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cessandra Archive

View 0 posts and 90 comments by cessandra on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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No, I object to the part where she says her life gives her the heebie jeebies, and mocks the very idea of being 28 and married with kids. I'm referring to the fact that every single mention of her kids takes the tone that they are something to escape -- like the part where she spends all of her time daydreaming about the next time she can get away from them.
/r/MensRights04/10/12 06:06 PM

I'm a mom and I cut loose now and then. Actually, my husband and I have regular date nights and we both drink. But this mom... even if she really only does this "once in a blue moon" as she claims, she is quite clear that she is trying to escape a life she hates. She has children, but no desire to be a mature and responsible adult. Twenty-eight is a child bride, really? She has a terrible attitude, and surely it bleeds into her relationship with her kids.
/r/MensRights04/10/12 05:23 PM
9

No kidding. Thanks to Obama and his "give it all away" policy, I can no longer afford to have insurance at all. Through my husband's job, he is able to cover himself and all of our children for a reasonable fee. But adding a spouse -- ie, me -- DOUBLES the amount. So, thanks, Obama. Because of your generosity, I have to pay for all of my own healthcare out of pocket. (Though I'm glad my husband is the one who works and has insurance; he has more health concerns than I do.)
/r/MensRights04/10/12 04:01 PM
2

If all they'd done was question the guy, and perhaps warn him to stay away from those girls, even keep an eye on him in the future, I'd agree. While I think it's entirely possible that he was just a Good Samaritan, it's not a clear case and he could be a perv. BUT, you can't just arrest and prosecute someone who hasn't actually broken the law just because you have a suspicion that he intended to.
/r/MensRights21/03/12 08:54 PM
1

I wouldn't find it strange at all. I have often had people offer me a ride when I was walking, complete strangers, and even on sunny days. A couple of weeks ago I sent my 13yo son to the grocery store. While he was there, he ran into his friends' mom. Not only did she give him a ride home, she paid for the groceries. Why? Just to be nice. Nice people help each other out, and there's nothing odd about it. Even if it is odd, it's still not illegal. Even if he lied about why he offered a ride, that…
/r/MensRights21/03/12 08:49 PM
2

Exactly. As I said in /r/Libertarian, even if everything this guy said was a complete lie, and even if everything the girls / their parents / the cops / the DA suspects about this guy is true, he still didn't break the law. At worst, he intended to break the law. Unless the police start employing mind-readers or time travelers, we can't know for sure what someone's intent was, and criminalizing helpfulness just in case of bad intentions is going to make the whole country a worse place to live.
/r/MensRights21/03/12 08:33 PM
5

This is what happens when adults are afraid to stop and help children who appear to be lost or in need of assistance. And, just so you guys know, here is a website with a high percentage of female commenters who also think this story is ridiculous, and don't think men should be automatically viewed as potential molesters. And, another post from that site, with the story of a man who was afraid to help a lost little girl, and when he finally decided someone had to, was called a pervert.
/r/MensRights20/03/12 04:08 PM
4

He wasn't necessarily lying. The weather report for that day does say sleet. Sounds like the police are being pedantic and maybe just disagree with him over what is "dressed properly."
/r/MensRights20/03/12 04:02 PM
5

No, I have taught my children that most people aren't out to hurt them, and that if they are ever in danger or need help, they should approach the first adult they can find. And that, while they shouldn't get in a stranger's car, they should be polite and thank the person who most likely was just trying to be helpful.
/r/MensRights20/03/12 04:00 PM
15

He says he plead guilty because his family was moving out of the area and he apparently figured this was the easiest way to get past it. I don't think that's very clever, though.
/r/MensRights20/03/12 03:56 PM
2

My anecdote is that my father was an alcoholic and a drug addict who couldn't keep a job or a home and beat my mother. My brothers and I were raised by my mom and grandparents, with my other grandparents right down the road, and three wonderful uncles, so I had lots of terrific, positive male role models. My mom remarried when I was a teenager, so I also got an awesome step-father, two older step-brothers, and yet another set of terrific grandparents. I still suffered severe emotional trauma fro…
/r/MensRights09/03/12 01:33 AM
2

