TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

chalkandapples Archive

View 0 posts and 3,892 comments by chalkandapples on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 3,892 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
–

Personalities are difficult to change, it can be done but I don't recommend trying. But social skill is something that can be learned. You can't make yourself an extrovert if you're an introvert, but you can be good at talking to people and have decent charisma. I am a very extreme introvert, I used to freeze whenever people say Hi to me. When I first started working, I didn't even know what to do when a coworker walks up to me and said "nice to meet you". It wasn't until I saw another person sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 07:10 AM
–

There's 2 things at play here: The current social security structure depends on constantly having more people to take care of the current crop of old people. Given our current population, it's not sustainable. Constantly having an above replacement level birth rate is also bad. It's a bit pyramid scheme like and we need a better system. Birth rate declines when women gets educated and a choice because the current men and women dynamic makes it such that given free will, we don't want too many ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 08:35 AM
1

No, my parents mentioned divorce one time during an argument and I cried in the bathroom for like 2 hours and they never mentioned it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 07:48 AM
0

I visually cannot tell the difference between a SUV and a Minivan. Like I just looked up 2 images of them and if you didn't tell me which one is which, I couldn't tell you. Cars today all look so similar...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 07:45 AM
2

Then you should seriously look for someone that will make that happen. The thing is some people are well suited for being a home maker. Others are better suited for working outside the home. That's why some women want to be stay at home moms and others don't. What we needed was the freedom to choose. Also, wanting that lifestyle and the reality of that lifestyle is different. There are risks to clipping your wings and totally trusting someone else to carry you financially. I think most guys, eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:01 AM
1

I like the idea of approaching men. I think it's a good thing to be in control of who you choose to start a romantic connection with. I prefer to make an offer rather than waiting for someone else to make an offer, I feel more in control and I think you get better results that way. But I'm also very shy, and my desire for men just doesn't surpass my shyness. Whenever I think about approaching a man, my shyness takes over and I would rather not have a chance at dating than talk to a stranger like…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 06:42 PM
10

I don't think any woman is complaining that they have to cook, clean, and do laundry for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 02:47 PM
1

I don't think that's what most people mean when they talk about standards. Given that definition, it's impossible for anyone to have standards in relationships. Because no one is an authority figure over another person in the context of a relationship. Both parties are just a person, and don't have any authority over what is objectively valuable in another person.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:59 AM
3

Yeah, children used to have many caretakers. It's not normal for the parents to be the sole caretakers. I grew up in a very tight knit community, and everyone took turns taking care of kids. I was able to run around the neighborhood and knew every adult there. If I needed any help, I can go up to any adult and that felt really nice, your world was so big compared to what I see kids are like today. I have 3 kids now, and I feel like a lot of parents that don't want help is partially doing it for …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:53 PM
1

What's your definition of a standard and preference?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:56 PM
1

Standards have nothing to do with with your value. You having higher standards doesn't mean you have higher value, it's just what you need to start a relationship with someone. It's up to the other person if they want to date me, but what I need doesn't really change.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:20 AM
3

I don't know. I got what I want, just not immediately when I started dating. I had an idea of what I wanted when I started dating, and just never continued dating anyone if they didn't meet that standard. It took 2 years for me to meet the person that met all those standards, we've been married for almost 6 years now and everything has been great. If a year into dating I gave in and settled for someone else, I wouldn't have met my husband and that would've been tragic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:16 AM
2

Men are the best they've ever been. People in general are the best they've ever been really.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:11 AM
–

My husband and I have the exact opposite situation as typical couples I guess. His tolerance for a messy house and generally chores not being done is so much lower than mine. As a result he just does everything before it even registers as a problem for me. Similarly during vacations, he must have everything planned and if I were to plan a vacation a bunch of stuff will go wrong and that bothers him more than me. He also looks through our finances carefully, thinks about investments, tax mitigati…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:07 AM
–

It's normal for same gender people to click better with each other. That's why most friendships are same gender. That's also why men and women have lust for each other, otherwise they'll just stick with their own gendered groups with no reason to hang out with the opposite gender. The lust kind of starts the initial desire for men and women to want to be with each other, and after that familiarity and familial bond holds it together.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 06:46 AM
3

If you're going to date anyone serious then absolutely you need to care about the amount of debt they're in. All kinds of debt, not just student debt. Of course everyone would want someone with money than not, even if they're not in debt. If you have money, you're the one that need to decide on your own standards and boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 02:40 PM
2

The only way you can do that without forcing is to allow the people that naturally don't find the opposite sex that attractive to just not date and not have kids. In the past both men and women were kinda socially forced or pressured to get together and have kids even if they're not that into each other. This really only take 1 generation to correct. Just leave the people that aren't interested alone and don't give them any pressure, don't have kids with them, and the next generation should only…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 02:35 PM
1

As long as he takes it out before it becomes a problem (eg. we miss trash day or the trash becomes so full no one can put anything in it anymore) that's fine. He can say no as long there's a good reason for it. Normally it won't just be a no, it would be like no I'm busy with something else, or no I'm really tired today can you do it or something. Most of the time it's not a problem because my husband is on top of things and I have never had the thought that I had to tell him what to do, things …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:20 PM
7

Power imbalances in and relationship, romantic, platonic or in business, it doesn't mean it is always bad. But it's risky and statistically bad for the person with less power. We're saying that this is a risky situation for the person with less power to put themselves in and giving them that warning. I would be super on alert for example if a 40 year old wanted to be in a business partnership with my 20 year old little brother. It doesn't always mean the 40 year old have malicious intent but it'…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:15 PM
1

We already have 3 kids and don't want anymore. But it would be really weird if he didn't tell me. I would ask why.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 04:15 PM
1

I'm not sure what I said has to do with evolution. Nothing I said had anything to do with reproduction or sexual success. But if we are talking about evolution, evolution didn't stop when we figured out how to farm or invented more and more tools. What is considered the fittest was always those that can procure the most resources. That can be through physical strength, hard science type of intelligence, or social intelligence. The reality is that individual humans can only grow so strong without…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 05:23 AM
1

Men used to be forced into war and violent situations. They didn't do it because they naturally wanted to, they just had to. Now that they don't have to, it's normal to "soften" up to match your environment. Everyone does it. Yeah, men that survived war would think being scared of talking to a girl is silly, but that's because those men experienced too much pain and that's not a good thing. All problems become nothing if your life is threatened or if you're at risk of starving to death. But the …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 05:33 PM
–

That's good, having children should come from your own internal desire. It's not something that you should be pressured into doing. That's not good for you or the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 04:38 PM
–

If I had no children, absolutely not. If I did have children, then I can consider it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 02:35 PM
–

My parents told me I'm literally the smartest kid ever and any company would have struck gold if they hired me. I didn't actually take that at face value and still studied and tried hard at my job searches because one look at the world you can see how things actually are. I just took it as my parents really loved and believed in me. I don't understand how people can keep believing something when it's easy to see contradictory evidence all the time in real life, especially when you know the sourc…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:51 PM
–

You're probably more of an extrovert than me. I am completely fine with minimally socializing and spending most of my time playing video games and spending time with already well established friends. I had my socialization needs filled by coworkers and a few close friends. I had no desire to hang out with strangers, and dating especially early on is pretty much just doing stuff with strangers. Like if I wanted to go to a restaurant or a ski trip or something, I would rather do it with my friends…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:01 AM
–

I'm sure there's people that can multi-task better than me, but I can definitely relate to people that do better just focusing on one thing at a time. It's not a time issue for me, but a focus issue. When I wanted to focus on career, I just didn't want to deal with a relationship. My brother was a bit of an anomaly with his start up, but I feel the same with with a W2 job. I made it to manager, which was cool. But if you have me a few more years I would've had a good shot at director. If I was a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:14 AM
4

Young people lack communication skills, don't know themselves or what they want well, don't have enough life experience to read other people well, and often don't know how to hold a boundary well. Having very high self esteem, like from supportive parents, can help with some of that, but a lot of it still just comes from being young and dumb. Relationship dynamics are changing rapidly. Traditional dating paths give you some type of expectation and assurance in how things will turn out. As people…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:00 AM
–

Men do have a bit less of a time crunch than women, but that doesn't mean time is on their side or that things get better with time. Generally men CAN choose to put relationships on the backburner a bit compared to women. This is the typical family / career choice women have to deal with that men have an easier time with. I chose to focus on my career in my early to mid 20's, and only started dating until I was in a very good financial and career position, basically a middle manager position. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:09 AM
3

I don't really care to learn about what men are like in general. Individually I care about what they are like as people, but not as men specifically. I was someone that wasn't very into dating or romance though, and was ok with or without a relationship. When dating I just tell / show people who I am and when you do that, only the people that like you stay. The ones that don't like you leave and therefore becomes kinda irrelevant to my life. So I guess I selectively create a situation where effe…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:46 AM
2

I was a virgin at 28. I sometimes brings it up around 3rd - 4th date, or sooner if I feel like the man is trying to have sex earlier and explain the situation. I come across as very reserved / shy, and talk like a prude, so most guys kinda just assume I won't have sex until at least a relationship. Very often the guy brings it up second date because they sensed that I wouldn't be ok with having sex early and wanted to confirm. Men can have expectations of when sex happens, but you can have your …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 11:23 PM
1

Yeah, parents care more about their kids and the ratio of teacher to kids is much higher. I'm sure my parents could've done a better job teaching me than any of my teachers. But they had work and it would've been massive overkill. My dad was almost a national level champion in math contests. I didn't need someone like that to teach me basic artithmitic. Unless I'm struggling, then they can step in, which they do. Also it's nice to have friends in school and deal with different teachers and their…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:48 AM
1

I'm agnostic and that's the right way. Explore all ideas and make your own conclusions.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:37 AM
3

Do you think you'd have a lot of success dating in 2026? - Not sure, I'm quite shy so that works against me. But I'm naturally masculine, so women might be more attracted to it. It's a wash. My brother is pretty successful at dating so if I go by that I'm good. Do you think you'd treat women well according to society's standards? - Yes, it's just being a good person Do you think you'd be more content than the average male today? - Yes, but I'm more content than most people and the same factors w…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 07:44 PM
3

I try to have a positive impact on people I interact with in general. It doesn't bother me much if I don't, but I like to make a mild effort because why not? However, it's very hard to make this type of impact online since you know very little about the person, but you're still debating so you're basically throwing generic thoughts in the void and hoping it might randomly fit the situation of a stranger. Statistically I think probably did have a positive impact on some people. Even if they don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 10:13 PM
3

I think you under estimate how high medical machinery costs, even for things much simpler than an artificial womb. If you truly want to go this way, getting a surrogate probably won't be that much more expensive than waiting for artificial wombs. We have much more low maintenance medical machines that charges an arm and a leg to run for just a few hours, imagine tying up a much more complex and high maintenance machine for 9 months and the medical bills associated with that. Seriously if this is…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:35 AM
1

5'10. When I was online dating I was looking for 5'8 and above.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 05:05 PM
2

I like cruises, I don't mind the small rooms and the people. And no wifi is a great way to disconnect. That and free food makes it a relaxing experience, and the views of the water is great. I bring video games and a book or something and it's great. I like having everything taken care of for me and I can just chill.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 06:43 PM
1

I'm married now, but back when I started dating: I go for smart people, generally young professionals in a technical field that's science or math related (eg. I like engineers and doctors, but not so much lawyers). I also tend to like soft spoken guys that are sweet and not hyper masculine. I like it when they have a good support system and have good relationships with their parents. I go for people that have similar earning potential as me. Goal is marriage and children / building a family and …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 01:14 AM
6

Nothing completely unique, but it's a lot easier for men to do physical things than women because of their strength. It doesn't matter, there's nothing anyone can do that can't be done by someone else. And that's ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:08 PM
4

Women don't find male sexuality repulsive, but women will find sexual attention from men they don't like repulsive. Men don't feel such a strong repulsion towards unwanted female attention because of the difference in physical strength and less consequences in having sex for men. Men do not have the same instinctive fear women do when a woman shows him unwanted sexual attention. You're lucky you can't relate. Because it means it's something you never had to worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 09:53 PM
3

I mean, lots of women would fight and die for their kids. Most people when given something they care about enough will fight for it. It's just that people disagree on what's important.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 05:38 PM
21

I almost never wonder why a guy does something I don't like. There can be so many reasons, maybe because other girls like it, maybe because his friend told him to do that, maybe because his mom told him to do that, maybe he just prefers it that way. Especially early in dating, we're just trying to find compatibility. He doesn't need to give me an explanation for who he is, it's up to me to discover who he is and if I want to continue dating him given what I know. I don't expect or want anyone to…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:36 AM
1

I don't expect a boyfriend to spend more money on me than I would on him. I treat a boyfriend like a friend, and don't expect him to pay for me for no reason. Lots of guys do want to pay and insist, and I don't really fight them on it. Like if a friend insists on paying for me... sure go for it. Once we're married though, then we're family, joint accounts so there's really no sense of yours or mine. I don't expect my husband or boyfriend to do the sidewalk thing, I wouldn't even notice it. It do…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:31 AM
–

Yeah I don't think it's a good idea to mold yourself into someone that's fundamentally not yourself for someone else. I guess when I was thinking about the type of person that I liked, that person would naturally appreciate someone with my personality, so the type of person that person would like would still be someone that's similar to me but maybe with certain self improvements that I would want to improve on anyways. It's not a foolproof strategy, but it's how I think about it and it's given …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:18 AM
–

I was single when I started being in here, and how I'm curious once in a while to see what it's like. And honestly you have more to talk about the more you're in a relationship. When I wasn't in a relationship I had nothing to contribute really. I guess I can complain but I'm not the type to do that, I mostly lurked. And once I was in a relationship I had more thoughts to share, even more when I got married, and more once I had kids. Also, if only single people debated in a space about relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 08:18 PM
–

Honestly I feel this in my real life. When I dated no one cared about cooking and cleaning, and I sucked at that. Most guys are happy my standards are so low for cleanliness because I guess they don't need to meet a high standard for themselves. Guys cared more about how good I was at video games than how much I can cook or clean. Online is the only space where I have ever heard guys say they cared about how much a woman can cook or clean, and I guess older people would say that. I have never fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 08:09 PM
1

Maybe that's how you act when you're young. But eventually you figure out you can't act all the time and any relationship you find when acting are not sustainable anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:21 PM
4

Men do lust more than women when it comes to pure lust. Men can feel lust simply because someone is a woman, but much less women feel lust simply because someone is a man. For example, I am attracted to men in a way that I don't feel towards women. But I like the men I do mostly because of who they are as people, not because of their maleness. I feel like men are more prone to liking someone simply because she is female. Not many women I know likes someone simply because he's male. There are wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:43 AM
1

Everyone is different and need different things emotionally. Some people really want people to need them, others don't and it puts lots of pressure on them. For you, you might connect better by actually needing someone, but others might connect better after having some independence and individualism as well. I also don't want people to need me like your ex, so I can relate. I would be super stressed out if someone is very dependent on me emotionally. I had situations where anything I said or did…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:30 AM
2

Although society is very relationship focused, it's more so that it's youth focused and relationships and sex is what the youth focus on. It's a big focus during your teens, 20's and early 30's, and that's the age group that most media focus on. I was a late bloomer and started my first relationship pretty late. Everyone around me used to talk about dating and relationships all the time, but by the time I finally got into one and can contribute to those discussions, everyone moved on and stopped…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:44 PM
1

I am a pretty wealthy woman that married a wealthy man and when I was dating wanted someone that made equal or more than I did so maybe I can shed some light on it. Very few actual wealthy or high earning woman expect the man to pay for everything and her to just accumulate money. Because money is no longer that much of a point of contension in everyday life. But I wanted someone that makes equal or more because why not? A whole family can live off of just my income, but if I find someone that m…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 05:39 PM
1

Honestly your advice is pretty good. The only additional advice I would give is to aim to be successful financially as well. Mostly because my social circles are all people that are financially successful, so that's the only framework and setting I have seen dating in. I can only give advice on how to date or interact with people I know well and therefore can predict well. Basically figure out who you like, and think about what type of person that person would like, and become that person. You d…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:38 AM
2

I'm in liberal circles and those that oppose AI doesn't care about that aspect at all. It's mostly because it's at least being blamed for lots of job loss and concentrate power at the hands of those that have access to AI or controls it. And also we're most in tech and have a love hate relationship with AI and our jobs right now. I personally love AI though.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:36 AM
–

Need is a pretty descriptive word for it. Also, women all kind of understand what we mean by not need because we have a point of comparison for what needing was. In the past women actually needed men to survive, legally you can't stand on your own and much less income potential. It was not a "I need this because I'm so lonely/miserable otherwise" kind of need, it was a "I can't stay alive" kind of need. I think women are describing it accurately, but men never needed women that way. So they thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:14 AM
1

It's not hard to understand 90% of the other gender's issues based off of common sense and basic understanding of people. Lots of people just choose not to or intentionally misunderstand in order to frame things that shows themselves in the best light.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 09:14 AM
3

I don't need men for money to survive. But who doesn't want more money? Men doesn't need a good looking woman to survive / have a child with, but who doesn't want a good looking partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 09:11 AM
4

I'm sure my husband wouldn't have chosen me off of a dating app. I'm very asocial and all my cues that I like someone is too subtle for any normal person to get. Only on dating apps can I actually show interest in a way people can notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 09:03 AM
0

If we're just doing that then I don't think anyone's bothered by that. We tend to criticize and tell people to stop complaining when the complaining is taking place of action. And often I do find that complaining tend to externalize your situation rather than internalizing it. While externalizing things makes you feel better and may stop you from blaming yourself for things not in your control, doing it too much may convince you that you have less agency than you think. You're more likely to tak…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:02 AM
0

I mean kinda. You can't just try nothing and expect the market to bend to you. Some people got very well paid 50 years ago simply because they would type fast, that type of opportunity isn't going to be viable today.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 09:14 PM
1

I wasn't arguing against it being a skill issue, I used the word out skilled specifically to tie it back to the op. But I was replying to the comment I replied to where he seems to have a concern that no one can be held accountable to anything because everyone was influenced by their parents, and the blame will keep going back forever. I'm saying you can give people grace and understanding because of external circumstances, but at the same time not letting criminals off the hook if they have com…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 04:13 AM
15

I think they're totally capable of it. My husband and brother both have a very strong friend circle where they talk about everything. It's probably a symptom of being taught to not show vulnerability, a very common way to have emotional closeness is to show vulnerability.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 09:30 PM
1

That's what I said. You can have a very legit and sympathetic reason for doing something but that doesn't excuse you if you committed a crime. But dating abusers is not a crime and the victim is yourself, the consequences happened in the sense they dated someone abusive. Unless the only men they ever attract or abusers, they still have a choice in which men they choose to date. But some people are bad at reading people, or get unlucky, or their opponent (the person trying to trick them) out-skil…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 09:21 PM
1

I agree that you shouldn't externalize everything that goes wrong and be proactive in getting better when there's a skills issue. You can be accountable and know there are things you can improve and change at the same time as having sympathy and understanding from other people. Unless this person has kids that they're putting in abusive situations, it's weird for bystanders to so strongly demand accountability to the point of getting angry and antagonistic, when the victim is the women themselve…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 09:15 PM
15

Many criminals are that way because of their upbringing and environment. But we don't excuse serial killers because the crime overshadows any sympathetic circumstances. But in situations where people attract abusers, they only hurt themselves, which lets us be more sympathetic and want to help them instead. I'm not sure what you want in terms of accountability. They often already faced consequences for any skill issue that they have. Most people would want to help them improve that skill.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:01 AM
9

Look at my friends, if they're actively trying and not just passively looking - seems like once a month (assuming all of the first dates didn't work out, because obviously if you start going on more dates with one person the number of first dates will go down)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:53 PM
9

I don't feel anything. If they're asking me for advice or opinion I would tell them to not date anyone that they think is too much work or feels draining to them. If it happens to be all women, then so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:50 AM
2

Yes please, pregnancy sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 08:32 PM
1

It's fine in the sense that it's morally ok. I might not be emotionally ok for a bit, but that's a part of life. I got rejected from my dream college program and felt devastated (I made my parents get off work early because I couldn't sit with myself. It felt like the entire future I was imaging just disappeared in a second and I had terrible coping skills back then), but the college didn't do anything wrong by rejecting me. Life went on, and honestly if I got into that program, I might be less …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:42 AM
–

It was just fear. Like I know it's a shitty thing to do, and tried many times to say it but chickened out. I know I should communicate but freeze. After a couple of times I told myself I can't keep doing that so I stopped ghosting people. Started with texts then worked up to in person. The first time I had to make my friend draft the message and click send. Second time I drafted it myself and had a mini panic attack while I waited for how they'll respond (they responded really well and was reall…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:36 AM
–

When women do it it's not justified either. Some people ghost because they either don't actually care or are too cowardly to communicate. That's a personality flaw and not something anyone should thrive for. I used to ghost people because I was a coward, but that's not a good thing to do and I can't justify it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 08:38 PM
2

Any kind of situation where someone tries to mask their real intentions are going to be hard to distinguish if they're good at it. Narcissists as far as I know tries really hard and are generally good at hiding it. I'm not a detective so I don't assume I can figure it out by surface level interactions. But when you date someone, the point is to dig deeper beyond surface level interactions. Narcissists might do all the right things and I might not know what to look for. But I do know they eventua…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 10:48 AM
0

I trust people until they give me a reason not to. I know it's possible for people to lie and there are bad people out there, but I tend to believe most people at least try to be good. I guess I tend to hang around good people since no one has ever tried to take advantage of my trust in relationships or otherwise. If someone did sleep with me and change their feelings the next day that would be ok. I would be sad that it didn't work out, but that's life, disappointing things happen. That's never…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 07:40 AM
0

If you genuinely changed your feelings that's fine. If you're intentionally lying to get what you want at the expense of others it's not. Being willfully ignorant isn't a good excuse either. If a guy likes me / asked me out and buys me an expensive gift / pays for a trip, and I accepted that gift - if after a couple of weeks I genuinely changed my mind, that's ok. It sucks for him but that's still fine. But if when I accepted that gift I knew I didn't like him or knew I was going to break it off…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 07:06 PM
–

So it's a shonen anime character. I create an alternate reality in my head where I self insert myself into the story and things happen, usually similar adventure he would go on but I'm a relevant character too. Whenever I have daydream time I would just play out fan fiction in my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:02 PM
1

Not that I wasn't completely interested, but I wasn't interested enough to put in the effort I needed to or to change myself to be relationship material. I guess I wasn't done growing yet, too focused on only myself and didn't want to change to be otherwise. Dating anyone at that point would've been inconsiderate and unkind to the other person. Also, I had a crush on a fictional character throughout my late teens and into my 20's. I was able to basically have a fake relationship in my head and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 06:49 AM
1

How old were you when you had your first kiss? - 26 First relationships? Casual sex? - 28 (relationship), no casual sex How many relationships/partners have you had? - 1 What's the longest you've gone single/sexless? - 28 years Do you find sex and dating to be unimportant? - It's important in the sense that you find a life partner, which is not only nice as companionship, but also adds a lot of content to your life you wouldn't experience otherwise. It's also great to just have another person ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 08:02 PM
2

If he is like "oh that's not gonna work for me", appears disappointed, visibly unhappy, end the date right there etc. that's ok. If he starts acting aggressive, trying to convince the woman otherwise, starts insulting the woman, then that's not ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 04:21 AM
1

It really depends on the market and the interest rate. We bought a couple of properties around 2020 and 2021 where the rent pretty much covered all cash flow (mortgage, insurance, property tax, maintenance). And at the same time it appreciated in value. My parents had it even better. I don't think I can pull that off now. Although you're right that investing in the stock market can yield similar returns. Real estate is a nice way to diversify your portfolio and have a really tangible asset compa…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 01:54 AM
6

If their reception is aggressive or extreme then that's not respecting boundaries. Although these people exist, I haven't seen women be actively aggressive towards a man for not paying or something. Usually the worst thing that can happen is no second date. Being dissatisfied isn't really disrespecting boundaries. You don't need to have a positive reaction to respect someone's boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 01:43 AM
4

I don't need my parents anymore, but that doesn't mean I would just abandon them on a whim. Wants can be really strong. You don't need to need someone for you to be strongly attached. No one actually needs me, except my children probably (even then they have their dad if I'm gone). If I die, they will be really sad, but life goes on and they will be fine in the end, and that's good and healthy. But all my relationships are very strong and I feel very secure in all of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 12:06 AM
8

You don't have boundaries to make other people like you. People will try to push boundaries or negotiate them if it benefits you, but what they want isn't relevant to you holding your boundaries. It's up to other people to feel out what your boundaries actually are, and it's up to you to enforce your boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 11:55 PM
4

I'm a total prude and anyone just dating me for sex will have a bad time.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 11:51 PM
1

If I'm happy with him before then it makes no difference. Because likely if I was already happy with how he treats me, it means that the stuff he did for his past girlfriends are just not important to me. If it was important to me it would bother me from the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:40 PM
0

You really don't have to interact with women outside of work and stuff. Lots of women choose to not interact with men because they don't trust men, don't feel a strong desire to date, sees men talk poorly of women on social media or real life and decided not to risk it. It's your choice to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:37 PM
–

You gave a lot of examples from your life, which are valid. But at this point your anecdotal experience is just different from mine. Unless a woman is very inexperienced and truly don't know what they like, I have never met anyone that would give advice that is the opposite of what they actually like. No one (in my experience) is going to tell you to be passive when they actually want someone sexual aggressive unless they had very few sexual encounters and don't know that about themselves. Somet…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:31 PM
1

It sucks that men don’t have the social and cultural support to be stay at home dads. My dad really enjoyed being a dad and raising his kids, and you can feel the satisfaction he gets from it. I know a few stay at home dads that are great dads, but I know it’s not as easy to be one compared to a woman wanting to be a stay at home mom. What is more common is to find a woman that enjoys working, relative high earner, and have a high enough income between the 2 of you so that you don’t have to work…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 12:03 PM
1

Everyone’s different and are compatible with different people. The women that are compatible with you, and will genuinely have her life improved from being in a relationship with you will genuinely want to direct someone like you to be successful in dating someone like them. For example, if you’re a traditional man, liberal women’s advice might not be useful to you, because it will be advice on how to act to get a liberal woman. But a traditional woman would give you advice that would work on a …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 11:56 AM
1

That's because most people, and by extension men are good people. Most people want to make their friends, family, or spouse happy. My husband is great, but so are my friends' and acquaintances' husbands. My dad and uncles are also great people. Social media is the place where negativity is unnaturally concentrated. Good relationships don't get as much engagement as negative content or controversial topics. Negative relationships are overrepresented on social media compared to the real world.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 02:45 AM
3

People are going to give you advice based on what worked for them. That's not malicious. No one is claiming their advice will work for everyone. If you think it's not relevant to you, then you don't have to follow it or take the parts that works.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 02:35 AM
7

That's fine, if you can't find you want then it is what it is. That's reality for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 01:46 AM
1

That's totally valid. I'm not traditional or conservative, but I am very sexually reserved and only had sex with 1 guy that eventually became my husband. I would definitely not be a good match for a lot of men, especially based on how a lot of men here talk about sex. I'm just not gonna be sexually adventurous or open to sexual exploration that might be a problem for a lot of men, especially if sex is very important to them. Some men say they don't want women with high n counts and such, but giv…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 12:38 AM
1

I just dated online after a while. Around the age of 26, I realized that I suck at differentiating platonic and romantic interest. I'm bad at hinting interest towards a guy or recognizing signs of interest from guys when it does happen. Online dating makes it unambitious that we're both interested romantically. I get desperation to a degree, I'm like the last person in my friend group to date. But if your goal is truly a life partner, then your logical brain needs to override your FOMO. Because …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 01:39 PM
–

I had a great childhood and only dates people that had similarly good childhoods. It's not that they're more confident, it's just that to me they're what my normal is and I can understand them better. Like I have very little idea what you're talking about with the uglies and dummy thing. I'm sure people with tough childhoods are stronger in certain areas than me or my husband, but we live in a pretty safe environment and I don't need a battle hardened person, I need someone who's also just cheer…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:27 AM
4

Not really. Choosing a life partner is very important, it's not something you should just jump into with the first person, or even first few people that makes an offer. Assuming we're not talking about casual sex but marriage, which is the goal of lots of women. The goal isn't to pair up with the most amount of people. Given that goal, you shouldn't go where you get the most offers, but the best offer. The chances of you finding who you want goes up with inherent qualities that cannot change, im…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:17 AM
16

That's not body autonomy, that's women's body having an additional function than men's. That's like me saying I don't have body autonomy because I can't fly like a bird. I just don't have that function. Body autonomy means you have the freedom to use or not use the body functions you do have. Also, women also can't get pregnant without men. As for conscription I agree it's not fair, either don't draft anyone or draft women too. I don't want to sit around panicking from home when my loved ones ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:53 AM
3

I always offer and it's genuine. There's no good reason that the guy pays. If he insists I won't argue, I offer to pay my share because it's fair, but I don't love paying or anything so if he wants to pay then sure. I have also had guys take the wrong message when I insist I pay because they think I don't like him or something. My parents tend to fight to pay with my aunts and uncles and other parents when I was young, it's cultural but I always thought it was ridiculous. I don't won't hold it a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 09:32 PM
10

Your partner is a person not an alien, it's weird to have to be taught how to treat a partner specifically and I feel like it will make people see the opposite sex as more of a foreign entity than they actually are.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 07:09 PM
1

My sex drive has always been pretty low. I didn't date or have sex until I was 28 because I never really needed sex. Although it's one of those things where once I did have sex with my husband I started to like it and want it. But my sex drive is still likely on the low end of the spectrum. So I try to find someone with a relatively low sex drive too. It's more rare to find a man that exactly matches my sex drive, but someone that is close enough so if we both reach out a bit we can be at a midd…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 06:18 PM
5

If I'm in a tennis club and there's someone that's amazing at tennis but ugly, I wouldn't care and my level of respect will be based on tennis skills. I have a mentor at work that is quite overweight and has acne and scars on her skin, not conventionally attractive, but I respect her so much. I would get a rush if she slacked me unexpectedly and would feel great if she happens to ask me to do some task, or just working with her on any project would make me excited. If I was at a dating or social…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 03:51 AM
6

That's very dependent on context. Am I at work, school, social setting, a hobby group, in the context of dating? Different situations demand different skills and attributes, and people rank differently based on what environment they're in.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 02:40 AM
4

I have never seen this scenario play out nor heard stories about this type of situation. Maybe in internet debates I hear people debating the risks of forgoing your career to be a stay at home mom, but no one has ever been rude to a stay at home mom in real life like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 01:10 AM
13

I definitely care, but I don't go around broadcasting it, I just won't date the men in question. There's lots of people that make life decisions that I don't agree with, but there's no reason to go around randomly insulting people, unless what they're doing is really harmful and likely to harm people in the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 01:06 AM
20

This is only difficult if men cannot accept staying single as an alternative. When women are told to raise their standards, they're also told that it means staying single as an alternative. If you need to be in a relationship at all times, then obviously your options become super limited.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 05:25 PM
–

I don't think paying back the tariffs is realistic, but Americans were the ones paying the tariffs. So it would be the government giving individual Americans or American businesses that imported goods back the taxes they collected. We're not paying back another country if that's what you're thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 08:22 PM
3

I think everyone cares a different amount about their own appearance and the appearance of other people. Some people have different standards for men and women too when it comes to effort in appearance. Personally I don't put in much effort in looks myself so I don't really care about if the guy dresses well. Some girls do care about how the guy dresses, some girls don't but might care about paying and other chivalrous things more. That's why dating is largely a compatibility check, and you want…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 08:18 PM
–

I prefer the guy to plan things, but I can pay for my own stuff. Mostly because I suck at planning.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 06:26 PM
–

My brother was always popular with girls, but didn't really prioritize dating until maybe 21 when he got his career well set up. He was pretty indifferent and even annoyed by girls trying to date him when he was in high school when he wanted to focus on school. He was happy about the attention at first and it was good for his ego / confidence. But when some girls kept bothering him when he was trying to do other things he got pretty avoidant with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 06:19 PM
–

That's just very odd to me. Obviously we haven't lived each other's lives and I can't say it doesn't exist. It's just that in my experience most people are not toxic, they might not be angels but not toxic. So statically it's weird to have such a high concentration of them that you encounter them regularly, especially when you experience different social groups and have the ability to over time move away from toxic groups to less toxic ones. There's this acquaintance from school where I found ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 09:12 PM
1

I'm sure they exist, just like I'm sure toxic men exist. But I barely encounter them so in real life it's not a thing I really need to worry about or is paranoid over. When people make the argument they don't really exist in real life, they're not saying they actually don't exist, but your chance of encountering one is low enough it's best to not assume the worst of people on a day to day basis.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 02:04 AM
–

Because I know them well. They've been dating and married my friends for many years, some over a decade. I've seen them in many situations and hung out with them a lot. My friends also talk about them so I know enough of their personalities, temperament, and quirks to get a decent idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:35 AM
–

They're almost all attractive, but I wouldn't want to date them (and vice versa) because we're not compatible. These people are specifically guys my friends attracted and decided to marry, so they are specifically a great fit for them. This includes quirks and strengths that the specific friend appreciates more than me, or weaknesses that bothers them less than it would bother me. I'm sure they wouldn't want to date my husband either for the same reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 03:14 AM
3

I will generally act interested, because I would be mean to act bored when someone's talking. So if I'm actually interested in the topic, I would not be pretending. If I'm not, then yeah I would be pretending. It's normal to not be 100% interested in what someone else is interested in, but there should be a good overlap. At the end of the date if we have nothing in common at all I would probably not go ahead with a second date.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:31 AM
2

If you try to do your best for women, then don't stick around women that you feel is using you. You can feel if someone is using you for this context. When I was little I would carry stuff for my friends all the time, since I was just the strongest of the group. They appreciated it and helped me where I needed it, but of course if they started taking it for granted I would stop. Same thing for relationships. If you feel like the woman is taking you for granted, then break up. This is the exact s…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 08:08 PM
6

I don't date people with noticeable mental health issues (if they manage it so well I don't notice then I'm not gonna dig super deep on if they're diagnosed with anything). I had a very smooth upbringing and really haven't dealt with anyone that does have mental health issues and I would not know how to help them, and will likely piss them off and make it worse. Basically I'm a pretty happy and optimistic person, and not sure how to deal with people that are too sad or cynical, and my default re…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 10:37 PM
2

