't objectifying, neither are unacted up urges. Objectification is an action taken towards someone that denies their humanity. Merely having sexual thoughts about someone doesn't count. You think a large % of women are unenlightened morons who somehow don't understand that men notice them in a sexual way when they wear revealing clothing; whereas you're part of the minority that do (lol) Except that …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 10:04 AM
3

Or it's a feature of the fact most people have an orientation and don't mind being 'seen' as long as it doesn't result in obviously negative consequences. Which women are speaking for exactly. Women who aren't straight or just detest men like you? They aren't wearing those outfits. Sundresses and short skirts aren't mandatory anywhere. Making them mandatory break a number of laws. You have no point.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 09:41 AM
0

It's not disgust but differing notions around what counts as formal office wear, a hang-over from days past. Shorts have never been judged as formal. But plenty of workplaces are dropping the strict code. Hairy man who loves hairy women Oh good grief.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 09:31 AM
2

This causes men to pursue women obsessively and seek validation to an unhealthy degree. It can also have dangerous consequences when already mentally unbalanced men feel emasculated through rejection. And just personally, as a 46 yo virgin who spent a big chunk of his 20s taking care of a family member while surviving on a few hours sleep, I might not be a desirable man, but I am a man and fuck you for implying otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 06:50 AM
3

And then it brings a question, does it matter that there are no open conflicts in real life if people are thinking the same thoughts and it brings the same divide? The last few years I've noticed Gen Z people in my workplace (not in my dept. thank God) behaving oddly. Men and women don't seem to socialize with one another the way they used to. No mixed groups going out to drinks after work any more. Interactions seem...tense. One young woman kept giving people around her different first names, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 03:01 AM
1

Orientation is for the most part based on female/male primary and secondary sex characteristics. Human beings existed well before society was organized into complex social arrangements where concepts of gender formed. Even then, it was often women who would be considered extremely skinny today worrying about their weight. Looking at how much beauty standards have shifted within even just a couple decades tells you a lot about how subjective beauty standards really are. Or the average person is f…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 03:42 PM
1

I have had crushes on little boys since I was 3 years old Might want to rephrase that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 02:04 PM
1

But the relevance for this topic is that neither masculinity nor femininity are fixed objects in the universe. They’re social constructs exposed to us as we develop sexually. So I'm going to assume you at least agree that orientation originates with biological sex. not gender. This is why at times during history, chonky donky women with extremely pale skin were the heighth of feminine beauty (because more weight and pale skin indicated leisure) Plump, not morbidly obese. 'Slightly overweight' by…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 01:35 PM
6

People develop sexuality through exposure and conditioning Orientation is innate, Human sexuality is barely any more socially conditioned than that of lions. It makes sense for women's appearances to be more sexually/aesthetically appealing because they bare children; male value is tied to protection and provision rather than fertility. If human sexuality were socially conditioned we would not exist as a species; there wouldn't have been enough reproduction happening with healthy reproductive ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 06:05 AM
36

I mean OP is probably basing his comments on a large subset of women here who constantly talk about the vast majority of men as if they were disgusting cave trolls. It's pretty obvious that women have a more limited criteria around the male form and what aesthetically appeals about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 04:20 AM
1

In comes TRP and I turn from Billy Beta that can only get friendzoned into someone that can get women at will. Or you developed a spine and took more of a dgaf attitude, which is going to appeal to at least some women or increase your chances via the numbers game - better than overthinking, neurotically trying to decode them or worry about what every woman on the planet might think of you - which btw appeals to no-one, But coming to this realization doesn't require TRP and could just be framed a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 03:41 PM
1

Good grief... Part of the reason "treating others as people" matters is to avoid causing distress. But women are going to become distressed by any form of unwanted attention, much more than a man would, therefore this standard doesn't apply in real life - ergo the only way for a men to 'treat women like human beings' in this context is being 100% certain that the interest is reciprocated beforehand.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 03:29 PM
2

You can because you're a woman and no man is going react like that or label you something unless you behave absolutely outrageously.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 02:24 PM
2

Most of the actionable advice - at least in terms of meeting women and making a decent impression - is just common sense. Clean yourself up. Go out more. Talk to people. Try to read subtext. Improve your looks, health and conversation skills. If they can't understand that then they're beyond help already. The rest of the actionable advice is specific to the individual and not something strangers on reddit can help with.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 02:10 PM
2

The problem is 'treating women as humans' usually means making 100% certain they're never uncomfortable; mind reading, never putting a step wrong, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 02:02 PM
2

Most of the MTG player types are employed STEM nerds.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 01:53 PM
1

I didn't say disgusting on some objective level. It's a personal felt repulsion towards that which is alien to our own desires, not a judgement on anybody. In theory homosexual people may be disgusted by the thought of hetero intercourse, which would also be a legitimate reason not to want to pair up with someone who does or has engaged in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:13 AM
1

It sounds fine to normal people who aren't hung up on whether others want to fuck them. And it isn't inherently racist to have racial preferences either. In theory it could be, but a preference for familiar faces has been studied and is fairly universal. As a man in his 40s who never even had a date but doesn't think women owe him anything, I find this line of thinking absurd and very telling. It's hiding entitlement behind social justice theory. At its core, barely any better than incels or any…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 07:35 AM
0

If the so-called bigotry isn't to do with human rights but being found desirable then I'm going to have some healthy scepticism around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 07:12 AM
0

Source: bi person.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:11 AM
0

Nobody owes you an explanation as to why they don't want to be sexually intimate with you in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:05 AM
0

"This commonplace preference that limits my dating options is oh-so evil and bigoted and should be discouraged!" Grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:49 AM
1

Someone's orientation is part of who they are. Their past sexual behaviour is who they are. It's valid to be attracted to or repulsed by that without holding a generalized negative view of an entire group. It is just a case of not finding it appealing at the interpersonal level.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:45 AM
2

How so? Because everyone has to be down with the idea of sex they aren't oriented towards? Because you're entitled to attention from straights and a large varied dating pool or else your poor feels will get hurt? And apparently straight men are the entitled group..
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:07 AM
1

Here's a thought: maybe they're just repulsed by the thought of their bf/husband having hot 'n steamy sexy times with another guy? Maybe gay sex is repulsive to people who aren't gay/bi, and therefore the idea of their partner engaging in it affects their attraction to that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 10:40 PM
1

Why would they risk dating a bi man when they don't even know how he will behave or whether he will one day leave them for a man? Here's a thought: maybe they're just repulsed by the thought of their bf/husband having hot 'n steamy sexy times with another guy? Maybe gay sex is repulsive to people who aren't gay/bi, and therefore the idea of their partner engaging in it affects their attraction to that person. Shocking right. Who would have thought. A person's orientation and proclivities are par…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 10:38 PM
1

A lot of women are... 'A lot'... huh. You're talking about a subset of a small community to start with. The vast majority of people would be repulsed by some of the behaviour you just described, particularly in that opening paragraph.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 10:20 PM
3

It isn't 'biphobic' to be straight and want a straight partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 09:01 PM
1

"Care about what they want" is a tell. You could have said "care about their personality". What you're really saying is women don't want men they don't personally find attractive having sexual thoughts about them, because they're disgusted by those men and the thought of being desired by them. Men they also fancy is fine. A people have sexual thoughts about about strangers all the time. Grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:35 PM
–

That's being desired, not objectified. And most people want to be desired i.e. found sexually attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:21 PM
–

...No it isn't. That would involve an action for one thing, some kind of outward behavior, and the majority of men aren't acting inappropriately on their sexual impulses, catcalling etc. People finding each other sexually appealing and fantasizing is normal. It's a necessary prerequisite for romantic interest for most including most women. Fact that men's preferences lean more visual (and are acted upon more frequently) doesn't mean women don't have visual preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:07 PM
3

Can you overcome your 200k year old hard wiring to chase after 17 yo’s? False equivalence. Most men are still attracted to legal age women. You're expecting women should date men they quite likely feel no attraction to whatsoever, based on social pressure/norms. It won't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 11:27 AM
1

They're already told that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 08:23 AM
3

Modern rigs are automated now. How hard is it to push a button? Rig pigs are a thing of the past. Only 2 bit, illegal operations need rig pigs to fucking sling chain. So who do you think designs those systems? Or designs and maintains hydropower drams, coal-fired power stations, nuclear reactors, irrigation systems, etc. Builds the infrastructure and utilities you rely on. The technology you're using to post this ignorant garbage. Produced in industries that are 80-90% male. Without men you woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 05:53 AM
16

We need each other in the sense that it's totally impractical to gender segregate the economy. In terms of interpersonal relationships there's no need for men and women to rely on one-another any more (unless we're talking long-term survival of the species).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 04:24 AM
2

What i wanna stress with this is, that we actually might have to establish new gender norms and make a new better system, instead of saying that we just leave things how they are upon the disablement of the patriarchy. Like what exactly - beyond normalizing widespread singleness. It's hard to see how society could socially re-engineer 200,000 + years of adaptive pressure - millions if you include pre-human hominins - to convince women to settle for men they would rather not without coercive pres…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 03:09 AM
2

