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View 1 posts and 66 comments by celticmoose on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

celticmoose/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 08:53 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
12

I’m still in the thick of it but some things that have already happened: Got into the best shape I’ve been in in years Became more confident in myself and focused on creating a new life for myself and my kids Changed my mindset from feeling like a failure to feeling like my STBX didn’t know/appreciate my value and worth Went on a really nice date this week and have a second date planned for next week. It’s also nice not worrying how it turns out, just enjoying the moment Things I’m looking forwa…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 04:30 PM
3

This is cliche stuff here but it’s cliche for a reason - find a therapist, hit the gym, spend as much time with others as you can because sitting alone with your thoughts will be hell. Hitting the gym isn’t about getting buff or anything it’s about the dopamine you get from it. Every time I was angry or sad in the beginning I worked out and felt better 100% of the time. Therapy gave me a place to be angry or sad without exposing my kids to it or having something come out to my STBXW that would h…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 04:15 PM
15

As someone who was a big gamer and slowly stopped playing due to marriage and children, I can tell you I should have kept playing. I slowly changed who I was to try and be the man I thought she wanted me to be. But in reality not only did I fail at the goal of pleasing her, but I made myself miserable in the process. Don’t lose yourself or your hobbies for a woman. They are important in maintaining a healthy relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 02:18 PM
2

Why would I be offended? My question was sincere and genuine.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 03:29 PM
1

And why do you care?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:56 PM
0

Disagree, he looks at this women and thinks she needs to be saved. I think he needs to talk to his therapist about why he feels that way.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:38 PM
1

But it’s fine to sleep with as many women as possible after a divorce, common advice in this sub?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:34 PM
5

She doesn’t need saving. If this is your mentality with women you’re going to have a hard time. She’s in her 40s, she is living a different lifestyle than you and she seems happy so why are you doubting that? Why do you feel the need to “save” her? I’d proceed in your shoes (recently divorced, assuming no sex in quite a while) and just have a fun sexual relationship. Just don’t expect anything meaningful to come out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:33 PM
7

Yes, go for what you deserve here. She’s not your friend and don’t hold back to be nice. She’s hoping you just fade away. It’s funny to me how supportive this sub is when the roles are reversed… but that’s a topic for another day.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 07:16 PM
3

It depends. I’ll never understand or relate to someone who is divorcing a spouse with children simply because they lost feelings for the other spouse. If there is abuse, neglect, constant fighting and yelling, sure. If you don’t have kids, who cares, leave for any reason. At the end of the day you are willingly giving up your right to see and parent your kids for X% of rest of their childhood. I don’t think I could have ever made that choice. And I didn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 03:15 PM
2

My year started in February, my Dad called me to tell me his brother isn’t doing well, has advanced cancer. So I fly down to Phoenix to see him, he gets moved to a hospice center while I’m there. While I am visiting him at the center my boss calls me to tell me the company is closing its doors, everyone will be paid for 2 months and then it’s done. Fast forward about 33 days later, I’m applying for jobs but haven’t even gotten a call back yet, I notice my wife has been acting off for a few weeks…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 03:56 AM
4

I’m bracing for this eventual day. I hope I can handle it as well as you did. I’m afraid it’s going to gut me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 05:20 PM
1

So many tattoos… bleh.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 02:19 PM
1

As someone who never had dating apps back when I was single before I got married, I certainly find it easy to be picky. It’s too easy just to swipe someone away because is the tiniest thing. And so many tattoos! Not my cup of tea. I’m being picky right now but I also don’t care if I’m single so that’s a pretty big difference between me now and late 20s single me who had gone years without much luck. I hear you on the hypocritical part. I’d really prefer to date someone without kids, which is a t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 02:19 PM
2

Jealous. I have kids so moving isn’t really an option. Otherwise I would have left the state already.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 02:12 PM
5

Feel this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 01:05 AM
26

Buddy you are the male version of the women you are complaining about on the apps.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 03:23 PM
1

More or less.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 09:48 PM
4

I think a lot of us felt lucky to be with the woman we married, that maybe we married out of our league or something like that. I’m super guilty of this and because of that line of thinking I realize now that I behaved to “not lose her” as opposed to being myself and nurturing our relationship. Trying to give her what I thought she wanted without even really knowing or asking if it was what she really wanted. It’s certainly both of our faults but I’d guess somewhere in there lies the reason a lo…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 08:30 PM
9

She has flat out told me she resented me for having to be the primary breadwinner. Yet I did all school drop offs, pickups, sick days, etc because my job was 100% remote. It didn’t pay too much but was incredibly flexible. I saved us about $25k/year by not having to pay a sitter, which means I would have had to make like $42k more per year to break even on on those two scenarios, but she sure doesn’t see it that way. Just that I was under applying myself… To be fair I resented her for being able…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 03:26 PM
2

I’m doing everything asked of me, we have two kids and I plan on buying her out of her half of the house. I wish it was simple enough I could just leave, I would have months ago.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 10:52 PM
1

Why can’t he do both?
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 08:43 PM
5

Because if you divorce nice and find someone else and get remarried, it just shows there were no real consequences from the first divorce. And you know how the process works and it’s not so scary.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 01:26 AM
9

I have a sense of duty to keep my family together which is the hardest part for me right now. I can live with being left, but she is also hurting my kids and my core belief in a nuclear family. It’s a hard pill to swallow.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 08:50 PM
5

I did the same thing on my response, I said I did not agree that the marriage could not be reconciled. I just wanted it recorded, for my own satisfaction.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 08:43 PM
3

Lost about 20-25 pounds since she dropped the bomb, and I have long term fitness goals like a Spartan Race. At first it was a combination of depression (not eating) but motivation to win her back by being sexy, but it just turned into therapy. It washes away the pain, sadness and anger.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 09:03 PM
14

Hurt people hurt people. Make sure she’s healed after her last breakup (make sure you are too). She was recently divorced and we had known each other for a few years so I thought that sort of helped with any thoughts of moving too soon. It wasn’t long before she was pushing for marriage, I mean really pushing. She would cry some days because I hadn’t proposed to her yet which just ended up putting a ton of pressure on me. Such a big red flag looking back, I almost left at the time but she was ou…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 03:43 PM
3

I too, was dumb enough to think love was enough and that having kids would cement the marriage because divorcing with kids in my mind was unthinkable short of some serious, serious problems. Honestly it probably made me complacent so I think that’s my part in this, but she’s leaving without trying to fix or change a thing which is just killing me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 03:35 PM
2

This sub has inspired me in a weird way - don’t be like some of the guys I see in here. Having your wife leave you is certainly an eye opening experience and no doubt will change many a world view, mine included. And I know emotions are raw in here. But man some of the posts and comments…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 07:44 AM
2

Not my monkey, not my circus. My new manta. I get the feeling my STBXW is hooking up but honestly I prepared myself for this since day one. Part of accepting she doesn’t want me anymore is accepting that means she will want someone else, whenever that may be.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 03:40 PM
5

It’s been my best therapy through this. Better than any of the therapists I’ve seen. Probably because it’s tangible, I can see it, and that’s motivating as hell.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 11:03 PM
2

As opposed to you, who just ignored his line about “people will tell you to hit the gym, and I’ve already been doing that” and just told him to go ahead and hit the gym.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 10:58 PM
-1

Well Texas sounds backwards then. Live in a Conservative State, you’re going to get Conservative outcomes. And you’d turn down CS if it was awarded to you?
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 06:58 PM
1

I hear you on the work on yourself advice. Like, what does it mean? What does it mean to “heal”? My advice - if you feel you’re plateaued on the things you are doing, do new things. Be a yes man, but the Jim Carrey movie Yes Man, not the bad kind. There has to be things you’ve always wanted for yourself, to do, to experience, but never got the chance too. I always wanted to be well-read, but just don’t love reading. Guess what I’m doing a lot of? I did a Sip and Paint class, I’m a terrible artis…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 06:30 PM
-9

I’ll get downvoted to death on this but honestly what would you do if the shoe was on the other foot? Your spouse took on the role of the breadwinner, you stayed at home to raise the kids, then you decided you were miserable and wanted out. What are your options? What would you personably do, are you all suggesting you wouldn’t try to be compensated?
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 05:30 PM
8

Currently in a race to “win the glow up” as I’m putting it. She got a head start on me but I’ve lost 25 pounds and am in the best shape I’ve been in in a long time, but still have a ways to go. Just gotta keep doing what I’m doing and not backslide. She is looking better than she has in a long time too and oh boy it ain’t easy living in the same house still.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 10:03 PM
1

Well there’s a lot more to it than that. I did my part to make the marriage spiral a bit. But essentially if the foundation wasn’t strong to start with, it was never going to last. Ultimately the reason doesn’t matter anyway. She wants to leave, the end result is the same no matter the reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:26 PM
2

You also get this benefit…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:19 PM
0

Yup. I struggled with her “switch flipping” until I ultimately realized I’d probably be doing the same thing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:13 PM
3

I was the rebound. We had known each other for a few years and found out soon after her now first divorce she had feelings for me. I had been in love with her for 2 years so this was music to my ears. We waited 3 months to date, I thought we gave it time to see if it was a rebound. Took our time, engaged after a year and married 1.5 years after our first date. 12 years later and she’s realizing she never healed and was a mess and I was what she thought she wanted at the time because I was the op…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 12:06 AM
2

Therapy, weight lifting, and any other thing that brings you peace - for me it’s been hiking and camping solo. Don’t drink or do drugs. You got this man. Money will come again.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 09:10 PM
4

Bruh, I’m 41 with 2 kids, one with special needs. What you complaining about.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 04:31 AM
8

If you are in a 50/50 state, and can’t reach an agreement, a judge will most likely order a sale. There are a lot of options out there, but you both have to agree to them. You could propose a deferred sale until the kids are 18, in which you eventually sell the house and split the proceeds, and you get exclusive use of the house until then. Or if you have enough non-house assets, you could offer to give her your 401k in exchange for 100% of the house, as an example. But keep in mind you will sti…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 06:59 PM
4

Use that pain to bust out a few extra reps. Don’t let her win. Make it awkward for everybody.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 05:16 PM
17

Not women, but the institution of marriage is ruined for me. Can’t see myself remarrying but I do hope I can fall in love again someday.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 06:18 AM
12

I’m struggling with the rejection. Like we had a good, not great marriage, at least the last half. First half was great. We worked hard to get to a good spot financially, we built a good life, a nice house, we have two kids. Like how bad of a partner must I have been to just burn it all to the ground? How bad must it be to destroy our little kid’s current life? To give up our house to go live in a shitty apartment (hasn’t happened yet but neither of us can afford anything nice individually)? Hel…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 04:09 PM
5

So I can even feel more dumb than my wife made me feel all the time? 😅
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 12:55 AM
5

I met my STBXW at work, while she was married. I had a huge crush on her but kept it repressed, and it was to the point I was ready to quit the job because I couldn’t handle working with her and not having her any more. Anyways, she quits the job and is moving back to her home state. Two weeks before she does, she tells me she is getting a divorce. She tells me after she’s done but a few weeks before moving she’s had feelings for me and I tell her the same. We agree to wait a few months to go on…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 08:48 PM
-3

No, never learned. I’m actually using voice chat to both read and write all of this so maybe something was missed in translation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 07:37 PM
-3

At the risk of this being shunned by this sub, there are two sides to every story. Maybe OP wants to tell the kids but she isn’t ready which is why she is dodging it. Obviously at some point the kids will need to be told but it’s delicate and this part of the process should be handled with care, devoid of any pettiness or anger.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 05:00 PM
6

My wife gets gout so I’m going to eat a million shrimp in the next few years to make up for lost time.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 03:06 PM
-6

It’s best for the kids if the parents tell them together as a unified front. As tempting as it is to do it alone and blame the wife, it should be a last option to do it solo.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 02:58 PM
2

If amicable, it’s common to negotiate half of any potential closings costs with the spouse you are buying out. If you think about it, there are a lot of benefits to being bought out versus selling - you don’t have to put any effort into selling and you get the money much faster. So if you think closings costs would be like 10%, it’s fair to split in a buyout since both parties would be paying it if they sold.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 02:55 PM
1

Were you living together when you bought the house?
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 04:21 AM
1

Well good luck my guy! Hope it works out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 08:41 PM
1

This is me right now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 08:16 PM
1

I was more asking about the specifics of a deal like 90% equity in a house that your ex wife owns.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 08:14 PM
1

If you keep rejecting her request for alimony, there is a good chance she’s just going to ask for more than if you amicably talked about it. Nothing pisses off a spouse in these negotiations more than having the other lawyer up and refuse to talk or negotiate. Source - am pissed off spouse seeking alimony from my future ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 08:06 PM
3

For the first two months after my wife told me she didn’t love me, every time I woke up it was like I was punched in the gut. I felt the weight and sadness of it immediately. I did therapy, worked out a ton, and hung out with friends as much as I could. One day I realized the feeling was gone. It’s still hard but I don’t have that instant panic anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 08:02 PM
1

Why would I split the cost of childcare I don’t benefit from? I tend to agree with the other poster, you don’t seem to grasp what can happen here. You keep mentioning “being comfortable”, well that’s likely going to be at the expense of your spouse and that’s the entire point of alimony, so one isn’t that much more comfortable than the other. Flip the script - what would you do in her shoes?
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 07:57 PM
1

How does this work? Going through this right now, I want to keep the house if for no other reason than the mortgage is cheaper than renting. I can’t afford to buy my wife out alone, so I’m always looking for alternative ideas. I live in a 50/50 state.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 02:13 PM
4

105k vs 36k isn’t a huge income gap?
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 12:39 AM
6

It’s just such a gamble to me. My STBX said she’s not in love, wants to be in love, wishes she was in love but she knows her heart, blah blah. Says the kids will be happier with two loving but separate parents. There is no proof of that. We have a daughter with special needs to boot, she isn’t going to understand why mommy isn’t here anymore, why daddy can’t tuck her in tonight. It’s going to be miserable. How is that better for her? Not every kid grows up better because of divorce. But as long …
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 09:48 PM
1

Apparently. OP didn’t even mention marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 07:14 PM
1

I’m finding this sub to be a double edged sword. Nice that I find others I relate to, but depressing hearing my story is a dime a dozen. Also there is a lot of woman hating on here and that’s just not my jam. But I love posts like this, to get ideas how to move on and become better.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 07:05 PM
7

I’m basically Jim Carrey in Yes Man right now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 06:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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