Assuming I'm single at that time, I'll probably be addicted to anime and VR too. I kinda already am. Probably won't spend money on an AI I don't even like and enjoy the stuff I actually like.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:00 AM
7

I have fantasies about getting into street fights. Doesn't mean I actually want to be in a real life one and have one of the lowest risk tolerance of anyone I know. I leave situations the moment it gets slightly confrontational. The thing about fantasies is that you always control how it plays out. Even if you don't have full control like in a video game, you suffer no real consequences. No one actually wants all that in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:38 AM
0

I was a very happy single woman. I had freedom to spend my time how I wanted, flexibility to move anywhere, and space and room to grow and live as the adult I dreamed of when I was a kid. I had limitations like I can't go to too sketchy of a place at night, needed to worry about safety in certain situations, lots of cabinets and such are made for a male height, lots of furniture, even cheap and light ones are harder to move around as a woman. But even then it was very enjoyable. And I also knew …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 07:52 PM
–

In my day to day life I don't worry any man I meet are radicalized or is super sexist, and I haven't met anyone in real life like that. Social media amplifies a lot of radical views. Normal guys, or guys without strong opinions don't create shorts or videos that's likely to go viral. But even if we don't see it in real life, women in real life after hearing radicalized voices online might be more cautious of men or be more radicalized themselves since they believe the other side is like that. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 12:14 AM
1

If I know it's not likely to lead anywhere I wouldn't bother with it. Dating by itself is not that fun for me. As much as a dinner, movie, or activity sounds fun, I would rather do things like that with a friend I already know and am comfortable with than a relative stranger. I dated in order to get a specific result which is to have a family and have a partner that would be compatible with that. There's nothing else that's really valuable outside of that I would need to resist. Although I find …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:58 PM
1

Offline, most of my peers including men have similar world views on gender dynamics. PPD and other online places are where I go to get differing views. For PPD, I mostly want to put my perspectives out there to the pool of differing opinions. Some people are definitely frustrating to talk to or to read their viewpoints, but I don't really have a goal of changing anyone's opinion right away. My own perspectives changed a lot throughout my 20's and none of that was because of reading one comment o…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:45 PM
–

I get that, but doesn't swiping on everyone indiscriminately contribute significantly to the matches not being great? If the input you give an algorithm is garbage, the result can't be that good.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:57 PM
–

That would be a pretty good result for me to be honest. That's 6 people, and you only need to click with 1 person. Unless you're expecting most of your matches to just ignore you, I would be pretty happy with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:25 AM
1

I know of some people, one didn't directly ask the guy out pretty much made it really obvious she liked him and put a lot of effort into talking to him, and doing things he liked for a while. The other one tried hinting for a while, he didn't seem to get it, and directly asked him if he's just oblivious or didn't like her and the started dating after that. I don't have an issue of pursuing guys based on principle. I think the person doing the pursuing has a lot of agency and probably end up find…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 04:41 AM
2

I'm not sure if this will continue, but my social circle are pretty high earning individuals. Doctors, Lawyers, high earning engineers, entrepreneurs / CEOs etc. What I'm seeing is that when income levels goes higher, men outnumber women (although law seem to attract a lot of women, but the other high earning fields make up for it if they're willing to date an engineer or something). Most men want to marry a woman in his income bracket if he can, but often he can't, and although it's a preferenc…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 04:31 AM
–

If she honestly didn't find anyone attractive, why would I pressure her to date someone there? It doesn't help her or the guy if she doesn't find him attractive. 9 events isn't that many events. If you're looking for a life partner, it's reasonable to be patient about it. People are so different, it's very normal for you to meet a bunch of people but not click with one on that level (especially if you're dating for marriage and not casually). Also, some people need a deeper connection to feel at…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 08:02 PM
3

The same reason you're nice to random people you'll never meet again. Some people just want other people to have a good day regardless. And there's more to life than dating, being consistently pleasant helps you be around good people and other people that are consistently pleasant and that helps in many other areas of life. Also, some people are more naturally likable than others depending on their genetics and how they grew up. Most likable people are that way because they naturally act that wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 08:59 PM
0

You're coming from a perspective that women just have more options than men. I think the advantage women have in dating is mostly because men are hornier than women. But that's mostly negated if you don't leverage sex as much. Given there's a similar amount of men and women, there's no reason that women would have more options than men. It just doesn't math out. If you eliminate men that just wants to have sex, and cares about the quality of the woman beyond that, I find they often do have decen…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 11:03 AM
2

Men are not fulfilling their roles by dealing with abusive behavior from women just because she's hot. Most men don't do that, but there are more men that would stay with hot abusive women compared to women. That's possibly because there's a lot of warning of abusive behavior from men when girls are growing up, or because men are not as scared of women as women are scared of men. Still, either gender dealing with abusive partners are doing anything to help society. Even radical feminists complai…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 10:54 AM
2

Traditional or not, it's not healthy. We encourage women to break away from a lot of traditional stuff that is not good for them, so we shouldn't just let that kinda stuff slide for men. Women working to support men is not traditional and less common, but as women get better paying jobs and earning potential it's natural that it'll happen more. Hot abusers might always find someone that overlook things because of hotness, but it doesn't have to be you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 04:07 PM
0

I think being proactive gives you an edge over not being proactive. And I think ego or societal expectations do stop women from being as proactive. But I don't think it's everything either. You have to still be a attractive partner (or an attractive partner to the type of partner you want). Like most women can find a guy willing to have sex with her, but I doubt most women are ok with having a partner that just want to have sex with her. Like finding a job, sending out more resumes and approachi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 09:51 AM
1

Those venues are probably just the most common places to find people. You can definitely find people in niche places that might fit your interests better, which a lot of people do, but they're niche for a reason. Most people don't go to places to find a date, most people just go to places to have fun or socialize and happen to find people to date. So I guess when they're going to venues, they're likely not going with an intention of finding a bf, but just because they want to be there too and ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 09:41 AM
3

Thanks, I'm a software engineer.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 09:38 AM
2

People tend to do stupid things for hot people. I've seen more men do more stupid things for hot women than the other way around. I have guy friends who have pretty shitty girlfriends / wives and you can't say anything about it. If I had girl friends with similarly shitty boyfriends, they might tolerate it for a bit out of hope but eventually they all leave, but the guys marry these people and you can't get through to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 10:43 PM
8

I mean, the best way to get what you want is to actively go for it. I always thought that men tend to have a better result in (dating the person they like more than vice versa) specifically because they tend to be more proactive. Everyone they ask out will be someone they like, they don't limit themselves to only people that approach them first like women might be tempted to do. Lots of women are ok defaulting to being more passive and sometimes that works for them because men's proactiveness ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 10:39 PM
2

Maybe to actually learn the stuff you're paying a fortune to learn... Not everything will be useful at work, but it's always nice to know more. I do feel like we tried to fit too many career paths into a university setting. Universities were originally for subjects that are highly academic and attended by scholars and people that tend to enjoy learning for knowledge's sake. If you just want to train a set of skills for a specific job then that should be a different type of training school. Still…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 11:33 PM
1

When I was a kid I got annoyed that adults would just randomly pick me up and move me around. I remember wishing I was heavier so they can't do that easily anymore and had a goal weight of like 120lbs since I for some reason thought that was the magical weight where people can't pick you up anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 09:32 PM
2

HR caters to what the hiring manager wants most of the time. Maybe add a few bureaucratic layers for legal / process reasons, but generally HR will not stop someone from being hired. Jobs are hard to get because the ratio of qualified candidates to job positions are in the employer's favor right now. But I remember just a several years ago when it was totally an employee's market and the employers and recruiters were doing the song and dance.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 10:10 AM
2

My husband hired a guy to manage one of his teams, and right after he accepted the offer he was like "my wife is 7 months pregnant" and went off on paternity leave a month and a half later. My husband had to manage that team himself for the next 5 months. It's not that different if guys are given good paternity leaves too, which they should.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:07 PM
1

Yes, but a woman being all touchy is culturally considered less sexual, and unwanted sexual attention from women is considered less dangerous / more innocent and therefore there is less of a negative reaction to it. It might not be right or fair but that's how the world reacts right now and that makes women less worried / self conscious about being overly touchy compared to men. Women also are more touchy with each other because we perceive our touches to have less sexual meaning. One thing that…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:39 PM
1

I mean my female friends did all that with me, but culturally girls doing stuff like that to their friends don't carry the same sexual connotation. For my friend, I can see her touching a guy's thigh lightly maybe closer to the knees as a friendly touch, but she would probably know that if she goes closer to the crotch or if the touch was firmer or squeezing that area it would come across as sexual. It's also possible that some girls like to tease sexually without there being any real interest b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 06:41 AM
–

Not sure. I love this life and the memories of it. But at the same time it would be sad to remember people but not be able to see them again. Maybe making new memories from scratch would be better. I'm not sure I would want to live my current life with full memories from another life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:39 PM
–

Say "exactly", give them a kiss, watch them blush and walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:33 PM
1

Girls have different personalities and communicate differently. I have a friend that's very friendly and touchy to everyone, as a girl it makes it so that you feel like she's your best friend right away and it's nice especially for someone that's shy, it makes me feel accepted and comfortable with her very quickly. But I can see how it can be interpreted as flirty if it was towards a guy. For me, I'm naturally kind of cold and distant. So me initiating any conversation with someone and smiling a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:30 PM
3

Being older does seem to have an impact, but mostly rules out guys that prioritizes having a family and especially a big family after a certain age. Not terrible but it's harder to find the traditional dad-like guys that wants a big family. But in my experience there's no difference between high n count girls and girls with low n counts. I'm in my mid 30's and have seen girls around me with different lifestyles and have seen how their romantic lives end up. High n count girls have no issues gett…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:24 PM
1

I don't know how we're defining red flags here. But red flags are potential flaws. They're an early or indirect indicator of a flaw. Often when we refer to a red flag, we're talking about red flags to flaws that are serious deal breakers. But a red flag itself is just what it sounds like, a flag of a potential problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 10:19 PM
1

Most nerds I know are doing well for themselves. They might not be super wealthy compared to what they could be, but still above average. I know a couple of people with PHDs that are completely irrelevant to their jobs and they don't use it at all. But they are still at the end of the day smart people and able to find above average jobs regardless. Nerds that are below average has to also be really bad at many other things in addition to just having nerdy interests and smart. Like lack of social…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 08:37 PM
9

I have no issues with it. It's against the norm so that's always going to get some pushback no matter how reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 08:04 PM
6

There's wish fulfillment fantasies on both ends. Both Anime and K dramas tend to market themselves to the fantasies of man and women and it's not hard to pick up they're kinda shallow and unrealistic. It's fair for men to complain about objectified male characters, and as more men care, the more it will be a thing. Historically I think women are more sensitive to media that objectifies them because there is a real fear of actually being objectified and lacking agency in real life. Men were more …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 05:12 PM
2

Very dependent on the man. I would be a good gf/wife to someone and be totally repulsive to someone else. Just like how I like certain qualities and don't like others in men. Dating is pretty much just an exercise to find someone that likes the specific qualities in you and vice versa. I did not date for a long time because I didn't think I would make a good gf to anyone though. Because I was very self centered and wasn't mentally ready to truly care about another person consistently. So univers…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:42 PM
–

I tried a few things but doing what other people did, like exaggerated expressions and acting super excited just wasn't for me and people can probably tell it was fake. Eventually I just stuck with telling people I liked them in my own way. I would very directly tell the guys I liked spending time with them, or what I liked or admired about them is a pretty calm matter of fact way. This doesn't work for everyone, but it works for people that likes my style, which is why just figuring out who is …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 09:28 AM
–

Mostly around social skills, understanding dating dynamics (I guess flirting), getting more comfortable with going on dates etc. Like I said dating didn't come intuitively to me like it did for many other people. I'm also very introverted so basic social skills helped a lot. Also just the more you talk to guys, the more you get a sense of how to interact with them romantically, and also what type of guys I like and likes me. Naturally I got a better sense over time. There are also a few basic gr…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 07:31 PM
–

Dating was not easy for me, and didn't come instinctively to me like I feel it does for a lot of people. I put significant effort into it. A lot of guys, especially here seem to resent having to self improve, but I was totally fine with it, I put effort into every other part of my life so why not this? Dating was hard until it wasn't. I was constantly trying to improve and iterate on my dating/social skills and other parts of myself that makes me a better person to be around. Things felt stagnan…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:02 PM
–

Parents often change their outlook based on what's best for their children. My dad grew up super traditional and had traditional views (my aunts never went to college for example since my grandparents didn't pay for it), but as soon as I was born he threw out all the parts that were bad to women and kept the parts that were good to women. I asked him about this when I got older and he just said me having a happy and fulfilling life was more important than arbitrary rules / traditions he was had …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 09:04 AM
–

Yeah, in my experience the better someone's life is, the nicer they usually are. Most people that are treated well their entire lives tend to reflect the positive interactions they had back at you. They do tend to just leave if they think you're treating them badly and feel the need to justify it. However, the nicest people I met that went super above and beyond are people that dealt with hardships. I think they are more considerate and thoughtful. While people with easy lives tend to just be ni…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 09:25 AM
–

When you have the ability to sustain yourself and be happy single, then it's actually more likely for you to date someone that is better for you than if you are desperate and rushed to get into a relationship. This totally makes sense. If I was unemployed and the only way to eat / have shelter is to marry, then I would've probably married one of the first people interested in me. Statistically that person would be someone that's average. Having money improves your chances both by giving you more…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 10:10 PM
–

People respond to reaching out pretty equally from men and women when it's not motivated by romantic advances. My husband is the primary socialite in our relationship. He keeps in contact with people and makes plans. With lots of other couples it's the wife doing that. He doesn't get more or less responses compared to the wives. People are normally just happy you're inviting them to something since everyone wants to do something but no one wants to plan it. If you are the person to plan / sugges…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 09:55 PM
–

Every time I buy a house my parents and entire extended family have to approve or comment on it. Everyone's in my business. But the benefit of that is they scrutinize everything and all these little things are nitpicked like crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 09:45 PM
3

Before marriage I expect all finances to be separate. I will treat you like a roommate. After marriage everything's pooled since now I treat you like family.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 09:10 PM
–

I think women have more incentive to want magic stuff to be real to get a sense of control. If you're physically not strong, then you kind of wish for an alternative way to get power. Women with more tangible sources of power like independently wealthy tend to not believe in magical stuff as much. It's the same reason as countries get more developed, they get less religious.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 06:49 AM
7

The company pays me with my boss. And I don't particularly have any obligations to her after work. I can finish my work and completely forget she exists, it's a completely transactional situation where I can very easily leave without much friction. I like my boss, but I don't really need to like her. While with my husband, I live with him full time and likes being with him and spends time with him without having to be paid. If I treated him like my boss... then what's the point of even marrying …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 09:08 PM
7

You come to a consensus for compromise. This is not very difficult for just 2 people. When a group size gets bigger, it is harder and harder to come to a consensus for obvious reasons, but with a group of just 2, it is literately one of the easiest things to accomplish when it comes to getting along with other people. I have never had an issue where I couldn't work out a proper compromise with someone. Especially if you already have similar values. If you are someone that finds it consistently v…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 09:04 PM
3

Not in a biological way, because you're usually biologically wired to not be sexually attracted to family members for obvious reasons, so the sexual attraction part of that equation normally can't happen if you actually think of them like a brother/sister in that sense. But you should feel a close family-like bond with them eventually. Romantic / sexual love is nature's way of bringing someone that is not related to you by blood into your family line. A romantic partner is basically just normal …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 08:19 PM
10

To me, romantic Love is Love (like you may have with your parents and family) + sexual attraction + friendship (not always required but super important long term)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 04:32 PM
–

Probably because puberty and lots of gender specific stuff happens around that time, and your mom tends to provide guidance on those things. You naturally get closer to your mom since you can talk to her about more stuff. Hating your dad is a bit extreme, but maybe that's just teenage angst making it feel like hate. But your dad (compared to your mom) becomes less relatable/relevant and it's normal to drift apart a bit then.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 07:55 AM
–

Probably if she knows you like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 07:50 AM
–

You don't give gifts to people to make them like you. You give gifts to people because you want to see them happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 07:50 AM
–

I'm the opposite. It's much easier for me to enjoy my own creations and appreciate myself compared to other people. I don't need many reasons to like myself and my qualities, but for other people I tend to be more objective. There are several people in the world that I just favor and see in a more positive lens than average. Where I like, think well of them, and want to do things for them without them needing to prove much to me. Myself is one of these people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 10:24 PM
–

The original commenter said that he doesn't like people in general, and the only thing that bothers him about women is that he biologically wants something from them, which is sex, and that might force him to have to connect with another person when he doesn't want to deal with that. If that's true, then I assume that the need to be desired is also not very strong, because that kind of stuff stems from caring about what other people think. If you don't care about how people, men or women think a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 12:12 PM
3

When I look at most people, most girls have kind and nice boyfriends. Most guys in solid relationships are good people. I rarely see an asshole that survives in long term relationships. Relationships with drama are just loud, and relationships with assholes (men or women) are more likely to have ups and downs and drama, maybe they break up more and one bad person affects more people, and society and social media pay more attention to them. At the end of the day, I see good people in relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 11:26 AM
–

I'm pretty sure a puppy... or a hamster would fill that role better than labubus....
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 11:22 AM
–

I think everyone has different opinions on it. I know there are some concerns with the morality and potential trafficking. But I honestly don't know enough about the industry to speak much on that. But at least where I live it's legal and everyone's pretty liberal about sex work, and assuming it's done safely, it would be a legitimate solution for this situation wouldn't it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 11:20 AM
–

If you don't care about the emotional connection part of it, then wouldn't sex workers be a good solution for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 07:41 AM
1

The issue is that there is only a problem if the attention is unwanted. Sometimes women dress to attract sexual attention from men that she wants, but not attention she doesn't want. Men often present in a way to attract women he wants, not women he doesn't want. Unwanted attention is a negative side effect of attracting attention, it can't be helped sometimes. The issue is that unwanted male attention is more concerning, and that concern comes from both real and perceived/instinctive fear. Wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 02:22 AM
1

Yeah, there's good and bad men. The issue is not when they're good, it's how bad can it go if they try to hurt you or just loses it and goes out of control? I feel like bad women can also do sufficient damage to men to the point that it's not trivial. But instinctively, there is much more fear towards a pissed off man than a pissed off woman. Just like you're more scared of a pissed off Tiger than a pissed off cat. Even if I tell you it's a very well trained tiger, the off chance that it does at…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 07:32 PM
9

There is more risk to women attracting unwanted male attention than there is for a man attracting unwanted female attention. Unwanted female attention can be destructive as well, but men don't have as much of an instinctive fear of it as women do. Similarly, I am less nervous when I get unwanted attention from a lesbian woman than unwanted attention from a man. Society in general thinks so too. My parents treated unwanted attention from boys towards me with much more concern than unwanted attent…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 09:03 PM
1

People can lie about all sorts of things. By default I tend to trust people until I have a reason to believe otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:10 AM
2

It's very normal to be attracted or not attracted to certain races. There can be individual differences, but often people in a certain race has distinctive looks and you might be into or not into that just like any other physical features. Similarly, there are cultural differences you might not be used to. It's very common for people to want to date in their race because those are the faces they're used to and feel familiar towards. Like I am very familiar with the faces and mannerisms of men in…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:03 AM
–

Because we're on reddit
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 08:48 PM
–

But they're actually top % of something in the world. That's actually respectable and I have nothing against that. Plus it takes a toll on their bodies. There are people that just got lucky because they happen to be one of the first engineers at a company that IPOed (or not even that early) and retired in their 30's and they're not even the best at what they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 08:47 PM
0

I'm someone who cared a lot about financial stability and earning potential when dating. I definitely do look for men that has a certain background and economic reality. Because all else equal, having money is often better than not having money. But similarly, as long as the relationship is good and the person is a good person and not taking away from my life, usually having another person around is better than not. To me, most people are great, and it's better to have them around than not. This…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 08:42 PM
–

Again, that's a difference in philosophy. I'm not surprised insurance companies would try to find reasons to not pay up, but that's more of them being sketchy than the spirt of the insurance plan. From an insurance company perspective, obviously it's nice to be able to differentiate people and charge them different rates, and refuse to insure some people outright, but that would create some really tragic situations for some people. More so than there already are I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:22 PM
–

You should specify you want responses from single women only. This isn't exactly a dating advice sub either, it's about relationships in general and often people share perspectives that are not aimed at helping people get dates specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:17 PM
–

Some nuances of dating change but people fundamentally aren't that different. My parents and grandparents gave me really valuable dating advice. They're not all applicable as in you can do EXACTLY what they did and get the same result, but take what is relevant to you and modify it to fit your situation. They might not give you a script and step by step instructions, but rather teaches you about the world and how people think, and that's often more valuable later on. When you want to study a sub…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 04:54 PM
–

I think that's because you're not allowed to discriminate on health insurance that much. Otherwise everyone will pay a different rate depending on your socioeconomic status, past illnesses, genetic or illnesses that runs in the family etc. etc. and it will get really ugly for some people. Right now healthy people are paying into a system to help less healthy people, and as a society we decided that's the right thing to do. You can disagree but that's a philosophical disagreement. I'm not 100% su…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 04:44 PM
3

In my experience, most men that had a good family growing up have a good chance of being a good father. Not all of them, but I see a pretty good hit rate. There's also being a good father now, and you can see them developing into a good father later. Most parents suck a parenting until they actually have a child. Personally, almost all my mothering skills developed because it was necessary. I literately couldn't keep a goldfish alive. But I, like most people, just can't do nothing when a child n…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 08:55 PM
–

Not really. We spend money easily on luxuries like vacation and spas. Or ordering takeouts and babysitting services. Cleansers are just something to help out a bit, give you more time and let you enjoy your time. If you're financially struggling then maybe spend your money on something else more critical, but if you can afford it it's definitely not a waste of money. It's a pretty good use of money. Most husbands don't want their wives to be stressed all the time either. Just like how they hire …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 05:19 PM
2

Sorry, I'm not sure if there's anything that can keep those thoughts away.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 10:32 AM
5

What kind of scary thoughts? Also I find family and friends are pretty effective in keeping you occupied. Especially if they're extroverted and drag you around everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 09:23 AM
7

What would you be contemplating life about? Just asking because I'm someone that was very content being single and while I wanted a relationship more than not, I was still very happy while single. I have close family and friends, and while I kinda had the feeling of missing out on some cool experience other people have, but I definitely never felt lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 07:01 AM
13

I need some examples. How does someone take away my innate right or desire? And what does it mean take away my ability to have a child or a human connection? Nuances matter here as it does in every other part of life. Using making friends as an example, if someone locks me away, so I physically can't make friends, then that would be bad. If they simply chooses not to be friends with me, then that's not really their fault. If they wouldn't have fun hanging out with me, then obviously they should …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 06:52 AM
25

Because I try to be a good person to other people regardless if I'm attracted to them. I've met plenty of people that were good to other people that where there's no way they're attracted to them. So that's just basic human expectation. And yeah, if a billionaire is sad that no one cares about him without his money, I would be sympathetic. He's still a person behind all that money and has the same feelings as everyone else. $400M losing 10M is less so but that's only because his problem is easil…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 03:54 AM
–

Do you love your parents? If yes, focus on the feeling, not the person for this next part, now for a romantic relationship, add lust to that feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 08:41 PM
5

I was celibate, I don't have casual sex since I don't really feel sexual desire for someone unless I have a strong emotional connection with that person. I was a virgin until I was 28, when I met my now husband. We were very similar, which means I can still do all the fun stuff I was doing but consistently had a buddy to do it with, and we click well enough that we fit into each other's lives and routines without much friction. I would say he upgraded my life from a 7/10 to a 9/10, which is grea…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 07:42 AM
–

Oh... but why would women complain and say they don't want male attention if it's all wanted?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 07:05 PM
4

Paying for a date is a voluntary gesture, and not a requirement. It's him doing something nice for me, so he gets appreciation just like I would want if I did something nice for him like paying for his meal or baking him some cookies or something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:59 PM
9

There's nothing in particular I did to be happy being single, so it's kind of hard to tell people how to do it. But it's kinda like... you know when you're a kid you just didn't care about dating or girls? Whatever made me happy back then kinda still make me happy now, or a more mature version of it. I play video games, I hang out with my friends, family, go to cool places. Go to the park and do cartwheels. Get ice cream. Climb a mountain, climb trees! Go skiing, go white water rafting. I don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:53 PM
–

The vast majority of guys don't pay attention to me. I really like how I look, but I don't particularly grab the attention of guys en masse. That's great most of the time. But any unwanted attention is still unwanted, and the few times I did have unwanted attention were still stressful and I wish it didn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:43 PM
3

Some people just have low sex drives but still want to form a family. You might not encounter these people or just dismiss them as people that aren't into you, and you definitely shouldn't be with them if sex is super important to you. But I encountered them quite a bit since I'm kinda like that tried to seek out similar people. No real talk of sex until months into the relationship, and when we talk about sex more it's not a high priority, it's just one of the things we can do together that's p…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 01:18 AM
–

Sounds reasonable. One thought I had was should we do this for any crime in general, but we should start somewhere. This should be combined with fast court proceedings though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 08:07 PM
3

I don't know much about this app. But if it really shows names and photos of people, and lets people comment on it freely in a database format that sounds dangerous. It's making me uneasy and I'm surprised there's no legal controversy around it...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 07:06 PM
1

Yeah, which is why I said you shouldn't stay with a partner that's obviously bad for you. And that's why I'm way picker with partners than friends. But same principle applies, because they're both people that are in your life a lot. Unless you're somehow surrounded by terrible people all around, a lot of people are good. As long as you have that foundation, I feel like I can get along with most good people. I'm not saying marry the first person you date, but out of 5 people, there is probably on…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:43 PM
1

Marriages has different meaning to different people. But for me marriage is a legal union. It's important for me because I want a legal union in order to build a family with someone. To me family to me means you're work as one unit, and having a legal union helps formalize and legalize that. Vows are cute, but they're not enforceable, it's more like something nice and cute you say at your wedding. You be with someone in sickness and health because it's something that good people do, and you don'…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:37 PM
1

Obviously you shouldn't stay friends or partners with someone that is bad for you or a bad person in general. But at least 50% of people you meet should be pretty decent people, and that's a lot of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:28 PM
0

I agree you should put in a lot of thought into who you marry. At the same time, it's not supposed to be that hard finding someone you click with and want to spend years and years with. Most of my friends I've known most of my life are just random people I met, and now they're a huge part of my life. Being best friends with the first person you talked to in kindergarten is pretty common. What are the chances the first person you talk to in kindergarten will click with you so well that they are i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:58 PM
1

The actions are pretty obviously misandrist. Although personally I was just being selfish and immature. I was a little shit when I was a kid, to boys and girls, and took advantage of these situations without thinking about it much. Whatever part of my brain that should've been responsible to make me think more about and be considerate to others just developed really late. I was very blind to other people's thoughts and feelings when I was a kid, like it's not that I didn't care about other peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 10:35 PM
0

Other women have been very helpful to me my whole life. I feel like I can run up to any woman and she'll help me, no strings attached. I would also go out of my way to help other women. So I think most women do want to help other women. But I can totally believe that some women would bring up women's issues to hate on men or respond to men's suffrages instead of addressing the issue directly. Because a lot of people do that, and women are still just people. Whataboutism is a common logical falla…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:03 PM
1

You might have to spell out what it looks like to participate in toxic masculinity or give me a list. I don't think I do, but obviously if I was aware that I was participating in toxic activities I would stop it. It's much more likely that if I was doing something toxic I am unaware that it is. So asking me to self report here without any guidelines isn't very helpful. I have done a couple of obvious things that were bad in the past, but since I realized they were bad, I no longer do them. FYI t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 08:46 PM
1

I think I look very approachable, but my demeanor makes me unapproachable. I'm very shy and avoid looking at people I don't know. I don't talk in groups, and in conversations with strangers I try to end it asap unless I have something specific I wanted to talk about or it's a practical conversation. Basically I don't want to know any stranger better, men or women. I'm friendly towards people when I interact with them and really cheerful and energetic around my friends, but I'm generally not inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 09:24 AM
1

It's weird that people hanging out with their primary friend group is a red flag. I can't really think of anything more normal and benign.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 07:13 AM
13

For wealthy men don't randomly marry anyone. Most wealthy men I know marry someone that are in a similar tax bracket, or similar socioeconomic status as him. I'm not sure about middle class, but chances are you can make more with sex work than a middle class man could anyways. Also being a wife is also work, especially if not with someone you like anyways. Plus you lock yourself in super long term, while the financially bad times might be temporary.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 09:37 PM
–

Most men are good people, because most people are good and men are people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:48 PM
–

I agree with this, it'll reduce a lot of suffering from men and women. As long as there's some criteria on being a parent since I want children to be born into somewhat decent homes. I know anyone can have kids now, but we have a higher bar for artificial wombs just like we do for adoption.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:45 PM
–

Both me and my husband are very frugal. It's great because we get to retire early, we saved / invested enough so at any point we can stop working. But stupidly we're still working for some reason...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:41 PM
1

I'm 34 and married now. I had my first boyfriend when I was 28, and I was writing this based on my mindset at 28 (although not much changed mentally). The reason I didn't feel much urgency was: - Like I said, I feel like I can build a good relationship with most people. I was pretty confident that once people know me they'll like me, and my ability to maintain a relationship. I just need to find the best person, and this is a lifetime decision. I guess there was some urgency, but the significanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 05:09 PM
1

I get that you're trying to talk about a cultural dynamic that pushes men to behave in certain ways. Your post contained a very absolute statement though, which is that all men are exhausting to deal with. To be honest I have met like 1 or 2 guys that felt exhausting to deal with, and I quickly just stopped talking to them, the rest were fine. I'm sure they do socialize men to have some inflated egos, especially in certain groups of men, but you don't really have to make it your problem to deal …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 04:48 PM
1

Because people's happiness tend to adapt to their circumstances. The same good news can make a poor person a lot happier than a wealthy person. That's why past a certain amount of money where you're past just trying to survive, happiness tend to plateau.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 06:25 AM
13

Just because you're expected to do something, doesn't mean you have to. You don't have to be emotional caretakers or tiptoe around anything. Be yourself, and you're more likely to attract men that are attracted to your true self. I feel like if you feel all of these things you mentioned when being with a man, he doesn't seem like much of a good man to me. At least one that is not compatible with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 06:16 AM
11

No. Shaming means you go out of your way to make me feel bad. Not dating me at most just means you leave me alone. The goal of feminism isn't to get women more dates or help women find men. Compared to all other issues out there, guys leaving us alone is such a petty and minor issue. Basically would it be great if feminist guys liked me? Yeah, but I care more about if they fight for my rights. As long as they're doing that, then I already appreciate them just for that and it's cool if they don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 04:44 AM
17

Dating or not dating someone is not assigning value to them. I don't care if feminist men date me or not, as long as they support women's rights and freedom to choose for themselves. Actively going around and putting down women that slept around more, trying to paint them in a bad light is slut shaming. Simply not dating them is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 03:48 AM
23

I had this photo on my dating profile that looked super nice and professional. Everything from the pose, to the background, to lighting was great. Clearly different from my other pictures. All I did was say one day to my friends I think I need better pictures on my dating profile. They immediately took me to a place nearby, told me to pose a couple of ways, snapped like 15 pictures, picked the best one and put a light filter on it. They did that in like 5 minutes and probably never thought about…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 06:46 AM
–

Yeah, this needs a wild amount of context or it’s hard to tell the real situation I'm not sure what you mean, but I'm basically trying to say that if I never went went into spaces that talked about dating, since I didn't need dating advice anymore, I would've never even known about stuff that might be a very common experience for other people outside of my social circle. Sometimes it's good to have conversations that's not all about solving a problem in your life. Otherwise once your specific pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 08:50 PM
2

Most ideas here aren't particularly useful in my day to day life, but they can be interesting anyways. Because my circumstances and life are different from a lot of people here. For dating advice, the best people to go to are people that know you and your situation best. For me it was my parents and some friends that were similar to me. For PPD, the goal is to understand people. For example, it was news to me that commitment is considered hard to get for some people, because that have always bee…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 07:02 AM
7

Not looking for advice. This is a debate sub right? I'm here to be exposed to and talk about different ideas I might not otherwise be exposed to in real life since most people I hang around also thinks like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 04:53 AM
28

I mean, there are definitely positives to have children young like you mentioned. But at the end of the day, the best thing you can do is to be a good parent, which means you have to be in a good place mentally and financially, and most importantly want to be a parent. Ideally you're married or living with someone that is also a good parent and want to be a parent. If you reach that place earlier in life, then great! But if you're not there yet, the cons of not being ready to be a parent, and pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:57 PM
1

It's generally how you create a family. Not just talking about children, your spouse becomes family too. It's nice to have more family.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:49 PM
–

Don't date anyone that puts you through hell regardless? What kind of dumb exchange is "I'll do more work later so I'm gonna put you through hell unnecessarily right now"? Similarly expecting someone to do more work later because you had to chase more at the beginning is dumb, since they often never agreed to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 03:43 PM
14

It means he views sex as a recreational activity that can be done with minimal emotional connection, and I don't. That stark contrast in how we view sex makes us incompatible. The point and role sex plays in our lives are too different, and given I will be having a sexual relationship with this guy for life (at least that is the goal whether it ultimately works out or not), that's just dumb. It's like one person believes in investing money and compounding interest and another person feels like m…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 03:26 PM
19

I don't date anyone that has casual sex because we'll be sexually incompatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:26 AM
8

I think it's sex drive and how we think about sex. I'm very prudish and only wants to have sex with someone I have a very strong emotional connection with. Before I have that connection, I just don't have sexual desire at all. So I can go forever without sex if I happen to not have someone I have that close bond with. I have no bad experience with sex or dating at all, I just have a high threshold for me to hit sexual desire. I have friends that have lots of casual sex, and they just like sex an…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 06:15 PM
3

I think I'm someone that can build a pretty good relationship with more than 50% of age appropriate men with a similar upbringing as me. But I don't really like men unless I get to know them really well, since just the physical part of someone doesn't stir anything in me if I don't know them as a person. I see guys that I would be open to knowing better pretty often. The issue is the vast majority of them are in a relationship already (since I'm a really late bloomer), or I don't really know the…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 09:36 AM
2