Bad, evil, no. But being perpetually single would in many respects correlate with being less capable, less successful in life generally, less genetically 'fit' and therefore undesirable. There's no way around that conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 02:54 AM
11

The average man is not going to care (and some prefer it).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 07:06 PM
5

Do you think you have any of the qualities that make a man "fuckable'?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 11:17 PM
1

It's absolutely not the same for women, because women aren't expected to initiate. You demand qualities in men that you more-than-likely lack and would struggle greatly if the roles were reversed.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 11:04 PM
–

You're free to leave. That is not up for debate. But other people are free to criticize, particularly if you've made a serious commitment like marriage. Would you marry a man who made it clear he'd end it the moment you gained a few pounds? Right. This whole argument is absurd because nobody would start long-term relationships expecting the other person to be that selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:09 PM
6

And here it is, straight from the horse's mouth, OP....
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 02:42 PM
16

Dozens of uncensored comments from women on relationship subs. The general perception that virgin = loser in males, which is everywhere. It's ingrained into culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 09:45 AM
23

Ignore the 'official line' in the comments OP. Past 25 not having any prior endorsements from women is going to reflect on you as a man, your social skills, masculinity, judged mental stability, etc. The older you get, the worse it gets, the less slack you will be cut, and the fewer opportunities there will be to change course. This is why dating and getting experience during or shortly after college is so critical.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:14 AM
2

Also: you don’t have to bring up the fact you’re a virgin. And yet women on reddit argue men are obligated to disclose virginity as part of "informed consent"
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 06:07 AM
-2

Then men and women would only choose each other on looks and compatible qualities. That's never going to happen because the preference for men who can provide/protect is an adaptation that formed over 200 hundred thousand years (millions if you count early hominins). It's as innate as anything. The problem is not the preference but the lack of honesty around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:29 PM
0

So basically they're unrefined morons who like football, big trucks and eating at Hooters.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:20 PM
–

Male loneliness: lifetime of complete invisibility (aside from being perceived as a threat). Female loneliness: bougie upper-middle-class 'economically viable' men won't approach me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 09:56 AM
4

They're either sausage fests or full of rude people with personality disorders.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 08:37 AM
3

If male sexuality mirrored female sexuality overnight, resulting in men finding large swathes of women unattractive, lots and lots of women would become sad, frustrated, jaded, bitter and even angry. We'd have a mental health crisis and women would definitely and massively attack men for it, at least verbally. Already see this with women over 40. Many 45 yo single women behave like the older gender swap equivalent of bitter, alienated 19 yo 4Chan boys who haven't learnt to regulate their emotion…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 07:49 AM
–

Cause it's impractical to legislate polyandry in a modern social democracy. Just an observation: The majority of polyamorous relationships seem to involve desperate middle-aged fatties who look like they haven't showered in a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 03:03 AM
2

The difference between needs and incentives isn't as clear-cut as people want to make out. And anyway most of those women would have no trouble acquiring sex if they wanted and can passively wait for romantic partners to approach them (easy to demand others accept something you don't have to). A person can survive in an 8-by-4 cell with food/water for 70 years while finding strategies to psychologically cope with isolation and profound boredom - but that doesn't make it a life worth living.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:14 PM
1

Without motivations and incentives, people start to behave to self-destructive manners than harm their basic wellbeing and damage the ability to have their needs met. So no, it isn't a requirement survival of course. Only an incel weirdos would argue that. But appealing to and finding a partner is certainly a fundamental motivation for most people. arguably for men more than women since men are expected to initiate and 'earn' sexual relationships, and so the real prospect of failing to will like…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:01 PM
3

It's too poorly phrased for AI.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 02:32 PM
4

Complaining about entitlement while feeling entitled to attention and resources. Comedy gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 02:26 PM
8

Then you're not looking. "Manlet" and "virgin" are incredibly common insults.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 07:06 AM
5

I’m going to throw a wild and crazy theory out here: Perhaps it’s because we’re hardwired to seek out partners because - shock – we’re part of a sexually reproducing species,
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:16 AM
4

No, but using the law or social condemnation for a personal vendetta, absolutely. Why did Rose McGowan wait until her 40s (when she was less attractive and her career was wrapping up) before exposing Weinstein? She had a good 20 years to do this. Dozens of women would have subjected to the same behaviour in that time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:04 PM
7

Doesn't logic. If you're living your best lives free of disappointing partners then you should be more happy not less.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:11 PM
7

As if community were just there, waiting for us. That's a woman's perspective. Seriously, go undercover as a man and try socializing with strangers in any social setting. Deal with the cold wary receptions. Now deal with that treatment every day of your life. Community among men often doesn't exist because men compete with each other for resources and status (in large part because that makes them appealing to women).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 07:32 PM
19

Men's desires are framed as entitlement. Women's desires are framed as rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 07:12 PM
2

Yea, you couldn't pay me enough to date that woman. Mentally ill, psychopathic or plain skeezy people with no standards hooking up with one another doesn't prove Red Pill talking points. It's just weirdos hooking up, nothing more.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 06:08 AM
–

This is women pushing a sanctified version of masculinity that benefits them (minus the sexism and selfishness represented by red pill rhetoric). That doesn't necessarily benefit men or allow them to show more emotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 10:03 PM
1

Nobody wants to be in the latter half of declining options...ultimately it's very difficult to feel close to someone if you know they wouldn't have spoken to you 10-15 years earlier. Dealing with women's PTSD after dating dominant men in their 20s - often when the man in question has far less or very limited relationship experience himself - isn't exactly a desirable situation either, as that's the clear mismatch in life experience and emotional development. Most of Gen Z are too young to experi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 09:50 PM
–

Then call it something other than healthy masculinity, because clearly it isn't about what is healthy for men but providing maximum utility to women. Of course it's also worth pointing out that the official narrative women support and their actual behaviour can be strikingly different.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 06:03 AM
–

That's not how attraction works, and political/social views should be independent of reward anyway. Decent people don't curate their views according to what might provide them with "sexual access" of all things. The only women who would find that appealing would be those who use sex to control men. "Healthy masculinity" is vacuous. There isn't an aspect of masculinity that isn't in some manner tied to so-called toxic traits. Women don't want to acknowledge that because it means they're complicit…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 03:46 AM
–

Plenty of socially awkward, physically slight, unmasculine, bullied-within-an- inch-of-their-lives-during-adolescence men would disagree with that last sentence. Men who ended up behaving badly or lashing out got into relationships in the first place. Men who struggle to date don't get chances to demonstrate anything to differentiate themselves from those guys. Attraction is amoral. Hating Andrew Tate isn't going to put you on anyone's radar. Being vaguely male-feministy isn't going to make you …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 03:11 AM
1

This is already widely condemned, so it's hard to see what individual men can do beyond judging it as unacceptable. We're responsible for our own attitudes, behaviours and who we choose to mingle with.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 10:52 PM
3

Didn't say women in general make it up, but women here are on the neurotic end of the spectrum, and since I've heard all sorts of weird and whacky examples that amount to little more than 'undesirable man behaves like he has an orientation' I'd need more. Sorry but I don't think being asked out to lunch once by your dorky coworker or being glanced at in the gym counts as harassment. And what muddies the waters further is that plenty of women expect men they're interested in to aggressively pursu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 10:20 PM
2

quite sure
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 10:02 PM
2

Of course it happens. It's that your - i.e. women on spaces like this - definition of harassment is often questionable and extends well beyond the legal or consensus definition to mean basically any unreciprocated interest from men you consider undesirable. Particularly when "objectification" is brought into it that could mean basically whatever you want. As for calling out other men, I'm not in social circles with those kinds of men. In what context would that be happening? Just admonish some r…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 09:53 PM
–

Fewer decent options by 30-35. Few options (for long-term) by 40+ That's not red pill, that's reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 03:05 AM
–

Or... I've had my fun when I was young, now I want to lock in a committed relationship and vet for compliance with a man I'm less excited by/attracted to while I still have options. If you're interested in commitment then not having sex early is basically common sense. It shouldn't take years to figure that out. Naturally we'd wonder whether there's a genuine change in values in that case.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:25 PM
–

The subtext of the OP's post is that it's 100% on the man to make romance 'happen.'
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 10:52 PM
–

If you dread having to go to a place to have sexless fun activities with your date, you don’t want a relationship. Would you consider gifts, surprise outings, or romantic gestures for a man? It's the one-sided gender role nature of this expectation a lot of us are tired of, particularly at the casual dating phase. It feels like you're being used for ego validation rather than a genuine connection. Other than that I basically agree with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 10:47 PM
0

Relationships are how most women have sex as well. Nobody's denying it's an important part of a relationship, however, some people would rather wait to gauge compatibility and for some kind of emotional connection first. I don't know why men here aggressively insist women not sleeping with them by the third date is some sort of terrible slight. This is just not how many - probably most - people operate.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:20 AM
2

Not the same as only viewing a relationship as merely a means to that end and nothing else.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:10 AM
0

I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually agree with most of it. If you’re fine with waiting, who cares if she had hookups in the past and changed her mind now? - except this part. You can't switch up and decide you want a gradually developing emotional connection after years of hookups and think the other party isn't going to have an opinion. If these are your past decisions then you've already filtered out socially conservative men who are typically keen on waiting. Chances are men you'll…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:01 AM
1

