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carnivalbilly Archive

View 0 posts and 122 comments by carnivalbilly on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I forget the name cause I don’t got kids, but there’s a court approved app for just this sort of thing.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 06:37 PM
7

I used to sorta feel like there was nothing good in the world, then I realized “hey…I have a dog…” I had to teach myself at some point: “don’t let people who run away come back” because they’ll always run away. Idk if that helps you…but it greatly helped me, friend. I’m very sorry you’re dealing with this. I know it’s a terrible time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 12:57 AM
1

It may be normal to feel badly for them but it’s also a rule for a reason…and it’s also a rule someone willingly broke.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 11:22 PM
2

Not the person you asked, and not a podcast, but maybe it’ll make you smile: https://youtu.be/85HT4Om6JT4?is=JV5lfyrnYw7hxHZM
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 04:05 PM
1

Dju own either the gold or the car before married?
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 12:51 AM
2

If someone can’t let you move beyond your past, they’re probably not for you anyways… that being said I genuinely enjoy the solitude because it forces me to be productive if I want something to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 09:15 PM
2

I’ve really started looking at it like a hot chocolate. I had the one. It was enough. If I drank 2 hot chocolates I’d probably feel bloated the rest of the day and it may upset my tummy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 02:47 PM
7

The main thing I’d worry about is if that would affect my visitation of the children, but I suppose you’ve already crossed that rubicon. Your exwife could use this post against you so be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 10:57 AM
1

It depends on the divorce, some ex’s have tried to kill their spouses. Likewise not all deaths are the same. You’re really asking a “giant douche or turd sandwich” style question. I’m super sorry you’re going through all this. It’s a very rough time. Both you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 10:54 AM
4

You start by calling a lawyer and setting up an appointment. If the first one you call won’t, the next one will…They can also potentially help you with the house situation depending on certification things and maintaining the status quo. Personally I wouldn’t call the woman. At all. I would recommend for today tho, since it’s Sunday, to eat a decent meal, get some rest and try to focus on the fact you currently do have somewhere to stay and work on things in the morning with a fresh and SOBER he…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 07:27 PM
6

If you cannot let go of your exwife you owe it to yourself and current partner to do that. Personally I wouldn’t talk to the person who cheated on me any more than I actually had to, and their well-being would be on their own heads. That may seem cold, but it’s simply a boundary I’ve had to put in my own life. You can care about people and allow them to live their own lives. I wish you luck.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 04:43 PM
0

Yeah. Both me and my exwife went to counseling. I insisted we do that because I found out my health plan actually covered it completely and it was free. She wouldn’t do couples counseling because she didn’t like any of the counselors or specialists I picked and did not want to pick one herself. I had multiple counselors and I believe the best were a retired preacher/dhr employee, and a lady who worked for my job’s wellness program who was previously an army counselor specializing in soldiers wit…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 04:39 PM
4

Oh man. I feel ya. I used to be a man of sooo many hobbies but I lacked the energy to do stuff for so long. I played music in clubs, I painted, I wrote reviews and children’s stories… the stress just made all that stuff I used to enjoy so much completely miserable. I’m slowly getting back into most of it, altho I am far more prone to as I tell people “look at the tv”…not even watch it…just stare at it. I’m way happier but I feel like the over all stress of bad marriage and pointlessly long drawn…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 02:06 AM
2

I know one guy from church who won’t ever leave you or forsake you. ;) anyways…you got this. It’s just no fun.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 10:19 PM
2

It will get better my friend. Much. It doesn’t seem like it will ever get better…but it does and it happens suddenly when you’re not expecting it lol.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 09:48 PM
3

No! I had to sleep in my car many nights when I was married! That’s a major part of why I divorced the woman. I had to stay with family, friends, or just go to work hours early and sleep. She would become violent and rather than just call the durn cops I would just allow it. The last time I left my home was because she pointed a pistol in my face and threatened me. Now a days, I don’t have to deal with that sort of asinine, juvenile shit and it’s delightful.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 08:52 PM
1

She can be friends with whoever they want. Sometimes they just do it to be a bitch, but sometimes they’re genuine friends….its kinda a case by case thing. If it completely bothers you, you can add in a no contact order in the divorce decree as to them not being able to contact anyone in your family. They’re fairly standard in divorce court and judges grant them all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 08:49 PM
7