I think this question has been asked to women many times. Most women don't care how you treated past gfs as long as how you treat her now meets or is above what she wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 05:34 AM
–

My husband complains about this all the time. I'm useless when it comes to vacation planning. I planned a birthday trip for him once and there were so many logistical oversights he spent the whole week bailing us out of all of that. I think it's totally fair to complain. Making sure everything goes smoothly and thinking of all potential issues and having contingencies in place is hard and I appreciate that he's good at it and does it for us without me asking or having to think about it most of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 08:19 PM
–

Some good acts do not erase your bad acts. The most horrible people in history still treated some people well.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 08:06 PM
1

Yeah. I never thought I needed any healing, but I had a number of self improvements I wanted to feel like I'm at a good place before I had any interest in dating and bringing someone else into the picture. Basically for a long time I had no interest in dating because I didn't feel like I had grown to a place where I wanted to have a partner nor had the capacity to care about them in a way that is fair to them. Specifically I wanted my career to be in a good place, I wanted to get better at socia…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 03:25 AM
–

Nice to have some perspective right? Maybe you should give yourself more credit :)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 07:18 PM
–

No one is forcing these men to be with these women though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 06:45 PM
–

Like once a year. 34. Probably average in looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 06:40 PM
–

Saitama?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 10:05 PM
4

Mostly scared. Creepy itself is a feeling that stems from fear, so if I feel creeped out for whatever reason, there has to be some level of fear. I would never reject a creepy guy harshly, since I'm scared so I normally try to leave the situation quickly and peacefully. solely because he actually loves you This is a scary sentiment. Because there's no way he actually loves me, he might be attracted to me but he doesn't love me. No one actually loves someone else they barely know anything about. …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 10:02 PM
3

It does advance thought and change minds, but if you were never finding success it's probably not the place to start. If you're finding it hard to pass the final exam of a class, and you're debating the curriculum with professors or the education board, while your experience is valuable input, this is not the best way to pass the exam if that is your real goal. The debate might enlighten you or be enlightened by you participating, but it's goal is not to help you pass or teach you what is taught…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 07:32 PM
4

Children still go with the father's last name traditionally. Although lots of people are opting out of that now too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 01:17 AM
30

In my culture the wife doesn't take the husband's last name. I thought everyone in America was married to their own sibling or something when I was young. But yeah, no I like my name. I spent my whole life writing and associating myself with this name, why change it?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 08:56 PM
–

Get into the type of relationship you want with people that meet your preferences/requirements.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 06:46 PM
–

Preferences kind of become requirements if you can attain them consistently enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 04:56 PM
9

Friends start with acquaintances though, and the willingness to just big them for whatever. How will you banter with them and have them be there for you for big things if you're not willing to bug them for random minor things consistently? Whatever it is, someone like my mom got a lot closer to them than I ever did over a much longer time. Also, for me it seems hard to find someone to go out with whenever. I feel like I need them to be someone that super wants to do the same activity, to be sure…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 11:59 AM
19

I think our awkward meter is too sensitive these days. I lived in my neighborhood for 2 years and said hi to some of my neighbors, met them a few times and generally say hi when. I see them. I thought that was pretty good. My mom came to visit for 2 months and she is now best friends with half the neighborhood. We needed some tool and was gonna buy it from Amazon and she was like "oh no, I'm sure this person has it", ran out, and came back in 15 minutes with it. And lots of random examples like …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 05:50 AM
1

I mean, I bet most anti-capitalist men would accept a high paying job offer in tech or health insurance too. Most people want and will accept more things if you give it to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:52 AM
–

I like feminine prettyboys too. When you're more socially awkward you tend to like people that look and act less intimidating or "safer" both physically and socially.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 07:49 PM
–

But the male gender is the specialized gender of sexually reproducing organisms, female is default. In asexual organisms all organisms resembles a female. The female has all the organs to reproduce and nurture offspring, we have a male gender for the purposes of enforcing sexual reproduction and therefore genetic diversity. XX is the standard chromosome and the Y chromosome is a specialized chromosome for sexual diversity.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 05:57 AM
–

I know girls get more matches than guys for many reasons. I have lots of male coworkers and friends and I know their match rates. Although 17 in 10 years is pretty extreme, there can be different reasons for that. If I was your friend IRL I'll probably try to troubleshoot it or find a better path for you, but I don't know enough about you. But if it's not working out for you then don't do it. I know going to clubs or large parties would never work for me, so I don't do it. Online dating happens …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 05:51 AM
5

Then host a DnD / Dinner party for 5 people instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 04:19 AM
–

Online dating. It worked well for me since I didn't have to give hints that I like someone or approach. They know I like them if I matched with them. Got rid of the initial ritual of sussing out if both of you liked each other which I hated. But you have to be realistic with what online dating can do. It knows very little information about you and him, and you both made the decision to like each other with very little information. So at the end of the day, a match means very little. The point of…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 04:07 AM
–

For online dating I think it's ok, and rather efficient. First dates for online dating are pretty low stakes to begin with and I personally am very slow in growing attached to someone so I don't go into first dates emotionally attached to begin with. Both for me, and I want him to keep his options open too at that stage. Since if he can meet someone that he likes more than me during that limited amount of time, we're probably not meant to be. Better to have that happen sooner than later. Only is…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 02:10 AM
–

I don't date people that has casual sex (sex w/o emotional connection) because someone like that would be sexually incompatible with me. So this would be a subset of that. At the same time it depends on your mentally going into it. I can sympathize a bit with someone that did it because he was desperate or confused. Still, I would rather date someone that had a sexual history similar to my own.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 06:18 PM
30

No, I want biological kids. If he doesn't like my genetics then he shouldn't be with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 06:40 AM
6

Life tip, if someone is a bad friend (eg. the friendship is one sized and they expect you to put in most of the effort) that person will be a bad partner too.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 06:43 PM
1

There can be some truth to that. There's some patterns common amongst boys and girls, but honestly everyone thrives with different methods of teaching. It's a good idea in general to explore different teaching methods. I think we're working on it, there's already a lot more projects, hands on assignments (eg. build a machine rather than memorize equations in physics), and gamified learning. In the past boys were taught with old methods regardless, and there were always boys that were more attune…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 05:46 PM
0

Of course not. There's a lot more to a person than if they can attract a partner. Most of the guys I admire most in real life, I never even think about their dating life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 03:21 PM
1

When I said bad reputation I'm talking about society in general's opinion of "will you be a danger to me or not". Not about if the opposite sex will date them. If a pro athlete starts acting crazy vs an average woman, people will try to neutralize the pro athlete first because he can do more damage. We also think wealthier people will have more to lose if they actually go unhinged or crazy so we're a bit less afraid of them vs someone that is in poverty. But that's true for both men and women. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 08:52 PM
2

Sometimes people do say stuff that is not aligned with reality and not really the best way to deal with their problems. But when women say things like that, a lot of people just let her think that. It's not really worth fighting her over it, because it really only hurts her at the end of the day. Unless she's a friend or family member, often it's not worth getting into a confrontation about it. I'm not sure why it's different for men. Most of the time when men say stuff like that we leave them a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 05:46 PM
10

A stay at home parent is not the hardest job, but there are a lot of jobs easier than that. Granted my kid is under 3 so maybe it gets a lot better after that and time frees up after they start school. I was only a stay at home mom (extended my mat leave) for a while just to try it. Both mine and my husband's job is a lot easier than childcare. We work a normal 40 hr week though, and work is pretty chill. It depends on how much you hate your job I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:55 PM
4

Yes: Watches porn 3X a week Feminist Refuses to use marijuana Very quiet Never kissed a girl Always has messy room 5 years younger than me Voted for Kamala Harris Believes that reincarnation is real First name same as my ex (right now I don't have an ex, so maybe my answer would change if I do) No: Uses marijuana once a month Dislikes physical exercise Doesn't believe gay marriage should be legal Believes abortions should be illegal Lives 1000 miles away Currently in a gang 5ft 5 Police officer …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 10:30 PM
–

Meh, I'm fine with being low maintenance as long as he's also low maintenance. A relationship is supposed to be relaxing and feels like home. It's really not that complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 06:01 PM
–

What do you mean? Do people try to convince you to continue to date a girl if she was rude to you on the date or ghosts you?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 07:41 PM
–

If someone is rude to you, or ghosts you, that can be below your threshold of "bare minimum standards of human behavior" and you don't have to date or be friends with them. I don't actually know any guy that continued dating a girl that was rude on a date or ghosted them. That's just normal human behavior across the board. Some people (men and women) are desperate and might deal with rude people more than others, but no one will hold it against you if you break it off with a girl that ghosted yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 06:33 PM
2

Just because you can find someone to pay for you doesn't mean you do it. If it brings joy to the guy to pay for me and it's something he actually wants to do, then sure I won't fight it. But if it's just something he feels like he has to do but don't really want to, then I wouldn't want him to do it. At the end of the day he's a person too, and just like dealing with any other person, it's not nice to try to get the most out of them just because you can. There are a lot of people that's willing …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 04:46 PM
1

It depends on the man and why he's rich. Basically we like to date people that are similar to us. People who suddenly got rich will still date based on their past preference regardless of money. But the vast majority of high income men are probably that way because his family and friends are that way. He clicks better with women that are similar to him in income and professional status. There's also some other reasons. I'm not a guy but I'm going off what my friends and brother tells me, and wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 04:35 PM
1

Yeah, most people that make $200k+ in a HCoL area also have a spouse that makes at least $100k. Not only because it's expensive to live in those areas, the culture is also such that it's very uncommon for a family to just have 1 person working.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 11:23 PM
3

You do reduce your dating pool more as you earn more if you're not willing to date down. Something strange happens when you hit a certain income though. At some point the number of men earning this amount and above significantly outnumber the number of women earning this amount. Most well off men are willing to date down, but not that much down, so your options increase. Not sure if this will continue with women being more educated and starting to out-earn men on all levels, but that's the situa…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 11:21 PM
1

Depends on what you want. I haven't tried the specific things you linked. But I do work at one of the companies that is on the forefront of developing new AI models, and get to try the newest models from that perspective. I never tried to flirt with it for treat it as a romantic partner, but I do interact with AI a lot. What I find is that they can seem very advanced and human-like at first. But if you talk to it long enough, after like a week it's becomes very obvious it's not a person. You can…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 08:40 PM
–

As a woman I think being strong and physically capable is more satisfying than being pretty. It doesn't give you as many benefits as being pretty, but it's darn satisfying being able to move how you want to move and just be competent with your own body.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 10:35 PM
–

I've worked and studied in a male dominated field for a long time. Bring it up the first natural chance you get. Like bring him up when you talk about what you're doing over the weekend or evening plans. After you mentioned him once, don't bring it up again unless it's super relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 10:30 PM
2

What kind of 26 year old fights with a 4 year old over her dad at graduation? For my graduating class I feel like no one's bf/gf was there unless they're graduating right along side with them. Like the idea of a boyfriend having to attend my graduation never crossed my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 08:19 PM
–

I don't know anyone in my circle that's willing to just leave the country just to find a wife. Most people have too much going on. Also most couples I know are both high earning, so no one is very interested in finding a spouse that they need to financially carry to that extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:10 PM
–

Being lonely and insecure isn't malicious by itself, it's how you deal with that feeling that speaks to who you are. FDS content tend to be anti-men in the same way redpill is anti-women, which basically means you consider the opposite gender to be an opposition of some sort and problem to solve. While this isn't as terrible as... say actually acting on those feelings and actively harming someone, it's not a good sign of how they deal with problems. Depending on how deep the relationship is, it …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:07 PM
–

That's fine. Thanks for donating and you deserve your sense of moral superiority. Much better than people who don't donate at all like myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 08:28 PM
–

Over the course of a lifetime, it's very realistic for a guy to be able to attract more than 1 woman. Even if it's a woman using him for something specific then leaving. Depending on someone never being able to attract someone or get the opportunity to cheat is not a good plan.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 07:11 PM
4

I am a very childish person and love the idea of having lots of fun and doing little work. And for 28 years of my life I happily did that. But I didn't try to date anyone during that time because I was aware it's not fair for me to bring someone into my life because I know I won't care about them them as much as I should, I had no mental capacity to think about someone else. Then one day I just wanted to be different. I wanted to add more content and responsibility into my life because I suddenl…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 08:17 PM
1

If someone's morality allows them to cheat in the first place, not going to clubs is not going to stop them. What's an exhausting way to live if you're that paranoid, how is that relationship worth that much paranoia and the mental energy to keep that up? There's no way of knowing if your spouse has poisoned your food every time you eat it, are you going to do a poison test every time you eat or keep track of everything they buy? And if you're to the point where you're willing to do that, why wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 03:47 AM
16

I thought most of you gen z kids don't go out anymore?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:49 PM
8

Do you want to be with someone if the only reason they're not cheating is because they never had the opportunity to?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:48 PM
–

Just dating is kind of low commitment. You don't need to be that sure to simply go on dates. If it's clear you wouldn't want to date her then obviously don't, but if you think you might or not sure, then that's when you go on dates to find out more.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 03:11 PM
–

You still date. I guess I'm demisexual since I can't really feel sexual attracted to someone until I know them well and feel emotionally connected. I still go on dates, the point of dates is to get to know them better. You can wait to have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 08:48 AM
1

Emotional availability is not the same thing as having emotional breakdowns or having emotional issues. It just means taking your emotions seriously and head on rather than avoiding it. Acknowledging your stress, sadness, happiness, excitement etc. towards stuff, rather than being indifferent to it. You can do that while being a very happy, mentally healthy and emotionally regulated person.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 11:24 PM
–

That's just a government run matchmaking service.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 06:16 PM
–

This used to bother me, but we all got older and we eventually all get partnered up with kids, it's not as much of a problem anymore. I think guys are confused on how to interact with women themselves when they're in their teens and 20's. I think most of the time it's not malicious, I've done and said really stupid things when I was young too. As novelty of sex / girls goes down and other things in life takes front stage, men chill out a lot more and it's easy to be platonic friends with them no…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 06:11 PM
–

If you put two random strangers together chances are they're not going to care about each other lives that much. The point of dating is to spend more time with them so eventually you do care about them on a more personal level. Same with making friends. It's just that with romance, lust creates a strong initial attraction so both sides are willing to try harder at first. But eventually lust can't carry the relationship and you two have to develop a deeper bond and actually care about each other …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 05:59 PM
1

Friends and comrades are the same thing. And most people make friends they can related to and have similar life goals as them. For you, being someone that seem to have certain goals, would obviously enjoy friends with similar goals and can support you. As you hang out with those people more, they become close friends. Some people just want to go to concerts and parties, and wouldn't mesh with people that's more serious. You're just finding your group of people and calling them "comrades" and eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 08:31 PM
1

If you can drop month long or year long relationships for someone at a whim it means that you developed no feelings or attachment to that initial person at all. The core of human affection is going beyond "what you can do for me" analysis. This type of comparison or analysis where people are kind of interchangeable might be common during the initial dating stage (5 dates might not be enough to develop deeper affection), but if it's still like that after months or years, something is really wrong…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 08:19 PM
3

Why does it make a big different if you find out something in adolescence vs a child? I agree that I used a simple example as to highlight how you can observe life is different even from what adults told you. It's not meant to be an exact comparison. Because adults will always bit a bit optimistic and positive towards their kids. Let's take your study example. Your parents told you studying and learning doesn't matter at all. How can you not figure out that's BS when you see other kids studying …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:48 PM
5

I think one thing that contribute to this is that discussions are now on the internet and global. In real life, I find myself really caring about someone else's problems no matter if I can relate to it or not. Even if I never experienced it or cannot imagine it at all, I try really hard to see things from their perspective even if it's very exhausting for me. But online, when people express their problems and they're not relatable or close to me, it's very easy for me to just not care. Because i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:54 PM
2

Adults will tell you a lot of stuff to you when you're a kid just to make you feel good about yourself. Because happy kids are adorable. My dad told me I was the smartest kid in the world... when I learned how to tie my shoelaces. All the adults around me told me how great and special I was and how I can be whoever I wanted to be and will be successful at anything I want to do. But once I'm able to think critically and hang out with other kids, I can see for myself they are clearly better at doi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:22 PM
–

I can understand why someone would be unhappy without a relationship. But I think it's unhealthy to disregard other enjoyable/happy things in life or dwell on it that much. I was single for the first 28 years of my life, if I let that one thing consume me, I wouldn't have enjoyed my life as much and wouldn't be as happy of a person. Being in a relationship is great, but being single was a big part of my life too and I had great memories from then. Plus my husband is a very cheerful and happy per…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:20 AM
–

I had a very strict no guys more than 4 years older than me rule in my early to mid 20's. At that age life changes pretty fast, and it's just more fun to date someone that's similar to you and going through the same stuff and it's what I'm looking for in a relationship. I had a mentor 4 years older than me and I respected him as a source of wisdom so much that it was hard to imagine dating, and therefore treating as an equal, someone the same age as him or older.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:09 AM
3

I mean yeah, even if you are married not working for most of your adult life is really detrimental and getting half of assets don't mean much when that's a finite resource and you don't have the means to make a good income yourself. Unless the amount of assets is significant enough I guess. This is why everyone told me to not put myself in that situation when I was young. That being said, being in a traditional relationship is a calculated risk, and sometimes it makes sense to take that risk giv…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:04 PM
16

Logically it makes sense that there is a version of a bad relationship that is better than no relationship. The factor most people are deciding on is how bad they think a relationship can potentially go. Men tend to be more fearless when going into a relationship with a woman than vice versa, because men can do more damage than women can just on difference in strength alone. And men are given more leeway to make sexual mistakes. It's not a surprise that given women's worse case scenario vs men's…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:55 PM
1

Wasn't trying to agree or disagree. Obviously men act differently from women while dating, which allows women to act differently too. I was adding some thoughts on the specifics of how women might navigate that using personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 08:06 AM
7

That's because men are willing to date down. I only dated people that made the same amount as me or more, but that's because I know men that made more than me are willing to date me, enough men that the dating pool is large enough for me to select for other positive traits in addition to it. When all else is equal, why wouldn't you want your future family to have more resources? If men suddenly are not willing to date down as much, and if I have to sacrifice significant qualities if I demanded e…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 01:33 AM
1

If I liked this guy, we're not in a relationship or have anything established, and I see them hanging out then yeah I would be a bit threatened that they might get into a relationship first.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:07 PM
2

Ok I think I get it. I lean blue pill, and it seems like the difference is that I think the good men you mention are common and easy to bump into without strategy, while you think they're rare and need more strategy to find and keep.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 01:00 PM
8

This actually sounds pretty bluepill to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 11:49 PM
–

An equivalent mother to the type of father you would be. Probably still better.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:01 PM
1

Not now, since I love my husband and no amount of money will make up for losing someone so close like that. Before I had any kind of romance though, maybe like $5 million would convince me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:58 PM
1

I mean I have a pretty low libido too so that would be fine with me. If he had a high libido, and we're mismatched that way, then it's mostly because I don't want him to go without. There's got to be some girl that's just as good as me but match his libido better. It's important for my partner to be truly happy in a relationship with me, not just forcing himself to do things my way. If I had high libido and him low, then yes it's better than no relationship, but that's not my 2 choices and there…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:52 PM
3

You're right that if your partner is making you unhappy either with weaponized incompetence or something else you can just leave. But that's true for all of men's grievances as well. I think most of the time when women are complaining about emotional labor, it is already in a lens of why they want to leave or not be in a relationship. I mostly hear it in the context of "I know I will be expected to do emotional labor, so I won't date or will have my standards high in other areas to make up for i…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 09:24 PM
11

That's great! It feels nice to be able to enjoy all kinds of things in life right? And if an opportunity comes along, it doesn't mean you can't take it, but you can still enjoy your life and live happily regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 08:54 PM
3

It is exhausting to be with someone that does not communicate clearly. It absolutely can be! So if both parties find it exhausting to talk to each other, that's all the more reason to have a break up. It's not a trial where someone has to be exclusively at fault more than the other for a break up to happen. Express them clearly first. Then this makes sense. Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. I can't judge without actually knowing the situation. Maybe this can be solved easily by one side communi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 08:25 PM
13

Yes and no, I think some people might need some hand holding with receiving communication and often I do that just in case. But I also think adults and the average person should have general competency in reading context. It's a bit exhausting to be with someone that needs everything spelled out for them. When our partners are not acting when we express our frustrations, usually it means they are either bad at reading emotions / context in general, or they know but don't care about you enough to…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 07:20 PM
–

Something about kids eyeing inheritance money bothers me. I don't want to see a single cent of inheritance money. I want them to live ridiculously long lives and to have splurged all the money to enjoy their lives as much as possible. I guess I want them to "die with zero" too much because they were able to spend all the money on themselves. I don't want any part of that money.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:47 PM
3

I'm even ignoring some of the really extreme takes since I know there's outliers and extremists in every group. But even the relatively moderate ones are very skewed towards dating issues, like they're willing to ignore all other unfair things towards men as long as there are unfair things against women too that would make it easier for them to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 03:49 AM
6

Yeah, when I first heard of the men's rights movement I was very glad something like that exists. I felt like men had a lot of legitimate issues and it's good that they have a group to advocate for those issues like women had with feminism. But then it got overrun by dating issues and it felt like the men in the community cared more about getting a date than anything else. Often more obsessed with weakening women than lifting up men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 02:41 PM
0

Decentering something doesn't mean you don't do it, it just means it's not the main thing you care about in your life. I have a job but I don't center my work. I don't tie my self worth to my job. If I get laid off I would be sad, but not devastated because there's a bunch of other stuff in life I care about that makes me happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 02:30 PM
1

I think very few people intend to be single moms. But some people might kinda just go with the flow or let feelings of love take over without being super intentional in vetting the guy, since it feels too calculated and less passionate. Young people also are more likely to act impulsively so it's worth reminding.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 02:24 PM
2

So people shouldnt run from a bad parent for the sake of having two parents? No, you should leave a bad parent. Sometimes life happens and unideal situations happen and you make the best of it. But if you're thinking of having a child, you should try to set yourself up to have the highest success rate. Which means at least aiming for a 2 parent household, and not just 2 parents, but good extended families like good grandparents / aunts and uncles etc. Also making sure the other parent is the typ…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 12:10 AM
2

I think you and FearlessSea just have a different definition of the total scope of "events". You are defining events as just within the scope romantic interactions you're involved, while she is defining events as a set of all events that may happen that could lead up to a successful relationship. You tend to have a lot of control and influence over the romantic interactions you take part in and can create, but if you include all of the chance encounters that led to all these romantic interaction…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 12:00 AM
2

I don't mind paying for myself at all and proactively offer to split the bill because I know it's an awkward thing for the guy to bring up. But I'm not looking for a provider so obviously I wouldn't select for the desire to pay during the dating process. But you were specifically talking about women that are looking for providers. In that case there is value in asking the man to pay and gauge his reaction. When someone agrees to go on a date with you, you get their time, time they can use to get…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 05:16 AM
2

Yes, this is a great idea. A person is so much more than just their romantic relationships. I wish more men do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 07:27 PM
6

If you're only "decentering" women to impact women's behavior, by definition you're not decentering women, you're super centering them because now it's all about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 07:23 PM
13

For this discussion I will group non cis white men as "marginalized group" and cis white men as ... well cis white men. I think you're saying that you wish liberals treat you just as well as marginalized groups because you are an ally of marginalized group, and you feel it's unfair for them to punish you for not being a part of the marginalized group even though you support and want to ally with them. Personally I think that makes sense, and I think a lot of people will treat you well for being …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 06:38 PM
1

Or you can just ask to split the bill without treating it like some strategic operation. Although people spend money without a guarantee all the time. I help people out all the time without an expectation to be paid back. But if I was a guy I would think it's unfair that it's always me and I might ask to split the bill or at least take turns paying. Most guys will fight you to pay though, or assume if I paid it means I'm not interested in a second date. Many people just go with the flow, and of …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 11:08 PM
2

That's another topic which is the whole debate on who pays. Personally I don't see a reason why men has to pay by default and I tend to offer to split the bill anyways no matter how the date goes. But if the agreement or understanding between you two is that you're paying, it's kinda sad to ask for money back if she doesn't want to continue to date you. The traditional agreement when a man pays is that he is paying for the woman's time on a first date. You're not paying for her to give you a sec…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 09:02 PM
23

If a woman doesn't like the man enough that she wants to leave early. Wouldn't it be in the man's best interest that she just go rather than leading him on? Being rude is wrong, but if she's mature about it I think it's in both of their best interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 02:50 PM
2

Thanks. I share more common interests with men, but I naturally feel closer to women. I can talk about specific topics with men for hours and hours and really enjoy myself, and are often bored and don't have much to say when my girl friends are talking about their areas of interest. But at the end of the day when I have problems or need emotional support, I go to my girl friends. My oldest closest friends are women. If I enter a room full of strangers, my instinct is to go and find a group of gi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 02:48 AM
2

It changes a lot depending on where I am in life. It was school, then work, then my relationship, then kids. Although those are my core "focuses", I have always spent the most time just playing and pursuing whatever it is I have the most fun with at the moment. Most of the time it's video games adjacent, like building a PC, training to get better at whatever game I'm into at the time, making my own games, table top RPGs or at one point I was super into esports and being involved in that communit…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 03:27 PM
2

You seem to think women wants infinite money, and I feel like my experience with women earning around the same as me is different. Obviously my peers and I have very little financial struggles or pure financial stress. Which is why I thought we should distinguish what level of wealth we're talking about since it impacts behavior. In my situation, more money often doesn't do much. Yes, there is a level of lifestyle above mine, but I don't think it's worth sacrificing anything material to get more…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 08:37 PM
1

Do we have to talk in bananas? Real numbers are easier to relate to and we can more easily imagine the life situations of our examples. Like you said the type of lifestyle, upbringing, and habits matter, it's not just about relative numbers in income. Anyways, I'm not sure I completely understand what you're saying. But it seems like you're implying that a woman can find someone that makes more than her (1.5 -> 4), but not ridiculous more than her (1.5 -> 40). Which is true, men don't want to da…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 05:57 AM
4

Not really, I'm not sure about the new wave of new grads with there being more women in college and stuff now. But I'm in my mid 30's and the number of high earning men out number the number of high earning women. I make around $400k, and so do my coworkers. Most of them are men and is willing to date down, but not that much down. So they're looking for like $150k or up. I help introduce them to my friends since I have some high earning friends that fits their criteria, but the demand to be intr…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 11:33 PM
–

Meh she's 20, when you're 20 a 3 year age gap seems pretty high. Since you're in college that will mean the other person is either already working / graduated or in high school, which feels like worlds apart. An age gap of 3 years seems more normal after you're out of school. That age gap seems ok to me now, but I definitely wouldn't have dated anyone 3 years older than me when I was 20.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 10:14 AM
–

No, it's just like doing a group project with a friend. Except the group project is life stuff. It should be relaxing and you should feel great having a back up for a lot of stuff you used to tackle yourself. Stuff like being burnt out or getting sick feels a lot better because you can just shut down for a bit while the other person takes over. You'll need teamwork skills like communication, compassion, emotional intelligence, and compromise like you would when dealing with any other human. You …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:36 PM
–

Kinda
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:28 PM
–

Definitely break up, this is a huge dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:27 PM
1

I would be very disappointed in him. But if that's how he feels, I don't want him to be in a situation he feels uncomfortable in. Since there's no kids that makes it a lot better so I'm just glad for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:23 PM
–

That's still around $80k but that's closer to $50k than I thought. Living in a HCOL area totally screwed up my down payment expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 05:35 PM
–

Your down payment's $50k?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 05:28 PM
–

I know mortality is natural but it's hard to face in reality. I'm not very independent though, I'm a big baby but I love this lifestyle and don't want to let go.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 05:26 PM
–

Ask your parents to ask your grandma
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 04:35 PM
–

I'm not religious, and if there's proof that God exists then yeah I would change my actions to fall in line with whatever religion that is. Except extreme cases like making me hurt a loved one or something. Basically depending on the nature of the God I might act more like I have a gun to my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 04:31 PM
–

My parents are around 63 right now and I'm 34. I'm already sad they're aging and what that means for how long I have left with them. And obviously at my age I'm much less dependent on them and have a family of my own already. I assume this feeling will be even stronger if I was a teenager. I also feel bad my kids won't have as long with them as I did with my grandparents. They used to be like superheroes for me you know, it's strange to be "stronger" than them (although they're still the ones ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 04:27 PM
28

I don't want a matriarchy. Abuse of power is bad no matter who's doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 08:08 PM
–

I'll have it mostly figured out by the time the date ends. But I might spend 10 minutes thinking it over and making sure my initial instincts makes sense. If there's something I'm on the fence about I might call my parents or friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 10:51 PM
1

No, plenty of my guy friends fall into this category.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 06:47 AM
4

People tolerate more childish tendencies from women than men. In fact a lot of men actively rewards women for acting a child-like way. For example, women that cry and act weak often get more attention and help compared to one that is more stoic. It's not a great system but that's how it is right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:20 PM
3

Then just say that. You're not sure, but you can be a bit awkward. That was the case for me too. I also have a lower sex drive than most girls, which could be a legitimate dealbreaker for some people, which is why it's still a good idea to investigate.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:13 PM
4

Having some red flags isn't the end of the world.I don't think that makes you low value or anything, it just means it's not the norm and it's often wise to look into why. I had red flags, my husband had red flags, most people have some red flags because most people have something that's outside of "normal".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:08 PM
6

25, this is just a vague number in your mid-20's. I only picked this number because I feel like most people had at least 1 relationship by then so not having a relationship by then is odd and needs looking into. That doesn't necessarily mean it's bad, but a flag is just something that catches your attention to be investigated further. I'm saying this as someone that didn't get into a relationship until I was 28. I totally expected guys to consider that red flag and go into dating me questioning …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:03 AM
2

But if you just plainly refuse to believe me when I tell you my opinion, when specifically asked for my opinion, no productive conversation can be had here. Regardless, I gain or lose nothing if you believe me or not. Your value system is different from mine. You see things like well known as good things, while I'm a super introvert and hate the spotlight so a well known husband would really mess with my lifestyle. We might live in different worlds, I have no idea what 2A guys are, what ATF is, …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 06:53 AM
2

Goku is great. But I guess because I saw DBZ as a young child Gohan was more of my age when I first watched the show, and I can think of him as a peer and Goku was more of a guardian / adult figure to look up to. I remember being very gleeful during the cell saga when the announcer said he was 11 years old because that was exactly my age and I was happy we were the same age (childhood crush things). Lots of people hates on how he stopped fighting when he grew up, but I liked that about him. He's…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 10:59 PM
5

Not particularly. I mostly have anime crushes. Gohan from DBZ was a pretty big crush.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:32 PM
6

I'm not surprised that slutty Henry Cavill isn't having trouble finding women. Because not everyone is against dating slutty people, and many people likes dating attractive people. Out of the entire population of the world, of course you'll have a good amount of people that is willing to date that. Just like slutty hot girls don't have problems finding good husbands. Someone asked me a question, I answered it. If you don't want to believe it then nothing I can or want to do about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:30 PM
11

Nope, there's only so much that money and looks can do before diminishing returns. But if I marry someone that is not compatible with me will subtly or very explicitly chip at my happiness for the rest of my life. I honestly have enough money and is married to a good looking enough guy that there's not much more happiness to get by adding more to those 2 attributes. Henry Cavill doesn't do much for me, if I was on a first date with him and he tries to kiss me, I would pull back just as I would w…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 10:46 AM
31

No for me at least. But my standards are very prudish. I don't date anyone who is open to casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:06 AM
9

I don't want to nitpick on terminology, but to me having doubt about someone doesn't mean I don't trust that person. I can be 98% sure and still call that having a small amount of doubt. Trust but verify is inherently not 100% trusting. I work in information security and we use that term all the time when it comes to authentication and stuff. It's just a buzz word, we're absolutely verifying because of a lack of trust. Which is fine. And in the context of a corporate environment, nobody cares be…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:19 PM
12

How are those different things? I feel like possibility that this child is not mine is exactly the same thing as I have doubt this child is not mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:01 PM
10

It can be both. It definitely IS an accusation of some sort, there's no way around that. Asking for a paternity test means you have some doubt, even if it's 2%, that the child is not yours. It's normal to feel insulted and unhappy when someone tries to verify something where the only possible reason it would need verification is because you did something unscrupulous. Especially since pregnancy giving birth is such a huge ordeal, and they really like you, trust you, and expect your trust back. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:49 PM
–

I wish
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 04:25 PM
–

Moderation is key. Humans are meant to live in a community and generally have a large group of people to lean on. But some individualism is healthy. It creates progress if you're allowed to think differently. Plus there will always be people that will be different and won't fit the mold, and a good society takes that into account and tries to channel their differences in a healthy and productive way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 08:02 PM
6

Yeah my entire relationship strategy is not as much aiming to bring a lot of value but to not make their lives worse so I net slightly better than them being single. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 05:55 PM
9

I am one of these women. I'm actually terrible at basic life skills because my parents did everything for me and just told me to focus on studying. I didn't actually realize tables don't clear themselves or laundry doesn't do themselves until I moved to the other side of the country for work. Because even in college my mom would visit every weekend and take care of the basic chores. I made some effort to get better at it in my mid 20's before starting to date because I felt like people should ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 04:58 PM
1

I would not trade away my relationship for winning the lottery just saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 11:48 PM
1

Things change my mind all the time. Based on statistics and logic alone, given the % of knowledge and experiences you had in your life vs the totality of reality, if you never change your mind statistically you are very likely to be wrong. I learn things from the internet all the time, so I don't particularly feel like it's a big enough deal to proactively tell someone they changed my mind if it was just a passing comment. But if I'm in a conversation with someone and there's always some back an…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 08:15 PM
2

how many dates have you been on with men you are attracted to and how many that you weren't attracted to? Like I said I've only been online dating (with the exception of a couple of date my parents / grandparents introduced me to. So if I matched with someone, I am at least attracted to him on the surface level. That doesn't mean I like him in any meaningful way, since he's just a few pictures and some text on the screen at first. There are some people that I meet and dislike quickly, and I obvi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:44 PM
1

Risk of what? The guy not being a good person? That's something I'll keep a pulse on throughout the dating process. I haven't met many bad people in my life, so I don't go in assuming or looking for bad things. I try to minimize physical risk in a reasonable way (eg. making sure we're meeting in public places, not putting myself in risky situations, filtering for people with traits that are likely to be safe to be around) etc. Other than that if I see concerning signs, or if I don't feel great a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:46 AM
2