Interesting how you think being short - and not that short by the looks of him - automatically makes a man bottom 20% She compromising by not dating 6ft + Chad. While he's compromising by paying for another man's kids while not being able to have his own kids, while she already has her own. It's not in the same universe as far as compromising goes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 03:12 PM
1

...yea, I only have an inkling of what's meant by this. Guessing you mean fear of having how undesirable I am confirmed through actually trying. But the problem is the incentives just aren't there at this age, whatever the outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 11:03 AM
-1

If they're actually into the hobby? Sure, why not. Not if they're just there looking for attention and Instagram followers from groups of "desperate losers." Most of the nerd hobby groups I've been to weren't male-dominated anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:02 PM
1

Peak SMV only applies to men who had decent options when they were younger. Most men don't. Those guys probably think women your age have lower standards and they have a better shot.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 11:55 PM
4

It's the fear of being labelled something and the online narrative that has been going on for 10 + years now.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 10:50 PM
8

Older men weren't shouted down, labelled toxic, predatory, or told that just saying hello to someone and attempting a conversation requires consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 10:43 PM
8

Like someone else said, the 'rules' around approaching and dating have changed. Approaching strange women in bars would be looked down on and risk being thrown out, whereas for Gen X/older millenials it was normal. Young men these days have been receiving negative messaging since adolescence: don't approach/bother women in just about any circumstances you can imagine etc. It's always unwelcome etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 10:30 PM
24

No offence but you're not in your 20s right now...daily talking to dozens of dudes over snapchat or the apps is different from getting odd follow-up text or email.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 10:02 PM
31

The amount of attention and ease of getting it would be very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 09:34 PM
–

Which society? It is just about universal for men to initiate and propose, across culture and time period, with only an few examples where women have done this. That's evidence for it being part of innate predisposition (women engage in sexual selection for assertive men as they make for better providers)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 11:44 AM
1

It's fairly common to hear idiotic red pill advice to young men that goes along the lines of 'wait until you're established in your 30s (or even 40s) and date a much younger woman.' It isn't just the quality of person men would be attracting in such circumstances. Who wants to be in their first serious relationship when they're aging, hormones are declining, anhedonia/depression happens, nothing feels 'new' and further physical/mental decline is just around the corner? That's ignoring how diffic…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 07:09 AM
1

Ironic considering your tag, because it is fairly common to hear red pill advice that goes along the lines of "wait until you're established in your 30s (or even 40s) and date a much younger woman" It isn't just the quality of the person you would be attracting in such circumstances, but your own state. Who wants to in their first serious relationship when they're aging, when testosterone is declining, anhedonia/depression are more likely and further physical/mental decline is just around the co…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 06:49 AM
6

'Barely legal' is 18-19.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 06:28 AM
1

To be honest, and this'll be downvoted, I have trouble finding women my own age attractive now. Still picturing women in their twenties or early thirties as a first gf. Normally experienced women this age often make me uncomfortable, the physical attraction side of it often isn't there because a lot of people have let themselves go or look like they're in their 50s - but even when it is there the decades-difference in experience between us would be extremely off-putting, assuming it even got to …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:15 PM
1

Going to take a wild guess here that 'they' means men, and 'partner' means women men are dating (or trying to date).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 11:40 AM
1

The average man is taller than the average woman so no-one would argue that. That isn't a motte and bailey fallacy anyway. Motte and Bailey would be claiming women only date 6 foot + athletes (the extreme argument) then justifying it with the fact that women typically prefer men who are taller than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 12:51 AM
2

A lot of men who whine about this are usually asocial. Don't approach because a no from a stranger is suddenly an indicator of their worth. We don't approach, particularly not strangers, because most of us aren't idiots who lack self-awareness. Inexperienced men would be hyper-sensitive to rejection, because unlike most people, there are no positive experiences in their backgrounds to counter-balance the negative. This is also coming a group who typically don't have to approach in order to date.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 11:48 PM
17

For a well-adjusted individual with positive experiences and a friend circle, sure. For someone like me, gaming was like a drug. It was all I did. When others my age where out with friends, on their OE’s, or getting serious about their careers, I was obsessed with the next RPG. Now paying the price for these decisions.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 10:09 PM
2

Correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 09:29 PM
14

... the Norman Bates/Travis Bickle archetype.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 11:38 AM
13

....Honestly you should hate being that guy because this advice is tedious and shows an almost baffling lack of understanding of what it's like to be undesirable. Aren't Medellin and Pattaya notorious pedophile destinations? I wouldn't even want to be seen there.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 03:52 AM
51

Average height. White. Drink socially but much less these days. In shape. Run and 'lift' at about intermediate level for my height/weight. Started balding young at 14-15. To cope with the bullying/isolation I became a loser gamer. Outside of university courses I didn't do much beyond game. Single mother fell terminally ill in my 20s and I had to take a dead-end job to cover the bills, By the time that was over I was mid-late thirties and it was way too late to start dating. In many ways it's lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 11:44 PM
60

As a 46 yo virgin, no exaggeration, men in this situation may as well be on the sex offender register as far as many women are concerned. Men are still expected to be the active party with dating/romance. It's a mix of socialization and evolved predisposition. A man's inability to form a romantic connection by a certain age is going to imply a lot more negatives about him than the gender reverse. (Particularly as the gender reverse usually involves being single/inexperienced by choice.)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 09:17 PM
1

Unfounded generalizations aren't reality. If you want to generalize about how entire groups behave then be prepared to back that up with valid data.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:40 PM
1

The average American women's BMI is around 30. There is no mystery here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:27 PM
1

Still want the ego-satisfaction of rejecting them. Or maybe because the average American woman has a BMI of 27 and is nowhere near as desirable as they like to make out.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:08 PM
3

Sex with who, the average overweight/obese American woman? If we're talking about Italian or Japanese men in their home countries where people are generally still healthy/attractive even into their 50s, 'LBH' would be on point. In North America/UK it's beyond laughable.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 10:01 AM
2

then what do you attribute the obvious gap in motivation to? Existing social norms. Most women know they don't need to approach to have options. Most men know they will need to approach or end up alone for life. Less physical attraction from women's end but that's often overstated (women don't date men they're physically repulsed by just because they approached them with decent conversation skills). Ultimately most people would rather avoid rejection if they could and women have the option to av…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 08:24 AM
5

I acknowledge that men shoulder it because they want something from women in a way that women don't. Desperation and horniness isn't some blanket explanation for all male-female dynamics. Obviously some men approach women for that reason. On the other hand 45% of Gen Z men have never approached a woman in real life, so they can't be that horny. The majority of young men and women still want relationships and the stats bear this out. Within the 18-29 yo age range the % of men vs women who are sin…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 07:53 AM
8

So you expect men to accept and deal with what you wouldn't i.e. a dynamic where they feel less valued plus the possibility of being used for attention/resources by someone without a genuine interest in them. I'm doing is so aberrant amongst women that they assume I'm promiscuous, desperate for them, or "low value" in some other way. This is only the case because of women's widespread refusal to buck this particular social norm and deal with their share of rejection, despite 50+ years of mainstr…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 07:03 AM
25

Lots of men are giving up on dating because the fear of rejection being creep shamed and humiliated is too high. Fixed. Most of us can deal with the rejection part like adults. It's the other stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 06:54 AM
2

The nature of the criteria is relevant when there aren't an equivalent men could ask (without it being deemed inappropriate). That means you can filter in a way we can't.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 04:42 AM
2

You know very well that men expressing such preferences unprompted would be labelled creeps. He means reducing people down to superficial criteria. but treat men like a bunch of numbers? Your superficial criteria flies under the radar of public scrutiny/condemnation, whereas ours certainly don't, so these women are riding on a double standard to ask the kind of questions any self-aware man wouldn't dream of asking.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 03:34 AM
0

...Which is why I qualifed that with socially acceptable. Men who ask for nudes are universally judged as creeps.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 02:34 AM
8

Weight N count Cup size Etc. These are also filters. Just not the socially acceptable kind. Imagine asking a woman for nudes or gym pics. FFS women write weather report length rants about this kind of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 01:23 AM
2

The main value red pill has is that it doesn't feed men lies as to the nature of attraction and some of the advice - gym/fitness, dress, status- falls under what (should be) common sense. In other words it's value is that it's not blue pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 01:09 AM
0

If this is all anecdotal, not based on probability, then it would be extremely inappropriate and unprofessional to be traumatizing patients like this needlessly. Sounds lke a lot of online fuelled horseshit tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 10:47 AM
6

It is a major misunderstanding of reality to think red pill makes otherwise attractive men unappealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 10:01 AM
1

Both parties have an underlying drive to reproduce, which is the ultimate goal. The male pursuing filters for certain traits that women value more in a partner than vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:17 AM
4

Yea because his desirability is judged in part by his economic status and ability of pay for an appealing lifestyle. Women who consider 50:50 and cheap dates an insult dgaf if "everyone's struggling."
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 02:12 AM
1

