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chasingconfidence Archive

View 7 posts and 93 comments by chasingconfidence on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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14

To your question in the OP, what about saying that you are interested in hearing about his house hunting is going along, but you feel uncomfortable going to open houses, home depot, decorating given this stage of the relationship because it is not your house until y'all are married? I think you can state that standard and maintain the momentum of the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:59 AM
7

For me, it's only "our house" if we are married and my name is on the house or I put money towards the house. Men who talk that way without marriage or proposing also give me "I want you to live with me before marriage" vibes, which is a strong no from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:34 PM
29

Perhaps, I am too strict, but I think a man should only be getting the opinion on his house, interior decorating, etc once he has explicitly asked her hand in marriage (better yet a wife!). Because in the dating stage, it is all talk. He could be waxing poetic about the future while feeling unsure if he wants you to be the wife living there permanently. They make you feel like it will be "our house" or a "home for us" when they are simply telling you what you want to hear and they have no intent…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:59 PM
6

See, that too is communication! haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:32 PM
27

Any "communication" at this point should be Her: "Look, I want marriage. Do you want to marry me: yes or no?" Him: No. Her: Okay. I'm moving me and baby back home. Good luck in life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:24 PM
20

Honestly, as I read this post, I thought about a friend a mine who has been with her man for 7-8 years. They got engaged early this year and recently had a baby. She moved in with him after getting engaged. However, they began looking for a house to buy together and trying to have a baby prior to their engagement. After the baby was born, I asked if they had a wedding date set. The answer: no. I am very skeptical that her fiancé will marry her, especially as she sacrificed on her standards for h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:20 PM
10

I wanted to hear thoughts on couples counseling for non-married couples. Maybe someone can show me another perspective. I feel that if you are in or need couples counseling prior to marriage, then perhaps the relationship isn't worth savings. I say this as someone who is a big believer in proposals should happen within 18 months and marriage should be within in 2 years. What do y'all think? Am I being to rigid with this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:16 PM
46

Because it is far easier to leave the woman when he finds someone better, even if he has children. Also, children feeds into "continuing my legacy and gene pool" thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:08 PM
66

Men are selfish. Women need to be MORE selfish. We need to consistently prioritize our needs and wants (unless children are involved then there needs to be more balance).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:38 PM
74

Damn. I feel horrible for her. I'd buy her a glass of wine, if I knew her. The chances of this man marrying her are in the single digits. She needs to give him an ultimatum and mean it. She also needs to be preparing to move back to her hometown. This is main reason why you don't have children or live together prior to marriage. It is also another example of why you should end a relationship if he isn't talking marriage in the 6 months-1 year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 01:07 PM
19

Anger is normal. Anger is part of the human experience. How you express the anger is where there can be a problem. And for some men, they express their anger, distrust, hatred, and disrespect of women via "kinks" like the ones you mentioned. Idk if the women "enjoy thinking of themselves as a cool girl" or sincerely enjoy. Who am I to tell them what they actually enjoy? I do know this...."that men look down on the women who let men do this to them" is incredibly common and routine thinking among…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:30 AM
3

I never said or even implied marriage is inoculation for abuse. Most women know abuse can and does happen during marriage. That's a given that does not need to be explained, especially on this forum. My point is that marriage is that requires more sacrifice, investment, and commitment. Therefore, things that you would not and should not do prior to marriage is much more sensible and understandable to do in the context of marriage. Before anyone else has a reactionary response and jumps the gun, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:22 AM
2

I disagree with HIGHLY with this video. When the series originally aired, I enjoyed the transformation of Charlotte. As I'm older, I feel the complete opposite. I hate that they seem to have made her lower her standards to Harry. While he treated her well, he was not (if I recall accurately) attractive to her and she felt embarrassed by how he looks. Yet as always, women are encouraged to sacrifice our physical attraction to a man to "see what's in his heart" and to accept him "because he treats…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:50 AM
3

Hrmmm...that's one perspective. I see it differently. I know several couples, including my own parents that have been married for nearly 50 years, who had courthouse weddings (for various reasons) that have healthy, loving marriages (from what I can see being an outsider). Saying that a courthouse wedding is an alarm or sign of abuse, coercion, control, isolation, low effort, or whatever else is, to me, very short-sighted. In observing the lives of others and my own life, LVM do not want marriag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:19 AM
84

