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chalkandapples Archive

View 0 posts and 4,861 comments by chalkandapples on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Why wouldn't people like expensive vacations? Maybe they're not trying to be super novel or unique, they just like stuff that most people would and it's not that deep. You can tell someone you like to travel without implying that it's a better hobby than other hobbies. I like playing video games, I tell people that and wrote it on my dating profile because I wanted people to know what I liked, not because liking video games is by any means cultured or special. Traveling is probably a "better" ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 10:29 PM
6

Of course if you're not mainstream then don't do mainstream stuff or follow mainstream scripts. I think that's common sense? Honestly very few people are completely mainstream, almost no one should just follow a mainstream script. Take the advice that's applicable to you, come up with some of your own strategies based on what you know about yourself, and trial and error. There are some advice like grooming, showering, having women as friends that will most likely help, but you can't expect to tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 06:42 AM
–

All except E. I don't think I intentionally clean underneath my toenails. I take showers though and that does a good enough job.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 11:08 PM
2

I have no issues with it, bought one for him for his birthday before.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 10:32 PM
2

Nothing wrong with a stay at home dad if he pulls his weight. I know 2 SAHDs and they're great and do a lot, their wives appreciate them a lot. If you've proven yourself to be reliable, organized, good at childcare, and good at keeping on top of things, and if the mom makes enough money, usually there's no problem. The reason some women push back on the idea is because they probably have only encountered men that didn't do much domestic work so they can't imagine them actually pulling their weig…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:16 PM
1

Not sure, only 1 guy ever became my boyfriend, he insisted on paying for my ice cream first date. Second and third dates were free events and we each paid for our own food at the events. He offered a lot but generally didn't push back when I counter offered to split, so although he did offer to pay often, he didn't actually end up paying that much. I didn't track which ones got to a second date based off of paying or not for the ones that eventually didn't work out. There are a lot of other thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 07:31 AM
9

I offer to split every time, some of them refuse to let me pay, some of them let me pay. There was one guy who warned me ahead of time that the place we're going to is kinda expensive and made sure I was ok paying for myself. There's all sorts of guys out there, not all men are the same. I really don't care if a guy pays, but if I wanted to vet for it, I would have lots of information to go off of.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 08:42 PM
17

I think people are asking for clarification on if you're referring to a specific type of mistake. Like I messed up on an Google sheets formula and the numbers ended up wrong and we were working with wrong assumptions at work for like 3 months. Would that count? I also forgot school was out early one Friday and made the teachers stay longer because I didn't pick up my kid on time. I forgot Claude Fable is no longer free on the pro plan and used credits on it, it was my husband's account too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 08:41 PM
3

Most men and women want children. If you don't want children you need to date in the child free pool. However, I know a lot of men and they're all great people. I don't like to use high value, but a lot of men who you would consider high value are also emotionally intelligent and very responsible people. People that make good partners are responsible, and will not dump childcare onto the woman or just want to reproduce to win the game. Good husbands, the ones that want kids, will be extremely ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 08:11 PM
5

I know a lot of high earning women and 2 stay at home dads. Most high earning woman will definitely choose to marry a stay at home dad if they wanted children rather than doing the sperm bank thing. It's the better option for sure if you have a husband that will do what needs to be done. The 2 SAHDs I know are great and are great partners and father's, being with them is clearly better than just a sperm bank and nanny. The sperm bank thing is mostly telling single women to not date anyone just b…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/26 10:16 AM
3

I only stayed friends with 1 person I rejected. We stayed friends for a couple of years until I moved for work. I was aware he liked me, but he is very chilled and respectful about it. He found a girlfriend a while later so it was all good.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/26 09:55 AM
3

Not every nerurotypical person is good at this. EQ takes practice and life experience just like any other type of skill. Being nerurotypical means you don't have any biological roadblocks to learning this, but that doesn't mean you'll be naturally good at this if you never tried. As an analogy, most physically healthy person can learn to drive, but there are definitely healthy people that don't about about driving or always had others drove them so they never learned.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/26 06:48 PM
2

I don't pick up on flirting very often, which is why online dating works particularly well for me because it makes stuff like this obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 07:25 AM
1

By dating guys and finding patterns in how I feel vs how the guy acts.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 06:35 PM
1

If there's some solution for the situations I mentioned then I feel better about it. Society can't cover for every single less than ideal situation obviously. But if a parent is already mentally ready to abandon a child, then that's not a "non-ideal" situation, that's a pretty serious situation. As a society we already spend so much time and resources trying to rescue children from neglect and abuse, and now here's a parent literately giving you the biggest red flag ever. Do we have to wait unti…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 03:45 PM
1

I don't know how adoption of toddlers work. But I don't know if the buck should stop somewhere. Like if the parents don't want the kid that much to the point of actually wanting to drop them off to strangers, the kid has to be at pretty high risk of neglect or abuse if you force the kid to live with a caretaker with that mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 07:29 AM
1

But if a parent would actually drop off their toddler if they could, do we actually want those parents to keep the toddler? Feels like the toddler would have a worse life with someone when the only reason they're kept around is legality.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 05:35 AM
1

Personalities are difficult to change, it can be done but I don't recommend trying. But social skill is something that can be learned. You can't make yourself an extrovert if you're an introvert, but you can be good at talking to people and have decent charisma. I am a very extreme introvert, I used to freeze whenever people say Hi to me. When I first started working, I didn't even know what to do when a coworker walks up to me and said "nice to meet you". It wasn't until I saw another person sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 07:10 AM
–

There's 2 things at play here: The current social security structure depends on constantly having more people to take care of the current crop of old people. Given our current population, it's not sustainable. Constantly having an above replacement level birth rate is also bad. It's a bit pyramid scheme like and we need a better system. Birth rate declines when women gets educated and a choice because the current men and women dynamic makes it such that given free will, we don't want too many ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 08:35 AM
1

No, my parents mentioned divorce one time during an argument and I cried in the bathroom for like 2 hours and they never mentioned it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 07:48 AM
0

I visually cannot tell the difference between a SUV and a Minivan. Like I just looked up 2 images of them and if you didn't tell me which one is which, I couldn't tell you. Cars today all look so similar...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 07:45 AM
3

Then you should seriously look for someone that will make that happen. The thing is some people are well suited for being a home maker. Others are better suited for working outside the home. That's why some women want to be stay at home moms and others don't. What we needed was the freedom to choose. Also, wanting that lifestyle and the reality of that lifestyle is different. There are risks to clipping your wings and totally trusting someone else to carry you financially. I think most guys, eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:01 AM
1

I like the idea of approaching men. I think it's a good thing to be in control of who you choose to start a romantic connection with. I prefer to make an offer rather than waiting for someone else to make an offer, I feel more in control and I think you get better results that way. But I'm also very shy, and my desire for men just doesn't surpass my shyness. Whenever I think about approaching a man, my shyness takes over and I would rather not have a chance at dating than talk to a stranger like…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 06:42 PM
10

I don't think any woman is complaining that they have to cook, clean, and do laundry for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 02:47 PM
1

I don't think that's what most people mean when they talk about standards. Given that definition, it's impossible for anyone to have standards in relationships. Because no one is an authority figure over another person in the context of a relationship. Both parties are just a person, and don't have any authority over what is objectively valuable in another person.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:59 AM
3

Yeah, children used to have many caretakers. It's not normal for the parents to be the sole caretakers. I grew up in a very tight knit community, and everyone took turns taking care of kids. I was able to run around the neighborhood and knew every adult there. If I needed any help, I can go up to any adult and that felt really nice, your world was so big compared to what I see kids are like today. I have 3 kids now, and I feel like a lot of parents that don't want help is partially doing it for …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:53 PM
1

What's your definition of a standard and preference?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:56 PM
1

Standards have nothing to do with with your value. You having higher standards doesn't mean you have higher value, it's just what you need to start a relationship with someone. It's up to the other person if they want to date me, but what I need doesn't really change.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:20 AM
3

I don't know. I got what I want, just not immediately when I started dating. I had an idea of what I wanted when I started dating, and just never continued dating anyone if they didn't meet that standard. It took 2 years for me to meet the person that met all those standards, we've been married for almost 6 years now and everything has been great. If a year into dating I gave in and settled for someone else, I wouldn't have met my husband and that would've been tragic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:16 AM
2

Men are the best they've ever been. People in general are the best they've ever been really.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:11 AM
–

My husband and I have the exact opposite situation as typical couples I guess. His tolerance for a messy house and generally chores not being done is so much lower than mine. As a result he just does everything before it even registers as a problem for me. Similarly during vacations, he must have everything planned and if I were to plan a vacation a bunch of stuff will go wrong and that bothers him more than me. He also looks through our finances carefully, thinks about investments, tax mitigati…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:07 AM
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It's normal for same gender people to click better with each other. That's why most friendships are same gender. That's also why men and women have lust for each other, otherwise they'll just stick with their own gendered groups with no reason to hang out with the opposite gender. The lust kind of starts the initial desire for men and women to want to be with each other, and after that familiarity and familial bond holds it together.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 06:46 AM
3

If you're going to date anyone serious then absolutely you need to care about the amount of debt they're in. All kinds of debt, not just student debt. Of course everyone would want someone with money than not, even if they're not in debt. If you have money, you're the one that need to decide on your own standards and boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 02:40 PM
2

The only way you can do that without forcing is to allow the people that naturally don't find the opposite sex that attractive to just not date and not have kids. In the past both men and women were kinda socially forced or pressured to get together and have kids even if they're not that into each other. This really only take 1 generation to correct. Just leave the people that aren't interested alone and don't give them any pressure, don't have kids with them, and the next generation should only…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 02:35 PM
1

As long as he takes it out before it becomes a problem (eg. we miss trash day or the trash becomes so full no one can put anything in it anymore) that's fine. He can say no as long there's a good reason for it. Normally it won't just be a no, it would be like no I'm busy with something else, or no I'm really tired today can you do it or something. Most of the time it's not a problem because my husband is on top of things and I have never had the thought that I had to tell him what to do, things …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:20 PM
6

Power imbalances in and relationship, romantic, platonic or in business, it doesn't mean it is always bad. But it's risky and statistically bad for the person with less power. We're saying that this is a risky situation for the person with less power to put themselves in and giving them that warning. I would be super on alert for example if a 40 year old wanted to be in a business partnership with my 20 year old little brother. It doesn't always mean the 40 year old have malicious intent but it'…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:15 PM
1

We already have 3 kids and don't want anymore. But it would be really weird if he didn't tell me. I would ask why.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 04:15 PM
1

I'm not sure what I said has to do with evolution. Nothing I said had anything to do with reproduction or sexual success. But if we are talking about evolution, evolution didn't stop when we figured out how to farm or invented more and more tools. What is considered the fittest was always those that can procure the most resources. That can be through physical strength, hard science type of intelligence, or social intelligence. The reality is that individual humans can only grow so strong without…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 05:23 AM
1

Men used to be forced into war and violent situations. They didn't do it because they naturally wanted to, they just had to. Now that they don't have to, it's normal to "soften" up to match your environment. Everyone does it. Yeah, men that survived war would think being scared of talking to a girl is silly, but that's because those men experienced too much pain and that's not a good thing. All problems become nothing if your life is threatened or if you're at risk of starving to death. But the …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 05:33 PM
0

I think there is an underlying expectation that most people pick up on context when interacting with someone else. Most parents love their children's drawings and praise them heavily. Most children do not grow up thinking they're great artists because their parents and teachers praised their drawings and put it on their fridge. Very few children would think other parents will put up their drawings on their fridge. Similarly, you should know who is biased towards you and will likely talk you up. …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 07:31 PM
1

Not the biggest fan of the haircut but overall yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 11:19 PM
–

That's good, having children should come from your own internal desire. It's not something that you should be pressured into doing. That's not good for you or the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 04:38 PM
–

If I had no children, absolutely not. If I did have children, then I can consider it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 02:35 PM
9

My parents told me I'm literally the smartest kid ever and any company would have struck gold if they hired me. I didn't actually take that at face value and still studied and tried hard at my job searches because one look at the world you can see how things actually are. I just took it as my parents really loved and believed in me. I don't understand how people can keep believing something when it's easy to see contradictory evidence all the time in real life, especially when you know the sourc…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:51 PM
–

You're probably more of an extrovert than me. I am completely fine with minimally socializing and spending most of my time playing video games and spending time with already well established friends. I had my socialization needs filled by coworkers and a few close friends. I had no desire to hang out with strangers, and dating especially early on is pretty much just doing stuff with strangers. Like if I wanted to go to a restaurant or a ski trip or something, I would rather do it with my friends…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:01 AM
–

I'm sure there's people that can multi-task better than me, but I can definitely relate to people that do better just focusing on one thing at a time. It's not a time issue for me, but a focus issue. When I wanted to focus on career, I just didn't want to deal with a relationship. My brother was a bit of an anomaly with his start up, but I feel the same with with a W2 job. I made it to manager, which was cool. But if you have me a few more years I would've had a good shot at director. If I was a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:14 AM
4

Young people lack communication skills, don't know themselves or what they want well, don't have enough life experience to read other people well, and often don't know how to hold a boundary well. Having very high self esteem, like from supportive parents, can help with some of that, but a lot of it still just comes from being young and dumb. Relationship dynamics are changing rapidly. Traditional dating paths give you some type of expectation and assurance in how things will turn out. As people…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:00 AM
–

Men do have a bit less of a time crunch than women, but that doesn't mean time is on their side or that things get better with time. Generally men CAN choose to put relationships on the backburner a bit compared to women. This is the typical family / career choice women have to deal with that men have an easier time with. I chose to focus on my career in my early to mid 20's, and only started dating until I was in a very good financial and career position, basically a middle manager position. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:09 AM
3

I don't really care to learn about what men are like in general. Individually I care about what they are like as people, but not as men specifically. I was someone that wasn't very into dating or romance though, and was ok with or without a relationship. When dating I just tell / show people who I am and when you do that, only the people that like you stay. The ones that don't like you leave and therefore becomes kinda irrelevant to my life. So I guess I selectively create a situation where effe…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:46 AM
2

I was a virgin at 28. I sometimes brings it up around 3rd - 4th date, or sooner if I feel like the man is trying to have sex earlier and explain the situation. I come across as very reserved / shy, and talk like a prude, so most guys kinda just assume I won't have sex until at least a relationship. Very often the guy brings it up second date because they sensed that I wouldn't be ok with having sex early and wanted to confirm. Men can have expectations of when sex happens, but you can have your …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 11:23 PM
1

Yeah, parents care more about their kids and the ratio of teacher to kids is much higher. I'm sure my parents could've done a better job teaching me than any of my teachers. But they had work and it would've been massive overkill. My dad was almost a national level champion in math contests. I didn't need someone like that to teach me basic artithmitic. Unless I'm struggling, then they can step in, which they do. Also it's nice to have friends in school and deal with different teachers and their…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:48 AM
1

I'm agnostic and that's the right way. Explore all ideas and make your own conclusions.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:37 AM
3

Do you think you'd have a lot of success dating in 2026? - Not sure, I'm quite shy so that works against me. But I'm naturally masculine, so women might be more attracted to it. It's a wash. My brother is pretty successful at dating so if I go by that I'm good. Do you think you'd treat women well according to society's standards? - Yes, it's just being a good person Do you think you'd be more content than the average male today? - Yes, but I'm more content than most people and the same factors w…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 07:44 PM
3

I try to have a positive impact on people I interact with in general. It doesn't bother me much if I don't, but I like to make a mild effort because why not? However, it's very hard to make this type of impact online since you know very little about the person, but you're still debating so you're basically throwing generic thoughts in the void and hoping it might randomly fit the situation of a stranger. Statistically I think probably did have a positive impact on some people. Even if they don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 10:13 PM
3

I think you under estimate how high medical machinery costs, even for things much simpler than an artificial womb. If you truly want to go this way, getting a surrogate probably won't be that much more expensive than waiting for artificial wombs. We have much more low maintenance medical machines that charges an arm and a leg to run for just a few hours, imagine tying up a much more complex and high maintenance machine for 9 months and the medical bills associated with that. Seriously if this is…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:35 AM
1

5'10. When I was online dating I was looking for 5'8 and above.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 05:05 PM
2

I like cruises, I don't mind the small rooms and the people. And no wifi is a great way to disconnect. That and free food makes it a relaxing experience, and the views of the water is great. I bring video games and a book or something and it's great. I like having everything taken care of for me and I can just chill.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 06:43 PM
1

I'm married now, but back when I started dating: I go for smart people, generally young professionals in a technical field that's science or math related (eg. I like engineers and doctors, but not so much lawyers). I also tend to like soft spoken guys that are sweet and not hyper masculine. I like it when they have a good support system and have good relationships with their parents. I go for people that have similar earning potential as me. Goal is marriage and children / building a family and …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 01:14 AM
6

Nothing completely unique, but it's a lot easier for men to do physical things than women because of their strength. It doesn't matter, there's nothing anyone can do that can't be done by someone else. And that's ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:08 PM
4

Women don't find male sexuality repulsive, but women will find sexual attention from men they don't like repulsive. Men don't feel such a strong repulsion towards unwanted female attention because of the difference in physical strength and less consequences in having sex for men. Men do not have the same instinctive fear women do when a woman shows him unwanted sexual attention. You're lucky you can't relate. Because it means it's something you never had to worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 09:53 PM
3

I mean, lots of women would fight and die for their kids. Most people when given something they care about enough will fight for it. It's just that people disagree on what's important.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 05:38 PM
21

I almost never wonder why a guy does something I don't like. There can be so many reasons, maybe because other girls like it, maybe because his friend told him to do that, maybe because his mom told him to do that, maybe he just prefers it that way. Especially early in dating, we're just trying to find compatibility. He doesn't need to give me an explanation for who he is, it's up to me to discover who he is and if I want to continue dating him given what I know. I don't expect or want anyone to…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:36 AM
1

I don't expect a boyfriend to spend more money on me than I would on him. I treat a boyfriend like a friend, and don't expect him to pay for me for no reason. Lots of guys do want to pay and insist, and I don't really fight them on it. Like if a friend insists on paying for me... sure go for it. Once we're married though, then we're family, joint accounts so there's really no sense of yours or mine. I don't expect my husband or boyfriend to do the sidewalk thing, I wouldn't even notice it. It do…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:31 AM
–

Yeah I don't think it's a good idea to mold yourself into someone that's fundamentally not yourself for someone else. I guess when I was thinking about the type of person that I liked, that person would naturally appreciate someone with my personality, so the type of person that person would like would still be someone that's similar to me but maybe with certain self improvements that I would want to improve on anyways. It's not a foolproof strategy, but it's how I think about it and it's given …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:18 AM
2

I was single when I started being in here, and how I'm curious once in a while to see what it's like. And honestly you have more to talk about the more you're in a relationship. When I wasn't in a relationship I had nothing to contribute really. I guess I can complain but I'm not the type to do that, I mostly lurked. And once I was in a relationship I had more thoughts to share, even more when I got married, and more once I had kids. Also, if only single people debated in a space about relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 08:18 PM
2

Honestly I feel this in my real life. When I dated no one cared about cooking and cleaning, and I sucked at that. Most guys are happy my standards are so low for cleanliness because I guess they don't need to meet a high standard for themselves. Guys cared more about how good I was at video games than how much I can cook or clean. Online is the only space where I have ever heard guys say they cared about how much a woman can cook or clean, and I guess older people would say that. I have never fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 08:09 PM
1

Maybe that's how you act when you're young. But eventually you figure out you can't act all the time and any relationship you find when acting are not sustainable anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:21 PM
4

Men do lust more than women when it comes to pure lust. Men can feel lust simply because someone is a woman, but much less women feel lust simply because someone is a man. For example, I am attracted to men in a way that I don't feel towards women. But I like the men I do mostly because of who they are as people, not because of their maleness. I feel like men are more prone to liking someone simply because she is female. Not many women I know likes someone simply because he's male. There are wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:43 AM
1

Everyone is different and need different things emotionally. Some people really want people to need them, others don't and it puts lots of pressure on them. For you, you might connect better by actually needing someone, but others might connect better after having some independence and individualism as well. I also don't want people to need me like your ex, so I can relate. I would be super stressed out if someone is very dependent on me emotionally. I had situations where anything I said or did…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:30 AM
2

Although society is very relationship focused, it's more so that it's youth focused and relationships and sex is what the youth focus on. It's a big focus during your teens, 20's and early 30's, and that's the age group that most media focus on. I was a late bloomer and started my first relationship pretty late. Everyone around me used to talk about dating and relationships all the time, but by the time I finally got into one and can contribute to those discussions, everyone moved on and stopped…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:44 PM
1

I am a pretty wealthy woman that married a wealthy man and when I was dating wanted someone that made equal or more than I did so maybe I can shed some light on it. Very few actual wealthy or high earning woman expect the man to pay for everything and her to just accumulate money. Because money is no longer that much of a point of contension in everyday life. But I wanted someone that makes equal or more because why not? A whole family can live off of just my income, but if I find someone that m…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 05:39 PM
1

Honestly your advice is pretty good. The only additional advice I would give is to aim to be successful financially as well. Mostly because my social circles are all people that are financially successful, so that's the only framework and setting I have seen dating in. I can only give advice on how to date or interact with people I know well and therefore can predict well. Basically figure out who you like, and think about what type of person that person would like, and become that person. You d…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:38 AM
2

I'm in liberal circles and those that oppose AI doesn't care about that aspect at all. It's mostly because it's at least being blamed for lots of job loss and concentrate power at the hands of those that have access to AI or controls it. And also we're most in tech and have a love hate relationship with AI and our jobs right now. I personally love AI though.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:36 AM
–

Need is a pretty descriptive word for it. Also, women all kind of understand what we mean by not need because we have a point of comparison for what needing was. In the past women actually needed men to survive, legally you can't stand on your own and much less income potential. It was not a "I need this because I'm so lonely/miserable otherwise" kind of need, it was a "I can't stay alive" kind of need. I think women are describing it accurately, but men never needed women that way. So they thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:14 AM
1

It's not hard to understand 90% of the other gender's issues based off of common sense and basic understanding of people. Lots of people just choose not to or intentionally misunderstand in order to frame things that shows themselves in the best light.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 09:14 AM
3

I don't need men for money to survive. But who doesn't want more money? Men doesn't need a good looking woman to survive / have a child with, but who doesn't want a good looking partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 09:11 AM
4

I'm sure my husband wouldn't have chosen me off of a dating app. I'm very asocial and all my cues that I like someone is too subtle for any normal person to get. Only on dating apps can I actually show interest in a way people can notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 09:03 AM
0

If we're just doing that then I don't think anyone's bothered by that. We tend to criticize and tell people to stop complaining when the complaining is taking place of action. And often I do find that complaining tend to externalize your situation rather than internalizing it. While externalizing things makes you feel better and may stop you from blaming yourself for things not in your control, doing it too much may convince you that you have less agency than you think. You're more likely to tak…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:02 AM
0

I mean kinda. You can't just try nothing and expect the market to bend to you. Some people got very well paid 50 years ago simply because they would type fast, that type of opportunity isn't going to be viable today.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 09:14 PM
1

I wasn't arguing against it being a skill issue, I used the word out skilled specifically to tie it back to the op. But I was replying to the comment I replied to where he seems to have a concern that no one can be held accountable to anything because everyone was influenced by their parents, and the blame will keep going back forever. I'm saying you can give people grace and understanding because of external circumstances, but at the same time not letting criminals off the hook if they have com…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 04:13 AM
15

I think they're totally capable of it. My husband and brother both have a very strong friend circle where they talk about everything. It's probably a symptom of being taught to not show vulnerability, a very common way to have emotional closeness is to show vulnerability.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 09:30 PM
1

That's what I said. You can have a very legit and sympathetic reason for doing something but that doesn't excuse you if you committed a crime. But dating abusers is not a crime and the victim is yourself, the consequences happened in the sense they dated someone abusive. Unless the only men they ever attract or abusers, they still have a choice in which men they choose to date. But some people are bad at reading people, or get unlucky, or their opponent (the person trying to trick them) out-skil…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 09:21 PM
1

I agree that you shouldn't externalize everything that goes wrong and be proactive in getting better when there's a skills issue. You can be accountable and know there are things you can improve and change at the same time as having sympathy and understanding from other people. Unless this person has kids that they're putting in abusive situations, it's weird for bystanders to so strongly demand accountability to the point of getting angry and antagonistic, when the victim is the women themselve…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 09:15 PM
15

Many criminals are that way because of their upbringing and environment. But we don't excuse serial killers because the crime overshadows any sympathetic circumstances. But in situations where people attract abusers, they only hurt themselves, which lets us be more sympathetic and want to help them instead. I'm not sure what you want in terms of accountability. They often already faced consequences for any skill issue that they have. Most people would want to help them improve that skill.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:01 AM
2

Front lawns are a little useless, back yards are great! We play ball, have water gun fights, blow bubbles, do cartwheels, grill, eat outside, have picnics, and just lounge around. It's like a private park in your back yard. Especially great for kids. I guess front yards would be nice too if I wasn't anti-social and willing to do these things in my front yard. But right now the front yard is mostly aesthetics.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:49 PM
9

Look at my friends, if they're actively trying and not just passively looking - seems like once a month (assuming all of the first dates didn't work out, because obviously if you start going on more dates with one person the number of first dates will go down)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:53 PM
3

Yes, but my husband scores in a very high percentile for many things so he's not a good example of an average dating experience. But I think here is where the disconnect might be. There's very few men that will trigger immediate attraction on first glance. But a lot of men (>50% of age appropriate men) are pretty good looking. A lot of these men I would totally be willing to date. It could just be me or apply to other women too, but attraction is just less immediate and raw, and feelings grow as…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:54 PM
9

I don't feel anything. If they're asking me for advice or opinion I would tell them to not date anyone that they think is too much work or feels draining to them. If it happens to be all women, then so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:50 AM
2

Yes please, pregnancy sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 08:32 PM
3

She's the best and we're really close. She would agree with me on most things when it comes to relationships, she's the one that coached me through my relationships after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:15 AM
1

It's fine in the sense that it's morally ok. I might not be emotionally ok for a bit, but that's a part of life. I got rejected from my dream college program and felt devastated (I made my parents get off work early because I couldn't sit with myself. It felt like the entire future I was imaging just disappeared in a second and I had terrible coping skills back then), but the college didn't do anything wrong by rejecting me. Life went on, and honestly if I got into that program, I might be less …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:42 AM
–

It was just fear. Like I know it's a shitty thing to do, and tried many times to say it but chickened out. I know I should communicate but freeze. After a couple of times I told myself I can't keep doing that so I stopped ghosting people. Started with texts then worked up to in person. The first time I had to make my friend draft the message and click send. Second time I drafted it myself and had a mini panic attack while I waited for how they'll respond (they responded really well and was reall…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:36 AM
–

When women do it it's not justified either. Some people ghost because they either don't actually care or are too cowardly to communicate. That's a personality flaw and not something anyone should thrive for. I used to ghost people because I was a coward, but that's not a good thing to do and I can't justify it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 08:38 PM
2

Any kind of situation where someone tries to mask their real intentions are going to be hard to distinguish if they're good at it. Narcissists as far as I know tries really hard and are generally good at hiding it. I'm not a detective so I don't assume I can figure it out by surface level interactions. But when you date someone, the point is to dig deeper beyond surface level interactions. Narcissists might do all the right things and I might not know what to look for. But I do know they eventua…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 10:48 AM
0

I trust people until they give me a reason not to. I know it's possible for people to lie and there are bad people out there, but I tend to believe most people at least try to be good. I guess I tend to hang around good people since no one has ever tried to take advantage of my trust in relationships or otherwise. If someone did sleep with me and change their feelings the next day that would be ok. I would be sad that it didn't work out, but that's life, disappointing things happen. That's never…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 07:40 AM
0

If you genuinely changed your feelings that's fine. If you're intentionally lying to get what you want at the expense of others it's not. Being willfully ignorant isn't a good excuse either. If a guy likes me / asked me out and buys me an expensive gift / pays for a trip, and I accepted that gift - if after a couple of weeks I genuinely changed my mind, that's ok. It sucks for him but that's still fine. But if when I accepted that gift I knew I didn't like him or knew I was going to break it off…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 07:06 PM
–

So it's a shonen anime character. I create an alternate reality in my head where I self insert myself into the story and things happen, usually similar adventure he would go on but I'm a relevant character too. Whenever I have daydream time I would just play out fan fiction in my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:02 PM
1

Not that I wasn't completely interested, but I wasn't interested enough to put in the effort I needed to or to change myself to be relationship material. I guess I wasn't done growing yet, too focused on only myself and didn't want to change to be otherwise. Dating anyone at that point would've been inconsiderate and unkind to the other person. Also, I had a crush on a fictional character throughout my late teens and into my 20's. I was able to basically have a fake relationship in my head and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 06:49 AM
1

How old were you when you had your first kiss? - 26 First relationships? Casual sex? - 28 (relationship), no casual sex How many relationships/partners have you had? - 1 What's the longest you've gone single/sexless? - 28 years Do you find sex and dating to be unimportant? - It's important in the sense that you find a life partner, which is not only nice as companionship, but also adds a lot of content to your life you wouldn't experience otherwise. It's also great to just have another person ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 08:02 PM
2

If he is like "oh that's not gonna work for me", appears disappointed, visibly unhappy, end the date right there etc. that's ok. If he starts acting aggressive, trying to convince the woman otherwise, starts insulting the woman, then that's not ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 04:21 AM
1

It really depends on the market and the interest rate. We bought a couple of properties around 2020 and 2021 where the rent pretty much covered all cash flow (mortgage, insurance, property tax, maintenance). And at the same time it appreciated in value. My parents had it even better. I don't think I can pull that off now. Although you're right that investing in the stock market can yield similar returns. Real estate is a nice way to diversify your portfolio and have a really tangible asset compa…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 01:54 AM
6

If their reception is aggressive or extreme then that's not respecting boundaries. Although these people exist, I haven't seen women be actively aggressive towards a man for not paying or something. Usually the worst thing that can happen is no second date. Being dissatisfied isn't really disrespecting boundaries. You don't need to have a positive reaction to respect someone's boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 01:43 AM
4

I don't need my parents anymore, but that doesn't mean I would just abandon them on a whim. Wants can be really strong. You don't need to need someone for you to be strongly attached. No one actually needs me, except my children probably (even then they have their dad if I'm gone). If I die, they will be really sad, but life goes on and they will be fine in the end, and that's good and healthy. But all my relationships are very strong and I feel very secure in all of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 12:06 AM
8

You don't have boundaries to make other people like you. People will try to push boundaries or negotiate them if it benefits you, but what they want isn't relevant to you holding your boundaries. It's up to other people to feel out what your boundaries actually are, and it's up to you to enforce your boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 11:55 PM
4

I'm a total prude and anyone just dating me for sex will have a bad time.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 11:51 PM
1

If I'm happy with him before then it makes no difference. Because likely if I was already happy with how he treats me, it means that the stuff he did for his past girlfriends are just not important to me. If it was important to me it would bother me from the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:40 PM
0

You really don't have to interact with women outside of work and stuff. Lots of women choose to not interact with men because they don't trust men, don't feel a strong desire to date, sees men talk poorly of women on social media or real life and decided not to risk it. It's your choice to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:37 PM
–

You gave a lot of examples from your life, which are valid. But at this point your anecdotal experience is just different from mine. Unless a woman is very inexperienced and truly don't know what they like, I have never met anyone that would give advice that is the opposite of what they actually like. No one (in my experience) is going to tell you to be passive when they actually want someone sexual aggressive unless they had very few sexual encounters and don't know that about themselves. Somet…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:31 PM
1