He's "bitching" about the lack of time and disposability in a practicalities sort of way. I don't see the problem. Maybe you're first inclination is to recoil because men complaining pings off those disgust responses in women's brains, but it doesn't automatically make the complaint invalid. He whines at the end about how “you fucked the economy and you got all the benefit”, Unlike women who are struggling, his eligibility is partly judged by his economic status and ability to provide. Think of …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 02:10 AM
1

What men usually find worth of shame is women who go through partners like a change of underwear in their 20s then expect a kind, loyal, devoted high value partner to just appear for them when they're 35+ then whinging when it doesn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 01:30 AM
1

For a very long time, it was primarily what kind of person you were (whether you were kind, whether you did your job, whether you showed empathy), This assumes kindness and conformity were the most valued traits when humans lived in small groups, whereas we could as easily argue that aggression, dominance and selfishness would lead to the greatest effectiveness for provision and reproductive success. Male social arrangements tend towards hierarchy, after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 11:48 PM
–

Why must everything outside of norms be a fetish?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 10:32 AM
1

Grow up. Running to the mods because of your hurt ego is childish. Since when are incel or red pill derogatory comments regarding women censored here? It might be a rule but it's hardly ever enforced. If you can't hack the full range of answers then don't ask the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 10:03 AM
1

I suppose this is breaking sub rules by nowt adding anything new, but this 100%. OP these spaces are about as representative of the general population as a bizarre cult is of organized religion. People satisfied with their lives do not post here.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 09:53 AM
1

The Romans/Greeks (Spartans) also normalized pederastic relationships and encouraged homosexuality as a form of male bonding in the military. Aberrant social norms don't say much about our evolved predispositions.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:41 AM
1

Those beliefs didn't originate in a modern western context. They're found across cultures since recorded history.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:49 PM
1

You could make that argument about any preference or even orientation itself. Women have more at stake so it makes sense their innate preferences would be narrower.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:22 PM
-1

Innate is biological/genetic. Perhaps the thought of them engaging in gay sex is emasculating. Not sure why anyone needs to change this perception or force themselves to overcome it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:34 PM
3

Possibly because they ARE less desirable/attractive or perceived as less masculine to straight women at the innate level.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:12 PM
1

It’s a mundane predisposition less desired groups across-the-board fall into: lash out and shame others into being sexually available. So overweight people claim anyone who won’t date them is fatphobic. And basement dwelling losers who refuse to clean themselves up and get in the gym like to claim women only date genetically superior Chads (Unfair!) Why should I think you’re any different? That's how it reads. "Lesbian porn" is one of the most researched categories. That’s porn; voyeurism. But p…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:50 PM
1

Labeling something phobic isn't an argument. What are they 'phobic' of? Clearly it isn't gay male sex if they're also gay. Heterophobia? Perhaps people are more comfortable with a partner who's orientation aligns with theirs. BTW This is the reasoning of incels - date me or you're a bigot/all-round terrible person - it's automatically suss since you're part of group that stands to benefit if people are convinced to "re-assess" their so-called prejudice. It's worse in a way because you're hiding …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:01 PM
1

Not being comfortable with a partner who engaged in gay sex in the past. Because it's alien to our owm orientation. You realize a many gay people don't date bi, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 08:03 PM
1

Because trad dating norms will filter out the right-wing religious guys (?) Neurosis is the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 07:23 PM
1

It's well known that gay is icky but lesbians are "totally hot bro" As said, I don't share that perception. I'm straight and want a straight woman. Plenty of gay people wouldn't date bi either. Are you going to accuse them of homophobia? Or is it biphobia this time? Source here. This is really gross that you would think I'm doing this. Like seriously wtf. It takes a twisted mind just to come up with that. It's obvious and most people would see it as such. You want to control people's preferences…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:28 AM
-1

Ask yourself why the stigma is specific to bi men, not women. While I can only speak for myself, I'd anticipate plenty of men would prefer women who are exclusively interested in men. Yeah there is something wrong, it's prejudiced and false. Says you. That isn't an argument. As I've repeatedly said before, i am absolutely not interested in homophobic people. I'll still call it out for what it is. The fact that you think I'm doing this says more about you than it says about me. You're trying to p…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:55 AM
1

Coffee, lunch, or a walk etc. are frequently suggested as a 'pred-date' to quickly gauge compatibility without the time/expense/awkwardness of a full-blown dinner date. Plenty of people do that. So you'll just end discounting large numbers of mostly non-red pilled men because of your own paranoia about red pill. But if you want to cut your options down right from the get-go like that, by all means.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:42 AM
0

1.Various definitions include either irrational fear of or prejudice. Being disgusted by or uncomfortable at the thought of gay sex isn't prejudice. It is simply a reaction to a form of sexuality that is alien to someone who is not gay/bi. Gay people could also feel disgust at straight sex. That doesn't make them prejudice/hateful towards hetero people. It's a silly argument to equate turn-offs with hatred. As said, forms of sexual intercourse that aren't in-line with our orientations tend to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:28 AM
-5

Turn-off =/= phobia.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 07:06 AM
2

What % of men are red pill or have even heard that term? It sounds like you want guys to pay for bad first dates because your time is worth more than theirs.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 02:22 AM
2

By not having sex early on.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 12:08 AM
1

Gross dude...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 10:21 PM
6

'I'm not traditional but I expect men to pay for expensive dinner dates.' Comedy gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 10:15 PM
2

Right. Half of the high earning primary breadwinner women in relationships contribute less than half of household expenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 10:09 PM
–

Replace dynamic with hypocritical or 'lacking principles' I can't believe yours is the top upvoted post but I suppose that's women here...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 09:49 PM
2

This. It's a socially acceptable way of saying they want a high earning provider and would be willing to hand over the reins if it came to it. I can't blame them for it particularly if they want kids. Cost of living is ridiculous now. Boomers and Gen X really fucked young people over.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 07:37 AM
2

He's didn't say she wasn't engaging in conversation, as in sitting there saying nothing, but he had to lead it. Pushing it along. Change the topic etc. That's average male experience. And obviously autistic men are going to suck at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 03:39 PM
1

It's a social norm for men to carry conversation in the early dating phase. People internalize and conform without consciously being aware of it. But yes everything is explained by men being thirsty dogs. That all you have? People want relationships so they'll put up with a certain amount of BS to get them. In a gender context that means men will put up with passivity, and women will put up with the potential threat to their safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 03:10 PM
1

The real answer. These kinds of men disgust or irritate them, even though they're completely harmless (or perhaps because of it).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 02:34 PM
-1

Autistic women are 3 times as likely to have partners as autistic men. Source Of the individuals with ASD, significantly more women (n=18; 46.2%) than men (n=9; 16.1%) were currently in a relationship (P<0.01)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 02:27 PM
1

If you're arguing men in blue collar work are less likely to help out at home I'm going to assume that's probably code for 'I want a lawyer/doctor/blah blah' rather than coming out and saying it (since it sounds picky and elitist). Have whatever preferences you like but don't need to stereotype about working class men in the process. And calling women who choose the homemaker type life 'bangmaids' is pretty gross. Some women actually want to be stay at home mothers. JFC what is wrong with some p…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 01:34 PM
3

Shitty careers? Oh boy. Somebody has to do those jobs, right. Make the standard of living we take for granted possible. I mean you don't have to date them, but maybe have some respect at least. I believe less and less women will be interested in men who have blue collar jobs. There just aren't going to be enough white collar professionals to go around I'm afraid, so it's not going to work in the aggregate for them. And the trades pay rather well, better than mid level office jobs, so I actually …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 12:47 PM
2

The stats don't bear that out. (Happier doesn't mean happy.) The majority of 18-29 yo women are still interested in dating. They don't approach because they know they don't need to and don't want to deal with the rejection. Letting men approach also filters for masculine qualities they generally find appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 11:44 AM
3

Shy women can rely on men to do the approaching just like other women can. (Assuming they're not extremely unattractive and still leave the house to socialize occasionally.) Shy women generally get support from other women. Shy men on the other hand are often relentlessly bullied by other boys/men from adolescence on, and judged as creepy losers by women. There's no equivalence.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 11:12 AM
1

Yes, easier to hide behind a dated social norm that allows you to be a passive coward while judging men as non-persons for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 10:16 AM
1

The social norm is for men to approach. Women choose not to approach because they don't need to, plus it filters to men who have confidence, since it's an attractive trait in men. Most young people are still interested in relationships. Neither gender is widespread opting out. That's cope bitter people use to lash out at the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 10:08 AM
10

Mostly it's a mundane bullying or adolescent humiliation problem. Something endured in adolescence that continues to manifest in adult life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 10:02 AM
10

So these men are working all day at strenuous jobs but they don't make very much because their wives have to work and do double the childcare and chores. Go and get an education like the women did and get a better job. Ugly classist comment. Who's bringing electricity/water/broadband to your home while making sure waste is cleanly disposed of, if not men? Certainly not women. Also, women are making at least half the family income. No they're not. Women might be in charge of household expenditure…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 07:25 AM
10

"Egalitarian" could include a 60/40 split in finances with men more often earning more. Bundling egalitarian in with sole/primary female breadwinner shows you shouldn't be trusted to interpret anything honestly. Physically demanding paid work is more stressful than housework or childcare and men do the great majority of that. Men are the majority of labourers, women are the majority of clerical and admin workers. Source Breaking it down by industry: Construction, mining, manufacturing, agricultu…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 04:39 AM
12

