| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Wife served me! Is Radical acceptance the only option?!This stuff varies from state to state, and idk if you’re even in the us, but if you are never forget you CAN just walk off if you don’t like the mediation…good luck man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/26 11:57 PM |
| 1 | Wife served me! Is Radical acceptance the only option?!Get a fucking lawyer. Write down every single aspect of misery you’ve endured, every addiction she had and has had. The lengths of time she has not lived with you. Employment history. These are things he’ll ask in discovery. At five years, even if you have to pay something it shouldn’t be much. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/26 11:17 PM |
| 1 | Why is this process so slow!!Idk. I turned it around fairly well in this situation but I had a very good lawyer and a lot of support. I genuinely wish ya both the best. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/26 07:17 PM |
| 10 | 😩Well buddy, you’re divorcing her. Very soon her opinions about you won’t matter as much anymore so keep ya head up. Better days are coming. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/26 07:13 PM |
| 1 | Why is this process so slow!!If she texted you it shouldn’t delete on your end even if she deleted it should it? You can just restore it? If you can’t do that, take screen shots with time stamps. If she’s texting she’s probably violated whatever order’s in place anyways…and you’re right she’s trying to get you arrested again. Idk about what state you’re in but in my state the items you had before marriage are yours. Like I said idk where you are. It’s a long, expensive, dogshit hell and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. It … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/26 03:50 PM |
| 1 | Why can't I get angry at her?Not that it matters, but when you say “hacked into” …do you mean like…your Gmail? Or like…your leg? I’m very sorry if this seems like a dumb question. I promise it’s not. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/26 01:08 PM |
| 2 | Why can't I get angry at her?I mean there’s no rule book that says you have to be angry. It’s still unacceptable, really. I’m not really angry at my exwife for that because she did things that were far worse tbh. The cheating was small potatoes compared to some of it…being angry doesn’t really change things and may actually help you in the long run. Allow yourself to feel all things in their due time. It’s not a race. It’s about the destination you have in mind and how you get there is important. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/26 01:07 PM |
| 5 | Wife angry about equitable financial splittingTake the money. It’s your money. It’s just sour grapes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 07:15 PM |
| 4 | Where do I fit anymore? Who am I?This is perfectly normal. It takes time to make new friends and find a new routine. It gets much better. It’s a miserable feeling but unfortunately time and patience really is the only advice I can offer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 04:43 PM |
| 1 | Need to Make a Decision TodaySometimes it’s hard to think this way when you’ve been in a bad situation for that long, but this is a very productive mindset. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 04:25 PM |
| 2 | Struggling with anger todayMe personally, I’d rather walk away from a snake than fight it. They’re dangerous. Good luck man. Take care. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 03:36 PM |
| 3 | Struggling with anger todayTrust yourself because you’re the most important person you know. I believe in ya. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 02:53 PM |
| 1 | should i be trying to spend my money before the financial split?It depends. Talk to your lawyer if you got one. Idk your situation. That’s why a lot of times they’ll ask bank account balances in discovery and then do an updated discovery asking same thing. Just to make sure you’re not doing that sort of thing. Judges and lawyers are pretty slick… in my state it doesn’t really matter as anything you get during the marriage is still community property. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 02:48 PM |
| 6 | Struggling with anger todayI feel ya man. I’ll teach ya a phrase that really helped me when I used to feel like that. 2 actually. “they’re entitled to their opinions…” and “fuck ‘em.” People are gonna think what they’re gonna think. It’s not your job to justify it, defend yourself, or do a durn thing to change it. Live the best life you can and let that be the evidence of you being a good person. If that doesn’t seem to be getting the point across please see phrase number two. I understand how you feel. My ex lied, cheate… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 01:49 PM |
| 1 | Letting go of the kidsLike a dioxin dump. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 10:56 AM |
| 2 | Am I crazy, or are these expectations unreasonable during a divorce?This. You don’t have to assemble furniture for someone who is divorcing you. I would suggest an attempt at polite communication at establishing the boundaries you’d like to set and once they’re set, sticking to them. Make absolutely sure you stick to them as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/26 08:46 PM |
| 2 | Men who feel the divorce came out of the blue, what kind of conversation do you wish your wife had with you and how far in advance do you wish she’d had it?Things lose their sting when they’re common place. It eventually equates to “I’m unhappy with the conversation currently!!!” And yes I do; because at first I did. She claimed she wanted a divorce, I’d do what she wanted and she’d calm down…Then she latched onto the word and it lost its fear factor and just became Tuesday afternoon…so there would have to be more escalation to get their way like throwing things…and I’m quite sure you see where I’m going. Look I’m going to be blunt here. They say d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/26 08:20 PM |