I mean online dating is pretty popular now, and you don't really know people you meet from there. I met my husband there and pretty much only have dating experience through online apps so I'm just speaking to what I know. If you are dating someone you already know, then what I said isn't applicable here. And yeah, it's not fun and flirting and attraction if you're essentially meeting a stranger for the first time. Just like you probably won't have too much fun if you went camping with random str…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:38 AM
1

I like doing things the most effective way. The most efficient way to know someone quickly is to just meet them. You get the most value for your time meeting someone in person. You can get some information through text or looking them up online and such, but it's not as efficient. When you're looking for compatibility, do the thing that gives you the biggest chunk of information first. Then you are in a better position to decide if you want to continue and dig deeper.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 10:40 PM
3

Assuming this isn't a first date with someone you already know situation. How would I know if I like someone if I never met them? And you don't have to pay for the date if you don't want to. She can't force you to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 10:36 PM
1

Yeah, when I was single several times a year or so. But for the same reason I mentioned above, acting on desperation is not a good idea. Like I said, does keeping a GF only because you're giving her way more than she gives back actually sexually validating for you? If not then why not just wait those 5 years? One advantage men have is they can take more time to figure things out. Waiting 5 years should matter less to you than me. If you insist then I have no way of stopping you. But the only rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:36 PM
2

Everything goes into joint accounts. We pretend we're 1 person. Makes things simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:19 PM
2

No problem with that either. I don't really crave sexual validation much. Especially if the sexual validation means the other person takes and never gives. Even if you do care about sexual validation a lot, is it even that sexually validating to be in a relationship if the only reason you're in it is because you give way more? In my experience good people wouldn't want to keep taking without giving back. You are self selecting for people that are willing to hurt you if think like this. I'm not s…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:28 AM
2

I have no problem being alone for 5 years, and I definitely will be fine with that if the alternative is a bad relationship where we will just separate after 5 years anyways. I found my first boyfriend and romantic relationship when I was 28. I get that if you feel like opportunities are scarce you might be inclined to let your romantic partners get away with things your friends wouldn't. And it might work at the beginning because lust is doing its job of making men and women like each other. Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 12:48 AM
1

It do not, it's a make believe premise of people that want to use the "the wife should be your best friend" to rationalize the reduction of sexual activity in a relationship, it's not friendship, never was, never will be. Your wife doesn't have to be everyone's best friend. Sometimes you have very strong same sex friendships that is very difficult for someone of the opposite gender to relate the same way. That being said, if you live with someone long enough, it's normal for that person to end u…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 09:28 PM
1

Early stages of dating yes it's different since honestly both of you don't know each other and chances are initially the draw / hook to the opposite gender is lust. But once you're in a relationship, it becomes a specialized form of friendship. There is an additional layer of complexity compared to a standard friendship, but it's a skill built on top of friendship. One example you brought up is simping. Between friends there is usually even give and take. If the relationship is super one sided, …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:41 PM
–

I heard this saying from SE Asia somewhere in a YouTube video or something so not sure how reliable it is. It says if you're poor then you should have a daughter. If she's pretty she can marry a rich man, if she's not then she can marry a white man. My guess is that it's not a simple matter to marry to another country or to someone that barely speaks your native language and can't relate to you when it comes to upbringing and cultural background. It's something that is probably most appealing to…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:51 AM
–

Maybe. I don't really know how much changed. I think I get along with most people though.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:44 AM
–

Personally I matured very slowly. But I was very coddled by my parents so that might have something to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:40 AM
1

I'm a pretty happy person overall, with a relationship or not. So the only thing the guy needs to do really is to not make my life worse overall, or slightly better than it was before.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 11:21 PM
1

You can kind of tell which compliments are fake and which ones are real. I would thank them either way because no matter what they tried to say something nice, probably with the goal to make me feel good about myself, and that is nice by itself. But obviously more sincere compliments make me happier.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 11:18 PM
0

I love other women in the work place. My best managers and mentors are women. They all like me almost irrationally and cut me way more slack than they should. Young men are great too. The people that I tend to have friction with are boomer or older Gen X men, they're too serious and are very inflexible with their work styles. Older women can be a bit like that too, but for some reason I'm very good at making them all motherly towards me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 04:53 AM
–

I think this is probably true a few decades ago. Now I think a lot of content people view and how we grow up really messes with our ability to connect with other people in general. We put people in boxes before even getting to know them, and wants a playbook on how to interact with people and expect certain results rather than just saying hi. We read too much into other people's responses and judge ourselves and others too much rather than just having fun talking to people. This extends to frien…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 07:55 PM
–

My grandpa was one of the people that's most opposed to age gaps in my relationships. Both older men and women in my family are that way. They say once you're their age, you're not impressed by older people being good at stuff or have more resources because they're older, because of course you'll be better at stuff if you have longer to achieve it. They agree that if you're in poverty maybe the best course of action is to marry an older guy, since if you're having problems surviving day to day t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 04:09 PM
2

What do you mean that's not how it works? Is that not the law? Or is the law not enforced like that?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 10:03 PM
10

She wouldn't get alimony if she kept a job / career, but child support is for the child, and only happens if she has full custody of the child. And if she was not the primary caretaker because she worked and took care of the child equally, then the father has a good chance of getting 50/50 custody if he tried for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 07:58 PM
–

I think most women just don't think they're shallow. And I don't consider high standards shallow, single dimension standards are shallow. Are women punished by men or society for having shallow preferences, which pressures them to claim to have none? - Not particularly. I don't feel pressure to be not shallow, not more than guys I think. Are women trying to be pick-me's as well, and are simply lying about shallow preferences to better compensate for their own lack of options? - I don't understan…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 11:24 PM
–

Women and men are both beholden to the same laws. I think you're trying to say that men can't use their physical strength to their full advantage, but you can't do that to other men either, it's not about women. It's the foundation of community. It very well might be that at some point, some group of humans decided to let people take whatever they want by force. But there will be no trust or community built, children will either be killed easily or don't have generational guidance, and they are …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 11:11 PM
0

Have to rip the band aid off at some point. We can't just have a huge ponzi scheme as a retirement plan forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:39 PM
–

Same reason it's wrong for one man to kill another man to take his money just because he's stronger. But it's not wrong for the stronger man to out-compete the weaker man for a strength based job and make more money than the weaker man. You can use your advantages to get nice things for yourself, but not by harming someone else or forcefully taking it from someone else. That's how most societies work. If you want to be technical, that is technically a type of "might makes right". Individuals can…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:17 PM
10

Women are not more moral than men. Men and women are pretty similar in what they want, but have different tools to work with. There are women I bet that have all the personality traits of a violent criminal, but doesn't have the strength and intimidation factor to pull that off. But she likes the lifestyle and thrives in that environment, so she sticks close to a man that can actually act on the things she wants to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 10:11 PM
–

Someone to travel the world with isn't that much of a pipe dream. Maybe I'm a bit out of touch here, but if you are living the rest of your life with someone, there's a very good chance you'll get the travel with them a lot. It's not like that's what you do all the time, but over your lifetime it's not uncommon you get to travel the world a bit with your spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 09:31 PM
3

I don't know about supermodel looking men, but I'm around a lot of rich men. They don't lie much, and are pretty gentlemanly overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 09:28 PM
6

I don't think it's a good idea to start any potential relationship by telling the other person you're already defensive against them. Like I never expect any guy to pay for me on dates, and would offer to split the bill every time because I know it can be awkward for guys to bring it up especially if he's kinda shy. But if he tells me that he's not willing to pay for me because he doesn't want to get played by me, it would create a strange animosity between us.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 06:52 PM
1

Why do you wait to have sex? Religious reasons? Bad past experiences? Something else? - I simply don't want to have sex with someone I'm unfamiliar or don't feel a deep enough connection with. I'm not exactly waiting for anything, if I'm not having sex with someone, it's because I don't feel close enough to them for sexual desire to develop. What methods of meeting romantic partners do you utilize? Is length of time before sex dependent on these methods? (i.e. you would wait longer for someone y…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 07:58 AM
11

I have single female friends and single male friends. If they're compatible I will definitely introduce them. One couple I introduced married recently!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 03:10 AM
1

Paternity tests are not banned or anything, dads can get a DNA test without the mom's consent, and he can choose to not sign the birth certificate. The only thing is that asking for one might hurt the mom's feelings, which can't be helped because of the implication. But if it's important enough for you, have the tough conversation. The thing that causes hurt feelings isn't the paternity test or the prenup itself, but the action of going out of your way to get the paternity test, or to draft a pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 10:10 PM
2

You might just be really good at reading people then, or just enjoy socializing enough to do something like that and go through the trial and error. Personally I feel like any effort I can make in a shopping setting I would rather put in some other more social setting and get a much better reception / return on my effort. I also don't think you need to be hurrying and rushing to not want to talk. You can be relaxed and having fun, but that doesn't mean you want to talk to a stranger. It's just n…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 10:19 PM
2

Fair. Personally 95% of the time I wouldn't be in the mood to chat, so I just feel like it it's just an inefficient way to get to know people. You can still do it but it feels like it's going to be wasted effort most of the time compared to trying to talk to someone when they're receptive to socializing and not in the middle of something.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:16 PM
1

Yeah that's fine. I assumed when you said approaching you meant hitting on someone or showing romantic interest. Otherwise it's just chatting. Although often I wouldn't really want to chit chat with strangers when I'm out shopping though. So at least for me I would be more likely to try to end the conversation early so I can get back to what I was doing, this would be true for a guy, girl, or old lady trying to start a conversation with me while I was in the middle of doing something.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:07 PM
2

That's true but not the only reason. Many people I know, including myself found our spouses on dating apps. We met as strangers and able to choose from anyone. We still all ended up marrying into our same socioeconomic class. We're just more comfortable with and relate more to people of our same background / similar upbringing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:51 PM
1

Depth is the reason we are careful on who we marry. It's not shallow to think deeply about who you're going to form a family and legal union with. Life is complex and deep, it's not just about butterflies in your stomach. It's shallow to only follow feelings. That doesn't mean you have to get a prenup, I didn't. But you should go into marriage with both eyes open and a very clear understanding of what that means from a legal perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:47 PM
2

Lots of women wouldn't want to be approached randomly, because the setting is wrong and you might turn off someone that might be receptive to you in other circumstances. For example, the woman that said that to you might actually view men that approach her while shopping as creepy, but would be open to him in other situations. That doesn't mean it never works, I just don't think it's a good strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:38 PM
3

I'm UMC and surrounded by UMC. We are almost all very high effort parents. But I think that's because we were raised with very high effort parents, so high effort parenting feels normal and what children deserve. Yeah sometimes we give ourselves more stress than we should, but it feels nice and it reminds you of how you felt as a child and a special type of fulfilling when you're recreating the situation you received as a child as a parent. I think the low fertility rate is simply because develo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 07:17 PM
1

Yes, but that's because I prefer the life path that is typical of a man. There are pros and cons of being a man and a woman, I happen to think I appreciate the pros of being a man and not too bothered by the cons of being a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:26 PM
2

Being a bad person can get you a lot of things in the short term. But over the long term, I think being a good person pays off really well. At least in my experience it has. When I first graduated and got my first job, my grandpa took me aside for a talk. He said that I'm just starting in my career and adult life right now, and over the next few years I might see a lot of people get ahead by being selfish. And it might work for them, because they're willing to step over other people / hurt other…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 08:15 PM
4

Real - most people in my family. Mom, dad, grandparents, aunts /uncle. They're all great. Some teachers. Fictional - Gohan from DBZ.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 01:05 AM
3

I feel exactly the opposite way. I think most people are good and reasonable, and I will be able to get into a happy marriage with a good percentage of them. Obviously given the choice I will marry the best person I can find that will make me the happiest, and I will spend a lot of time and have high standards since it's a very big decision. But at the end of the day, I honestly feel like if you give me a random guy, there is a very good chance I can make it work reasonably well. I wouldn't be a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 07:08 AM
–

I get your point, but there are many types of people out there and you can't control what other people want. Plenty of guys expects sex after the first date, or first few dates. I just make sure to clarify that I'm not ok with that and if they don't want another date because of that then that's totally fine. I'm not going to ask them to change because there are plenty of women that are ok with that or prefer that, and those guys should be pairing up with those girls. They're not wrong, I'm just …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:24 PM
4

Totally fine. It feels a bit more avoidant than decenter, but that's fine too. Sometimes people find it hard to decenter without avoiding altogether, and it's fine if that's what they have to do to decenter.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 03:45 AM
–

When I was single in a new city I would fly back home and spend Christmas with my parents. Maybe people were expecting you to say something like that? Then they'll go into normal small talk and stuff like asking me how my parents are doing. It's not malicious.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 09:05 PM
1

No problem, the fact that I'm with him and he doesn't do these things means I'm ok with these things not being done. The reason I didn't care is because I don't highly value grand gestures and gifts like that anyways. The things that made me actually like him is still there, and it's normal for people to grow and change for different reasons. He might've been financially irresponsible in the past, that's not a good thing. The person I ended up liking is the version of him he grew into right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:58 PM
1

It feels nice to win a fight and watch your husband or boyfriend win a fight. But he can also lose the fight and I wouldn't want to risk it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 07:20 AM
3

I did some quick Googling and you're right. The <1% number might have came from the stat that 0.62% of rape prosecutions resulted in a prosecution for false accusation. I heard the rate of false accusations were low, no one ever mentioned how low but just low in general. Honestly no one around me has ever been impacted so I didn't give it much thought. It's good to educate people and speak up when you think people are being mislead. I learned something today and that's nice. People are generally…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 10:20 PM
5

All of my jobs in the past all built me up so that I can get a better job in the future. Relationships don't train skills in you the same way. You're not relying on an institution, you're relying on your own competency and skills you hone in over the years. Just like developing any skill or muscle. Getting better at your job is a very good investment. It's much easier and simpler to get another job than another partner. Jobs are transactional and predictable, I do work, you give me money. I leav…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 08:15 PM
–

You're only 20. People go at different paces in life. Some people go fast and slow down at different points in their lives. Once you're older and look back, you'll notice a lot of that evens out, but when you're just starting out small differences will seem very big. Some people have good internships, but not good return offer. Some people start out at a really good role, but don't get promoted as fast because they're not as good at their job or burn out. Some people couldn't get a job in the fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 07:05 PM
–

I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 28 so no. People grow at different speeds and things come at different times for different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 09:58 AM
–

Being arrogant and having confidence is different. Being arrogant is a negative personality trait that is enabled by confidence. If you're arrogant when you become more attractive, you getting more attractive isn't the main problem, it means you weren't a great person on the inside anyways and being confident let that out. You should want someone to be confident because they'll more readily show you who they are on the inside upfront rather than you finding out when you're more invested.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:11 AM
–

You just said "Frumpy" girls are more attractive than other girls that do their make up (instagram girls), so why is it strange that they behave like they're just as attractive than the instagram girls? Should've people behave according to their reality? If they're more attractive than instagram girls, shouldn't they act like they're more attractive than them, not less?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 09:24 PM
3

It was great for me. I'm too shy to both approach anyone or to be receptive to other people's approaches romantically. Too often I can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic interest and just lump everything into platonic just in case because I feel more at ease dealing with platonic relationships. Online dating took ambiguity out of it and gave me a very straight forward way to engage in dating at least for the first several steps.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 07:48 PM
1

Purple pill (leans blue) and female. I cared because if it impacts my life I care. But I didn't care enough to change much. I'm just too lazy and content with who I was to make significant changes. I was ok with less people finding me attractive if I means I can be myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:08 AM
1

Yes, yes and yes. And I make a lot of money and isn't hurting for money. But why not date someone that makes more money? It's dumb if that's the only criteria, but it's also silly to not care about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:05 AM
2

This is actually consistent in the animal kingdom too. The less investment the males has in the offspring, the more selective the females are with genetics. Because the male is literately contributing to nothing else. That's where you get the insane stuff that male animals do in the wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:18 PM
0

I mean... I don't know about dating, but from a child's perspective - I don't think someone that has a dismissive or avoidant attachment style would make a good father. My dad was super involved and attentive, when I think of a good dad, dismissive and avoidant are not words that I would associate with one. So if it's true that a good chunk of never married men have dismissive and avoidant attachment styles, then that checks out with women not selecting for guys that behave like they would be ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:15 PM
6

And that would be a really shitty thing to do to your husband I would judge her very harshly too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:07 PM
4

Have you been primary caretaker or are you just making this up? To be fair, I haven't ever had school aged children, but given how fast the day passes when I'm literately just trying to get a few chores done on the weekend, I can totally imagine getting overwhelmed. It kind of is your partner's responsibility to help unburden you if you're heavily burdened. Why wouldn't it be? That's one of the things that a life partner and family do for each other. My husband and I work the same amount, but I …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:06 PM
7

In my experience men clearly find accomplishments attractive though. When I date it's much easier to get attention from men when I lead with accomplishments that they respect rather than any feminine stuff. Men and women have differences, especially around threshold to have sex. But I think being attracted to someone you're impressed by and hold in high regard is pretty universal. I also think more men than women rather have a bad relationship than no relationship, which makes them select from a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 12:04 AM
30

Division of chores completely depends on how much capacity each person has after their other obligations. If the kids are at school, and the mom doesn't have much else to do, then of course do a bit more housework. If the mom has a bunch of stuff to take care of and is already overwhelmed, and dad's work is not very heavy, then take on some of the chores. Most SAHMs with school aged children probably has no problem with tackling the majority of the chores while their kids are in school. Women ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 09:45 PM
–

I thought guys are typically taught this when growing up. All guys I met assumed they were stronger than me and are naturally protective because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 01:21 PM
2

Just because most people like pizza, doesn't mean all people like pizza. There are going to be some people that find bugs delicious and pizza yucky. People are different. Most people are straight, because that's biologically wired for reproduction. But some people are built different, their brain chemistry is a bit different for whatever reason, and is not like most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 06:16 AM
–

I loved that monologue, I liked how Goku and Buu was just biting each other through such a serious moment for Vegeta.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 09:40 PM
1

Because I'm too shy to, and the same time enough guys take initiative so that I'm not often forced out of my comfort zone. I would have probably been more successful if I initiated more, but before it gets so bad that I force myself to initiate, often the guy would do so first.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:37 PM
3

A partner shouldn't feel like they can control or have the right to punish their partner for behavior. Your partner is not your child. At the same time, it's normal to have opinions and ideas of how you want your partner to act. And it's normal to be unhappy if they act in a way that is against your lifestyle and values. In a relationship, you need to balance what makes you happy and what makes your partner happy. Ideally what makes you happy should be very similar to what makes your partner hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:30 PM
1

10/15. 11 if social event includes stuff like anime / gaming clubs and not just parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:27 PM
1

The vast majority of people I know making that much are silicon valley tech. But I do know a few people in traditional high earning jobs like doctors, lawyers, investment bankers and stuff. The dating culture is a bit different between them (like how much dates cost and how much they're willing to show wealth) but they rarely date someone making significantly less. At least before they got together. Sometimes the wife quits after to focus on kids and stuff. It does happen, like I know 1 guy that…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 02:46 AM
1

They're mostly just my coworkers, ex-coworkers or old classmates, mainly software engineers or along those lines (like DevOps, Hardware, Infosec etc.). Most of them in FAANG (not all of them in literately those companies, but comparable prestige and compensation).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 01:23 AM
5

I think that would be nice. Most school do claim to have zero tolerance policies for bullying but don't tend to enforce it that well. When my brother was getting bullied I sneaked him out of the school (didn't leave through the front entrance) so he didn't encounter the bully as much. Eventually I think the bully just forgot about him. For myself, girls tend to bully with words more than beating you up (and not to toot my own horn that much, but I was pretty good at fighting if they wanted to go…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 01:18 AM
-1

High earning men often have their own standards and won't just marry any woman. Most men I know makes over $300k, and most prefer to date women that makes at least $150k. If they go around and flashing their wealth around and marry a woman that makes less than 50k, there's a very good chance they will not be compatible in a variety of areas. You would also be shining a beacon to anyone looking to date just for money if you do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 12:47 AM
8

What type of assistance would be helpful? Something like the father having a talk with the son, regular check-ins to make sure he's feeling ok? I didn't really have much support for my puberty except my mom telling me how to manage my period and sexual safety talks.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 10:16 PM
–

Sorry I couldn't read. Makes sense. My mom told me there are more practical differences between races / cultures and economic status than there will be between the sexes, I guess she's right.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:52 PM
3

So I suck at basic adult stuff including cooking, cleaning, organizing, scheduling appointments and all that. I put some effort into that in my mid-20's before I started dating, not really to be attractive to men, but because I wanted to be a somewhat functional adult before I subject some poor guy to it. Although I'm sure my husband now benefited from me working on that, I didn't feel like it helped attracting guys directly. What did help get male attention was playing video games and basically…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:39 PM
–

Wait, more black men voted for Harris than black women? Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:33 PM
–

I don't know what we should do in that situation to be honest. I can see it being unfair, but at the same time I feel bad for the trans people if they can't be included in any sports at all. But the thing is that it's such a small issue that effect such a small number of people it's ridiculous to have that as big of a deal politically as it is. Sometimes it's fine to say I don't know and let each sport league figure it out. Focusing on this is basically using culture war stuff to distract from p…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:28 PM
1

Obviously I would remain single rather than be with either of them, but if you force me to choose one, it will be the one that cheats. Because he would leave me alone and I can act like he doesn't exist and it will be just like I'm still single. It will be kind of like a marriage only in name because you forced this situation, but we're just roommates kinda thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 11:03 PM
1

I don't expect random strangers to protect me, especially if it risks their safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 10:57 PM
1

You can want to make someone happy without having your entire purpose to making their lives better. I found a hike / daytrip in my area that I know my coworker would really like given the stuff he talks about wanting to do, I did like half an hour of research and told him about it just so it'll make him happier. That doesn't mean now I dedicated my life to making him happy, just half an hour. Doing nice things for someone isn't an all or nothing thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 08:05 PM
2

Is that happening? That's so messed up. I didn't see any of this, but even if not mainstream I don't know how anyone is deprived enough to say things like that about a baby boy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 11:59 PM
1

I'm someone that is pretty successful and probably "have it all" by many people's definitions. But you're right in the sense that if I was a man, I would probably be even more successful. I was a good student, had a good career. But I slowed down a bit in my late 20's to get a family together. I still make a lot of money (~$400k/yr), but I would likely be making more if I continued as I was until I was 30-ish. There's pros and cons of each gender, and I always liked the pros/cons of men more tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 09:30 PM
–

I see what you're getting at. It's easy to be a good person when others are good to you. And it's normal to be assholes to others when others are always being assholes to you. But in terms of taxes, they are designed that the more you pay the less benefit you probably qualify for. At one point I paid almost 7 figures in taxes alone, yet I didn't get any covid relief checks, don't qualify for child tax credits or EV subsidies. It's like... is it that bad to just humor me with a couple thousand do…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 09:14 PM
5

Or even homeless shelters. I tried looking for a shelter for an acquaintance once, we couldn't find anything that was safe in the whole city because most of the shelters are either for children or women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 06:04 PM
-1

It's absolutely understandable. I think lots of women finds the default role of women in both dating and life undesirable, which is why modern women exists. When you don't like the default role of the gender you're born with, your life is a bit harder and it's normal to be a bit sad about it. The feminist movement did wonders for women in terms of opening up their life options. Women can more easily break free of the traditional "woman" default role. Feminism helped men a bit in terms of breakin…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 09:07 PM
5

A trad wife doesn't make money though. That's the tradition. You probably won't consider a guy that does 50% of the chores and child rearing a trad husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:23 PM
1

Oh, like safe as in "I don't think he'll ever leave me"? Yeah that's not really a good thing to look for. I meant safe as in a general sense of safety and stability around the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:53 PM
12

Yeah, after childbirth and other stressful situations. Sex is like a recreational fun activity, anytime when my day to day is in disarray, I tend to not be in the mood for play and therefore sex. Although many times my husband is good at creating a calming environment where I can relax temporarily, that plus being particularly sexy can turn me on even when I'm a bit stressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 09:45 PM
1

It was almost nothing and increased when I got into a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 07:47 PM
2

I get it intellectually but I can't actually empathize because I don't feel that way myself. I like being the safe option because I find safety attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 05:30 PM
3

Maybe it's because I had people tell me this about guys since forever, but I didn't think they were implying men are inherently liars. So I wouldn't take this being said about women as offensive since it just seems like the same advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 06:26 PM
3

Not really. I was told to watch people's actions and not words when it came to dating and networking. Many people's words do match their actions, and the advice still works in that scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 05:49 PM
38

I don't know how this makes anyone look bad. What what they do, not what they say is a general advice that is applicable for almost everything. Women are given this advice for men all the time. I was given this advice for networking and career. I do believe what people say, but their actions should match and they should take action on what they say relatively quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 07:27 PM
1

Obviously I would judge her for it. I can't stay friends with someone that has such different values from me. No one in my life ever had any affairs or flirted with taken people as far as I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 05:12 PM
2

I pretty much just want my husband to be another me. Obviously help with stuff that I biologically would struggle with like strength based things. But other than that we share roles and responsibilities based on what we're good at and what seems fair like with anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 08:30 PM
–

Definitely lots of sucky things about it. But if I spend all my time dwelling on sucky things in my life that I can't control I wouldn't be able to live my life. I am unlucky in some ways, but tremendously lucky in other ways. I focus and capitalize on that and live my best life given what I have to work with.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 05:49 AM
12

Absolutely, it sucks. I was so pissed during my teenage years when all the guys got bigger and stronger and all I got was my period. After over a decade I decided to get over it and focus on what I can change / I'm good at.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 07:28 PM
2

I have both a successful career and a mother / wife and enjoys both very much. But if I had to choose one I would choose a successful career. Both are challenging and interesting in their own ways, but my personality i better suited to the career path. At this moment, I wouldn't mind retiring and full time being mom. My son is adorable, makes me so happy and all I want is to play with him. I'm pretty excited about the idea of giving him a sibling too. But I would feel at peace with it because I …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 08:28 AM
12

Have a go bag, some money put aside, whatever. It's important you feel like you can leave an unsafe environment and not have money or material stuff get in the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 07:36 AM
–

I work with like 3 software engineers that look like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 04:53 PM
2

Stability and comfort. With the modern world, passion and excitement is very easy to get. The world is full of dopamine machines. I can just watch a movie or play a video game or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 04:50 PM
–

Policy often lags behind needs. Relatively it has only been a short time that women are doing better than men. On a political timeline people haven't had the time to digest this and act yet. Think about how long other disadvantaged groups had to deal with their issues until we had policy changes. Men being historically the strongest group will also make it harder to digest the fact they're disadvantaged now. But even now I can totally see affirmative action policies happening that will encourage…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 06:49 PM
–

Get more involved in education and create a curriculum that boys would do better in. Women get more involved in education (eg. PTAs and being teachers) so it's normal for women to design things that click better for women. If more men get involved, it would change how education works. I'm not a guy but was terrible at sitting still and learning in a traditional environment. One thing I really struggled with was spelling, I really didn't have the patience to learn any rules other than spell it ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 06:43 PM
–

Affirmative action helps quotas which helps those that are currently less well off. It only historically helped women before because women had less education and were less well off. If men were the one that had less education and had less formal qualifications, then something like a 50/50 quota would help men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 06:26 PM
–

I had random guys compliment my clothes like 5 times in my life and 4 of them I was wearing costume, cosplay, or a very obvious reference to something. In my experience most guys don't even notice what you wear if it's the realm of "kind of normal".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 10:52 PM
–

I don't love that quicky. I can't say I love you before being in a relationship for a pretty long while. Love for me takes familiarity, and I need to already be in a relationship with them and have seen many sides of them to connect in a way where I can love them. You find out if you love them through a relationship. I can like or develop feelings towards them, but love is a pretty high bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 09:35 AM
2

I think if you're talking or thinking about high value vs low value people you're already kinda disconnected with people. Most people in healthy relationships both platonic and romantic don't think like that, and thinking about whether you are high or low value to someone already seem off or give that needy energy you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 07:58 PM
7

That's fair, some of the stuff you mentioned can have some truth to it, but I think the problem is that most of the time they might be said to men in bad faith and to shut them up rather than be actually helpful. Although women are also met with a lot of similar advice or and pretty lies, but a lot of the lies are very obvious (eg. looks don't matter). I never felt mad at people telling me looks aren't important, I know they mean well, but I can see how looks obsessed everyone is so I didn't bli…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 07:16 PM
39

I don't expect random men to care for me, men that care for me usually do for personal reasons and not just because I'm a woman. But it's fair that there are many men that care about women's problems, and many strangers that are men try to be very considerate and helpful when it comes to some of my women-specific concerns. So let's help men, what can we do? I want to advocate for men and I think there are things that are unfair to men, but when in the menosphere, some men have told me that any e…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 08:10 PM
2

They could have just not cared about you much, they could be using another relationship to numb the sting of your break up. Either way you already broke up, the reason is irrelevant to you now, don't worry about it and move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 08:00 PM
–

You should vote based on your values, but I don't think the republicans really do much about illegal immigrants nor would the democrats do much to limit guns. Again policies aside, there are too many slimely conservatives with questionable morality that I wouldn't feel comfortable with them in charge. This is just what I think though, you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 08:41 PM
–

I wonder why. I'm liberal and is financially pretty well off. Technically conservative policies will be more financially beneficial for me. I hate Trump but his tax policies saved me a lot of money. If I was voting purely from a what will benefit me perspective I should be voting republican all the way. Even stuff like abortion bans is very unlikely to affect me. But I just can't respect the republican party right now. Liberals can overdo it sometimes and I would eye roll at them, but I feel lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 07:46 PM
0

I know 2 families where the man is the sole breadwinner and 1 family where the woman is. All 3 of them are really nice to the non income earning spouse. It doesn't make any sense to treat someone like shit just because you make more money than them. You shouldn't treat anyone like shit at all regardless. Sure, you can not date them if you would rather have someone that financially contribute. But if you chose to date them why treat them badly? It's like you're trying to use money to buy the righ…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 12:20 PM
1

If it does in a significant way then I wouldn't do it, but the times that I did talk to socially awkward people weren't bad. And I was socially awkward too, and I appreciated people talking to me and giving me a lot of grace on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 11:37 AM
2

Why wouldn't I want men to improve their social skills? And sure, they can practice and talk to me if they want. I'm socially awkward myself but improved a lot. And I find that people that are even more socially awkward than me like talking to me because the pace and energy I talk at matches them better and I'm less intimidating.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 07:29 AM
1

So, being hugged by your dad?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 09:24 AM
1

I feel like your definition of jealousy is that your gf / wife care at all if you like someone else (not indifferent to it). It's normal for someone to be concerned their partners might like or be romantically involved with anyone else. It's just not healthy to think normal interactions are signs of infidelity and dwell on it. I don't want my husband to be completely indifferent if I liked other guys either. But it's not something I think about in a relationship. I by default just assume he's no…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 12:45 AM
2

I'm not against it, I just don't think I need it yet. If it gets bad enough, I might carry one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 12:34 AM
20

Has to worry less about safety, and less risk to stuff like pregnancy and infections Has more time to figure things out, can take their time a bit more and don't have to worry as much about how starting a family impacts their career or other life plans as much. Can make more mistakes since they're not judged as much for sleeping around too much Most guys don't put as much effort into make up, clothes and stuff like that. Don't need to spend as much time getting ready. I don't put much effort int…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:34 PM
1

In my experience most people can't hide even the simplest things over time, talking about 10-20 years. Also, it's not like we're asking the men if they like it when their woman gets jelly, you simply see who they eventually end up with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:01 PM
2

Maybe it will shock me, but so far I haven't had anyone trying to sexually assault me, or anyone I know. Which is why right now I take very little precautions. So if I wanted to think about it that way, 0 x 3 = 0. But I do know it will be a significant uptick, which is why I would take what I think are pretty significant precautions. But not enough to have a gun, I don't expect it to be like a warzone.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 08:58 PM
2

No, a major city. Although suburb. I've always been in a safe environment, always assumed the best intent from everyone around me by default and people keep meeting my expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 04:08 AM
1

We protect ourselves based on our immediate surroundings. Obviously I would act different if I lived in a really bad neighborhood or something, but I'm answering from the assumption that it increases 300% based on my immediate environment. I would still be vigilant, but probably not to the point where I want to carry a gun. I'm the type of person that likes to solve problems by prevention rather than conflict.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 08:31 PM
1

You can get offended. I would too because you can't get around the fact they are doubting your fidelity. But they can still do it since it's their kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 05:14 PM
1

Fathers can already get a paternity test without the mother's consent. It's a bit different since it's the father's child too, the mother doesn't have the ultimate say on it once it's born. You don't have the same claim to a personal phone. If you want to have an open phone policy, then you can discuss that, but I don't think you should be able to stop a dad from getting a paternity test.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:53 PM
1

You see their actions over time. If they liked women that get jealous easily, they would gravitate towards them and end up with girlfriends or wives like that. Most people don't constantly pretend to be someone they're not. When you live with or are close friends with them for decades most people just can't always hide who they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:28 PM
6

Maybe? Depends on how bad it gets. My immediate environment is very safe so I already do very little to protect myself. I guess I will act more cautious first, like be more vigilant at night, be in groups more, etc. before buying a gun. That type of confrontation is a last resort.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 12:31 AM
3

That doesn't seem like a healthy mentality. I haven't been around many men like that. You should think people actually cares by default, because that's normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 10:56 PM
1

I think you're looking at too much tiktok content or something. Most girls aren't practically in any kind of sisterhood, we just have normal friends like anyone else. Most of the time we talk about homework, work, exams, or whatever the next immediate life milestone is. Sometimes that next milestone is dating or marriage, but not always. In real life no one cares who is a pick me or girl's girl (wtf does that even mean practically?).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 08:44 PM
10

Yes I would ask, it will hurt his feelings, but I would be dishonest to him and myself if I pretended I wasn't curious. I'm a person, and sometimes I have thoughts that are not always nice. I feel bad hurting his feelings, but these are honest thoughts I really have, and I will be transparent about it. Assuming the test can be done on me too I would obviously agree to do the test on myself to be fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 08:39 PM
1