Collective blame to invalidate individual victims only adds weight to OP's point. You just hate men, and probably for reasons unrelated to anything mentioned here. Another commenter debunked your misuse of statistics regarding division of labour on another thread but here you are repeating the same BS.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 12:34 AM
10

They'd be labelled MRAs or incels. The reaction to Scott Galloway is a good example: His framing of male issues couldn't be more inoffensive and in-line with feminism yet he still gets hate as the "next Jordan Peterson." He can deal with that being a millionaire, but it would be social and career suicide for an average man to stick his oar in with any contemporary men's movement.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:49 PM
1

Agree. We live in an oligarchy where the oligarchs are still mostly white men, yeah, but without that being the defining characteristic. The solution is of course just bog-standard 'leftist' politics i.e. a genuine labour movement for the working and lower middle class. Unfortunately, in the US in particular, the so-called left has been swamped with privileged women who are actively hostile to any issue that don't place women front-row-center as victim class, making certain young men - who are, …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:31 PM
14

It isn't just ingroup bias. Both men and women have less empathy for men and there's plenty of research confirming it. We intuitively know this, thus men are right to be wary of seeking help and should be aware that their experiences might be turned against them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 10:55 PM
1

Clearly, we're in different parts of the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 06:19 AM
2

It is shamed. Older men get labelled creeps if they even look at twenty somethings nowadays (while women are still free to prefer masculine men and nobody takes issue) But there's a difference between what we're initially attracted to and what we base a relationship on. If we followed this kind of thinking through men would be justified leaving their wives when they gained weight and aged. Would you expect other women to be happy with that? Would you? But you think we should be happy was ATMs.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 06:00 AM
1

You're admitting you aren't attracted to men at the physical or emotional level. And BTW you're the one who labelled anything outside of this arrangement "disgusting" so who's being emotional? The circumstances in which this is understandable would be those where women have to rely on men economically. Otherwise it is just treating others as utilities and nobody wants to be a utility figure i.e. valued purely for what they provide and nothing else. Apparently this point is too far over your head…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:35 AM
2

If you believe men have nothing to offer besides provision and still want to be provided for then prostitution is the closest descriptive for that kind of exchange. And why would I want to answer a dumbass question based on an absurd premise? Most people want a partner who sees them as fully human, not a utility figure for either sex-on-demand or financial support.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:07 AM
-2

As if the thing that makes romantic relationships distinct from roomates/friends is not the nature of the relationship itself but this providing-for-women-to-be-with-them transaction aspect. You know there's another word for that, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 03:41 AM
–

If you want your partner to think of you as a generous person you need to be generous TO THEM it’s not that complicated A moral individual would be giving money to people who actually needed it not trying to buy the "love" of sociopathic women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:33 AM
–

Separate from that, imo it's extremely hard for someone to be so unattractive that nobody will ever like them as long as they're putting effort into their hygiene and appearance. Disagree. Baldness can completely destroy a man's appearance. Not everyone has the head for that. Men's body fat % needs to be in a narrow range. Adequate muscle development takes years of effort. And some people's facial structures aren't appealing and arguably there is more variation in men (similar to how there's mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 12:07 AM
–

He's not meaning 'cute' (to some women) sort of guys with a quirky mix of attractive and less attractive features. But actually unattractive men, who would probably also lack the masculine qualities about themselves (confidence, assertiveness) and not have the status to compensate. It's fairly obvious that an attraction threshold needs to be met before good character qualities count.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:46 PM
–

Lol. Paying for dates is vastly different from supporting children, which you are legally and morally obligated to do as a guardian.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:28 PM
19

"Generous" Rolls eyes How many women do you think would meet aĺl or most of these criteria? Or is it a case of 'I am the table, sweetie, tee-hee' separate standard? We're all subject to in-group bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 11:40 PM
1

I was in high school in the 90s and most people weren't even dating, so that sounds like exaggeration or small town situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 10:29 AM
2

Most people need to be physically attracted to a partner at some minimal level, so improving that should just be common sense. A main principle of TRP is of course that men and women want/are attracted to different things in one another. Even decidedly non-red pill sources (Macken Murphy for eg.) agree with this. Garden variety misogynists have no trouble dating. Feeding men nice-sounding illusions is arguably more harmful and likely to result in bitterness.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:05 PM
1

More to with grooming /s
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 10:08 AM
9

Why - so I can have physical intercourse with a woman who finds me disgusting? Can do without that experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:25 AM
2

Red Pill isn't as logically coherent or rigid as that and plenty of people take elements from it without buying into the zero sum game deal. Merely pointing out that men can improve themselves through general adherence to masculine behavior could improve the dating lives of most men who applied the advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 07:39 AM
6

Why weren't young women taking cues from the older generations 20 or 30 years ago when they had similar legal and social freedoms to now? Why so long to get to this point? They're not doing that now either. This is a mainly a phenomenon from the permanently online. Most young people still have a desire to get into relationships. The rate of single and not looking isn't that different with young men and women (33% vs 39%) and even then, economics have a lot to do with that. People who can barely …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 12:41 AM
13

As a 46 year old virgin male, genuinely foreveralone women should at least be relatable, the other type of course could never be. But unlike with lonely men, they're often bundled together with single-by-choice women in popular discourse, and they also tend to use similar rhetoric as a way to deal with their anger/loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 08:57 PM
11

Or wouldn't be on a dating/relationship themed subreddit in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 08:39 PM
1

How would this work with divorce without shared custody?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 06:53 AM
1

Agreed. As a man it's easy to get indignant about how unfair that is to socially awkward men, when similarly inhibited women have an easier time finding partners. But fairness has no impact on men and women's (differing) preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 11:03 PM
2

You can't infer that every allegation - unfounded/non prosecutable and even prosecuted is good faith because they haven't been been proven not to be, just like you can't infer that the only valid rape allegations are those that result in a prosecution. We don't know the actual figure. And a false allegation made in good faith still wrecks the life of the accused. That is something men would have a legitimate fear of, assuming the figure is a high as 10%
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 11:20 AM
1

Malicious intent can't be proven but we can reasonably assume it in certain situations. Someone who genuinely thought they were the victim of rape wouldn't make up or change their account.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 10:24 AM
1

The research makes the distinction between "false" and "could not be proven." Whether "false" means malicious is another thing again, but it's implied that it does: Applying International Association of Chiefs of Police (IACP) guidelines, a case was classified as a false report if there was evidence that a thorough investigation was pursued and that the investigation had yielded evidence that the reported sexual assault had in fact not occurred. A thorough investigation would involve, potentiall…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 01:22 AM
2

2- 10 % of allegations are thought to be malicious (significantly higher than false reporting of other crimes if we take a middle figure on that). A significant % aren't malicious but don't meet the legal definition of rape. That's in the US where affirmative consent is law. While it's true the vast majority of allegations aren't malicious the number of false allegations isn't likely to be a vanishingly small figure either.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 12:45 AM
1

It isn't odd when you realize much of the established online spaces are dominated by older age groups, in particular millenial and gen x age women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 03:42 AM
0

And really in all cases, it always seems to be men who bring it up first. It’s always “Why are women against age gap relationships?” very rarely “I’m a woman and here’s why I’m against age gap relationships.” This is laughably inaccurate. There are comments judging older male age gaps pretty much everywhere online. Any tabloid piece with an older male celeb dating a younger woman is full of it. For eg. stories covering Brad Pitt's new gf (who is pushing middle age herself). Twoxchromosomes and o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 01:44 AM
1

That's what people don't get. You still have to look decent no matter your age. 'Resources' aren't going to compensate for a cave troll appearance. That said, assuming he takes care of himself, youth is generally less of a factor to men's physical attractiveness than it is to women (until about 50 at least) -and this this why the older male/younger female dynamic angers a lot of older women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 01:34 AM
12

It make sense when you realize a lot of this is driven by gut-level disgust. In the rare couple of instances where women I knew developed unreciprocated feelings, I simply avoided them. One of them kept on messaging me with 'hi how are you' and 'friendly' invites for 2 years straight. The other flat out stopped talking to me once it was clear I wasn't interested. I knew they were acting that way because they wanted more than friendship (normal flawed human behaviour), and sure it was annoying, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 09:51 PM
43

9 times out of 10 'nice guy' is just a strawman to attack unmasculine awkward guys who aren't direct (or men who hold on to unreciprocated feelings which is generally viewed with disgust as well). Yes, entitled men who get nasty in response to rejection exist, but nowhere near the extent women on spaces like this claim. Meanwhile nice girls who display the same 'hovering' friendly, doing favors type behaviour aren't just validated, they're victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 09:01 PM
4

People in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 06:28 AM
11

You mean benevolent sexism. Which isn't really sexism in this case, since offering to carry things for someone physically weaker and doing favours for an SO is normal behaviour. What OP identifies as "toxic" isn't particularly toxic either.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 06:14 AM
1

Okay but who on God's Earth would imagine their first partner as being that old? Certainly not the average female poster here who dated in their 20s. Happy and fulfilling - if you're capable of meeting a purity bar almost nobody has to meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:56 PM
16