I mean like, honestly nobody can tell you if you did in fact “exaggerate” Everyone is different. You can divorce for reasons as diverse as attempted murder to as mundane as you two just can’t seem to get along
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 11:34 PM
2

It’s fairly disrespectful and entitled to come to a group meant for menfolk dealing with menfolk’s problems and ask for something free…then not listen to them…and assume you know better. The menfolk on this particular sub’s overwhelming opinion seems to be “respectfully, we wish you’d go to a different subreddit and seek whatever there. I can’t tell you how to live, nor would I want to do so however I suggest enrolling in therapy as I said earlier. Arguing on the internet because you aren’t gett…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 04:09 PM
7

Yeah. People often mistake kindness for weakness, especially in these kinds of situations; ya got to let folks do what they do. Wish I had learned that younger.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/26 12:30 PM
9

That one is a you problem. What he’s dealing with is a him problem. What you’re dealing with a you problem. If you want to understand what he’s saying about talking to his therapist, consider speaking to one on your own. I’m very sorry this happened to you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 10:51 PM
6

The best advice I can give you is to not worry about that. It’s a him problem.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 10:48 PM
7

I eat by myself in restaurants all the time… it may make me an absolute dick but I always think “oh man…this is so cheap I can do it when I want now!”
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 12:04 AM
5

Get a no contact order in your divorce saying they can’t attempt to contact you through friends or family…they usually go both ways so you wouldn’t be able to do the same either and are pretty standard in divorces. Then have nothing to do with those folks unless ya got kids together. Let em do their thing…not your problem anymore. If you’re Christian like you say, “Every man’s way is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.” You’ll be just fine, buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 08:33 PM
1

You realize they’re a person, with both good and bad qualities and they did something that you didn’t want them to do and you are angry at them for that and perhaps other reasons…Not idealize or devalue. …and if you divorce them you also realize they’re a person, but someone you’re possibly going to have to battle tooth and fucking nail to stand up for yourself…and you prepare accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 02:45 PM
7

You can’t be blamed for someone cheating. You’re not even one of the two people in that decision making process, bud…and would you even want to be with someone who’s decision making process is “I have to get back at this person that I’m married to…” that’s not a very good attitude for a married person to have You also can’t always trust people when they say things about sex in these kinds of situations because sometimes it’s straight up just to hurt you. If they weren’t complaining at the time, …
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 12:33 PM
1

I’m going to tell you what I would say to my lawyer after he did something like that “you’re so smart…I’ll bet you went to college…”
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 09:55 AM
3

Yes to a point. They asked for several years of bank records and when asked for a lot clarifications my lawyer told them that’s frivolous and so we weren’t going to do it. Then they sent the request again later because they “lost” my first copy and I had to do it again with different “clarification questions” which my lawyer also said we weren’t going to do. …talk to your lawyer he may well tell you not to worry about it and they can ask whatever specific questions they want afterwards…or not at…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 11:06 PM
1

The best advice I can give you is that: these things seem like they won’t ever end, but they do. They end. And when they end things change…and what you do when that happens is up to you…sometimes things don’t work out and the only real rule of life is that nothing’s permanent.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 10:22 PM
3

There is a forum specifically called “divorce.” They may help you better and I say this with experience because I posted there several times during the period of my divorce. I spoke with several of the mods and they seem to be decent enough folk. This is more geared towards we menfolk and specific problems dealing with divorce menfolk face. As far as dealing with domestic abuse I would suggest enrolling in therapy and using free time to do things you genuinely enjoy. I wish you luck on your jour…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 12:02 PM
9

I would suggest therapy because if there’s a pattern going on and you can’t seem to break said pattern, perhaps a new perspective is in order.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 11:56 AM
2

Well what do you think would be cheaper in the long run? That’s probably what I would do.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/26 12:20 AM
-1

No buddy, I really haven’t nor do I have any interest in continuing the conversation. You asked a question and I told you an answer. End of transaction. Good day.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 10:25 PM
-1

I have never had a husband. If you’re referring to me as the husband…to the best of my knowledge I’ve never done anything in Latin
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 10:12 PM
1

Idk what to tell you other than I turned mine into a game room with like arcades and such. I had to do something to take my mind off of it and be able to build new memories.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 07:18 PM
1