I have no problem believing there's solidarity among men. Men show up for their friends just like women do. There's good friends and bad friends in any group. My husband, brother, and dad has great friend groups. They always have each other's backs, are fun to be around, and I love watching their dynamic. But for some reason, there are some particular things I see in my friend group that I don't see in their friend group. Like when I was single, I got sick and my friends came over and cooked, ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:42 PM
–

You're right that traditional dating expectations haven't caught up with societal progress. But it's normal to have social sentiments lag behind reality a bit. A lot of get dating advice and are taught what to expect from parents and media that's a generation or two behind. I make lots of money, and always felt empowered financially. I can support a whole family on my income alone. When I was younger, I never thought I needed a guy to make more money than me. But my parents and grandparents were…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:29 PM
–

What do you mean they should know better? I don't think dating people with less money correlates at all with sexual assault. If anything the opposite is true. The fact that you said they should know better kind of minimizes their plight and isn't looking at it from a place of empathy. I am criticizing you that at least at face value you appear to be very harsh rather than empathetic in your way of thinking. Doesn't mean you actually mean bad, maybe that's how you talk, but it sounds less empathe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 11:56 PM
–

I think it's pretty reasonable to get pretty traumatized when non-consensual touching start to happen regardless of who's doing it. Shouldn't you know more than someone like me how power and money doesn't mean you can impose your will on others or make it any more ok? This is the internet and dumb or misworded stuff is said all the time, but if you take what you said at face value, it's actually a very concerning thing you just said. Based on your philosophy, you should better relate to and be m…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 10:33 PM
–

I do have a lot of experience with well off people though. They are most of my peers and including myself. I think you're describing a very cartoonish version of people with money. The wealthiest people I know are the nicest, because it's actually really easy to be nice when your needs are met. Most well off people are surrounded by other well off people. Your peers cannot be bought off, you have to navigate friends, family, coworkers just like everyone else. But it's ok if you choose to not ass…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 07:18 PM
6

I get that lots of people that suffered won't want that to happen to others and try very hard to do that. But similarly, I think a lot of people that have had people be kind to them all their life and lived a very comfortable life are kind to others because they have received nothing but kindness from other people and they model what they see. I don't think people are bad because they have no money or had past traumas. But if they're bad I won't put myself in harm's way because they only did wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 10:11 AM
10

I understand that most people that do bad things do them because they went through hardships or life pushed them in that direction. I know babies aren't born resentful, apathetic or "bad". But if you're a person that might hurt me or be bad for me, it often doesn't matter why from a self preservation perspective. I can be sympathetic towards someone's plight but still stay away because I don't want to get hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 08:02 AM
12

I think it's realistic, because I see it a lot around me. I see break ups too, but just because it doesn't always happen or if it's not guaranteed, it doesn't make it unrealistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 10:52 PM
3

Honestly I don't know. I'm a person that has dealt with very little bad things in my life and by all logic I should be easily devastated by the smallest things. But if I live my life trying to protect myself from potentially bad situations that can devastate me, I can't do much in life at all. At some point you have to just take a chance of bad things happening, and trust and hope you'll be fine at the end of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 08:40 PM
3

He can be distraught that it's ending, but respect your decision to end it anyways. A respectful person places your decision above his feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 08:36 PM
–

Get a good husband and father of my children. I want to create a warm family, like the one my parents had / the one I grew up in.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 08:33 PM
1

This happened to me many times. I'm very slow in warming up and I won't have sex until we're in a pretty solid relationship. Many men date me, figure out I'm not what he's looking for, if they're nice they tell me, if they're less nice they ghost after either the first date or a few dates in. Sometimes I think "Oh that's a shame". But at the end of the day, there may be many reasons why he doesn't want to continue dating me and I don't try too hard to figure out why. All I know is that the relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 06:19 PM
39

There are unscrupulous people out there that will try to pressure you to doing stuff that is not best for you because they only care about their own gains. Don't try to change their mind or come to an understanding with people like that. When people show you they're that type of person, dissociate with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 06:32 PM
4

Everyone has different personalities, desires, and things that make them happy. As long as you give them the option to choose what they want that's all we're asking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 09:54 AM
0

I don't know if it has to do with being straight or not, but if you're a woman your friends are also women. You tend to like the group you're friends with. And for some reason women seem to have a connection with other women. I feel comfortable running up to any woman to ask for help, there seems to be an inherently "I got you" thing with other women. Other women are also very in-tuned with me emotionally, like if I had emotional turmoil, they feel like a warm and safe place. This is on top of m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 05:51 PM
5

I actually don't know exactly what circumcision does. As a woman I don't think my opinion on this matters at all, it's not being done to my body and I don't even have the body part that it's being done to. I'll listen to whatever men tells me is right on this topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 05:18 PM
–

If they're hateful then they can be called out on their hatefulness separately from it being an echo chamber. But 2X market themselves as a support group, so I'm fine with it being an echo chamber.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 05:14 PM
–

I don’t think 2X is actually giving many women support. To paraphrase what I said in a previous comment, I don’t believe shit-talking, dragging men through the mud, and mere validation constitutes “support.” Honestly I don't read enough 2X to know if they're hateful or not. I also don't consider myself traumatized enough to really understand what everyone's been through and needs. The few I read when it made it to r/all seemed emotionally charged but not hateful. Like when your friend is hurt an…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 05:12 PM
3

I mean... yes. Any ideology that cannot challenge itself will have flaws and will be unable to adapt. However, there's a few things about echo chambers such as 2X and other support groups to note. People only have so much processing capabilities, very few people have the time or energy to process every ideology or state of the planet (especially when they have a stressful or hectic life at the moment). One of the benefits of being human is that we can communicate and pass down knowledge. And pra…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:55 PM
–

That's the kind of thing I do naturally. Naturally I would ask similar questions or behave similarly on each date, and make changes or improvements if I see a clear pattern of either positive or negative results. It sounds weird when you say it out loud like this, but that's how I naturally got better at dating. At one point I had a spreadsheet until I realized I didn't need it, I can analyze all this in my head just fine. I appreciate you fellow weirdo :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:29 PM
–

That's cool, I want a monkey.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:24 PM
–

Isn't this just marketing from diamond companies?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 04:54 PM
22

I know more hot women that have terrible personalities with guys crawling all over them than the other way around. Hot people will always find people that want to try something with them, but in my experience women are at least wary of the possibility of abuse while I have seen very smart and otherwise respectable men putting up with much worse behavior from hot women. Like throwing a knife at them level of messed up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:43 AM
4

No it's not... how many toxic people do you know? There's not enough toxic people for everyone to have a toxic ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:35 AM
19

Women's intuition is just like men's intuition. Some people have good intuition and some people aren't so good at it. Some people are good at manipulating and some people are bad at it. I have been pretty good at judging people and is pretty confident in my intuition. But maybe one day I'll meet someone that's better at manipulating than I am at judging them. You can hide your inner desperation, misogyny, and whatnot, and some people may not be able to see though it, but others will. Like I can …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:34 AM
3

Do the vast majority of women do that? Most women around me have been married for years and almost no one had a toxic ex, exes that didn't work out yes, but not toxic. I have only heard men are terrible retoric online.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:27 AM
1

Who is saying the man is obligated to stay around after he finds out the child isn't his?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 12:26 PM
–

I don't know any man that would forgive cheating. I wouldn't forgive it so I wouldn't understand why men would either. Either way I don't think they should. Also just because someone would forgive you for cheating doesn't mean you should do it. Just because they're desperate doesn't mean you should abuse that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 11:37 AM
–

It took me like a month of daily practice in Mario Kart 8 to get better than my husband that played since he was in high school. I didn't even know about drifting before this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:25 PM
0

Guys are not a mystery, I grew up surrounded by them. I've seen them grow up, spent almost everyday with some of them, half my family are guys. I've seen how they act and their attitudes towards sex. Guys are just people, not sex crazy fanatics, and have standards for that just like anything else. Do you not also feel confident about how well you know the women you are surrounded by and grew up with?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:41 PM
–

Healthy people don't randomly leave someone for no reason. It could happen, but in normal circumstances it's not common enough to worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 07:01 AM
0

Yes, many guys around me would not just sleep with anyone. You might not, but some (many guys in my social circle) guys have standards even for casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 06:59 AM
1

I never said that. Obviously looks plays a big part, just for guys there are more things that can make up for it compared to the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 01:57 AM
1

Many guys I know are pretty picky. They're pretty desirable though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 01:53 AM
2

That's just you not caring about the quality of women you sleep with, which gives me some perspective on your original post. Most people are more discerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 06:39 AM
23

So if a group of women constantly complain on the internet about how terrible dating is, would you think they are less or more attractive than the group of women that aren't complaining? Obviously you can be attractive and still have dating problems, but it's common sense that on average the people that have the most problems dating will be less attractive. And most men I know are great people. No one ever lied to me to get sex. I have always trusted men and none of them betrayed that trust. I d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 07:36 PM
0

We're talking about why society shames men and women for certain actions. That means how many people it's affected, how long it's been happening, and how serious it was are all factors. Basically yes you are hurting now, but it hasn't been happening long enough and to enough people for your stories to reach many people and to have it settle in everyone's minds. Stories take time to pass on. And the stories are not as impactful. Most of the world is run on a meritocracy. Not getting a girlfriend,…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 06:26 PM
-1

We do see that recently there are some groups of men that try to shame women for not dating short etc. men. But this wound like you said isn't historical, it's a recent thing and isn't as significant as the women's trauma I've mentioned before. Men's concerns aren't nothing, but it just doesn't have the historical significance or the potency of the trauma women had. It's very similar to why oppressed races or other minority groups are also more sensitive to certain criticisms or how you talk abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 05:10 PM
2

People are more likely to help you and be nice to other nice people. So it's beneficial for others to think you're nice. Just telling people you're nice after doing something mean is an ineffective way to convince most people of that though.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 05:07 AM
3

Yeah, it makes sense for my parents to have beliefs that is relevant to their time. They have lots of outdated beliefs about various cultures like Muslims and Indians being kinda traditional too. All young Koreans, Muslims, and Indian guys I know are pretty progressive and kind as far as I know. My parents know that but still don't want me to take a chance, especially with in laws and their expectations. It's just their advice, they don't force me to not date anyone. The point is South Korea in …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 04:23 AM
8

Well my parents know the culture better and not from k dramas. Edit: Also my parents did say the men there will probably treat you like an absolute princess before marriage and you'll feel great, but after marriage is when a ton of expectations will be dropped on you. I'm not sure if any of this is true, just what my parents told me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 04:01 AM
29

Yeah, my parents explicitly told me they don't want me to marry south korean men because they think they are too traditional and they will expect me to do a lot of housewife stuff. They're the least feminist country of the major east asian countries IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 01:50 AM
3

I think it has to do with the fact that a lot of men's standards were historical traumas. Women had or heard stories of extreme oppression and unfairness when it comes to stuff like sexual liberty / purity, extreme beauty standards, child brides etc. For example, I don't think women are as offended someone were to say "my standard is a woman with a phd" even though many women does not have a phd. It goes against historical narratives of oppression and salt doesn't hurt when there's no wound.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 01:46 AM
1

Yeah, some escorts definitely can choose to only accept clients she's attracted to, either because she is not desperate, is high in demand, or just love men and sex so much that it is easy for her to be attracted to her clients. But obviously the woman we're talking about isn't enjoying it but only doing it because she's desperate.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 10:20 AM
1

Or just spend it, give it to charity, create an endowment scholarship or something, give it to friends? Once you're dead you won't worry about it anyways, this is a just in case. Hopefully it's not something that will be relevant any time soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 08:41 AM
1

You don't have to be gay to sleep with a guy for money right? Like I don't think you have to be lesbian as a woman to sleep with a woman for money. Your sexuality just dictates who you're attracted to, but that doesn't matter in sex work since you're not expected to be attracted to your client anyways. You don't have to turn gay, you just have to be ok with having a bad time. Which is why you're getting paid.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 07:32 AM
1

I'm not an expert, but I would just leave it to my favorite people, whoever they are. Maybe to your siblings so they can manage it for their kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 07:28 AM
0

But isn't the whole point of sex work "I'm not attracted to you so therefore you pay me to sleep with you?" I feel like if a lesbian paid a straight female sex worker, she will most likely take the money and have sex with her like any other client.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 07:11 AM
0

You don't have to leave it to young kids especially if they're not your kids. What about your parents? For my children we have a trust that will go to them when they're 21, managed by grandparents until they do. You can't control if they will be good people after you pass, just trust they will be I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 05:38 AM
0

You can choose to not date overly emotional women, and I can choose to not date overly sexual men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 06:56 AM
5

Online dating honestly. I am too shy to approach anyone in real life and also too dense to understand signals any more subtle than "I like you, can we go on a date". But online dating lets me directly tell a guy I'm interested and know a guy is interested in me without any ambiguity. It sucks for guys that the gender ratios are bad for them on there though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 04:25 AM
15

I have the same philosophy for trying to persuade someone to get married as I do for trying to persuade someone to have children. If you don't want it and don't see a personal benefit to it, absolutely do not do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 03:11 AM
7

I mean if a woman thinks the way you did / described about sex, I doubt she'll have a problem with a guy paying for sex and doesn't need you to convince her. People are either compatible or not, and that depends on the people involved and you can't say one thing is objectively right.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 01:40 AM
–

It's pretty obvious. People tend to help women when they cry, compared to men who are less likely to get help and more likely to get shamed for it. I was kind of stoic and didn't like to cry as a child, my parents always praised me when I was brave so I was proud of myself when I don't cry even in tough situations. But then adults around me kept telling me I should cry more, because girls that cry more get more help and attention. I still don't like to cry because it feels weird, but I started b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:56 PM
–

Why bother cheating? Stay single and you can have casual sex all you want without even having to do things to make a gf happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 05:27 PM
1

Why would it be different between a bear with a human gay man brain and a large gay man if they can both do the same damage to you? It's because you think there is a difference it makes me think you're not actually that scared of a bigger man. I don't know how well a man can defend himself against someone 5 inches taller and 30 pounds heavier, but some part of you have to think you have somewhat of a chance against the bigger man compared to a bear. For a woman, often we think we have zero chanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 01:47 AM
–

No, I don't know where everyone is finding all these super undesirable men. Lots of decent guys out there. I've never felt the needle in a haystack thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 01:01 AM
3

I don't know. I think some answer bear just to ruffle feathers, while others genuinely had bad experiences with men. My interpretation of the question was always you're in a forest alone with a bear, not 20 feet away. In that case it's most likely the best will leave you alone or not be interested in you at all. A man, if he wants to hurt you, is more dangerous than a random bear (assuming not hungry or defending cubs). So the question really is how likely do you think a random man would want to…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 10:41 PM
2

You can ask women to help solve your problems, but it doesn't make sense to rely on the feminist group to do the organizing for you and lead the charge. Feminists went to men with a problem, told them why it's bad, and what they can do to help. You can ask for help, but you still need to ask and do the initial work and planning. Men can organize and present a list of problems, why women should help and what we can do. Men do have some groups that are trying. I actually really liked the MRAs when…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 12:54 AM
1

I don't like men with a lot of sexual history because I don't myself. I like dating people I can relate to and think of sex similarly as me. I totally could get why someone with less sexual experience would feel incompatible with someone that has more experience. What I don't like is when men insult or belittle women with more sexual experience. I wouldn't date someone that slept around a lot, but I don't think of him as less of a person nor would I insult him. I'm not going to have problems wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:42 PM
1

No one is forcing you to date women or do any of that. If all you want is sex and don't want to bother with everything else about women, then hiring an escort is the easiest way to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:33 PM
-1

Then don't play them. There's a lot more games that appeal to men, stop playing things that aren't trying to appeal to you then complaining about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:29 PM
1

If you think I have nothing to offer that's your right to think so, and you don't have to date me. It's up to each individual man that meets me to decide that. Also what's wap?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 12:55 AM
3

I want a guy, but I have no control over whether he likes me or not. It's up to me to be me, and up to him if he likes me. I'm not sure what you mean by accountability. I only have to be accountable to myself, I wouldn't fault any guy for not liking me, I don't want to force any guy to like me if he doesn't. I don't know who you define as Chad, but I'm happy with the people I do attract, so I don't really care about some random undefined guy you call Chad. Fuck "liking". Why should any man you w…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 11:50 PM
9

I don't concern myself with why any guy likes me. That's for the guy to figure out himself. Whether someone likes me is not up to me, so I don't worry about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 11:11 PM
1

I'm in tech, and almost all of my coworkers are making around same as me, so to me it doesn't' feel that rare. Do you work for yourself or have coworkers? You don't have female coworkers that makes around the same as you? Although in tech specifically there are a lot more men than women so it will be harder for a guy to find a woman that makes similar to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 02:12 AM
1

My standards will definitely be a deal breaker for some people. That's normal, not everyone will like you or can accept your standards. Although I wouldn't leave my husband if he have a professional misfortune, since he's my husband and family. We are considering early retirement so we might both quit in a few years anyways. These standards are for initial dating, which at that point they're strangers, not for people I already love and care for. I'm not gonna leave my husband if he can't work an…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 04:46 AM
2

To me $300k and $400k is very similar to each other and in the same realm of earning potential especially if your compensation has a large equity component. It sucks to struggle with dating, I work with and are friends with lots tech guys that make very similar money to me and fits the above criteria too, some of them do well and some struggle depending on luck and other factors like sociability. Sorry about your last girlfriend's family. But at least it makes you appreciate your own parents / f…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 04:02 AM
2

Software engineer
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 12:59 PM
4

My standards probably filter out a lot of people, but it's rather reasonable for me since men like this is common around me. I date a lot based on how I feel about the person, but the big checkmarks are: Make around the same or more than me (I make around $400k). I'm looking for someone with similar earning potential rather than just a straight up total comp, since even my own TC of $400k varies wildly depending on the stocks of the company I work for. 5'8 or taller, I'm actually flexible here s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 08:13 AM
1

When I was actively dating yes. When in a relationship, married, or when I was single and not dating, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:32 AM
–

I agree, as a society we don't spoil kids enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 09:05 PM
–

Good for that guy
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 11:11 PM
1

Well I only have 1 brother so he's the closest comparison I've got. We're pretty similar in many ways when it comes to personality, mannerisms and hobbies. He's a nerdy introvert like me, which is not a bad thing in our social circle. Most of my friends are nerdy introverts and I married one myself. We used to compete on who memorized more digits of pi and stuff like that. We're both very high earning people, which benefit men more than women. Both of us makes well into 6 figures and has million…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 02:15 PM
–

Board game cafes are like 50% women
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 05:22 AM
–

That's my cousin. She doesn't disclose it, but she's not actually that interested in dating so a lot of her dates are people her mom or other relatives introduced so they know.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 12:41 AM
7

I'm sure it'll be different. But if I was a guy I would date differently. All the habits and mannerisms I've picked up until now are things that work best for women. If I grew up as a man, I would pick up different mannerisms and dating skills. I'm not sure what I would be like as a guy, but my brother is the closest to me in terms of genetics and upbringing, so he's the best proxy I've got.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 03:17 AM
7

If my brother is a realistic representation of myself as a guy, then I'll do pretty well. He was always more popular than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 11:52 PM
3

I mean I would rather be emotionally vulnerable with a tree than an random person too. It's not sexist. Why would I want to be emotionally vulnerable with a random person?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 06:21 PM
–

No
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 11:58 PM
–

Define ultimatum. I don't know if that's different than enforcing deal breakers. Is if you cheat I will leave an ultimatum?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 11:56 PM
–

That's what interviews are for. I'm sure if most hiring manager were to choose between a random person on the street and a dog to do a job that needs a specific skill and has any notable consequences of failure, they would choose a dog too. Skill aside, dogs won't steal compared to an unverified employee. This isn't some special revelation. If this is a bear or man comparison, the women were asked between a random guy or a bear. Not someone they know or can interview/ verify and a bear. I would …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 11:54 PM
–

I mean if a dog can do the job, then hire a dog.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 09:43 PM
28

We are definitely more protective of girls than boys when it comes to dating in general. In the past abuse towards men were not talked about enough. Hopefully next generation will be more informed and do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 09:14 PM
–

Yeah I agree my mom is a very good mom and set me up on a good path in life. It almost definitely helped my relationships since I go to her for relationship advice all the time. I was a super late bloomer but once I got into a relationship it has been pretty smooth.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 08:12 AM
6

And that's the goal of waiting, or not waiting. So we find out sexual incompatibility so both people can move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 08:06 AM
5

Depends what you mean treated like an adult. As we age we gradually get more responsibility and trust and it's hard to know when that becomes an adult. I kinda always felt respected in terms of my own wants and autonomy to the extent I wanted it at any age. She took my words and thoughts very seriously even as a small child even when they're objectively ridiculous. On the other hand, my mom still babies me in many other situations today. Like making me food, handling errands, going to doctor's a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 09:53 PM
–

If you can make it happen go for it. I just hope you will be an attentive dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 09:34 PM
–

It's harder to be the CEO of multinational than be a hot girl. And that's why you can still get a hot girl without being the CEO of a multinational company.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 09:15 PM
2

Depends what it is and if it involves other people's private matters that you're also sharing without permission. Some people might violate other people's privacy and others won't, but as a group if others respond well to your complaints or call for help well, you will overall be more incentivized to do it compared to if you get shut down or ignored when you complain.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 07:23 PM
35

Women are socialized to be more open because we tend to get more help when we share vulnerability. It's the same reason women feel more ok with crying. My personality isn't actually one where I like to share weakness or private matters. But whenever I do it's usually a positive experience since people either try to help or make me feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 03:16 PM
6

My grandparents love each other a lot with lots of passion and I think they're truly happy and would marry each other again. My parents admitted they don't have much in common other than kids. They probably wouldn't have gotten married in today's environment. They married out of logic and matched well on paper, and never put much thought into personality. But they're both good people and treat the other well, and just kinda going with the flow.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 07:08 PM
28

If it helps someone then I think it's good. The people that like AI can be with AI, the people that prefer other people can stick with real people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 02:36 AM
–

That's ok, I'm just tossing info out there. You can do what you want with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 08:44 PM
–

I grew up with people around me identifying as feminists. The topic of dating never came up. It's not an issue most mainstream feminists cares about. The most dating related thing that was said was saying you don't have to marry a man or be in a relationship if you don't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 07:57 PM
2

Imagine you're with a gorilla. It has shown no signs of aggression and was always a friendly gorilla. You probably still don't want to do anything that can provoke it (like messing with its food, interrupting a mating opportunity etc.) based on how it can possibly do if it gets upset. This is an extreme example since we hope humans act less on instinct than gorillas, but it's a example that can hopefully help you imagine why someone would take precautions around something that is much stronger t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 01:11 AM
8

Yes he is
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 05:14 PM
1

Men have to either throw money at stuff or watch a youtube video and do hard work too. Having more strength makes it easier, but it's still hard work sometimes. People sometimes have to do hard work, it's a part of life. Definitely if you can find a partner that likes this stuff, let him help you. But marrying someone is merging everything about your lives together and a big deal, you shouldn't do it just because you don't want to change a tire once in a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 07:28 AM
6

We're also redditors, which tends to hate on other social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 09:52 AM
–

Very difficult moral dilemma here. I hate war and conscription in general, and I would flee the country and try to get any male relatives to flee too. From an individual perspective, it's such a silly thing to die for. But in Ukraine's situation, if everyone does that then they don't have a country. I do think if they're going to draft men they should draft women too. The army needs as much help as it needs, there are lots of non-combat and less strength based roles that women can do if the mili…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 09:50 AM
1

They won't be. They will whine about misogyny, racism, islamophobia etc if the same generalization is done to any other demographics because of some tragic experience. I'm not sure how you would know that. The question that was asked was a simple one and so was the answer, but I feel like you're reading into it and adding a lot of your own thoughts and emotions to it. Your help wouldn't be needed. The day they try is the day they lose whatever rights they have. Women only have rights because men…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 09:40 AM
–

I thought attachment issues can be worked on and fixed?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:43 AM
1

40 year old. Probably more survival experience or at least life experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:41 AM
3

No, I was single / virgin until I was 28. Obviously no one at work knew if my sexual history, but they did know I was single. I don't think I was treated any different.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:38 AM
10

There's this great thing call money you can earn by doing stuff you know how to do, and spend it to procure services for things you don't know how to do. Or just watch a youtube video.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:37 AM
1

if they have had some tragic experience, it's understandable. My only question is if they would be okay with similar generalizations by men or any other group based on some tragic experience. A man got divorce raped and he starts to think the same of all women? A man was a victim of paternity fraud and he starts to think all women are like that? A white guy had a bad experience with a black person and starts to think all black people are like that. From an individual perspective, I'm ok with all…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:31 AM
2

Yes I would. If someone had been hurt by a certain race over and over again it makes sense they wouldn't want to be with someone of that race, and it's kinda cruel forcing them to do so. We're not letting that person legislate anything against that race, but he can choose who to hang out with. This is also applicable to men towards women. If a man has been hurt by women all his life, it would be really cruel to force him to make female friends or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 04:10 PM
2

Bears are stronger than men but most will be uninterested in you compared to man. I would choose the man because I think most men are good, but I see where people are coming from. Each woman's answer to this probably depends on how safe they think the average man is which can differ wildly based on life experience. Unfortunately I've spoken to women that had such tragic experiences with men that she might think men are women's natural predators, while bears are not despite being stronger. At the…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 03:52 PM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 06:19 PM
-1

If it's a random person and the island is generally safe, then woman. Unless the island has other dangerous creatures that a man would have a better chance of fighting off.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 08:02 AM
–

I would need a seat or something but otherwise it's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 07:53 PM
–

If you're above average financially, then you can aim to marry above average financially. When I dated I looked for above average in a lot of things, but it was reasonable because I was also above average either in the same stuff or somewhere else that is similarly valuable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 06:24 PM
23

I think younger people are more used to the dating app formula. Kind of like how younger people doesn't like calling someone compared to older people. The preferred and familiar method of communication is just different. I dislike ambiguity in communication. Dating apps make your intentions very clear and you have to show mutual interest before even speaking with each other. You can't misread signals. Honestly I like the coldness and matter of fact nature of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 06:18 AM
2

I think it's fine if it's an emergency, but not because the women's line is too long.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 06:34 PM
6

Everyone is different. I actually have a very low sex drive. It doesn't make me look good at all, since lots of guys wouldn't like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 09:54 PM
–

Makes sense for those that are looking for a relationship. I don't know anyone that would be upset about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 06:03 AM
–

Other women always had by back growing up so naturally I want to support other women too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 03:22 AM
–

I disagree with your premise but I think your conclusions are fine. I would be incompatible with you, but if you operate the way you say you will, I will find out quickly and won't waste much time. I appreciate that. Maybe I have been around good people all my life, but I don't mind using a bit of my time and resources on someone even if it doesn't work out. Every action you do takes some time and resources, and we risk time and resources on almost everything we do. I spent thousands of hours do…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 02:23 AM
–

Honestly OP's expectations are pretty transparent or will become clear pretty quickly. I'm someone that wouldn't be compatible with him, but if he acts the way he says he does, then I will find out very early on and I appreciate that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 02:15 AM
6

It was for me at least. I liked a guy, too scared to let him know so nothing happened. I knew that wasn't ideal, but we're only human.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 06:05 PM
5

Women can be self conscious too and scared to show interest. I agree that if you like someone, actively showing interest in them gives you the best chance of getting with them. But we don't always do the ideal thing because of nerves.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 05:33 PM
15

They're actually choosing to not get married again. It's actually pretty logical and many women my parents' age will tell you they won't marry again if their relationship ends even if they are in very good relationships right now. In old age women don't benefit as much from men. Men are important when you are child bearing age because of the benefits of having a father, additional resources, and general life stability. As you get around your 50's, the need for that stability decreases. In additi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 02:14 AM
15

Well it's true that regardless of other men, I wouldn't get into a relationship that doesn't make me happier than if I was single. That being said, as long as you're not actively toxic or very demanding, it's kinda easy to be a net plus to someone else's life. It's kinda expected that having another grown person around will make most things in life easier. So I practice most competition will come from other guys. I was happily single and independent. Now I'm happily in a relationship and we have…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 09:12 PM
2

I think I have a low sex drive. I rarely feel any lust towards strangers, and masturbates infrequently. I was cool with never having sex at all until I met my husband and wasn't sure if I was asexual. Think of it as your sex drive being very "sleepy", and takes a lot to wake up. But for one person like my husband, it already woke up and is very familiar, so it activates much easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 06:32 AM
–

There's always some sadness about leaving a stage of life behind and getting closer to death I guess. But there's some excitement about the next stage of life and having fond memories of a life (or stages of life) well lived if you did live well. A lot of people also don't think about actually dying from old age until it's quite close, so that fear is dulled for much of their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 09:27 PM
–

23?! People keep fit around me well into their 30's at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 09:18 PM
–

We moved in early, like 2 months. You save some money in rent + combined expenses. And you can always move out if you break up.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 09:12 PM
8

Well I have a pretty cushy job, but I am still monitored and have performance evaluations and stuff. And it's pretty easy for me. Do you all have such shitty managers that just doing your job that you've been trained and qualified to do is that terrible? I am literally on mat leave right now. My husband is on pat leave too so it's two people looking after 1 baby and work is still so much easier. You go to work, do stuff for not even 8 hours cuz like you said sometimes you have to pretend to be b…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 05:29 AM
10

This is different depending on how tough your work is. But a guy with a basic 9-5 desk job often has an easier job than a stay at home mom. My friend that makes 6 figures with 2 kids and a stay at home wife told us that although he doesn't think a stay at home mom is the hardest job like some people claim, it's sure as hell harder than his job. I make more than him and my job is also definitely easier than a stay at home mom. Obviously if the guy is working 12 hours a day at a demanding job, pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 04:06 AM
0

Sounds like looking for a new job is the right move here. People job hop all the time for higher pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 07:46 AM
2

This completely depends on the personality of the one being proposed to.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 12:39 AM
2

Yes, I could ask for more but it would be very nitpicky.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 11:13 PM
3

Abortion is a medical procedure and be available to patients like any other medical procedure. Snowboarding isn't a need, but we don't ban doctors from mend broken bones if I get into an accident.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:52 PM
1

No, it would feel gross. Given how my dad raised me, he would understand why I wouldn't go.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:34 AM
32

And any men that cares more for the woman than the man. Like male family members such as dad, granddad, uncles etc. Feminist women that are not my friends and family didn't care who I dated at all. The people that told me to stay away from older men were older family members, both male and female.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 10:19 PM
2

I'm someone that depend heavily on my extended family and my parents also raised me and my brother with the help of our extended family. I'm also someone that's spoken out against the nuclear family and didn't think it's enough. I'm very comfortable with my parents and in-laws all up in our business including living with us, because they are respectful people and don't cross lines and boundaries. My own sense of boundaries are also less rigid when it comes to advice from family members. No matte…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 06:04 AM
4

Or just daycare. I would literally have another child right now if they gave us free daycare.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 03:33 PM
20

It's good to not have guys universally need you. Having a partner you really like is great, not so great if a bunch of people that are strangers suddenly need you to be with them. Relationships should be fun, calm, and not created under duress. You can't have that if one or both parties desperately NEED the other person.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 03:28 PM
–

Around $350k on my W2 last year. My total comp largely depends on how my company's stocks are doing. My comp actually has been going down, I used to make a lot more when tech stocks were booming. I'm a software engineer.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 04:57 AM
19

I haven't heard any woman say or imply she would prefer if he man likes her less than she likes him. Since I was mid-teens I have heard from women around me constantly how she wants the guy to like her more because of random reasons similar to what you're saying here, like how a guy like to chase and pursue so if he likes her more he'll be able to happily chase or women likes romance more blah blah. I never bought that either and similarly, I haven't heard any man say he would prefer it if he li…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 12:53 AM
2

Yeah I feel very safe all the time. My whole life I never felt unsafe. I look at the world and it seems just fine, no one ever tried to attack me or make me feel unsafe. I don't know where you live, but I don't think I wanna live there based off of how you make it sound. But I'll live my peaceful life with my husband and this way there will be more tough guys for you and friends, everyone wins!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 08:26 PM
3

I feel like my husband will probably hide behind me by instinct if a fighting situation comes up before he remembers he's stronger than me. He's a very gentle and soft person. He optimized his build for the modern/civilization biome so didn't put much points into combat.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 08:17 AM
17

By definition, most people are not going to be in a town of 10,000. If everyone moved to a lower cost of living area, that area will now be high cost of living. It's not a viable solution for everyone. Plus people won't want to move away from friends and family, which is also important before having kids since kids need such a community to thrive and it was something families with kids had in the past. The cost of living is actually too high, this is happening in many countries. The cost of basi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 03:23 AM
2

I don't think I can think of a single guy that haven't left me alone after I rejected them. I don't know where all these men are that would stay around even when you made it clear you're not interested, if you have self respect, you wouldn't do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 03:08 AM
13

I think respect is important, but in this case you and her might see respect differently, probably based off of your different personalities. I don't tend to have a good time with strangers. I enjoy myself most when I'm around familiar people. When I date, the goal is find a boyfriend. If I know if it's not going to work out, unless I truly want to be friends with you, then I feel like it's best to just not waste both of our time. To me, it's probably more enjoyable to end a date early and go ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 10:13 PM
1

Yamcha. He is already a ridiculously strong fighter that can pretty much do everything you need a strong man to do and nicer. Vegeta is the best developed character, and is interesting to watch, but he's at his core rather pathetic. He tries so hard, puts himself through so much, and still gets overpowered by people who barely tries. I also can never stand his character, because he's so smug but gets beat up every time. Yamcha isn't even trying to play the game, but Vegeta is and loses all the t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 11:17 PM
1

Yes he is handsome. But I don't think I can date someone that looked too much like my brother, it would weird me out too much. The brother likeness would overpower any physical attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 04:19 AM
4

You should only marry someone if they happen to be extraordinarily beneficial to you, and you anticipate the marriage will be beneficial to you. If you don't feel that way about a woman, don't marry her out of pressure. I don't think a lot of women would want you to marry them if you don't actually want to or is lukewarm about it. Marriage is a legal union or merger. Much like two companies, a legal merger only make sense if you both feel like you will benefit. Just because two companies do busi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 01:36 PM
1