Women aren't self-deleting at 4x the rate of men. Who do you think receives more empathy, generally?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:34 AM
31

"no you are"
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:23 AM
1

Comment I was responding to was suggesting people should be happy waiting until 50 to find an SO.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:17 AM
4

Ahh okay. This is satirizing red pillers who post here about 'separate rules for Chad and Billy Beta' or some such. At least let's hope it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:03 AM
2

Some of us don't want to be treated like a utility figure. That goes regardless of how attractive someone is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 09:56 AM
2

And yet a quick look at your post history shows that you have BDSM type sex with men. How does that work? No principles?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 05:28 AM
0

Someone's bitter. Women over 20 are women. Biologically speaking they're fully adult and psychologically they're developed enough to not pass as "children" unless they're horribly immature for their ages (whatever the ethics of an age gap). Fact is most men are most attracted to twenty-somethings no matter how old they are. Scream about it but it comes across as saltiness from older women beginning to experience invisibility (welcome to the club btw - this is average male experience)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 05:22 AM
1

"Supposed to" presupposes some sort of designed intent, which... What? It's an informal way of saying what we're adapted for as a species (along with other mammals). And when you look at the life stages of human beings it's obvious we are 'meant' - from an evolutionary perspective - to be pairing up in the first half of adult life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 01:45 AM
–

And if your delusion helps you cope, then continue. Some of us has been invisible all our lives (and dealt with it without trying to attraction police others).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:49 PM
-2

Because it isn’t socially acceptable. They’d be labelled creeps. It would be very unlikely to happen. The huge hassle to convince her family etc. Even then they would probably find a 20 year old annoying. However, if they could date 25-30-year-old's (which is still unlikely) in preference to a 40-year-old woman they probably would. And none of this changes the fact that appearances and lifestyles are on sharp decline past 40. Who wants to start a first relationship when everyone’s tired and over…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:30 PM
5

The data shows men staying most physically attracted to women in their 20s, so that's "normal" regardless of how you feel about it. As to what we're still capable of finding attractive at a later age, arguably there's an upper limit on that, even for women. (Most of the single men in my age group are broken down slobs and I couldn't care less if women my age wanted to date younger men.) We're supposed to be young or young-ish, healthy and full of life and energy when we pair up, then age togethe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:12 PM
4

Of course there is. Most people aren't attractive or energetic/fun at 50. Just because it's possible doesn't mean we should want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:31 PM
4

A. The social norms for people to marry early applied to both genders (but women had to economically depend on a husband) B. The vast majority of men have never been able to "procure" young hot trophy wives. People paired up by mid twenties with someone of similar age/background/looks. C. You're not a mind reader- least of all for averagely situated men 80+ years ago. (They probably would have had enough sense to realize that living with someone who hates them isn't going to be a happy existence…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:24 PM
3

The older-adult virginity rate is still only about 1%.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 09:28 PM
1

JFC. A human being isn't an "unpleasant side-effect." Nobody has a right to consequence-free sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 08:15 AM
1

Most people would informally refer to a full term fetus/unborn child as a baby because developmentally it is indistinguishable from a newborn. There's nothing about particular about birth that grants person status. That would literally mean it 'becomes' a person at that moment of birth which is absurd. It's just an arbitrary point used so you can conveniently ignore the ethical implications of abortion. And since the vast of majority pregnancies aren't the result of rape, you can outright avoid …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 07:22 AM
-1

Killing a baby shortly before it's born, for no other reason than being unwanted, is grotesque, and probably a majority of doctors would not want to be involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 05:40 AM
-1

A fetus should have their lungs well developed enough to be able to live outside the uterus at the 6.5-7 mo mark. Even then, as long as it’s in utero I would not call it a person yet. You still need a succesul birth for that to happen. Thank you for pointing out the flaws in the argument, because if the only distinction here is inconvenience to the mother who has to carry and birth the child, then you're defining human status based on feelings towards that baby (i.e. whether it's wanted or not),…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 12:29 AM
0

So 10 minutes before it's born it has no human rights? The law in countries where abortion on demand is legal still wouldn't agree with that. And people on life support/ventilators should probably be worried then if 'live unassisted' were the basis for ignoring their human status. You don't actually care whether it counts as a person or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 12:06 AM
1

But that explains why there's a so-called dating crisis for people in their 20s. Women in their 20s are out-earning men, or men might be earning decent money but doing blue collar work and women don't to date down at the class level. So either they date older (and there aren't enough successfull single 30 something men to go around) or remain single. It should be called hypergamy crisis.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 10:04 PM
2

Even at the top of this thread... One post out of 140. This is the reaction lonely men receive everywhere, not just spaces like this. Make your posts public... ...You first.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 03:04 PM
7

Twisting this around. It's a reaction to women not wanting to 'date down.' Why invest time with someone you have no future with?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 10:39 AM
1

Stop twisting this around. They know earning less than a woman makes them less desirable to her. It's women not wanting to 'date down' as opposed to men being insecure about dating up. Why invest time with someone you have no future with?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 10:39 AM
1

if mainly men have to initiate it becomes easy to say men are the creeps, harass and so on while womens toxic behavior gets hidden or ignored... It's the main difference. We don't see their "toxic" preferences, because they aren't expected to act on them and ask men out.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 06:46 AM
11

Men who are complaining about being single get called misogynistic because they say misogynistic things. Not because they're single. Yea no. Single men who can't date are frequently labelled misogynistic or told they have crap personalities or bad attitudes. That's pretty much the go-to criticism.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 04:55 AM
–

Are you kidding?? Whenever men my age admit to noticing twenty somethings, hell even sometimes late twenty/early thirty somethings, it is usually followed by people labelling it predatory, "gross" (or worse). We're expected to find plus-size or even morbid obesity appealing or else we're fatphobes. If we prefer other ethnic groups, we're fetishizing them; If we're white-European decent and prefer that group, then we're white supremacist. No physical preferences escape criticism if you're a strai…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 04:31 AM
–

No. Paying for the first few dates is fine. Beyond that it just feels like a transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 08:29 AM
2

I mean, you're comparing something that infringes on the rights of all reproductive age women at all times, to something else that would infringe on the rights of men in time of war, and then for a limited time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 06:03 AM
2

The obvious counter to this is that men most men will never be conscripted.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 05:25 AM
1

Or it's just a obvious counter-point to the feminist argument that society is somehow engineered for men's benefit at the expense of women (in reality it's the wealthy who happen to be mostly men, not men)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 05:17 AM
6

This isn't sex positivity. She's mentally ill with a desperate need to shock and get attention by any means.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 10:42 AM
1

If you acted on those crushes nobody would take issue. They're more likely to label the man an arsehole in that case for ignoring you're "genuine feelings" (which are totally not selfish feelings because the superior gender is feeling them). Men get raked over the coals for merely admitting a crush.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 11:24 PM
1

Meaningful sexual relationships. Ahem.. yes, it's just so very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 07:56 AM
4

Women hovering around and behaving as a friend might towards a man they're attracted to is commonplace behaviour - it's probably the majority who behave passively like this. So in a sense this is judging men for behaving like women often do. I get it if someone spends months, or years weaseling their way into being a close confidant just to be in closer proximity - but the idea men have to act within a small window of time or else they're manipulative is obnoxious when it's coming from women who…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 07:25 AM
2

At least half the women posting here. People remain virgins because they're unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 05:37 AM
2

So according to PPD women, casual sex is both harmful to women while somehow still useful empowerment to protect against abusers who target the inexperienced. but it’s just misogynistic to have one gender expected to behave a certain way but it’s ok for the other Agreed, but let's not pretend a virgin man stating this preference wouldn't be labelled misogynistic as well. And this is why the male loneliness will continue, and more young men will find themselves unable to get into relationships Wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 05:26 AM
2

Sure it's infrequent because of both cultural norms and because women just infrequently out earn men. Women already out-earn men in several major cities across the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 01:17 AM
2

Women are "dating down" more than they ever have in any other time in history. Which is to say still infrequently, at least when you mean dating outside of socioeconomic class. Similar income isn't "dating down" and this is about more than income. How many college grad women here would rather sleep on a bed of nails than date a blue collar working class male? Think about how often they frame that as a problem with not enough "eligible" (i,e. college educated professional) men in the media, how m…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 12:03 AM
0

Convenient, considering the continued social norm for men to ask first and continue initiating and planning dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:44 PM
1

'Romance' doesn't require submission. Men don't want to date aggressive boss babes because they're often arrogant ,sanctimonious and unpleasant to be around in a general sense (as are men with these traits), and relationships are based on vulnerability, not 'muh needs' and lists of criteria.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:34 PM
6

Sort of agree. There's a difference between playing off foreigner novelty while offering a lifestyle upgrade, and outright exploitation. But as long as this isn't someone living in poverty (and admittedly it often is) then I don't see the issue. And wealthy men in the west date middle-class women all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 07:15 PM
2

