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View 2 posts and 91 comments by chicken_po_boy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
55

chicken_po_boy/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:43 AM
5

chicken_po_boy/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 05:56 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

What is your annual (gross) salary? His (gross) annual salary? Do you have 50/50 placement of the 2 kids or some other arrangement? Are you responsible for any other costs, such as healthcare, college funds, etc? It’s difficult to assess if your situation is fair or not, without such details.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 02:57 AM
1

You don’t think 28% of a guy’s gross income is a lot? What are you nutz?
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 07:52 PM
3

What state? What is her income? $1740/mo seems insane even if she makes $0
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 05:09 PM
8

Wow. You are getting screwed imo. That’s 26k annually in C/S which I assume is after tax. Idk what your marginal tax rate is, I’ll assume 15%. So figure 26k/.85 = 30.6k before tax. So you have 110k - 30.6k = 79.4k. And she gets 60k + 30.6 = 90.6k pre-tax. She is better off than you AND you have to pay the 4.9k insurance all by yourself. Sucks man, I’m sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 05:48 PM
2

How many kids?
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 06:24 PM
2

Lol Evil Woman is the ringtone for my ex
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 08:43 PM
9

My ex was all for counseling… until the counselor realized many of our problems were the result of her out of control spending. The counselor suggested putting her on a monthly spending budget. All of a sudden she didn’t want to do counseling anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 04:30 AM
5

Her family is part of her support network, not yours. So it's not really appropriate to make sure they know 'your side' of the story. That will only cause conflict with your STBEX. Even tho she will be your EX... she still has the power to make your life difficult because you are raising kids together. Don't underestimate this. So it's best not to try and undermine her standing with her family just to get your side of the story told. Everyone knows there are 2 sides to a story, even if they don'…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 08:59 PM
3

That’s insane. It’s terrible to hear stories like yours.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 01:57 AM
1

What state? How many kids?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 06:39 PM
1

Do you pay C/S? How much?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 12:36 AM
3

This seems quite reasonable compared to most other comments here
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 09:09 PM
2

That’s only a 30k income difference. And you are paying 18k (after tax) to her annually with 50/50, AND you pay all health insurance?? That’s nutz.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 04:19 PM
5

Sorry man. That’s not fair at all. Another reason I will never move to Texas.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 08:40 AM
5

If you have 50/50 and she makes more, why do you have to pay 1300? Shouldn’t she be paying you? I don’t understand TX laws, seems totally unfair.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 08:01 AM
6

You have 50/50… she makes 50% more than you… and you pay her $700/month??? That’s fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 07:57 AM
2

Does she have full custody (or placement)?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 06:25 AM
5

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 06:23 AM
25

- Wisconsin - 2 kids - Me: $191k, her: $99k - I pay healthcare premiums 100%, but we split unreimbursed healthcare expenses 50/50. We split all clothes and discretionary expenses 50/50. - $1006 per month
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:46 AM
4

This 100%. Don't let her get under your skin. And if she does get under your skin, don't let her know it by skipping the party.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:27 AM
2

You didn't say how many kiddos. IDK if there is a formula in TX but if there is, you should see what it says. For perspective... if you lived in WI, and you made 200k and she made 45k, with 50/50 placement... you would pay $1903 per month for 2 kids. Or $1304 per month for 1 kid.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:22 AM
16

1) We split assets 53/47 for me/her. Even tho we live in a community property state, she agreed it was fair because I came into the marriage with more. 2) We kept things amicable. I stressed to her over and over again that I felt there was no reason to involve lawyers, because they would only suck us both dry. And as long as we treat each other fairly, and are open and honest about the finances, we could arrive at an agreement that would be fair. And we would both save a lot of money. She eventu…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 06:34 PM
2

Ex and I had an amicable split. 16 year marriage and 2 kids. We have 50/50 placement of the 2 kids. We split assets 53/47 (me/her). I pay C/S per state formula but no alimony even though I make almost 2x what she makes. She got the house, I got more of the retirement savings. I pay the kids' college funds and their health insurance. We both got what we wanted. We get along better now than we did when we were married, and the kids are better off because mom and dad are cooperative. The whole divo…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 10:55 PM
5

Things seem bad now but they WILL get better. In time you will see things more clearly. If she's not in love with you, then she's not the one for you. It's hard to see that now, I know. Be strong for yourself. For your kid. He or she needs you. Never stop telling that to yourself. Do you have friends or family you can talk to? Divorce is hard, but having someone (in real life) that you can talk to can really help a lot. Maybe look for a men's divorce support group in your area? You will find a l…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:50 AM
12