And I answered it. You can ask for whatever you want and your reasons are your own. Worst thing that happens is you won’t get it. Personally I wouldn’t care you if you asked for the house, a bengal tiger and a six pack of coor’s….and i am a man. Hope that helps. Have a nice day.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 03:00 PM
1

You can ask for absolutely whatever you want; the worst that can happen is the other party says no and you go to court arguing over it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 01:50 PM
3

Eh I don’t have depression because the docs told me so…but like it was a major damn bummer and I think about it a lot. Haven’t seen the kid in about 3 years. Her birthday is this week. It does get easier tho.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/26 10:28 AM
1

Yeah, I posted over there pretty regular a year or so ago. I never really had a bad experience but it honestly makes more sense to post here for me imo
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 02:00 AM
1

Hahaha. Those people aren’t so bad over there…but asking to chat with opposite sex breaks their rules.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 12:05 AM
1

Doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t have to do that if he doesn’t want to. At all.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 04:00 PM
2

Yes. Somewhere there’s a rule written down that you have to do that…and that if you don’t…you have to give me ten dollars, a pack of guitar strings and a can of blue spray paint…I don’t mind which specific hue of blue… Of course not dude. You do NOT have to be friends with anyone. Ever. It’s beside the point they did that…you can just pick anyone on earth randomly and not like them…these folks you DO have a reason to dislike…what you cannot do is physically harm them…what you shouldn’t do is let…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 03:20 PM
1

Like these folks have said, therapy can really help. One thing I’ll tell you is this: you’re still young and have lots of life left…sometimes it just takes time to be able to deal with things…there’s no magic formula to this. When something like that goes away it can be very difficult to bounce back from…I had the crying thing for a while after my divorce…but it was never for hours…it was just for a few sobs and I’d be ok. As far as the drinking alone; I never drink alone. I have a dog. ;) The “…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 12:56 PM
2

That these things happen and people either understand or don’t…depending on the divorce type leaving and going somewhere with her family could be very dangerous on multiple fronts. Ultimately I wish you luck.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 10:26 PM
1

Keep calling folks buddy. Don’t let it get ya discouraged. There’s even flat rate folks. Call legal aid. You may have to wait on the phone a loooong time tho
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 05:12 PM
1

Try one of the legal advice subs? Mine wanted 7 for retainer and the divorce went on almost 2 years. I ended up taking out a loan and it’s almost paid back. These things aren’t cheap, bud. I’m sorry this is happening.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 04:26 PM
1

I mean, unless you genuinely think she’s gonna abuse the dog…I’d prolly take the settlement and move on…and have your lawyer stick a no contact order in there…because those are pretty standard and it’ll make you maybe feel like you both won a little more. That’s just me tho. Idk you. Her. Or dog.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 04:24 PM
1

Honestly your best bet is to talk to a lawyer. Many will do consultations for free.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 04:19 PM
5

Most people don’t like to feel like they’re able to just be “replaced” Of course that’s not what you’re doing…but the important part is this; you can just leave her comments and whatever else unread because it honestly doesn’t matter what she thinks about you or your new friend. That’s the point of moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 04:11 PM
1

Everyone ever has thought about divorce. Just like everyone ever has thought about quitting their job in an extraordinary manner. It’s what you do with those thoughts that matter. Have you tried some form of marriage counseling?
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 03:30 PM
2

Then never deal with them alone ever.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 03:25 PM
1

Of you’re in a one party state as far as recording, you may want to talk to your lawyer about recording your interactions with her just to cover your boo-boo. You mentioned she has cameras, but you really shouldn’t rely on that. I’m not being a dick or anything because I don’t know either of you, nor am I a lawyer, I just have dealt with a truly dreadful person in a divorce and know just how shitty folks can attempt to be….if worse comes to worse…you actually don’t even have to say a word. Just …
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 01:27 PM
3

I warn you tho, man, this may well drive that person into a frenzy. They may take it as belittling them and shutting them down which you’re not really…so be prepared for a lot of what we call down South the OLJ’s. (Oh Lordy Jesus’s) you’re simply reminding them that this is a court case and that you’re NOT a lawyer…that you have hired someone to represent you and that this person you’ve hired has the legal authority to act on your behalf in this particular situation…and that it’s foolish for you…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 01:20 PM
6