My husband can outshine me all he wants. As long as I'm happy with my level of achievement compared to where I want to be, him doing better is just aspirational. I don't tend to worry about if people like me. I kinda assume they do, otherwise they wouldn't be with me. Having options isn't a bad thing, it makes it so I know he's not dating me out of desperation. He had plenty of options before we started dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 07:48 AM
1

Some guys genuinely wants kids and love raising them. Obviously they would like the help of a mother, but if they can't get it they'll still do fine. My dad is like that and so are my uncles and I think my brother has that type of personality as well. I don't even think these guys are the minority. They are just less likely to be super vocal online about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 11:40 PM
–

My dad is very good at connecting with kids since he likes playing and is more comfortable and happier playing with the kids than talking with the adults. He's good at things like taking a group of 5 kids on urban adventures, often climbing over fences and walls (cliffs) and probably a good amount of trespassing. He's like a kid but has the competency and knowledge / access of an adult. It's really nice. Sometimes he overlooks things and is a bit irresponsible for his age or role as the group's …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 04:59 PM
3

Of course it's an offense since there's an implied accusation of cheating. No matter how small the probability, it has to be some doubt from the guy if he's asking for a paternity test, and you can't help feeling bad about that. But if you want to confirm paternity, there's no way around it. If it was me and I had doubts, it wouldn't stop me from getting a test. It might offend my partner, but it can't be helped, if I legitimately did have doubts, then the offense is real and I can't pretend it'…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:54 PM
1

First of all, PPD is the first place where I heard men saying women lost respect for them after they become vulnerable. I have a feeling that we need to define being vulnerable. A mentally healthy person not bottling up emotions, and communicating how they're feeling is different from someone releasing all their mental distress to you. Most people are not equipped to deal with or support someone with depression, or serious anxiety or mental distress. Second, I don't think we should force men to …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:48 PM
1

All my boxes are ticked now. But in my 20's I was lagging behind my peers a lot in relationships. I was behind so many steps. Like I haven't held hands with a guy and my friends have already dated for more than a decade and is married and having kids kinda situation. But the moment it happens, all these milestones fall into place like I was never that behind. All the stuff that seemed so far away just happens like it's no big deal. The interesting thing is that a lot of my friends had all the ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:31 PM
–

It's not hard at all for a doctor to be a multi millionaire. Although it's easier than ever to be a millionaire so the status might not be as impressive as it was before.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 04:49 AM
–

I read the text exchange and found nothing wrong with it personally. I would take what he says at face value, which is that he wasn't ready to jump into dating that fast and took a break from dating. Unless there's something previous that makes me think he's untrustworthy, I would take it at face value. This is just me though, I think highly of people and think they're more likely to be honest than dishonest. And if he is dishonest and inconsistent, I think that will become clear when I get to k…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:00 AM
–

I see. I get that it can just be a lifestyle incompatibility. Given my personality and that of my friends, it's hard to imagine not being attracted to ambition, but it makes sense that some people might find it too much when all they want to do is chill with someone. Obviously I like certain things more than others and prefer my partner to be ambitious about similar things as I am, but I still respect ambition in most areas even if I find them boring or unrelatable / meaningless. There are many …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:48 AM
1

I know. There are many positive traits that a person can have, and that we want in a partner. Ambition, money, kindness, free time to spend with you, are all things that we would like in a partner. If you can get them all, some stuff may have to be sacrificed. Doesn't take away from the fact that this is a positive thing I feel like most people should like in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 01:47 PM
2

That's true. Ambition is just one of many positive traits that people may have and is good in a partner, and it can be sacrificed for other things that means more to you if you can't get both. It's still a positive trait that I feel like most people should be happy to see in a partner, all else being equal though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 01:44 PM
1

I feel like everyone should be attracted to ambition. I think women being attracted to ambition is common sense and is what a normal person should gravitate towards, what I find odd is why men don't care as much. Even with friends, we gravitate towards those with more ambition, they inspire you and are cool people, you want to be close to them. If you see a person that invented many things, founder of a successful start up, or one of the top people in their field, don't you want to get to know t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 10:17 PM
–

In my experience dads are more likely to spoil daughters.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 09:51 PM
–

I saw on the news that one of my classmates in middle school got charged with murder. It was very surprising. I didn't talk to him much, he was more of a jock and I was nerdy, but the few times we interacted he was very nice and even stopped some girls from bullying me one time. Strange how people's lives turn out.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 11:15 PM
–

I loved sleep overs when I was a kid, had great memories of them and it would feel weird to deny my kids of that. Context matters I guess, if I don't trust the parents or feel like it might be unsafe then I'll act accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 11:10 PM
–

I'm in my 30's so I don't know what's going on with younger people, but having a social circle seems like something that happens naturally as you go through school and life. Even for very niche groups, the weirdos band together kinda thing. What changed? We had social media in high school too and it felt like it just helped with keeping in touch. It caused some insecurities and competitiveness in people but didn't affect friendships. Having friends is very standard in my experience, even for a v…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 05:35 AM
–

Spending lots of money isn't fun if you don't like what you're spending it on. Travel isn't for everyone but generally pretty fun, would you say no to a trip if it's free?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:52 PM
20

This is common sense though, and most people will judge you on who you are now. That's why people try so so hard to make sure their kids have the best start in life, because we all know the world isn't going to control for upbringing and environmental factors when evaluating your kid. When I interview, I know my employer doesn't care if my parents were smart, educated, involved in my studies, or hired tutors. They just care if I can do the job well, and if I can do the job the best amongst the c…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 02:19 AM
8

Personality and career success isn't always correlated. Just like there are many successful bad boys, there can be successful bad girls. These girls are probably not dating the guys because they're desperate, but because they have similar risk taking tendencies.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 03:26 PM
1

If it bothers them then it's a concern. Otherwise I never had any romantic interactions until early 20's and no success until even later. I'm a late bloomer so he might be like that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 07:26 AM
2

You can't know for sure. But unless someone has given me reason to believe they are untrustworthy, I usually believe them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 08:06 AM
4

I am woman with a very low standard of cleaniness and messiness. I'm also someone that is bad at details and likes to deal with bigger concepts. In every living situation I've been in, with my husband, roommates, with my parents, I have always been less clean and worried about less stuff than others. I think it's a flaw but I don't think I'm a bad person for being this way. However, it becomes a problem if the result of my actions put extra stress on other people. If I don't clean up the bathroo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 06:33 AM
8

Women are still individual people, and of course they would have conflict. Different women have different ways of thinking, so disagreement isn't surprising. I think women talk about their conflicts more and don't suppress bad feelings towards someone else as much. Basically women are more likely to complain about something earlier and more often than men. This is also why women are great at advocacy, not just for ourselves but other groups as well, we're just more likely to voice concerns compa…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 09:12 PM
–

That seems like your requirement for a relationship, which is fine. But in couples I've seen where people actually like the club scene, this whole going to the club for hooters trade off doesn't fly.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 06:19 PM
–

The thing is lots of things in feminism isn't really something women have to super sell or be crafty about. Most men in real life care about women and are not antagonistic towards women. Lots of men want to see the women in their lives be successful and happy, and women are also better at standing behind one message for these kinds of advocacy stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 06:06 PM
–

Their husbands are definitely ok with it and go with them often. People tend to find similar people to be with. They don't go to hooters though, because it's obvious if you go there it's not just for chicken wings unless you just like their wings specifically, and in that case I don't think me or my friends would mind. But for clubbing, it's very common for people to go just for the core experience of that atmosphere without looking for sexual attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 05:58 PM
–

Karaoke room is not exactly the same experience. I actually like karaoke since it's not that loud and that atmosphere is more quiet and less hectic. But since I notice a clear difference, I assume someone that likes clubbing for that atmosphere and experience wouldn't find karaoke a good enough substitute. It's not like you go to a club to sing or talk. Most of my friends that are into clubbing also go to as many concerts as they could. There are only so many concerts though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 05:00 PM
–

I hate clubbing, but I'm not aware of any other place where you get a similar experience without the sexual association. Meaning an experience where there's loud music you dance to and the atmosphere of a lot of people being loud and drunk. The only thing I can think of is a concert. While there are many places where you can eat chicken wings without the sexual association.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 04:40 PM
–

To me it's someone that has casual sex recreationally without there needing/wanting to be much emotional connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 04:29 PM
22

Yes, but I was young and rejected enough favors to give myself plausible deniability in my own mind. Like I wouldn't let him buy me gifts or dinner, but would borrow notes and be bolder in asking him for help because I knew he would be more likely to say yes. Now I think it was exploitive, but when I was younger I was convinced it was on him since I never lied or led him on in my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 04:28 AM
–

I don't need my husband to be a provider or a protector most of the time. I just need him to be a good and kind person that is willing to help someone when they're in trouble. Which means if I'm in a strong state and can handle it, I don't need him to go out of his way to do things for me, but when I'm injured or weak compared to my adversaries (eg. I probably won't win in a fight against an average man), I expect him to help me because he doesn't want to see me hurt, frustrated, sad etc. Like h…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 03:02 AM
6

No, although everything is on a gradient so realistically I would be fine if it was so mild I don't notice. If they're diagnosed though it will probably be too much. I've historically not been great at communicating with neurodivergent people because I lack experience and knowledge with them. I'm likely to piss them off with my lack of understanding of their situation. I have ND friends and coworkers that knows this about me and gets it, they're ok with it because our interactions can be limited…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 04:11 PM
83

Rather be forced to work. I like my job, but even if I hated it it's just 8 hours a day and less personal and intrusive to my life. I can change jobs much easier. I'm not dependent on my specific employer as much as my own skill and abilities. Being married to someone means living with them and probably having children with them. This is a much bigger deal and much more impactful to your life if you hate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 12:44 PM
–

Most of my friends and network are upper middle class men that makes anywhere from $150k - over $1M / yr. None of them are interested in marrying someone from poverty or working at a minimum wage job. Most of their wives also at least make 6 figures with good education. The few stay at home moms I know had good college education and comes from similarly well off families. If they were ok with the type of women you're describing, dating would be much easier for them. Instead they have me going th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 06:45 AM
9

You just like a specific type of humor, and you should find someone compatible and appreciate your sense of humor. Not everyone is like you though, and different people appreciate different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 06:30 AM
–

No, most of the time I like someone more the more I know them and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 12:53 AM
4

Lots of people do, but a subgroup of people don't. And I seek out these people to be my friends and partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 09:36 PM
1

That's why I take my time with dating and getting to know someone. I also try to get the opinions of my family and friends as much as possible so they can keep me in check if I'm biased. It's not like you have to decide to marry someone right away, the entire dating process is a long data collection period. Even if you're heavily biased at the beginning because of the honeymoon period, you'll eventually see things clearer over time. I also have a list of objective attributes / standards I look f…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 10:12 AM
3

My parents were very understanding especially since they watched me grow up and know all of my quirks and weaknesses. I also kept them up to date on the current dating landscape so they have good information on what's going on and what happens to most of my dates whether they're successful for not. I talked to them a lot about dating and they kind of help me do a post-mortem on dates if I'm confused. Basically because I keep the very in the know, they're not as disconnected. Yes, some of their a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 10:04 AM
1

It doesn't work if both sides are worried about looking too needy. And it's not a healthy mindset to be in. I don't artificially stop myself from showing how much I like someone. Unless I have reason to suspect this person is malicious or bad for me, I always extend an olive branch. They don't always take it, but it often doesn't hurt to try. I act similarly in making friends and coworker relations.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 03:30 PM
2

I live in the bay area, I think I have more exposure to trans and homosexual people than average. Still, I'm not an academic in sexuality and don't plan to dedicate too much time on theory and philosophy around sexuality and gender studies. I don't need to study them, as long as I can easily make friends with them, get along with male family members, find it easy to be in a romantic relationship with them etc., that's what most people need. I don't think I (or most people) need to learn psycholo…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 06:40 PM
3

My option is formed by my life experiences. I treat men just like normal people and it had always worked. Sex and gender do impact behavior, but not that much. 50% of the population are the opposite gender. You grew up with them and they are people that you love and are loved by. You had decades of experience interacting with them. It's weird for a normal person to read a book to figure out how the opposite sex work, it's like reading a book on how to make friends. Some people might need it but …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 03:25 PM
6

But you haven't experienced both masculine and feminine consciousness either. I think men and women aren't that different because when I interact with the opposite gender, they don't seem that different. Same with people of different races, I haven't experienced being any other race, but when I hang out with them, they seem to have the same thoughts and concerns as me so it's reasonable to assume we're not that different.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 06:47 AM
0

Who records it doesn't matter, if I had a video of me online shaming me, it doesn't matter who uploaded it. Recording isn't the issue, you're in a public space and should have a reasonable expectation that you could be recorded (I was working on a privacy related project and just had our lawyer tell us this). The problem is if the context of the video is actually bad or not. I haven't watched the video so I'm not going to make a judgement. But if he was actually just a socially awkward guy that …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 11:34 PM
0

Healthcare? It’s only “amazing” if you can afford it. There are literally millions of people suffering from treatable health problems solely because they can’t afford it. And for so much of history a simple flu can kill you. You're comparing what your life could be, and with other developed countries rather than what humans had for most of our history. Which is good, we should always thrive to be better, and honestly it's people like you that will do the most to pressure politicians into doing b…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 09:42 PM
–

Until exclusivity is brought up. This is in the context of online dating where we start as strangers though, I might feel different about it if it's someone I know well and consider a good friend already.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 07:56 PM
0

Filming someone under a sexual context is different than filming someone in public. I didn't see the video, and if it's really just an awkward guy approaching it's pretty mean to call him a creep online. But people film women behaving badly and put those videos online all the time, like Karen videos and they're similarly shamed. It's not the same as filming someone in a sexual context whether they're being creepy or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 07:50 PM
1

I would use it without feeling too bad about it if the relationship is new-ish (committed relationship is a very wide range, can range all the way from just a new bf to married with kids). Once this guy starts feeling more like family, so closer to marriage, say maybe if I was given the option to have this test right before marriage as a last check before getting married to this guy. Then I would still use it, let my fiancé know that I'm doing it, with full knowledge and responsibility of what t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 07:42 PM
1

United States
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 07:29 PM
-2

I'm technically purple pilled but lean blue. And yes, I am relatively happy with the current state of the world. Talking to my parents and grandparents, I don't think our lives are that bad. We didn't have to live through any real struggle or real wars. As expensive as it is, our healthcare can do amazing things and things that would be life ending in the past are simple procedures now. We had much worse drug problems before. We have more entertainment options than any other generation. If my gr…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 03:36 AM
–

No. My friends and family also have no filter so I have good data on their opinions, they're pretty split on who is the better looking one between us.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 12:50 AM
–

Some people just want to acknowledge good traits when they see it. She might also just want you to feel good and be happy about your relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 09:38 PM
6

You are the father with equal rights to the child after it is born, the mother cannot legally stop you from doing a paternity test. I see where you're coming from and why it would be nice for some men, but you are asking for government intervention not to grant men any real rights, but to help them have an uncomfortable discussion with their wives. Which is kind of silly to have a legal policy and major funding around.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 03:03 AM
3

Depends on how hard it is to earn money for the individuals. Basically you two have a combined list of things to do (making money, housekeeping, childcare, errands etc.), and both of you divide that up and try to be fair in terms of effort and number of hours these tasks will take and try to share the burden equally. Most men I know would be able to make enough money to support a family by just working a normal office 9-5 that's not very exhausting (I have rich friends). In this case, housework …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 11:07 AM
18

I would be happy to have my husband be my boss, he's a great boss. If he wants to pay me my current benefits and total compensation, then sure he can have 8 hours of my time Monday - Fridays. Plus our money is combined so him paying me is just me paying myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 10:56 AM
–

First of all, I did wrong things to many guys in my life as a part of growing up. Just like I did with girls. Sometimes I was rude, said mean things. Things like being insensitive when someone's parents were sick, brought an insensitive/bad present to their birthday party as a joke when it's not funny, copied their work a bit in school, didn't defend a friend when people were ganging up on him etc. These are things that happens all the time and I apologize for them all the time. They're not gend…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 11:52 PM
13

Didn't they poll college students on how much they think they'll earn when they graduate and the average student think they're going to make $100k upon graduation? Young people expect to earn more and think COL is higher, probably because they consume a lot of media from creators in high COL areas, since if make content about your high income / costs of living, it has a higher shock factor and more likely to have more views. Young people see this content and set a higher expectation for income /…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 11:20 PM
1

Of course, especially since we're married. I don't have a time limit, but I expect him to also be a good partner and don't want me to carry the burden for a long period of time. As long as he is trying his best to get back into the work force in good faith then it's fine. Honestly my salary alone would be enough to support both of us plus a family, but he knows I don't want to be the only person working (until we have enough to retire) so I expect him to be a good person and be considerate of my…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:45 PM
3

There's much more to life and a relationship than sexual experience. It's very 1 dimensional thinking to think someone would only have more work experience than someone else after 15 years. We go through many micro-interactions every day that adds up, there is something very wrong if someone didn't grow at all except for 1 axis after 15 years. When I hear someone trying to say sexual experience can make up for an age gap and life experience, it makes me think they think sex is the only thing tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 09:49 PM
12

Just because you're celebate doesn't mean your life stops, you still lived and gained life experience, and matured in the last 15 years. You're still a 35 year old dating a 20 year old with all the potential problems that comes with that. There's a lot of cons for a 20 year old to date a 35 year old, the only thing is that some women might overlook the cons for the money.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 07:15 PM
3

It's a red flag, which means I'll investigate further and pay more attention to how he behaves and if there's any sign of psychological trauma or mental dysfunction from that. Also need to dig a bit deeper into how he might parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 07:11 PM
–

Emotions are shortcuts your brain takes to process emotions, or output of micro inputs you might not notice otherwise. It's the same type of biological function as instinct. Your subconscious brain might recognize a pattern before you can consciously process all the information. Your prefrontal cortex is good at some things but bad / slow at others. Ignoring emotions mean you're ignoring a very powerful biological function you naturally have. Emotions is like a sensor, which means it could misfi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:00 PM
1

I would raise them based on the socioeconomic class I'm in and give them the resources and wisdom I have for this specific environment. I don't know enough about other environments to help him as much. Get him to do generally well in school, but also enough time to play and enjoy his childhood. I'll see what he gravitates towards and support him there. I would encourage college and help in making decisions related to college based on my own experiences, but also do research and act accordingly b…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 03:19 AM
–

Of course
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 02:52 AM
–

I never went to church but I did have a friend that went to church regularly. My n count is only 1 and that's with my husband so I think I fit in with the church crowd pretty well on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 02:51 AM
–

Isn't someone that's both good at sports and smart objectively better than someone that's just smart? Isn't natual intelligence better than just memorizing a lot of stuff? Especially with the internet where you can just looked up whatever you need to?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 12:05 AM
–

Red flag, I will proceed with caution in the relationship and try figure out what exactly "crazy" means in this context and how he handled it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 11:26 PM
2

Mostly a centralist. Economically I think I lean on the conservative side, on social issues I lean liberal. Both main political parties are too polarized in one aspect or another for me right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 11:21 PM
14

There are benefits to having a good partner in life for both men and women. That doesn't necessarily mean you NEED to have a partner. Need is a pretty strong threshold, me feeling bad when I don't have something doesn't mean I need it. Compared to how women used to be completely dependent on men for survival because she legally can't own a lot of basic life stuff, both men and women don't need each other in that way. Women saying they don't need men doesn't mean they don't get anything from bein…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 09:55 PM
2

Women should do these things if they want to and if they think it gives them a better result when dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 09:03 PM
2

I wouldn't say I don't like it. Each time I do it, it feels pretty good. I'm just a naturally shy person that gets especially embarrassed around sex. I used to close my eyes during kissing scenes on TV until I was 20. Also since my husband's sex drive is higher than mine, I know if I fail he'll initiate reasonably soon anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 06:55 PM
4

Probably 1 in 5 times. Mostly I become very touchy, nuzzle against him etc. I can be pretty subtle so it doesn't always work. If I feel super bold I might touch him... in more obvious places and he usually get the hint then pretty fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 06:19 PM
5

From the girl's side, and from witnessing lots of friend's dating lives from their 20's to their 30's, I just don't see or feel any such pressure. I obviously can't read the minds of guys, but from a results perspective I don't see a difference. I can be wrong, but to me I feel like there's a disconnect between how men talk about this and how they behave / actually select girls in real life. Or this can be selection bias in PPD / online since I know that men that are chaste and low n count tend …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:44 AM
11

I have only had sex with my husband, I have friends who slept around a lot during college. There were no real difference in our ability to find high quality husbands. If anything they had an easier time because they were more comfortable with having romantic relationships with men while I was all awkward about it at first. The only difference is that their husbands also slept around a lot during college while my husband didn't and was more similar to my sexual past.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:42 AM
7

If you're white collar or are around white collar people, it might be because your idea of mature is different from theirs. Or their upbringing required a different type of emotional maturity than you. I grew with everyone around me college educated and white collar jobs, and when I talk to blue collar people or people that are not as steeped in an academic environment all the time, their manner of speech and what they focus on can be different from mine. I realized we're both good at living in …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 11:33 PM
5

Yeah, my interests are very male dominated. My female friends feel emotionally closer. But when it comes to who I have the most fun talking to or who I can talk with for hours on end, they're usually guys since we share the most similar interests. For most of my life I have only seen men as platonic friends, and there are certain aspects of male energy and dynamics that I really enjoy and feel comfortable / at home with. Men just come across as cool. They're more able to laugh at themselves and …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 04:34 PM
8

I used to think we're lacking some kind of infrastructure to meet people because it was so difficult for me to make new friends in a new city. But then my parents moved in with me for 4 months to help with renovations and stuff, and by the end of the month my mom went and talked to all the neighbors and befriended many of them. I do feel like there's some skill we're missing that's not just a missing 3rd place spoon feeding us friends. Older people seem to be more proactive, and people rarely sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:45 AM
6

I'm not interested in casual sex but had a few friends that were really into it. And they have other things to do just like you and me. They had assignments, exams, interviewing for internships, and eventually they have work with crunch times and everyday errands to run. They had to clean their house, do their laundry, hang out with girl friends, do things with their family. They also have other things they enjoy doing like one of them loved baking and would make these really fancy cakes that sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:34 AM
3

You know the only reason that women can rather easily have the standard that men earn more is because a lot of men have that “I don’t care how much a woman earns” mentality right? And I don’t know about the hook up and casual scene, so I can’t speak on any of that. But if you’re getting married and starting a family, all my assets become marital assets anyways. Also, even if she’s unwilling to carry you financially, at least you won’t have to carry her if she’s got more money, and also your kids…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 10:33 PM
2

Obviously I'm not speaking it has to be exactly equal, I'm not going to fuss over rounding errors or reasonable variations in pay. Especially in my field we get paid a lot in stocks, so depending on the day, pay fluctuates. It's the general idea of around the same. I'm ok with a guy making $50k less than me or something as long as we have similar earning potential. None of this is philosophical or out of principle for me. I don't think men should provide or anything like that. I'm just dealing w…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:06 PM
4

If I was a man I would also not want the average income to go down if I marry. In fact, the reason I phrased it like this was because I've seen male friends that married women with the same income as him, and men that married down a lot in income. And the reality of what happens is that two coworkers that made the same amount of money and had the same lifestyle, now have different lifestyles because one household effectively doubled their income while the other household's income remained simila…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:01 PM
14

For me it’s not that deep, money is a thing that I can trade for goods and services and the more I have the easier my life can be. I don’t particularly care if men aren’t ambitious or don’t want to earn money, but I would care if I was considering starting a family with him. Since more money is always good, and I want the average income per adult in the family to at least not go down if I were to marry someone. I don’t associate money with morality inherently. If someone does shady things to get…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:00 AM
–

My mom is a feminist and very career focused and had 2 kids. I'm also planning to have 2 kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:31 AM
–

I didn't look through all your work, but I admire the fact you did the math.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 12:38 AM
–

I don't consider myself a very romantic person, but if we're talking about high effort gifts or plans. For his birthday, I made a scavenger hunt around our neighborhood and house. It's kind of like a game where he find clues that lead to other clues. It's various random things, but one thing was it brought him to his favorite restaurant where I pre-purchased his usual meal and asked the staff to put a clue in there, I also made a VR game where he had to play in to find a password to a web page t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 04:32 PM
4

Yes, I pretty much found a male clone of me and married him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 08:47 PM
–

Your definition of a relationship will be very different from the definition of a relationship for most mentally healthy people. So you're not compatible with them. Most people would not want to be suffocated with affection and attention from another person. You might think that's great if you're lacking affection, but think about when you are very full, now imagine if someone forces you to keep eating more. That wouldn't feel good even though a person that was starved for food their whole life …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 05:08 PM
–

Yes, computer science.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 03:41 PM
2

I'm talking about myself and I know what my personality is like and I have good information on what was in the past. I'm not against being a housewife because of respect. A housewife is a respectable job, and in my opinion a harder job than my 9-5 and a lot more boring, which is why I don't want to do it. Men that are respectable and admirable themselves often understands the workload of a SAHM and respects her. Although here you do see the problem with a lack of real power, you have to depend o…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 08:26 PM
3

My parents and grandparents all tell me my life would suck if I was born earlier since there are certain expectations for women that I would hate doing. My interests are all pretty male dominated and have a pretty masculine personality. Being born in modern times means I have the flexibility to live a life that I want vs being forced to play a role that doesn't fit me at all. Also I feel like most women wouldn't want to live completely separately from men. There's not going to be enough demand f…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 06:58 PM
4

I'm SO happy I wasn't born any earlier. My personality and interests would completely screw me over in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 05:56 PM
2

Just because some girls expect you to pay, doesn't mean you have to pay. Do what you feel comfortable with and it will filter out incompatible people. Many men probably expect sex way earlier than I would feel comfortable sleeping with them. I don't dwell on what they expect, but focus on what I feel comfortable with instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 04:44 PM
24

Socializing is important, but that doesn't mean you have to party or date. Some people enjoy different types of socialization, and you should do things you actually enjoy rather than bending your personality to what everyone else is. I didn't party or date during high school, but found a nice group of nerds to hang out with that are still very close friends to this day and we do fun things together all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 06:19 PM
3

And I would say otherwise when you look at the women who seek out such groups out. I doubt some even have a bf/husband given the sort of women who go to such groups. Most women there aren't allergic to men or anything. Sometimes you just want to do things with other women or want no sexual pressure. Most guys I know often just want to hang out with other guys too. The thing is men tend to approach women in mixed environments, and put them under more sexual pressure than women would do with men. …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 06:04 PM
16

Probably because while dome groups of women want to mostly be in women only environments, most are not so repulsed by men that they can't be around men at all. It would be extremely neurotic to the degree of a mental illness if you can't even deal with passing by random men on the street or seeing men at all without even having to interact with them. Some women that join these women only spaces probably have boyfriends or husbands, but some might not, and going to women only spaces might serve t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 02:53 AM
2

I think it depends. I know I am naturally more attracted to people that both look and have similar mannerisms to people that are my own race. I think I'm just attracted to people I consider familiar. A guy that's not my race but have familiar features is also good. I think that's because I have a very positive impression of the people around me when I was growing up. Growing up, every person that have cherished me, protected me, or went out of their way to make me happy was someone of my race. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 04:54 AM
–

I'm short, and I can confirm that at some point you can't tell the difference in height. The angle you have to look up at doesn't change that much based on height after a point, it changes more based on how far they are away from you. I feel like the 6 feet thing is just because it's a nice whole number.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:39 PM
–

Yeah I know, there's a lot of problems when limiting voting in any way. I'm not advocating to actually make this law, although it would be nice if we can brainstorm something along these lines. But isn't it much less abusable than requiring people to make a certain amount of money to vote?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:34 PM
–

I would rather have mandatory classes and a test to make sure everyone actually understand and are fully informed on what they're voting for.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 08:29 PM
2

Well the point of the 23andme is for fun anyways. The goal isn't to establish paternity, it just does so as a minor bonus. If my husband wanted that much certainty, he can always ask for one.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 06:43 PM
2

To be fair, I would react a lot worse to other kinds of accusations of cheating. Different women have different tolerances, so maybe you know some that can work through other accusations of cheating easily, but I'm not someone that could easily work through accusations of cheating normally. The reason I'm not reacting more to a paterntiy test compared to other accusations of cheating is because I know there is a unequal biological advantage that favors me in this situation, and it doesn't feel r…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 06:41 PM
5

I don't think asking for a paternity test is a divorce level thing, but that's just me. It IS an implied accusation of cheating, and you can't really get around that, which is why it's an uncomfortable topic to bring up. Different women have different tolerance levels for these kinds of accusations, some women would divorce if a man questions the relationship status of her and her male friends. I would treat it as similar to him asking for, say my GPS history or a receipt to a place I said I was…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 05:44 PM
5

I think my senses are pretty good. Because most people I let into my life are good and all men I've let into my life, including friends and dates have been very respectful and kind. I have never had any guy try to take advantage of me or lie to me. And I know sometimes I get a bad feeling about someone and want to distance myself and would follow that feeling. But I'm sure my sense isn't infallible. Like any kind of manipulation and fraud, some people are good manipulators and some people are go…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 10:07 PM
1

Cool, do you like it or are you just enduring it for the promo? Supply chain management isn't close to what I do but I always thought it would be pretty cool to learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 08:54 AM
1

I totally agree that you should put your relationship above your friendship. But I'm also used to my friends behaving appropriately, and you can always distance yourself if they don't. Maybe because of the types of people I'm around I can be a bit naive on what people are capable of, but OP did say "use an "average" of experiences specific to your life (or the average of women you know) to construct what "typical" scenario of each looks like." Typical scenario of a male friend liking me would be…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 08:50 AM
6

For one I'm only saying well over 70k because I don't wanna put the actual number out there If you didn't want to put a number out there, then don't put a number out there. What's the point of putting out a number just to have your real number to be nowhere close to it? I didn't want to put out a number for my salary or assets either, so I didn't mention any numbers. And I didn't do that because I don't actually think it matters when there's already a bunch of other fundamental differences that …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 08:34 AM
1

I don't have to "keep him around" if he crosses boundaries and is disrespectful towards me. If a friend always insult me me or steal from me, I wouldn't keep her around either. You're also describing someone that's kind of mentally unhealthy. A mentally healthy person can confess feelings, get a rejection, and operate normally and respect my decision. If he cannot do that, there's a fundamental character flaw and he is now considered harmful to me. I have very few friends that exhibit these type…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 08:09 AM
3

People don't or shouldn't make life partner decisions just off of salary. The fact that you think throwing what you think to be a good salary number out there will change someone's mind about something as significant as a life partner when there's other fundamental incompatibilities is another way we think differently. You seem proud and happy with your accomplishments and I don't want to diminish that. You can probably live a comfortable life and that's great for you, but it's not really high e…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 07:56 AM
2

I can just say no if he becomes inappropriately close and isn't respecting my monogamy or my partner. Just because he's a friend doesn't mean I have to go along with whatever he suggests, and as a friend and a reasonable person, he should understand. Depends on how he acts and how my partner is feeling about it, I can create the appropriate boundaries. I assume my partner is a reasonable person here too. I have a base assumption my friends are respectful and mentally healthy. But if not, the mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 07:26 AM
1

Maybe, but what's the point of getting into a relationship if you can't keep it? It's much worse to keep getting into relationships and not keeping it, than it is to seldom get into relationships but is able to reliably keep it. Plus, people are still the same and at the end of the day wants the same things. The smart ones can look past the window dressing. If they can't even do that, it's not terrible to filter those people out. No one said to date exactly how your parents dated. But take what …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 06:42 AM
3

I think the experiences of those who went to college is more likely to be similar to those that didn't. Similar to how I have a lot in common with people I went to the same school as except much more broad. I don't know much about experiences of people that didn't go to college, so I can't be sure. But I do think I will relate to people that did go to college a lot more, and they will click better with my family and friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 06:34 AM
14

You're talking to a dude that had 4 full ride offers to major schools and didn't go because I find school boring and unchallenging That means you'll find what I learned boring and unchallenging too, so we're not compatible still. I like learning about stuff in college in a college setting, you clearly don't. ​ Those women typically have nothing to offer but sex and obesity... You can believe that you're special, but unwilling to extend that grace and possibility to someone with similar circumsta…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 03:36 AM
14

Because those are the type of men I'm used to. I went to college, everyone in my family went to college, all my friends went to college. I can relate to academic people that went to college. Of course there are people that make a lot of money that never went to college. But I wouldn't relate to their life experiences well, we can't remanence over college days and the way we think about life might be different. There are plenty of people that are college educated and make a lot of money too, that…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 12:49 AM
5

That's why I had a caveat of if that guy wants to harm me or not. Someone that hates you obviously would harm you if given the chance, I'm not sure if in this scenario if the guy that loves you would also harm you. My basic assumption for people is that they're good and innocent by default. Someone can love someone else and not act on it. It's not a good idea, but it doesn't make them bad. I had a crush on a friend once, I never told him because I was shy. Doesn't mean I would sabotage him, it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 09:23 PM
4

I don't think a girl that hates me is fun. I would rather not have a guy in love with me that I can't return, and that'll make me feel bad too. But the alternative is someone that I consider a friend who actively hates me, and that will make me feel even worse. Btw, I'm assuming in this scenario I cannot end either of these relationships. I can't just stop talking to them, because otherwise either of these situations wouldn't be a big deal because you can just end your friendship and both situat…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 09:14 PM
26

Obviously a male friend that is secretly in love with me, unless he's crazy / dangerous and that can possibly lead him to hurting me. If you're going to choose between someone hating or loving you, self preservation says you choose someone loving you. Basically I would choose whoever's less dangerous to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 08:52 PM
1

Right, but the point I was making is that if anybody cared to pay the slightest bit of attention they'd realize it's not just "he knows what computer to buy", it demonstrates life skills far beyond just which laptop can run Minecraft the best. You don't have to wait for them to pay attention. If it demonstrates life skills far beyond optimizing minecraft then show those life skills directly, why wait for others to connect the dots? It's kind of your job to show others who you are as a person dee…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 06:31 PM
1

I agree that often people have niche skills that are unappreciated by most people, and only can be appreciated by certain niche people that is just as passionate as you are. And it's much better when you meet someone that appreciate niche passions and knowledge that you have. When I was young, I had a bunch of niche interests too that I felt really proud of because I spent many hours invested in it. But just because you're passionate about something, doesn't mean most people are. And since we li…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 05:29 PM
1