I am very thankful for this sub. For so long, I thought "am I too prudish/conservative?" or "not adventurous enough?" cause anything involving spanking, choking---kinkish turns me off. Yet, I had friends and associates who would proclaim to love it. Glad to know I'm neither alone nor crazy for being completely turned off by this stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:14 AM
-5

You are being unnecessarily rude and hostile. I did not come at you in any condescending way. I simply explained my definition of engagement, as many think engagement as being more significant. Your tone was wholly unnecessary and uncalled for. Lastly, nothing I said equals low effort. Marriage itself is the highest effort and far higher than engagement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:57 AM
15

I completely understand and agree. No way in the world would I move to some country where my skillset has no monetary value or I have no support system. I also would never move to a small town for a man, regardless of marriage. And regardless if I could support myself there or have social support there. I HATE small town living. I refuse to be miserable for a man. ​ I think this is a good topic for women to talk about. We need to set a standard of where we would and would not move to for a man a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:49 AM
-8

To me, proposal = a promise to marry. I think engagements are not often necessary. I know several couples who had very short "engagements." It's an intermediary phase because the total commitment has not happened. Engagement only happens because of the wedding. If we didn't have weddings, there'd be no engagement step. In fact, you can get married, then have the wedding...I digress... You are still dating when engaged. It is simply a promise to marry. I think if you want to get married, then do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:42 AM
29

Truth be told, most men would not move states or countries for their girlfriends. When I've seen it happen, it's because the man had solid plans to marry her. The very few select couples I saw that had a man move state lines for a woman was because she was getting an advanced degree and the man proposed within 1 year of the move or right after she graduated. It should also be said all the men either had professional degrees or high paying careers like engineering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:37 AM
8

I can respect that. Truth be told, I am in that line. However, I think having an engagement with date and deposit set is more understandable than simply having an exclusive relationship. Like I said, I wouldn't do it though. In fact, if we're under a time crunch and couldn't have an engagement, but both agreed we want to marry each other...I'd simply go to the courthouse and get married without the engagement period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:32 AM
53

I'm saying! LOL He is straight up telling women "I ain't shit, and I might impregnate and leave."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:28 AM
5

I do think people give up on relationships and marriage far too easily. Way too easily. However, more women need to exercise leaving, especially prior to marriage before they feel stuck. Staying simply because "you should" while your mental and emotional health deteriorates is not worth it. No man, no amount of years together, no amount of kids together, etc is worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:20 AM
25

Yeah, I saw the title of this post with "EVER" and thought "Hold up!". "Ever" is absolute. I think an exception should be made for being married or engaged WITH A DATE SET AND DEPOSIT down. I'd also expand this to moving out of state. No woman should move out of state or to a state for a man unless they are married or engaged WITH A DATE AND DEPOSIT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:14 AM
4

There needs to be a moratorium on terms like "love bombing," "narcissistic/narc," "triggered," and "abuse" because they have very specific clinical meanings. ​ I mentioned in another reply...love bombing is cyclical and involves someone lifting you then withdrawing affection and putting you down with cruel, demeaning language (not simply a man misspeaking or making a joke that doesn't go over well). Love bombing involves manipulation, such as manipulating you to discard friends/family, ignoring …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:35 AM
40

Yep! Because for them, they don't feel like they are wasting their time. Also, sex, particularly convenient sex, is the main reason they stick around. They do not have to go back out there find a woman, flirt with her, act interested, etc then get sex. Too many hoops. It's much easier to keep having sex with the woman they have now while they keep a look out for Ms. Right. It's why women need to withhold sex until exclusive relationship is established and they know all the information they need …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:34 PM
15

MEN KNOW! They always know. What makes it difficult for women to believe it is that women are the ones who don't know early on if he is Mr. Right. Women often need more time to figure out if he is husband material or not. Also, the myths we hear about men needing time, being indecisive, needing X to happen before they marry, etc make us disbelieve the notion that men know early on if they want to marry you. Along with this, women buy too much into urban myth stories about couples (such as in the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:26 PM
14

"Love bombing" and "narc" are often misused and overused on the internet. And intense romantic gestures alone do not constitute love bombing. You have to take in other factors. The main intent between regular excessive affection early in a relationship vs love bombing is intent. Love bombing is motivated by manipulation. Also, love bombing really means that they offer excessive affection and in the next moment they cut you down. The 2nd factor of being cruel, mean towards the partner is required…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:21 PM
47

Love this! An idea: what about having a weekly post about what FDS followers plan to do over the weekend to be kind to themselves? ​ For me, it was FINALLY getting a particular wine that I've spent over a year searching for. Oh! One more kind thing I did for myself this week: I voted!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:24 PM
5

This is where I am with it. This is how I want it to be. I do want a ring, though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 05:11 AM
9

I didn't say marriage should be casual. People should discuss marriage, their views/expectations on it, timeline, etc prior to a proposal. I am simply talking about the proposal itself. Proposals should NEVER be a surprise, only the date/place of the proposal should be a surprised. I've known many couples who had a casual proposal. The "down on one knee in public" grand production is really a Hollywood creation. That's a topic for another conversation though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:21 AM
15

How creepy and bizarre! He took an innocuous hobby and used it to try embarrass you. Good for you for realizing he was trying to goad a certain reaction out of you and not falling for it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 12:27 AM
6

Do you mean hiding that you have money or come from a well to do family? The question is mighty vague. So, I am struggling to answer. If you're trying to hide economic status, then you would have to downplay your look and home. Although, I do not suggest that. In general, I am not in favor of discussing finances until one is engaged with a date set.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 12:24 AM
20

Gotcha. There's an above reply that had a good response, which basically said tell him you've had good, fulfilling relationships and that it ended because they were not the right one. I typically don't bring up past relationships. I am STAUNCHLY against cheating. It became a major deal breaker for me when I date a demon who unbeknownst to me had a girlfriend and got engaged to her while dating me. I have stopped telling men why I have strong feelings about cheating (aka this dating experience) b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 12:12 AM
4

If they ask what, exactly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 11:45 PM
5

Good point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 11:41 PM
19

I have DEFINITELY been guilty of this. I also think this extends to new friends. I think about Brene Brown and her work on shame and vulnerability. In that, she emphasizes that only a select FEW are privy to our shame and vulnerability and that this has been earned over time. Likewise, she has discussed how vulnerability without boundaries is oversharing. Far too many people ("friends", family, boyfriends, etc) use your openness as a way to find weak points to exploit and to judge you as less th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 11:19 PM
29

I have been there more times than I like to admit. I used to think "if it's not an issue for me anymore, then it should not be for them" and "I don't care if they try to use it against me. It will not damage me because I am over the situation." That was wrong because even though I may have moved on from the situation, having it used against me still hurts and feels like betrayal because it was ammunition I willingly gave for someone to betray my trust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 10:57 PM
4

Awww thanky!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 04:05 PM
12

As specific as possible. He should have a month or timeframe in mind like "we can get married sometime between May and July/by the end of spring/in 6 months." Him saying "when you get your vacation approved" or other vague statements is not good enough. You need to get him to be specific. If he says, "we can get married in 6 months" then you follow-up with "that's wonderful, baby! I've always wanted to get married in March!" aka you put a specific month or date to his suggested range of time. Sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 04:04 PM
2

whoa! not my story at all. i think you missed the point I was trying to make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:57 AM
11

I think it's better to be supportive than to lose out on a good friendship because you don't like or agree with their life choices. Either you want to be right or keep the friendship. Many times we cannot have both. I am strongly anti-cohabitation before engagement (engagement does not simply mean proposal, but a date has been set). However, I have friends who do it. I do not voice my opinion unless asked, and if even asked, I don't reveal my true opinion. I tell them that I would not do it, but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:53 AM
21

It's more about more than "choice." What memes and the philosophy often leave out is the emotional, psychological, and social consequences of these behaviors. Because patriarchy and sexism are real, women suffer far more harsher and long-term consequences from all of this. Ignoring it makes someone naïve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:49 AM
55

I often hear it from women in academia. And guess what? Most women in academia come from privileged backgrounds, had children in wedlock, make a comfortable salary, have a loving group of friends and family, etc. When I was in undergrad, a professor had lunch with me and a few other students one day because we were working on a special project. It was all female students. In this conversation, she discussed the importance on focusing on your career and personal life. She went on to say that she …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:39 AM
79

ALL OF THIS!^^^ Men are not only encouraged to, but also expected to shoot out of their league while women should take any "nice guy" regardless of his looks. When I tell male friends that looks and attractiveness are very important to me, they say "you're like a man!" No, I am like a human. Attractiveness matters for everyone and even non-human animals. The expectation that women should not prioritize attractiveness is silly and pushed for the benefit of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:28 AM
120

I used to believe this philosphy, although I never put it into action. I did think it was okay to be a "hoe" or "slut" and that "every woman is considered a slut by some man." While true, that does not mean you should be indiscriminate about who you share your body with. Back when I was on twitter, there was a hashtag called "liberal thinking, conservative living" that hit the nail on the head. It meant that people promoting these ultra liberal values and beliefs do not often live by them. They …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 01:12 AM
14

I want marriage and agree with you. Women who say "we're basically/essentially married" know what they're saying is a farce. There is no such thing as pseudo marriage. Either you are married or you're not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 11:01 PM
23

If they break up, I bet he'll be married in 1 year or less. Men know the importance of marriage. That is why they're willing to do everything, but get married. Have kids. Live together. Buy property together. Go into business together. share finances. They know marriage is the largest commitment and requires the most investment and sacrifice. Somehow they have convinced a lot of women that it is "just a piece of paper" or "we're practically married anyway" when the man knows they are not because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 10:58 PM
70

My parents told me when a man proposes to me that I should I immediately ask about a date and that he should have a date in mind. They said if a man has no approximate date in mind then he is not serious about marrying me. Life experiences have shown me that this is true. Men who propose and want marriage always have a date in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 09:27 PM
1

I agree with all of this. Also, if he does come back, tell him EXACTLY what you want and when. Meaning if you want an exclusive relationship immediately or he gets no sex, time, emotional energy, etc., then state that. Whatever it is you want you need to say it and show it. If he slips 1 time, then cut him loose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 06:32 PM
17

I think "pretending" is part of the process. At first, you won't believe what you're telling yourself, but the more you repeat it, the more you will believe it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 06:21 PM
81

Every person should read the Gift of Fear, especially women. It really reinforced my need to trust my intuition I love that the author calls it "knowing without knowing." When I was younger, I was much better at. As I got older, I unknowingly ignored it, and began to believe I had poor judgement. When in fact, it was me NOT LISTENING to my intuition that led to negative experiences, such as a sexual assault. I thought because I could not put my finger on why I had the gut reaction that I was ove…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 08:44 PM
3

I read it. He is definitely a loser and doesn't know it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:47 PM
14

Somehow it is okay for a man to change his mind about a relationship, but women cannot change their minds about sexual activities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:39 PM
8

Women have to STOP thinking that they should not judge or be judgemental about people in general. It is naive, silly, and will set you up for being exploited and abused. Judging people is GOOD. Discernment is GOOD. We really need to encourage women to judge men for the totality of their actions rather than always being understanding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:31 PM
58

I don't know if it came from liberal feminism. I consider myself a feminist, but I don't have good working knowledge about different branches of feminism. I do know feminism sold us a bill of goods in some ways about handling dating. I think women were conned into believing that you should live with someone prior to marriage/being engaged with a date set, that casual sex is empowering, and marriage is "just a piece a paper." Those ideas truly only benefit men. Some things considered "empowering"…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 12:06 PM
4

Because marriage and living together/exclusive relationship is NOT the same thing. The sacrifice, commitment, seriousness, investment, and consequences are very different when married. Men know this and this is why they prefer to live together/stay unmarried. Men know, in the back of their mind, that as long as the relationship remains unmarried, then they can always have an easy exit. They can continue to have one foot in, one foot out. This is regardless of how many years they have been in the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:49 AM
39

Yep! I did something similar --- grabbed a stock image pic of a side profile of a woman's face from Google. I had only one pic showing her side profile and a pic of a random beach. hahaha I would tell men that I'm open to having fun and if a relationship developed, I was fine and if not, I was cool too. I really thought no man would buy this because the pic is literally one of the first search results in Google images. ​ Do you know men engaged in full conversations? They were telling me about t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 01:42 AM
1

Let me pick your brain, if you allow. Men in this age range that you know, what do you notice about them (feel free to message me if it is easier)? I ask because I think you'd be more objective since you're married. Like you, I am beginning to think divorced/widow man may be more likely to be marriage minded since they have a history of being able to commit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:36 AM
8

He wants to leech off a woman. I am surprised someone even wrote that in their bio and even more surprised the comments were positive. Maybe this is one of those "online vs irl" situations cause I cannot think of any woman I know who would be cool with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:34 PM
6

Thank you for this comment. I do struggle with self-esteem and confidence, hence the username. lol So sometimes I have to check myself to see if it an instance of my confidence getting in the way or something else. I'm going to keep what you said in mind. In a meeting at work one day, one colleague said "why not me?" in regards to a work opportunity. It was actually surprising to me cause I hardly ever think about myself in that way. So, I try to keep that question in my brain when I have moment…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 12:25 PM
7

He sounds terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:38 PM
3

You're absolutely correct. She is doing wife duties hoping to get that ring. I don't see how any woman would feel secure with that dynamic. He has no intention of ever giving it to her unless something catastrophic happens like he gets sick. Outside of that, they will have the same status 10 years from now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:28 PM
11

The idea of simply "doing what makes you happy" in and outside the context of relationships is dumb. It would make me happy to quit my job and live in Paris. Is it smart? No. Is it practical? No. Mainly doing or not doing things because "it makes you/me happy" is a good way to live a directionless, ultimately unhappy, life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:22 PM
16

Are you me? hahaha I feel like I typed that reply. Everything we do in life from going to college, buying a house, trying to lose/gain weight, buying a car, etc all have a plan attached to it. Yet, we are supposed to "go with the flow" when it comes to relationships and marriage. I was dumb enough to believe this until I got really hurt. Being in a relationship without a plan leads to all that you said and being a forever gf/fiance. That's why it's important to state up front what you want, be c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:19 PM
15

This is a really heartbreaking read. I feel for her. Also, your mom is right. My parents have said something similar before when I presented them with a situation I knew of where the couple was together for YEARS and I would try to give the woman the benefit of the doubt in thinking "maybe she is the one who doesn't want marriage." When I said this to them, they both said "I bet if he asked her to marry, she would say yes," echoing what your mom said. After that, I never gave the woman the benef…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:15 PM
3

:)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:54 AM
103

She's right. There is no formula. Each relationship is different. However, after a certain age, the longer a relationship goes on for, the less likely he will commit. I only know one married couple who slept together on the first night. Every other instance of this, those people are not together and some never dated at all. It may sound sexist, illogical, and unfair, but sex too quickly does reduce our value and can leave emotional scars. Don't base your life on exceptions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 07:51 AM
9

For me, I have come to (recently) realize that serious and committed/commitment only applies to marriage. There is no such thing as a "serious relationship" or "committed relationship" outside of marriage. Everything else is either an exclusive or non-exclusive relationship. Marriage involves a far higher level of sacrifice, investment, commitment, and consequences than an exclusive relationship. The attitudes a married couple has is far different than the one an exclusive couple has.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 07:45 AM
7

I had a former "friend" that became poly. I knew her for over 10 years. As long as I've known her, she was down for any form of casual sex with men. In the last year of our friendship, she disclosed having a "boyfriend" who was married. She said she initially met him through mutual friends at a party. At this party, she had a threesome with him and his wife. She never before expressed interest in women. Then 1-2 years later entered into a "relationship" with him. It was so odd because she always…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 07:32 AM
20

he sounds like a selfish, jerk. i don't normally say this, but this girl needs to dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 06:56 AM
11

I do not consider it a committed relationship either. It is an exclusive relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:55 AM
16

Precisely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:58 AM
25

Yes, you are single. "Steps" and "moving towards" marriage is not marriage. Until there is a ring on your finger and marriage license, you are single. You can be in an exclusive relationship, but you are still single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:58 AM
2

You said it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:56 AM
12

for me, "serious relationship" and "commitment/committed relationship" ONLY applies to marriage, regardless if you live together, share bank accounts, have kids together, etc. You can be in an exclusive relationship and not be married. At the same time, you are still single and in a non-serious/committed relationship. I prefer the term "exclusive relationship" rather than single because to me single is black and white --- either you are married or you are single. There is no in between. Single m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:56 AM
10

hahahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:48 PM
-5

ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 09:14 PM
9

I"m 37. Your timeline makes sense to me. Yep, men know! I have 3 men say "I met my wife" or "I want to marry you" shortly after meeting me. I always dismissed it as "men say whatever to try to get sex" or "men need new pickup lines." I wish I knew then what I know now because I would have leaned more into it, especially for 1 man who said it to me. Live and learn, I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 09:11 PM
18

When I was your age, I had the same fear. I used to think 1 year was no where long enough to know. And I think for women, we need far more time to vet to know whereas men do not need much time at all. Mostly, because they have a clear idea of what their wife will be like. Therefore, when they come across her, they know almost immediately. One thing I realized way too late in life and I don't want you to make the mistake so many women I know have....men KNOW very quickly if they want to marry you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 08:01 PM
6

Thanks for explaining.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:42 PM
13

what is noncommittal living together? i don't understand that phrase. mostly because to me "serious relationship" and "committed/commitment" only applies to marriage. Anything else is non-committal to me. It may be exclusive, but it is not commitment. I am also anti-cohabitation prior to marriage. So, "noncommittal living together" is extremely confusing to me. Can you explain it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:32 PM
5

how old are you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:18 PM
25

Why is his name blurred out when he was bold enough to post it publicly under his name? People should know who this idiot is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:59 PM
10

"Would you like drama in your life and to feel regretful 6 months later? Then swipe right on me!" that is profile bio.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:54 PM
25

what in the crazy?!?! I was "NO!" from the subject line. It only got worse and worse as I kept reading it. She needs to leave him before it gets worse, which it will. This is another reason why I cannot go for rough sex. Anytime I've heard about women engaging in rough sex, it just seems to get "rougher" (and degrading) over time. I am prudish though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:50 PM
8

Damn straight!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:24 AM
2

I'm sorta in this line too. I will sleep over maximum of 3x a week. I prefer 1-2x...3 is a big stretch for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 09:24 PM
4

All of this is why it's a "no for me dawg." I'm sorry he ruined the vacation. That sucks so much when you are disappointed on a couples trip. You mentioned what I was getting at. I am not using up more than a large portion of my vacation days or taking unpaid days to go on trips with a man I am not married or engaged to. I consider long vacations as "wifely duties" because it requires a lot of time, money, space, emotional investment, etc for them. Also, it's simulated living together, which I d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 09:22 PM
8

Exactly. Commitment involves investment. If you want to run a marathon, the more work you put into training, the more committed you become and want to hit finish the marathon. Same for relationships. Men want to WORK for it, and by "work for it," that means investing aka doing ish for you. Not you doing wife type things for them unless you want forever girlfriend status. ​ It may not be fair or make sense or the way things "should be," but it is reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 09:18 PM
7

You don't need to do spontaneous visits either. I don't do that and would dump a man if he was doing that with me. Discernment is key. Watching their behavior when you come over. Listen to how they talk your place and other people's homes. It's really not that difficult to figure out. No need for simulations and surprise visits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 09:15 PM
26

Because for me long vacations are special. It requires more sacrifice (money, space, time) than I'm willing and to make than a gf should. I want to do that with someone who i am set to marry. Not to mention I don't want memories of a vacation spot to be ruined cause a dating relationship ended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:29 PM
13

There's ways to vet a man without doing that. You Don't need to do those things to really get to know a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:27 PM
41

I thought not having kids until marriage would automatically assumed, but of course! No way am I having children with a man who is not my husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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