If your lawyer has cards, get a bunch. Every time you absolutely must be physically around her, try to have someone with you as a witness…and if she brings it up, offer her one of the lawyer’s cards…tell her that’s what you pay him to do. If you do that tho, be warned she may well lose her mind so be prepared.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/26 10:59 AM
5

Honestly you may as well ask “how do people in general handle divorce” because absolutely everyone handles it differently and it’s a different situation for everyone. If I had to guess, they told you that because they wanted to tell you that. If you communicate with this person, you could always ask them why they said that and what specifically they meant. As the answer to your other question, have I personally regretted my own divorce? No. No I have not. I was in a dangerous situation that was …
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 10:18 PM
2

You’re gonna be a’ite buddy! The dreams go away. The blah goes away. The what if’s go away…and then there’s just you and a whole world of possibilities.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 09:29 PM
2

Wasn’t talking about that, but yeah sometimes. More that it’s a buddy to have around.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 07:46 PM
2

I had a similar situation, haven’t had social media in ages and absolutely love it. You should see people’s face when they say they can’t find my Facebook and I’m like “I know.”
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 07:29 PM
2

If you can deal with one try a dog or cat. I personally recommend dog. They cause a bit more chaos and require you to get up and let em out and such.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 07:24 PM
7

Because you’re allowing yourself to do that. When you think these things, remind yourself that A) you’re not in some kind of competition with “her” or anyone else, B) you divorced. You don’t need to worry how good or how bad her life is, and C) you’re the ultimate standard of your own happiness. When you’re unhappy or lonely, that it is up to you to attempt to remedy that problem…which seems monumental at times but I assure you can do it. Personally, I believe in ya.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 07:15 PM
3

Just slow down, breathe, take your time, and when you need breaks take them. It absolutely sucks. I have done the paperwork you are referring to a couple years ago. It can be done.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 01:42 PM
2

Most folks would have just had you arrested if you raped them…they wouldn’t just threaten with it. You said it was 12 years ago you were divorced…so in my mind that should be 12 years since you touched her…I can’t tell ya how to live your life, but that sort of junk reeks of just toxic threats. Good luck, buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 04:11 PM
3

Because you’re letting her. See the part after that about getting her trespassed. Easy peasy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 04:01 PM
3

Luckily the statute of limitations has run out on the ole “castle case.” Get a doorbell camera. Use it. Lock the door. Have her trespassed. The second I got a doorbell camera my ex completely disappeared. People continue behaving badly when boundaries aren’t given to them.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 02:24 PM
7

Some folks would take the dog bites and sue the crap out of ya. Ugh.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/26 02:19 PM
2

Yeah Sundays are a bit of a problem for me at times as well... there’s no sound unless you make it. I learned to occupy my time more and stay silent less.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 04:27 PM
3

This was a bit difficult to follow, but the over arching message is this: let these people deal with each other and move on with your life. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 02:14 PM
1

Take some time for you, buddy. As you learned getting divorced, none of this stuff’s the end of the world.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 10:57 PM
2

While depression did Robert Johnson a world of good, I’d recommend staying away from it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 08:40 PM
2

I fronted a band til my ex wife ran the other folks off with her dreadful behavior so I understand the having lots of connections. It’s all personal preference tbh. D&D kids are usually pretty welcoming to new folks, despite our reputation as basement dwellers. The important thing is if you want a friend, just keep on being you and you’ll find one eventually. The main thing with the d&d crowd is just showing up, tbh. Some many folks say “oh yeah I’ll be there” and aren’t. So if you’re reliable, …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 08:08 PM
3

I can tell ya I just got rid of all social media except for reddit, if you call it that, gave my phone number to folks and told them “if ya want me text or call” and it worked out fairly well. Filtered out most of the folks who didn’t wanna do anything and kept the folks who did. About a month after my divorce was final I made a Facebook and most everyone who added me back really only wanted to talk about me being divorced so I deleted it again and haven’t had any since.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 07:22 PM
2

I understand where ya coming from buddy. Stuff like that’s miserable. I even kept a card my ex gave me from before she fell into addiction. This isn’t really a race and it’ll be ok. I believe in ya.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 07:14 PM
1

My ex was falling pretty bad into addiction, wouldnt work, wouldnt clean, had become physically abusive, pulled a pistol on me, stole money, wouldn’t come home for weeks on end, left me to care for her daughter (that wasn’t mine) several times, those were the biggest things; I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was, I would take pictures during our relationship of things like Christmas…like everyone does…then I would have to video her when she was out of her mind and dangerous to cover …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 07:09 PM
2