Well if we wanted to use statistics, then someone may as well point out that 25-35% of regular porn consumers (including violent porn) are female, up to 40% of student sexual abuse involves female perpetrators according to some studies, along with the fact men work longer hours on average and longer still if they're the breadwinner. Men are also largely responsible for you (we) having the privilege of running water, electricity and broadband supplied to our homes while our poop is cleanly flushe…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 05:54 AM
1

We don't want 'trade the so-called pros' of being a man (i.e. being viewed as a success object and totally invisible in the absence of that) because we could not imagine being attracted to men in the first place. Which is why these 'would be a man/woman' scenarios are stupid. You actually have to have the desires of the opposite sex first to want whatever benefits come from swapping genders. And most people care about sex/dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 04:06 AM
1

Wait... what, this is the most upvoted comment... on this sub? I thought we all lived in some privileged dreamworld where opportunities appear on a silver and compliant women wait on us hand and foot? Society is made for us isn't it?? Not shit it's lonely. That's normal, but it's not the worst part of it by a long way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 12:52 AM
3

Really? You could not pay me enough to date the average overweight 40 something woman and become her punching bag for her issues with her exes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 08:00 AM
2

We're not The Borg. Making men individually responsible for a minority isn't illuminating of anything, it's just a tired collective blame argument that gets spammed to justify contempt when men "whine" and display unmasculine behaviours. And people have innate (i.e. evolved) biases towards women. So the only contact men have with children, when they aren't ignoring them to watch sports and play video games, is when they're sexually assaulting them. Unhinged. Plenty of decent fathers. Anything th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 01:40 AM
5

Lol at this deranged copypasta. Women do not volunteer at vastly higher rates than men (29% vs 23% in the US, higher and closer to equal in other countries). Now factor in the reality that men are going to be reticent about volunteering with anything involving children. Fact is the majority of young women aren't contributing to or engaging with community any more than young men, and are suffering from a loneliness crisis too according to every metric.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 12:43 AM
1

Make a habit of hanging around high schools? (Should someone inform the authorities?) Bullying has been a fact of male-male interaction since forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 12:23 AM
1

Of course they do, because you're not deemed a threat. You don't move through life as man so your opinion is void.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 12:20 AM
5

That's female privilege speaking. You might get away with talking to strangers in public; most men would know they'd be labelled creeps or weirdoes if they tried it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 10:49 PM
5

Half of those are irregular or one-off events. JFC. Do you want to be approached and talked to by strangers at a fair? In a park? At a concert?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:24 PM
4

I've been going to meetup events for about 8 years now. Attendance rates plummeted after the last lockdown. Most of the social events have half the numbers even compared to just 3 years ago. The photography/hobby groups are dead. All the active book clubs and about half the hiking groups are female only (eeww gross losers might hit on us...) This is in a city of 2 million btw. Meetups are a revolving door of people on temporary work visas or people networking for career connections you never see…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:00 PM
1

They've been told not to. Particularly if there's **gasp** evil ulterior motives involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 06:01 AM
6

...Nah you're just playing into their narrative that men are dumb animals worshipping at the temple of poon. The reason a lot of men don't try is because they were bullied within an inch of their lives during their teens. Humiliated if they tried to talk to girls. Insulted, degraded, mocked by other guys and would prefer to stay in their safe spaces now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 05:32 AM
22

More people are lonelier today than 20 year's ago but dwindling third spaces and lower participation in group activities - team sports for eg - hits men more as male friendships are usually context-based Always being the one to initiate, send invites, etc. starts to look desperate after a while Online friendships are functionally very different and don't count towards meeting a partner IRL In mixed social groups, particularly couples, women are suspicious of unattached men Bullying is still a th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 04:23 AM
11

Yea exactly, where were all the 'moderate' women when this was being shouted over the social media for the last 10-15 years?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 03:29 AM
1

That's a surefire ay to end up 40, alone, bitter and still posting on reddit. Approach, just doing it in social situations, not in public.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 03:13 AM
1

This has to be It's not weird if you bothered to think about it. For years now men have been told never to "bother" women anywhere, in any context, including social situations, unless they are 100% certain the interest is mutual (obviously impossible). A better question is why don'don't you approach? (Don't bother answering; we know you desire masculine men)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 12:02 AM
5

Work? You're telling men to initially remain passive and wait until women 'hover' around them as a necessary green light. That doesn't happen for a lot of men, even reasonable looking guys with social circles. Going black pill would be the only option if they followed these rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 11:41 PM
3

And if none of that ever happens, what then? Remain a foreveralone permavirgin? Many men will never be on the receiving end of these semi-mythical signals, let alone flirting.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 10:19 PM
8

The problem is men are expected to initiate. Whether that's inadvisable cold approaching or asking an acquaintance out, they still have to do it. Because women won't. That puts men under scrutiny as an inevitable part of fulfilling their gender role. So while we should empathize with women's fears and be aware of our own behavior, until women/feminists start to change the script around who approaches - and it doesn't seem like they want to change that script - it's inevitable that 'innocent' men…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 10:12 PM
-1

Consent is not required just to start a conversation with someone. Perhaps we should just act like adults and accept that some unwanted interest is inevitable, that people should deal with it without losing their minds rather than giving more license to make erroneous accusations.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 11:51 AM
13

If you instead you let a half hour go by, it's basically now repulsive. Great example of why men don't want to play his awful game 2025.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:43 AM
1

The US has a two-party political system. There are no popular alternatives, meaning, if they lean traditional, chances are they will end up voting Trump or for the next Trump-like figure, despite the anti-immigrant rhetoric. (Which was always hot air to scoop up the redneck vote anyway - neoliberals are in favour of immigration because it suppresses wages and conditions for workers by flooding the market with labour.) The so-called left ignores the realities of why we need to rely on immigrants …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:45 AM
3

It's worth pointing out here that migration to compensate for declining birthrates would be coming mostly from conservative cultures with traditional family structures, more rigid gender norms and expectations for people to settle down and have kids early (hence their higher birthrates) These people won't automatically fall in line with progressive values just because the so-called left claims to be the non-racist end of the political spectrum. Many of them end up voting Republican/Conservative.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 02:15 PM
1

Men don't get approached. They wont be rejecting anyone who falls below their standards because it almost never happens if you're average. The onus lies almost entirely with men to grow that particular skillset deal with rejection. This is one of those gender norms that hasn't budged in the last 80s years. For the men, if somebody you found unattractive approached you, you would hate to feel obligated to talk to them or entertain them No that true. It would be aggravating to have to deal with th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 11:35 AM
6

Why should anyone be shielded from harsh criticism? It's not the kind of criticism everyone deals with though is it. The onus falls on one group to deal with that while the other gets to remain passive and avoid that altogether while romantic partners appear for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 11:08 AM
9

Not sure what you mean here. I'm speaking more generally. Being respectful or waiting until a platonic connection forms won't shield someone from harsh criticism if it turns out to be unreciprocated.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:49 AM
2

Maybe you just don't understand what ethical means.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:11 AM
24

The issue is a lot of women can't tolerate the idea of interest from men they aren't already attracted to no matter the context, familiarity level, or manner of it and attempts to strike up platonic conversation and create rapport will often just be seen as devious and framed in an even more negative way, than for eg. 'let's go back to my apartment' (which at least gives an impression of direct, confident masculine type behaviour that's likely to get some begrudging respect from certain women, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:01 AM
2

Stage of life judgements are subjective and influenced by individual life experience, but that's not the real issue: it's whether the younger party can be manipulated based on very limited life experience and undeveloped critical thinking skills. A normal mentally functional 30 year old can't be manipulated like that and it's kind of ridiculous to think they could be. A 30 year old could date a 60 yo, and while subjectively icky, ethically it's still a non-issue. The people who lose it over non …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:41 AM
2

A lot of women here are incredibly bitter and hateful as well but that is a far cry from advocating violence. Dangerous men are in out of relationships IRL all the time. It's easy to spot men who dominate others; You pick up on it if you went through bullying.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:12 AM
4

I don't notice those comments here, or even on black pill spaces full of lonely guys. You're talking extreme incel spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:43 AM
7

Halo Bias in other words.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:31 AM
7

You'd need to define 'toxic' first. Having a generally shitty or negative attitude online isn't limited to any one group. The average garden variety misogynist or arrogant arsehole has no problem getting into relationships with women because as the OP points out, those type of guys tend to be confident, take risks and shoot their shot at every opportunity without concerns about crossing boundaries or making others uncomfortable. Women are generally attracted enough to confidence that they're oft…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:28 AM
13

Ah yes. The 'ol Catch 22: The need to be genuinely confident in order to get the necessary experience... in order to be genuinely confident. Experience required in order to get experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:19 AM
1

Because it presents a power dynamic that can be damaging. 30 + men with little-to-no experience, even virgins, are told to get into relationships with women their ages who have years, even decades of relevant experience over them (single mothers for eg.) There's an obvious differential that could be leveraged if the experience party wanted. Nobody calls it out because older women's egos aren't involved as per when older men dated younger women. If the older partner ever uses his likely higher in…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 04:14 AM
3

This'll probably draw some hostile responses. Many single women his age have let themselves go badly and some of us can't force an attraction to unfeminine appearances. Of course, attractive older women exist, and plenty of guys are in dreadful physical condition at 40, but dating is a probability game and if you keep yourself in good shape but the only options in your age range seem to be people who don't, then looking towards a younger group is an obvious next option. Bitterness towards men wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 03:15 AM
1