It sucks that men don’t have the social and cultural support to be stay at home dads. My dad really enjoyed being a dad and raising his kids, and you can feel the satisfaction he gets from it. I know a few stay at home dads that are great dads, but I know it’s not as easy to be one compared to a woman wanting to be a stay at home mom. What is more common is to find a woman that enjoys working, relative high earner, and have a high enough income between the 2 of you so that you don’t have to work…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 12:03 PM
1

Everyone’s different and are compatible with different people. The women that are compatible with you, and will genuinely have her life improved from being in a relationship with you will genuinely want to direct someone like you to be successful in dating someone like them. For example, if you’re a traditional man, liberal women’s advice might not be useful to you, because it will be advice on how to act to get a liberal woman. But a traditional woman would give you advice that would work on a …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 11:56 AM
1

That's because most people, and by extension men are good people. Most people want to make their friends, family, or spouse happy. My husband is great, but so are my friends' and acquaintances' husbands. My dad and uncles are also great people. Social media is the place where negativity is unnaturally concentrated. Good relationships don't get as much engagement as negative content or controversial topics. Negative relationships are overrepresented on social media compared to the real world.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 02:45 AM
3

People are going to give you advice based on what worked for them. That's not malicious. No one is claiming their advice will work for everyone. If you think it's not relevant to you, then you don't have to follow it or take the parts that works.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 02:35 AM
7

That's fine, if you can't find you want then it is what it is. That's reality for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 01:46 AM
1

That's totally valid. I'm not traditional or conservative, but I am very sexually reserved and only had sex with 1 guy that eventually became my husband. I would definitely not be a good match for a lot of men, especially based on how a lot of men here talk about sex. I'm just not gonna be sexually adventurous or open to sexual exploration that might be a problem for a lot of men, especially if sex is very important to them. Some men say they don't want women with high n counts and such, but giv…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 12:38 AM
1

I just dated online after a while. Around the age of 26, I realized that I suck at differentiating platonic and romantic interest. I'm bad at hinting interest towards a guy or recognizing signs of interest from guys when it does happen. Online dating makes it unambitious that we're both interested romantically. I get desperation to a degree, I'm like the last person in my friend group to date. But if your goal is truly a life partner, then your logical brain needs to override your FOMO. Because …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 01:39 PM
–

I had a great childhood and only dates people that had similarly good childhoods. It's not that they're more confident, it's just that to me they're what my normal is and I can understand them better. Like I have very little idea what you're talking about with the uglies and dummy thing. I'm sure people with tough childhoods are stronger in certain areas than me or my husband, but we live in a pretty safe environment and I don't need a battle hardened person, I need someone who's also just cheer…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:27 AM
4

Not really. Choosing a life partner is very important, it's not something you should just jump into with the first person, or even first few people that makes an offer. Assuming we're not talking about casual sex but marriage, which is the goal of lots of women. The goal isn't to pair up with the most amount of people. Given that goal, you shouldn't go where you get the most offers, but the best offer. The chances of you finding who you want goes up with inherent qualities that cannot change, im…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:17 AM
16

That's not body autonomy, that's women's body having an additional function than men's. That's like me saying I don't have body autonomy because I can't fly like a bird. I just don't have that function. Body autonomy means you have the freedom to use or not use the body functions you do have. Also, women also can't get pregnant without men. As for conscription I agree it's not fair, either don't draft anyone or draft women too. I don't want to sit around panicking from home when my loved ones ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 05:53 AM
3

I always offer and it's genuine. There's no good reason that the guy pays. If he insists I won't argue, I offer to pay my share because it's fair, but I don't love paying or anything so if he wants to pay then sure. I have also had guys take the wrong message when I insist I pay because they think I don't like him or something. My parents tend to fight to pay with my aunts and uncles and other parents when I was young, it's cultural but I always thought it was ridiculous. I don't won't hold it a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 09:32 PM
10

Your partner is a person not an alien, it's weird to have to be taught how to treat a partner specifically and I feel like it will make people see the opposite sex as more of a foreign entity than they actually are.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 07:09 PM
1

My sex drive has always been pretty low. I didn't date or have sex until I was 28 because I never really needed sex. Although it's one of those things where once I did have sex with my husband I started to like it and want it. But my sex drive is still likely on the low end of the spectrum. So I try to find someone with a relatively low sex drive too. It's more rare to find a man that exactly matches my sex drive, but someone that is close enough so if we both reach out a bit we can be at a midd…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 06:18 PM
5

If I'm in a tennis club and there's someone that's amazing at tennis but ugly, I wouldn't care and my level of respect will be based on tennis skills. I have a mentor at work that is quite overweight and has acne and scars on her skin, not conventionally attractive, but I respect her so much. I would get a rush if she slacked me unexpectedly and would feel great if she happens to ask me to do some task, or just working with her on any project would make me excited. If I was at a dating or social…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 03:51 AM
6

That's very dependent on context. Am I at work, school, social setting, a hobby group, in the context of dating? Different situations demand different skills and attributes, and people rank differently based on what environment they're in.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 02:40 AM
4

I have never seen this scenario play out nor heard stories about this type of situation. Maybe in internet debates I hear people debating the risks of forgoing your career to be a stay at home mom, but no one has ever been rude to a stay at home mom in real life like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 01:10 AM
13

I definitely care, but I don't go around broadcasting it, I just won't date the men in question. There's lots of people that make life decisions that I don't agree with, but there's no reason to go around randomly insulting people, unless what they're doing is really harmful and likely to harm people in the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 01:06 AM
20

This is only difficult if men cannot accept staying single as an alternative. When women are told to raise their standards, they're also told that it means staying single as an alternative. If you need to be in a relationship at all times, then obviously your options become super limited.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 05:25 PM
–

I don't think paying back the tariffs is realistic, but Americans were the ones paying the tariffs. So it would be the government giving individual Americans or American businesses that imported goods back the taxes they collected. We're not paying back another country if that's what you're thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 08:22 PM
3

I think everyone cares a different amount about their own appearance and the appearance of other people. Some people have different standards for men and women too when it comes to effort in appearance. Personally I don't put in much effort in looks myself so I don't really care about if the guy dresses well. Some girls do care about how the guy dresses, some girls don't but might care about paying and other chivalrous things more. That's why dating is largely a compatibility check, and you want…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 08:18 PM
1

Just sharing experience from the girl I knew. It works to get attention sometimes, but you tend to select for a certain personality type. Lots of people think the other gender sucks or is shallow, but do things that would mostly likely work with or attract toxic behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 05:31 PM
1

Certain types of guys react to it, but you end up attracting guys with ego issues or respond to drama that way. It sometimes works to get attention, just not attention from the right people, IMO at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 05:25 PM
0

Just leave the person alone? I'm not someone that needs to be flirting with someone constantly. If someone's not interested I just go back to doing my own thing. Even if I legitimately liked their friend too I would wait a bit so the events seem separate. If you try to play weird games like with hitting on people's friends when they don't like you, the ones that will give you positive attention or play that game with you tend to respond to drama and be problematic with you too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 08:35 AM
1

I knew a girl that did that with guys, all that did was the normal guys ignored it and she got the attention of all the toxic guys. We had to sit her down and explain to her why this strategy sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 04:03 AM
–

I prefer the guy to plan things, but I can pay for my own stuff. Mostly because I suck at planning.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 06:26 PM
–

My brother was always popular with girls, but didn't really prioritize dating until maybe 21 when he got his career well set up. He was pretty indifferent and even annoyed by girls trying to date him when he was in high school when he wanted to focus on school. He was happy about the attention at first and it was good for his ego / confidence. But when some girls kept bothering him when he was trying to do other things he got pretty avoidant with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 06:19 PM
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That's just very odd to me. Obviously we haven't lived each other's lives and I can't say it doesn't exist. It's just that in my experience most people are not toxic, they might not be angels but not toxic. So statically it's weird to have such a high concentration of them that you encounter them regularly, especially when you experience different social groups and have the ability to over time move away from toxic groups to less toxic ones. There's this acquaintance from school where I found ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 09:12 PM
1

I'm sure they exist, just like I'm sure toxic men exist. But I barely encounter them so in real life it's not a thing I really need to worry about or is paranoid over. When people make the argument they don't really exist in real life, they're not saying they actually don't exist, but your chance of encountering one is low enough it's best to not assume the worst of people on a day to day basis.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 02:04 AM
–

Because I know them well. They've been dating and married my friends for many years, some over a decade. I've seen them in many situations and hung out with them a lot. My friends also talk about them so I know enough of their personalities, temperament, and quirks to get a decent idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:35 AM
–

They're almost all attractive, but I wouldn't want to date them (and vice versa) because we're not compatible. These people are specifically guys my friends attracted and decided to marry, so they are specifically a great fit for them. This includes quirks and strengths that the specific friend appreciates more than me, or weaknesses that bothers them less than it would bother me. I'm sure they wouldn't want to date my husband either for the same reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 03:14 AM
3

I will generally act interested, because I would be mean to act bored when someone's talking. So if I'm actually interested in the topic, I would not be pretending. If I'm not, then yeah I would be pretending. It's normal to not be 100% interested in what someone else is interested in, but there should be a good overlap. At the end of the date if we have nothing in common at all I would probably not go ahead with a second date.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:31 AM
2

If you try to do your best for women, then don't stick around women that you feel is using you. You can feel if someone is using you for this context. When I was little I would carry stuff for my friends all the time, since I was just the strongest of the group. They appreciated it and helped me where I needed it, but of course if they started taking it for granted I would stop. Same thing for relationships. If you feel like the woman is taking you for granted, then break up. This is the exact s…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 08:08 PM
6

I don't date people with noticeable mental health issues (if they manage it so well I don't notice then I'm not gonna dig super deep on if they're diagnosed with anything). I had a very smooth upbringing and really haven't dealt with anyone that does have mental health issues and I would not know how to help them, and will likely piss them off and make it worse. Basically I'm a pretty happy and optimistic person, and not sure how to deal with people that are too sad or cynical, and my default re…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 10:37 PM
2

Assuming I'm single at that time, I'll probably be addicted to anime and VR too. I kinda already am. Probably won't spend money on an AI I don't even like and enjoy the stuff I actually like.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:00 AM
7

I have fantasies about getting into street fights. Doesn't mean I actually want to be in a real life one and have one of the lowest risk tolerance of anyone I know. I leave situations the moment it gets slightly confrontational. The thing about fantasies is that you always control how it plays out. Even if you don't have full control like in a video game, you suffer no real consequences. No one actually wants all that in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:38 AM
0

I was a very happy single woman. I had freedom to spend my time how I wanted, flexibility to move anywhere, and space and room to grow and live as the adult I dreamed of when I was a kid. I had limitations like I can't go to too sketchy of a place at night, needed to worry about safety in certain situations, lots of cabinets and such are made for a male height, lots of furniture, even cheap and light ones are harder to move around as a woman. But even then it was very enjoyable. And I also knew …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 07:52 PM
–

In my day to day life I don't worry any man I meet are radicalized or is super sexist, and I haven't met anyone in real life like that. Social media amplifies a lot of radical views. Normal guys, or guys without strong opinions don't create shorts or videos that's likely to go viral. But even if we don't see it in real life, women in real life after hearing radicalized voices online might be more cautious of men or be more radicalized themselves since they believe the other side is like that. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 12:14 AM
1

If I know it's not likely to lead anywhere I wouldn't bother with it. Dating by itself is not that fun for me. As much as a dinner, movie, or activity sounds fun, I would rather do things like that with a friend I already know and am comfortable with than a relative stranger. I dated in order to get a specific result which is to have a family and have a partner that would be compatible with that. There's nothing else that's really valuable outside of that I would need to resist. Although I find …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:58 PM
1

Offline, most of my peers including men have similar world views on gender dynamics. PPD and other online places are where I go to get differing views. For PPD, I mostly want to put my perspectives out there to the pool of differing opinions. Some people are definitely frustrating to talk to or to read their viewpoints, but I don't really have a goal of changing anyone's opinion right away. My own perspectives changed a lot throughout my 20's and none of that was because of reading one comment o…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 11:45 PM
1

I get that, but doesn't swiping on everyone indiscriminately contribute significantly to the matches not being great? If the input you give an algorithm is garbage, the result can't be that good.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:57 PM
1

I actually never thought of myself as inherently worthy or not worthy for anything. I try to get something, and either I get it or I don't. My qualities / skills, the other person's preferences, the other person's mood on the day, or just pure luck can affect the result a lot, so I don't really take the result as a measure of worth. I guess if the real question is why I have self confidence when it comes to relationships, it would be I feel like I'm good at a lot of things when I put my mind to …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:41 AM
3

That would be a pretty good result for me to be honest. That's 6 people, and you only need to click with 1 person. Unless you're expecting most of your matches to just ignore you, I would be pretty happy with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:25 AM
1

I know of some people, one didn't directly ask the guy out pretty much made it really obvious she liked him and put a lot of effort into talking to him, and doing things he liked for a while. The other one tried hinting for a while, he didn't seem to get it, and directly asked him if he's just oblivious or didn't like her and the started dating after that. I don't have an issue of pursuing guys based on principle. I think the person doing the pursuing has a lot of agency and probably end up find…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 04:41 AM
2

I'm not sure if this will continue, but my social circle are pretty high earning individuals. Doctors, Lawyers, high earning engineers, entrepreneurs / CEOs etc. What I'm seeing is that when income levels goes higher, men outnumber women (although law seem to attract a lot of women, but the other high earning fields make up for it if they're willing to date an engineer or something). Most men want to marry a woman in his income bracket if he can, but often he can't, and although it's a preferenc…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 04:31 AM
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If she honestly didn't find anyone attractive, why would I pressure her to date someone there? It doesn't help her or the guy if she doesn't find him attractive. 9 events isn't that many events. If you're looking for a life partner, it's reasonable to be patient about it. People are so different, it's very normal for you to meet a bunch of people but not click with one on that level (especially if you're dating for marriage and not casually). Also, some people need a deeper connection to feel at…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 08:02 PM
3

The same reason you're nice to random people you'll never meet again. Some people just want other people to have a good day regardless. And there's more to life than dating, being consistently pleasant helps you be around good people and other people that are consistently pleasant and that helps in many other areas of life. Also, some people are more naturally likable than others depending on their genetics and how they grew up. Most likable people are that way because they naturally act that wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 08:59 PM
1

"I don't know. Last time i checked, feminisms claimed to fight for equality AND against women's oppression." Fighting for equality in advocacy groups tend to still be one sided. It's like me fighting for the school to be fair to my children, I would speak up fiercely when my son is being treated unfairly, but I wouldn't have the energy to do the same for every other child. I might support other parents for sign some petitions to help when it comes to other kids when people bring those issues up …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 08:49 PM
1

It's just a women's advocacy group. It's like a lawyer representing women, they're going to be pushing for women's interests, solve some issues affecting areas where it's unfair towards women but is not going to give the same energy for men. I don't think that's a very strange or uncommon thing. Like I said pretty much all advocacy groups work, and feminism isn't well set up to address or even identify men's issues, MRAs won't be that good even identifying women's issues either. MRAs is a very g…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 04:29 PM
0

You're coming from a perspective that women just have more options than men. I think the advantage women have in dating is mostly because men are hornier than women. But that's mostly negated if you don't leverage sex as much. Given there's a similar amount of men and women, there's no reason that women would have more options than men. It just doesn't math out. If you eliminate men that just wants to have sex, and cares about the quality of the woman beyond that, I find they often do have decen…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 11:03 AM
2

Men are not fulfilling their roles by dealing with abusive behavior from women just because she's hot. Most men don't do that, but there are more men that would stay with hot abusive women compared to women. That's possibly because there's a lot of warning of abusive behavior from men when girls are growing up, or because men are not as scared of women as women are scared of men. Still, either gender dealing with abusive partners are doing anything to help society. Even radical feminists complai…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 10:54 AM
2

Traditional or not, it's not healthy. We encourage women to break away from a lot of traditional stuff that is not good for them, so we shouldn't just let that kinda stuff slide for men. Women working to support men is not traditional and less common, but as women get better paying jobs and earning potential it's natural that it'll happen more. Hot abusers might always find someone that overlook things because of hotness, but it doesn't have to be you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 04:07 PM
0

I think being proactive gives you an edge over not being proactive. And I think ego or societal expectations do stop women from being as proactive. But I don't think it's everything either. You have to still be a attractive partner (or an attractive partner to the type of partner you want). Like most women can find a guy willing to have sex with her, but I doubt most women are ok with having a partner that just want to have sex with her. Like finding a job, sending out more resumes and approachi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 09:51 AM
1

Those venues are probably just the most common places to find people. You can definitely find people in niche places that might fit your interests better, which a lot of people do, but they're niche for a reason. Most people don't go to places to find a date, most people just go to places to have fun or socialize and happen to find people to date. So I guess when they're going to venues, they're likely not going with an intention of finding a bf, but just because they want to be there too and ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 09:41 AM
3

Thanks, I'm a software engineer.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 09:38 AM
2

People tend to do stupid things for hot people. I've seen more men do more stupid things for hot women than the other way around. I have guy friends who have pretty shitty girlfriends / wives and you can't say anything about it. If I had girl friends with similarly shitty boyfriends, they might tolerate it for a bit out of hope but eventually they all leave, but the guys marry these people and you can't get through to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 10:43 PM
8

I mean, the best way to get what you want is to actively go for it. I always thought that men tend to have a better result in (dating the person they like more than vice versa) specifically because they tend to be more proactive. Everyone they ask out will be someone they like, they don't limit themselves to only people that approach them first like women might be tempted to do. Lots of women are ok defaulting to being more passive and sometimes that works for them because men's proactiveness ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 10:39 PM
2

Maybe to actually learn the stuff you're paying a fortune to learn... Not everything will be useful at work, but it's always nice to know more. I do feel like we tried to fit too many career paths into a university setting. Universities were originally for subjects that are highly academic and attended by scholars and people that tend to enjoy learning for knowledge's sake. If you just want to train a set of skills for a specific job then that should be a different type of training school. Still…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 11:33 PM
1

When I was a kid I got annoyed that adults would just randomly pick me up and move me around. I remember wishing I was heavier so they can't do that easily anymore and had a goal weight of like 120lbs since I for some reason thought that was the magical weight where people can't pick you up anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 09:32 PM
2

HR caters to what the hiring manager wants most of the time. Maybe add a few bureaucratic layers for legal / process reasons, but generally HR will not stop someone from being hired. Jobs are hard to get because the ratio of qualified candidates to job positions are in the employer's favor right now. But I remember just a several years ago when it was totally an employee's market and the employers and recruiters were doing the song and dance.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 10:10 AM
2

My husband hired a guy to manage one of his teams, and right after he accepted the offer he was like "my wife is 7 months pregnant" and went off on paternity leave a month and a half later. My husband had to manage that team himself for the next 5 months. It's not that different if guys are given good paternity leaves too, which they should.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:07 PM
3

It's normal to want to minimize the chances of a disorder though. Both my husband and I took a genetic test before we had kids to make sure there's no high risk of a significant disorder to begin with. If a child is born with a disorder you do your best, but before they're born why not minimize risk as much as possible?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:00 PM
1

Yes, but a woman being all touchy is culturally considered less sexual, and unwanted sexual attention from women is considered less dangerous / more innocent and therefore there is less of a negative reaction to it. It might not be right or fair but that's how the world reacts right now and that makes women less worried / self conscious about being overly touchy compared to men. Women also are more touchy with each other because we perceive our touches to have less sexual meaning. One thing that…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:39 PM
1

I mean my female friends did all that with me, but culturally girls doing stuff like that to their friends don't carry the same sexual connotation. For my friend, I can see her touching a guy's thigh lightly maybe closer to the knees as a friendly touch, but she would probably know that if she goes closer to the crotch or if the touch was firmer or squeezing that area it would come across as sexual. It's also possible that some girls like to tease sexually without there being any real interest b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 06:41 AM
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Not sure. I love this life and the memories of it. But at the same time it would be sad to remember people but not be able to see them again. Maybe making new memories from scratch would be better. I'm not sure I would want to live my current life with full memories from another life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:39 PM
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Say "exactly", give them a kiss, watch them blush and walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:33 PM
1

Girls have different personalities and communicate differently. I have a friend that's very friendly and touchy to everyone, as a girl it makes it so that you feel like she's your best friend right away and it's nice especially for someone that's shy, it makes me feel accepted and comfortable with her very quickly. But I can see how it can be interpreted as flirty if it was towards a guy. For me, I'm naturally kind of cold and distant. So me initiating any conversation with someone and smiling a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:30 PM
3

Being older does seem to have an impact, but mostly rules out guys that prioritizes having a family and especially a big family after a certain age. Not terrible but it's harder to find the traditional dad-like guys that wants a big family. But in my experience there's no difference between high n count girls and girls with low n counts. I'm in my mid 30's and have seen girls around me with different lifestyles and have seen how their romantic lives end up. High n count girls have no issues gett…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:24 PM
1

I don't know how we're defining red flags here. But red flags are potential flaws. They're an early or indirect indicator of a flaw. Often when we refer to a red flag, we're talking about red flags to flaws that are serious deal breakers. But a red flag itself is just what it sounds like, a flag of a potential problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 10:19 PM
2

Most nerds I know are doing well for themselves. They might not be super wealthy compared to what they could be, but still above average. I know a couple of people with PHDs that are completely irrelevant to their jobs and they don't use it at all. But they are still at the end of the day smart people and able to find above average jobs regardless. Nerds that are below average has to also be really bad at many other things in addition to just having nerdy interests and smart. Like lack of social…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 08:37 PM
9

I have no issues with it. It's against the norm so that's always going to get some pushback no matter how reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 08:04 PM
6

There's wish fulfillment fantasies on both ends. Both Anime and K dramas tend to market themselves to the fantasies of man and women and it's not hard to pick up they're kinda shallow and unrealistic. It's fair for men to complain about objectified male characters, and as more men care, the more it will be a thing. Historically I think women are more sensitive to media that objectifies them because there is a real fear of actually being objectified and lacking agency in real life. Men were more …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 05:12 PM
2

Very dependent on the man. I would be a good gf/wife to someone and be totally repulsive to someone else. Just like how I like certain qualities and don't like others in men. Dating is pretty much just an exercise to find someone that likes the specific qualities in you and vice versa. I did not date for a long time because I didn't think I would make a good gf to anyone though. Because I was very self centered and wasn't mentally ready to truly care about another person consistently. So univers…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:42 PM
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I tried a few things but doing what other people did, like exaggerated expressions and acting super excited just wasn't for me and people can probably tell it was fake. Eventually I just stuck with telling people I liked them in my own way. I would very directly tell the guys I liked spending time with them, or what I liked or admired about them is a pretty calm matter of fact way. This doesn't work for everyone, but it works for people that likes my style, which is why just figuring out who is …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 09:28 AM
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Mostly around social skills, understanding dating dynamics (I guess flirting), getting more comfortable with going on dates etc. Like I said dating didn't come intuitively to me like it did for many other people. I'm also very introverted so basic social skills helped a lot. Also just the more you talk to guys, the more you get a sense of how to interact with them romantically, and also what type of guys I like and likes me. Naturally I got a better sense over time. There are also a few basic gr…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 07:31 PM
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Dating was not easy for me, and didn't come instinctively to me like I feel it does for a lot of people. I put significant effort into it. A lot of guys, especially here seem to resent having to self improve, but I was totally fine with it, I put effort into every other part of my life so why not this? Dating was hard until it wasn't. I was constantly trying to improve and iterate on my dating/social skills and other parts of myself that makes me a better person to be around. Things felt stagnan…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:02 PM
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Parents often change their outlook based on what's best for their children. My dad grew up super traditional and had traditional views (my aunts never went to college for example since my grandparents didn't pay for it), but as soon as I was born he threw out all the parts that were bad to women and kept the parts that were good to women. I asked him about this when I got older and he just said me having a happy and fulfilling life was more important than arbitrary rules / traditions he was had …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 09:04 AM
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Yeah, in my experience the better someone's life is, the nicer they usually are. Most people that are treated well their entire lives tend to reflect the positive interactions they had back at you. They do tend to just leave if they think you're treating them badly and feel the need to justify it. However, the nicest people I met that went super above and beyond are people that dealt with hardships. I think they are more considerate and thoughtful. While people with easy lives tend to just be ni…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 09:25 AM
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When you have the ability to sustain yourself and be happy single, then it's actually more likely for you to date someone that is better for you than if you are desperate and rushed to get into a relationship. This totally makes sense. If I was unemployed and the only way to eat / have shelter is to marry, then I would've probably married one of the first people interested in me. Statistically that person would be someone that's average. Having money improves your chances both by giving you more…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 10:10 PM
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People respond to reaching out pretty equally from men and women when it's not motivated by romantic advances. My husband is the primary socialite in our relationship. He keeps in contact with people and makes plans. With lots of other couples it's the wife doing that. He doesn't get more or less responses compared to the wives. People are normally just happy you're inviting them to something since everyone wants to do something but no one wants to plan it. If you are the person to plan / sugges…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 09:55 PM
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Every time I buy a house my parents and entire extended family have to approve or comment on it. Everyone's in my business. But the benefit of that is they scrutinize everything and all these little things are nitpicked like crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 09:45 PM
3

Before marriage I expect all finances to be separate. I will treat you like a roommate. After marriage everything's pooled since now I treat you like family.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 09:10 PM
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I think women have more incentive to want magic stuff to be real to get a sense of control. If you're physically not strong, then you kind of wish for an alternative way to get power. Women with more tangible sources of power like independently wealthy tend to not believe in magical stuff as much. It's the same reason as countries get more developed, they get less religious.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 06:49 AM
1

If you want flowers, she knows you want flowers, and she refuses to get you flowers, then maybe you shouldn't be dating someone like that. Almost every girl I know would be so excited if their boyfriend/ husbands told them they like flowers and would spend a long time and totally enjoy picking out flowers for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 02:15 AM
7

The company pays me with my boss. And I don't particularly have any obligations to her after work. I can finish my work and completely forget she exists, it's a completely transactional situation where I can very easily leave without much friction. I like my boss, but I don't really need to like her. While with my husband, I live with him full time and likes being with him and spends time with him without having to be paid. If I treated him like my boss... then what's the point of even marrying …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 09:08 PM
6

You come to a consensus for compromise. This is not very difficult for just 2 people. When a group size gets bigger, it is harder and harder to come to a consensus for obvious reasons, but with a group of just 2, it is literately one of the easiest things to accomplish when it comes to getting along with other people. I have never had an issue where I couldn't work out a proper compromise with someone. Especially if you already have similar values. If you are someone that finds it consistently v…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 09:04 PM
3

Not in a biological way, because you're usually biologically wired to not be sexually attracted to family members for obvious reasons, so the sexual attraction part of that equation normally can't happen if you actually think of them like a brother/sister in that sense. But you should feel a close family-like bond with them eventually. Romantic / sexual love is nature's way of bringing someone that is not related to you by blood into your family line. A romantic partner is basically just normal …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 08:19 PM
10

To me, romantic Love is Love (like you may have with your parents and family) + sexual attraction + friendship (not always required but super important long term)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 04:32 PM
2

Probably because puberty and lots of gender specific stuff happens around that time, and your mom tends to provide guidance on those things. You naturally get closer to your mom since you can talk to her about more stuff. Hating your dad is a bit extreme, but maybe that's just teenage angst making it feel like hate. But your dad (compared to your mom) becomes less relatable/relevant and it's normal to drift apart a bit then.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 07:55 AM
3

Probably if she knows you like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 07:50 AM
0

You don't give gifts to people to make them like you. You give gifts to people because you want to see them happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 07:50 AM
1

I'm the opposite. It's much easier for me to enjoy my own creations and appreciate myself compared to other people. I don't need many reasons to like myself and my qualities, but for other people I tend to be more objective. There are several people in the world that I just favor and see in a more positive lens than average. Where I like, think well of them, and want to do things for them without them needing to prove much to me. Myself is one of these people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 10:24 PM
1

The original commenter said that he doesn't like people in general, and the only thing that bothers him about women is that he biologically wants something from them, which is sex, and that might force him to have to connect with another person when he doesn't want to deal with that. If that's true, then I assume that the need to be desired is also not very strong, because that kind of stuff stems from caring about what other people think. If you don't care about how people, men or women think a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 12:12 PM
3

When I look at most people, most girls have kind and nice boyfriends. Most guys in solid relationships are good people. I rarely see an asshole that survives in long term relationships. Relationships with drama are just loud, and relationships with assholes (men or women) are more likely to have ups and downs and drama, maybe they break up more and one bad person affects more people, and society and social media pay more attention to them. At the end of the day, I see good people in relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 11:26 AM
1

I'm pretty sure a puppy... or a hamster would fill that role better than labubus....
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 11:22 AM
1

I think everyone has different opinions on it. I know there are some concerns with the morality and potential trafficking. But I honestly don't know enough about the industry to speak much on that. But at least where I live it's legal and everyone's pretty liberal about sex work, and assuming it's done safely, it would be a legitimate solution for this situation wouldn't it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 11:20 AM
1

If you don't care about the emotional connection part of it, then wouldn't sex workers be a good solution for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 07:41 AM
1

The issue is that there is only a problem if the attention is unwanted. Sometimes women dress to attract sexual attention from men that she wants, but not attention she doesn't want. Men often present in a way to attract women he wants, not women he doesn't want. Unwanted attention is a negative side effect of attracting attention, it can't be helped sometimes. The issue is that unwanted male attention is more concerning, and that concern comes from both real and perceived/instinctive fear. Wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 02:22 AM
1

Yeah, there's good and bad men. The issue is not when they're good, it's how bad can it go if they try to hurt you or just loses it and goes out of control? I feel like bad women can also do sufficient damage to men to the point that it's not trivial. But instinctively, there is much more fear towards a pissed off man than a pissed off woman. Just like you're more scared of a pissed off Tiger than a pissed off cat. Even if I tell you it's a very well trained tiger, the off chance that it does at…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 07:32 PM
9

There is more risk to women attracting unwanted male attention than there is for a man attracting unwanted female attention. Unwanted female attention can be destructive as well, but men don't have as much of an instinctive fear of it as women do. Similarly, I am less nervous when I get unwanted attention from a lesbian woman than unwanted attention from a man. Society in general thinks so too. My parents treated unwanted attention from boys towards me with much more concern than unwanted attent…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 09:03 PM
1

People can lie about all sorts of things. By default I tend to trust people until I have a reason to believe otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:10 AM
2

It's very normal to be attracted or not attracted to certain races. There can be individual differences, but often people in a certain race has distinctive looks and you might be into or not into that just like any other physical features. Similarly, there are cultural differences you might not be used to. It's very common for people to want to date in their race because those are the faces they're used to and feel familiar towards. Like I am very familiar with the faces and mannerisms of men in…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:03 AM
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Because we're on reddit
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 08:48 PM
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But they're actually top % of something in the world. That's actually respectable and I have nothing against that. Plus it takes a toll on their bodies. There are people that just got lucky because they happen to be one of the first engineers at a company that IPOed (or not even that early) and retired in their 30's and they're not even the best at what they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 08:47 PM
0