Are you sure it was you that drove her away? Some (maybe most) women are conditioned to never be satisfied no matter how much their man gives. It might not have mattered how much you would have changed. This is the difference between men and women. Men marry a woman as she is. Women marry a man thinking they can change him into who they want him to be. Even when he makes improvements it’s not enough; the goal posts keep getting moved. Not sure what you did (or didn’t do) that makes you think it …
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 09:53 PM
14

IANAL, but if she doesn’t fulfill her obligations to refinance in her name only, I think a judge could order her to sell.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 05:31 AM
1

Just say: “We are getting divorced because your mom fell in love with someone else. I cannot stay married to someone who is in love with someone else. Your mom and I still love you kids the same and we always will. That is is much as I can tell you about why it has come to this.”
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 06:53 PM
2

I’m bi so I have more choices than most of you straight guys, lol. Next time I would not marry a woman, I would marry a guy. I’m dating a guy and I am finding it is a big relief, there are several advantages: Neither one of us spends money frivolously. We are not cheap but spend money intentionally. There are no preconditions for sex (e.g. housework, laundry). We are both active and help keep each other fit, running, cycling, go to the gym together etc He does not expect me to read his mind. Whe…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 01:28 AM
7

I gotta say, I'm a divorced guy and I gotta agree with her. You should share the cost and not quibble over it. A lot of people unfortunately have a long commute. It's kind of unreasonable to say she has to pay the childcare costs by herself because she 'chose' some job with a long commute. Most people don't choose a long commute on purpose; they do so because it works for other reasons. You should be happy things are amicable. Be happy your ex has a job and isn't mooching off you for alimony. It…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 03:44 AM
1

A house fire in 2016 near where I live claimed the lives of three of a couple’s four children. The deceased were ages 11, 10, and 7. The 9yo escaped. The 11yo died trying to save the younger siblings. The parents were attending a church meeting at the time of the fire. It was terribly tragic.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 03:14 PM
6

This is a tough time, but you will get through it and adjust. Learn to appreciate the good things about being divorced. You have some new freedoms. You can can spend more time with friends. You can spend more time at the gym exercising. You can eat what you want. You are in your own space now, you can decorate it how you like. Make some changes. You can eat what you like. Use the time when the kids are with her to plan fun activities with the kids next time they are with dad. It will give you so…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 03:52 AM
7

If you move out you will be at a disadvantage for everything... time with your daughter (including what gets said to her), asset division, etc. And as soon as you move out she will probably lawyer up and ask the court for some of your income to keep her household going. The best thing you can do for yourself is stay living together until things are final. Especially if you are going to try and foster an amicable split. If you are present in the house with her, you can attempt to set the tone for…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 03:16 AM
4

It sounds like divorce may be inevitable. Use caution in the conversations you have with her. Avoid raising your voice and keep calm and use gentle words. Explore the idea of an amicable divorce. It can be done amicably if you can trust each other to treat each other fairly and keep cool heads. My ex and I were married 16 years with 2 kids and we were able to do a pro se divorce and remain friendly to each other. It was a very difficult process but we both (and the kids) are in a much better pla…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 02:15 AM
34

Your comments about being the breadwinner, providing, cooking, cleaning, finances, bills, taxes resonated with me. I was doing all this stuff too during my marriage including yard work and car maintenance. I was killing myself to make more money and simultaneously hold the line on the budget while she was out blowing our money freely on whatever she wanted. I had no time for myself, no time for exercise or friends. I was angry and unhappy. The only thing she did ‘for me’ was laundry, which she c…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 07:55 AM
13

Nearly the same identical thing happened with me and my ex when we were married. We had a 1yo and a 3yo at the time. The night before we were flying to Scotland to visit her extended family, she discovered her passport had expired. She thought it was funny until she learned she would not be able to fly. She thought the airline people would hear her sob story and give her a break. The airline said they would absolutely not let her fly without a valid passport. What could we do? We changed her tic…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 07:08 AM
0

Step 1: Fight for 50/50 custody of the embryo. Step 2: When it's your time with the embryo, beat your EX to the punch and implant in whoever you want
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 01:42 AM
2