| 2 | Men who feel the divorce came out of the blue, what kind of conversation do you wish your wife had with you and how far in advance do you wish she’d had it?My exwife screamed she wanted a divorce every time she didn’t get her way or she was held accountable for her actions. As far as your questions I wish she would have told me that she genuinely wasn’t throwing a temper tantrum, was being an adult and would like to not be married to me anymore, and as for the second question, slightly before she fell into addiction, disappeared for days on end doing god knows what, and held me at gun point. Lol…at some point before those three things would have ju… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/26 07:22 PM |
| 1 | Been sleeping better and lost 20 lbs since divorce. Strange thing is I've only been divorced for 3 weeks. Is this normal?I went from 140 to about 175 in a month. I looked skeletal. The stress will kill ya man | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/26 05:08 PM |
| 2 | How do people end up remarrying/having more kids with someone after going through this?The good news is at 24 you got plenty of time to figure this shit out, buddy. Enjoy it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/26 05:02 PM |
| 3 | Need some advice from men…Keep looking backwards and you’ll trip up. Watch where you’re going. Not where you been. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/26 04:00 PM |
| 2 | Need some advice from men…There’s nothing wrong with you. It just seems like he’s maybe not interested in that anymore. When you say “will he go on to be better” …possibly but it doesn’t matter because it isn’t your problem…don’t worry about him. Worry about yourself, and I believe in ya. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/26 03:03 PM |
| 2 | Letting go of the kidsYeah man. Just keep in mind that you stopping seeing them and those two people you claim are toxic still getting a check is exactly what they want…just decide what’s right for you. I had a step daughter when I divorced so I understand not seeing them and not really having a way to deal with someone attempting to weaponize children. Whatever happens, just be able to be ok with it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/26 02:59 PM |
| 3 | Letting go of the kidsAlright, ima break bad wid ya: Which one are you fucking and which ones fucking you? Which one cares about you and which one do you care about? Life’s never easy, my brother: I wish you all the luck in the world. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/26 01:43 PM |
| 3 | Letting go of the kidsIf that’s what you wanna do, buddy; do it. Anyone who’d judge you isn’t in your situation. Let them. Not my place to judge you for it and sometimes people have to do what they have to do, whether anyone likes it or not. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/26 12:49 PM |
| 2 | Do I have to pay for the lawyer?There are states where you can file uncontested online where neither of you have to have a lawyer. In my county that would cost ya around 300 bucks but all states and even counties can be a bit different on that. It’s really really recommend you consult a lawyer. Even the best person on here’s probably only done it five or six times…a lawyer’s probably seen it well over a couple hundred | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 11:52 PM |
| 2 | How do people end up remarrying/having more kids with someone after going through this?As I understand it that’s a fairly common fear of we menfolk who’ve got burned pretty badly. To me I think of it a bit like chocolate milk. Sometimes I want chocolate milk…but I only want the one. 2 would make me feel all bloated. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone successfully drink two great big ole glasses of chocolate milk so I think I’m good with just the one. lol. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 11:16 PM |
| 4 | STBXW is trying to relegate me to a weekend dad and take all my income in IL how do I fight this?You get a lawyer, he or she will give ya the best advice you’ll get on that. A lot of what they attack with at first is just scare tactics. Get a lawyer. It’ll be ok. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 08:29 PM |
| 1 | How long did you wait after your divorce to start dating again? And how long is too soon?You don’t always pick what happens in life sir. As Bob Ross says, sometimes there’s happy accidents. ;) | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 07:25 PM |
| 3 | How long did you wait after your divorce to start dating again? And how long is too soon?There’s no magic number, dude. Do what makes you happy and remember if you’re getting divorced from this woman, her opinion of you doesn’t matter anywhere near as much as it used to. Personally, if it matters at all, I was separated from my ex for 2 years and been divorced almost a year….I’ve been on a few dates since then but absolutely nothing with any desire of being serious and really no plans of doing it again in the near future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 07:15 PM |
| 3 | Girl with a question about kids from experienced divorcee’s or married menThen you’re doing a bit better than lots of folks, friend. If he’s actively taking responsibility for life that doesn’t really do anything other than eat, toot, poop and maybe fetch stuff… that’s sort of a positive sign. I really wish you 2 luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 04:13 PM |
| 2 | Girl with a question about kids from experienced divorcee’s or married menDo YOU have five or do you and your husband have five? There’s a lot in that answer | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 04:08 PM |
| 0 | Girl with a question about kids from experienced divorcee’s or married menGet a dog. I’m not insulting you. Lol. It may seem that way. But seriously…if you can do dog talk more about kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 04:06 PM |
| 3 | Need to vent and learn to let go.You cannot dance with yourself. Unless you’re Billy Idol. And let’s face it…none of us are Billy Idol. Just accept that sometimes things don’t work the way we want them to work, learn from your mistakes and learn to recognize mistakes other people made so you can see them in the future. I will say you do need to vent. Sometimes I still need to vent and mine was finalized almost a year ago. As amazing a sentence as this is…it’s true “it’s a very difficult thing to learn to not do something.” The … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 03:04 PM |