It's 's so obvious you almost get second-hand embarrassment reading all this. Almost like they bought all the girl boss nonsense that they could have it all, a fund messing about ego validating 20s, corporate career in the 30s, then finally high value man waiting for them in their late 30s. And they actually bought that. Particularly cringe when the younger party is well into adulthood. 19? I get on board with calling that out as a problem. 29? No-one else's concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 03:07 AM
2

Someone more than 5 years younger than you doesn't automatically mean they look or behave like a child, To suggest a 40 year old dating a 30 year old is like an adult dating a child is pretty absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 02:52 AM
2

Okay but why would an older man be more likely to be a sex pest than a younger man? Particularly considering a lot of young these have spent their formative years watching extreme pornography.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 02:47 AM
–

I can respect that a young adult is an adult, and also fear for someone who, in a specific situation, may be intentionally targetting this young adult for their lack of experience. So in the case of totally inexperienced men in their mid- late 20s. 30s or 40s dating women with years to decades of relationship experience over them, you're going to intercede on their behalf? Warn them about the kinds of women drawn to hapless guys without the first clue around how to hold their own in a relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 12:31 AM
–

Modern feminism is basically Female Dating Strategy with a few pseudo-intellectual ideas and buzzwords thrown in.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 08:09 PM
2

3-10% of rape allegations are judged to be questionable (either malicious or don't meet the legal definition of rape). That's significantly higher than false reporting of other crimes. Minority? Yes, but not a tiny minority, and if the presumption of innocence were gone it would likely be higher. The vast majority of claimed victims, regardless of how honest or not they are, get nothing positive and lots of pain out of the ordeal. Silly statement. If the allegation is false then what they 'gain'…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:31 AM
4

A lot of people can't spell well enough to be airing opinions with such monotonous frequency.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 03:24 AM
5

There any data showing older virgin/inexperienced males are more likely to be deviant, beyond women's personal ick response to those men? Considering the majority of violence towards women is by far and away intimate partner violence it's a rather bold claim, if you're actually being serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 10:01 PM
1

What a load of bunk. Define "a lot", because even a fraction of a % would amount to millions. That doesn't mean it's anything like a majority view.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 09:53 PM
1

Zoomer friend: "OMG Don't bother women who are working/reading/working out they have to deal with creeps every day. EMPATHY asshole!" etc. etc. etc. It used to be as long as you were polite and took no for answer, all was fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 09:48 PM
3

We're never going to see any widespread reverting back to so-called communitarian values because a relationship based on obligation comes with these kind of downsides. Obviously women don't want to be stuck with an abuser or an outright loser, but neither do most men want to live with a woman who deeply resents them. It's a guaranteed dead bedroom and hellish daily existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 08:25 AM
1

Who has that benefitted? The US median income barely covers living costs in any major city. Highest incarceration rate in the OECD. Shorter life expectancy than the countries mentioned. More vacant houses than homeless. Practically criminal health insurance industry, when other countries fund health care from taxation or government run insurance. On top of that you have some of the highest levels of taxation on the middle class when federal and consumption taxes are factored in.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 10:28 AM
1

There's no reason the US couldn't move at least closer to the type of social democracies of the UK, Canada or Australia. Subsidizing freeriders is an inevitable downside, but the US does it already and with a high amount of waste.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:21 AM
2

Do they get paid for that? Reasonable people are busy living their lives offline, they don't have time engage in quazi moderation activities in random comment sections or subreddits.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:12 AM
–

By far the biggest threat to women are their partners. You're off-the-cuff demonizing is pretty funny. Nice guys tend to be incredibly inhibited along with everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 10:09 AM
1

You = sample size of one. And 25 is not 35, or 45.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 08:04 AM
3

You're responsible for deciding whether the other party is being honest or not. There's no coercive pressure being applied. You're making a free choice. JFC... I really don't get why this is so hard for people to grasp. Because it's nonsense and no legal system anywhere would define consent that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:56 AM
2

Right. And emotional manipulation would mean the kind of behaviours abusers engage in with their partners. Serious and relentless wearing down of someone. Refusing to 'out' yourself as a virgin, or faking intentions would never count in that category, let alone count as criminal coercion. Lying is not coercion. That's called being a shitty person.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:49 AM
3

No, it isn't, and you don't understand what coercion is. People aren't owed a complete backstory from their sexual partners. You take your chances when hooking up. Their background or intentions may not be to your liking. They might be lying about something. That's called being an adult and accepting the consequences of that decision. Can't accept that? Don't have sex with someone you barely know. The only way it stops being consensual is when there's an STD i.e. something that could cause physi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:34 AM
2

The reason there's an obsession with losing it is because it's a huge red flag for men past 25. Past 30 an older virgin man might as well be on the sex offender register as far as many women's perceptions of him are concerned. At best it's like buying an expensive off-brand item off an Amazon without any user reviews. Why do it when there's better - or safer - options? That said, using someone like that, you aren't attracted to is horrible for both people involved. And a sex worker has all sorts…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:19 AM
5

"well if we're equal then I don't have any unique responsibility in this arena and it's equally likely that women approach/pursue me." Lies are usually more harmful than unpalatable truths.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 06:00 AM
10

and provide That's a masculine role FFS.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 05:21 AM
39

It's probably the case that a largish % of men simply aren't cut out for their gender role when it comes to approaching, flirting, 'courtship' (antiquated term), particularly now that women aren't pressured into settling for them. Whereas in the past they might have had a reasonable chance of finding partners, Women don't need to "build attraction" the way men do. Men are visual or just concerned with the basics of compatibility ('do we get along and have enough in common', 'does she like me;): …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 03:39 AM
7

Women don't need to "build attraction." Men are visual or concerned with basic compatibility: we don't place much importance on traits like confidence since we're not hardwired to seek out protection and provision. The female equivalent live similar lives to what you described in that final paragraph - Except they're more welcome in social spaces and people are willing to bring them out of their shells. Eventually most will get asked out by men who take the initiative for them. Shyness only beco…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 09:05 PM
5

And you'd still be giving a truckload of sexist bootstrap advice while the female equivalent of those young men get to remain socially inhibited wallflowers with willing partners showing up for them. A certain % of men simply aren't cut out for their gender role.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:16 PM
12

Give the smug just-so advice a break. There aren't women lining up to date socially awkward guys like the OP if only he left the house and loosened up a bit. In his case it probably means overcoming the fallout from adolescent bullying plus years of isolation, to take on a gender role he's currently very ill-suited for. To go from being a shadow of a man with no confidence, to flirting and 'reading signals' is an insane leap. And he's doing this at a point in life when people have done all that …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:32 PM
3

It's more than average for your age, which makes it even more ironic and laughable to be throwing stones.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:09 PM
2

Talking to them is like talking to a child. They don’t approach but cruelly judge low status men's difficulty in doing this.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:41 PM
1

To me, as long as you’re somewhat attracted, That's the problem though isn't it. If you're a genuinely unappealing specimen yourself chances are you won't be 'somewhat' attracted to your match. Now add widespread obesity into the mix and that minimum necessity attraction is actually an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:45 AM
1

Right, and who else would they be messaging? The top few % of men they know they would have zero chance with? Women send one tenth the messages men do. The minority of women who message first are going to be more desperate and less picky to start with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:10 AM
6

How do you think that happens in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:08 AM
6

Not just about sex though is it. Nothing good about 30 + men being dateless and 12 + years behind women their ages (who already mature earlier).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:03 AM
13

Next level strawmanning
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:57 AM
2

Respect your honesty and keeping calm despite the tone of the replies.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:53 AM
15

One long-winded cope. A significant % of women don't seem to be interested in dating becauseof a lack of attraction to their options. Historically a large % of men have always missed out. Now we're hearing from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:30 AM
1

Perhaps you aren't a representative sample.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:29 AM
7

And this is coming from a group who typically won't even need to get up the gumption to ask a man out once in their lives...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 09:28 AM
0

None of the "labor" women complain about having to do is mandatory either. Relationships aren't required. Yet we're a sexually reproducing species hardwired to seek out companions.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 09:16 AM
2

46 year old virgin male here who doesn't need delusional copes to function. Believing virginity is common is cope.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 07:56 AM
1

Society doesn't tell women that they're worthless scum by default and need to prove otherwise and bootstrap their way into friendships/romantic partnerships.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:38 AM
3

For women it's estimated 1 in 4 for SA. 1 in 7 for completed rape. For men it's 1 in 4 and 1 in 33 (about 80% of that involves women as perpetrators). The vast majority of sexual assaults go unpunished, so I'd always err towards believing the apparent victim while still supporting the presumption of innocence and due process as necessary. 'Believe all women' is kind of sexist because as you can see there's a not insignificant number of male victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 12:19 AM
7

Being falsely accused IS being the victim of a crime. The false reporting rate for alleged sexual assault is up to 10%, which is higher than other crimes (2%). This would likely be higher still if the presumption of innocence principle were done away with. Erring on the side of the accuser is different from a blanket blind assumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:55 PM
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