I hear ya man. I’m 52 and have 36 more months of C/S left. It’s tough, but it won’t be forever. I understand the pressure you feel to stay employed because I feel it too. Although I would probably feel MORE much pressure to keep my job if I was still married, to support the kids as well as my EX’s spending habits. No question my retirement got pushed back a few years bc of the divorce. But it was worth the sacrifice, I’m much happier now. Not looking forward to having an empty nest in a few year…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 12:29 AM
1

Knowing what you know now… if you were single would you still get married to her today? That’s your answer. Some of the stuff you described is pretty typical marriage complaints - housework, unfolded clothes, whether to have active vacations or lie on the beach, etc. That kind of stuff can usually be addressed with good communication and compromise. The lack of a physical relationship is a real problem though because without sex and intimacy… you might as well just be friends.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 03:11 AM
1

I guess it depends on the situation and various factors like the kids’ ages, the amount of time the SO and kids are together, and the kids’ parenting needs. It sounds like you are remarried and your wife is your child’s actual stepmother, so I’ll guess she is around your child perhaps often. The OP has a GF who has not yet met his kids. I have a (serious) BF, and although he cares about my (high school age) kids and gets along with them great… he only sees them about once per month. He has more …
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 02:48 AM
1

It's your life and you are free to move on and date someone else (isn't that the entire point of divorce?) That means your new GF is going to be part of your life and it's not realistic for your EX to think you can never introduce her to the kids. And we're talking about someone you have been seeing for 18 months, it's not as if you just met her. Explain to your EX that at some point (when it seems appropriate for the KIDS) you will make introductions in an gentle and caring manner. And as someo…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 10:32 PM
40

End the marriage if you need to, but don’t abandon your kid man. That’s just how teenagers are, they engage with their friends and their phones, they don’t want to engage with their parents. He will come around when he gets older. If you leave him now you will both lose. He needs you even if it doesn’t seem like it. Do stuff for you that makes you happy but don’t give up on your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 12:13 PM
1

I moved from a 2100 sqft 4BR home to a 1500 sqft 3BR apartment. I Love it here. Less to clean, no clutter, no property taxes, no repairs, no lawn maintenance, no snow shoveling, no pets, no roommates. Just me. And my kids every other week. It’s my space. On my off week I am free to travel on a moment’s notice. I have a job that allows me to work remotely. Rent is $1250 in a LCOL area. Only thing that sucks is no garage.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 10:24 PM
2

Please include a (coherent) tldr;
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 04:02 PM
12

You should file in WI then before she files in IL. The courts in WI will presume 50/50 but if both parties agree to something different the courts will generally accept it. I got divorced in WI. My ex and I agreed to a 53% (me) and 47% (her) split and the court didn't bat an eye.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 03:14 AM
2

Buying him out of the house: he deserves 50% of marital assets. So refinance the house and give him his half, or something else of equal value. Paying him alimony: depending on the laws where you live and the length of your marriage, yes you might have to pay. You make 120k, he makes 75k. If he gets a higher salary down the road you might be able to get it adjusted. Child support: as the higher earner you should pay C/S (assuming 50/50 placement). Don't try to deny him his 50% just to lower your…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 03:20 PM
2

I calmly communicated to my STBXW (over and over and over...): 1) Lawyers were very expensive, it will always cost way more than what they tell you in the beginning (because they want your business) 2) If she and I could come to agreement on things without involving lawyers we could both save a lot of money 3) After the divorce we are both going to need money because we will each be responsible for our own households 4) The money we save from not hiring lawyers is money that could benefit our ki…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 03:07 AM
7

“Already Gone” by the Eagles
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 11:44 PM
1

It seems the standard advice here is to get a lawyer, but if you and your spouse agree to end things amicably then you can both save a whole lot of money doing it yourself. My ex and I agreed to 'try' to come to agreement without lawyers and eventually we did just that. I was numbers person and she was not. It took a lot of explaining and openness to make her see we had a fair deal. All her friends were telling her to get a lawyer and take me to the cleaners. Ultimately she took the deal we work…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 01:54 AM
7

I wouldn't tell the neighborhood in advance, that seems awkward. If someone asks the day of the move "oh, are you moving?" just say "no, but she is!" and give a good laugh.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 01:37 AM
5

So she agreed to 50/50 but now she’s going to play dirty. Guarantee it’s because she doesn’t want to pay C/S. She’s gonna make an argument that you work too much to take care of the kids. If I were you, I would be ready with a response: you have already arranged for a hired hand to work 15 hours a week to do chores on the farm when you have the kids, allowing you time to spend time parenting. Have a name (and written contract) you can produce to the court on the spot when her lawyer makes his mo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 07:02 PM
6