| 3 | Gaslit or Narcasstic? Which one am I?Yeah. The word “narcissist” gets thrown around a lot these days. Typically the folks who use it mean “someone who doesn’t cater to my bs and calls me out on it” but honestly there’s a very small amount of the world with narcissism. If you doubt that, do what this guy says and go to a therapist. They’ll be able to tell ya if you are. Even Lex Luger wasn’t a real narcissist and he was on the tv calling himself one for years. ;) | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 01:32 PM |
| 2 | Married young and building resentmentYeah. If you want it to potentially get better find the counselor and pay for it. If you’ve been to counseling you clearly know how to find one. That sort of thing intimidates some folks. Plus if you suggested it, you should probably be the one to follow through and set it up if she’ll actually do it. My ex wouldn’t. At all. Consider yourself lucky they’re not just outright opposed to the idea. Many folks are. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 12:45 PM |
| 5 | How do people end up remarrying/having more kids with someone after going through this?I can see why folks get remarried. Most folks don’t want to completely give up on the idea of them being able to carve out that cliche wife, kids, etc…and they usually learn a bit in the process…but I mean it ain’t for everyone. I’ve been divorced a year almost and haven’t seen my exwife other than court for about 3 years…but honestly I don’t really have a desire to do the whole married thing again. My chiropractor told me he’d been divorced for 15 years and hadn’t even so much as thought about … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 12:40 PM |
| 14 | When we were married, she had nothing to say to me. Now that we're divorced and co-parenting, she won't shut up and leave me alone. Make it make sense!Mine tried the whole conversations to find out what I was doing…Never forget the fact you don’t have to be reactive to someone’s junk. Unfortunately you will have to deal with a certain bit of it but you will always have the option to respond or not respond how you choose. Not all messages warrant or even deserve a response. Make sure you take plenty of time to think on how best to mitigate the junk you have to hear. I usually waited 8 hours or so before I replied to mine (that way it’s the same… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 03:28 AM |
| 2 | How much alimony do you have to pay and child support?My exwife pulled a lot of that sort of thing. Wouldn’t come to court or mediation for over a year. Held in contempt I wanna say three times? The health insurance and “too sick to work” deal as well. Even claimed she had cancer and refused to produce medical documents showing that. She attempted to claim I abused her by allowing her to get drunk and fall and hit her head while she was in another state than I was in. In the end I payed a doc in the box bill for her just to get rid of her and she g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/26 10:03 PM |
| 9 | 20+ years of marriage, last year was tough, now found out about infidelitySomeone cheating on you is never going to be your fault. It cannot be. You’re not even involved in the decision making process that goes into it. When you say “justifying”…that is all it is: justification to make themselves feel better and hoping you will buy it. Don’t. I can’t tell you what to do and I’m not saying to get a divorce but with the weed and the cheating and the not keeping up with chores, I would definitely begin to document things either way. That being said I wish you the absolut… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/26 05:21 PM |
| 1 | How to survive silver bullet divorceWhen i leaned this part…my ex flipped out and began harassing people in my family to try to get me to respond, I wasn’t even doing 24; I was only doing 8. I’ve truly learned that’s what you pay the lawyer for and to let him/her do their jobs. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/26 12:13 AM |
| 5 | Wife moved out a month ago and now is trying to get a no contact order on me so I have no where to live.You need to get a lawyer. ASAP. If you’re still living there, they can help you with that very quickly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 09:41 PM |
| 6 | Was I in an abusive relationship?Yeah I stopped at cheated five times. There are better ways to live friend and I wish you much luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 06:28 PM |
| 2 | How to support a man during a shocking divorce?Oh man, I been there. It be all like about twelve pounds of “welp, this sucks.” I can’t hug you, but I can tell you that boss, it is going to be ok. It will suck. Majorly. …and then one day it won’t anymore. Think of it like surgery if that helps. Sure it’s scary but that dang ole appendix doesn’t need to be there anymore and you’ll feel so much better a few weeks after you stop paying the bill to get rid of it. ;) | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 04:20 PM |
| 1 | Paternity testI can’t tell you if you should or shouldn’t; you can if you’d like and if it makes life easier for ya, go on ahead and do it. I can say that personally I honestly wouldn’t care. From the way you’re describing it you’re worrying who poured the water under a bridge instead of enjoying your wonderful side of the bridge. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 04:14 PM |
| 3 | How to support a man during a shocking divorce?It really depends on the person: offer to do things with them if you actually enjoy some of the same things. I always liked when people would text me their day rather than ask about mine because it meant I could think about something other than divorce for a while. Just talk to them. One thing I haven’t seen here is this: offer to ride with them to the court stuff if you’re able. It’s always way better to stomach bad news if someone’s with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 03:04 PM |
| 4 | How long after divorce you felt like you are yourself again?They say therapy, the gym, surrounding yourself with supportive people….i was divorced about a year ago and it took about six whole months before I’m starting to feel myself again. The important thing is that you start realizing to make yourself happy. You say you’re emotionally exhausted, so do something that rejuvenates you. Idk you so I can’t tell you what that is: for me it’s like a six pack and some vidja games or playing guitar for 2 days straight. Maybe you like rock climbing…idk. There’s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 01:56 PM |
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