I'm someone who cared a lot about financial stability and earning potential when dating. I definitely do look for men that has a certain background and economic reality. Because all else equal, having money is often better than not having money. But similarly, as long as the relationship is good and the person is a good person and not taking away from my life, usually having another person around is better than not. To me, most people are great, and it's better to have them around than not. This…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 08:42 PM
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Again, that's a difference in philosophy. I'm not surprised insurance companies would try to find reasons to not pay up, but that's more of them being sketchy than the spirt of the insurance plan. From an insurance company perspective, obviously it's nice to be able to differentiate people and charge them different rates, and refuse to insure some people outright, but that would create some really tragic situations for some people. More so than there already are I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:22 PM
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You should specify you want responses from single women only. This isn't exactly a dating advice sub either, it's about relationships in general and often people share perspectives that are not aimed at helping people get dates specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:17 PM
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Some nuances of dating change but people fundamentally aren't that different. My parents and grandparents gave me really valuable dating advice. They're not all applicable as in you can do EXACTLY what they did and get the same result, but take what is relevant to you and modify it to fit your situation. They might not give you a script and step by step instructions, but rather teaches you about the world and how people think, and that's often more valuable later on. When you want to study a sub…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 04:54 PM
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I think that's because you're not allowed to discriminate on health insurance that much. Otherwise everyone will pay a different rate depending on your socioeconomic status, past illnesses, genetic or illnesses that runs in the family etc. etc. and it will get really ugly for some people. Right now healthy people are paying into a system to help less healthy people, and as a society we decided that's the right thing to do. You can disagree but that's a philosophical disagreement. I'm not 100% su…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 04:44 PM
3

In my experience, most men that had a good family growing up have a good chance of being a good father. Not all of them, but I see a pretty good hit rate. There's also being a good father now, and you can see them developing into a good father later. Most parents suck a parenting until they actually have a child. Personally, almost all my mothering skills developed because it was necessary. I literately couldn't keep a goldfish alive. But I, like most people, just can't do nothing when a child n…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 08:55 PM
1

Well, I know from experience that I definitely cannot be a full time stay at home Mom and do all the chores without help. In my opinion having a job is a lot easier than being a SAHM, but my job is high paying and relatively easy (for me), and someone with a 80 hr / week toxic or physically challenging job might feel differently. Or maybe their job is just not as rewarding or doesn't click with them that much, and that might mentally tax them and drain them more than if they were a stay at home …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 09:23 PM
2

Not really. We spend money easily on luxuries like vacation and spas. Or ordering takeouts and babysitting services. Cleansers are just something to help out a bit, give you more time and let you enjoy your time. If you're financially struggling then maybe spend your money on something else more critical, but if you can afford it it's definitely not a waste of money. It's a pretty good use of money. Most husbands don't want their wives to be stressed all the time either. Just like how they hire …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 05:19 PM
1

Even if someone thinks that, there's no reason whatsoever to say it to you. The only reason someone would say that is to hurt. So it doesn't say much about how desirable you actually are, and more about what kind of person they are and the fact that they're actively attempting to put you down. I can't imagine anyone that has no desire to hurt or put down anyone saying something like that even as a joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 09:24 PM
3

I don't think women are more wonderful than men. Men and women are all people, some good, some bad. I haven't seen particular patterns in terms of who is better than the other. We do have different ways of communicating and showing how we care though, but in terms of being a true good or bad person, I feel like men and women are very similar to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 09:21 PM
2

Sorry, I'm not sure if there's anything that can keep those thoughts away.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 10:32 AM
5

What kind of scary thoughts? Also I find family and friends are pretty effective in keeping you occupied. Especially if they're extroverted and drag you around everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 09:23 AM
7

What would you be contemplating life about? Just asking because I'm someone that was very content being single and while I wanted a relationship more than not, I was still very happy while single. I have close family and friends, and while I kinda had the feeling of missing out on some cool experience other people have, but I definitely never felt lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 07:01 AM
13

I need some examples. How does someone take away my innate right or desire? And what does it mean take away my ability to have a child or a human connection? Nuances matter here as it does in every other part of life. Using making friends as an example, if someone locks me away, so I physically can't make friends, then that would be bad. If they simply chooses not to be friends with me, then that's not really their fault. If they wouldn't have fun hanging out with me, then obviously they should …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 06:52 AM
25

Because I try to be a good person to other people regardless if I'm attracted to them. I've met plenty of people that were good to other people that where there's no way they're attracted to them. So that's just basic human expectation. And yeah, if a billionaire is sad that no one cares about him without his money, I would be sympathetic. He's still a person behind all that money and has the same feelings as everyone else. $400M losing 10M is less so but that's only because his problem is easil…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 03:54 AM
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Do you love your parents? If yes, focus on the feeling, not the person for this next part, now for a romantic relationship, add lust to that feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 08:41 PM
5

I was celibate, I don't have casual sex since I don't really feel sexual desire for someone unless I have a strong emotional connection with that person. I was a virgin until I was 28, when I met my now husband. We were very similar, which means I can still do all the fun stuff I was doing but consistently had a buddy to do it with, and we click well enough that we fit into each other's lives and routines without much friction. I would say he upgraded my life from a 7/10 to a 9/10, which is grea…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 07:42 AM
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Oh... but why would women complain and say they don't want male attention if it's all wanted?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 07:05 PM
4

Paying for a date is a voluntary gesture, and not a requirement. It's him doing something nice for me, so he gets appreciation just like I would want if I did something nice for him like paying for his meal or baking him some cookies or something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:59 PM
9

There's nothing in particular I did to be happy being single, so it's kind of hard to tell people how to do it. But it's kinda like... you know when you're a kid you just didn't care about dating or girls? Whatever made me happy back then kinda still make me happy now, or a more mature version of it. I play video games, I hang out with my friends, family, go to cool places. Go to the park and do cartwheels. Get ice cream. Climb a mountain, climb trees! Go skiing, go white water rafting. I don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:53 PM
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The vast majority of guys don't pay attention to me. I really like how I look, but I don't particularly grab the attention of guys en masse. That's great most of the time. But any unwanted attention is still unwanted, and the few times I did have unwanted attention were still stressful and I wish it didn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:43 PM
3

Some people just have low sex drives but still want to form a family. You might not encounter these people or just dismiss them as people that aren't into you, and you definitely shouldn't be with them if sex is super important to you. But I encountered them quite a bit since I'm kinda like that tried to seek out similar people. No real talk of sex until months into the relationship, and when we talk about sex more it's not a high priority, it's just one of the things we can do together that's p…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 01:18 AM
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Sounds reasonable. One thought I had was should we do this for any crime in general, but we should start somewhere. This should be combined with fast court proceedings though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 08:07 PM
3

I don't know much about this app. But if it really shows names and photos of people, and lets people comment on it freely in a database format that sounds dangerous. It's making me uneasy and I'm surprised there's no legal controversy around it...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 07:06 PM
1

Yeah, which is why I said you shouldn't stay with a partner that's obviously bad for you. And that's why I'm way picker with partners than friends. But same principle applies, because they're both people that are in your life a lot. Unless you're somehow surrounded by terrible people all around, a lot of people are good. As long as you have that foundation, I feel like I can get along with most good people. I'm not saying marry the first person you date, but out of 5 people, there is probably on…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:43 PM
1

Marriages has different meaning to different people. But for me marriage is a legal union. It's important for me because I want a legal union in order to build a family with someone. To me family to me means you're work as one unit, and having a legal union helps formalize and legalize that. Vows are cute, but they're not enforceable, it's more like something nice and cute you say at your wedding. You be with someone in sickness and health because it's something that good people do, and you don'…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:37 PM
1

Obviously you shouldn't stay friends or partners with someone that is bad for you or a bad person in general. But at least 50% of people you meet should be pretty decent people, and that's a lot of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:28 PM
0

I agree you should put in a lot of thought into who you marry. At the same time, it's not supposed to be that hard finding someone you click with and want to spend years and years with. Most of my friends I've known most of my life are just random people I met, and now they're a huge part of my life. Being best friends with the first person you talked to in kindergarten is pretty common. What are the chances the first person you talk to in kindergarten will click with you so well that they are i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 08:58 PM
1

The actions are pretty obviously misandrist. Although personally I was just being selfish and immature. I was a little shit when I was a kid, to boys and girls, and took advantage of these situations without thinking about it much. Whatever part of my brain that should've been responsible to make me think more about and be considerate to others just developed really late. I was very blind to other people's thoughts and feelings when I was a kid, like it's not that I didn't care about other peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 10:35 PM
0

Other women have been very helpful to me my whole life. I feel like I can run up to any woman and she'll help me, no strings attached. I would also go out of my way to help other women. So I think most women do want to help other women. But I can totally believe that some women would bring up women's issues to hate on men or respond to men's suffrages instead of addressing the issue directly. Because a lot of people do that, and women are still just people. Whataboutism is a common logical falla…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:03 PM
1

Yeah, happens quite often to us. We're very non-confrontational so we let it go, but tend to share a bit of an eyeroll after.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 08:47 PM
1

You might have to spell out what it looks like to participate in toxic masculinity or give me a list. I don't think I do, but obviously if I was aware that I was participating in toxic activities I would stop it. It's much more likely that if I was doing something toxic I am unaware that it is. So asking me to self report here without any guidelines isn't very helpful. I have done a couple of obvious things that were bad in the past, but since I realized they were bad, I no longer do them. FYI t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 08:46 PM
1

I think I look very approachable, but my demeanor makes me unapproachable. I'm very shy and avoid looking at people I don't know. I don't talk in groups, and in conversations with strangers I try to end it asap unless I have something specific I wanted to talk about or it's a practical conversation. Basically I don't want to know any stranger better, men or women. I'm friendly towards people when I interact with them and really cheerful and energetic around my friends, but I'm generally not inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 09:24 AM
1

It's weird that people hanging out with their primary friend group is a red flag. I can't really think of anything more normal and benign.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 07:13 AM
13

For wealthy men don't randomly marry anyone. Most wealthy men I know marry someone that are in a similar tax bracket, or similar socioeconomic status as him. I'm not sure about middle class, but chances are you can make more with sex work than a middle class man could anyways. Also being a wife is also work, especially if not with someone you like anyways. Plus you lock yourself in super long term, while the financially bad times might be temporary.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 09:37 PM
3

Most men are good people, because most people are good and men are people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:48 PM
2

I agree with this, it'll reduce a lot of suffering from men and women. As long as there's some criteria on being a parent since I want children to be born into somewhat decent homes. I know anyone can have kids now, but we have a higher bar for artificial wombs just like we do for adoption.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:45 PM
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Both me and my husband are very frugal. It's great because we get to retire early, we saved / invested enough so at any point we can stop working. But stupidly we're still working for some reason...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:41 PM
1

I'm 34 and married now. I had my first boyfriend when I was 28, and I was writing this based on my mindset at 28 (although not much changed mentally). The reason I didn't feel much urgency was: - Like I said, I feel like I can build a good relationship with most people. I was pretty confident that once people know me they'll like me, and my ability to maintain a relationship. I just need to find the best person, and this is a lifetime decision. I guess there was some urgency, but the significanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 05:09 PM
1

I get that you're trying to talk about a cultural dynamic that pushes men to behave in certain ways. Your post contained a very absolute statement though, which is that all men are exhausting to deal with. To be honest I have met like 1 or 2 guys that felt exhausting to deal with, and I quickly just stopped talking to them, the rest were fine. I'm sure they do socialize men to have some inflated egos, especially in certain groups of men, but you don't really have to make it your problem to deal …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 04:48 PM
1

Because people's happiness tend to adapt to their circumstances. The same good news can make a poor person a lot happier than a wealthy person. That's why past a certain amount of money where you're past just trying to survive, happiness tend to plateau.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 06:25 AM
13

Just because you're expected to do something, doesn't mean you have to. You don't have to be emotional caretakers or tiptoe around anything. Be yourself, and you're more likely to attract men that are attracted to your true self. I feel like if you feel all of these things you mentioned when being with a man, he doesn't seem like much of a good man to me. At least one that is not compatible with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 06:16 AM
11

No. Shaming means you go out of your way to make me feel bad. Not dating me at most just means you leave me alone. The goal of feminism isn't to get women more dates or help women find men. Compared to all other issues out there, guys leaving us alone is such a petty and minor issue. Basically would it be great if feminist guys liked me? Yeah, but I care more about if they fight for my rights. As long as they're doing that, then I already appreciate them just for that and it's cool if they don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 04:44 AM
17

Dating or not dating someone is not assigning value to them. I don't care if feminist men date me or not, as long as they support women's rights and freedom to choose for themselves. Actively going around and putting down women that slept around more, trying to paint them in a bad light is slut shaming. Simply not dating them is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 03:48 AM
20

I had this photo on my dating profile that looked super nice and professional. Everything from the pose, to the background, to lighting was great. Clearly different from my other pictures. All I did was say one day to my friends I think I need better pictures on my dating profile. They immediately took me to a place nearby, told me to pose a couple of ways, snapped like 15 pictures, picked the best one and put a light filter on it. They did that in like 5 minutes and probably never thought about…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 06:46 AM
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Yeah, this needs a wild amount of context or it’s hard to tell the real situation I'm not sure what you mean, but I'm basically trying to say that if I never went went into spaces that talked about dating, since I didn't need dating advice anymore, I would've never even known about stuff that might be a very common experience for other people outside of my social circle. Sometimes it's good to have conversations that's not all about solving a problem in your life. Otherwise once your specific pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 08:50 PM
2

Most ideas here aren't particularly useful in my day to day life, but they can be interesting anyways. Because my circumstances and life are different from a lot of people here. For dating advice, the best people to go to are people that know you and your situation best. For me it was my parents and some friends that were similar to me. For PPD, the goal is to understand people. For example, it was news to me that commitment is considered hard to get for some people, because that have always bee…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 07:02 AM
7

Not looking for advice. This is a debate sub right? I'm here to be exposed to and talk about different ideas I might not otherwise be exposed to in real life since most people I hang around also thinks like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 04:53 AM
28

I mean, there are definitely positives to have children young like you mentioned. But at the end of the day, the best thing you can do is to be a good parent, which means you have to be in a good place mentally and financially, and most importantly want to be a parent. Ideally you're married or living with someone that is also a good parent and want to be a parent. If you reach that place earlier in life, then great! But if you're not there yet, the cons of not being ready to be a parent, and pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:57 PM
1

It's generally how you create a family. Not just talking about children, your spouse becomes family too. It's nice to have more family.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:49 PM
2

Don't date anyone that puts you through hell regardless? What kind of dumb exchange is "I'll do more work later so I'm gonna put you through hell unnecessarily right now"? Similarly expecting someone to do more work later because you had to chase more at the beginning is dumb, since they often never agreed to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 03:43 PM
14

It means he views sex as a recreational activity that can be done with minimal emotional connection, and I don't. That stark contrast in how we view sex makes us incompatible. The point and role sex plays in our lives are too different, and given I will be having a sexual relationship with this guy for life (at least that is the goal whether it ultimately works out or not), that's just dumb. It's like one person believes in investing money and compounding interest and another person feels like m…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 03:26 PM
19

I don't date anyone that has casual sex because we'll be sexually incompatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:26 AM
2

Not really. I don't seek women owned company out, but if I find out it's women owned I feel a little boost in mood, like a "neat!" response.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 06:19 PM
8

I think it's sex drive and how we think about sex. I'm very prudish and only wants to have sex with someone I have a very strong emotional connection with. Before I have that connection, I just don't have sexual desire at all. So I can go forever without sex if I happen to not have someone I have that close bond with. I have no bad experience with sex or dating at all, I just have a high threshold for me to hit sexual desire. I have friends that have lots of casual sex, and they just like sex an…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 06:15 PM
3

I think I'm someone that can build a pretty good relationship with more than 50% of age appropriate men with a similar upbringing as me. But I don't really like men unless I get to know them really well, since just the physical part of someone doesn't stir anything in me if I don't know them as a person. I see guys that I would be open to knowing better pretty often. The issue is the vast majority of them are in a relationship already (since I'm a really late bloomer), or I don't really know the…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 09:36 AM
1

I'm definitely less rebellious compared to other kids and kinda your typical "good kid" growing up. For some reason I didn't feel very restricted as a kid by the same things other kids might (I think I just don't have strong opinions on little things or how things gets done as long as it gets done). My parents definitely made a lot of decisions for me, but they were mostly pretty good decisions. They got it wrong once in a while and I remember feeling some frustration those times, but it's norma…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 09:24 AM
1

I mean... being a child IS really great. Life is overall easier with more free time and less responsibilities. It's very easy to understand why you want to hold onto that and I would totally go back to childhood if I can. But also, life just change a lot during the high school -> college -> work time periods. Lots of major major changes, so it makes sense that each year is impactful and people that are just a few years apart feel like they're at very different life stages. For many people now, e…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 06:45 AM
2

I think this question has been asked to women many times. Most women don't care how you treated past gfs as long as how you treat her now meets or is above what she wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 05:34 AM
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My husband complains about this all the time. I'm useless when it comes to vacation planning. I planned a birthday trip for him once and there were so many logistical oversights he spent the whole week bailing us out of all of that. I think it's totally fair to complain. Making sure everything goes smoothly and thinking of all potential issues and having contingencies in place is hard and I appreciate that he's good at it and does it for us without me asking or having to think about it most of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 08:19 PM
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Some good acts do not erase your bad acts. The most horrible people in history still treated some people well.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 08:06 PM
1

Yeah. I never thought I needed any healing, but I had a number of self improvements I wanted to feel like I'm at a good place before I had any interest in dating and bringing someone else into the picture. Basically for a long time I had no interest in dating because I didn't feel like I had grown to a place where I wanted to have a partner nor had the capacity to care about them in a way that is fair to them. Specifically I wanted my career to be in a good place, I wanted to get better at socia…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 03:25 AM
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Nice to have some perspective right? Maybe you should give yourself more credit :)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 07:18 PM
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No one is forcing these men to be with these women though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 06:45 PM
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Like once a year. 34. Probably average in looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 06:40 PM
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Saitama?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 10:05 PM
1

Because social skills is the most important trait. A relationship is basically socializing. While intelligence is attractive: Often it takes someone with similar intelligence to appreciate it. Or at least showcased in a way/medium they understand. Like only people that are sufficiently good at chess can appreciate or identify high level play when they see it. While being intelligent helps your social skills, since a lot of social interactions require wit and quick thinking. Often when people str…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 07:55 PM
4

Mostly scared. Creepy itself is a feeling that stems from fear, so if I feel creeped out for whatever reason, there has to be some level of fear. I would never reject a creepy guy harshly, since I'm scared so I normally try to leave the situation quickly and peacefully. solely because he actually loves you This is a scary sentiment. Because there's no way he actually loves me, he might be attracted to me but he doesn't love me. No one actually loves someone else they barely know anything about. …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 10:02 PM
1

4
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 06:26 PM
3

It does advance thought and change minds, but if you were never finding success it's probably not the place to start. If you're finding it hard to pass the final exam of a class, and you're debating the curriculum with professors or the education board, while your experience is valuable input, this is not the best way to pass the exam if that is your real goal. The debate might enlighten you or be enlightened by you participating, but it's goal is not to help you pass or teach you what is taught…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 07:32 PM
4

Children still go with the father's last name traditionally. Although lots of people are opting out of that now too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 01:17 AM
30

In my culture the wife doesn't take the husband's last name. I thought everyone in America was married to their own sibling or something when I was young. But yeah, no I like my name. I spent my whole life writing and associating myself with this name, why change it?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 08:56 PM
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Get into the type of relationship you want with people that meet your preferences/requirements.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 06:46 PM
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Preferences kind of become requirements if you can attain them consistently enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 04:56 PM
9

Friends start with acquaintances though, and the willingness to just big them for whatever. How will you banter with them and have them be there for you for big things if you're not willing to bug them for random minor things consistently? Whatever it is, someone like my mom got a lot closer to them than I ever did over a much longer time. Also, for me it seems hard to find someone to go out with whenever. I feel like I need them to be someone that super wants to do the same activity, to be sure…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 11:59 AM
19

I think our awkward meter is too sensitive these days. I lived in my neighborhood for 2 years and said hi to some of my neighbors, met them a few times and generally say hi when. I see them. I thought that was pretty good. My mom came to visit for 2 months and she is now best friends with half the neighborhood. We needed some tool and was gonna buy it from Amazon and she was like "oh no, I'm sure this person has it", ran out, and came back in 15 minutes with it. And lots of random examples like …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 05:50 AM
1

I mean, I bet most anti-capitalist men would accept a high paying job offer in tech or health insurance too. Most people want and will accept more things if you give it to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:52 AM
1

I like feminine prettyboys too. When you're more socially awkward you tend to like people that look and act less intimidating or "safer" both physically and socially.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 07:49 PM
2

But the male gender is the specialized gender of sexually reproducing organisms, female is default. In asexual organisms all organisms resembles a female. The female has all the organs to reproduce and nurture offspring, we have a male gender for the purposes of enforcing sexual reproduction and therefore genetic diversity. XX is the standard chromosome and the Y chromosome is a specialized chromosome for sexual diversity.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 05:57 AM
1

I know girls get more matches than guys for many reasons. I have lots of male coworkers and friends and I know their match rates. Although 17 in 10 years is pretty extreme, there can be different reasons for that. If I was your friend IRL I'll probably try to troubleshoot it or find a better path for you, but I don't know enough about you. But if it's not working out for you then don't do it. I know going to clubs or large parties would never work for me, so I don't do it. Online dating happens …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 05:51 AM
5

Then host a DnD / Dinner party for 5 people instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 04:19 AM
1

Online dating. It worked well for me since I didn't have to give hints that I like someone or approach. They know I like them if I matched with them. Got rid of the initial ritual of sussing out if both of you liked each other which I hated. But you have to be realistic with what online dating can do. It knows very little information about you and him, and you both made the decision to like each other with very little information. So at the end of the day, a match means very little. The point of…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 04:07 AM
1

For online dating I think it's ok, and rather efficient. First dates for online dating are pretty low stakes to begin with and I personally am very slow in growing attached to someone so I don't go into first dates emotionally attached to begin with. Both for me, and I want him to keep his options open too at that stage. Since if he can meet someone that he likes more than me during that limited amount of time, we're probably not meant to be. Better to have that happen sooner than later. Only is…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 02:10 AM
2

Honestly where they live, what their job is, and generation. Behavior wise people act pretty similarly. Most people have basic manners on the surface. I don't know any right wing people intimately to know much below the surface.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 05:44 PM
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I don't date people that has casual sex (sex w/o emotional connection) because someone like that would be sexually incompatible with me. So this would be a subset of that. At the same time it depends on your mentally going into it. I can sympathize a bit with someone that did it because he was desperate or confused. Still, I would rather date someone that had a sexual history similar to my own.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 06:18 PM
30

No, I want biological kids. If he doesn't like my genetics then he shouldn't be with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 06:40 AM
6

Life tip, if someone is a bad friend (eg. the friendship is one sized and they expect you to put in most of the effort) that person will be a bad partner too.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 06:43 PM
1

There can be some truth to that. There's some patterns common amongst boys and girls, but honestly everyone thrives with different methods of teaching. It's a good idea in general to explore different teaching methods. I think we're working on it, there's already a lot more projects, hands on assignments (eg. build a machine rather than memorize equations in physics), and gamified learning. In the past boys were taught with old methods regardless, and there were always boys that were more attune…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 05:46 PM
0

Of course not. There's a lot more to a person than if they can attract a partner. Most of the guys I admire most in real life, I never even think about their dating life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 03:21 PM
1

When I said bad reputation I'm talking about society in general's opinion of "will you be a danger to me or not". Not about if the opposite sex will date them. If a pro athlete starts acting crazy vs an average woman, people will try to neutralize the pro athlete first because he can do more damage. We also think wealthier people will have more to lose if they actually go unhinged or crazy so we're a bit less afraid of them vs someone that is in poverty. But that's true for both men and women. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 08:52 PM
2

Sometimes people do say stuff that is not aligned with reality and not really the best way to deal with their problems. But when women say things like that, a lot of people just let her think that. It's not really worth fighting her over it, because it really only hurts her at the end of the day. Unless she's a friend or family member, often it's not worth getting into a confrontation about it. I'm not sure why it's different for men. Most of the time when men say stuff like that we leave them a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 05:46 PM
10

A stay at home parent is not the hardest job, but there are a lot of jobs easier than that. Granted my kid is under 3 so maybe it gets a lot better after that and time frees up after they start school. I was only a stay at home mom (extended my mat leave) for a while just to try it. Both mine and my husband's job is a lot easier than childcare. We work a normal 40 hr week though, and work is pretty chill. It depends on how much you hate your job I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:55 PM
4

Yes: Watches porn 3X a week Feminist Refuses to use marijuana Very quiet Never kissed a girl Always has messy room 5 years younger than me Voted for Kamala Harris Believes that reincarnation is real First name same as my ex (right now I don't have an ex, so maybe my answer would change if I do) No: Uses marijuana once a month Dislikes physical exercise Doesn't believe gay marriage should be legal Believes abortions should be illegal Lives 1000 miles away Currently in a gang 5ft 5 Police officer …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 10:30 PM
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Meh, I'm fine with being low maintenance as long as he's also low maintenance. A relationship is supposed to be relaxing and feels like home. It's really not that complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 06:01 PM
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What do you mean? Do people try to convince you to continue to date a girl if she was rude to you on the date or ghosts you?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 07:41 PM
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If someone is rude to you, or ghosts you, that can be below your threshold of "bare minimum standards of human behavior" and you don't have to date or be friends with them. I don't actually know any guy that continued dating a girl that was rude on a date or ghosted them. That's just normal human behavior across the board. Some people (men and women) are desperate and might deal with rude people more than others, but no one will hold it against you if you break it off with a girl that ghosted yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 06:33 PM
2

Just because you can find someone to pay for you doesn't mean you do it. If it brings joy to the guy to pay for me and it's something he actually wants to do, then sure I won't fight it. But if it's just something he feels like he has to do but don't really want to, then I wouldn't want him to do it. At the end of the day he's a person too, and just like dealing with any other person, it's not nice to try to get the most out of them just because you can. There are a lot of people that's willing …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 04:46 PM
1

It depends on the man and why he's rich. Basically we like to date people that are similar to us. People who suddenly got rich will still date based on their past preference regardless of money. But the vast majority of high income men are probably that way because his family and friends are that way. He clicks better with women that are similar to him in income and professional status. There's also some other reasons. I'm not a guy but I'm going off what my friends and brother tells me, and wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 04:35 PM
1

Yeah, most people that make $200k+ in a HCoL area also have a spouse that makes at least $100k. Not only because it's expensive to live in those areas, the culture is also such that it's very uncommon for a family to just have 1 person working.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 11:23 PM
3

You do reduce your dating pool more as you earn more if you're not willing to date down. Something strange happens when you hit a certain income though. At some point the number of men earning this amount and above significantly outnumber the number of women earning this amount. Most well off men are willing to date down, but not that much down, so your options increase. Not sure if this will continue with women being more educated and starting to out-earn men on all levels, but that's the situa…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 11:21 PM
1

Depends on what you want. I haven't tried the specific things you linked. But I do work at one of the companies that is on the forefront of developing new AI models, and get to try the newest models from that perspective. I never tried to flirt with it for treat it as a romantic partner, but I do interact with AI a lot. What I find is that they can seem very advanced and human-like at first. But if you talk to it long enough, after like a week it's becomes very obvious it's not a person. You can…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 08:40 PM
–

As a woman I think being strong and physically capable is more satisfying than being pretty. It doesn't give you as many benefits as being pretty, but it's darn satisfying being able to move how you want to move and just be competent with your own body.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 10:35 PM
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I've worked and studied in a male dominated field for a long time. Bring it up the first natural chance you get. Like bring him up when you talk about what you're doing over the weekend or evening plans. After you mentioned him once, don't bring it up again unless it's super relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 10:30 PM
2

What kind of 26 year old fights with a 4 year old over her dad at graduation? For my graduating class I feel like no one's bf/gf was there unless they're graduating right along side with them. Like the idea of a boyfriend having to attend my graduation never crossed my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 08:19 PM
1

Except he didn't go to her and started looking at redpill stuff instead. If he's just read 1 or 2 articles out of curiosity that's one thing, but depending on how deep down the rabbit hole he is and the length and depth of the relationship, the most sensible thing for both men and women to do at this point is to reconsider the relationship. Actions do have consequences, that includes surrounding yourself with the wrong people and influences. Women are not immune from that either.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 05:41 AM
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I don't know anyone in my circle that's willing to just leave the country just to find a wife. Most people have too much going on. Also most couples I know are both high earning, so no one is very interested in finding a spouse that they need to financially carry to that extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:10 PM
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Being lonely and insecure isn't malicious by itself, it's how you deal with that feeling that speaks to who you are. FDS content tend to be anti-men in the same way redpill is anti-women, which basically means you consider the opposite gender to be an opposition of some sort and problem to solve. While this isn't as terrible as... say actually acting on those feelings and actively harming someone, it's not a good sign of how they deal with problems. Depending on how deep the relationship is, it …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:07 PM
–

That's fine. Thanks for donating and you deserve your sense of moral superiority. Much better than people who don't donate at all like myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 08:28 PM
–

Over the course of a lifetime, it's very realistic for a guy to be able to attract more than 1 woman. Even if it's a woman using him for something specific then leaving. Depending on someone never being able to attract someone or get the opportunity to cheat is not a good plan.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 07:11 PM
1

Regardless of education requirements I admire them and think they're underappreciated. I get paid a lot more to do things that are way less important.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 03:20 AM
4

I am a very childish person and love the idea of having lots of fun and doing little work. And for 28 years of my life I happily did that. But I didn't try to date anyone during that time because I was aware it's not fair for me to bring someone into my life because I know I won't care about them them as much as I should, I had no mental capacity to think about someone else. Then one day I just wanted to be different. I wanted to add more content and responsibility into my life because I suddenl…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 08:17 PM
1

If someone's morality allows them to cheat in the first place, not going to clubs is not going to stop them. What's an exhausting way to live if you're that paranoid, how is that relationship worth that much paranoia and the mental energy to keep that up? There's no way of knowing if your spouse has poisoned your food every time you eat it, are you going to do a poison test every time you eat or keep track of everything they buy? And if you're to the point where you're willing to do that, why wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 03:47 AM
16

I thought most of you gen z kids don't go out anymore?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:49 PM
8

Do you want to be with someone if the only reason they're not cheating is because they never had the opportunity to?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:48 PM
–

Just dating is kind of low commitment. You don't need to be that sure to simply go on dates. If it's clear you wouldn't want to date her then obviously don't, but if you think you might or not sure, then that's when you go on dates to find out more.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 03:11 PM
2

Are teens no longer excited to go into their 20's? I thought 30 is the decade most people are scared of.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 08:52 AM
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You still date. I guess I'm demisexual since I can't really feel sexual attracted to someone until I know them well and feel emotionally connected. I still go on dates, the point of dates is to get to know them better. You can wait to have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 08:48 AM
1

Emotional availability is not the same thing as having emotional breakdowns or having emotional issues. It just means taking your emotions seriously and head on rather than avoiding it. Acknowledging your stress, sadness, happiness, excitement etc. towards stuff, rather than being indifferent to it. You can do that while being a very happy, mentally healthy and emotionally regulated person.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 11:24 PM
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That's just a government run matchmaking service.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 06:16 PM
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This used to bother me, but we all got older and we eventually all get partnered up with kids, it's not as much of a problem anymore. I think guys are confused on how to interact with women themselves when they're in their teens and 20's. I think most of the time it's not malicious, I've done and said really stupid things when I was young too. As novelty of sex / girls goes down and other things in life takes front stage, men chill out a lot more and it's easy to be platonic friends with them no…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 06:11 PM
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If you put two random strangers together chances are they're not going to care about each other lives that much. The point of dating is to spend more time with them so eventually you do care about them on a more personal level. Same with making friends. It's just that with romance, lust creates a strong initial attraction so both sides are willing to try harder at first. But eventually lust can't carry the relationship and you two have to develop a deeper bond and actually care about each other …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 05:59 PM
1