Yeah dude. Just be who you are. If you have to act differently, you’ll most likely end up in the same situation we’re in now.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 03:26 PM
1

This stuff varies from state to state, and idk if you’re even in the us, but if you are never forget you CAN just walk off if you don’t like the mediation…good luck man.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 11:57 PM
1

Get a fucking lawyer. Write down every single aspect of misery you’ve endured, every addiction she had and has had. The lengths of time she has not lived with you. Employment history. These are things he’ll ask in discovery. At five years, even if you have to pay something it shouldn’t be much.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 11:17 PM
1

Idk. I turned it around fairly well in this situation but I had a very good lawyer and a lot of support. I genuinely wish ya both the best.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 07:17 PM
11

Well buddy, you’re divorcing her. Very soon her opinions about you won’t matter as much anymore so keep ya head up. Better days are coming.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 07:13 PM
1

If she texted you it shouldn’t delete on your end even if she deleted it should it? You can just restore it? If you can’t do that, take screen shots with time stamps. If she’s texting she’s probably violated whatever order’s in place anyways…and you’re right she’s trying to get you arrested again. Idk about what state you’re in but in my state the items you had before marriage are yours. Like I said idk where you are. It’s a long, expensive, dogshit hell and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. It …
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 03:50 PM
1

Not that it matters, but when you say “hacked into” …do you mean like…your Gmail? Or like…your leg? I’m very sorry if this seems like a dumb question. I promise it’s not.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 01:08 PM
2

I mean there’s no rule book that says you have to be angry. It’s still unacceptable, really. I’m not really angry at my exwife for that because she did things that were far worse tbh. The cheating was small potatoes compared to some of it…being angry doesn’t really change things and may actually help you in the long run. Allow yourself to feel all things in their due time. It’s not a race. It’s about the destination you have in mind and how you get there is important.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 01:07 PM
6

Take the money. It’s your money. It’s just sour grapes.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 07:15 PM
4

This is perfectly normal. It takes time to make new friends and find a new routine. It gets much better. It’s a miserable feeling but unfortunately time and patience really is the only advice I can offer.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 04:43 PM
1

Sometimes it’s hard to think this way when you’ve been in a bad situation for that long, but this is a very productive mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 04:25 PM
2

Me personally, I’d rather walk away from a snake than fight it. They’re dangerous. Good luck man. Take care.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 03:36 PM
3

Trust yourself because you’re the most important person you know. I believe in ya.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 02:53 PM
1

It depends. Talk to your lawyer if you got one. Idk your situation. That’s why a lot of times they’ll ask bank account balances in discovery and then do an updated discovery asking same thing. Just to make sure you’re not doing that sort of thing. Judges and lawyers are pretty slick… in my state it doesn’t really matter as anything you get during the marriage is still community property.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 02:48 PM
5

I feel ya man. I’ll teach ya a phrase that really helped me when I used to feel like that. 2 actually. “they’re entitled to their opinions…” and “fuck ‘em.” People are gonna think what they’re gonna think. It’s not your job to justify it, defend yourself, or do a durn thing to change it. Live the best life you can and let that be the evidence of you being a good person. If that doesn’t seem to be getting the point across please see phrase number two. I understand how you feel. My ex lied, cheate…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 01:49 PM
1

Like a dioxin dump.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 10:56 AM
2

This. You don’t have to assemble furniture for someone who is divorcing you. I would suggest an attempt at polite communication at establishing the boundaries you’d like to set and once they’re set, sticking to them. Make absolutely sure you stick to them as well.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 08:46 PM
2

Things lose their sting when they’re common place. It eventually equates to “I’m unhappy with the conversation currently!!!” And yes I do; because at first I did. She claimed she wanted a divorce, I’d do what she wanted and she’d calm down…Then she latched onto the word and it lost its fear factor and just became Tuesday afternoon…so there would have to be more escalation to get their way like throwing things…and I’m quite sure you see where I’m going. Look I’m going to be blunt here. They say d…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 08:20 PM
2

My exwife screamed she wanted a divorce every time she didn’t get her way or she was held accountable for her actions. As far as your questions I wish she would have told me that she genuinely wasn’t throwing a temper tantrum, was being an adult and would like to not be married to me anymore, and as for the second question, slightly before she fell into addiction, disappeared for days on end doing god knows what, and held me at gun point. Lol…at some point before those three things would have ju…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 07:22 PM
1