You aren’t going to destroy anything. She must’ve misplaced it. And since she never mentioned the folder to you, you have no idea what she is talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 06:50 PM
6

What a shame it would be (for her) if she was to lose that folder.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 05:21 PM
2

If you would like to try and maintain a friendly relationship with her, then yes you should get her a gift. Something from the kids if you have any. Something non-sentimental from you. Maybe something she can use post-divorce. I bought my ex a nice set of tools (screwdrivers, sockets, wrenches, etc) and she was very appreciative.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 04:52 PM
4

I have an amicable relationship with my ex and I don’t mind doing small favors here and there, especially when it allows me to see the kids when it’s her week. Although I am no longer chained to my ex, she does still have some power to make my life difficult if she wants. Last thing I need is for her to contest the child support, say bad things about me to the kids or our friends, etc. My advice is keep things friendly as possible. You might even need some assistance from her at some point (e.g.…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 03:43 AM
69

Positive divorce experience here. My ex and I were married for 16 years, 2 kids. We've been divorced for 3 years. EVERYTHING about my life is better now: - No matter how much I gave in the marriage, it was never enough. I no longer need to try to live up to her impossible standards - I enjoy coming home now. Home is MY space, it is relaxing, there is no tension. No more walking on eggshells - I see my kids only 50% of the time, but time with them is more special. I look forward to my time with t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 03:25 PM
1

They haven’t done anything wrong. This is your issue to deal with. Get some AirPods, listen to music, tune them out, focus on your own workout. Go to the gym at a different time of day if needed. If you are concerned you may get violent and hurt someone you should seek out some help for mental health. The last thing you need on top of a stressful divorce is some assault and battery charges.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 03:55 AM
17

You are considering staying in a dead marriage so you don't have to sell a house... a piece of property. Think about that for a minute. You're considering spending your remaining time on this planet with someone who doesn't even want to be around you. Think about that for a minute. If you stay you will be modeling a poor example of a marriage for your kids. Thank about that for a minute. Coparenting post-divorce is certainly possible. My ex and I get along great. But cohabitating? What's the poi…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 06:26 AM
1

You said “She is also letting me have full custody of my kids except she wants to see them whenever” and “she will be just going back home (another country)”. If your kids have passports you should immediately hide them from your STBXW, as a precaution.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 08:59 PM
15

In a gay divorce, how does the court know which guy to screw over?
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 03:56 AM
1

Our divorce agreement specifies that the 529’s will be used only for our children’s college educations. In the event that a kid chooses not to go to college, we can mutually agree to transfer the money to the other kid. If there is not a mutual agreement to do that, then that child’s 529 will be liquidated and the money will be split 50/50 between me and my ex, on an after tax basis. My ex is protected against me pilfering the 529’s to spend on hookers and blow. She would easily have grounds to …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 09:17 PM
1

Wisconsin
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 09:10 PM
1

In the case of my divorce, my ex and I split assets excluding the 529’s. I control them but their value didn’t count towards my 50%.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 06:13 PM
1

I did exactly this. In lieu of alimony I agreed to fully fund my kids’ 529 college savings accounts thru their junior year in college, and also pay for their health insurance until age 26 or they are employed and can obtain their own. The terms are spelled out in our divorce agreement. I was satisfied knowing that my money was going to the kids instead of my ex. She was satisfied because it took the pressure off her to save for their college (she was never very disciplined to save anyway). It wa…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 06:09 PM
5

I switched teams. All problems solved.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 09:11 PM
13

We had an another argument because of her excessive spending. This time it was because she had recurring monthly charges on her credit card. She didn’t know what they were for and didn’t care to do anything about them. She was content to piss away our future. She was berating me, talking to me like I was worthless dirt. Saying cruel and cutting things to me, the kind of marriage-ending comments you couldn’t ever take back. We were in the kitchen. I calmly went and filled a glass of water at the …
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 02:51 PM
1

Things I enjoy: - Time with my kids is more special since I only see them every other week - My off week from the kids is filled with things I used to get in trouble for doing: hitting the gym, hobbies, connecting with family, or spending time with friends - My kids are old enough to see that I am stable, dependable, and involved with their lives - I have MORE money now because every dime isn't being spent by someone else - My apartment is clean and not cluttered with by candles, knick nacks, an…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 02:58 AM
2

As others have suggested, do NOT do what you are suggesting. You should look into a cash-out refi. FYI... My kids were 12 and 13 when my ex and I split up. My ex and I had an amicable divorce. DM me if you want tips on how to keep the divorce amicable, and low-cost.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 10:24 PM
3

Sure, $24k sounds like a lot but it’s only 12% of his gross income so yeah it would be interesting to see the math behind why it’s making him live paycheck to paycheck. But the OP never said how many kids, or whether this amount included SS as well. Idk the laws in MA, but here in WI his CS payment based on 2 kids and incomes of $100k/$200k would be $1094 per month.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/22 03:22 AM
17

Wives don't move away on their own and consider it 'validation' for their husbands to come along. It sounds like she's pretty sure she wants to move on, or just wants her freedom, and/or she just wants to keep you attached in case she changes her mind. Or maybe she's trying to let you down slowly. Either way it's not fair to you. And it's not right that she gets to decide the terms of this new way forward (case in point, why does she get to keep your dog?). Divorce would be better than being in …
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 09:32 PM
2

Call it what you like. I’m not the type to cry in my beer over others’ good fortune.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 08:03 PM
2

You’re not afraid of being divorced. You’re only afraid of getting divorced. Life is better on this side. You’re 54. How do you want to spend remaining time on the planet? If she’s unhappy as well, you might be able to part ways amicably.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 06:55 PM
5

A promotion or raise (either on your end or hers) changes income and therefore C/S. Sorry but a gift from a family member is just that, a gift to her and you should not expect to benefit from it. It’s not income to her no matter how you want to spin it. When my ex and I split up, we constructed our divorce agreement to split marital assets equally. We set C/S according to the state formula. We created budgets (including tax effects) using the same housing allowance and calculated disposable inco…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 06:40 PM
7

It’s his responsibility (as the higher income earner) to support his kids via C/S based on income disparity between him and his EX. These are his obligations not his ex-MIL’s. The ex’s family is giving this gift to his EX, not to him. Imagine if the situation was reversed and (post-divorce) SHE came after HIM for MORE C/S because his wealthy parents paid off his house or otherwise gave him some massive gift. Every guy on this sub would say she’s unfair/entitled/out of her fucking mind (and I wou…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 06:19 PM
6

Is the $2k/mo C/S alone or does it include S/S? I’m not saying you aren’t getting screwed or that you don’t have a right to complain about how much you have to pay in C/S. You’ll find a lot of sympathy from myself and others here about that. But don’t complain because you feel it’s unfair she’s getting some massive gift from her family. This sense of entitlement is EXACTLY what men on this sub complain about their STBX’s and EX’s all the time. Rise above it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 05:42 PM
9

You make $200k and she makes $100k. Even with 50/50 custody you’re most likely gonna pay C/S. I’m in the same boat, 2 kids, also with about $100k difference in income. IDK what the laws are in MA but here in WI the formula comes out to be around $900/mo for me. But your post wasn’t about C/S. It was about how you feel entitled to benefit from you STBX’s generous parents. Hint: you don’t. Divorce has its pros and cons, this is one of the cons. Let it go.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 05:21 PM
13

Why should the fact that she’s receiving a post-divorce gift from her mother affect your C/S obligations? The gift of the house is something between her and her mother. C/S is based on income differences, and is something between you and her. If you were to receive a windfall of a large gift (not income) post-divorce would you feel obligated to share it with her?
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 05:06 PM
1

It's a 3BR apartment, newly remodeled, 1500 SQFT, $1250/month. It would have been a stretch for me to buy a house right away. I could afford a down payment now tho, but I'm not ready to buy a house yet because I think I will want to live somewhere else once my kids go to college. The $850 isn't a cap, it's just what the state formula comes out to considering my/her incomes and 50/50 placement. I'm in WI.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 10:08 PM
6

My ex and I had an amicable pro se divorce. I make $185k and my she makes $95k, low COL area. I pay $850/mo in CS (2 kids, 50/50 placement) and no SS. I got 53% of the assets when we split, she got 47%. I pay the kids’ health insurance premiums and fund their 529’s. She got to pick which assets she wanted for her 47% (including the house). It was what we both agreed was fair. 2.5 years after my divorce, I have $100k in cash. I am able to meet all my financial obligations, fully fund my HSA, 401k…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 05:47 AM
1

Spousal support is not a guarantee in Wisconsin. It depends on several factors: length of the marriage, income differential, whether one spouse made sacrifices to benefit the other spouses career, etc. You can look up the list of considerations in Wisconsin divorce law. My divorce was final in 2020, also in Wisconsin. 16 years married, 2 kids. At the time, my income was $66k higher than hers. The CS payment was calculated at $820/month. We did a pro se divorce and did not use a mediator. I reall…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 04:26 AM
6

Do not move out if at all possible. I stayed living in the home after I told my ex I wanted a divorce. We have two children. Staying in the home was the single most important thing I did during the divorce. I was able to set a cooperative tone for the process, and diffuse moments of potential escalation. It also meant that I didn’t have to worry what she might be saying to the kids. Every time her friends would try to whip her into a frenzy, I was there to respond with calmness and empathy. I wo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/22 03:28 PM
2

The minimum waiting time to get a divorce in Wisconsin is 120 days. My divorce was much quicker than most.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 07:30 PM
6

I don't understand. If placement is 50/50, and she makes $40k more than you, and you're paying the kids health insurance... why exactly are YOU paying HER child support?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 05:45 AM
2

My ex and I had a successful DIY divorce (married 16 years, 2 kids, we live in a somewhat rural area in Wisconsin). We first agreed on 50/50 placement of the kids, the amount of child support, and the terms of our parenting plan. Next we listed all assets and liabilities and reached agreement on valuations (including her pension). Then we agreed on how to split assets (53% for me, 47% for her) to recognize that I entered the marriage with more. We then created budgets that reflected our respecti…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 05:06 AM
7

I'm happy for you! Congratulations. It's a relief to control your own destiny and make forward progress. You're through the worst of it. Now is the time to invest in yourself. Focus on your physical and mental health... getting good sleep... improving your finances... strengthen family relationships... and fun times with friends. Look forward, not backwards and remain positive. It's better on this side.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 04:43 AM
3

It sounds like your ex is bent out of shape because she's paying the health care premiums for the kids and is also expected to pay half of the deductible expenses. She may have a point, it depends on what your temp order says. It may specify who should pay the healthcare premiums for the kids, and whether or not this is taken into account in the child support. If it doesn't specify, then it's reasonable to expect each parent to pay half. (You can figure the cost of the kids' healthcare premiums …
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 06:58 AM
1

Ask Alexa to play "Time for Me to Fly" by REO Speedwagon a couple hundred times and then decide what to do. Oh, and listen to what literally every guy in this thread is telling you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 05:21 AM
1

Before you move to divorce... suggest to her that you both start seeing a marriage counselor. It's usually the wife that suggests counseling, as a last-ditch effort to save the marriage. If you suggest it, it could be the wake-up call she needs. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 03:52 AM
9

My kids were 11 and 13 when my ex and I decided to split. We have 50/50 placement. In my experience... Bad things about getting divorced: 1) I don't get to see my kids 100% of the time. 2) Financial obligations (e.g. child support) Good things about getting divorced: 1) Time with the kids is more special and fun 2) Social life has improved substantially 3) My sex life is amazing 4) I have freedom to live my life how I want 5) I have more money now (yes, more) because I don't have someone spendin…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 04:11 AM
1

In my case, I didn’t want the house but she did. So she took the equity we built up in the home, and I took an equal amount of other assets (cash, plus more of the retirement savings). Two years later, I still don’t have a house but my retirement assets have done really well. I love my apartment and the freedom that comes with it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 03:43 AM
1

I had an amicable divorce. My ex and I were married 16 years. We have 2 kids. I am the one who wanted out. The first month was hard for both of us. But it was especially hard for her because she didn’t see it coming. In this critical time, I continued to live in the house so I could set the tone for the divorce. I tried to remain calm and not engage with her when she wanted to argue or find fault. I kept saying that even though we were no longer going to remain married, it was important that we …
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:23 AM
2

I live in a community property state as well, and likewise had no prenup. My ex and I had an amicable divorce. We were married 16 years, with 2 kids. We both wanted a good relationship for the sake of the kids. I asked her if she would be willing to let me keep the assets I entered the marriage with (and she could keep hers). She didn’t have to agree to this but I appealed to her sense of fairness. The rest of the assets we accumulated during the marriage we split 50/50. In return for her being …
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 06:37 AM
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