Friends and comrades are the same thing. And most people make friends they can related to and have similar life goals as them. For you, being someone that seem to have certain goals, would obviously enjoy friends with similar goals and can support you. As you hang out with those people more, they become close friends. Some people just want to go to concerts and parties, and wouldn't mesh with people that's more serious. You're just finding your group of people and calling them "comrades" and eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 08:31 PM
1

If you can drop month long or year long relationships for someone at a whim it means that you developed no feelings or attachment to that initial person at all. The core of human affection is going beyond "what you can do for me" analysis. This type of comparison or analysis where people are kind of interchangeable might be common during the initial dating stage (5 dates might not be enough to develop deeper affection), but if it's still like that after months or years, something is really wrong…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 08:19 PM
3

Why does it make a big different if you find out something in adolescence vs a child? I agree that I used a simple example as to highlight how you can observe life is different even from what adults told you. It's not meant to be an exact comparison. Because adults will always bit a bit optimistic and positive towards their kids. Let's take your study example. Your parents told you studying and learning doesn't matter at all. How can you not figure out that's BS when you see other kids studying …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:48 PM
3

Thanks, that would be appreciated. I never go on voice chat and do feel pretty isolated when playing solo queue because of this. I think as more girls started playing games men have gotten less toxic over the years, but I'm still too traumatized to talk even though I'm sure it's a lot better now. My husband's gaming group pretty much adopted me so I don't have to play solo queue anymore. I'm pretty happy if you just don't contribute to the problem and just play the game like if I was a guy. It w…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 07:18 PM
2

Why not? Live with your mom and save up money. Right now I need to pay for a plane ticket and use PTO just to hang out with my parents :(
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 07:10 PM
2

From an evolutionary perspective, it is the default for most species to be competitive and self serving. But humans specifically evolved altruistic traits, empathy, and cooperation. Think about how amazed we are when we see a herd of elephants helping their young, bury their dead, or something like that, or one species helping another species for no reason. Well that kind of stuff is super common for humans we don't even give it a second thought when it happens. The only reason you're disappoint…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 07:07 PM
5

I think one thing that contribute to this is that discussions are now on the internet and global. In real life, I find myself really caring about someone else's problems no matter if I can relate to it or not. Even if I never experienced it or cannot imagine it at all, I try really hard to see things from their perspective even if it's very exhausting for me. But online, when people express their problems and they're not relatable or close to me, it's very easy for me to just not care. Because i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:54 PM
2

Adults will tell you a lot of stuff to you when you're a kid just to make you feel good about yourself. Because happy kids are adorable. My dad told me I was the smartest kid in the world... when I learned how to tie my shoelaces. All the adults around me told me how great and special I was and how I can be whoever I wanted to be and will be successful at anything I want to do. But once I'm able to think critically and hang out with other kids, I can see for myself they are clearly better at doi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:22 PM
1

For me I had no romantic interactions at all. And I think when most people say single in this context they're not talking about single but with a bunch of casual sex. This advice (enjoy your life even when single) is given to women all the time. And when it's given to women, the implication is usually not "stay single but have a bunch of casual sex", it's usually "stay single and focus on non-sexual or romantic things". Sometimes we even advise women to be completely celibate and stop dating alt…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:02 PM
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I can understand why someone would be unhappy without a relationship. But I think it's unhealthy to disregard other enjoyable/happy things in life or dwell on it that much. I was single for the first 28 years of my life, if I let that one thing consume me, I wouldn't have enjoyed my life as much and wouldn't be as happy of a person. Being in a relationship is great, but being single was a big part of my life too and I had great memories from then. Plus my husband is a very cheerful and happy per…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:20 AM
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I had a very strict no guys more than 4 years older than me rule in my early to mid 20's. At that age life changes pretty fast, and it's just more fun to date someone that's similar to you and going through the same stuff and it's what I'm looking for in a relationship. I had a mentor 4 years older than me and I respected him as a source of wisdom so much that it was hard to imagine dating, and therefore treating as an equal, someone the same age as him or older.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:09 AM
3

I don't think people are saying it because they just want to make a new word. I think it's to avoid being demonetized from the algorithm picking up certain words. Some advertisers might filter out stuff related to violence or death.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 10:52 PM
3

I mean yeah, even if you are married not working for most of your adult life is really detrimental and getting half of assets don't mean much when that's a finite resource and you don't have the means to make a good income yourself. Unless the amount of assets is significant enough I guess. This is why everyone told me to not put myself in that situation when I was young. That being said, being in a traditional relationship is a calculated risk, and sometimes it makes sense to take that risk giv…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:04 PM
16

Logically it makes sense that there is a version of a bad relationship that is better than no relationship. The factor most people are deciding on is how bad they think a relationship can potentially go. Men tend to be more fearless when going into a relationship with a woman than vice versa, because men can do more damage than women can just on difference in strength alone. And men are given more leeway to make sexual mistakes. It's not a surprise that given women's worse case scenario vs men's…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:55 PM
1

Wasn't trying to agree or disagree. Obviously men act differently from women while dating, which allows women to act differently too. I was adding some thoughts on the specifics of how women might navigate that using personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 08:06 AM
7

That's because men are willing to date down. I only dated people that made the same amount as me or more, but that's because I know men that made more than me are willing to date me, enough men that the dating pool is large enough for me to select for other positive traits in addition to it. When all else is equal, why wouldn't you want your future family to have more resources? If men suddenly are not willing to date down as much, and if I have to sacrifice significant qualities if I demanded e…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 01:33 AM
1

If I liked this guy, we're not in a relationship or have anything established, and I see them hanging out then yeah I would be a bit threatened that they might get into a relationship first.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:07 PM
2

Ok I think I get it. I lean blue pill, and it seems like the difference is that I think the good men you mention are common and easy to bump into without strategy, while you think they're rare and need more strategy to find and keep.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 01:00 PM
8

This actually sounds pretty bluepill to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 11:49 PM
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An equivalent mother to the type of father you would be. Probably still better.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:01 PM
1

Not now, since I love my husband and no amount of money will make up for losing someone so close like that. Before I had any kind of romance though, maybe like $5 million would convince me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:58 PM
1

I mean I have a pretty low libido too so that would be fine with me. If he had a high libido, and we're mismatched that way, then it's mostly because I don't want him to go without. There's got to be some girl that's just as good as me but match his libido better. It's important for my partner to be truly happy in a relationship with me, not just forcing himself to do things my way. If I had high libido and him low, then yes it's better than no relationship, but that's not my 2 choices and there…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:52 PM
3

You're right that if your partner is making you unhappy either with weaponized incompetence or something else you can just leave. But that's true for all of men's grievances as well. I think most of the time when women are complaining about emotional labor, it is already in a lens of why they want to leave or not be in a relationship. I mostly hear it in the context of "I know I will be expected to do emotional labor, so I won't date or will have my standards high in other areas to make up for i…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 09:24 PM
11

That's great! It feels nice to be able to enjoy all kinds of things in life right? And if an opportunity comes along, it doesn't mean you can't take it, but you can still enjoy your life and live happily regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 08:54 PM
3

Most of the reason that Ivy league schools are good and its alumni has a good reputation is because they only accept top/well off students to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 08:27 PM
3

It is exhausting to be with someone that does not communicate clearly. It absolutely can be! So if both parties find it exhausting to talk to each other, that's all the more reason to have a break up. It's not a trial where someone has to be exclusively at fault more than the other for a break up to happen. Express them clearly first. Then this makes sense. Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. I can't judge without actually knowing the situation. Maybe this can be solved easily by one side communi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 08:25 PM
13

Yes and no, I think some people might need some hand holding with receiving communication and often I do that just in case. But I also think adults and the average person should have general competency in reading context. It's a bit exhausting to be with someone that needs everything spelled out for them. When our partners are not acting when we express our frustrations, usually it means they are either bad at reading emotions / context in general, or they know but don't care about you enough to…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 07:20 PM
1

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, so I assume pure intentions before malicous intentions unless I get sufficiently convincing evidence. I would reply slower / enforce platonic only interactions, so redirect any talk that can be potentially flirting. Not be very responsive. If she keeps it up or breaks plausible deniability of trying to flirt, then maybe approach the friend about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 05:30 PM
1

Still vet and have standards even if you're being passive. If someone randomly shows interest in you, you still have to make sure you like that person and that person is a decent person that you want to be with.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 05:20 PM
1

Although those 3 are different, they are more similar than they are different, and build on top of each other skill wise. We're evolved to be good at it, but like you said that doesn't mean you can't get help and when it comes to humans, a lot of our skills are taught rather than instinctive. My toddler probably has in his DNA the ability to naturally learn to talk if he's around people, that doesn't stop me from trying to teach him words, point at stuff and say its name deliberately 50 times a …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 05:17 PM
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Something about kids eyeing inheritance money bothers me. I don't want to see a single cent of inheritance money. I want them to live ridiculously long lives and to have splurged all the money to enjoy their lives as much as possible. I guess I want them to "die with zero" too much because they were able to spend all the money on themselves. I don't want any part of that money.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:47 PM
3

I'm even ignoring some of the really extreme takes since I know there's outliers and extremists in every group. But even the relatively moderate ones are very skewed towards dating issues, like they're willing to ignore all other unfair things towards men as long as there are unfair things against women too that would make it easier for them to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 03:49 AM
6

Yeah, when I first heard of the men's rights movement I was very glad something like that exists. I felt like men had a lot of legitimate issues and it's good that they have a group to advocate for those issues like women had with feminism. But then it got overrun by dating issues and it felt like the men in the community cared more about getting a date than anything else. Often more obsessed with weakening women than lifting up men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 02:41 PM
0

Decentering something doesn't mean you don't do it, it just means it's not the main thing you care about in your life. I have a job but I don't center my work. I don't tie my self worth to my job. If I get laid off I would be sad, but not devastated because there's a bunch of other stuff in life I care about that makes me happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 02:30 PM
1

I think very few people intend to be single moms. But some people might kinda just go with the flow or let feelings of love take over without being super intentional in vetting the guy, since it feels too calculated and less passionate. Young people also are more likely to act impulsively so it's worth reminding.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 02:24 PM
2

So people shouldnt run from a bad parent for the sake of having two parents? No, you should leave a bad parent. Sometimes life happens and unideal situations happen and you make the best of it. But if you're thinking of having a child, you should try to set yourself up to have the highest success rate. Which means at least aiming for a 2 parent household, and not just 2 parents, but good extended families like good grandparents / aunts and uncles etc. Also making sure the other parent is the typ…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 12:10 AM
2

I think you and FearlessSea just have a different definition of the total scope of "events". You are defining events as just within the scope romantic interactions you're involved, while she is defining events as a set of all events that may happen that could lead up to a successful relationship. You tend to have a lot of control and influence over the romantic interactions you take part in and can create, but if you include all of the chance encounters that led to all these romantic interaction…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 12:00 AM
2

I don't mind paying for myself at all and proactively offer to split the bill because I know it's an awkward thing for the guy to bring up. But I'm not looking for a provider so obviously I wouldn't select for the desire to pay during the dating process. But you were specifically talking about women that are looking for providers. In that case there is value in asking the man to pay and gauge his reaction. When someone agrees to go on a date with you, you get their time, time they can use to get…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 05:16 AM
1

I get that you need a lot of money to support a lot of kids. But most rich people don't have as many kids as they can afford. If you have 4-5 kids you have a lot of kids relative to the general population already. I'm talking about the correlation between wealth and kids across the whole population, not comparing how many kids the richest people have vs the poorest people.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 08:28 PM
1

I don't see that correlation, I see the exact opposite. I'm around a pretty wealthy crowd ($300k - $1.5M household income) and it's usually 1-2 kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 08:10 PM
1

Also I want to add. As someone that can hire a nanny, surrogate etc. well the pregnancy part I'm cool with outsourcing (although other women really enjoy pregnancy, I could do without). But a lot of the fun and happy emotions from raising kids come from raising them. If you outsource too much the experience becomes different. Like Elon, you might just be having kids just to have kids, or have them as trophies or some kind of high score instead of actually because you want to experience this thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 08:09 PM
2

Elon has his own agenda, and most people are not billionaires that has essentially a endless money hack. Any money you spend towards kids usually means you spend less elsewhere. The greater trend is that wealthier people tend to have less kids across the world. Doesn't mean they have no kids, but you can still have all your parenting fun with not as many kids. I am around pretty wealthy people with a household income of around $300k - $1.5M. Most only have 1-2 kids but give them a high quality o…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 08:03 PM
2

Not surprising. Rich people also have less kids on average. Turns out kids are a lot of work and if you have the luxury to plan your life, even if you enjoy being a parent, you want to balance the experience of kids with other fun things you can experience in life as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 07:53 PM
2

Yes, this is a great idea. A person is so much more than just their romantic relationships. I wish more men do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 07:27 PM
6

If you're only "decentering" women to impact women's behavior, by definition you're not decentering women, you're super centering them because now it's all about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 07:23 PM
13

For this discussion I will group non cis white men as "marginalized group" and cis white men as ... well cis white men. I think you're saying that you wish liberals treat you just as well as marginalized groups because you are an ally of marginalized group, and you feel it's unfair for them to punish you for not being a part of the marginalized group even though you support and want to ally with them. Personally I think that makes sense, and I think a lot of people will treat you well for being …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 06:38 PM
1

Honestly I don't mind that much. I think in many situations I would put my parents above my husband too. By default I respect older generations a lot, especially parents. I also expect parents and in laws to be more reasonable and wiser than myself or my husband. So in a conflict I tend to listen to them simply because I think it's more likely for them to be right and I trust them to have our best interest at heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:44 PM
1

Or you can just ask to split the bill without treating it like some strategic operation. Although people spend money without a guarantee all the time. I help people out all the time without an expectation to be paid back. But if I was a guy I would think it's unfair that it's always me and I might ask to split the bill or at least take turns paying. Most guys will fight you to pay though, or assume if I paid it means I'm not interested in a second date. Many people just go with the flow, and of …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 11:08 PM
2

That's another topic which is the whole debate on who pays. Personally I don't see a reason why men has to pay by default and I tend to offer to split the bill anyways no matter how the date goes. But if the agreement or understanding between you two is that you're paying, it's kinda sad to ask for money back if she doesn't want to continue to date you. The traditional agreement when a man pays is that he is paying for the woman's time on a first date. You're not paying for her to give you a sec…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 09:02 PM
23

If a woman doesn't like the man enough that she wants to leave early. Wouldn't it be in the man's best interest that she just go rather than leading him on? Being rude is wrong, but if she's mature about it I think it's in both of their best interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 02:50 PM
2

Thanks. I share more common interests with men, but I naturally feel closer to women. I can talk about specific topics with men for hours and hours and really enjoy myself, and are often bored and don't have much to say when my girl friends are talking about their areas of interest. But at the end of the day when I have problems or need emotional support, I go to my girl friends. My oldest closest friends are women. If I enter a room full of strangers, my instinct is to go and find a group of gi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 02:48 AM
2

It changes a lot depending on where I am in life. It was school, then work, then my relationship, then kids. Although those are my core "focuses", I have always spent the most time just playing and pursuing whatever it is I have the most fun with at the moment. Most of the time it's video games adjacent, like building a PC, training to get better at whatever game I'm into at the time, making my own games, table top RPGs or at one point I was super into esports and being involved in that communit…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 03:27 PM
2

You seem to think women wants infinite money, and I feel like my experience with women earning around the same as me is different. Obviously my peers and I have very little financial struggles or pure financial stress. Which is why I thought we should distinguish what level of wealth we're talking about since it impacts behavior. In my situation, more money often doesn't do much. Yes, there is a level of lifestyle above mine, but I don't think it's worth sacrificing anything material to get more…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 08:37 PM
1

Do we have to talk in bananas? Real numbers are easier to relate to and we can more easily imagine the life situations of our examples. Like you said the type of lifestyle, upbringing, and habits matter, it's not just about relative numbers in income. Anyways, I'm not sure I completely understand what you're saying. But it seems like you're implying that a woman can find someone that makes more than her (1.5 -> 4), but not ridiculous more than her (1.5 -> 40). Which is true, men don't want to da…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 05:57 AM
4

Not really, I'm not sure about the new wave of new grads with there being more women in college and stuff now. But I'm in my mid 30's and the number of high earning men out number the number of high earning women. I make around $400k, and so do my coworkers. Most of them are men and is willing to date down, but not that much down. So they're looking for like $150k or up. I help introduce them to my friends since I have some high earning friends that fits their criteria, but the demand to be intr…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 11:33 PM
1

I guess. I just assumed they will be agreeable and go along with me. But like... If it's a meh marriage. Can I just go off to the city with my new job alone? I know some couples are are separated because of work. Like the mom and kid is in America for the kid I guess but the dad is making good money in their home country. I assume if the marriage is meh we are living like roommates anyways. Hosting parties it can just be whoever is hosting it takes primary? Like if it's his friends or family the…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:26 PM
1

As long as he doesn't make my life worse, then a meh marriage. Because it will just be like being single but with an extra person around to help out occasionally right?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 06:51 PM
3

It happens, the younger you is easier to impress. Now all the new stuff you play is probably similar to something you played already so it's not as cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 05:17 AM
1

Pretty much unlimited. All you can eat crab places fear me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 01:59 AM
–

Meh she's 20, when you're 20 a 3 year age gap seems pretty high. Since you're in college that will mean the other person is either already working / graduated or in high school, which feels like worlds apart. An age gap of 3 years seems more normal after you're out of school. That age gap seems ok to me now, but I definitely wouldn't have dated anyone 3 years older than me when I was 20.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 10:14 AM
1

I'm older than him and my career took off before his did. So basically anytime we went anywhere I would pay for everything. I bought him a laptop, a Nintendo switch, and a all inclusive resort trip to Mexico as a graduation gift.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 05:46 AM
2

He better, I paid for so much of his stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 01:08 AM
–

No, it's just like doing a group project with a friend. Except the group project is life stuff. It should be relaxing and you should feel great having a back up for a lot of stuff you used to tackle yourself. Stuff like being burnt out or getting sick feels a lot better because you can just shut down for a bit while the other person takes over. You'll need teamwork skills like communication, compassion, emotional intelligence, and compromise like you would when dealing with any other human. You …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:36 PM
–

Kinda
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:28 PM
–

Definitely break up, this is a huge dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:27 PM
1

I would be very disappointed in him. But if that's how he feels, I don't want him to be in a situation he feels uncomfortable in. Since there's no kids that makes it a lot better so I'm just glad for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:23 PM
1

The trick is to have a higher tolerance for mess than he does.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 02:47 AM
–

That's still around $80k but that's closer to $50k than I thought. Living in a HCOL area totally screwed up my down payment expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 05:35 PM
–

Your down payment's $50k?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 05:28 PM
–

I know mortality is natural but it's hard to face in reality. I'm not very independent though, I'm a big baby but I love this lifestyle and don't want to let go.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 05:26 PM
–

Ask your parents to ask your grandma
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 04:35 PM
–

I'm not religious, and if there's proof that God exists then yeah I would change my actions to fall in line with whatever religion that is. Except extreme cases like making me hurt a loved one or something. Basically depending on the nature of the God I might act more like I have a gun to my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 04:31 PM
–

My parents are around 63 right now and I'm 34. I'm already sad they're aging and what that means for how long I have left with them. And obviously at my age I'm much less dependent on them and have a family of my own already. I assume this feeling will be even stronger if I was a teenager. I also feel bad my kids won't have as long with them as I did with my grandparents. They used to be like superheroes for me you know, it's strange to be "stronger" than them (although they're still the ones ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 04:27 PM
1

Lol, my mom said she would have to pay someone to take me off her hands when I was younger. My biggest value is that I make a lot of money (~$400k/yr), but if I was sold illegally they probably won't let me work in a legit job like I have now... so not a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 07:20 PM
2

I know that money makes everything easier, including funerals and dealing with death. But in this situation, the death of a parent is a type of pain that money can't diminish. I'm not saying that a poor person doesn't have it worse if a parent dies, but a rich person's money won't erase the main thing that matters and I don't see any reason that sympathy for them should be meaningfully diminished.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 07:17 PM
2

Ok I agree that rich people have it a lot easier but your example shows why they need just as much sympathy. Your parents died, can you imagine someone telling you it's not as bad because at least you can buy them a fancy coffin and a nice headstone? Your parents, the ones that raised and loved you your whole life is gone, money or fancy things are not going to make the grief any less. You will have some luxuries, but none of that matters compared to the grief of losing your parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 06:19 PM
1

My go to is: "Hi, my name is _______, [one thing I like about him]".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 06:30 PM
28

I don't want a matriarchy. Abuse of power is bad no matter who's doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 08:08 PM
2

No, but maybe just because he looks mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 05:52 PM
2

I'll have it mostly figured out by the time the date ends. But I might spend 10 minutes thinking it over and making sure my initial instincts makes sense. If there's something I'm on the fence about I might call my parents or friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 10:51 PM
2

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 06:35 PM
1

It's mostly luck, we're both techies that went in at the right time and tech still pays a lot if you're experienced and not laid off.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 04:15 PM
2

Older women were always the nicest to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 04:04 PM
1

Are you really saying it's unfair someone that is a high earner married another high earner?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 03:46 PM
3

It's not hard to marry a high earner if you are one yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 08:42 AM
1

That will be a paycut for him so not too excited at that pay specially. However if you dial that up to a money amount that excites me, then I can deal with that for a while. I trust him to treat me well (always have parents and friends that would keep tabs as a contingency if he suddenly turns even though I can't imagine it right now) and I can just spend the time playing down my video game backlog, hang out with my son, maybe remote work a bit if I miss work too much. Then back to the US and we…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 08:10 AM
1

No, plenty of my guy friends fall into this category.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 06:47 AM
4

People tolerate more childish tendencies from women than men. In fact a lot of men actively rewards women for acting a child-like way. For example, women that cry and act weak often get more attention and help compared to one that is more stoic. It's not a great system but that's how it is right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:20 PM
3

Then just say that. You're not sure, but you can be a bit awkward. That was the case for me too. I also have a lower sex drive than most girls, which could be a legitimate dealbreaker for some people, which is why it's still a good idea to investigate.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:13 PM
4

Having some red flags isn't the end of the world.I don't think that makes you low value or anything, it just means it's not the norm and it's often wise to look into why. I had red flags, my husband had red flags, most people have some red flags because most people have something that's outside of "normal".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:08 PM
6

25, this is just a vague number in your mid-20's. I only picked this number because I feel like most people had at least 1 relationship by then so not having a relationship by then is odd and needs looking into. That doesn't necessarily mean it's bad, but a flag is just something that catches your attention to be investigated further. I'm saying this as someone that didn't get into a relationship until I was 28. I totally expected guys to consider that red flag and go into dating me questioning …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:03 AM
2

But if you just plainly refuse to believe me when I tell you my opinion, when specifically asked for my opinion, no productive conversation can be had here. Regardless, I gain or lose nothing if you believe me or not. Your value system is different from mine. You see things like well known as good things, while I'm a super introvert and hate the spotlight so a well known husband would really mess with my lifestyle. We might live in different worlds, I have no idea what 2A guys are, what ATF is, …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 06:53 AM
2

Goku is great. But I guess because I saw DBZ as a young child Gohan was more of my age when I first watched the show, and I can think of him as a peer and Goku was more of a guardian / adult figure to look up to. I remember being very gleeful during the cell saga when the announcer said he was 11 years old because that was exactly my age and I was happy we were the same age (childhood crush things). Lots of people hates on how he stopped fighting when he grew up, but I liked that about him. He's…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 10:59 PM
2

We literally have homosexual and asexual people that exists which naturally wouldn't pass down their DNA at all. Mutations and the nature of sexual reproduction itself is there to ensure there is diversity in the population. That combined with the fact that lots of women reproduced not because they wanted to or liked the life, but because she needed a man to survive in the past. Same reason why there are more homosexuals than you think there should be given their sexuality would drive them to no…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:29 PM
5

Not particularly. I mostly have anime crushes. Gohan from DBZ was a pretty big crush.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:32 PM
6

I'm not surprised that slutty Henry Cavill isn't having trouble finding women. Because not everyone is against dating slutty people, and many people likes dating attractive people. Out of the entire population of the world, of course you'll have a good amount of people that is willing to date that. Just like slutty hot girls don't have problems finding good husbands. Someone asked me a question, I answered it. If you don't want to believe it then nothing I can or want to do about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:30 PM
11

Nope, there's only so much that money and looks can do before diminishing returns. But if I marry someone that is not compatible with me will subtly or very explicitly chip at my happiness for the rest of my life. I honestly have enough money and is married to a good looking enough guy that there's not much more happiness to get by adding more to those 2 attributes. Henry Cavill doesn't do much for me, if I was on a first date with him and he tries to kiss me, I would pull back just as I would w…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 10:46 AM
31

No for me at least. But my standards are very prudish. I don't date anyone who is open to casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:06 AM
2

There's definitely women that enjoy or exclusively want casual dating. But the number of men that are open to casual dating outnumber women. So both sides will feel the effects of this imbalance if your intention is to casually date.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:03 AM
9

I don't want to nitpick on terminology, but to me having doubt about someone doesn't mean I don't trust that person. I can be 98% sure and still call that having a small amount of doubt. Trust but verify is inherently not 100% trusting. I work in information security and we use that term all the time when it comes to authentication and stuff. It's just a buzz word, we're absolutely verifying because of a lack of trust. Which is fine. And in the context of a corporate environment, nobody cares be…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:19 PM
1

I mean, the first guy that showed interest in me was also the first guy that showed me interest in 26 years. But I think we have different personalities, you seem to want to jump into things while I'm more reserved and held back.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:04 PM
12

How are those different things? I feel like possibility that this child is not mine is exactly the same thing as I have doubt this child is not mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:01 PM
1

lol, if you didn't agree that you're in a relationship so fast then you could've had more experience dating like me! I moved very slow because I was so new to dating so I was like a timid animal just poking around and quickly pulled back when I went out of my comfort zone... like when guys tried to hold my hand and stuff. Hopefully I won't have to, but if I had to date again, I can probably move faster now that I know how dating works better and be more comfortable with romantic dynamics and rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:56 PM
10

It can be both. It definitely IS an accusation of some sort, there's no way around that. Asking for a paternity test means you have some doubt, even if it's 2%, that the child is not yours. It's normal to feel insulted and unhappy when someone tries to verify something where the only possible reason it would need verification is because you did something unscrupulous. Especially since pregnancy giving birth is such a huge ordeal, and they really like you, trust you, and expect your trust back. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:49 PM
1

I started dating at the age of 26, as in that's when I had my first date ever. I was successful in getting a boyfriend 2 years after when I was 28. In my experience, I don't think I missed out on much. I still got all the formative experiences my friends did, just later. It's just like watching a movie or playing a game later than your friends. Same experience, just later and maybe with more spoilers. It does feel weird because people expect you to know or have experienced certain things, so you…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:33 PM
–

I wish
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 04:25 PM
3

Most people overly filter themselves around me because of how I act and speak. I think my husband does it a bit, but not that much since we're still more alike than different.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 05:29 AM
–

Moderation is key. Humans are meant to live in a community and generally have a large group of people to lean on. But some individualism is healthy. It creates progress if you're allowed to think differently. Plus there will always be people that will be different and won't fit the mold, and a good society takes that into account and tries to channel their differences in a healthy and productive way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 08:02 PM
2

Yeah, while I get that sometimes a guy's trip is important, special, and fun for the guys just like girl's trips are nice for girls. It feels different when it's your dad that excluding you from something especially if a sibling is involved. I'm a tomboy too and would be really sad and possibly scarred if my dad did that to me. Especially at that age. I understand it's not personal now, I understand how people and groups work, and my personal identity and confidence is strong. I was not like tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 06:25 PM
6

Yeah my entire relationship strategy is not as much aiming to bring a lot of value but to not make their lives worse so I net slightly better than them being single. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 05:55 PM
3

Not a surprise. Men fall in love super quick, that was pretty obvious and I remember talking to my friends about noticing that about guys way back in high school. But the bad thing about falling in love super quick is that they don't think it through enough and often falls in love with someone they're not actually compatible with. They also suck at breaking up when they need to. This makes it so that they can initiate and stay in relationships they aren't really happy in, and over time the woman…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 05:04 PM
9

I am one of these women. I'm actually terrible at basic life skills because my parents did everything for me and just told me to focus on studying. I didn't actually realize tables don't clear themselves or laundry doesn't do themselves until I moved to the other side of the country for work. Because even in college my mom would visit every weekend and take care of the basic chores. I made some effort to get better at it in my mid 20's before starting to date because I felt like people should ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 04:58 PM
1

I would not trade away my relationship for winning the lottery just saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 11:48 PM
1

W2's gets screwed over the most by the tax code.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 06:33 PM
1

Whatever you want that's not work. For me I would play more video games, host more game nights, study a subject I'm interested in, maybe get a job in that area but without the pressure of making money. Try other random jobs that don't pay much but I always wanted to try. Go on road trips. Spend more time with my family and parents. Visit my friends in other cities more, visit my extended family more. Do more active stuff like rock climbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 03:28 PM
1

To live in high cost of living areas -_- or to retire early.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 05:13 AM
1

Of course?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 05:31 AM
1

Things change my mind all the time. Based on statistics and logic alone, given the % of knowledge and experiences you had in your life vs the totality of reality, if you never change your mind statistically you are very likely to be wrong. I learn things from the internet all the time, so I don't particularly feel like it's a big enough deal to proactively tell someone they changed my mind if it was just a passing comment. But if I'm in a conversation with someone and there's always some back an…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 08:15 PM
2

There's a difference between wanting to do more financial analysis and saying you want more say in finances. If you're passionate about investing that's great. You can make spreadsheets and implement finance strategies as long as you present them to your wife and she has the ability to object or change your strategy. It's normal for one spouse to do more financial planning because they're more passionate or is better at it. But that doesn't mean they have more say over the money, because the oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 04:34 PM
1

My parents and grandparents are very aware of real estate prices because they buy and sell real estate a lot. They know the market and past trends way better than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 04:26 PM
1

Video games are pretty fun though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:12 AM
1

I thought construction workers are known to be well paid. It's a job that is best suited to young people and takes a toll on your body. Not surprising that it pays well right out the gate.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 10:50 PM
1

If a man doesn't think a woman is worth high effort, then he shouldn't put the effort in. If a guy only wants cheap dates that lead up to sex, then only select for that. If I was looking for a long term relationship, I wouldn't want a guy that only want sex to pursue me anyways, and I wouldn't want him to pretend he's interested in anything more with me just to get sex. We all want different things, and chances are we can find someone else looking for the same things. Just be honest about what y…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:06 PM
2

I'm ok with coffee dates, because coffee is what I want to do. That's the setting I want to get to know someone when I first meet them. If that guy is a low effort guy, or he's not serious, then it will likely show up in other areas and future dates. I don't need to jump the gun and label someone as something based on one data point, when I can gather more relevant data points.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:35 AM
1

We're married, came out of our joint account.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:12 PM
1

We went out for dinner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:54 PM
2

how many dates have you been on with men you are attracted to and how many that you weren't attracted to? Like I said I've only been online dating (with the exception of a couple of date my parents / grandparents introduced me to. So if I matched with someone, I am at least attracted to him on the surface level. That doesn't mean I like him in any meaningful way, since he's just a few pictures and some text on the screen at first. There are some people that I meet and dislike quickly, and I obvi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:44 PM
1