I went from 140 to about 175 in a month. I looked skeletal. The stress will kill ya man
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 05:08 PM
2

The good news is at 24 you got plenty of time to figure this shit out, buddy. Enjoy it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 05:02 PM
3

Keep looking backwards and you’ll trip up. Watch where you’re going. Not where you been.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 04:00 PM
2

There’s nothing wrong with you. It just seems like he’s maybe not interested in that anymore. When you say “will he go on to be better” …possibly but it doesn’t matter because it isn’t your problem…don’t worry about him. Worry about yourself, and I believe in ya.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 03:03 PM
2

Yeah man. Just keep in mind that you stopping seeing them and those two people you claim are toxic still getting a check is exactly what they want…just decide what’s right for you. I had a step daughter when I divorced so I understand not seeing them and not really having a way to deal with someone attempting to weaponize children. Whatever happens, just be able to be ok with it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 02:59 PM
3

Alright, ima break bad wid ya: Which one are you fucking and which ones fucking you? Which one cares about you and which one do you care about? Life’s never easy, my brother: I wish you all the luck in the world.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 01:43 PM
3

If that’s what you wanna do, buddy; do it. Anyone who’d judge you isn’t in your situation. Let them. Not my place to judge you for it and sometimes people have to do what they have to do, whether anyone likes it or not.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 12:49 PM
2

There are states where you can file uncontested online where neither of you have to have a lawyer. In my county that would cost ya around 300 bucks but all states and even counties can be a bit different on that. It’s really really recommend you consult a lawyer. Even the best person on here’s probably only done it five or six times…a lawyer’s probably seen it well over a couple hundred
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 11:52 PM
2

As I understand it that’s a fairly common fear of we menfolk who’ve got burned pretty badly. To me I think of it a bit like chocolate milk. Sometimes I want chocolate milk…but I only want the one. 2 would make me feel all bloated. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone successfully drink two great big ole glasses of chocolate milk so I think I’m good with just the one. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 11:16 PM
4

You get a lawyer, he or she will give ya the best advice you’ll get on that. A lot of what they attack with at first is just scare tactics. Get a lawyer. It’ll be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 08:29 PM
1

You don’t always pick what happens in life sir. As Bob Ross says, sometimes there’s happy accidents. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 07:25 PM
3

There’s no magic number, dude. Do what makes you happy and remember if you’re getting divorced from this woman, her opinion of you doesn’t matter anywhere near as much as it used to. Personally, if it matters at all, I was separated from my ex for 2 years and been divorced almost a year….I’ve been on a few dates since then but absolutely nothing with any desire of being serious and really no plans of doing it again in the near future.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 07:15 PM
3

Then you’re doing a bit better than lots of folks, friend. If he’s actively taking responsibility for life that doesn’t really do anything other than eat, toot, poop and maybe fetch stuff… that’s sort of a positive sign. I really wish you 2 luck.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 04:13 PM
2

Do YOU have five or do you and your husband have five? There’s a lot in that answer
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 04:08 PM
0

Get a dog. I’m not insulting you. Lol. It may seem that way. But seriously…if you can do dog talk more about kids.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 04:06 PM
3

You cannot dance with yourself. Unless you’re Billy Idol. And let’s face it…none of us are Billy Idol. Just accept that sometimes things don’t work the way we want them to work, learn from your mistakes and learn to recognize mistakes other people made so you can see them in the future. I will say you do need to vent. Sometimes I still need to vent and mine was finalized almost a year ago. As amazing a sentence as this is…it’s true “it’s a very difficult thing to learn to not do something.” The …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 03:04 PM
3

Yeah. The word “narcissist” gets thrown around a lot these days. Typically the folks who use it mean “someone who doesn’t cater to my bs and calls me out on it” but honestly there’s a very small amount of the world with narcissism. If you doubt that, do what this guy says and go to a therapist. They’ll be able to tell ya if you are. Even Lex Luger wasn’t a real narcissist and he was on the tv calling himself one for years. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 01:32 PM
2

Yeah. If you want it to potentially get better find the counselor and pay for it. If you’ve been to counseling you clearly know how to find one. That sort of thing intimidates some folks. Plus if you suggested it, you should probably be the one to follow through and set it up if she’ll actually do it. My ex wouldn’t. At all. Consider yourself lucky they’re not just outright opposed to the idea. Many folks are.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 12:45 PM
4

I can see why folks get remarried. Most folks don’t want to completely give up on the idea of them being able to carve out that cliche wife, kids, etc…and they usually learn a bit in the process…but I mean it ain’t for everyone. I’ve been divorced a year almost and haven’t seen my exwife other than court for about 3 years…but honestly I don’t really have a desire to do the whole married thing again. My chiropractor told me he’d been divorced for 15 years and hadn’t even so much as thought about …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 12:40 PM
14

Mine tried the whole conversations to find out what I was doing…Never forget the fact you don’t have to be reactive to someone’s junk. Unfortunately you will have to deal with a certain bit of it but you will always have the option to respond or not respond how you choose. Not all messages warrant or even deserve a response. Make sure you take plenty of time to think on how best to mitigate the junk you have to hear. I usually waited 8 hours or so before I replied to mine (that way it’s the same…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 03:28 AM
2

My exwife pulled a lot of that sort of thing. Wouldn’t come to court or mediation for over a year. Held in contempt I wanna say three times? The health insurance and “too sick to work” deal as well. Even claimed she had cancer and refused to produce medical documents showing that. She attempted to claim I abused her by allowing her to get drunk and fall and hit her head while she was in another state than I was in. In the end I payed a doc in the box bill for her just to get rid of her and she g…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 10:03 PM
9

Someone cheating on you is never going to be your fault. It cannot be. You’re not even involved in the decision making process that goes into it. When you say “justifying”…that is all it is: justification to make themselves feel better and hoping you will buy it. Don’t. I can’t tell you what to do and I’m not saying to get a divorce but with the weed and the cheating and the not keeping up with chores, I would definitely begin to document things either way. That being said I wish you the absolut…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 05:21 PM
1

When i leaned this part…my ex flipped out and began harassing people in my family to try to get me to respond, I wasn’t even doing 24; I was only doing 8. I’ve truly learned that’s what you pay the lawyer for and to let him/her do their jobs.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 12:13 AM
5

You need to get a lawyer. ASAP. If you’re still living there, they can help you with that very quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 09:41 PM
6

Yeah I stopped at cheated five times. There are better ways to live friend and I wish you much luck.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 06:28 PM
2

Oh man, I been there. It be all like about twelve pounds of “welp, this sucks.” I can’t hug you, but I can tell you that boss, it is going to be ok. It will suck. Majorly. …and then one day it won’t anymore. Think of it like surgery if that helps. Sure it’s scary but that dang ole appendix doesn’t need to be there anymore and you’ll feel so much better a few weeks after you stop paying the bill to get rid of it. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 04:20 PM
1

I can’t tell you if you should or shouldn’t; you can if you’d like and if it makes life easier for ya, go on ahead and do it. I can say that personally I honestly wouldn’t care. From the way you’re describing it you’re worrying who poured the water under a bridge instead of enjoying your wonderful side of the bridge.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 04:14 PM
3

It really depends on the person: offer to do things with them if you actually enjoy some of the same things. I always liked when people would text me their day rather than ask about mine because it meant I could think about something other than divorce for a while. Just talk to them. One thing I haven’t seen here is this: offer to ride with them to the court stuff if you’re able. It’s always way better to stomach bad news if someone’s with you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 03:04 PM
4

They say therapy, the gym, surrounding yourself with supportive people….i was divorced about a year ago and it took about six whole months before I’m starting to feel myself again. The important thing is that you start realizing to make yourself happy. You say you’re emotionally exhausted, so do something that rejuvenates you. Idk you so I can’t tell you what that is: for me it’s like a six pack and some vidja games or playing guitar for 2 days straight. Maybe you like rock climbing…idk. There’s…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 01:56 PM
1

My friend, I raised my ex’s little girl from 6 school til almost 14 when me and her mom divorced, as a stepdad I have no rights to see her and haven’t seen her in over 3 years. I realize when she’s an adult she can make the call of whether she’d actually like to speak to me or not, and honestly that’s not far off but I understand…sometimes…and some days it hits pretty hard and I believe it always will. It’s just a thing we go through, and I wish ya luck with it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 09:30 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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