I just want to live a happy life, I don't care or want to be the subject of envy. People not considering me a threat sounds great, who wants to make enemies? Especially if it's over something as stupid as looking good?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 11:44 PM
–

You don't have to share a lot of interests, but don't put yourself in a situation that you don't enjoy to meet guys. Also, I know a lot of older people that are married but kinda just live as roommates now that their kids grew up. They married, had kids immediately, and crutched on having kids in common. They never really got to know each other well. My parents were like that, as well as many couples I see their age. They don't actually have much in common but made great parents and worked toget…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 10:07 PM
–

I like video games and studied CS in school so that's pretty easy for me. But what if you genuinely don't share interests with most guys? I have friends that didn't like any of this stuff, and I tried bringing them to gaming events and stuff and they were bored out of their minds and I can't imagine any relationship that formed out of that actually working.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 09:12 PM
3

The definitely don't want some nerd who's going to explain to her how C++ works or give her a detailed explanation of the history of the Roman Empire My husband can do both of these things and it definitely makes me smile when he geeks out and teach me things I don't know. But the thing is, that's not his only competence. He's good at a lot of things that's important for everyday life. He knows how best to talk to bosses and cowokers to move his career to where he wants it to be, how to make fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 09:04 PM
4

If these AI partners are so great, why wouldn't women buy them too? If they're actually better than real partners, then let both sides be happy with their AI.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 08:52 PM
–

He looks decent but he looks better as a girl since he's got relatively soft features.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 07:55 PM
–

I think she's pretty. Sounds like you don't, but that doesn't stop me from genuinely thinking she's pretty.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 07:20 PM
–

Or the man can have a girlfriend or wife that he finds more attractive than his friend. Men and women can become friends for the same reason you become friends with other men, you see each other often enough to have common things to talk about and help each other out. Some men (and women) find it difficult to have platonic friends of the opposite gender because they find it difficult to turn off sexual/romantic thoughts around the other gender regardless of the situation because of their persona…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 06:59 PM
2

I think every generation thinks their situation is super special when most of the time people's behaviors are similar across generations. When I was dating my parents gave me a lot of advice, not all of the details are relevant, but it was very helpful in terms of understanding a potential partner and how to connect to them on a deeper level. You can ignore the stuff that's pure logistical and outdated, but keep the stuff that's is meaningful. Older parents and mentors have been very helpful in …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 06:26 PM
15

I mean, aren't there people like hosts in Japan that charge money for being very gentlemanly and treat women like princes? That market do exist, it's just that there is less women willing to pay for that experience than men willing to pay for sex, so it's a niche thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 06:08 PM
1

The link you cited acknowledged that economic inequality and fast growth are the most likely culprit, and the one child policy might have contributed to this. The US crime rate has also been steadily decreasing until 2020 where there's a pop: https://www.macrotrends.net/countries/USA/united-states/crime-rate-statistics The having kids below replacement levels will only last 1 or 2 generations, probably just 1 when we do the population correction. It's a self-fixing problem unlike global warming.…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 11:06 PM
1

You don't need to have 6 children, just have the number of children that you want to have, and over a course of a few generations everything will correct itself. Forcing people that don't want kids to have kids is how we ended up with a bunch of people that naturally doesn't desire kids that much anyways. The social security thing will be a bit of a pain, but artificially having more kids just kicks the problem down the road. We can't continue this ponzi scheme forever. We can't just have more a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 09:50 PM
2

But if the people that wants to check out would make bad partners anyways, them staying in would just pollute the dating pool. I would rather have a smaller pool of good candidates than a big pool of murky candidates. You have to deal with reality, pulling everyone that wants to leave back in doesn't actually increase your effective dating pool, it just creates an illusion and now you have to do more work to filter out the bad ones rather than just letting them leave on their own. If you're worr…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 06:57 PM
6

But the situation isn't all single women stop dating. Those that like dating and have a positive perception of men would still be dating. It's just those that doesn't want to date or has a negative perception of men that's dropping out, which is actually good because you probably don't want to date people that already have a chip on their shoulder about dating anyways. It's the same logic as mgtow men leaving the dating pool, if they already have a negative perception of women and the dating pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 06:31 PM
1

If they are truly expecting things that are unrealistic, then they're not that eligible in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 06:27 PM
1

I think if you give 100 men and 100 women the opportunity to have sex with a stranger, more men would say yes than women. Women overall does not desire casual sex as much as men, which is why the casual sex market favors women because of supply and demand.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 05:38 AM
3

But not as much as the number of men would if given the same opportunity. There will always be a variety of different personalities, men or women. Both men and women can vary in sex drive, risk tolerance etc. We're talking about what women's experiences are like as a group relative to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 01:11 AM
2

I don't know enough unpartnered women over 40 to really speak to it. I know several in their 30's that's doing just fine. I'm not around a lot of people that divorce so the only older people I know that are single are people like my grandma when my grandpa passed away. She had zero interest in dating after but had lots of interest from men, even though there were many more women than men in her age group. Most women around her age isn't too interested in dating so if you are open to it apparentl…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 11:42 PM
13

Women has it easier in dating specifically, in terms of finding someone. But women have a lot of other issues that will impact the dating experience negatively. Things like being physically more vulnerable and and sexually I don't think the experience is as great and carefree as it is for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 08:38 PM
6

Marriage protects the one that has less assets. Historically that's been the woman and it's still often the case, but the woman having more or equal assets to the man is becoming more common. Another thing that marriage that it is just a pain to break up. Even the most fair and painless divorces is still a lot of paperwork and effort that no one wants to do given the choice. This can be a feature or a bug depending on what you want in a relationship. Some people like it because it makes it so yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 07:06 PM
–

I had romantic feelings for a friend before, never expressed by feelings for him though. Eventually the feelings just faded as I focused on other people. We're still friends and he has no idea I liked him at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 06:49 PM
10

Technically yes, but I also think you can be likable and all that BEFORE someone likes you. You just need to have the potential for it. I was employable before I was employed. Plus there are so many people in the world that I feel like just statistically someone will have the potential to like, love, admire, enjoy you, or find you attractive. Just because you're not made aware of it yet doesn't mean those people doesn't exist or won't exist. I like to be optimistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 06:30 PM
–

I wouldn't blame anyone for not pick up on the fact I like them. I'm terrible at signaling. I would find opportunities to be around them more (like going to the same events), but I'm also very shy so I wouldn't really want to talk to or interact with them. I would actually interact and engage with them less than normal. I actually have a lot of male friends so I'm very comfortable and friendly in a platonic situation, but I have no idea what to do in a romantic setting, and that makes me uncomfo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 05:57 PM
–

You should have a compensation discussion every year. Your manager should be the one scheduling it. Usually it's for them to tell your your comp increase, but often you can use that time or before it to negotiate. I'm too non-confrontational to push too much. If I don't feel like I'm being paid enough I would just switch jobs. Luckily I had managers that were very good at advocating for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 04:57 PM
–

I agree that the opinions you surround yourself with plays a big environment. But in my opinion, stuff like social media and feminist talking points are relatively weak forces compared to the influences of the real people you have around you. The stuff you see and experience every day growing up isn't going to be easily overridden by random posts you see online.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:12 PM
–

The men older women dealt with are more sexist but also more socially conservative. That makes older women more socially conservative since that's the environment they grew up in. Being brought up in a socially conservative and sexist environment makes you more tolerant and accepting of that situation. Especially if they don't think they can make enough money to survive on their own. A lot of sexism in socially conservative cultures can also be benevolent, such as chivalry. My grandpa would neve…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:00 PM
–

I didn't realize I used plural there. I only have 1 friend that has a collection of frozen embryos that's already fertilized like that. I have many more with frozen eggs and some guys will even freeze sperm. We have heavily subsidized reproductive benefits where we work, that's why stuff like this is common.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 04:43 PM
–

My brother is very smiley and in a sweet way. He's just genuinely happy most of the time because he's coddled and spoiled by me and my parents. Imagine giving a 4 year old ice cream, he's always got that face when you have his attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 04:29 PM
–

Yep, I have friends that have frozen embryos with both genders and they can just choose which one to have next and the age order of the children. Kinda unreal.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 04:24 PM
–

Social media and feminism might move the needle a bit, but stuff like this is easily overridden by lived experiences or advice from family members or friends you trust. I'm not gonna take stuff like "men are all trash" seriously when 95% of the men I met in my life were great.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 04:21 PM
–

Work life
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:02 AM
–

I don't think this is actually the true cause of the effect, but you have to admit that in the world today the countries with the softest patriarchy is the wealthiest and most powerful, and there's a very strong correlation with a country becoming wealthy and the softening of patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 04:58 PM
–

You're going to your MIL's place and your husband weaseled out of it? It's visiting his mom though!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 04:46 PM
–

The point of approaching a girl and initial flirting isn't just to get her to like you at all costs, you're also evaluating her and filtering out women that are not compatible with you. You don't have to know the natural progression of things for her or society, you just need to know what's comfortable and natural to you. You probably have a natural feeling if you want to make a move after 5 minutes, or if you don't feel comfortable with it until hours later. You can't really make a "wrong" move…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 04:33 PM
–

Missing growth milestones itself isn't traumatic. It can be traumatic if you were made to feel shame about it. I missed a lot of growth milestones, and I act very child-like and immature compared to my peers. With the exception of my job and career and money related stuff (eg. buying a house), I'm behind my peers by almost a decade for almost everything that has to do with maturity and growing up. Not just relationship stuff, but stuff like... first time I vacuumed or bought shoes by myself. I n…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 04:25 PM
–

Do what you feel like is natural to you. Each woman will have a different preference for how fast you "make a move", and you're right in that if she doesn't like it, she either doesn't like you or are not compatible with you either sexually or personality wise (eg. extroversion / introversion scale).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 04:16 PM
1

If you're slow or bad at doing your job, you get paid less per hour on average. We're talking about men and women as a group, being faster than the slowest gazelle means you get you one gazelle, but if the competition is which group can catch the most gazelles per day, the fastest predators would win.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 03:19 AM
3

You can't actually think a group of me wouldn't find those jobs I listed much easier to do than a group of women right? I have tried doing home renovations and stuff like installing floors with my dad and brother, tools require strength too. They can lift up a drill, or saw wood for longer periods of time than I can, and are less exhuasted after. They can carry more hardwood floor boards from the garage to the living room at a time than I can. Yes tools narrow the gap a lot than it otherwise wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 07:47 PM
2

Several reasons why women on average make less than men: There are jobs that are kind of unaccessible, or less viable for women because of strength requirements or a high level of risk. Things like firefighters, police/military, construction, carpentry, trades, moving services, stuff like doordash during dark hours etc. Men being physically stronger do have a legitimate advantage over women for many jobs, this is why men historically worked. Women only started working more consistently when tech…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 06:38 PM
3

Yeah, that's exactly what I did with my husband before we got married. As far as I'm concerned as long as we're not married we're separate financially. From a financial perspective, dating but before marriage = close friend, married = family. I don't need any financial assistance from him since I'm not suffering from a financial problem. There's no significant pain point he can relive me of by throwing money at me. But if I was actively suffering from a financial problem, I think we all expect p…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:32 AM
31

Some women with high sex drives would be pretty bothered and there might be some complaints from them. Some wouldn't care and just abstain for a year with the guys, also sex toy sales will probably go up.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 12:56 AM
1

I think most people like helping others, but usually not at significant cost to them. Helping the homeless is a very tough problem to crack in general. Because you actually have to give them money or a place to live, not usually something most people are willing to do. There is also the risk of the homeless person being dangerous, so the more sketchy someone looks the less likely we want to interact and therefore help them. I think most people desire the positive feeling of helping someone, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 08:23 AM
3

Most people will stop to help you if they think you need help. If I'm dragging a huge luggage bag double my size super slowly across the ground and clearly going nowhere, men, women, and old ladies will stop and offer to help. Most people like helping others and feel good about it. Asking for help is just a way of telling people you need help. Women used to be seen as more helpless. As women are seen as more capable, it makes sense that less people automatically assumes she needs help.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 06:36 PM
–

Probably a little bit, but the vast majority of how I think about marriage and motherhood comes from my personal experience with observing my own mother / grandmothers, other people's mothers / grandmothers etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 06:00 PM
14

I definitely don't like to deal with baggage when I date men. This includes past relationships, family trauma, mental illnesses. I like well adjusted people that are generally happy with their lives. I have to say I have seen more men putting up with really serious baggage (mental and financial) from hot women than women dealing with serious baggage from hot men. So I actually don't think men are that adverse to baggage than women at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 12:22 AM
–

Depends on what you mean by arranged marriage. I know a lot of people my parent's generation where they pretty much didn't date themselves and their parents would bring people to them, they still got to choose who they wanted to marry by dating and such, but the partners are family approved. One of my mom's friend kept saying no to everyone and her parents eventually got burned out and just told her they're not gonna look anymore so choose someone and she was like "sure" and picked the last pers…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 06:26 PM
–

Depends on why they're not travelling without their spouse. You're supposed to enjoy spending time with your spouse. But sometimes the spouse isn't as interested in the place you're travelling to or the activity, sometimes you want to catch up with friends or classmates / reunion and it doesn't make sense for your spouse to go. It's even fine if you just want some alone time as long as it doesn't happen that often. But if your spouse want to go, and you're just saying no consistently because you…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 01:23 AM
–

Most people, especially women in these jobs you referenced do it because they enjoy it and it gives them a sense of happiness and accomplishment. Not everyone hates their jobs. They're not crappy stressful jobs if that's what you like to do, and there's a good chance you like to do it since you put so many hours studying it and chose it over all the other jobs you could've had. Some people don't like working these jobs and would love to be a housemaker instead. Women that feel that way usually a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 09:09 PM
-1

That's a pretty smart way to use AI tbh, I'm impressed at the creativity and generally admire people who gathers and analyzes data in a smart way. If I was still dating I would probably use it to do some initial screening too. I don't think that's an issue if it's all public information. It might not be that accurate, but it's up to you how much margin of error / false positives you're willing to take on stuff like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 10:14 PM
2

Because men approach women so much that many women can get away with not approaching and still get into a satisfactory relationship. A woman that is willing to approach will have more opportunities than a woman that won't, but a woman that won't approach may still have enough opportunities where she isn't forced to approach to find someone. Unless you have a specific personality, approaching takes effort and practice, and lots of people don't like doing it. When you don't like doing something, y…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 10:03 PM
3

They're above average, I think most girls would feel pretty good being around them, and have a good chance of success if they were more proactive. But not hot enough to have girls chasing them while they aren't showing any interest or trying to reach out themselves. They don't use dating apps that much, their personalities are not one that really enjoy dates with relative strangers and the dating process stresses them out. From what they tell me, when they tried dating apps they have around a 5%…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 09:54 PM
6

I know a lot of successful and above average guys. I don't know what your standard for handsome is. Not male model but I think they're all pretty good looking dudes. They struggled because they were not proactive. They have a passive or shy personality so they don't pursue opportunities. They get easily embarrassed or uncomfortable in social settings outside of a very specific dynamic with friends / coworkers, and gets anxious when they don't know what to do when romantic situations pop up. The …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 06:51 PM
–

No, if I cared that much about being wined and dined I would've dated someone different. And my husband wouldn't have dated someone that that prioritized being wined and dined that much either. You can't compared because I don't value what random other people in the internet might value. My husband already does the most to make me happy, and he knows what actually makes me happy compared to some other guy like the one referenced in the tiktok video. That other guy probably knows what makes his g…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 06:33 PM
–

The bar is only low if you set it low. You don't have to entertain any of the above behaviors if you don't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 06:23 PM
–

Well if you're on a financial subreddit, I think how much you make is crucial information for people to give you any advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 06:17 PM
–

Maybe. My parents were very protective / really tried to make me avoid heartbreak. I ended up never having a bad break up or heartbreak and they were very happy about that, my mom said she was very glad since she thinks it makes the rest of your life easier. I don't know how true that is. My instinct is that I'm tough enough to take some heartbreak and be fine, but since I never experienced it, I don't know how much of that is just naiveté.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 06:10 PM
–

People with high income, especially young people with excess money like that are usually the ones that will look for investment advice on places like reddit. It self selects for people that have money to invest. It's obviously not representative of the whole population.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 05:18 PM
1

Sometimes miscommunication happens. You wanna explain your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 12:24 AM
0

A free market is what we have now. You can try to beat up a guy to take the woman and see how that turns out. Objects and subjects are not relevant in a free market, technically everyone is an object and all that matters is what you can make happen with your resources in this system. If someone else is more likable than you, or has a higher standing in society (eg. Better behaved to society's rules), it's fair for them to get help and 10 v 1 you in a free market.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 12:40 AM
1

I'm not... but culturally I come from a "my parent's money is my money" kind of culture. My money is also my parent's money, they can easily ask me for money, but it usually doesn't flow that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 08:52 PM
0

Free market factors everything in, including environmental factors. If a guy can get his hands on a gun in a fight with you, that's free market. Same as if a guy can get his hands on friends or helpers, or appeal to other members of society to agree with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 08:50 PM
2

Yes, but in the current environment, natural physical strength is not as effective as if we were in the wild. You can't take another guy's woman just because you're physically stronger. Free market also includes social power, which means someone with a better standing in society will be able to harness all the power and strength of other people to challenge you. That is a part of their strength.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 07:48 PM
10

I think it's fine for men to appreciate women and think about them sexually in public. But you should act normal, the point is to not give the woman any sexual pressure if you don't have to. For women, sexual violence is always a possibility when interacting with men, in a way that men don't think about when interacting with women. So women are just much more sensitive to unwanted sexual attention from men than vice versa. The more sketchy the situation (eg. late at night, not a lot of people ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 07:43 PM
0

If taking $30 from your mom makes you feel bad, then I don't know what I should be feeling... I leech off my parents so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 07:30 PM
1

Software engineer in a FAANG company
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 02:40 AM
1

Not sure about that, none of the kids that had stay at home moms turned out any better than those that had a career mom. If anything those that did have career moms turned out more well rounded and has more successful careers themselves (although I mostly attribute that to having 2 professional connections from mom and dad rather than just 1 source of connection from dad). Kids are pretty independent. As long as the parents are always there for the children when they needed them, kids are able t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 09:07 PM
5

I know 10+ guys making around $400k a year (pretty much all my coworkers because I work in a field where that's normal) and only 1 of them married someone that makes less than 6 figures.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:37 PM
3

If you mean emotional excitement of being with someone, kind of like "I'm excited to see him", then yes I would need that type of excitement to have sex or being in a relationship with someone. But that doesn't mean that much since being excited to see someone is a pretty basic thing though for anyone you like more than average. I'm excited to see good friends and family members too. It's not a sexual feeling, it's a baseline "like" feeling. If excitement means there's always adrenaline or heart…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 05:59 PM
5

High value means more than just money, but also not being financially responsible makes you not high value even in terms of finance. If you make a lot of money and invests none of it, I consider you to be poor. If someone doesn't care about your actual financial situation and only what you spend, they don't care about investing in you as a person, only what they can get you to spend on them right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 05:38 AM
5

Not having kids is probably the biggest factor in saving the most amount of money. Although the definition of being financially successful means having the money to fund the lifestyle you want, so if you want kids, or a more expensive lifestyle, you need to make more money to hit the financially successful threshold. DINKs are probably going to be the richest assuming similar incomes with their peers. Sharing expenses can be really efficient. But living with parents and not spending any money on…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 04:38 PM
2

Some people desire children and reproducing more than others. From a selfish perspective, other than the enjoyment you get from raising and interacting with your children, once you're dead it doesn't matter if your genes live on or not. You won't be here to reap any benefits from that. But because of how reproduction works, many people that's alive today have some kind of instinct to reproduce and it makes them happy in not necessarily a rational way, but that's fine. Have kids if it makes you h…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 11:55 PM
–

I don't think most people care if Jesus is a real person, I think they care if he's magic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 04:09 AM
2

Leaving is one way of setting boundaries. You probably have a sense if something would require the other person to change significantly, or something that's easy to change and it wouldn't bother them much. I also don't like to change people significantly, if a person has to change too much for me we're both better off finding someone more compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 06:18 AM
1

Take a shot at B, if it doesn't work or you get bored of it / burnt out, then go back to A. Even if you're not one of the most impactful people ever, you might still accomplish a lot while trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 04:56 AM
1

Got it, yeah I definitely don't think men as a whole are unable to be in touch with their emotions. I think both my brother and husband probably has higher EQ than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 11:32 PM
0

That's true, you're not actually nice in this scenario. But you're not getting rewarded at work based on how nice you are. You're getting rewarded based on how much you can get done, which may include having connections and goodwill with a number of people and leveraging it at the right moments. Your manager isn't going to promote you just for baking cookies and complimenting everyone if you can't get things done when needed. Your manager probably doesn't care about if you're actually nice deep …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:43 PM
2

I'm not sure if you're purposely misreading what I wrote. But if someone just cannot give you what you need from them, even if it's just their nature or upbringing they can't control, and that thing is important to you, then yes it's not the best idea to date them. The "them" in this situation are defined as men that are emotionally stunted below the threshold where he can't meet your emotional needs. Also, not wanting to date someone doesn't mean you hate them. It just means it's not a fit for …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:37 PM
10

I'm aware of the conditioning men go through to and how they sometimes have difficulty expressing emotions or open up vulnerabilities. That's not usually malicious or the guy's fault, but can still it difficult to get through to them, and you might not get what you need from them so if high emotional connection and support is important in a partner, they're not the best people to date. But usually when someone cares about you, you can feel even when they're emotionally repressed. They will find …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 05:42 PM
1

If your definition of beauty is how much other people on average find you attractive, then yeah you need other people to determine that. But often you can still appreciate and like how you look apart from your ability to attract other people. I have always liked and appreciated how I look since I was a child, but I wasn't interested in attracting anyone until mid to late 20's.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 04:57 PM
1

Sounds like the child's got it figured out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:22 PM
1

No, but I do like looking at myself in the mirror sometimes. I also do it when I feel overwhelmed. Being in my parent's presence calms me down, and I happen to look like a mix of my mom and dad, so looking at myself soothes me in a way. Also it makes me think "you don't need mom and dad to help you with this, you can do it yourself because they're a part of you". It's cheesy af but it works.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:14 PM
3

My brother has literally cursed out my mom, called her names and then attempted to pull her hair Omg if my brother tried doing that he would be dead in 2 seconds. Misogyny exist and my brother and I definitely had different standards growing up. But disrespect (especially physical violence) from a son towards his mom is SO not tolerated in my family. My mom definitely disciplined me more. But my dad would discipline my brother more. I was fine with that... my dad's much scarier when he yells...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 10:55 PM
1

I think early on when nothing is that serious and dating guys are cool and exciting, it feels cool to show off a really hot guy and get kudos. But after a while that gets stale, eventually everyone move on from just trying to get a thrill from dating, to looking for real companionship / partnership, to building a warm family. Even if you never move on for some reason, if your friends are at a different stage in their lives, they stop being impressed by how hot the guy is, because what they value…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 10:43 PM
–

Remember feminism is a much older and mature organization than any men's groups. Their ideas have been around and mainstream for a lot longer. Early feminism received a lot of pushback, and there was a whole thing about how "good" women don't want to vote and such. Starting on reddit and the internet is a good start. I believe men's issues are more visible now than they were 10 years ago when the idea of men hurting as a group was unbelievable. The problem with having your whole movement on the …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 05:24 AM
–

A lot of what you say make sense, being a man have many of its own problems. As with any group, we tend to focus on our own problems first before attending to other groups. I was very sheltered from many issues women face, so it's easy for me to have the mental downtime to think more about problems affecting other groups. I don't think men should depend on feminism to fight for equality. Feminism doesn't advocate for men the way men need to be advocated for. Both men and women have a bag of issu…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 11:35 PM
2

It's a personal preference. I used to nerd out with my friends all the time in high school and college on stuff we're studying. I just like that feeling. I think practically having 2 specializations in the house is better than having both partners be good at the same thing. My parents had very different professions and it was great that we had multiple experts in the house. But I just like relatable people. I guess I should add good emotional intelligence to the list too so he's got the common s…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 07:23 PM
6

At this point it's just a matter of who I like more and who I feel happier and more comfortable building a life with. Normally this comes to me quite easily based on intuition, but if I were to break down how I would think about it, I would think about the following: - Who share similar interests with me and I can have more fun hanging out with / playing with? - Career and future career prospects, I tend to prefer people that works in similar fields as I do because I find them more relatable and…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 06:45 PM
3

I see your perspective and I know most men are trying to help women in good faith and isn't trying to do harm. But I'll share some perspective from the woman's side too. There is a flip side of this dynamic for women, which is being only valued for her sexuality or only having sexual value. While men worries about wanting to show value, women are often worried about not having any value outside of... just being female. There's a lot of historical trauma women as a whole has on this, and most wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 07:28 AM
30

I'm not a guy but I grew up with a lot of guys and watched them grow up and go through romantic experiences and have a theory on this. I feel like compared to girls, guys don't feel as strong of an inherent sense of sexual worth. Many women feel some sense of sexual worth (objectification or ONLY having sexual worth is a thing but a separate issue to this) just for being female. Men don't seem to have the same confidence in their sexual worth just for being male. Many men I see have some kind of…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 06:48 PM
2

Depends on the personality of the girl. I do have many friends that seem to want a pretty high level of interest from the guy early on. I think women tend to get a lot of attention from men at a young age, so someone showing a small amount of interest might not register compared to other source of interest. I am someone that warms up slowly and don't show a very high level of interest at the beginning too. Because I can't be that interested in a relative stranger no matter how promising initial …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 05:34 PM
3

I would be ok with no sex for the rest of my life. I have a below average sex drive though. I was fine not having sex for the first 28 years of my life and it didn't bother me then. Being able to have sex with someone I like is better than being banned from having sex, but it's not going to be that much of a dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 04:18 PM
1

I can survive fine by myself, but I'm not a lone wolf. I like having people around to help me but also it's nice to help others. Even if you don't absolutely need it to survive, you can still enjoy other people's company. Plus no matter now much the government helps you (and it doesn't help that much), you still need help in life. Maybe you're a bit a bit sick and want someone to make some food for you or run to the pharmacy. You need forgot something important before a presentation and need som…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 06:50 PM
1

1 - Definitely, before the age of 26 I probably met a bunch of guys that would be the right person, but I wasn't interested in dating. No matter how great they are, it's not going to matter if we're not on the same page. I don't believe in one true right person. There are many people in the world that is compatible with you and you'll be happy with, the one you end up with is mostly luck. Think of how circumstantial each encounter is, the smallest decision will steer you away/towards someone. If…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 05:22 PM
1

There's definitely pros and cons of being alone and being with other people in general. I was just giving reasons why you would be in a relationship if you're happy alone. Being a part of a group (including a group of 2) means you'll have to take care of other people sometimes, it's not always you getting something. I take care of my family if they're sick, and a spouse becomes a part of your family. Your family also takes care of you though. But yes, moving as a couple rather than an individual…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 05:08 PM
–

I don't think society idealize people from bad homes. I have never heard anyone preferring someone from a bad home unless they themselves are kind of traumatized or have some kind of mental disorder.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 07:51 AM
4

That's fine, it sucks for the other person but at least you tried your best to be honest and was dating in good faith. I have a friend that changed her mind about wanting kids 3 years into a marriage, and that sucked for her husband but she wasn't trying to deceive. That's just bad luck, and sometimes we get unlucky like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 05:58 AM
7

True, but at least you have a better chance at it than people that didn't want it in the first place. That's what dating is for, to figure out if this person would be a good spouse or parent. When dating for marriage or to find someone to have a child with, we usually look for more than just "does this person want marriage / to be a parent". Wanting it doesn't make you a good candidate, but not wanting it almost always mean you'll be a bad candidate.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:18 AM
–

I'm pretty sure the housing crisis is because of speculative purchasing and people like my aunt owning like 9 investment properties.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:10 AM
23

Guys, you don't have to justify why you don't want to get married. Just communicate what your stance is at the beginning and you won't be doing anything wrong. Marriage is a big deal, it's a legal merger of two people. You become one legal entity when you used to be two. Based on how many people talk on here, they absolutely should not get married unless they fundamentally change what they want. I can't in good conscience try to convince anyone that doesn't want to get married to get married mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:07 AM
3

Usually things are easier with 2 people. Adding another person adds another layer of complexity that you can't control, but many things in life adds complexity and you can't control it. It shouldn't be that hard to work together in a team of 2, you've been doing it since kindergarten. Your parent's jobs are pretty much to take you from a small child that can only handle simple things, and need others to control their environment as to only the amount they can handle, to a competent adult that ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 10:11 PM
1

Listen to their concerns and take them seriously. Also just ask them what I can do to make them feel safer. Trust is built over time, and if he finds me trustworthy over time that's great, if he can't, then I won't push him to trust me beyond his comfort level.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 06:30 AM
1

I wouldn't only date someone at their peak because people are only at their peak for a relatively short time in their life. If you date young, lots of people are going to be in the middle of improving themselves and growing, including me. But I would look to date someone with potential and has a good foundation to work off of. Someone who I can respect as he is now. Even in high school and college, you can tell how smart, disciplined, and ambitious people are. I consider myself to be doing prett…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 07:16 AM
–

I don't like promiscuous men so sleeping around casually would be a dealbreaker by itself. But ignoring that fact, it would be a turnoff for guys to talk badly about other girls in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 11:08 PM
0

I like feminine looking and acting men, that's just my taste. Their soft aesthetic make them seem kinder, more youthful and playful. A clean look also seems more classy and lean more intellectual rather than uses strength for everything. Especially in Asian countries, rough and hypermasculinity can be associated with low class while someone that's soft and less violent is associated with high class.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 10:21 PM
3

Take all factors into considerations and make a call. There's no rule that will work for everyone, we often need to look into the details of the relationship and judge them individually. Most adults should be able to do this amongst themselves. You're a team of 2 people with a list of things to do (make money, house hold chores, running errands, managing finances and logistics, child caring etc.), divide it up fairly based on how much each person can handle.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 06:01 PM
–

No, personality incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 06:29 PM
1

I was never manipulated, but I can totally believe that someone that's reasonably smart would be manipulated over their entire dating experience since you start dating when you're young and stupid. I think most people are good, so most men try to be honest and a good person, pure evil people that don't care about your wellbeing at all are uncommon. But most people are in the dating market long enough in their lifetime that even an unlikely possibility can happen at least once. I have a few thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 06:25 PM
1

I don't think it's normal to exclusively encounter women that only wants you for money. If that's happening I think something else is going on. But if you want or don't mind trading money for affection, you can do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 08:13 PM
1

Most jobs are demanding, but few that demanding that it takes up all your time. I know investment bankers, doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs that work very hard. Very few of them are one dimensional and sacrificed so much that they were unable to keep a healthy life outside of work. I have seen first hand my brother having his ups and downs when he was working on his start up (now a unicorn / worth more than $1 billion). There were weeks where he couldn't do anything except work and skipped christ…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 08:10 PM
1

All my rich friends and coworkers were just nerds and loved messing with computers (mostly playing games) and just naturally studied computer science and now making half a million dollars a year. How much you make depends so much on luck and if you happened to study / naturally good at a skill in demand at the time. But yeah, it's not normal to spend all your time working. Very few jobs are actually that demanding. If you lived your entire 20's just focused on work and school, then you're probab…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 06:47 PM
1

It depends on how hard he works. Basically you both have one pool of work (making money and house work / raising kids), and you divide it as fairly as you can. If making money is extremely difficult and you work 12 hour shifts and weekends, then the housework and child rearing is likely to be easier. If you just work a normal 8 hour day in the office like me, then at least in my experience it's not that bad. Also depends on if you have help with the kids, how many kids, how difficult are the kid…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 06:40 PM
3

Successfully got a mentee a job at the company I work at. Since we've been hiring very little and had a layoff earlier in the year, I'm actually pretty proud that he got the job. I referred him, helped him draft the resume, did mock interviews, got coworkers that worked on what he wanted to do to give him advice and network with him. This has been kind of a dream job he's been looking at for a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 06:20 PM
2

No
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 05:22 PM
0

That's because we use the word love too freely. There's almost no way you can really love someone without knowing them for a significant amount of time. What people are feeling is lust or initial obsession (because this person fills a specific need like cure your loneliness) that first pulls them together and makes them spend more time with each other, then love develops over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 01:40 PM
17

I don't think I would be able to date an autistic guy. I had an autistic friend a while ago, and tried to understand what it's like. I know it's difficult and tiring for autistic people to communicate to people that don't fully understand them, and a lot of the quirks and frustration comes from the fact that it consistently takes so much effort to conform and communicate with people that just don't get you. But that works in reverse too, if I want to be a good partner and communicate well with a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 08:44 PM
1

The job market in the past year or so have been terrible (at least for some industries), but all those no's mean nothing the moment you get a yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 05:54 PM
1

Political leanings have almost nothing to do with dating itself. Politics isn't designed to give you a blueprint for dating. Most political topics have nothing to do with dating. At most it touches some relevant topics on LGBT and abortions, but no political party is going to give you dating advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 05:48 PM
2

Men can be feminine if they want. I prefer slightly feminine men honestly. There are both masculine and feminine men just like there's both masculine and feminine women. You can find and date someone that fits the masculine description and you respect, but you shouldn't expect all men to fit themselves into that mold just because that's what you would prefer. Also, a lot of this stuff isn't really a masculine or feminine thing, it's just a good/bad thing. Manipulating someone into sleeping with …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 04:36 PM
1

I say that to new grads struggling to find a job all the time. They get pretty easily discouraged and depressed when they can't find a job for a few months for get rejected from a handful of interviews, but you just need 1 job offer out of thousands. Almost everyone can find a job eventually if they keep trying, they just get mentally depleted before their pool of opportunity actually gets depleted.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 04:10 PM
–

I agree that college tuition is way too inflated, but I did enjoy the college experience. I study best when there's a deadline, it was great studying, playing, and pulling all nighters with friends that turn into future coworkers / professional network. It's never been about just learning stuff. When it comes to hiring, I totally believe self learning can work just as well, but sometimes it's important to enjoy your education and make friends as well as learn stuff for your own sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 05:54 AM
–

It's true that everyone wants to feel like they're getting something back in any relationship. No one should be in a relationship where they feel like they're constantly giving with little reciprocation. But I feel like too many people are overly concerned about caring too much at the beginning. I always give my full effort up front, and if I don't feel reciprocation then stop quickly. It doesn't matter if short interaction I put in a bit more than they did. I got invaluable information on the t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:26 AM
7