Risk of what? The guy not being a good person? That's something I'll keep a pulse on throughout the dating process. I haven't met many bad people in my life, so I don't go in assuming or looking for bad things. I try to minimize physical risk in a reasonable way (eg. making sure we're meeting in public places, not putting myself in risky situations, filtering for people with traits that are likely to be safe to be around) etc. Other than that if I see concerning signs, or if I don't feel great a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:46 AM
2

I mean online dating is pretty popular now, and you don't really know people you meet from there. I met my husband there and pretty much only have dating experience through online apps so I'm just speaking to what I know. If you are dating someone you already know, then what I said isn't applicable here. And yeah, it's not fun and flirting and attraction if you're essentially meeting a stranger for the first time. Just like you probably won't have too much fun if you went camping with random str…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:38 AM
1

I like doing things the most effective way. The most efficient way to know someone quickly is to just meet them. You get the most value for your time meeting someone in person. You can get some information through text or looking them up online and such, but it's not as efficient. When you're looking for compatibility, do the thing that gives you the biggest chunk of information first. Then you are in a better position to decide if you want to continue and dig deeper.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 10:40 PM
3

Assuming this isn't a first date with someone you already know situation. How would I know if I like someone if I never met them? And you don't have to pay for the date if you don't want to. She can't force you to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 10:36 PM
1

Yeah, when I was single several times a year or so. But for the same reason I mentioned above, acting on desperation is not a good idea. Like I said, does keeping a GF only because you're giving her way more than she gives back actually sexually validating for you? If not then why not just wait those 5 years? One advantage men have is they can take more time to figure things out. Waiting 5 years should matter less to you than me. If you insist then I have no way of stopping you. But the only rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:36 PM
2

Everything goes into joint accounts. We pretend we're 1 person. Makes things simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:19 PM
1

I don't agree with the "I might as well be the one who sits back" thing. There will be people that are unmotivated, but it doesn't HAVE to be you. It's ok with being lazy in a way, but not because it serves some grand purpose, but it's ok if you're happy with where you are. I don't think you should worry yourself with what happens if everyone tried harder, you trying harder or not isn't going to change society fundamentally. I'm someone that is competitive and keep thriving for more even when I …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:36 AM
2

No problem with that either. I don't really crave sexual validation much. Especially if the sexual validation means the other person takes and never gives. Even if you do care about sexual validation a lot, is it even that sexually validating to be in a relationship if the only reason you're in it is because you give way more? In my experience good people wouldn't want to keep taking without giving back. You are self selecting for people that are willing to hurt you if think like this. I'm not s…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:28 AM
1

Although that's true in theory, it's not true practically. Some people will always be lazy or lack motivation. As an individual you can take advantage of that by doing just a bit better than normal. When I was in college, we had this saying when someone is freaking out over exams or something "You don't have to trust yourself to do well, just trust everyone else to suck at it". Even if it's not graded on a curve, profs usually still make the exams easier if everyone is failing or past classes fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 12:56 AM
2

I have no problem being alone for 5 years, and I definitely will be fine with that if the alternative is a bad relationship where we will just separate after 5 years anyways. I found my first boyfriend and romantic relationship when I was 28. I get that if you feel like opportunities are scarce you might be inclined to let your romantic partners get away with things your friends wouldn't. And it might work at the beginning because lust is doing its job of making men and women like each other. Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 12:48 AM
1

Thanks! I'll look into your links. Thanks especially for the spool link, I couldn't find anything that cheap when I was looking myself!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 09:31 PM
1

It do not, it's a make believe premise of people that want to use the "the wife should be your best friend" to rationalize the reduction of sexual activity in a relationship, it's not friendship, never was, never will be. Your wife doesn't have to be everyone's best friend. Sometimes you have very strong same sex friendships that is very difficult for someone of the opposite gender to relate the same way. That being said, if you live with someone long enough, it's normal for that person to end u…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 09:28 PM
1

Lower center of gravity and lack of fear.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:55 PM
1

Depends. I'm terrible at procrastinating or saying yes to actively doing hard things. But when it comes to saying no to pleasurable things, I'm great at it. I find joy in saving the good thing for last. I eat in that pattern too, like I eat stuff I hate first then stuff I like. That backfired a few times when my brother ate the stuff I was saving :(
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:46 PM
1

Early stages of dating yes it's different since honestly both of you don't know each other and chances are initially the draw / hook to the opposite gender is lust. But once you're in a relationship, it becomes a specialized form of friendship. There is an additional layer of complexity compared to a standard friendship, but it's a skill built on top of friendship. One example you brought up is simping. Between friends there is usually even give and take. If the relationship is super one sided, …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:41 PM
–

I heard this saying from SE Asia somewhere in a YouTube video or something so not sure how reliable it is. It says if you're poor then you should have a daughter. If she's pretty she can marry a rich man, if she's not then she can marry a white man. My guess is that it's not a simple matter to marry to another country or to someone that barely speaks your native language and can't relate to you when it comes to upbringing and cultural background. It's something that is probably most appealing to…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:51 AM
–

Maybe. I don't really know how much changed. I think I get along with most people though.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:44 AM
–

Personally I matured very slowly. But I was very coddled by my parents so that might have something to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:40 AM
1

I'm a pretty happy person overall, with a relationship or not. So the only thing the guy needs to do really is to not make my life worse overall, or slightly better than it was before.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 11:21 PM
1

You can kind of tell which compliments are fake and which ones are real. I would thank them either way because no matter what they tried to say something nice, probably with the goal to make me feel good about myself, and that is nice by itself. But obviously more sincere compliments make me happier.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 11:18 PM
1

I have some questions! I'm planning to buy my husband a 3D printer for his Birthday (and also because I want one too :P). But there's so much info out there. I think Bambu A1 is my leading choice right now, what are your thoughts on that and color printing? I hear color printing wastes a lot of filament. Is it worth it? What about painting the model as an alternative? How much maintenance does it take? I see maintenance kits for sale and I don't know how much overhead that implies. You mentioned…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 11:15 PM
1

Why? Most wealthy people don't really think about poor people.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 07:09 AM
0

I love other women in the work place. My best managers and mentors are women. They all like me almost irrationally and cut me way more slack than they should. Young men are great too. The people that I tend to have friction with are boomer or older Gen X men, they're too serious and are very inflexible with their work styles. Older women can be a bit like that too, but for some reason I'm very good at making them all motherly towards me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 04:53 AM
1

College definitely isn't for everyone. But I would still advise someone thinking about it to get a college degree unless they have a very specific alternative plan. I think you might be lacking mentorship. You need someone in the field to tell you how to create good portfolio, how to interview, how to network, and what specializations are most in demand. I work in a FAANG company (tech), and we pay our graphic designers decently well. Lots of graphic designers I work with make 6 figures (we're i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 07:42 AM
2

I know the password to my husband's phone. I never read through his messages because it seems rude to do so without telling him. Sometimes I see an interesting conversation that is relevant to me and I would ask him if I can click into it. Feels like basic manners.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 07:26 AM
8

Why? If this is a debate sub about relationships between the genders, think about how skewed and out of touch the sub would be if everyone that is successful with relationships are not allowed to participate. This would make sense if this was a sub for venting about dating frustrations, and some people treat it as such anyways, but that's not actually what this place is supposed to be about.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 07:24 AM
1

I think this is probably true a few decades ago. Now I think a lot of content people view and how we grow up really messes with our ability to connect with other people in general. We put people in boxes before even getting to know them, and wants a playbook on how to interact with people and expect certain results rather than just saying hi. We read too much into other people's responses and judge ourselves and others too much rather than just having fun talking to people. This extends to frien…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 07:55 PM
2

Am I supposed to be scared to go down the stairs because of second hand smoke? These people look fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 04:04 AM
2

Depends. I think if you grew and found some happiness in your past relationships, then it's good to have those experiences. But if your past experiences hurt you more than it made you happy, then it's best to not have those experiences. I didn't have a relationship until I was 28. I was pretty happy with not having lots of relationship experience at the time. Because every opportunity I had I didn't feel like I wouldn't truly be happy in.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 10:31 PM
1

This is fine in the beginning. I find it respectful. Most men and people act like this around me because I'm pretty small and acts in a way that makes people think I'm fragile I guess. I don't swear or make risky jokes with people and I hear people might be mirroring my mannerisms back to me. But over time I would hope he feels more comfortable with me as he gets to know me more. And figure out what would offend me and what wouldn't, rather than just always erring on the side of caution. If he d…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 09:06 PM
–

My grandpa was one of the people that's most opposed to age gaps in my relationships. Both older men and women in my family are that way. They say once you're their age, you're not impressed by older people being good at stuff or have more resources because they're older, because of course you'll be better at stuff if you have longer to achieve it. They agree that if you're in poverty maybe the best course of action is to marry an older guy, since if you're having problems surviving day to day t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 04:09 PM
1

That totally makes sense though. You want to be with someone that will not do bad things because they don't want to, not because they are forced not to. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be in a relationship or friends with someone if the only reason they won't do something bad to you is because they literally don't have the ability to.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 09:17 AM
2

What do you mean that's not how it works? Is that not the law? Or is the law not enforced like that?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 10:03 PM
1

I don't know. Ideally you "glowed up" before having to go through a break up, but having the ability to change after a mistake is still a pretty good trait. I don't think the old partner should take them back or anything, but doing better should be celebrated. There have been many times where I improved after getting burnt, and I'm proud of all the progress I made each time. It's kinda unreasonable to expect people to not make mistakes and be the best version of themselves right away. I almost g…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:15 PM
1

No, I like the feeling of being useful and try to be useful. But at the end of the day other people around me are usually more competent and are better at things than I am and I end up being the person everyone babies.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:05 PM
10

She wouldn't get alimony if she kept a job / career, but child support is for the child, and only happens if she has full custody of the child. And if she was not the primary caretaker because she worked and took care of the child equally, then the father has a good chance of getting 50/50 custody if he tried for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 07:58 PM
–

I think most women just don't think they're shallow. And I don't consider high standards shallow, single dimension standards are shallow. Are women punished by men or society for having shallow preferences, which pressures them to claim to have none? - Not particularly. I don't feel pressure to be not shallow, not more than guys I think. Are women trying to be pick-me's as well, and are simply lying about shallow preferences to better compensate for their own lack of options? - I don't understan…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 11:24 PM
–

Women and men are both beholden to the same laws. I think you're trying to say that men can't use their physical strength to their full advantage, but you can't do that to other men either, it's not about women. It's the foundation of community. It very well might be that at some point, some group of humans decided to let people take whatever they want by force. But there will be no trust or community built, children will either be killed easily or don't have generational guidance, and they are …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 11:11 PM
0

Have to rip the band aid off at some point. We can't just have a huge ponzi scheme as a retirement plan forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:39 PM
–

Same reason it's wrong for one man to kill another man to take his money just because he's stronger. But it's not wrong for the stronger man to out-compete the weaker man for a strength based job and make more money than the weaker man. You can use your advantages to get nice things for yourself, but not by harming someone else or forcefully taking it from someone else. That's how most societies work. If you want to be technical, that is technically a type of "might makes right". Individuals can…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:17 PM
2

Personality, or rather a skill I put effort into would be the best. I want to be complimented on what I put effort into and therefore care about more. I put almost no effort into my appearance so although it would make me happy, I would have more of a "Thanks!" with a smile reaction than "omg! omg!" and wanting to jump up and down reaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 08:27 PM
10

Women are not more moral than men. Men and women are pretty similar in what they want, but have different tools to work with. There are women I bet that have all the personality traits of a violent criminal, but doesn't have the strength and intimidation factor to pull that off. But she likes the lifestyle and thrives in that environment, so she sticks close to a man that can actually act on the things she wants to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 10:11 PM
–

Someone to travel the world with isn't that much of a pipe dream. Maybe I'm a bit out of touch here, but if you are living the rest of your life with someone, there's a very good chance you'll get the travel with them a lot. It's not like that's what you do all the time, but over your lifetime it's not uncommon you get to travel the world a bit with your spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 09:31 PM
1

That sounds like my husband is now stuck with most of the care taking. I guess I get to chill! It's normal for babies to get attached to one parent over another. It's great that she is attached to her dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 07:49 AM
3

I don't know about supermodel looking men, but I'm around a lot of rich men. They don't lie much, and are pretty gentlemanly overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 09:28 PM
1

Things changed a lot since I was young. Men used to be really strong as a collective that it's strange to think they need help. Most men around me are very talented and employable that it still feels this way. But if something is truly an injustice towards men, I don't need it to start hurting women to want to stop it. Many men uplifted me and cheered for me to get where I am now. It would actually be pretty delightful to be the stronger party that can do the uplifting for once. It's just very d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 08:00 PM
1

What you described seems pretty bad. I'm not sure if it's an Europe thing but I've been in a few tech companies in the US that was pretty into DEI and no one would explicitly say things like "we should always hire a woman over a man". Hiring managers at the end of the day do want the person best for the job. I have seen people involved in diversity and people on the DEI team talk in a pretty discriminatory way, but it doesn't usually translate to hiring managers making a different decision. Anyw…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:53 PM
1

I've hired people in big tech companies with strong DEI programs. It doesn't really do much in practice. You do a big song and dance of interviewing different people, then just hire the person you wanted in the first place anyways. A lot of times it's just you already know who you want to hire, but then you interview enough to cover some under-represented minorities (URM). I'm sure a bit more women and minorities get hired this way because there's some chance that you might interview someone muc…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:56 PM
6

I don't think it's a good idea to start any potential relationship by telling the other person you're already defensive against them. Like I never expect any guy to pay for me on dates, and would offer to split the bill every time because I know it can be awkward for guys to bring it up especially if he's kinda shy. But if he tells me that he's not willing to pay for me because he doesn't want to get played by me, it would create a strange animosity between us.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 06:52 PM
1

I don't need my partner to elevate my life by orders of magnitudes (I'm not even sure if that's possible). As long as it's better than otherwise, I'm happy with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 12:52 AM
1

You can probably make ads like that and actually influence some people, but it will take a lot of money.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 12:49 AM
1

Why do you wait to have sex? Religious reasons? Bad past experiences? Something else? - I simply don't want to have sex with someone I'm unfamiliar or don't feel a deep enough connection with. I'm not exactly waiting for anything, if I'm not having sex with someone, it's because I don't feel close enough to them for sexual desire to develop. What methods of meeting romantic partners do you utilize? Is length of time before sex dependent on these methods? (i.e. you would wait longer for someone y…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 07:58 AM
11

I have single female friends and single male friends. If they're compatible I will definitely introduce them. One couple I introduced married recently!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 03:10 AM
1

Question, I have 1 child right now and we have to entertain him constantly. But on playdates he plays with other kids and becomes less dependent on us. Se wonder if having a sibling will actually make taking care of both of them easier because they can play with each other and entertain each other. Would that be true?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:04 PM
1

Paternity tests are not banned or anything, dads can get a DNA test without the mom's consent, and he can choose to not sign the birth certificate. The only thing is that asking for one might hurt the mom's feelings, which can't be helped because of the implication. But if it's important enough for you, have the tough conversation. The thing that causes hurt feelings isn't the paternity test or the prenup itself, but the action of going out of your way to get the paternity test, or to draft a pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 10:10 PM
1

Sorry I still thought we were talking in the context of dating. But I feel even for making friends talking to people in a more social setting will have a higher "click" rate, and if you have limited social energy like myself it's hard to justify cold approaching someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 05:03 AM
2

You might just be really good at reading people then, or just enjoy socializing enough to do something like that and go through the trial and error. Personally I feel like any effort I can make in a shopping setting I would rather put in some other more social setting and get a much better reception / return on my effort. I also don't think you need to be hurrying and rushing to not want to talk. You can be relaxed and having fun, but that doesn't mean you want to talk to a stranger. It's just n…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 10:19 PM
2

Fair. Personally 95% of the time I wouldn't be in the mood to chat, so I just feel like it it's just an inefficient way to get to know people. You can still do it but it feels like it's going to be wasted effort most of the time compared to trying to talk to someone when they're receptive to socializing and not in the middle of something.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:16 PM
1

Yeah that's fine. I assumed when you said approaching you meant hitting on someone or showing romantic interest. Otherwise it's just chatting. Although often I wouldn't really want to chit chat with strangers when I'm out shopping though. So at least for me I would be more likely to try to end the conversation early so I can get back to what I was doing, this would be true for a guy, girl, or old lady trying to start a conversation with me while I was in the middle of doing something.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:07 PM
1

Why time dilation happens when you approach the speed of light, other than just because Einstein said so. The guy actually gave me a reason that made complete sense and I was impressed. Honestly there are a lot of questions like that I wanted answers to, and I just ask them on dates randomly. It's interesting to talk about, give me some insight into how they think, and once in a while I learn something super interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:04 PM
2

That's true but not the only reason. Many people I know, including myself found our spouses on dating apps. We met as strangers and able to choose from anyone. We still all ended up marrying into our same socioeconomic class. We're just more comfortable with and relate more to people of our same background / similar upbringing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:51 PM
1

Depth is the reason we are careful on who we marry. It's not shallow to think deeply about who you're going to form a family and legal union with. Life is complex and deep, it's not just about butterflies in your stomach. It's shallow to only follow feelings. That doesn't mean you have to get a prenup, I didn't. But you should go into marriage with both eyes open and a very clear understanding of what that means from a legal perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:47 PM
2

Lots of women wouldn't want to be approached randomly, because the setting is wrong and you might turn off someone that might be receptive to you in other circumstances. For example, the woman that said that to you might actually view men that approach her while shopping as creepy, but would be open to him in other situations. That doesn't mean it never works, I just don't think it's a good strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:38 PM
3

If you find happiness is overcoming suffering or challenges, there's still a ton of challenges technology has not solved that you can tackle. I don't think there's a shortage of challenges in the world. Also, sometimes I feel a bit like nothing matters and want more to do in life. But this week I got really sick and I wanted nothing but to get better. All my other problems went out the window in a second. In the past I might have not made it, or the illness would last a lot longer, or I might ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 06:31 PM
2

Playing Yu-Gi-Oh as a kid was some of the best experiences of my life. We didn't have infinite money and just made do with the cards we had. It made each booster pack actually exciting to open and theorycrafting was more fun. If you get a semi-good card or combo you can sweep everyone for a while until people figure out how to counter it. Felt like being in the anime. Now I tried a whole bunch of TCGs (not one piece though) and I couldn't get the same feeling back. You're playing with adults wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 07:37 AM
3

I'm UMC and surrounded by UMC. We are almost all very high effort parents. But I think that's because we were raised with very high effort parents, so high effort parenting feels normal and what children deserve. Yeah sometimes we give ourselves more stress than we should, but it feels nice and it reminds you of how you felt as a child and a special type of fulfilling when you're recreating the situation you received as a child as a parent. I think the low fertility rate is simply because develo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 07:17 PM
1

Yes, but that's because I prefer the life path that is typical of a man. There are pros and cons of being a man and a woman, I happen to think I appreciate the pros of being a man and not too bothered by the cons of being a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:26 PM
1

I'm actually in my mid 30's! I was a virgin until I was 28. And here is a potentially bad reason for being a virgin... I don't have a very high sex drive. I was totally cool with not having sex indefinitely (The desire got greater after I did have sex, but when I was a virgin I had no desire to change that). I didn't get my first bf until I was 28, because I honestly would've made a very bad girlfriend or partner in general in my early to mid 20's. I was very self focused. If I had a boyfriend h…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 05:30 AM
1

Like I said, you don't have to decide until you meet her, and it's ok if you only date her if she gives a satisfactory answer to your questions. I don't know what you consider a good answer, but there's all kinds of people out there. But it's possible to not meet some anyone that will satisfy you, and that's fine and you don't have to date someone just for the sake of it. I prefer virgins or someone with less sexual experience, so there's gotta be other women that prefers the same too. But being…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 09:11 PM
1

I'm sure there's someone out there that would be ok or even prefer that. The question is if you will meet her (very often people that are compatible just miss each other by chance). Either way, you don't need to make a decision on if you want to date her until you meet her. And even then there's a lot to a relationship than if she likes you, you have to like her back and feel comfortable with it. You can choose to date a woman if and only if she does make you feel comfortable and happier than yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 08:46 PM
1

I don't think you should accept just any kind of relationship. Women can be traumatized by men and choose to not date again, men can do that too. I would give you the same advice I would give to women in this situation. Enjoy your life, you don't have to date, and it's ok to be guarded when you date. Maybe one day some woman might surprise you or make you change your mind, but you don't need to force it and it should be on your own time. In the meantime there's plenty of other things to enjoy in…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 08:27 PM
2

Being a bad person can get you a lot of things in the short term. But over the long term, I think being a good person pays off really well. At least in my experience it has. When I first graduated and got my first job, my grandpa took me aside for a talk. He said that I'm just starting in my career and adult life right now, and over the next few years I might see a lot of people get ahead by being selfish. And it might work for them, because they're willing to step over other people / hurt other…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 08:15 PM
4

Real - most people in my family. Mom, dad, grandparents, aunts /uncle. They're all great. Some teachers. Fictional - Gohan from DBZ.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 01:05 AM
3

I feel exactly the opposite way. I think most people are good and reasonable, and I will be able to get into a happy marriage with a good percentage of them. Obviously given the choice I will marry the best person I can find that will make me the happiest, and I will spend a lot of time and have high standards since it's a very big decision. But at the end of the day, I honestly feel like if you give me a random guy, there is a very good chance I can make it work reasonably well. I wouldn't be a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 07:08 AM
1

Work got a lot easier too though. We have machines to do a lot of heavy lifting these days, computers to do most of our mental work, AC and heating in most indoor spaces, and good safety regulations.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 10:51 PM
1

I don't think expecting sex early on is inherently toxic. A lot of guys do expect that. Obviously demanding stuff like "I bought you dinner now have sex with me" is toxic, but so is a girl saying "You must now pay for dinner" after the fact. But I don't think society is against a guy respectfully asking for sex on a first date / early, and if the girl says no, then choose to not continue the relationship because of incompatibility. Similarly, I don't think it's bad for a woman to choose to not c…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 08:48 PM
–

I get your point, but there are many types of people out there and you can't control what other people want. Plenty of guys expects sex after the first date, or first few dates. I just make sure to clarify that I'm not ok with that and if they don't want another date because of that then that's totally fine. I'm not going to ask them to change because there are plenty of women that are ok with that or prefer that, and those guys should be pairing up with those girls. They're not wrong, I'm just …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 05:24 PM
4

Totally fine. It feels a bit more avoidant than decenter, but that's fine too. Sometimes people find it hard to decenter without avoiding altogether, and it's fine if that's what they have to do to decenter.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 03:45 AM
–

When I was single in a new city I would fly back home and spend Christmas with my parents. Maybe people were expecting you to say something like that? Then they'll go into normal small talk and stuff like asking me how my parents are doing. It's not malicious.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 09:05 PM
1

True, childcare costs a ton more here even considering different buying power of respective salaries. But in my experience asian parents invests a lot more in terms of financially taking care of them after they're an adult. Lots of parents gift their kid a house, or at least down payment.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 05:20 AM
1

Asian birth rates are low partially because they invest a lot into each child. So each child is very expensive and time consuming. You're expected to pay for your kid's tuition and downpayment on their house and stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 10:58 PM
1

No problem, the fact that I'm with him and he doesn't do these things means I'm ok with these things not being done. The reason I didn't care is because I don't highly value grand gestures and gifts like that anyways. The things that made me actually like him is still there, and it's normal for people to grow and change for different reasons. He might've been financially irresponsible in the past, that's not a good thing. The person I ended up liking is the version of him he grew into right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:58 PM
1

Checks out, that's why VR chat's full of sarcastic dickheads.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 03:25 AM
1

It feels nice to win a fight and watch your husband or boyfriend win a fight. But he can also lose the fight and I wouldn't want to risk it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 07:20 AM
3

I did some quick Googling and you're right. The <1% number might have came from the stat that 0.62% of rape prosecutions resulted in a prosecution for false accusation. I heard the rate of false accusations were low, no one ever mentioned how low but just low in general. Honestly no one around me has ever been impacted so I didn't give it much thought. It's good to educate people and speak up when you think people are being mislead. I learned something today and that's nice. People are generally…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 10:20 PM
2

Depends. I'm pretty... straight forward with my friends on money matters so normally I would bring up they didn't pay me back last time so how about I don't pay them back here and we're even. But if they are struggling with money I might just cover it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 08:26 PM
5

All of my jobs in the past all built me up so that I can get a better job in the future. Relationships don't train skills in you the same way. You're not relying on an institution, you're relying on your own competency and skills you hone in over the years. Just like developing any skill or muscle. Getting better at your job is a very good investment. It's much easier and simpler to get another job than another partner. Jobs are transactional and predictable, I do work, you give me money. I leav…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 08:15 PM
–

You're only 20. People go at different paces in life. Some people go fast and slow down at different points in their lives. Once you're older and look back, you'll notice a lot of that evens out, but when you're just starting out small differences will seem very big. Some people have good internships, but not good return offer. Some people start out at a really good role, but don't get promoted as fast because they're not as good at their job or burn out. Some people couldn't get a job in the fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 07:05 PM
–

I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 28 so no. People grow at different speeds and things come at different times for different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 09:58 AM
1

I used to be terrible at all those things. Minus the hoarder thing. My mom used to ask me if a tornado went through my apartment each time she visited. I had a super high tolerance for messes. Not a lot of people cared about it early to mid 20's... except my mom who was very vocal about it. It's a part of the reason I decided to be better since I don't want my mom to be mad at me every time she visits.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 05:27 AM
1

Yeah, to be fair their places weren't much better at the time so I get it. But I still put a lot of effort in improving and would've been nice to have them appreciate it. I think when you're young you're not as sensitive to your place being messy. When I met my husband he was also pretty messy, now he's not exactly a clean freak but has much higher standards for cleanliness around the house. When it's your own house, own furniture, flooring you paid people a lot of money to install, it's kinda d…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 11:51 PM
2

You should think so right? But apparently not. I was so proud of myself too!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 11:44 PM
3

I'm not convinced guys care about cooking or cleaning at all. One day in my mid 20's I realized I had no life skills whatsoever. My apartment was filthy and I never cooked a meal in my life except ramen or something. I figured I should grow up and learn some life skills, and I did. I learned how to cook, clean and Marie Kondo'ed everything. Literately no guy cared at all, all compliments were from my female friends and mom (mostly from mom actually...). I got way more attention from guys when I …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 11:35 PM
1

I usually hate being the center of attention, but I was too much of a teacher's pet and try hard student that I would probably enjoy this :P
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 11:22 PM
2

Probably not unconditional because that's unrealistic. But the conditions for love for the people around me are pretty easy and takes little or no effort for me to meet. It feels relaxing and you don't spend a lot of mental energy thinking about your relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 09:25 PM
2

Gameboy for me. Most memorable gift is pokemon cards for my cousin. Or maybe just the cash I give to my brother every year since he loves it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 06:44 AM
1

Being arrogant and having confidence is different. Being arrogant is a negative personality trait that is enabled by confidence. If you're arrogant when you become more attractive, you getting more attractive isn't the main problem, it means you weren't a great person on the inside anyways and being confident let that out. You should want someone to be confident because they'll more readily show you who they are on the inside upfront rather than you finding out when you're more invested.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:11 AM
1

You just said "Frumpy" girls are more attractive than other girls that do their make up (instagram girls), so why is it strange that they behave like they're just as attractive than the instagram girls? Should've people behave according to their reality? If they're more attractive than instagram girls, shouldn't they act like they're more attractive than them, not less?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 09:24 PM
3

It was great for me. I'm too shy to both approach anyone or to be receptive to other people's approaches romantically. Too often I can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic interest and just lump everything into platonic just in case because I feel more at ease dealing with platonic relationships. Online dating took ambiguity out of it and gave me a very straight forward way to engage in dating at least for the first several steps.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 07:48 PM
1

You said I am over the upper limit of target weight range. So confirming if that's ok is a very valid question, and I would be concerned too. I wouldn't think of this as malicious or shaming at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:04 AM
1

I don't know, say what you want about my sexuality, but I just think the female body is aesthetically nice because of the softness and curves and everything. Like even a piece of furniture or building with a more curvy aesthetic to it looks more stylish and fancy. Its just got a more interesting and complex shape. I like how the female body looks but feels no sexual tension or feeling when I get close to a woman, look into her eyes or whatever. But I do with men. So I consider myself straight. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:18 AM
1

Purple pill (leans blue) and female. I cared because if it impacts my life I care. But I didn't care enough to change much. I'm just too lazy and content with who I was to make significant changes. I was ok with less people finding me attractive if I means I can be myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:08 AM
1

Yes, yes and yes. And I make a lot of money and isn't hurting for money. But why not date someone that makes more money? It's dumb if that's the only criteria, but it's also silly to not care about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:05 AM
1

You do that by finding someone where sex is also what they want, and offering that to them. This works even if you like sex anyways. This is also how I make friends with common interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:39 PM
1

That's smart! :D
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:37 PM
2

This is actually consistent in the animal kingdom too. The less investment the males has in the offspring, the more selective the females are with genetics. Because the male is literately contributing to nothing else. That's where you get the insane stuff that male animals do in the wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:18 PM
0

I mean... I don't know about dating, but from a child's perspective - I don't think someone that has a dismissive or avoidant attachment style would make a good father. My dad was super involved and attentive, when I think of a good dad, dismissive and avoidant are not words that I would associate with one. So if it's true that a good chunk of never married men have dismissive and avoidant attachment styles, then that checks out with women not selecting for guys that behave like they would be ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:15 PM
6

And that would be a really shitty thing to do to your husband I would judge her very harshly too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:07 PM
4

Have you been primary caretaker or are you just making this up? To be fair, I haven't ever had school aged children, but given how fast the day passes when I'm literately just trying to get a few chores done on the weekend, I can totally imagine getting overwhelmed. It kind of is your partner's responsibility to help unburden you if you're heavily burdened. Why wouldn't it be? That's one of the things that a life partner and family do for each other. My husband and I work the same amount, but I …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:06 PM
7

In my experience men clearly find accomplishments attractive though. When I date it's much easier to get attention from men when I lead with accomplishments that they respect rather than any feminine stuff. Men and women have differences, especially around threshold to have sex. But I think being attracted to someone you're impressed by and hold in high regard is pretty universal. I also think more men than women rather have a bad relationship than no relationship, which makes them select from a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 12:04 AM
1

No, fake email jobs are the worst for procrastinating because your job is to literately communicate with people so if you do nothing they notice. Highly specialized technical jobs lets you procrastinate like crazy. Because no one else can say you could've done it faster.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 09:55 PM
1

I create my own OKRs, manage my own deadlines, and can push back delivery as long as I come up with a plausible reason (like just adjusting my initial estimate). I'm the subject matter expert in my department so no one else can really call me out. This is bad for me because it lets me procrastinate and I get stressed out later, but I can definitely spend a week doing nothing and not have immediate repercussions.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 09:53 PM
1

Bug. I'm great with bugs and I'll be happy to come to his rescue :)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 09:47 PM
30

Division of chores completely depends on how much capacity each person has after their other obligations. If the kids are at school, and the mom doesn't have much else to do, then of course do a bit more housework. If the mom has a bunch of stuff to take care of and is already overwhelmed, and dad's work is not very heavy, then take on some of the chores. Most SAHMs with school aged children probably has no problem with tackling the majority of the chores while their kids are in school. Women ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 09:45 PM
1

I'm not saying he's wrong in the sense women are likely to date men that earns more. But you're not going to give away half your financial assets if the woman is only making slightly less. You would only be giving away half of the difference in your net worth, which isn't that much. If you have high enough income, you'll earn it right back. If anything you'll feel the loss of the dual income upon divorce more than what was given away in the split if it's a typical income disparity.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 04:39 PM
1

Most women date and marry guys close to their socioeconomic level. It's common for the guy to have or be making more, but not that much more.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 01:33 PM
–

I thought guys are typically taught this when growing up. All guys I met assumed they were stronger than me and are naturally protective because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 01:21 PM
2

Just because most people like pizza, doesn't mean all people like pizza. There are going to be some people that find bugs delicious and pizza yucky. People are different. Most people are straight, because that's biologically wired for reproduction. But some people are built different, their brain chemistry is a bit different for whatever reason, and is not like most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 06:16 AM
–

I loved that monologue, I liked how Goku and Buu was just biting each other through such a serious moment for Vegeta.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 09:40 PM
1

Because I'm too shy to, and the same time enough guys take initiative so that I'm not often forced out of my comfort zone. I would have probably been more successful if I initiated more, but before it gets so bad that I force myself to initiate, often the guy would do so first.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:37 PM
1

That's up to the individual. If you know you can't deny sex then don't do it as a form of protest. Personally I think doing it as a form of protest doesn't make sense, but honestly I think most symbolic protests doesn't do much. If you have to force yourself to not have sex when you really want to, that's not really worth it. But I can definitely see situations where women are just disenfranchised and not particularly enthusiastic about the prospect of dating and having sex when you feel unsafe.…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 11:55 PM
-2

Not showing up to work means you don't get paid, not having sex doesn't really cost you anything and it's a simple and easy thing to do. Plus a lot of the issues women are protesting are about women's sexual relationship to men. It makes sense for the protest to be somewhat related to the thing you're mad at. If people started attacking or disrespecting all female nurses specifically, then yeah it would make more sense for nurses to strike or quit or something. But still hard because people need…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 11:06 PM
3

So you think they won't be nostalgic because they won't remember as much?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:42 PM
3

Why wouldn't they have good memories of youth? Children have no responsibilities and play all the time. Have parents provide everything for them and don't worry about a thing. My adulthood is great and has its perks compared to being a child, but being a child was still a great experience I have fond memories of. As a child you're also experiencing stuff for the first time all the time, everything's interesting, cool, and amazing. Games I played as a child were the best not because it was better…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:35 PM
3

A partner shouldn't feel like they can control or have the right to punish their partner for behavior. Your partner is not your child. At the same time, it's normal to have opinions and ideas of how you want your partner to act. And it's normal to be unhappy if they act in a way that is against your lifestyle and values. In a relationship, you need to balance what makes you happy and what makes your partner happy. Ideally what makes you happy should be very similar to what makes your partner hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:30 PM
1

10/15. 11 if social event includes stuff like anime / gaming clubs and not just parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:27 PM
1

Inflation sucks right?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 06:25 AM
1

The vast majority of people I know making that much are silicon valley tech. But I do know a few people in traditional high earning jobs like doctors, lawyers, investment bankers and stuff. The dating culture is a bit different between them (like how much dates cost and how much they're willing to show wealth) but they rarely date someone making significantly less. At least before they got together. Sometimes the wife quits after to focus on kids and stuff. It does happen, like I know 1 guy that…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 02:46 AM
1

They're mostly just my coworkers, ex-coworkers or old classmates, mainly software engineers or along those lines (like DevOps, Hardware, Infosec etc.). Most of them in FAANG (not all of them in literately those companies, but comparable prestige and compensation).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 01:23 AM
5

I think that would be nice. Most school do claim to have zero tolerance policies for bullying but don't tend to enforce it that well. When my brother was getting bullied I sneaked him out of the school (didn't leave through the front entrance) so he didn't encounter the bully as much. Eventually I think the bully just forgot about him. For myself, girls tend to bully with words more than beating you up (and not to toot my own horn that much, but I was pretty good at fighting if they wanted to go…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 01:18 AM
-1

High earning men often have their own standards and won't just marry any woman. Most men I know makes over $300k, and most prefer to date women that makes at least $150k. If they go around and flashing their wealth around and marry a woman that makes less than 50k, there's a very good chance they will not be compatible in a variety of areas. You would also be shining a beacon to anyone looking to date just for money if you do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 12:47 AM
8

What type of assistance would be helpful? Something like the father having a talk with the son, regular check-ins to make sure he's feeling ok? I didn't really have much support for my puberty except my mom telling me how to manage my period and sexual safety talks.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 10:16 PM
1

No, historically we had way more than the nuclear family to raise kids. Young parents usually don't know what they're doing (I definitely didn't) and kids are way easier to raise as a group with your community and extended family rather than breaking each family into siloed units.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 08:22 AM
1

The egg is likely not fertilized.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 09:59 PM
5

Making something illegal is a big deal. You can totally judge people that get recreational abortions, but making abortions illegal is completely different. There are many people that takes advantage of EI or food banks. But banning them is a broad brush that will hurt many people in a way society is not willing to accept. Abortion has an additional issue where society actively benefits from an irresponsible person getting an abortion. So if you ban it, some people might be more careful with cont…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 06:10 PM
5

But you're willing to let the other 25% die from medical compilations? Abortion is a medical procedure that saves lives. Also, regardless of the reasoning of the parents, usually the parents cannot support or give a child a good life. That's a good enough reason. People here are so cynical about life, but suddenly so optimistic about bringing a bunch of unsupported and unwanted babies into the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 05:50 PM
1

I don't mean sports are small. I mean there's not a lot of trans people trying to compete in those sports. It's a good question to ask, what should we do with trans women competing in women's sports when they have a biological advantage? But it's not the kind of thing that should affect how a logical person would vote compared to all the other policies with much broader implications.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 06:20 AM
1

You have good points but it's just not a common problem. We get more injuries in normal sports between the same sexes. How many cases are there where trans women severely injured another player? How many cases are there where trans women even competed with bio women in any significant competition in the country? Why are we fixated on this of all things? People driving past the speed limit is more of a problem. But politician fixate on this because they want to appeal to emotion rather than solve…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 06:13 AM
2

My peers make in the $200k - $500k range. All of them prefer to date women that make at least $150k-ish, and higher if possible. It's not really they don't want to take care of women, but if a woman makes a lot of money, it impresses them. And if you marry her, if she makes a lot of money your household income shoots up which is nice. Some of them mention wanting smart kids as a reason they want to date high earning women. Having a high earning spouse also comes with her own set of connections w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 01:59 AM
2

'i don't know' is not a convincing stance for anyone, no matter the topic. if you're planning to run the country, you should know. I disagree on that. No one is well informed on everything, and not being able to say "I don't know" only forces you to take a stance, stick by it longer than you should, and have black and white thinking because you don't have time to consider nuisance. It's the basis of the dunning kruger effect. You only question someone's rationality in this situation because you …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 01:53 AM
1

I slept in ok? :( Then I had some work stuff to finish before getting on reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 09:09 PM
–

Sorry I couldn't read. Makes sense. My mom told me there are more practical differences between races / cultures and economic status than there will be between the sexes, I guess she's right.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:52 PM
1

Nice!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:49 PM
3

So I suck at basic adult stuff including cooking, cleaning, organizing, scheduling appointments and all that. I put some effort into that in my mid-20's before I started dating, not really to be attractive to men, but because I wanted to be a somewhat functional adult before I subject some poor guy to it. Although I'm sure my husband now benefited from me working on that, I didn't feel like it helped attracting guys directly. What did help get male attention was playing video games and basically…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:39 PM
–

Wait, more black men voted for Harris than black women? Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:33 PM
3

Damn it, Trump won. But it's what people voted for, so be it. I'll bunker down for 4 years and hope that the stock market does well at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:30 PM
–

I don't know what we should do in that situation to be honest. I can see it being unfair, but at the same time I feel bad for the trans people if they can't be included in any sports at all. But the thing is that it's such a small issue that effect such a small number of people it's ridiculous to have that as big of a deal politically as it is. Sometimes it's fine to say I don't know and let each sport league figure it out. Focusing on this is basically using culture war stuff to distract from p…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:28 PM
1

I didn't know it was that uncommon. I do have an in demand degree, but I have younger cousins and a little brother studying different things, and before they graduate I always looked over their resume and supported them in applying for jobs so they can have a job lined up after they graduate.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 11:28 PM
2

I'm sorry, the market is tough right now for new grads. Hopefully it'll turn around soon. It will eventually recover though, and if you're better than everyone else then you'll be the first to find a good job then (if you hadn't found one earlier already). Don't blame yourself for rejections, it's really not you. I know many people that had dozens of recruiters in their inboxes per week trying to poach them just a few years ago (amazing resumes, top schools, FAANG experience, speaker at conferen…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 11:18 PM
1

For some careers it's very normal for companies to hire out of school. The company I work for now (and ones I've worked for in the past) have entire recruitment teams to try to scoop up new grads even a couple of years before they graduate if they have potential. I had a job secured after graduation in my sophomore year. There was more of that when the market was good though, very few interns are getting return offers on my team.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 11:12 PM
1

Obviously I would remain single rather than be with either of them, but if you force me to choose one, it will be the one that cheats. Because he would leave me alone and I can act like he doesn't exist and it will be just like I'm still single. It will be kind of like a marriage only in name because you forced this situation, but we're just roommates kinda thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 11:03 PM
1

I don't expect random strangers to protect me, especially if it risks their safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 10:57 PM
1

Depends when I feel like I want to have sex, which usually only happens after I feel comfortable with the guy which is 1-2 months in.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 08:13 PM
3

This whole treating elections like a sports game where you win or lose is annoying. I wish we can just vote on policies independently.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 08:11 PM
1

You can want to make someone happy without having your entire purpose to making their lives better. I found a hike / daytrip in my area that I know my coworker would really like given the stuff he talks about wanting to do, I did like half an hour of research and told him about it just so it'll make him happier. That doesn't mean now I dedicated my life to making him happy, just half an hour. Doing nice things for someone isn't an all or nothing thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 08:05 PM
1

Kumar? Eric just kinda sucks all around.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:50 AM
1

People confuse being smart with being an intellectual. Otherwise it's not really overrated, it's just a passion like many other pursuits.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 12:47 AM
2

Is that happening? That's so messed up. I didn't see any of this, but even if not mainstream I don't know how anyone is deprived enough to say things like that about a baby boy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 11:59 PM
1

I'm someone that is pretty successful and probably "have it all" by many people's definitions. But you're right in the sense that if I was a man, I would probably be even more successful. I was a good student, had a good career. But I slowed down a bit in my late 20's to get a family together. I still make a lot of money (~$400k/yr), but I would likely be making more if I continued as I was until I was 30-ish. There's pros and cons of each gender, and I always liked the pros/cons of men more tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 09:30 PM
2

Depends on the anime it's from. There's been a good many years when my own phone / computer had an anime background / wallpaper on it. I like guys that watch anime since I do. But I do know some guys don't like anime for the same reasons I do, and are more sexual about it. So I need to figure out what type he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 05:35 PM
1

I see what you're getting at. It's easy to be a good person when others are good to you. And it's normal to be assholes to others when others are always being assholes to you. But in terms of taxes, they are designed that the more you pay the less benefit you probably qualify for. At one point I paid almost 7 figures in taxes alone, yet I didn't get any covid relief checks, don't qualify for child tax credits or EV subsidies. It's like... is it that bad to just humor me with a couple thousand do…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 09:14 PM
5

Or even homeless shelters. I tried looking for a shelter for an acquaintance once, we couldn't find anything that was safe in the whole city because most of the shelters are either for children or women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 06:04 PM
-1

It's absolutely understandable. I think lots of women finds the default role of women in both dating and life undesirable, which is why modern women exists. When you don't like the default role of the gender you're born with, your life is a bit harder and it's normal to be a bit sad about it. The feminist movement did wonders for women in terms of opening up their life options. Women can more easily break free of the traditional "woman" default role. Feminism helped men a bit in terms of breakin…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 09:07 PM
1

They're talking about new code. Given AI exists, why would you not have it do a rough draft and just modify it to your liking after? Lots of code is probably repetitive and tedious stuff like add a button here or send a request there. It's not ground breaking stuff. This just sounds like the engineers are working smart.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 07:14 PM
1

It's lazy nostalgia. Like you just want to zone out for a bit with something familiar. Plus $70 for like 40 hours of entertainment is pretty cheap. Obviously we would like it if it's better, but too lazy to really make a statement or make a fuss about it. I didn't get the Scarlett / Violent DLC this time because I was feeling meh.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 07:05 PM
1

I'm mid 30's, all my guy friends + husband likes pokemon and plays every game (don't watch the anime). We're the reason why Pokemon can churn out half baked games and break sales records every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 05:49 PM
1

People throw tantrums and do stupid things to get what they want even if it's not a need and just something they want. That's a very "normie" thing to do. The fact that people are complaining and throwing tantrums doesn't mean it's a need. People get into credit card debt that wreck their lives just to travel to Europe, get the newest graphic card / clothes. We can't say any of that is a need. People risk their lives to climb mount Everest, doesn't mean that's a need.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 07:31 AM
1

There's something between not having gourmet cheese and having no food and water. Many things can give people mental breakdowns. A straight A student getting D's can have mental breakdowns, dropping out of college or losing a job can too. These are important and significant losses but not real needs for survival. People's tolerance for certain things are also different. Just like some people won't mentally break down because they got a bad grade and some would, a lot of people didn't have mental…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 08:06 PM
1

I love my brother, he's a cinnamon roll.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 06:52 AM
2

Lots of things will impact your mental health negatively if you take them away. They're not all needs. Just because something is good or important for you doesn't mean it's a need.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 06:48 AM
1

Wearing jeans and a t shirt, or if it's cold a hoodie. Because that's what I normally wear day to day, including when if we're in a relationship. Try to stir up conversation with him. If he's actually my best match it should be easy to get a conversation going.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 12:23 AM
2

Because it means someone constantly wants something from you and it can get exhausting to keep filling that need? Imagine someone that constantly needs money from you. Time and energy is just as if not more valuable than money. We can be two independent people that just like hanging out with each other without there having to be a dependency.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 09:31 AM
2

No, I was told I didn't cry enough as a kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 11:43 PM
1

It makes sense to follow if you have a good leader. I let my husband take the lead on our financial decisions because he makes good decisions. 80% of the time when we go with his ideas we make more money than if we had not. It's a logically smart thing to listen to him. If we were losing money most of the time by doing what he wants then I would not act the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 12:07 AM
1

Sounds very reasonable
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 09:52 PM
1

Some people have bad intuition, possibly because of bad upbringing and not knowing what good feels like. Others have good intuition. The people with bad experiences complain about it while people that had good experiences are just living their lives not really thinking or talking about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 09:12 PM
5

Not a problem as long as you don't make a big deal out of it or if it's coming from a place of not trusting your partner. My husband makes 7 figures (3X more than me) and we did 50/50 until we got married. I don't like to mix finances with non-family. A BF or fiance is not family. I would give gifts to my husband before we were married and vice versa. That can include birthday trips and treating each other to dinner or something, but they're gifts and not the default arrangement.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 08:54 PM
5

A trad wife doesn't make money though. That's the tradition. You probably won't consider a guy that does 50% of the chores and child rearing a trad husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:23 PM
1

The whatever my company's serving diet. Other than that the whatever was on sale last week diet.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 08:41 PM
1

I guess I don't know what you even mean by deciding your value. I'm just saying practically it's a strategy that can make sense for a lot of people and it works sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 09:49 PM
1

I don't think she's aiming to be celibate, her standards are just high and she's ok if there's not immediately a partner willing to meet those standards. My own standards are quite high, and it took me like 2 years from when I started dating to getting my first bf. No regrets at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 08:36 PM
1

I mean PPD isn't a dating advice sub, why can't you be celibate and be on PPD? Plus what she's talking about is still a relationship strategy. Because any market has different buyers and sellers valuing different things. There could be a random chance that someone wants to pay $10k for my plushie, and I can still participate in the market. The fact that the chance is low is a risk I'm willing to take. You're also a person and not a item on the market that must be sold. Everyone should stay singl…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 08:30 PM
1

Maybe but it doesn't matter. I have a stuffed animal I like, I might not want to sell it for less than $10k. It's likely no one will want to buy it for that much, but that's fine because I'm fine not selling it. So sure your market value in relationship might be determined by the market, but that's not relevant if you're fine not being in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 08:16 PM
1

That was my biggest concern when I started dating. I was enjoying my life and I didn't think I could fit another whole person's schedule into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:12 AM
1

I don't wear make up often but when I do I'm totally fine with disclosing that I'm wearing make up.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:11 AM
1

If it's truly not fair, whining won't do much. Being loud just means more people hear it, it does nothing if the content is nonsense. Things have changed because most people think it makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:45 AM
1

Oh, like safe as in "I don't think he'll ever leave me"? Yeah that's not really a good thing to look for. I meant safe as in a general sense of safety and stability around the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:53 PM
1

The cause and effect is flipped. The victim complexes you're talking about are women complaining and being sensitive to any unfairness towards women. It's because western women speak out about it and advocate more for it that they became more privileged than similar women elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:26 PM
12

Yeah, after childbirth and other stressful situations. Sex is like a recreational fun activity, anytime when my day to day is in disarray, I tend to not be in the mood for play and therefore sex. Although many times my husband is good at creating a calming environment where I can relax temporarily, that plus being particularly sexy can turn me on even when I'm a bit stressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 09:45 PM
1

College kids don't have the same emotional maturity as middle schoolers, but it's still less than old adults. It's a gradient, and I'm trying to show you situations that a high emotional experience shouldn't be the only factor in determining something so big. Also, some people mature faster than others. It's totally possible that you feel very mature in college, and you might actually be. I have several friends that I feel like had the required maturity in college or maybe a bit older. But other…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 07:53 PM
1

It was almost nothing and increased when I got into a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 07:47 PM
2

I get it intellectually but I can't actually empathize because I don't feel that way myself. I like being the safe option because I find safety attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 05:30 PM
1

You might be ready to propose just then. But many aren't and if you were my brother or son I would advise you to not. Marriage is a big deal and "get emotional enough to pour your heart out to someone" is a good start to having the marriage discussion but can't be the only thing that triggers a proposal. This is how divorces happen, when people have one emotional moment and dive right in. If you felt that way about a girl when you're in middle school, would you still propose regardless? You're r…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 12:46 AM
1

I wouldn't have accepted a proposal when I was in school regardless. Even if I really liked the guy. Similarly if I was a guy I would not propose that young. To me, it's just not time for that milestone yet. A proposal isn't a thing you ask for lightly. You're asking a lot from a woman to agree to marry you, and being that presumptuous can leave a bad taste even if she was seriously considering it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 09:39 PM
1

Subsidizing child care and basic needs is the most direct and highest impact thing you can do. There are plenty of couples that would have children / more children if you just make their life easier after they do. Compared to that the childfree or people struggling with infertility is negligible.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 06:09 PM
3

Children need more than money to be happy. If the parent clearly doesn't want anything to do with the child, doesn't matter how much money they have.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 04:54 PM
2

Oh, I got a job and had to collaborate / talk to people everyday. The more senior you get the more talking you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 07:41 PM
1

I'm drinking hot chocolate as I'm reading this :D
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 06:35 PM
1

My grandma has higher standards than me so I don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 06:34 PM
1

If you like stuff like that tell you gf. I'm sure your gf will be glad to pick up odd rocks or sticks if she knew you liked it so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 06:33 PM
2

I did when I was very introverted and didn't talk much. Now I talk more on a day to day basis so it doesn't happen anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 06:29 PM
3

Maybe it's because I had people tell me this about guys since forever, but I didn't think they were implying men are inherently liars. So I wouldn't take this being said about women as offensive since it just seems like the same advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 06:26 PM
3

Not really. I was told to watch people's actions and not words when it came to dating and networking. Many people's words do match their actions, and the advice still works in that scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 05:49 PM
1

There will always be times where a private car would be better than a public vehicle that needs to accommodate other people. But I love the efficiency, efficiency gives me a dopamine hit.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 11:13 PM
38

I don't know how this makes anyone look bad. What what they do, not what they say is a general advice that is applicable for almost everything. Women are given this advice for men all the time. I was given this advice for networking and career. I do believe what people say, but their actions should match and they should take action on what they say relatively quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 07:27 PM
1

I did this before when I was in school. I just get up, turn it off and go back to bed anyways. There were times I didn't even remember turning it off which means I sleep walked to the other side of my room and turned it off or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 06:19 PM
1

I like behavioral interviews. Most of the time there's no wrong answers and they're just looking to make sure you're not super weird or annoying to work with. As long as your answer aligns with common sense it'll be fine. There is some room here for bias or discrimination though. I think it's easy to "pass" a behavior interview, but someone else might do it better than you and you might lose the job that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 06:17 PM
1

Almost everyone appreciates romantic gestures. The only reason someone wouldn't appreciate a romantic gesture is if you don't like the person in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 06:12 PM
3

His recent rants and cringy behavior is overshadowing his past accomplishments. I admired him in the past. He did a lot of good for the world. I don't know what came over him recently that he started acting like a middle schooler that can't stand any criticism and need others to validate him in the most childish ways. He goes out of his way to rile up fanatic fans and bully others that disagree with him. I appreciate him for what he has done and will give credit where credit is due, but I don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 05:21 PM
5

Libraries are the best. Most of the time when you think about buying a book, you can get it from the library.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 05:15 PM
1

Obviously I would judge her for it. I can't stay friends with someone that has such different values from me. No one in my life ever had any affairs or flirted with taken people as far as I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 05:12 PM
2

Mystery only helps initial intrigue. If you need to depend on mystery to keep anyone interested it's not sustainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 08:35 PM
1

I would be very surprised and dig into that as much as possible to see why he said that and what his mindset is like.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 08:32 PM
2

I pretty much just want my husband to be another me. Obviously help with stuff that I biologically would struggle with like strength based things. But other than that we share roles and responsibilities based on what we're good at and what seems fair like with anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 08:30 PM
–

Definitely lots of sucky things about it. But if I spend all my time dwelling on sucky things in my life that I can't control I wouldn't be able to live my life. I am unlucky in some ways, but tremendously lucky in other ways. I focus and capitalize on that and live my best life given what I have to work with.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 05:49 AM
1

Yeah, how you lived your life for 20 years is often more important than how it ended. Plus many times the relationship can end on good terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 09:22 PM
1

It is by definition. But depending on your quality of life during those years, it might still be a good thing for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 08:53 PM
12

Absolutely, it sucks. I was so pissed during my teenage years when all the guys got bigger and stronger and all I got was my period. After over a decade I decided to get over it and focus on what I can change / I'm good at.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 07:28 PM
3

No
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 09:15 AM
2

I have both a successful career and a mother / wife and enjoys both very much. But if I had to choose one I would choose a successful career. Both are challenging and interesting in their own ways, but my personality i better suited to the career path. At this moment, I wouldn't mind retiring and full time being mom. My son is adorable, makes me so happy and all I want is to play with him. I'm pretty excited about the idea of giving him a sibling too. But I would feel at peace with it because I …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 08:28 AM
12

Have a go bag, some money put aside, whatever. It's important you feel like you can leave an unsafe environment and not have money or material stuff get in the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 07:36 AM
1

I work with like 3 software engineers that look like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 04:53 PM
2

Stability and comfort. With the modern world, passion and excitement is very easy to get. The world is full of dopamine machines. I can just watch a movie or play a video game or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 04:50 PM
2

The lag I'm talking about is general public acknowledgement that we need to help men. Women's issues get acted on faster because the public is already very familiar with the concept that women needs help and are sensitive to women's equality. But that public sentiment wasn't developed overnight, it took a lot of activism from feminists and other groups to get there. Similarly, we react very quickly to LGBT issues now, but it wasn't like that a centry ago, activists had to keep repeating the mess…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 08:54 PM
2

My family are actually very involved in academia with 2 generations before me being professors. It's kind of always been this way in academia, it's been books and memorizing. Recently we have actually introduced a lot of non-sedentary ways of learning like projects and assignments. I think schools are very open to new ways of learning to help boys. Some schools are thinking about how to gamify curriculums and such. I think the problem is that Academia in the past has not been necessary to find a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 06:30 PM
1

So we can reverse some of the policies we used back then, and think of ways to help boys in school. I think many schools are already acknowledging this and going from a more sedentary environment to a more active one.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 06:18 PM
–

Policy often lags behind needs. Relatively it has only been a short time that women are doing better than men. On a political timeline people haven't had the time to digest this and act yet. Think about how long other disadvantaged groups had to deal with their issues until we had policy changes. Men being historically the strongest group will also make it harder to digest the fact they're disadvantaged now. But even now I can totally see affirmative action policies happening that will encourage…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 06:49 PM
–

Get more involved in education and create a curriculum that boys would do better in. Women get more involved in education (eg. PTAs and being teachers) so it's normal for women to design things that click better for women. If more men get involved, it would change how education works. I'm not a guy but was terrible at sitting still and learning in a traditional environment. One thing I really struggled with was spelling, I really didn't have the patience to learn any rules other than spell it ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 06:43 PM
–

Affirmative action helps quotas which helps those that are currently less well off. It only historically helped women before because women had less education and were less well off. If men were the one that had less education and had less formal qualifications, then something like a 50/50 quota would help men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 06:26 PM
1

No, we're probably sexually incompatible. Plus I have pretty low libido so he would not be happy with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 10:47 AM
2

I had random guys compliment my clothes like 5 times in my life and 4 of them I was wearing costume, cosplay, or a very obvious reference to something. In my experience most guys don't even notice what you wear if it's the realm of "kind of normal".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 10:52 PM
1

I'm good at figuring out where to go or retracing my steps once I've been there once. But I don't never know where North South etc. are. The only time I'm ever aware of those directions is if I'm in some adventure race or something. Or when I'm buying a house and have to figure out where it's facing so I know how much sunlight to expect.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 08:25 PM
–

I don't love that quicky. I can't say I love you before being in a relationship for a pretty long while. Love for me takes familiarity, and I need to already be in a relationship with them and have seen many sides of them to connect in a way where I can love them. You find out if you love them through a relationship. I can like or develop feelings towards them, but love is a pretty high bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 09:35 AM
5

Honestly as long as I'm renting, living alone is kinda the same or easier than living with a roommate. Buying a house on the other hand came with a bunch of work and annoyances.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 08:01 PM
2

I think if you're talking or thinking about high value vs low value people you're already kinda disconnected with people. Most people in healthy relationships both platonic and romantic don't think like that, and thinking about whether you are high or low value to someone already seem off or give that needy energy you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 07:58 PM
7

That's fair, some of the stuff you mentioned can have some truth to it, but I think the problem is that most of the time they might be said to men in bad faith and to shut them up rather than be actually helpful. Although women are also met with a lot of similar advice or and pretty lies, but a lot of the lies are very obvious (eg. looks don't matter). I never felt mad at people telling me looks aren't important, I know they mean well, but I can see how looks obsessed everyone is so I didn't bli…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 07:16 PM
2

Nice summary! Thanks for breaking it down.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 08:18 PM
2

How did I miss there's a new fable game coming out? I had good memories of playing Fable 1-3. I don't care if characters are ugly. Don't you turn ugly anyways if you're evil?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 08:16 PM
39

I don't expect random men to care for me, men that care for me usually do for personal reasons and not just because I'm a woman. But it's fair that there are many men that care about women's problems, and many strangers that are men try to be very considerate and helpful when it comes to some of my women-specific concerns. So let's help men, what can we do? I want to advocate for men and I think there are things that are unfair to men, but when in the menosphere, some men have told me that any e…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 08:10 PM
2

They could have just not cared about you much, they could be using another relationship to numb the sting of your break up. Either way you already broke up, the reason is irrelevant to you now, don't worry about it and move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 08:00 PM
1

Something is not deep just because it's hard or rare. Shallow and deep is completely dependent on how much information or how much you "dig" before falling in love with someone. Also, I don't think most women throw all their non-shallow standards out the window when it comes to Chad. I think a hot woman that is abusive can pull much more guys than a hot but abusive man could do with women. A hot person will be likely to find SOMEONE out of all the people in the world to deal with their bullshit,…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 05:49 PM
-1

High standards are not inherently shallow, and having low standards don't make you not shallow. Shallow means liking someone on a very narrow set of superficial / surface level traits. Falling in love with someone after only knowing their outward appearance is one of the most shallow ways you can fall in love even if was a low bar. On the other hand, someone can have high standards for multiple requirements but can not be shallow if some of those requirements are things that you only get to know…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 10:47 PM
1

You should vote based on your values, but I don't think the republicans really do much about illegal immigrants nor would the democrats do much to limit guns. Again policies aside, there are too many slimely conservatives with questionable morality that I wouldn't feel comfortable with them in charge. This is just what I think though, you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 08:41 PM
1

I wonder why. I'm liberal and is financially pretty well off. Technically conservative policies will be more financially beneficial for me. I hate Trump but his tax policies saved me a lot of money. If I was voting purely from a what will benefit me perspective I should be voting republican all the way. Even stuff like abortion bans is very unlikely to affect me. But I just can't respect the republican party right now. Liberals can overdo it sometimes and I would eye roll at them, but I feel lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 07:46 PM
2

No, my husband might do that. It's not a big deal, I don't need him to protect me against mice. We'll just call someone to take care of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 09:59 PM
2

Corporate swag
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:00 PM
2

I would tell her the truth exactly as I see it. Whether that breaks up the relationship is up to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 10:30 PM
0

I know 2 families where the man is the sole breadwinner and 1 family where the woman is. All 3 of them are really nice to the non income earning spouse. It doesn't make any sense to treat someone like shit just because you make more money than them. You shouldn't treat anyone like shit at all regardless. Sure, you can not date them if you would rather have someone that financially contribute. But if you chose to date them why treat them badly? It's like you're trying to use money to buy the righ…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 12:20 PM
1

If it does in a significant way then I wouldn't do it, but the times that I did talk to socially awkward people weren't bad. And I was socially awkward too, and I appreciated people talking to me and giving me a lot of grace on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 11:37 AM
2

Why wouldn't I want men to improve their social skills? And sure, they can practice and talk to me if they want. I'm socially awkward myself but improved a lot. And I find that people that are even more socially awkward than me like talking to me because the pace and energy I talk at matches them better and I'm less intimidating.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 07:29 AM
1

So, being hugged by your dad?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 09:24 AM
1

I just assume he is by default. I generally assume that the people that should like me do, unless I find evidence otherwise I just don't worry or think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 07:18 AM
1

I feel like your definition of jealousy is that your gf / wife care at all if you like someone else (not indifferent to it). It's normal for someone to be concerned their partners might like or be romantically involved with anyone else. It's just not healthy to think normal interactions are signs of infidelity and dwell on it. I don't want my husband to be completely indifferent if I liked other guys either. But it's not something I think about in a relationship. I by default just assume he's no…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 12:45 AM
2

I'm not against it, I just don't think I need it yet. If it gets bad enough, I might carry one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 12:34 AM
20

Has to worry less about safety, and less risk to stuff like pregnancy and infections Has more time to figure things out, can take their time a bit more and don't have to worry as much about how starting a family impacts their career or other life plans as much. Can make more mistakes since they're not judged as much for sleeping around too much Most guys don't put as much effort into make up, clothes and stuff like that. Don't need to spend as much time getting ready. I don't put much effort int…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:34 PM
2

I grew up solidly middle class, but my parents were still very frugal and loved getting deals. I'm upper middle class now and I just get a dopamine rush when I buy something cheap. It's more about that rush than the money.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:08 PM
1

In my experience most people can't hide even the simplest things over time, talking about 10-20 years. Also, it's not like we're asking the men if they like it when their woman gets jelly, you simply see who they eventually end up with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:01 PM
2

Maybe it will shock me, but so far I haven't had anyone trying to sexually assault me, or anyone I know. Which is why right now I take very little precautions. So if I wanted to think about it that way, 0 x 3 = 0. But I do know it will be a significant uptick, which is why I would take what I think are pretty significant precautions. But not enough to have a gun, I don't expect it to be like a warzone.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 08:58 PM
1

I have a son but he's too young for any of this to be applicable. But I'm speaking from the experience of being an ex-child myself. I think there's definitely people that will take advantage of your support. But I don't think you should start off assuming that will be the case. Especially if it's someone like your child / family member or spouse. If they prove themselves to be unreliable then you can act accordingly, but assuming they're like that by default is kind of mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 06:21 AM
2

No, a major city. Although suburb. I've always been in a safe environment, always assumed the best intent from everyone around me by default and people keep meeting my expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 04:08 AM
0

I know, I thought I can make it if I practiced more. But it turns out if you can only make plat even playing casually, you're probably not cut out to go pro. Eventually I met a guy in my engineering classes that plays very occasionally with a shitty laptop and still make high masters w/o trying much and match with real pros regularly, those are the people that has a chance to go pro, not me. My friends and I literately offered to chip in and buy this guy a real gaming PC and good keyboard / mous…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 11:35 PM
0

I think my parents would support me if I wanted to open a bakery w/o making me get an MBA or buy my own expensive equipment. Maybe they would want to see me doing some catering, but they wouldn't require me to earn everything myself to get set up. And definitely when I first float the question to them, they would take me seriously. They might ask some questions to clear my head on how I would get there, but they would take me seriously. I literately told them I wanted to be a professional gamer …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 08:40 PM
1

We protect ourselves based on our immediate surroundings. Obviously I would act different if I lived in a really bad neighborhood or something, but I'm answering from the assumption that it increases 300% based on my immediate environment. I would still be vigilant, but probably not to the point where I want to carry a gun. I'm the type of person that likes to solve problems by prevention rather than conflict.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 08:31 PM
1

You can get offended. I would too because you can't get around the fact they are doubting your fidelity. But they can still do it since it's their kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 05:14 PM
1

Fathers can already get a paternity test without the mother's consent. It's a bit different since it's the father's child too, the mother doesn't have the ultimate say on it once it's born. You don't have the same claim to a personal phone. If you want to have an open phone policy, then you can discuss that, but I don't think you should be able to stop a dad from getting a paternity test.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:53 PM
1

You see their actions over time. If they liked women that get jealous easily, they would gravitate towards them and end up with girlfriends or wives like that. Most people don't constantly pretend to be someone they're not. When you live with or are close friends with them for decades most people just can't always hide who they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:28 PM
3

Not in normal circumstances. This is irrelevant to his relationship with them as a father. Unless it starts impacting my relationship with them as a mother somehow, I see no reason for them to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 06:22 AM
2

It would definitely change my feelings about him. Same as if I found out something terrible about my friends or family after they passed. But he's already dead so there's no much to act on at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 05:40 AM
6

Maybe? Depends on how bad it gets. My immediate environment is very safe so I already do very little to protect myself. I guess I will act more cautious first, like be more vigilant at night, be in groups more, etc. before buying a gun. That type of confrontation is a last resort.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 12:31 AM
1

I love games, played in local esports tournaments and travelled to watch esports and games completely consumed my childhood - college years. But it's not weird for someone to not like games. People like different things, and it's ok and normal to not want to date someone that you can't relate to or don't really appreciate their hobbies and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 12:25 AM
3

That doesn't seem like a healthy mentality. I haven't been around many men like that. You should think people actually cares by default, because that's normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 10:56 PM
1

I think you're looking at too much tiktok content or something. Most girls aren't practically in any kind of sisterhood, we just have normal friends like anyone else. Most of the time we talk about homework, work, exams, or whatever the next immediate life milestone is. Sometimes that next milestone is dating or marriage, but not always. In real life no one cares who is a pick me or girl's girl (wtf does that even mean practically?).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 08:44 PM
10

Yes I would ask, it will hurt his feelings, but I would be dishonest to him and myself if I pretended I wasn't curious. I'm a person, and sometimes I have thoughts that are not always nice. I feel bad hurting his feelings, but these are honest thoughts I really have, and I will be transparent about it. Assuming the test can be done on me too I would obviously agree to do the test on myself to be fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 08:39 PM
5

Time to brush up on my parkour skills then.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 05:58 AM
2

Not that I know of
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 05:57 AM
1

I have no problem believing there's solidarity among men. Men show up for their friends just like women do. There's good friends and bad friends in any group. My husband, brother, and dad has great friend groups. They always have each other's backs, are fun to be around, and I love watching their dynamic. But for some reason, there are some particular things I see in my friend group that I don't see in their friend group. Like when I was single, I got sick and my friends came over and cooked, ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:42 PM
–

You're right that traditional dating expectations haven't caught up with societal progress. But it's normal to have social sentiments lag behind reality a bit. A lot of get dating advice and are taught what to expect from parents and media that's a generation or two behind. I make lots of money, and always felt empowered financially. I can support a whole family on my income alone. When I was younger, I never thought I needed a guy to make more money than me. But my parents and grandparents were…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:29 PM
–

What do you mean they should know better? I don't think dating people with less money correlates at all with sexual assault. If anything the opposite is true. The fact that you said they should know better kind of minimizes their plight and isn't looking at it from a place of empathy. I am criticizing you that at least at face value you appear to be very harsh rather than empathetic in your way of thinking. Doesn't mean you actually mean bad, maybe that's how you talk, but it sounds less empathe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 11:56 PM
2

Nothing wrong with any of these. It's good to know what you want and these are good things to have in a partner. I remember wondering about my future partner like you are doing right now and I got everything I was hoping for and more, good luck and enjoy the process :)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 10:41 PM
0

Same, I have nothing against Biden, Kamala or any democratic candidates. But I feel like policy wise I should be more right leaning, but I can't take the Republicans seriously or respect how they operate as a party.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 10:35 PM
–

I think it's pretty reasonable to get pretty traumatized when non-consensual touching start to happen regardless of who's doing it. Shouldn't you know more than someone like me how power and money doesn't mean you can impose your will on others or make it any more ok? This is the internet and dumb or misworded stuff is said all the time, but if you take what you said at face value, it's actually a very concerning thing you just said. Based on your philosophy, you should better relate to and be m…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 10:33 PM
–

I do have a lot of experience with well off people though. They are most of my peers and including myself. I think you're describing a very cartoonish version of people with money. The wealthiest people I know are the nicest, because it's actually really easy to be nice when your needs are met. Most well off people are surrounded by other well off people. Your peers cannot be bought off, you have to navigate friends, family, coworkers just like everyone else. But it's ok if you choose to not ass…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 07:18 PM
2

Not that unreasonable if you're in the right circles
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 10:20 AM
6

I get that lots of people that suffered won't want that to happen to others and try very hard to do that. But similarly, I think a lot of people that have had people be kind to them all their life and lived a very comfortable life are kind to others because they have received nothing but kindness from other people and they model what they see. I don't think people are bad because they have no money or had past traumas. But if they're bad I won't put myself in harm's way because they only did wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 10:11 AM
10

I understand that most people that do bad things do them because they went through hardships or life pushed them in that direction. I know babies aren't born resentful, apathetic or "bad". But if you're a person that might hurt me or be bad for me, it often doesn't matter why from a self preservation perspective. I can be sympathetic towards someone's plight but still stay away because I don't want to get hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 08:02 AM
5

They don't struggle that much, but maybe more than you think they would. It's probably a combination of: They have standards, both because they view themselves highly and have family / peers that would judge them if their gf are missing certain qualities. Lots of them are taught not to focus on dating, especially careers like software engineers tend to have people that are focused on their careers a lot or are very passionate about their careers / hobbies. Their parents are also career focused p…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 07:53 AM
1

Lazy
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 04:34 AM
1

That's good and normal. Even if you're raised equally by both men and women, you should still be able to see women around you at their worst and best.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 06:49 PM
2

There's no need to have a ceremony. The only reason we had one was because of pressure from parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 11:30 PM
12

I think it's realistic, because I see it a lot around me. I see break ups too, but just because it doesn't always happen or if it's not guaranteed, it doesn't make it unrealistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 10:52 PM
3

Women. I am the biggest baby.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 01:48 PM
1

The answer would be you want to create a family with her enough that the desire overwhelms the fear of parting with that money, or if you have enough money that 10M isn't as significant to you compared to other people, or you can find someone that is equal or greater to you in wealth. You may personally not think it's worth it and it's fine. Different people value different things. But billionaires marry all the time, and personally I know a couple of start up founders that sold their start up f…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 01:45 PM
2

No, like my literal first and strongest association with men and masculinity is my dad...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 01:30 PM
1

I don't think morality is absolute at all, which makes sense. We're just a group of people that tries to get along. I disagree that few children live lives without significant trauma. Everyone has some trauma from the bumps and bruises of growing up, but significant trauma is different. I think especially in modern society we have never treated children better. I know many children do experience terrible things, but it's not the majority of cases and everyone knows it's wrong. Child abusers ofte…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 12:54 PM
1

I guess I think the world is better than you do. I do agree often people are good because they want to feel good about themselves, but that's good enough, what else do you want from humanity if the species literally evolved to feel good when doing good things? Society agrees murder is bad. Just because some members of society kill doesn't mean we don't think it's bad. It's illegal and looked down upon in almost every culture. We don't need to cooperate at a global level, or act to correct every …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 12:35 PM
1

Yes, morality, public opinion, and laws change. Slavery and other human rights violations used to be legal. That's ok, it's normal to learn from the past and keep doing better. We might be doing a lot of things that people in a few thousand years would think is very immoral. Like I said in my other reply, I think humans evolved to cooperate with other humans, and morality is a powerful tool in facilitating that. Laws and specific circumstances can be twisted by people in power, but there's an un…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 05:53 AM
1

You might be right. Lots of fucked up things in the world. But I have also seen lots of great and heart warming things. Bad things happen (like murder), but as a society we at least agree it's bad and try to stop it. Morals are animal desires. It's an evolved trait so humans can cooperate, and that is a very powerful evolutionary trait. I don't think it's nation state programming, I think most humans are naturally drawn to good morality. Human society actually reflects that. Humans are actually …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 05:44 AM
1

It's not a guarantee for sure, what I said is a bit simplified. But it's not 1 in a few hundred thousand chance for sure. Similar people tend to aggregate together, it's much easier to find a person like X, when you're that kind of person. If you have a magnet, you can't just hold it up and have all the needles come to you, you still have to search with it, it will just be a lot easier. It's totally fine for anyone to think the effort is not worth it though. It's your life and you know yourself …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 05:19 AM
1

I think we have a definition disagreement here. I think you can be entitled to something even if you don't force it. For example, if you're married or in a relationship, we don't use any force to stop your partner from cheating, but most people agree you're entitled to not have your spouse cheat on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 05:49 PM
3

If you are similarly wonderful, then you are a magnet, then it's easy to find all the needles.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 11:50 PM
1

So you're saying as long as I'm unwilling to use force to compel someone to do something then you can't call it entitled? I guess that's a disagreement on the definition of what entitled mean to us. What if someone doesn’t want you or someone else to experience that? If an adult doesn't want a child to experience love? That's pretty messed up and I don't think we should care about that person. What if they don’t want to sacrifice to live out your fantasy? In the context of adult and giving child…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 11:48 PM
1

You can feel entitled to something, but that doesn't mean it always happen, it's just that most people would agree it should happen. Based on your definition, my definition of entitlement is your the medium form. Where I and I think society should feel compelled to do something, but it's not enforced by the law. What I think is ideal and optimal for kids is that they all have good education, enough resources to not stress about it, friends, relationships etc. That's ideal but I'm a bit more ok w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 10:16 PM
1

Law and policies are the collective opinions of people. People make laws and they change over time based on public opinion. We are talking about personal opinions, because the collective personal opinion of everyone becomes what we find accepted and not acceptable. And similarly it influences what we think each person is entitled to, which is the main topic of this thread. What we think children should be entitled to is different, individually and across cultures because of differences in person…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 06:50 PM
1

There are definitely moral things you expect others to do right? It's a gradient. Fostering cats? Probably not something that's a public expectation. Murder, definitely is, actually it's such an expectation we we make it illegal. Giving love to a child is something I expect others to do and society to make the best effort in making it happen. People can be selfish, and just because you have an expectation doesn't mean it happens. But we can at least hold people accountable and acknowledge it as …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 06:46 PM
2

Yes it is. It is my personal opinion that children are entitled to love and protection. But all law, policy, and cultural norms are just opinions that has enough people that believe in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 09:59 AM
3

It's not that deep or philosophical. Should is just something that is morally right to make a significant effort to do. And yes, if I ruled the world and has magic I would make all kids loved. But since I don't I do my best within my limitations. Kids aren't all loved, but they should be, and they should feel entitled to it. They are wronged if they're not.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 09:55 AM
2

I have a child and want more, and I don't really mind. Women do get a lot of pressure to have kids and I can see how you have to deal with a lot of judgement and annoying comments if you are child free. I don't mind them blowing off some steam. They can call kids a crotch goblins all they want, doesn't impact me or make my kid any less adorable and precious to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 09:16 AM
1

I was pretty confident in my looks not in the sense that I thought I was attractive, but I didn't care about what I looked like and didn't particularly care if people thought I was attractive or not. I just assumed some people will find me attractive since there are so many people in the world that it's statistically very likely.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 09:00 AM
3

My definition of entitlement is that we should try really hard and fight really hard to give each child love. I don't define it as entitlement = 100% must give. Almost nothing in life we can force like that, which will make the word entitlement not useful if we were to use it like that. That way there's no difference between "illegal not to" and entitled. I think there are a few things that we should feel entitled to, but sometimes cannot get. I see it as society's soft skills in a way. Basic de…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 10:53 PM
14

Disagree, children don't always get love but they should get love. In situations they don't someone messed up. I don't have to love someone else's child, but that's because their parents messed up. As someone that's not their parent, I can't fully devote myself to other children because I have my own limitations and obligations I actually signed up for. But I can still do my best within my limits. And even though I can't force myself to love a random child, as an adult I always make sure any chi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 08:08 PM
1

Parents are just people and can say dumb things without thinking sometimes. What matters is what he's like consistently. One comment might sting a bit in the moment, but if they consistently show you how much they love you every day, you will feel it. The fact you hold no resentment probably means your dad has shown you enough love and consideration in your everyday life.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 07:55 AM
2

I find that there's people that play devil's advocate no matter which side you're on. I've definitely seen people say to parents when they vent about their kids that they're the ones that raised them and anything that the kids are doing wrong is because of bad parenting.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 10:28 PM
1

My mom is a doctor and many times she does just tell me it's not a big deal. Accordingly to her, most kids are very resilient and they'll bounce back from most things. It's great to have basic first aid at home though. For example I cut myself with a knife and blood was squirting everywhere (from my POV, apparently it wasn't that bad in reality), and she stopped the bleeding, sanitized it, bandaged it up, and told me it'll heal quickly. My dad was fully ready to rush me to the ER. I also get a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 09:03 PM
3

Honestly I don't know. I'm a person that has dealt with very little bad things in my life and by all logic I should be easily devastated by the smallest things. But if I live my life trying to protect myself from potentially bad situations that can devastate me, I can't do much in life at all. At some point you have to just take a chance of bad things happening, and trust and hope you'll be fine at the end of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 08:40 PM
3

He can be distraught that it's ending, but respect your decision to end it anyways. A respectful person places your decision above his feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 08:36 PM
–

Get a good husband and father of my children. I want to create a warm family, like the one my parents had / the one I grew up in.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 08:33 PM
1

This happened to me many times. I'm very slow in warming up and I won't have sex until we're in a pretty solid relationship. Many men date me, figure out I'm not what he's looking for, if they're nice they tell me, if they're less nice they ghost after either the first date or a few dates in. Sometimes I think "Oh that's a shame". But at the end of the day, there may be many reasons why he doesn't want to continue dating me and I don't try too hard to figure out why. All I know is that the relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 06:19 PM
2

I would abort because it would be a tough life for him and it would be tough on us too. Romantic prospects is the least concerning thing about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 05:21 PM
39

There are unscrupulous people out there that will try to pressure you to doing stuff that is not best for you because they only care about their own gains. Don't try to change their mind or come to an understanding with people like that. When people show you they're that type of person, dissociate with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 06:32 PM
1

Some of this is cultural. My parents paid for all my stuff whenever I need it, but I would also give them money whenever they need it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 05:46 PM
1

I don't dislike the concept of sex, the "matter of how to go about it" that I don't like is casual sex. It's not very complicated, I like the activity, but don't like doing it that way. I'm an introverted person too, which is partly why I don't like casual sex. Sex is a very social activity to me, you really have to connect and feel comfortable with the person. I think it takes a very extroverted personality to want to do something like that casually. Think of all the things you have to do with …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 05:06 PM
4

Everyone has different personalities, desires, and things that make them happy. As long as you give them the option to choose what they want that's all we're asking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 09:54 AM
3

I am someone I love. But seriously masturbation is different from sex and what I want out of it is different. As an analogy, I can enjoy playing single player games, and enjoy only playing multiplayer with friends I know and like, but can hate playing solo queue with randoms online for various reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 09:48 AM
1

Building stuff with legos is definitely a part of creating art. I don't think anyone can say that's not a creative thing to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 04:18 PM
1

Not having a period anymore seems pretty great. I know there's side effects and stuff, but still. Like not having a period anymore is a pretty damn good perk, I don't know what the side effects are but they have to be pretty bad to beat out having periods. If you're menopause age you're getting old anyways whether you're menopausing or not. I'd rather be old and not have to deal with periods than old and still have to deal with periods.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 07:12 PM
0

I don't know if it has to do with being straight or not, but if you're a woman your friends are also women. You tend to like the group you're friends with. And for some reason women seem to have a connection with other women. I feel comfortable running up to any woman to ask for help, there seems to be an inherently "I got you" thing with other women. Other women are also very in-tuned with me emotionally, like if I had emotional turmoil, they feel like a warm and safe place. This is on top of m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 05:51 PM
5

I actually don't know exactly what circumcision does. As a woman I don't think my opinion on this matters at all, it's not being done to my body and I don't even have the body part that it's being done to. I'll listen to whatever men tells me is right on this topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 05:18 PM
–

If they're hateful then they can be called out on their hatefulness separately from it being an echo chamber. But 2X market themselves as a support group, so I'm fine with it being an echo chamber.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 05:14 PM
–

I don’t think 2X is actually giving many women support. To paraphrase what I said in a previous comment, I don’t believe shit-talking, dragging men through the mud, and mere validation constitutes “support.” Honestly I don't read enough 2X to know if they're hateful or not. I also don't consider myself traumatized enough to really understand what everyone's been through and needs. The few I read when it made it to r/all seemed emotionally charged but not hateful. Like when your friend is hurt an…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 05:12 PM
3

I mean... yes. Any ideology that cannot challenge itself will have flaws and will be unable to adapt. However, there's a few things about echo chambers such as 2X and other support groups to note. People only have so much processing capabilities, very few people have the time or energy to process every ideology or state of the planet (especially when they have a stressful or hectic life at the moment). One of the benefits of being human is that we can communicate and pass down knowledge. And pra…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:55 PM
1

Are you going to give a definition of Chad? Because otherwise it's hard to be on the same page when discussing if most women have dated Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:31 PM
–

That's the kind of thing I do naturally. Naturally I would ask similar questions or behave similarly on each date, and make changes or improvements if I see a clear pattern of either positive or negative results. It sounds weird when you say it out loud like this, but that's how I naturally got better at dating. At one point I had a spreadsheet until I realized I didn't need it, I can analyze all this in my head just fine. I appreciate you fellow weirdo :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:29 PM
–

That's cool, I want a monkey.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:24 PM
1

What's your definition of Chad? We're pretty loose with what we call Chads around here.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:21 PM
–

Isn't this just marketing from diamond companies?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 04:54 PM
1

That feels like less of a there's lots of toxic people issue and more of a you're attracting all the toxic people issue. Unfortunately there are personalities that attract toxic people, or maybe it's a lack of support in other aspects of their lives. I said I have good intuition but that might be taking too much credit. My friends and family won't let me make a bad decision, and over time their way of thinking rubbed off on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 04:37 PM
1

Honestly women don't really ask men for dating advice that often. No one is saying looks don't matter, but desperation doesn't help. You often can't control your looks, so change what you can control. Bad personality usually only harms you in the sense that you get paired up with other people with bad or troubling personalities. Usually people are attracted to personalities they feel familiar with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 04:34 PM
1

Yeah, so not every woman has dated a Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 04:31 PM
1

Still not that many toxic people to go around. A criminal car thief can steal many cars, but I never had my car stolen nor do anyone I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 04:28 PM
1

I have a pretty generous definition of manipulation. Which is basically trying to lead someone to do something without fully disclosing your intent. This includes half truths and lying by omission. Some people are more socially savvy than others, some people can use that to take advantage of others depending on their moral compass. And pray tell, how do you know this exactly? You've read the minds of everyone you've had a conversation with? I can't know for sure because like you said I can't rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 04:26 PM
22

I know more hot women that have terrible personalities with guys crawling all over them than the other way around. Hot people will always find people that want to try something with them, but in my experience women are at least wary of the possibility of abuse while I have seen very smart and otherwise respectable men putting up with much worse behavior from hot women. Like throwing a knife at them level of messed up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:43 AM
4

No it's not... how many toxic people do you know? There's not enough toxic people for everyone to have a toxic ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:35 AM
19

Women's intuition is just like men's intuition. Some people have good intuition and some people aren't so good at it. Some people are good at manipulating and some people are bad at it. I have been pretty good at judging people and is pretty confident in my intuition. But maybe one day I'll meet someone that's better at manipulating than I am at judging them. You can hide your inner desperation, misogyny, and whatnot, and some people may not be able to see though it, but others will. Like I can …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:34 AM
3

Do the vast majority of women do that? Most women around me have been married for years and almost no one had a toxic ex, exes that didn't work out yes, but not toxic. I have only heard men are terrible retoric online.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:27 AM
1

It's not a perfect solution, but that's why there's a means testing to this. If you're rich enough where the child's life wouldn't be significantly impacted, then they can pay now. If they're not that rich, then chances are most of the money will go to the child anyways (unless there's negligence going on) which is the most vulnerable party here. In any fraud case, the goal is the make the damaged party as whole as possible. So I'm not really concerned with letting the woman off the hook and mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:24 AM
1

It's happening to men right now, and I don't like how it is right now, and I want it to be treated more like fraud. Laws are not set in stone, they have always changed with the times or when better ideas are presented. But there's a few nuisances to it if you try to practically implement it and I'm mulling over those nuisances. That's how you start solving a problem and actually move towards some kind of change. Other people including you can join in on how these obstacles can be overcome. If we…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 12:45 PM
1

Who is saying the man is obligated to stay around after he finds out the child isn't his?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 12:26 PM
1

You don't care but other people in society do. There's no point in having a discussion on it if it's implausible and it weakens your stance when you say things like "I don't care lol", especially when there is a good point in there. It actually is fraud, it hurts innocent men, and I feel like more can be done for them. But not caring about anything but your own feelings and lack of empathy will be reflected back to you by society, you not caring about what happens to the kids as long as the man …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 12:13 PM
1

My husband and I went through a checklist of stuff before we signed the marriage papers. We googled lists of things you should talk about before getting married and everything. We already talked about a lot of this stuff during dating and when we first talked about marriage, it was just a final confirmation before we sign kinda thing. I think it's a good idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 11:51 AM
1

I'm fine with treating it like any other fraud. Only hangup I have is, as long as she doesn't lose custody of the child, people within our society will not feel comfortable taking money away from the child. This might have to happen after the child turns 18 or something or if it's established the mother has enough net worth. Otherwise it would just be funneling money from the welfare / social system to the mother and to the not-father, at this point just have the government pay out instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 11:48 AM
–

I don't know any man that would forgive cheating. I wouldn't forgive it so I wouldn't understand why men would either. Either way I don't think they should. Also just because someone would forgive you for cheating doesn't mean you should do it. Just because they're desperate doesn't mean you should abuse that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 11:37 AM
1

Ok, it sounded like you thought men didn't have standards at all and didn't believe any man would which threw me for a loop. But I get you now. I do think most men get sex though. Harder than women would for casual sex, but by the literal definition of "most" as more than 50%, I think they get sex pretty consistently. Maybe not casual sex, but casual sex isn't something you're going to win against women. There are just too many biological and social factors and consequences pushing women away fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 11:31 AM
1

Honestly if my husband actually wanted to do that I would be ok with it. I've taken my shot at being an esports pro and failed at it one point too. As long as they act in good faith of the relationship, where you are reasonable and considerate to your partner rather than doing this maliciously to be lazy and take advantage of your partner's good will. A good relationship depends on both side acting in good faith, then everyone gets to have nice things.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 11:18 AM
1

Maybe we're misunderstanding what we were debating about. I didn't say men have just as high standards as women. Of course women as a whole have higher standards then men when it comes to sex. But just because men have lower standards, doesn't mean they have no standards. Sure I can get sex in 5 minutes, and my male peers might take a week. But there are still many weeks in a year and they can still be happy with that. Why would men even be in competition with women over this? This is like me be…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:53 PM
1

Nerds being socially awkward and an outcast was a relic of the past. Now nerdy stuff is cool and nerds are cool. We need to stop using the word nerd to describe awkward people because it's fundamentally two different things. I call myself a nerd all the time and people think I'm self derogating.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:28 PM
–

It took me like a month of daily practice in Mario Kart 8 to get better than my husband that played since he was in high school. I didn't even know about drifting before this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:25 PM
1

I'm not giving any dating advice for men here. If anything it's an observation that would help women more than men in dating. I think there would be men that disagree with you that no men have standards when it comes to who they sleep with. I think you're acting a bit immature in this discussion since you're not really addressing what I'm saying logically and assuming maybe just because something is obvious to you, it's true for everyone else. I already told you many people I know and grew up wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:16 PM
0

Guys are not a mystery, I grew up surrounded by them. I've seen them grow up, spent almost everyday with some of them, half my family are guys. I've seen how they act and their attitudes towards sex. Guys are just people, not sex crazy fanatics, and have standards for that just like anything else. Do you not also feel confident about how well you know the women you are surrounded by and grew up with?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:41 PM
–

Healthy people don't randomly leave someone for no reason. It could happen, but in normal circumstances it's not common enough to worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 07:01 AM
0

Yes, many guys around me would not just sleep with anyone. You might not, but some (many guys in my social circle) guys have standards even for casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 06:59 AM
1

I never said that. Obviously looks plays a big part, just for guys there are more things that can make up for it compared to the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 01:57 AM
1

Many guys I know are pretty picky. They're pretty desirable though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 01:53 AM
2

That's just you not caring about the quality of women you sleep with, which gives me some perspective on your original post. Most people are more discerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 06:39 AM
2

Makes sense. I'm millennial but strangely the fact that DBZ has such passionate younger fans makes me pretty happy. 90's anime are so slow (namik blowing up in 5 mins -_-), but I remember having infinite time so I didn't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 08:43 AM
1

Dragonball is pretty normie. At least DBZ is. It's just older. I know there's super and stuff but literally every millennial watched or knows about DBZ growing up. It's right next to Pokemon for nostalgia for the masses.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 08:30 AM
23

So if a group of women constantly complain on the internet about how terrible dating is, would you think they are less or more attractive than the group of women that aren't complaining? Obviously you can be attractive and still have dating problems, but it's common sense that on average the people that have the most problems dating will be less attractive. And most men I know are great people. No one ever lied to me to get sex. I have always trusted men and none of them betrayed that trust. I d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 07:36 PM
0

We're talking about why society shames men and women for certain actions. That means how many people it's affected, how long it's been happening, and how serious it was are all factors. Basically yes you are hurting now, but it hasn't been happening long enough and to enough people for your stories to reach many people and to have it settle in everyone's minds. Stories take time to pass on. And the stories are not as impactful. Most of the world is run on a meritocracy. Not getting a girlfriend,…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 06:26 PM
1

That would kinda scare me in a "he's mentally kind of off" way. I would say "sure", try to end the date early, and tell them I don't feel like we're a match after.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 05:26 PM
1

Career development. They're people that were underclass men when I was still in college. Interns I worked with, direct reports I've managed. People that graduated recently from the same program I was in. Or people that just reached out to me from LinkedIn that wanted help.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 05:12 PM
-1

We do see that recently there are some groups of men that try to shame women for not dating short etc. men. But this wound like you said isn't historical, it's a recent thing and isn't as significant as the women's trauma I've mentioned before. Men's concerns aren't nothing, but it just doesn't have the historical significance or the potency of the trauma women had. It's very similar to why oppressed races or other minority groups are also more sensitive to certain criticisms or how you talk abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 05:10 PM
1

First thought I had was sure. It's a one time emergency thing. Then I realized I can just hire someone to do it, which is probably what I will do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 06:27 AM
2

People are more likely to help you and be nice to other nice people. So it's beneficial for others to think you're nice. Just telling people you're nice after doing something mean is an ineffective way to convince most people of that though.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 05:07 AM
3

Yeah, it makes sense for my parents to have beliefs that is relevant to their time. They have lots of outdated beliefs about various cultures like Muslims and Indians being kinda traditional too. All young Koreans, Muslims, and Indian guys I know are pretty progressive and kind as far as I know. My parents know that but still don't want me to take a chance, especially with in laws and their expectations. It's just their advice, they don't force me to not date anyone. The point is South Korea in …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 04:23 AM
8

Well my parents know the culture better and not from k dramas. Edit: Also my parents did say the men there will probably treat you like an absolute princess before marriage and you'll feel great, but after marriage is when a ton of expectations will be dropped on you. I'm not sure if any of this is true, just what my parents told me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 04:01 AM
29

Yeah, my parents explicitly told me they don't want me to marry south korean men because they think they are too traditional and they will expect me to do a lot of housewife stuff. They're the least feminist country of the major east asian countries IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 01:50 AM
3

I think it has to do with the fact that a lot of men's standards were historical traumas. Women had or heard stories of extreme oppression and unfairness when it comes to stuff like sexual liberty / purity, extreme beauty standards, child brides etc. For example, I don't think women are as offended someone were to say "my standard is a woman with a phd" even though many women does not have a phd. It goes against historical narratives of oppression and salt doesn't hurt when there's no wound.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 01:46 AM
1

Yeah, some escorts definitely can choose to only accept clients she's attracted to, either because she is not desperate, is high in demand, or just love men and sex so much that it is easy for her to be attracted to her clients. But obviously the woman we're talking about isn't enjoying it but only doing it because she's desperate.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 10:20 AM
1

No, I will pay for guys I mentor professionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 08:57 AM
1

Or just spend it, give it to charity, create an endowment scholarship or something, give it to friends? Once you're dead you won't worry about it anyways, this is a just in case. Hopefully it's not something that will be relevant any time soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 08:41 AM
1

You don't have to be gay to sleep with a guy for money right? Like I don't think you have to be lesbian as a woman to sleep with a woman for money. Your sexuality just dictates who you're attracted to, but that doesn't matter in sex work since you're not expected to be attracted to your client anyways. You don't have to turn gay, you just have to be ok with having a bad time. Which is why you're getting paid.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 07:32 AM
1

I'm not an expert, but I would just leave it to my favorite people, whoever they are. Maybe to your siblings so they can manage it for their kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 07:28 AM
0

But isn't the whole point of sex work "I'm not attracted to you so therefore you pay me to sleep with you?" I feel like if a lesbian paid a straight female sex worker, she will most likely take the money and have sex with her like any other client.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 07:11 AM
1

Almost never
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 05:42 AM
0

You don't have to leave it to young kids especially if they're not your kids. What about your parents? For my children we have a trust that will go to them when they're 21, managed by grandparents until they do. You can't control if they will be good people after you pass, just trust they will be I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 05:38 AM
1

That's my friend's husband. He's great and we love going over to their place.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 07:00 AM
0

You can choose to not date overly emotional women, and I can choose to not date overly sexual men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 06:56 AM
5

Online dating honestly. I am too shy to approach anyone in real life and also too dense to understand signals any more subtle than "I like you, can we go on a date". But online dating lets me directly tell a guy I'm interested and know a guy is interested in me without any ambiguity. It sucks for guys that the gender ratios are bad for them on there though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 04:25 AM
1

My peers are those engineers you're talking about, and since we're older (mid 30's) the average salary is around $400k. They don't want to marry a random girl. They might be ok dating them for a while, but they want to marry equal as much as possible. Sometimes it's not possible so they date down, but most still want at least someone making $100k or has that potential education wise.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 12:06 AM
1

Physically no, mentally yes, emotionally no (he's similar to my mom emotionally though). My husband reminds me of the best of both my mom and dad, which is probably not a coincidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 05:08 AM
2

Most lawyers, male or female are attractive and charismatic. I don't know what's going on with that profession.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 05:03 AM
15

I have the same philosophy for trying to persuade someone to get married as I do for trying to persuade someone to have children. If you don't want it and don't see a personal benefit to it, absolutely do not do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 03:11 AM
4

I wish, I paid like $170k in taxes last year.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 05:11 AM
7

I mean if a woman thinks the way you did / described about sex, I doubt she'll have a problem with a guy paying for sex and doesn't need you to convince her. People are either compatible or not, and that depends on the people involved and you can't say one thing is objectively right.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 01:40 AM
6

I'm skinny, but I have no self control. I just don't like eating. But I would play a video game until 5am in the morning on a weekday. I'm probably one of the laziest people you know otherwise, unless you know a bunch of people that can't bother to get a job or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 12:48 AM
–

It's pretty obvious. People tend to help women when they cry, compared to men who are less likely to get help and more likely to get shamed for it. I was kind of stoic and didn't like to cry as a child, my parents always praised me when I was brave so I was proud of myself when I don't cry even in tough situations. But then adults around me kept telling me I should cry more, because girls that cry more get more help and attention. I still don't like to cry because it feels weird, but I started b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:56 PM
3

If you think like that you might be someone that is more suited for an open marriage. Not everyone is like that though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 05:31 PM
–

Why bother cheating? Stay single and you can have casual sex all you want without even having to do things to make a gf happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 05:27 PM
2

I'm actually a pretty mediocre wife on paper. But my husband seems happy so I don't know what's going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 10:32 PM
1

I just cannot talk to strangers in real life unless I'm literally paid to do so. Or ordering food I guess, but even then I prefer not to (self check out).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 10:29 PM
1

"oh, don't normally the guy propose? It's cool you're doing it instead, what are you going to do?"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 06:50 PM
1

People are giving you a hard time for it, but are you still living at home / don't have a job? As long as you think your dad is fine with it, I think it's fine. He wants to spend time with you, and you're doing what you can within your means for now. Maybe do a few more things that cost no money on actual father's day. My parents also had a joint account and paid for any mother's and father's day stuff. At one point I bought him a PS2 controller for father's day out of their joint account. It wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 06:47 PM
1

I had no financial issues, but did miss my parents for a while. I didn't want to leave, but I had to because I would never have learned to be independent otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 07:55 AM
2

Yeah, there's many benefits of being a woman. Able to show weakness and ask for help. I don't feel shame asking for help. If I cry and a bunch of people will immediately react and offer to help. More able to choose to pursue a career or a home maker. It's much more viable for me to be a career woman than it is for a man to be a house husband. More able to step out of gender roles than men. A woman with masculine traits are more accepted and sometimes even celebrated compared to a man with femini…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 01:03 PM
2

That depends on the target audience. Romance movies that targets women have very talented and attractive men chasing average women. If you watch anime targeted at men, there's lots of talented and attractive girls chasing after an average man. Media produces what it can sell, realistic or not. Action movies have guys surviving 10 gun shots and a fall from a cliff and no one complains.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 09:35 PM
1

It's not worse or better, but men tend to treat women like an "other", which isn't completely unreasonable. But I do with men would treat me like other men so they wouldn't treat me differently. It's like when you join a new group of friends, but you never fully integrate in even though you get close. This was a major problem when I was younger, but less and less as everyone grew up and the guys matured enough to know better and try to make me feel more at ease and included. And as they started …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 08:12 PM
1

Why would it be different between a bear with a human gay man brain and a large gay man if they can both do the same damage to you? It's because you think there is a difference it makes me think you're not actually that scared of a bigger man. I don't know how well a man can defend himself against someone 5 inches taller and 30 pounds heavier, but some part of you have to think you have somewhat of a chance against the bigger man compared to a bear. For a woman, often we think we have zero chanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 01:47 AM
–

No, I don't know where everyone is finding all these super undesirable men. Lots of decent guys out there. I've never felt the needle in a haystack thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 01:01 AM
3

I don't know. I think some answer bear just to ruffle feathers, while others genuinely had bad experiences with men. My interpretation of the question was always you're in a forest alone with a bear, not 20 feet away. In that case it's most likely the best will leave you alone or not be interested in you at all. A man, if he wants to hurt you, is more dangerous than a random bear (assuming not hungry or defending cubs). So the question really is how likely do you think a random man would want to…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 10:41 PM
5

Because I don't know if I like him enough until I date him and get more information. I can't like someone just from how he looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 05:51 AM
2

You can ask women to help solve your problems, but it doesn't make sense to rely on the feminist group to do the organizing for you and lead the charge. Feminists went to men with a problem, told them why it's bad, and what they can do to help. You can ask for help, but you still need to ask and do the initial work and planning. Men can organize and present a list of problems, why women should help and what we can do. Men do have some groups that are trying. I actually really liked the MRAs when…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 12:54 AM
1

I don't like men with a lot of sexual history because I don't myself. I like dating people I can relate to and think of sex similarly as me. I totally could get why someone with less sexual experience would feel incompatible with someone that has more experience. What I don't like is when men insult or belittle women with more sexual experience. I wouldn't date someone that slept around a lot, but I don't think of him as less of a person nor would I insult him. I'm not going to have problems wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:42 PM
1

No one is forcing you to date women or do any of that. If all you want is sex and don't want to bother with everything else about women, then hiring an escort is the easiest way to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:33 PM
-1

Then don't play them. There's a lot more games that appeal to men, stop playing things that aren't trying to appeal to you then complaining about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:29 PM
1

People that says "who hurt you" are trying to imply that you are coming from a place of pain, which can skew your perception of things. It could be that women hurt you, but who hurt you is not the point, the point is that the way you look at things are distorted because of the pain. Men try to say similar things about women being bitter even though it might very well be a man that hurt her. The other thing that they can be trying to do is to hurt you by bringing up your pain. It's not a particul…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 08:17 AM
2

I choose #1. I want my daughter to grow up to have a normal experience. Of course being completely repulsed by the other gender romantically is bad, and if that's your experience as a guy then I agree that's terrible. In my experience that's not true for my male friends or brother though, and personally I think having a son or a daughter would both have a good chance at a happy life.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 08:06 AM
2

I can see how it's frustrating if other people assume you don't know what you're doing in terms of raising a child just because you're a guy. But if it makes you feel better, moms get unsolicited advice all the time too. I'm a new mom and I get advice all the time from randoms. I don't mind though, being new at this I kind of welcome advice of all kinds. I've always been pretty good at listening to all kinds of advice, combining that with my own research, picking out what's applicable to me and …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 06:35 AM
1

Depends on the relationship you have with everyone else. I'm very close to my parents and friends, so I'm going to be very transparent with them on things, finances is definitely something I would be very transparent about. But if I agree with someone that I won't tell their business then I won't. There are definitely stuff that is obviously told to me in confidence that I wouldn't tell. But most things I would tell friends and family, and I would make that pretty clear.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 06:27 AM
1

If you think I have nothing to offer that's your right to think so, and you don't have to date me. It's up to each individual man that meets me to decide that. Also what's wap?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 12:55 AM
3

I want a guy, but I have no control over whether he likes me or not. It's up to me to be me, and up to him if he likes me. I'm not sure what you mean by accountability. I only have to be accountable to myself, I wouldn't fault any guy for not liking me, I don't want to force any guy to like me if he doesn't. I don't know who you define as Chad, but I'm happy with the people I do attract, so I don't really care about some random undefined guy you call Chad. Fuck "liking". Why should any man you w…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 11:50 PM
9

I don't concern myself with why any guy likes me. That's for the guy to figure out himself. Whether someone likes me is not up to me, so I don't worry about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 11:11 PM
3

They're not the same person?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 01:42 AM
2

My parents immigrated from Asia. We had a full time house keeper and that was very common. Like every middle class family had one.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 04:02 PM
1

I'm in tech, and almost all of my coworkers are making around same as me, so to me it doesn't' feel that rare. Do you work for yourself or have coworkers? You don't have female coworkers that makes around the same as you? Although in tech specifically there are a lot more men than women so it will be harder for a guy to find a woman that makes similar to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 02:12 AM
2

That's what I would expect from most mentally healthy men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:43 PM
1

My standards will definitely be a deal breaker for some people. That's normal, not everyone will like you or can accept your standards. Although I wouldn't leave my husband if he have a professional misfortune, since he's my husband and family. We are considering early retirement so we might both quit in a few years anyways. These standards are for initial dating, which at that point they're strangers, not for people I already love and care for. I'm not gonna leave my husband if he can't work an…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 04:46 AM
2

To me $300k and $400k is very similar to each other and in the same realm of earning potential especially if your compensation has a large equity component. It sucks to struggle with dating, I work with and are friends with lots tech guys that make very similar money to me and fits the above criteria too, some of them do well and some struggle depending on luck and other factors like sociability. Sorry about your last girlfriend's family. But at least it makes you appreciate your own parents / f…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 04:02 AM
2

Software engineer
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 12:59 PM
1

$9.99 on a toy for my infant. My husband spent like $200 on groceries if that counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 08:25 AM
4

My standards probably filter out a lot of people, but it's rather reasonable for me since men like this is common around me. I date a lot based on how I feel about the person, but the big checkmarks are: Make around the same or more than me (I make around $400k). I'm looking for someone with similar earning potential rather than just a straight up total comp, since even my own TC of $400k varies wildly depending on the stocks of the company I work for. 5'8 or taller, I'm actually flexible here s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 08:13 AM
1

Why didn't the maid do it?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 09:56 PM
1

Thanks, I appreciate that!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 07:54 PM
1

For me I think motherhood was very much promoted. It was the default life path and only very recently was there even talks of an alternate path of not having kids. Most of my friends have kids, a couple chose to not have kids. When I was doing my research there were a lot of polarizing opinions. Motherhood was either the best thing ever or children are the worst thing ever. In reality I think how much you enjoy it really depends on who you are and what you enjoy doing. I think society should be …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 07:53 PM
1

No, I actually had a lot of pressure to have kids. I'm not the typical person that always wanted to be a mom. I was on the fence for a bit. I'm not naturally drawn to children or go "aww" when I see them. I'm a pretty spoiled and childish person and like to play rather than work. But I also had great parents that gave me so much love, and in some ways I want to copy / be like them. It felt wrong only receiving this type of love and not passing it on to someone. And eventually my parents wanted g…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 09:23 AM
1

Of course. My whole life all I wanted was for guys to treat me like another guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:37 AM
1

Yes, and I got myself one recently.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:35 AM
1

When I was actively dating yes. When in a relationship, married, or when I was single and not dating, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:32 AM
5

At one point my salary was exactly $100k and I went around telling everyone I made 6 figures :P
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 09:16 PM
–

I agree, as a society we don't spoil kids enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 09:05 PM
2

I like momma's boys because I'm also super close to my parents / really spoiled by them and momma's boys won't judge me for it <sup>_</sup>^
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 11:15 AM
–

Good for that guy
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 11:11 PM
2

Nerds aren't autistic. I worked with autistic people before, they are actually difficult to communicate with (still good people). Nerds are at most shy but can easily communicate with you once you start talking.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 11:05 PM
3

What?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 11:01 PM
5

I work and are surrounded by tech guys. They're not autistic or close to it. I don't know why people slander tech guys like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 09:04 PM
2

That's because men used to fight and die in wars so wives being widowed was a very common thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 07:39 AM
1

Probably because it's actually not that great of an experience. For me it hurt at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 07:37 AM
1

Most people around me keep their word. Most have too much to lose reputation wise if they screw someone over. I also cut ties with people that are not honest so I think over time my social group fill up with honest people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 07:34 AM
1

I'm totally ok with men not approaching though. I don't approach because I'm shy. But I don't want men to approach me either because I'm shy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 07:29 AM
1

Very often. Most days actually. I forgot the content of most of my dreams though. I think they're fantasy heavy, like me being in a video game or mystery show or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 02:21 PM
1

Well I only have 1 brother so he's the closest comparison I've got. We're pretty similar in many ways when it comes to personality, mannerisms and hobbies. He's a nerdy introvert like me, which is not a bad thing in our social circle. Most of my friends are nerdy introverts and I married one myself. We used to compete on who memorized more digits of pi and stuff like that. We're both very high earning people, which benefit men more than women. Both of us makes well into 6 figures and has million…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 02:15 PM
–

Board game cafes are like 50% women
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 05:22 AM
–

That's my cousin. She doesn't disclose it, but she's not actually that interested in dating so a lot of her dates are people her mom or other relatives introduced so they know.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 12:41 AM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 06:33 PM
2

He does better than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 04:58 AM
7

I'm sure it'll be different. But if I was a guy I would date differently. All the habits and mannerisms I've picked up until now are things that work best for women. If I grew up as a man, I would pick up different mannerisms and dating skills. I'm not sure what I would be like as a guy, but my brother is the closest to me in terms of genetics and upbringing, so he's the best proxy I've got.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 03:17 AM
7

If my brother is a realistic representation of myself as a guy, then I'll do pretty well. He was always more popular than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 11:52 PM
1

No, and we will no longer be friends. I actually did cut off a friend for cheating before.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 06:42 PM
2

A bit in my teens and early 20's. Not anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 04:06 AM
1

Family vacation with my parents and brother when I was a teenager. We picked apples and my mom and dad each held one of my hands while we walked towards the sunset. Close second is when I was stressed with exams and studying and my dad told me I'm not allowed to study that day and took me on this really cool hike / daytrip. We scaled cliffs and sneaked under a waterfall and stuff like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 10:30 PM
2

That's more of a toxic work culture thing. Older generations or specific industries are bad at saying no to their bosses and it looks like she built up resentment because of that. I bet you if she slowed down a bit the CTO would be just fine with it. Most millennials I know are pretty good at saying no to more work. I'm sure gen Z is better. Most my coworkers make at least $250k per year and no one works that long and managers don't make unreasonable requests. Some personalities are more prone t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 09:36 AM
1

They probably work just as many hours as normal people or less but just gets paid more. Usually as your career gets better you have more leverage with your boss since you’re less replaceable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 09:02 AM
3

It’s probably because my dad looks young, but people mistake him for my husband or boyfriend all the time and it sucks. Although at times it can be funny. My dad would start talking about his wife and people would pull me aside warning me he is already married and I would have to tell them he’s talking about my mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 08:58 AM
1

It's very good advice though. If you can't stop comparing yourself against other people, you will feel bad no matter how successful you are. When you first get some success you might feel great because you beat other people, but over time the goal post will always change. The luckiest people are those that are easily satisfied.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 01:43 AM
3

I mean I would rather be emotionally vulnerable with a tree than an random person too. It's not sexist. Why would I want to be emotionally vulnerable with a random person?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 06:21 PM
2

But taxes are not meant to drag rich people down. Fundamentally it's for fundraising. The government needs money, and rich people have the money to give. Taxing poor attractive people won't be in the spirit of why we tax. You're just doing it because you want them to pay for having a better life. Which might be how you want society to be, but we're not ready to accept taxes based off of excess happiness rather than just a means to generate revenue.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:24 AM
1

If I have more money I can give you some to help you, and being rich I have the money to give. The point of taxing the rich is to raise money to help the poor, not to punish the rich or try to make their lives less enjoyable. An attractive person cannot transfer their attractiveness to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:02 AM
1

Yeah, but on average having a longer life means you'll have more good years of life too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 09:59 AM
1

The testosterone can't be helped. The stress and hostility part we can do something about so that's optimistic. I like living longer myself but I want men to live longer too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 09:48 AM
2

My grandma is still pretty healthy. She's 90 this year. She's still running a business and is making me help ship packages to her customers. My grandpa was sick for 2 years before he passed. It sucked at times for him, but I think he would've wanted to live longer even when sick. A heart attack is one thing, but if you die of old age it will usually be from your body breaking down slowly. My great grandma just died in her sleep one day and was living normally before. I guess my family doesn't ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 09:45 AM
1

Different people have different desires in terms of life span. I prefer to love longer personally and think it's a positive. And you know a long span is generally valuable. There are billionaires and kings that spent ridiculous amounts of money and resources to live a bit longer.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 09:40 AM
1

Different preferences for everyone. I suppose it's a pro for some people. Everyone gets health issues close to end of life though, and if your end of life is later it also means you get the serious health issues later. My grandma is still living strong but my grandpa passed away almost a decade ago. He probably would've liked to see a lot of milestones myself and my cousins achieved and had more time to enjoy his retirement. At the same time, he passed with my grandma (and all his children and g…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 08:04 AM
2

Pregnancy is something that you can't do 50/50 on. There are things that no matter how much the dad wants to help, he can't because it's a biological limitation. It sucks being the sex that has to give birth, but it's the reality, and this reality itself is not really your partner's fault. But there are many things the men can do to help. They can do things around the house, make sure you're well fed and healthy, do what they can to pick you up when you're not feeling your best. They cannot be p…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 07:07 AM
1

3-4 times a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 04:35 AM
–

No
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 11:58 PM
–

Define ultimatum. I don't know if that's different than enforcing deal breakers. Is if you cheat I will leave an ultimatum?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 11:56 PM
–

That's what interviews are for. I'm sure if most hiring manager were to choose between a random person on the street and a dog to do a job that needs a specific skill and has any notable consequences of failure, they would choose a dog too. Skill aside, dogs won't steal compared to an unverified employee. This isn't some special revelation. If this is a bear or man comparison, the women were asked between a random guy or a bear. Not someone they know or can interview/ verify and a bear. I would …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 11:54 PM
–

I mean if a dog can do the job, then hire a dog.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 09:43 PM
28

We are definitely more protective of girls than boys when it comes to dating in general. In the past abuse towards men were not talked about enough. Hopefully next generation will be more informed and do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 09:14 PM
–

Yeah I agree my mom is a very good mom and set me up on a good path in life. It almost definitely helped my relationships since I go to her for relationship advice all the time. I was a super late bloomer but once I got into a relationship it has been pretty smooth.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 08:12 AM
6

And that's the goal of waiting, or not waiting. So we find out sexual incompatibility so both people can move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 08:06 AM
5

Depends what you mean treated like an adult. As we age we gradually get more responsibility and trust and it's hard to know when that becomes an adult. I kinda always felt respected in terms of my own wants and autonomy to the extent I wanted it at any age. She took my words and thoughts very seriously even as a small child even when they're objectively ridiculous. On the other hand, my mom still babies me in many other situations today. Like making me food, handling errands, going to doctor's a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 09:53 PM
–

If you can make it happen go for it. I just hope you will be an attentive dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 09:34 PM
–

It's harder to be the CEO of multinational than be a hot girl. And that's why you can still get a hot girl without being the CEO of a multinational company.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 09:15 PM
2

Depends what it is and if it involves other people's private matters that you're also sharing without permission. Some people might violate other people's privacy and others won't, but as a group if others respond well to your complaints or call for help well, you will overall be more incentivized to do it compared to if you get shut down or ignored when you complain.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 07:23 PM
2

Well my dad wouldn't approve of a large age gap and also wouldn't approve of me dating certain races and cultures. I'm totally fine with that. Also keep in mind that it's not a "because I say so" ban. He gives me logical reasons why he disapproves of certain things and ultimately I make the decision if I think his logic checks out. It does in most situations, in some situations not so much. But often just the idea of him being sad is enough for me to not do something.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 03:29 PM
35

Women are socialized to be more open because we tend to get more help when we share vulnerability. It's the same reason women feel more ok with crying. My personality isn't actually one where I like to share weakness or private matters. But whenever I do it's usually a positive experience since people either try to help or make me feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 03:16 PM
2

It's not easy to find a partner that is for you, but it's not impossible either. It shouldn't be as easy as going to Walmart to pick out hot wheels, why would it be? It takes effort, time, and patience. It took me 2 years to find someone that had the qualities I want, was compatible with me, and liked me back.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 06:02 AM
6

My grandparents love each other a lot with lots of passion and I think they're truly happy and would marry each other again. My parents admitted they don't have much in common other than kids. They probably wouldn't have gotten married in today's environment. They married out of logic and matched well on paper, and never put much thought into personality. But they're both good people and treat the other well, and just kinda going with the flow.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 07:08 PM
5

I also had more dating success when I got older. Some people just age into their look. I was all lankey and awkward looking when I was in my teens and early 20's. I started getting a lot more attention after 25. Being older might have also helped me be more social since I had more things to talk about. My career was going well and maybe I spoke with more confidence, had more stories to tell, and just acted more lively and happy than when I was younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 05:01 AM
3

Because feed is a consumable and you have to eat it. It's an expected ongoing expense. Clothes don't go away after you wore them. So unless you have no clothes at the moment, you technically could just wear the clothes you already have. Which is functionally a redundancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 06:35 AM
5

Let her continue. This type of medical situation isn't the time to be petty. Even if she likes him it's not the time for it. After he recovers I might bring it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 05:15 AM
28

If it helps someone then I think it's good. The people that like AI can be with AI, the people that prefer other people can stick with real people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 02:36 AM
2

That's the case for me at least. Although when I did have sex with my now husband, it was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. I think I have very low sex drive if I'm just by myself. I can be single and be celibate indefinitely. But if there's someone in the picture, then I'm more sexual and have more sexual desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 12:40 AM
–

That's ok, I'm just tossing info out there. You can do what you want with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 08:44 PM
–

I grew up with people around me identifying as feminists. The topic of dating never came up. It's not an issue most mainstream feminists cares about. The most dating related thing that was said was saying you don't have to marry a man or be in a relationship if you don't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 07:57 PM
1

I always thought that would be pretty cool. I don't like jewelry anyways but at least I can eat this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 05:13 PM
3

That sounds so nice
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 02:39 AM
2

Imagine you're with a gorilla. It has shown no signs of aggression and was always a friendly gorilla. You probably still don't want to do anything that can provoke it (like messing with its food, interrupting a mating opportunity etc.) based on how it can possibly do if it gets upset. This is an extreme example since we hope humans act less on instinct than gorillas, but it's a example that can hopefully help you imagine why someone would take precautions around something that is much stronger t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 01:11 AM
3

I disagreed with some women on here before. But it's true that I generally don't like disagreeing with other women, it feels meaner for some reason. Other women are just really nice to me in real life and was supportive of me even when I was really different and was a little brat at times. I trash talk a lot more with guys and I feel more comfortable saying things that would be considered mean with my female friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 12:41 AM
1

Sounds all really messy. Maybe that woman likes drama?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 02:30 AM
2

I'm fine with how things are now. I put a lot of thought into it since I was a teenagers and is at peace with everything. The boys were just immature because they were young, and young people often not that emotionally intelligent and makes mistakes. The boys really just didn't want to play with a girl. It's much easier for them to play with other boys and they were just being honest. I can't really force them to want to. Girls that age doesn't really want to involve boys in their activities eit…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 02:28 AM
1

Healer of some kind
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 08:57 PM
8

Yes he is
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 05:14 PM
2

I'm really stingy and so are my friends. We Venmo each other over a $5 drink or something. We all make very good money too. Once I hung out with another group where I know they don't make as much money. I was probably making 5 times more than them. They would pay for my stuff all the time and refuse when I try to pay them back. It was just candy and ice cream here and there but it was weird. It's not that hard to venmo and I don't actually want them to pay for me. They actually have money troubl…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 02:04 PM
2

I have never seen anyone try to help someone get past fear of heights. We just don't ask them to do anything that involves height. Just yesterday we went our with friends over this cool bridge and a guy sat out because he is scared of heights. As for driving, sometimes if it cripples your life enough we might encourage it. But often there's enough alternatives for them to not have to drive. My friend didn't want to drive because she has a 5 second reaction time and drove into someone's yard last…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 01:47 PM
2

For my son we're making sure he has friends early (we make friends with the parents and hopefully he will make friends with their kids). Bring him to daycare to socialize early. Also just bring him around a lot of different situations. I find having cool stories to tell makes socializing easier for me. I don't know if it'll work. Both me and my husband went to nerd schools where you become popular by having the highest grades. We can enroll him in something like that if nothing else works.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 01:39 PM
2

They didn't have periods, they got a lot stronger during puberty. I had a lot of male dominated interests such as video games and sports and I felt very excluded and not supported in exploring those hobbies. Boys didn't really like playing with girls before romantic interest kicked in, and after it kicks in it can be pretty obvious they didn't want to just play with you for fun the same way as they wanted to play with other boys. I mostly hated being a girl so I tried distancing myself from stuf…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 01:20 PM
1

I resented men mostly out of jealousy when I was a teenager. Other than that men had always been good to me and I feel very safe around them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 08:15 PM
1

Was sad and mopey for a week or so. Then slowly felt better and got over it. No blaming of either side, sometimes people just don't like you and that's ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 06:43 PM
2

Yeah, I have a friend that's really likable. Everytime I hang out with her I feel better after. I've been trying to copy her personality since I was in high school. Some stuff rubbed off on me but others stuff that comes so naturally to her requires lots of conscious effort from me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 08:43 AM
2

No, I just got hit by a car. If there was ever a time to call an ambulance this is it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 08:37 AM
1

Men have to either throw money at stuff or watch a youtube video and do hard work too. Having more strength makes it easier, but it's still hard work sometimes. People sometimes have to do hard work, it's a part of life. Definitely if you can find a partner that likes this stuff, let him help you. But marrying someone is merging everything about your lives together and a big deal, you shouldn't do it just because you don't want to change a tire once in a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 07:28 AM
6

We're also redditors, which tends to hate on other social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 09:52 AM
–

Very difficult moral dilemma here. I hate war and conscription in general, and I would flee the country and try to get any male relatives to flee too. From an individual perspective, it's such a silly thing to die for. But in Ukraine's situation, if everyone does that then they don't have a country. I do think if they're going to draft men they should draft women too. The army needs as much help as it needs, there are lots of non-combat and less strength based roles that women can do if the mili…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 09:50 AM
1

They won't be. They will whine about misogyny, racism, islamophobia etc if the same generalization is done to any other demographics because of some tragic experience. I'm not sure how you would know that. The question that was asked was a simple one and so was the answer, but I feel like you're reading into it and adding a lot of your own thoughts and emotions to it. Your help wouldn't be needed. The day they try is the day they lose whatever rights they have. Women only have rights because men…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 09:40 AM
1

Dating app
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:49 AM
–

I thought attachment issues can be worked on and fixed?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:43 AM
1

40 year old. Probably more survival experience or at least life experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:41 AM
3

No, I was single / virgin until I was 28. Obviously no one at work knew if my sexual history, but they did know I was single. I don't think I was treated any different.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:38 AM
10

There's this great thing call money you can earn by doing stuff you know how to do, and spend it to procure services for things you don't know how to do. Or just watch a youtube video.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:37 AM
1

if they have had some tragic experience, it's understandable. My only question is if they would be okay with similar generalizations by men or any other group based on some tragic experience. A man got divorce raped and he starts to think the same of all women? A man was a victim of paternity fraud and he starts to think all women are like that? A white guy had a bad experience with a black person and starts to think all black people are like that. From an individual perspective, I'm ok with all…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:31 AM
2

Yes I would. If someone had been hurt by a certain race over and over again it makes sense they wouldn't want to be with someone of that race, and it's kinda cruel forcing them to do so. We're not letting that person legislate anything against that race, but he can choose who to hang out with. This is also applicable to men towards women. If a man has been hurt by women all his life, it would be really cruel to force him to make female friends or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 04:10 PM
2

Bears are stronger than men but most will be uninterested in you compared to man. I would choose the man because I think most men are good, but I see where people are coming from. Each woman's answer to this probably depends on how safe they think the average man is which can differ wildly based on life experience. Unfortunately I've spoken to women that had such tragic experiences with men that she might think men are women's natural predators, while bears are not despite being stronger. At the…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 03:52 PM
2

Same reason women want to play/watch female characters. You relate to men more. Luckily for you, there's tons of media with male leads so have fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 04:49 AM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 06:19 PM
-1

If it's a random person and the island is generally safe, then woman. Unless the island has other dangerous creatures that a man would have a better chance of fighting off.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 08:02 AM
2

I don't think it's about hating men, it's about fearing men. I would choose the man but that doesn't mean I hate bears. They're cool, but I don't want to risk getting killed by one.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:16 AM
–

I would need a seat or something but otherwise it's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 07:53 PM
–

If you're above average financially, then you can aim to marry above average financially. When I dated I looked for above average in a lot of things, but it was reasonable because I was also above average either in the same stuff or somewhere else that is similarly valuable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 06:24 PM
1

Meh, I had enough people being shamelessly depressive and mopey around me. Online is also full of woe is me complaints. Even so many men does it, and women often are more likely to open up about this stuff than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 03:40 AM
1

People vent and complain about their lives all the time though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 01:36 AM
1

Yes and yes. From a "good enough" perspective. We all have bad thoughts sometimes, but most want to be good and try our best.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 02:23 PM
23

I think younger people are more used to the dating app formula. Kind of like how younger people doesn't like calling someone compared to older people. The preferred and familiar method of communication is just different. I dislike ambiguity in communication. Dating apps make your intentions very clear and you have to show mutual interest before even speaking with each other. You can't misread signals. Honestly I like the coldness and matter of fact nature of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 06:18 AM
1

"Most men are good so my son will be good too" I mean assuming I had this son in wedlock and the marriage is good, his dad must have already be a good enough person.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 07:50 PM
2

I think it's fine if it's an emergency, but not because the women's line is too long.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 06:34 PM
1

The wording of being the prize is weird. I wouldn't have thought being a prize was a good thing. It implies lack of agency and something to be won based off of other people's merits. I have countless trophies, awards and prizes I won in the past. They're all collecting dust somewhere. What I value and is proud of is the skills I had to win those prizes. The prizes themselves didn't mean much. It's not a good position.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 03:03 AM
6

Everyone is different. I actually have a very low sex drive. It doesn't make me look good at all, since lots of guys wouldn't like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 09:54 PM
1

I got offered 30k but didn't do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 09:01 PM
–

Makes sense for those that are looking for a relationship. I don't know anyone that would be upset about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 06:03 AM
–

Other women always had by back growing up so naturally I want to support other women too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 03:22 AM
2

Yeah, I'll propose to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 02:35 AM
–

I disagree with your premise but I think your conclusions are fine. I would be incompatible with you, but if you operate the way you say you will, I will find out quickly and won't waste much time. I appreciate that. Maybe I have been around good people all my life, but I don't mind using a bit of my time and resources on someone even if it doesn't work out. Every action you do takes some time and resources, and we risk time and resources on almost everything we do. I spent thousands of hours do…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 02:23 AM
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