I would be very interested in a study with the genders reversed, as well as information on how much a loving, involved step-parent matters. My step-daughter has a very difficult time over her mother's lack of involvement, and I can't help but worry about the effects it may have as she becomes an adult.
/r/MensRights09/03/12 01:15 AM
1

It's ok. I think I got what you're saying there.
/r/MensRights14/02/12 06:19 AM
1

I was responding to this statement: I wouldn't be walking with a toddler. You gave what appeared to be supporting statements: that it was cold, and that the neighborhood is not the safest. I merely replied that even if you wouldn't have walked home as he did, there's no reason why he shouldn't. Now you are saying that the grandfather could have diffused the situation by giving ID and making conversation with the first cop. That's true, and I probably would have. However, he has a right not to do…
/r/MensRights14/02/12 12:48 AM

She wasn't a toddler, she was five. Clearly neither she nor her grandfather objected to the cold. And what do you think is going to happen, those four sex offenders were going to gang up and rip the child from her grandfather's arms? Nope, sorry, it takes the cops to do that.
/r/MensRights13/02/12 01:48 AM

It's a men's rights issue because no one would have batted an eye at a white grandma with a black kid. It's only men who are always running around abducting other people's children, donchaknow.
/r/MensRights13/02/12 01:41 AM

For some reason, there seems to be a perception of race as either "white" or "not-white." All the "not-white" people get lumped together. I've always found this odd, because I am a blonde, light-skinned Italian. I have relatives who are dark-haired and dark-skinned, and we're perceived as different races, when technically, we're both "white."
/r/MensRights13/02/12 01:31 AM
1

That makes sense.
/r/MensRights06/02/12 04:47 AM

I'm glad the judge did not rule in your ex-wife's favor, but I'm sorry she's only paying 1/3 of the college expenses. Half seems much more fair.
/r/MensRights06/02/12 12:12 AM

That's the only one I didn't agree with. I always cry over sweet or sad movies. Heck, when I was pregnant with my first I cried over a particularly poignant Public Service Announcement. :-P
/r/MensRights02/02/12 12:30 AM
2

According to that site, the existence of women who abuse men proves that men push women to violence. He was asking for it. :-\
/r/MensRights28/01/12 07:00 AM
1

You missed the best part of this quote, which is that it was in response to the question, "Is the Duluth Model evidence based?" IOW, "No, so let's change the subject."
/r/MensRights28/01/12 06:58 AM

How are cargo pants "hyper-masculine"? I'm wearing a pair right now. They're cute. Seriously, though, why is hyper-feminine ok for her son, but not hyper-masculine? She isn't freeing him from arbitrary restraints, she's teaching him that who he is is wrong. That's just cruel.
/r/MensRights28/01/12 06:40 AM

Sometimes my husband fondles me in his sleep. Usually when he does this, it wakes me up, then I fondle him until he wakes up. So, is he raping me, or am I raping him? Maybe we are both raping each other!
/r/MensRights28/01/12 03:21 AM
2

As a woman who has always been interested in computer science, I have no idea what intimidation they are talking about. I have never experienced anything like that. I have experienced the "Wow, are you REALLY a girl who knows about computers?????" but I haven't even heard that in years.
/r/MensRights24/01/12 01:20 AM
3

Frankly, I just can't wrap my head around this "we're too intimidated to take this class" nonsense. I'm a traditionally feminine type - quiet and shy until I really get to know you, that sort. I also never thought of myself as being good at math or science until after high school. But that never stopped me from taking math, science, or computer science classes that interested me. Good thing, too, since I never became a teacher like I expected, and worked in IT until I became a SAHM. Now I'm a ho…
/r/MensRights24/01/12 01:11 AM
10

The language didn't bother me at all. What drove me crazy was the way the rant wandered all over the place, constantly on the verge of getting to the point, then suddenly taking a sharp left. I could have said the same in a single paragraph, and actually gotten to the point: Women, having sex with someone does not constitute a relationship. If you want sex to come with a commitment, get the commitment FIRST. Otherwise, quit whining about something you agreed to and probably enjoyed.
/r/MensRights10/01/12 04:57 PM
1

I was saying it's sad for people to be dissatisfied with each other's bodies at all. However, I was never implying that women were unsatisfied with mens' bodies. The issues I was talking about, where women are unable to achieve orgasm, is an issue with their OWN bodies, not their lovers'.
/r/MensRights08/01/12 08:41 PM
1

That's awesome. Have an upvote.
/r/MensRights07/01/12 05:04 PM
1

That's sad. :(
/r/MensRights07/01/12 05:03 PM

Yes, but isn't that an assumption inherent to the question? I do want to say that simply asking this question has already changed my mind. My gut reaction was, "Because it's gross! It's gross because..." And then I discovered that I was wholly unable to complete that sentence with any rational or logical thought. So I changed my mind. So keep pointing out hypocrisy, guys -- it works! I wonder if my husband would like one of these as a surprise gift. ;)
/r/MensRights06/01/12 09:52 PM

I wonder if this has something to do with the fact that it is significantly more difficult for women to achieve orgasm than it is for men. Many women are incapable of having an orgasm through manual stimulation alone. (Some women are even incapable of achieving orgasm without the use of a sexual aid at all.) Am I incorrect in thinking that this would be very unusual, even abnormal, for a man?
/r/MensRights06/01/12 08:50 PM
1

Ok, that's a valid viewpoint.
/r/MensRights06/01/12 07:36 PM
1

I don't understand what you mean by that. That's what the law says. Haven't you ever heard of Felony Murder? If you and I commit a felony together, and I kill someone -- even if you had no idea I was going to, and even if it was an accident -- you would be held legally liable.
/r/MensRights06/01/12 07:32 PM

She didn't intend to kill the child either. It's like eeph said above, a getaway driver in a bank robbery may not have intended for anyone to die. But if the other robbers shoot a cop, everyone involved is equally liable.
/r/MensRights06/01/12 07:16 PM

According to the article, he claims they "decided together." So he admits to being involved in the decision. Both of them are seriously f-d up and deserve to be punished.
/r/MensRights06/01/12 07:13 PM

What made you decide to get the vasectomy as opposed to your fiance getting her tubes tied? My husband and I are trying to decide. (Yes, I've done the research, but I'd like to hear your perspective.)
/r/MensRights06/01/12 07:04 PM
1

Yeah, because they need to be mothers.
/r/MensRights06/01/12 06:41 PM
1

Actually, you are wrong. There are single quotation marks, and double quotation marks. Quotation marks can also be either directional or neutral. None of these characteristics changes the meaning of the mark.
/r/MensRights06/01/12 06:32 PM
2

Dude, my parents are from Boomjoogawga! Get some f-ing sensitivity! :P
/r/MensRights06/01/12 06:28 PM
1

Wow, I get that this is "a step in the right direction," but it makes me very sad that the onus is on fathers to register with the state and file a paternity action in court just to be NOTIFIED that someone is trying to take their child away. So, just don't tell a man that he's going to be a father, and he loses all rights and it's legally his own fault???
/r/MensRights06/01/12 05:57 PM
5

"Used to be." Lots of words and phrases have offensive roots. For example, Down's Syndrome is named after John Landon Down, a racist bastard who came up with the idea that mental retardation ("idiots") could be categorized according to similarities to "inferior" races. For example, "Ethiopian Type Idiots" and "Mongolian Type Idiots." He is the reason that people with Down's Syndrome used to be called Mongoloids. Meanwhile, time and language march on, and in common usage, "person with Down's Synd…
/r/MensRights06/01/12 05:09 PM

No, I understand that. We're lucky compared to how things could be. I just imagine a world where both parents actually contribute to their children's well being. Maybe one day, in a land far, far away...
/r/MensRights06/01/12 01:50 AM
1

When Caperslol said, "So I don't think the system is biased against fathers," he was quoting someone else and disagreeing with them.
/r/MensRights06/01/12 12:11 AM

Meh, I don't think you'd like that as much as you think. Then you'd be in my situation: Husband and I have custody of his kids, because he was the one with a stable home and job when custody was decided. The ex has no job and pays no child support, and just sweeps in and plays Mommy whenever it suits her. We provide the clothes the kids wear to her house, and then get screwed when she brings them home in totally inappropriate clothes and no shoes. We bought the kids cell phones so they could cal…
/r/MensRights06/01/12 12:02 AM

Where do people get this idea? When I run into a neighbor or acquaintance while I'm running errands alone, they always ask who's watching the kids. Seriously?? Their father! What do they think, I hired a sitter to watch the kids while Daddy watches TV? The hilarious part is that he was a single custodial father when we got married; everything I know about parenting I learned from him.
/r/MensRights08/10/11 05:11 AM
3

I actually read an article last year about how men are better at dieting. The writing style was much, much less inflammatory, basically phrasing it as, "Men tend to be more successful at dieting. Here's what we can learn from them." I think this article could have gotten across the same point ("Women are more conservative investors, and it pays off. Here's what we can learn from them.") without the inflammatory language.
/r/MensRights14/06/11 05:10 PM
2

This comment blew my mind: The poster absolutely doesn't imply that every man is a rapist who hasn't committed it yet. I don't see where you got that idea. It implies that men who back off of girls who are too drunk to consent are preventing rape. Just like how every woman who chooses not to lock her kids in the car and send it into a lake is preventing child murder, right? Wow, I've been preventing child murder every day for the last 10 years! I should get a medal for that, right?
/r/MensRights13/06/11 04:35 AM
1

I'm all right. Some kids have to live with the selfish, psycho parent while the good parent isn't allowed to see them. So, in that way, I'm pretty lucky.
/r/MensRights09/06/11 12:40 PM

I can empathize. My dad was an alcoholic drug addict who beat my mother. After the divorce, he never paid a cent of child support, disappeared for months (and eventually years) on end, and even denied the existence of my youngest brother. Meanwhile, my mother sacrificed everything for us, gave him every opportunity to see us, and refuses to speak ill of him to this day (and he's been dead nearly 15 years.) Having gone through the pain of that abandonment by the man who was supposed to love and p…
/r/MensRights09/06/11 01:55 AM
2

Why would anyone refuse to believe these guys? Am I a mind reader, to say, "No, that's not what you want / feel / believe - you're lying!" FTR, while I've never had sex on a first date, I once went home with a perfect stranger, got half naked and fooled around on his live webcast. We've now been happily married for 8 years. I don't really recommend that sort of thing, but it sure was fun when I was 19 and stupid.
/r/MensRights09/06/11 01:25 AM
9

At least the general consensus in the comments (looking at the best and worst rated comments) is against the stalker busybody and sympathetic to the poor man she's harassing.
/r/MensRights06/06/11 02:00 PM
1

Thank you. :-)
/r/MensRights06/06/11 05:42 AM

My much beloved grandfather (best man I ever knew) died of prostate cancer, so it's an issue close to my heart. However, I always hesitate to donate to "causes" at the grocery counter because I have no idea where the money actually goes. Does anyone know what charity receives the funds, or how the money is spent?
/r/MensRights06/06/11 05:04 AM
5

What if a church sign said, "Why do brides wear white? So the dishwasher will match the refrigerator!" It's just a joke, and honestly it doesn't even bug me when my husband or brother-in-law says it because I know they're joking, but I'd be pretty offended to see it on a church sign.
/r/MensRights05/06/11 11:19 PM
8

Reading some of the other articles linked in this thread, the conflicts amount to a) the dad isn't comfortable with the proposal of unsupervised visitation with the mom (who, he found out, also considered killing the baby) ; and b) the kid throws tantrums when he is separated from his father, which some shrink is blaming on the dad. The latter is pretty common custody BS - a kid doesn't want to leave his parent to go back to whatever guardian, so the system decides it's easier to cut off visitat…
/r/MensRights13/04/11 05:04 PM
1

Honestly? More like thinking out loud than trying to make a point.
/r/MensRights20/03/11 08:19 AM
1

That's not really what I was suggesting. There are easier ways to be sexy than learning to code. But if you are interested in computers, there's positive reinforcement.
/r/MensRights20/03/11 08:08 AM
1

So you're saying that all programmers suffer a stigma of being nerds, but women care more about that? Interesting thought. What about the positive social reinforcement that female geeks are sexy? Because that's more the message that I've heard.
/r/MensRights20/03/11 12:14 AM
1

Can I ask, what is the stigma women have against female programmers? I ask in earnest, because I've never heard anything disparaging.
/r/MensRights20/03/11 12:09 AM
4

I had a pretty good rebuttal, but I suppose you're right that it's not really a good tack to take. It just burns me when I hear feminists whinging on about women in technology without the slightest lick of understanding of the subject. I see a kernel of truth in what this author says, and I didn't read it as meaning to say that women were inferior - plus I thought the rest of the article was so good - but it might not be worth the argument.
/r/MensRights20/03/11 12:03 AM
3

Me too. I love my mom, she did the best she could in a situation not of her own making, but I needed a father. The idea that some women would do that to their own children on purpose just disgusts me.
/r/MensRights19/03/11 07:59 PM
5

This article left me wondering if the author would agree: If the glorification of the macho male is sexist, so is the glorification of the sensitive male? If it's sexist to say that little boys can't cry, wear pink, or play with dolls, so is it to say they can't be tough, wear blue, or play with toy guns? If it's sexist to say that men can't be daycare workers, teachers, or stay at home dads, it is also sexist to say they should be? Can't everyone just be who they are? Also, the title and the la…
/r/MensRights19/03/11 07:36 PM

Let me couch this by saying that I am a woman. I used to work in IT, and now that I'm a SAHM, I write PHP for fun. Most women are not as interested in technology. Of the women I know who are in tech, most are either in design or people management. None of the women I know socially are even slightly interested in hearing about my coding. Assuming that people are naturally interested in subjects where they are talented, there are two options. Either most women are not talented with tech, or women …
/r/MensRights19/03/11 06:56 PM
2

I don't know about engineering, but in technology women are very welcome. I know this from personal experience. Especially a girl who can code. ;-)
/r/MensRights19/03/11 06:25 PM
2

Wow. facepalm
/r/MensRights14/03/11 03:14 AM
1

I can totally understand that! I had a daughter after three sons, and when I found out I was much more nervous than pleased. It's a little scary taking a step into the unknown! Now, of course, I wouldn't give up any of my daughters OR my sons for anything!
/r/MensRights14/03/11 03:10 AM
3

No, the mom who has custody went after the other mom. The mom who is paying support went after the sperm donor, so she wouldn't have to pay it all herself.
/r/MensRights10/03/11 03:11 PM
1

I don't have MTV. Link?
/r/MensRights23/02/11 05:28 PM

She knocked him down. It would have been assault if she'd pushed him with her hands and knocked him down; that would be bad enough. Using her car to push him was incredibly reckless, and could have caused serious injury. For the record, I once accidentally backed into a car at a gas station. The owner of that car was standing by his open door, and he got knocked on his ass. (He was a cop. An incredibly nice and understanding cop. Ooops.) From my first hand experience, even though it's not the sa…
/r/MensRights23/02/11 08:40 AM

That shouldn't be necessary. It wasn't necessary that a majority of women experienced rape or domestic abuse first hand before we took those problems seriously. It shouldn't be necessary for a majority of men to have their families and lives destroyed before this is taken seriously. It should be enough right now. I don't understand why it's not.
/r/MensRights23/02/11 08:20 AM

BTW, I do call them on it. I just never fail to be shocked by the way that some women seem to think the incompetence of all men is an accepted fact.
/r/MensRights23/02/11 04:56 AM
2

Who aren't they? The pastor's wife, the moms in the homeschool group, my brother's ex, the neighbor I run into at the grocery - basically all the women I have to talk to even though they aren't my friends (because the women I choose to befriend actually have respect for their husbands).
/r/MensRights23/02/11 04:51 AM

What I mean is that other women say these things to me about my husband. I don't give a crap if other people want to disparage their own spouses, but just because her husband is a moron doesn't give her the right to assume mine is.
/r/MensRights23/02/11 04:40 AM
6

This is the most infuriating thing I have read all day.
/r/MensRights23/02/11 04:23 AM
3

Nope, that's pretty awful, too.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 11:43 PM

Personally, I have simply heard this meme too many times, and I get sick of the implication that the man I love is some lazy, insensitive ass who I should be trying to "fix." You might be surprised how often women say things like this to each other when the men aren't around - other women just casually refer to my husband as my 8th child, grill me about having my hands full when I should "make him carry that," and act totally shocked that he's capable of watching his own children while I go to t…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 10:33 PM

I canceled my subscription to Parenting magazine a few years back after they ran an article about how to train / discipline your husband as though he were a child. I didn't care for most of the crappy advice anyway, but that was the last straw.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:49 PM
1

Maybe, maybe not. When I was in middle school I was jumped and beaten up by a group of other girls right in the middle of gym class. Then I was suspended. Sometimes, school officials are just incompetent assholes.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 04:54 PM
1

Can I lecture you on Playboy being lame, and there being much better porn out there? LOL. ;-)
/r/MensRights22/02/11 04:32 PM
1

I almost empathized with Heartless, right up until she said her boyfriend should have been more sensitive. There have been times that I told my husband that I wanted one thing, but when I got it, realized it wasn't what I wanted at all. It's disappointing. And I have even made the mistake of doing a terrible job of explaining to my husband why I was disappointed, and caused him to feel like he couldn't do anything right. I really suck at talking about feelings like that. IMO, that's the time for…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 04:00 PM
1

Well, sort of. Oxytocin is released, which triggers the lovey, mother-baby bond. It's the same hormone released during orgasm. Endorphins are also released, but that doesn't make the comparison moot because that also happens during other painful events -- like for example a couple days ago when I got a body piercing. Also, Pitocin, which is the artificial version of Oxytocin, is administered in an alarmingly high number of labors and interferes with the natural release of Oxytocin and negates so…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 08:55 AM
1

Just to give an example from my own experience. I don't like to have an epidural when I give birth. I have a high tolerance for pain, and a low tolerance for needles, and I don't see the point in having them jab a giant needle into my spine to alleviate pain I don't have (or rather, that isn't bothering me). For some reason that completely escapes me, OBs and maternity nurses find this infuriating. So here's how it usually goes down. First they try to harass me into consenting by pestering me ev…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 08:28 AM
1

Ok, I should admit up front that I have serious problems with doctors. I have had a lot of bad experiences. Personally, I think this is a case of doctors being assholes more than discrimination against men. I've given birth five times, and every single time I was pregnant or in labor, I had to deal with at least one doctor trying to treat me like a stupid child. And it's not because I'm a woman; they were equally rude and dismissive towards my husband. IMO, that's what this is -- doctors think t…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 07:48 AM
1

I dunno, I'm lazy and I didn't think it was that bad, LOL. ;)
/r/MensRights22/02/11 06:24 AM
1

Interesting. My husband used to work as a body piercer and tattoo artist, and it was his experience that women said "ouch" (IOW, reacted to the pain) much sooner than men, but were able to deal with it for longer. Of course, the plural of anecdote is not data, so if that's not what the studies say then I won't argue. Personally, I have given birth five times, and I don't think I would say that childbirth is the worst pain a person can experience. It hurts, but it's a productive kind of hurt, and…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 06:23 AM

Hmmm, sort of interesting and sort of disturbing. I wonder why women lack confidence in their careers? Is it inherent, or could it maybe have to do with being told all their lives that the whole system was against them and that they couldn't succeed unless the government stepped in and fixed it for them? I find it very disturbing that the conclusion drawn from "women are holding themselves back" is that companies should go out of their way to make sure women succeed whether those women want it o…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:50 AM

This is so incredibly sad. I used to teach preschool, and the mom of one of the little boys in my class approached me one day to ask if it would be ok to try taking her son off of his ADD meds. I was shocked, because I just couldn't see ANY way that this sweet little boy could have ADD -- he was just a normal little boy, and as far as I was concerned he was still a normal little boy without his meds. (I was also shocked that the mom thought she needed MY permission to stop her son's medication.)…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:32 AM

Personally, and I can only speak for myself, I don't think it's sexist for men to prefer large boobs over small; it's just a preference. I myself have small boobs, and I am not even the slightest bit offended if that's not your (the general "your") preference. It would be like getting offended because I'm blonde and you like redheads -- just stupid. Especially because plenty of guys like blondes and small boobs. ;) As far as small / big dicks go, I would think that the size of the dick is not th…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:18 AM
11

Classic nanny state, save the poor girls who are too stupid to know they're objectifying themselves. Personally, I would totally hire a service like that (and I'm female and straight). Heck, I'd totally work for a service like that - I bet it would make cleaning a lot more fun!
/r/MensRights17/02/11 09:24 PM
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