I've never seen any pick mes or NLOGs in real life. Maybe one, but even then she fits the definition of really really want to be picked / liked by guys, she gets super depressed when she doesn't have a boyfriend or a guy interested in her, behaves very feminine and helpless but she expects princess treatment beyond anyone else I know. I think I had a NLOG phase though, and it's not about liking guys romantically or sexually. In fact, liking guys was one of the thing I thought "other girls" did s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 05:46 PM
1

I know I get along best with around people my age. I date one year younger or 4 years older than me. I like my relationships to be as natural as possible, meaning we should still get along great even if it was 100% platonic. I rarely have any platonic friends with that much of an age gap, so it doesn't make sense to date romantic friends with that age gap either. I also respect age a lot, so I naturally give more respect and listen to people older than me, and I feel more authority and responsib…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 03:16 AM
1

No, I married my first boyfriend. Didn't even have crushes before that (except on fictional characters).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 06:00 AM
2

Around the same or more than me, so that would be a lot more than 100k. I'm in a social circle where that's common though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 05:51 AM
1

Fischer's principle pushes most people towards a sex ratio of 1:1 at reproductive age. Male are born at just a slightly higher ratio than females because in the past many males don't make it to reproductive age because young men constantly fought in wars or did more dangerous things.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 05:49 AM
–

19ish, when I talked to this guy about issues men face. We talked for a pretty long time and first time I really thought about intersexual dynamics. After that I didn't really think about it too much until 26 when I started dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 05:36 AM
–

I would love to win the lottery too, but I probably won't stop working. I'll just work on stuff that I actually like rather than what makes the most money. I took months off work before, it gets kinda boring around the 3 month mark for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 05:33 AM
2

No, because one, I want to date someone making around the same money as I do or higher. Two, I grew up almost exclusively around white collar people and nerds. I wouldn't be too compatible with someone that works in a much different environment. It's not impossible for it to work, but just unlikely.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 06:35 PM
1

If she's 30 and works in tech. She probably makes way more than that in TC assuming she started her tech career when she graduated.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 07:08 AM
3

Most nerdy stuff minus comic books, tech, games, specific sports that I play. I socialize ok with most people. It's hard to just list what I like to talk about, often I like listening to topics I don't know about and learn. But I know if I'm enjoying a conversation/having fun, or if I'm being irritated and just want to leave. Some people just have personalities and mannerisms that rub you the wrong way, not really their fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 12:47 AM
5

Men makes up 50% of the population. Although there are inherent differences that makes it much more likely to make friends with someone of the same gender, going through life not making any friends of the opposite gender is weird. A normal woman have some male friends but more female friends and are emotionally closer to her female friends. A woman having no male friends, or majority male friends would be kind of weird. I'm using weird not as an insult but just to describe deviation from the nor…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 11:20 PM
1

Events they went to like Coachella, basketball games, dances I don't know about, shows I don't know about, travel stories, drinking stories, celebrities. The way they talk also kind of annoy me, very positive about everything but too much. It's a nice mood lifter sometimes but I don't want to keep up with that mood all the time. Honestly all of these aren't bad in small doses, but they don't stop even when I clearly can't contribute to the topic and I'm just waiting for them finish talking most …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 10:51 PM
2

Just scams messages
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 04:44 PM
25

Incompatibility. Someone can be great for someone else but not me. My friends married attractive guys with great personalities that brings life to any social gathering. But after talking to them for 15 minutes I'm absolutely sure I wouldn't be able to tolerate them long term. The topics they talk about are stuff that I have no interest in, and our personalities fundamentally clash. They're still great people that I trust and makes my friends very happy, I just won't want to live with or interact…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 04:42 PM
1

I think both happens. The people I know were definitely in category A though. The people in category B sleep around with more people than they would've liked to, but it's not the same frequency as category A.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 06:33 PM
–

I would obviously not like it if men didn't desire me at all and they're actively annoyed or threatened when talking to me. But I also don't like how it is today when men think too much about women and sex. I prefer it if men just treat me like a friend, and only date me if he likes me genuinely rather than just because I'm a girl. ​ You see a cute guy at the mall and you think about talking to him I think the thing is if I see a cute guy at the mall, I really wouldn't consider talking to him. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 10:48 PM
5

I also treated dating like learning a new system or game. I'm a woman and was a virgin until 28. I didn't read any books though since books and online discussions never correlated with behaviors in real life. I think online people only talk about the worst of dating and not "normal" dating experiences. I just observed each dating instance and collected as much data as possible, came up with my own hypothesis and tested them. I had spreadsheets and stuff. I know it was kinda frustrating at the ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 06:17 PM
1

Going out of your way to do something means changing your behavior to something you would normally not do. If the guy normally go swimming in a banana hammock, then if I wasn't ok with that why would I start dating him? But if he normally swims with a shirt off and I knew that's just how he dresses, I can't be upset just because that will get other girl's attention. Your clothes can invite attention, but everyone's got a different style, and some people's style attracts more attention than other…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 05:36 PM
0

If you're going out of your way to make others attracted to you in a relationship, then obviously that's bad. But you can't expect someone to go out of their way to minimize how much random people are attracted to them either. Like if you're a hot guy and go swimming without a top, chances are some girls are gonna be attracted. You can't just expect him to stop swimming topless if that's always been his swimsuit.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 06:38 PM
3

It's fine to have these preferences. But it's easy for people to judge you for it specifically because a few items on there are "bad at X" type of thing. It's always a bit weird to be attracted to someone specifically because they can do something. Not caring if she can assemble furniture is more normal, being specifically attracted because she can't assemble furniture is weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 06:13 PM
0

So if a guy is attractive, we would call him provocative if he go swimming without a shirt but not an ugly guy? What about an ugly girl that shows a lot of skin? If your SO is attractive, there will always be people attracted to them regardless. Can you see why it comes across as controlling or insecure if care so much about minimizing how many other people would be attracted to your SO? Especially most of the time it's just a sparing look?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 12:13 AM
–

That's fine, I don't want most people I know to know I comment here either. I don't think I said anything terrible, and if they know it's not the end of the world, but it's still kinda weird. Privacy is important.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 09:28 PM
–

When someone is upset, what they tell you isn't always what they really think. Often if you piss someone off, they will try to say something they know will get to you, or something they know you're insecure about. They don't have to believe it, they just want to do emotional damage to you. Since we're already insecure about the topic and believe it's true ourselves, it's easy for us to believe that's what they really think too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 09:16 PM
–

When I walk around town I don't actively look at people. I only have enough peripheral vision on so I don't bump into people. Normally I'm in my own head thinking about stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 08:01 PM
-4

Not really, I mostly don't ask out guys because I don't have to. I'm pretty shy in general and don't like to be proactive in any social situation, but I made myself be proactive anyways in stuff like making new friends and networking with coworkers because I had to. When it comes to dating, I don't do it because I can get away with it. If guys weren't so proactive, I'm pretty sure I would've tried to ask some guys out and be more proactive in general, I did it for everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 10:37 PM
2

Either ask before / at the start of the date if she's ok with splitting, or do it when the bill comes. Most normal people will do it if you ask, some women won't go on a second date because of it, but some won't mind. And if you care that much, I assume you won't want to date girls that would break up with over it to begin with, so it's not really a loss on your part.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 05:49 PM
2

I don't like anything to an extreme. So I wouldn't want to date anyone that's too unattractive or too poor. Basically average for both is fine (although my definition average is what is average in my social circle and not average for the whole population, which I think is fair since it's attainable for me).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 05:30 PM
–

It means I like to play with any new tech, doing random coding /raspberry pi - ish projects, and just playing with cool toys. I also like to game a lot and watch anime, basic nerd stuff. I also like big cities and that type of energy. Building a racing sim is really cool and shows you're talented, but I didn't get that you're into this stuff at all from your original profile. Why don't guys put clearly cool stuff on their profiles?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 11:18 PM
–

Looks good. It gives me an idea of your personality and preferences. I'm not super compatible with you since I'm more of a tech/nerd type of person than a cozy/garden type of person. But if I was compatible with you this would be enough for me to want to know you better, assuming everything else matches what I'm looking for too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 10:31 PM
5

This is something you can think about if you're struggling with dating. But for most people, dating kind of happens naturally with people around them. Most people you hang out with are within 5 years, especially if you're younger where most of the dating happens. I barely have friends that are 5 years apart from me, any older I treat them like mentors, any younger I treat them like mentees. If 90% of the people you hang out with are around your age anyways, it's easier to find someone your own a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 04:47 AM
–

My parents just waited in line for us. It's totally worth it to me now, but often the quick passes are just as or more expensive than the ticket itself and feels like such a rip off. If you plan it properly you can often plan around when the lines are going to be longest. For example, go early for the popular rides with long lines. I don't think I have the patience for it now, but didn't mind it as a teenager.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 09:19 PM
–

Well they were pretty desperate and talked about guys all the time. One of them was on the verge of paying like $30k for a match making service. I have guy friends that were a lot less desperate that would obsess over each single girl he meets, with not much success. I think men just tend to do that since it's more socially acceptable for guys to chase or something, but I don't think I ever saw a good result from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 07:56 PM
–

Some anxiety is normal, but given most interactions will end platonically, it's best to treat it as a normal interaction as much as possible. You want your ideal interaction with your future gf to not be anxious anyways, and if the only way you can get her is to be on your best behavior and not do anything wrong, that's going to be too much to keep up. If someone is interested in you, one or two moments of awkwardness or saying dumb things won't mess it up. You can be very anxious and treat ever…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 07:53 PM
–

I get you want to grab onto every opportunity, but that's not good for you and give you extra stress for no reason. It can also muddle your judgement. It should be normalized that most interactions between a single man and single woman ends platonically. Putting that much stake in every interaction is creating a unrealistic expectation that will wear you down, and dull your senses to interactions that actually have potential. I think this is a thing that men does more than women. I've known some…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 07:19 PM
4

I'm wary of men from broken homes too. People that went through a lot of trauma are more likely to dump that trauma on someone else. It's not their fault, but it doesn't matter if it's their fault if I'm suffering for it. There's a lot of people that turn out well from broken homes too, you just need to do a bit more investigating and maybe have your guard up a little. I have learned from experience that I don't have the ability to deal with or soothe a lot of emotions that comes from family tra…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 07:43 PM
–

2X people seem very defensive and hurt, and very quick to jump to the worst interpretation of men in any situation. I don't think they represent most people at all. I think it attracts a certain group of people that has trauma and wants to vent to other women about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 07:26 PM
–

I don't mind if someone becomes friends with me first. I think it's necessary for some people if their best traits are their personality or things I wouldn't otherwise be able to know about if they cold approached or if I only know them for a short while. Just don't wait for more than a few months, since if I don't like you I expect the friendship to end or impacted somehow, so it hurts more when a friendship that's longer ends.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 07:23 PM
–

First we have to realize that there's an inherent unequalness in this situation where one person can physically become pregnant and the other cannot, even though both are equally responsible for the pregnancy. Forget about prolife arguments for a bit and let's assume that pregnancy is purely an unwanted state for both the mother and the father. The party that has to be pregnant would naturally (without medical intervention) have to be burdened with significantly more if a pregnancy does happen. …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 07:37 PM
3

That's more having friends / family introduce you rather than a blind date. My parents were set up like this, and my grandma / parents tried to set me up with dates too. Overall I think it works well for introverted people trying to find other introverted people. You usually get to see a picture, know their family history etc. The funny thing is you usually know 10X more about their parents/family than them before you meet them. At least in cases where your family sets you up. There can be some …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 05:03 AM
1

Based on your example of RPQ, I ever dated anyone that fit that description. Most people I date are within the normal range when it comes to physical attributes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 07:20 PM
4

Men also don't like breaking up even when there's no marriage. I feel like guys stay in relationships they hate way longer than girls even when there's no financial incentive. My brother stayed with his first girlfriend for a really long time even when she started being very verbally abusive. It was very strange, all his friends knew how she talked to him (I only found out because my brother suddenly had to leave his dota game and asked me to fill in so his team had a chance, and all his friend …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 05:38 PM
1

No, but another Asian country.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 04:48 PM
1

I think most relationships that happen this way are ok. Most girls in less developed countries are rather savvy and less naive when it comes to this stuff anyways. There is just a heightened risk for sketchy things in some countries. The country where my parents immigrated from, I know you can pretty much get away with running someone over on the street if you can pay the fine or bribe the police enough. So while in the US sketchy things happen, the potential sketch factor goes up a lot in count…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 04:37 PM
1

In those cases where the women are not in such dire situations I'm not that worried. There definitely are women that date foreigners for basic necessities. I'm not saying women in the US can't be in dire situations, just like women in the US can marry up too. But overall I'm more worried about the potential of abuse in less developed cou tries where starving to death is more of a real possibility. If you are going to be a poor/vulnerable woman, you definitely prefer to be in a rich and developed…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 07:52 AM
5

I never really had problems with guys dating girls from other countries. The only concern I have is that here's a higher probability of the relationship being exploitive because that happens whenever there are really desperate people. In developed countries there are also desperate people, but it can only go so bad because of good social safety nets. But if it's going to happen, I would prefer more people to know about it. Generally anything that can potentially be abusive or sketchy is better w…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 04:32 AM
–

Oh, yeah I didn't realize you're trolling, it's kinda hard to tell especially here. I fall for sarcasm and trolling an alarming amount in real life too. I don't think I was the person you word vomited to though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 04:26 AM
–

That's like saying if a girl is hot enough she doesn't have to be clean or hygienic either. If anyone's hot enough they'll find people that's willing to put up with anything they do. In that case the less hot party is actually the one paying for sex with expecting less than from a normal roommate or friend. If you're a normal person, that should be irrelevant to your dating life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 04:16 AM
–

Those are things I expect from a roommate...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 04:08 AM
–

Didn't take the quiz, but I'm pretty sure I'm secure. I'll be very surprised if I'm not.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 10:35 PM
–

Yes, but maybe I will succeed. There's no guarantee of success either way, but my point is your brain automatically goes to "maybe I won't succeed" vs "maybe I will succeed". Humans in general tend to calculate the chances of failure and the consequence of failure to be higher than it actually is, so they don't always make the right decision vs the safe decision. Most times there's almost no real consequence to trying. Time wasting is not that big of a deal. Does it feel bad that I dated someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 06:14 PM
–

Obviously I don't know the details of what happened in those years, but you're probably reacting to that in a more extreme way than you should. I never got into a relationship or had sex until I was 28. From 26-28 I was also actively trying, like I had an active dating plan and taking notes on what went well / not well after dates. The entire time I never thought that no one liked me, I just thought that I haven't met the right person yet, because the world is so big and I can only meet so many …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 05:47 PM
–

Because it's probably not as scarce as you think it is. Your brain is wired to think stuff is more scarce / your situation is worse than it actually is.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 05:35 PM
–

Optimists tend to be more successful than pessimists regardless. The thing is that humans tend to be more risk adverse than we should be, because in the past being a pessimist is more beneficial. Taking a bad risk has a higher consequence, like death. Now messing up might just mean be embarrassed, or you get fired from your job, where in a first world country you can't even starve to death. My parents used to tell me whatever you think your situation is, the reality is that it's probably a bit b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 05:27 PM
2

Love does kind of happen for a lot of people, they just live their life and they find someone naturally, like making friends in school. Many people don't put too much thought or effort into it. But not everyone is like that, including me. I think a lot of people say not to actively search for love because often a relationship you find when desperate will be worse than not having a relationship at all, and if you're taken by someone that's not a good match for you, someone that is a good match wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 05:17 PM
5

Fit isn't rare lol. Walk into any 24 hour or La fitness. Then what's the problem? Date one of those girls. ​ This is mathematically flawed. The smaller a pool of potential candidates the less choice and less chance you have of matching. No, because matching requires both sides to say yes. If you also fit their criteria in their small pool, the chances of both of you saying yes is higher than if both of you have a big pool because the chances of the other party saying yes to you specifically is n…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 12:03 AM
3

You can go to Asia if you want. But regardless of how small your pool is, if you're desirable within that pool, it won't be a problem. Fit girls don't want to date obese men either, so if you want to date a fit girl and you're fit yourself, you eliminate 73% of your competition. If you're fit, you benefit from the rarity of being fit just like the fit girls do. When I was dating I was looking for an attribute where probably only 1% of men have, but it was not a problem because I was also top 1% …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 10:55 PM
1

Yes. A lot of women here did point out a lot of negatives to that, and it doesn't take away from women's issues or the power that men have. But there's definitely some power here. Men in general like helping women, not only because of a sexual desire. I feel like men just like helping women even if they don't have any sexual or romantic interest in them. Maybe it has to do with being able to feel strong or taps into our collective desire to help those we think are weaker. Men also have a strong …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 10:45 PM
1

Sure, why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 10:30 PM
1

I think this is a good description of self esteem. I think the list of things to do to increase self esteem is definitely easier said than done, but it would help. I think the most impact thing is #2, build positive relationships and to have others believe in you and affirm you, which will naturally lead to #1 and #3. It's a tough problem but I think you described the problem well.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 10:15 PM
1

Yeah, culturally and personality wise I'll be more compatible with someone more academic. And I had a separate income standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 07:22 AM
3

I'm looking for potential marriage partners. Here are some basic standards I look for initially. - Good moral character, he doesn't like to hurt people and is generally kind. Won't do bad things to others just so he gets a bit of bit of benefit from it. Considers other people's wellbeing in general when making decisions. - Makes around the same as me or more - At least college educated - No previous divorces, kids, or anything like that. - Has to come from a nice family, if parents are divorced …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 01:14 AM
–

I think if you actually try to join a knitting group, people would be super welcoming and willing to help since you'll be one of the few guys there.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 12:04 AM
–

Women do seem to be more attracted to other women than men are attracted to other men. I do find pretty girls attractive, but mostly aesthetically. I like looking at pretty women, but I don't have a desire to date them or have sex with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 06:16 PM
–

Depends on genetics. And attractive man can look his best with very little effort. Basic hair cut, t-shirt. For women, at the very least your hair is still harder to manage in the mornings even if everything else you have great genes in. Also because more women work on their appearance away from "natural", a lot of women need to put in at least a bit of work to meet that bar. While it's more tolerable for men to have more porous skin and more bushy eyebrows because other men aren't trying that h…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 06:12 PM
10

I thought about it, but I'm too shy to even introduce myself to a platonic social group that I want to join, so I wouldn't actually approach. I think approaching men is VERY effective, I've seen my friends use it to great effect. But I can't do it, it's just not in my personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:32 PM
18

Sometimes people look better / worse than they do in photos. I wouldn't immediately assume malice and I can't blame him for trying to look his best in a photo. But if his looks are so bad that I'm no longer attracted, then I would probably still finish the first date to be polite, make sure he doesn't pay for any of my stuff, and decline a second date.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:29 PM
8

Being soft isn't the same thing as depressed and mentally weak. It's just a personality and somewhat of a communication style. I like soft men and my husband is very soft. But I wouldn't be able to manage someone with a lot of mental trauma. In fact my husband is soft because he had a very good childhood and has very little trauma, so his behavior is cheerful, and he's soft because people in his life has always helped and comforted him when he is sad. I like it because it makes him very easy to …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:20 PM
4

That's actually true to some extent. The issue with being a woman was always that you have something inherently valuable (womb), and people will feed, keep you around, and even fight over that. But that makes it so that other potential opportunities and life paths are cut off. It used to be legally cut off, as in you actually had no legal rights to be anything else. Now that's resolved, so we're working trying to remove social conditioning or other blockers that might still get in the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 05:10 PM
–

I'm not really scared of rejection. I can take tons of rejection in online dating for example. But in a social situation, I'm too shy to even ask people to pass the salt, so no way am I approaching anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 02:14 AM
16

I think you're focusing too much on what is acceptable and other people. I was a virgin that didn't watch much porn. I had like a textbook biology understanding of sex and that's it. You could've told me any number of things were appropriate or not and I would've believed you. But it didn't matter what was normal and acceptable. I opened up and experimented based on what I wanted to do and at the pace I wanted to. I didn't care if it was something that everyone did, if I didn't want to do it, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 10:02 PM
9

It doesn't make sense in the vast majority of cases for anyone to support an ex for life. I heard in a lot of perpetual alimony cases, that was a deal made in exchange for something, like the husband keeping the house or something. I can see a case if she spent her entire life supporting him and didn't get a good education nor any significant work experience, then divorced at 50 where it would be very difficult to find a job. But even then, if assets are divided, she wouldn't get nothing. I thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 08:47 PM
–

When I was in high school, if a person we know works at some place we know, they'll be the coolest kid ever. Since they can help us get discounts or free stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 02:02 AM
–

Is this what you're seeing in real life? I know lots of VP's, partners, directors. All of them have wives that are doctors or VPs, or at least a professional degree that's making 6 figures.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 01:55 AM
–

No, the notion of innocence until proven guilty is there because the law limits the default freedoms and rights of people if you're found guilty. That is a serious consequence and we must err on the side of caution / give benefit of the doubt to the defendant. If it's a personal thing, I will consider the probability of that person's guilt, plus the potential harm that person can do to me if he is guilty, and act accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 04:43 AM
3

I took out no loans and studied computer science.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 06:47 PM
3

I don't know what your definition of HVM is, but I've seen plenty of average and below average women get into relationship with high earning men. There's many ways you can attract people, but having no other redeeming qualities except money is a thing that doesn't even work for men most of the time, and works even less often for women. Money and career is very important, but most well rounded, genuine people that are actually serious about you are going to care about more than just 1 thing about…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 08:08 AM
–

But we're not there yet, so people can still get away with it in the meantime.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 12:48 AM
–

Japan doesn't have the worst birth rate. South Korea is much worse and it's doing better than China. Japan is brought up more because of strange habits people (more so men) have as an alternative to dating that is newsworthy and interesting, not because of low birth rate itself. As for work culture, it definitely doesn't help. Globally as countries get richer and have access to more entertainment and information, people don't want to work the same way our parents do. We no longer have to work ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 10:45 PM
7

I don't think they put too much weight on it, if anything I feel like it's a bit overlooked. It probably won't do the most to get lots of male attention when you walk in a room, but if I had a daughter, I would tell her that getting her own socioeconomic class higher will realistically have the most impact on her marrying well. Obviously your job and career isn't everything. You can't just be like, I have a good job now date me regardless of other glaring flaws. Money isn't as impactful for wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 10:38 PM
15

The reality is that your socioeconomic status impacts who you marry a lot. If you are in a higher socioeconomic class, you are much more likely to marry someone that's also in a higher socioeconomic class. It gets results. Also at least in Asian countries, education is pretty important. Parents will almost always ask for the education of a guy's girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 10:11 PM
–

I think most people have fun memories before 30 because they reach most of their major milestones then. If you did all your schooling, had your first job / advancement in career, dated, married and had your first kid before 30 (which is quite common), then yeah you're going to have good stories then. If you drag your milestones out, you'll probably have good memories from all those ages. My grandma started a company after 60 when she retired from a corporate job. She remembered that when she was…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 05:24 PM
1

I don't know. I tend to talk about important things earlier on too. Most people take it well.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 10:34 PM
2

Female, not a parent. I would try to shield my kid from sexual stuff in general until around 12, I'll actively discourage it if they ask me about it before then. After that it depends how they behave. If they're growing up to be well adjusted people, then I won't bother them too much. I'll intervene if I feel like it's being harmful. I'll trust them to be responsible teenagers unless I see evidence to the contrary.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 09:12 PM
5

Maybe, but I think lots of people shame other people just to put them down just because they're mean or want to think they're better than other people too. Or if they're not happy about something themselves so trying to find unhappiness or the worst in others. Or sometimes people just have problems understanding that everyone is not them and project their own preferences onto other people, if they don't personally like a type of person, they just assume everyone else doesn't either. I'm sometime…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 09:05 PM
7

So I do think that women do hold sexual power and can do more damage than we think we can, and there's not a lot of education on how to manage it. A lot of sexual education was historically very limiting and oppressive to women, so people are rightly trying to not overstep here. However, physical strength a sexual desirability isn't very comparable, I get it as you trying to make an analogy, but we can't treat them the same. If we're in a room where I can't leave, assuming you're an average man,…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 01:33 AM
–

I know men that did that for holiday parties. Although I don't think they hired the girls, the holiday parties were cool and he just asked a girl if she wanted to go but they weren't dating. People just assume you're dating if you bring a +1 of the opposite gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:16 PM
3

Most wealthy men marry wealthy women or those from wealthy families. That and the fact that above a certain wealth level, more money doesn't make you happier than a good partner would. I wouldn't even know what I would do with a billion dollars if I got it tomorrow that would make me happier than my relationship with my husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 07:36 AM
–

He exited and started a new start up with one of his co-founders last year. They hired their 3rd employee in his new start up. All SWEs so far. Running into a bit of financing issue because of the economic environment though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:34 AM
–

I pay for my brother every time we go out too. He's younger and I made more money than him before so it made sense. Now his startup became a unicorn so his net worth is much more than mine now (although not all liquid), I need to start getting him to buy me food instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 11:05 PM
–

Yeah... unfortunately I had way too much time to think about it. I spent an unhealthy amount of time wondering if I would've been better off as a boy especially in my teenage years.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:16 PM
0

From personal experience, I feel like men put way too much emphasis my hobby of playing video games when they try to date me. They cared an unhealthy amount about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:04 PM
–

The basic buffs everyone knows: - More strength (good for both protection safety and just every day stuff like moving furniture around like a normal guy w/o having to calculate levers and angles and break out wheels / friction reduction surfaces, all luggages become relatively lighter) - Probably taller, can reach higher places - No period and annoyances/prep that comes with that - Not the one that has to be pregnant - Narrower hips, good for running. - Men are more tolerant to being dirty. Wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:01 PM
1

I mean, my stats as a woman is pretty good and I have no desire to mess with my base genetics to play life on hard mode. So I'm going to assume I will be born with similar stats as my brother. Although with the exception of 200 pounds and obviously I don't know how many inches he was, I have a coworker (very similar income to me) that fits those stats with a great wife that I became good friends with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:30 PM
1

I would be very happy if the wage gap is just because women are working different jobs and not just being paid less for the same job. I keep getting different takes on it. As for being pregnant, I think men should have the same parental leave as women. Most tech companies, which is mostly where I work have very similar maternal and paternity leaves. We literately just hired someone a couple of months ago and he's told us his wife is 4 months pregnant and he needs to go on pat leave in 5 months. …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:16 PM
1

Just ignore them. I know guys mid-20's who also live with parents, no ambition/ career/ dead end job. They also complain about not getting girlfriends. I let them do their thing and just don't bother them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:09 PM
2

I think I would enjoy being reborn as a man. I wouldn't want to turn into a man right now since most of my skills and mannerisms I learned over my lifetime was based on navigating the world as a woman. I think I would've made it work either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:04 PM
–

I don't know about you but literately everyone I know or grew up with would have a problem with their kid dating someone much older. The way society talks about it also makes it clear it's not something that is comfortable. Lots of bad things can happen between consenting adults and certain relationship dynamics are high risk, and making risky decisions tend to bother those that care about you. The age of consent is a legal line in the sand, one that we can throw someone in jail for. Lots of thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:02 PM
–

That's not how it works most.of the time. I make more than most people but work less hours and less hard than most people. It depends on the Jon and specialization. Different jobs are different, so how chores are divided up should be customized to be fair and reasonable to everyone in the relationship. If you think you're better or someone else should work harder than you just because you make more, that's kind of shitty. You said you think some women have no concept of how money is made, but I …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 08:35 AM
2

Both men and women are bothered by this. Most men that are not bothered are those that care more about the men than women in the relationship. Every man in my life that personally cares about me is against me dating older. Yes women do care about this and might be more vocal because women tend to be more vocal than men about any issue. But in reality women don't care more than men about it if you control for the people who actually thinks about the best interest of the younger woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:40 AM
7

Standards definitely can change. But for myself, 80% of what I like was rather solidified based on my upbringing including family and community I grew up in. There are stuff that never wavered. There's some stuff that can change, and I grew to appreciate or dislike certain qualities more as I got to know different people and got more life experience. Even though there is some flexibility there, it would still be impractical to try to change someone's taste. If it happen to change to your benefit…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:30 PM
1

People die all the time, but most of the time the whole world doesn't know about it and doesn't have a deadline or obvious short term solution to rescue them. I think it's nice that it's hard for the world to watch people obviously die when something can be done, it would be far worse if we were indifferent to this thing. We also put in a lot of effort towards those boys that were stuck in a cave. We're not doing this because there's a billionaire on board, it's because it's a very obvious rescu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 06:15 PM
1

It would be more concerning for humanity for everyone to know a group of people will be dying in less than 2 days and we all feel comfortable enough to sit back and do nothing. We do large scale rescue missions whenever anything becomes this publicized. Plus, millions of dollars isn't much money for a country. Countries easily hand out humanitarian aid worth a lot more regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 05:39 PM
1

Literally every guy I know would think that if they met a hot but uneducated woman. And none of them ever dated someone with no college degree so their actions match their words.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 04:16 PM
1

I'm #1 for both same sex and opposite sex. I do think most people are good and likable. If I don't like someone, it's very likely that it's because I didn't bother to get to know them. There are actually really bad people out there, or people that I can't like no matter what, but I think those people are pretty rare. I basically believe people are good unless they give me a reason to think otherwise. I feel like this world view benefited me a lot in life, both dating and non-dating. A lot of peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:41 PM
8

I completely agree with this. I don't know why anyone would want to force someone to be friends with them when the other person doesn't want to. If being friends with me makes him feel unhappy for any reason, he should stop. I can see how it could feel bad if it was like a 10 year friendship that I invested in a lot, and I lost it overnight because he asked me out. But if it's just a guy trying to be my friend for a couple of months and asks me out, that's at most a small inconvenience compared …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 07:22 PM
–

I'm not sure if men want relationships more than women, but I found men to be more romantic because they tend to initiate most romantic gestures. I do think men fall in love quicker though. Most men around me are very relationship focused, and almost all of them can get a date rather easily. But it's true that a desperate person may pretend to want whatever you want just to have a relationship with anyone. That's why I do recommend dating people that are not desperate and have at least some opti…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 09:16 AM
5

I don't enjoy sex with anyone I don't have a strong emotional and romantic connection to. I'm not against it morally, I just don't want or like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 05:57 AM
–

I might need a bit more to fully understand. I wonder if you can get into trouble if you had no ill intent, but signed a waiver saying "yes I understand there is a risk to this surgery and I accept the risk" on my behalf and I die from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 10:11 PM
–

In this case I think cold approach is a really bad idea. The less someone knows you personally, the more sensitive they will be to social cues and rely on social cues more. I don't know much about autism or can give advice to autistic people, but I don't think it's smart to do something that clearly plays on your weak side. Like someone else said, try warm approaches instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 09:39 PM
–

I don't think it's hard to get men to commit. Most men do want a family and commitment from women. Men are still the ones that do most of the proposing, and most of the moving relationship forward stuff like asking you to date them / be their girlfriend etc. I think the perception maybe comes from the fact that we have sex before commitment/marriage a lot these days. Women are also more adverse to casual sex than men. So for a lot of women, if she's willing to have sex with you, you probably alr…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 09:26 PM
–

What kind of obstacles? I don't know if I'm going down a complex legal rabbit hole, I'm just curious about the law if it's simple enough to explain here.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 09:09 PM
–

Like, if I died because he made a bad call. And they found out he lied that he was my husband, what happens?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 08:24 PM
–

Isn't that commiting fraud? Both my husband and I would never want to lie about stuff like that. He had to sign a bunch of documents. Approve medical procedures and authorize my insurance on my behalf.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 08:10 PM
–

Not in my experience, but we might live in different social circles so I don't have a good number. But the thing about supply and demand markets is that a small change has a huge effect. In countries where they are freaking out about too many boys because of selective abortions, there's only really a 6% difference, but the impact on society is significant. A pretty bad unemployment rate is like 10%. Small numbers matter here. I think maybe 50% of women are willing to participate in casual sex. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 08:04 PM
–

If we're talking about casual sex then it will naturally not be even. The number of women that wants casual sex is significantly lower than the number of men, so men are working from a numbers disadvantage. Of course it will be harder to get casual sex as a man, that's obvious since a lot of woman doesn't desire it and isn't participating in it, so of course the women that are will get their pick of the best men if we're only talking about casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 07:45 PM
–

Being injured or in the hospital really makes you appreciate your partner/family support. I was injured earlier this year and I passed out and even when I came to, I was in a lot of pain and it was great having someone else to take care of literately everything else in my life so I can stop and recover. I always considered myself very competent, but none of that matters when your brain stops working and you're so uncomfortable and don't want to think about anything. The husband legal benefit was…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 07:19 PM
–

I'm sure he used the rent to contribute towards the mortgage, but that's what happens with any renter and any landlord. I paid fair market rate, basically what other places close by are renting a room for. If rented to someone else, that would've been what he got, if I rented anywhere else, I would've contributed towards the landlord's mortgage. I have tenants too and I use their rent to pay my mortgage. I don't know why I should be concerned that he gained a bit from me vs some other tenant.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 06:34 PM
–

Yeah, he paid for any repairs and renovations and stuff like that. I might contribute ideas or help with logistics, but not financially. I don't want the money back if we break up. I didn't pay any mortgage, I paid rent. If we break up, I wouldn't have lost anything financially, and neither would he.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 06:23 PM
–

People can have their own arrangements that works for them. I think it's just simple to pay market rate rent to whoever owns. As long as we're not married I treat financial stuff similar to that of a good friend that I'm roommates with.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 05:58 PM
1

Those are workable numbers, because you're not picking someone at random. You have many chances to meet someone. 1/3 of people have mental health issues? That means 2 out of every 3 people I meet are mentally heathy. Keep meeting people until you find someone that fits your bill of healthy. 70% of people are overweight? Well if you meet 10 people, 3 people will be healthy weight, and out of those 3, 2 will probably be mentally healthy. The overweight thing is easier to filter out since you immed…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 04:44 AM
–

I would only overlook flaws for wealth if the extra wealth will make my life better than the flaws I have to deal with. Since I'm very financially comfortable myself, more money won't actually make me much happier. A life partner is very impactful on your life. How much fun and joy my husband brings to my life as a person probably can't be compensated for by additional money. So I like money, and when I dated, I had a relatively high standard for income, because I knew there were a lot of great …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 10:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter