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chile-pica Archive

View 0 posts and 137 comments by chile-pica on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Pretty, smart, interesting, at least a few shared interests. Finally, someone who is an asset, not a liability.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 05:49 PM
–

This is bang on. I think it’s pretty clearly disingenuous. Like a hardcore PETA volunteer going on a elephant hunting expedition. “Well it’s just my inalienable right to have preferences towards seal burgers and ivory jewelry”
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 05:38 PM
2

I think it’s easy. They realize they get more action by doing red pill stuff but they also wish that masculinity wasn’t so stifling in terms of matching an archetype.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:58 PM
2

I always say that your moms dating advice is good but you also need some of that sleazy uncle dating advice too. Life is about balance. Self improvement is good but at some point you need to sell the product you’ve been developing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 10:43 PM
1

That’s what I’m saying, they do care so they won’t do anything because people are so strict and serious about this stuff and the good folks take that on board and listen. I think we gotta chill out a little bit. You’re saying you’re not allowed to look at anyone without their consent? That’s bananas. I was in public all day and I’ve been looking at people. People been looking at me. How are people supposed to socialize when people are spouting rules so strict as this? Don’t look at anyone? Don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 10:38 PM
1

That makes no sense at all, this is what I’m talking about. This is an unattainable standard that just keeps good guys from participating. Leaving only the true psychos to participate.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 08:11 PM
1

That’s great that you say that. Many men have experienced harsh scrutiny and don’t feel like they have permission. I think many guys have had the experience of this innocuous behavior being labelled with terms with negative connotations. Terms like “staring” “ogling” “objectifying” If you’re not able to ogle a little bit then how are you supposed to communicate desire in those early moments? So often romance starts with the meeting of gazes between two people who are checking each other out. I f…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:11 PM
2

Is it bad or morally wrong to desire or feel attraction either of these examples?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 05:13 PM
2

When people validate me in other ways. Unfortunately it’s really rare to get a “hey great job being a good person today” it’s much more likely you’ll be praised or recognized for things like “promotion” or “went home with the pretty gal”
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:50 PM
0

I have many ladies in my family and friend groups. Last book about a female protagonist was probably the acotar series before that to kill a mockingbird. Some of my favorite books are by women: Mary Shelley, S E Hinton, Tamora pierce, Cornelia Funke. Most unique story? That’s tough as I said the only female protagonists I can think of are the acotar chick and scout from to kill a mockingbird. I guess ASOIAF has chapters where the POV is a girl, I love the Arianne chapter in AFFC. The dany chapte…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 06:34 PM
6

Eh I’d argue that depending on the environment. In an enlightened age professional environment where everyone is a mature adult, yes being a good person is advantageous. How often do you find yourself in an environment where 100% of the population is enlightened, professional, and mature?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:02 PM
8

I agree with your take, but I think a lot of guys don’t feel they have permission to try that. Here’s what is confusing. I experienced a lot of discouragement from bothering ladies. So like… how are you supposed to get good at flirting when you’re told forever that you shouldn’t do that. Furthermore, I find that guys in certain age groups tend to be too agreeable due to the heavy discouragement discussed above. Compound that with the takes like this post “just try harder, go get good at flirting…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 04:13 PM
1

“Think with the big head” that’s what people always told me. See also: “it’s a tool not a toy”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:32 PM
–

I agree, that’s why I think it’s not cool when people are so unusually cruel about height, money, etc. Back in the day if there was a guy saying something like “yeah she’s not really my type, too fat” we would call that person a pig. Meanwhile I have heard ladies in my social sphere speak exactly the same “piggish” things and I feel like I am not allowed to push back for fear of being labeled a red pill psycho. Fellas is it misogynist to think we should be nicer to everyone?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:31 PM
1

I find that people are hesitant to say that men should approach even after receiving signals. More often I find people counsel dudes to “never assume XYZ is a signal”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 02:18 PM
1

I say it on here a lot. I think the reason people think “bad boys” are so successful is because normal shit has been painted in a negative light. If you have been told many times, explicitly, that it is bad to ogle women. If you have been told that you shouldn’t take XYZ as a signal of interest. Then doing those things seem wrong. Meanwhile those things are obviously a common first step towards a romance. Im here to say good guys can do those things too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 05:01 PM
7

Okay then make them harder but if a lady passes the tests then she’s qualified.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:46 PM
7

Oh please. If a gal can pass the tests then she’s qualified. There’s very few jobs that require pure brute strength to a degree that would disqualify ladies.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:37 PM
1

It has helped me. I find that people in general don’t want to counsel men to be assertive, or to ever get upset. There’s a public perception that men are already too arrogant agro and domineering already. My therapist was the first person who ever told me “hey maybe you SHOULD be mad” “maybe you should trust your intent”
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 02:46 PM
2

Yeah I mean honestly I can’t speak to that scenario. All I can say is that as a guy with access to female attention, it seems that I need to break or bend a lot of rules I was taught about being a gentleman in order to make things progress towards sex or romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 06:21 PM
–

Define charisma stats. What are some typical “charismatic behaviors”?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 06:00 PM
4

Before the swipe, it doesn’t apply. After the swipe id say I was counseled to be extremely cautious and to try to make a gal feel safe. In my experience the more cautious you are the more creepy you are perceived. For instance “you, me, boba tea, I’ll pick you up” is kinda pushy and presumptuous yet it works way better than “would you like to get boba tea? Are you comfortable with me picking you up?” For some reason doing the right thing and asking about preferences and boundaries is seen as cre…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:06 PM
8

I disagree that it’s got anything to do with preferences and I assert that it’s a probability thing. I think many men have been discouraged from participating in regular courtship behaviors. People have made it seem like it’s arrogant to believe you’re good enough to get the girl, it’s manipulative to get good at flirting, and that you should feel bad if you make someone uncomfortable, even if your intentions were good. So guys who give a shit about being a good person stay humble, straightforwa…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:56 PM
1

I completely agree with you. This is a healthy outlook to have. Where I feel the need to push back is that culture puts a lot of pressure on men to think that if they get lots of attention from gals that’s a good thing and if you don’t there is something wrong with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:27 PM
2

I don’t think it’s all bad. I think from a relationship standpoint you can’t lift and earn your way into a woman’s heart. It helps, but at some point you need to flirt with and court a lady. As long as we discourage social interaction between people then there will still be lots of romantically unhappy people.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 04:24 PM
0

Your post presumes there’s tons of really unique people out there who you can find to match your style. Truth is if you have a countercultural style then it’s going to be more difficult. Being lgbtq has got to be hard. Furthermore being a woke, enlightened, egalitarian guy is going to be tough because I think culture expects men to be a liiiittle sexist in a benevolent, patronizing way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:21 PM
7

I have a theory that it’s because at some point normal courtship behaviors were painted in a very negative light. The good guys listen and stop doing those things and the more dark triad dudes just continue doing whatever works.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:20 PM
2

Preach
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:58 PM
3

I think it’s hard to read body language when you have been told ad nauseam not to read anything as a signal and to wait for explicit communication.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:57 PM
3

I find a big part for me was just realizing that many of the things I was told are bad are actually just normal courtship behavior. Like others have mentioned I tended to do the endless self improvement but then never sold the product because it felt wrong. I had been made to feel bad for things like even looking at a gal for too long. If you’re afraid of looking at a girl for fear of making her uncomfortable how the heck are you supposed to communicate your desire by flirting, making contact wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:41 PM
1

No clue I reckon it’s to do with culture and social programming we get
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:23 PM
3

Yes. For instance suggesting rather than asking. For whatever reason ladies despise being asked their opinion on something. “We should get drinks, I’ll pick you up” is wayyyy more successful than “hey would you like to get drinks? Are you comfortable with me picking you up?” For whatever reason the more pushy, less considerate approach works better. Baffles me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:43 PM
1

I completely agree with you I just feel the need to share that I have been told it’s wrong to use even the most tame pick up lines like for instance “I don’t believe we have met yet” and I have definitely received push back for what I would see as healthy levels of confidence or deigning to speak with women. So that’s the level of scrutiny many of us have experienced. Basically views like yours are not widespread and many guys have been shamed and browbeaten for things wayyyyyyyyy short of the a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 08:27 PM
0

Well these weren’t wingmen but female friends whose opinions mattered a lot to me. So I took them on board. My point is if the culture shifted a little bit so guys didn’t feel bad for expressing their desire then PUAs wouldn’t exist. The truth in what they say would be common sense and therefore nobody would need to seek it out on the dark corners of the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 07:01 PM
1

I think a lot of guys encounter pushback when discussing these things. I personally remember a time I was like “wow I think that gal was into me” only to be shamed for being so arrogant to assume that I was picking up signals “you think just because she talked to you that she was interested?” I listened to the nay sayers and then I got a instagram message months later basically the lady was like “I was sending all these signals how come we never dated or hooked up or anything” So again I think t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 06:11 PM
2

It honestly just seems like people just don’t like the idea that anyone would assert that they know anything about what women want. Again I think that’s the problem. Reasonable people who matter aren’t allowed to talk about that stuff so you get these gurus who fill the gap with a grain of truth and a gigaton of horse crap.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:56 PM
-2

Well here’s the issue. You assume that anyone who might believe something like “I am good enough and women might actually like me” is arrogant and entitled or plain wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:50 PM
-1

Like I said niches get created. As seen on tv is stuff that people are avoiding fighting for space in a retail store. But the knives might still be okay, definitely not as good as buying from an established, reputable cutlery company. If everyone is afraid to say “it’s okay to boldly pursue the gals you’re interested in” then some guru dingus is going to fill the gap. What’s more the important message gets muddled with a bunch of other crap.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:47 PM
2

“PUA antics are a nuisance” you mean like acknowledging a gal Is sending signals and then acting on it?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:31 PM
0

Eh some of them are cringey goofballs. I think the cringey goofballs become famous because of a vacuum of good balanced takes. People who matter who might give good advice are afraid to touch the topic so you get these jokers.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:24 PM
1

Eh you’ve got a point but that’s why conversations are typically more than two lines of dialogue. I’m telling you, yes it is a disillusion many guys feel. Why am I’m allowed to go on an endless journey of self improvement, yet I don’t feel like I really have permission to go and pursue gals that I like?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 04:08 PM
1

I think that is an inextricable facet of the issue that should be part of that conversation. What good is being a great catch if you never get out there and sell yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 03:58 PM
3

I think completely forgetting to acknowledge that part is more to do with not wanting to acknowledge the contradictions in the standard advice. So if you’ve been telling guys never do this never do that forever, then it’s easier to say “dress nice, groom, become a pillar of your community, get a good job” It’s harder and requires a bit of acknowledging the contradictions to say… “Hey, remember that thing I said never to do? Actually sometimes you should do that and actually women will be confuse…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 03:36 PM
1

I think women do give good advice for certain things. For instance women love me once they see that I demonstrate all the “good husband qualities” but I can’t do that at the club. Also that’s a passive strategy that really only works on family friends, long term friends/acquaintances, so your net won’t be as wide that way. It also feels like you have less agency with such a passive approach. Where ladies tend to obfuscate and bend the truth are when it comes to like picking up chicks at the club…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 03:20 PM
1

So if someone tells you repeatedly that it’s always wrong to take XYZ for signals, never approach in XYZ locations/environments, you would understand that to mean that it IS okay? That’s just poor comprehension skills, not some based, socially adept wisdom. I think it’s silly to call people naive for listening to people in positions of mentorship and authority. Otherwise what the heck is even the point of creating a polite society?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:58 PM
–

I try not to be. My whole life I have stood up to people who are jerks about this kind of stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:27 PM
3

I’ll grant you that. However, making it socially acceptable to shout about it from the rooftops is a little concerning. Back in the day if a guy said something like “she’s not my type she’s flat” we would call that person a pig. I have a lot of women in my family and social circle and this is exactly the way they talk about men. It’s like they think because I’m medium tall, handsome, successful, that it won’t bother me. It definitely bums me out, especially after a lifetime of defending my femal…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:03 PM
3

Well you said “everyone wants what’s best for themselves, and if they can get it - it’s none of your business” I generally disagree with these law of the jungle type takes. I think there are definitely limits to that. At some point you might be hurting people and making the world a little worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 02:47 PM
3

I think it’s good to care about people beside yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 02:35 PM
1

I agree. That is why I don’t think it’s cool to just defend a tribe and say it’s their inalienable right to shout the stuff from the rooftops. Otherwise it does fuel the monolith accusations.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 06:21 PM
11

You’re sitting there saying women don’t care or push back on shallow preferences men have. Well I invite you to go up to a group of your female friends and tell them with conviction “I won’t date a gal over 120 pounds” and see if they think it’s totally cool and it’s your god given right to have whatever shallow (or potentially unhealthy/dangerous) preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 06:11 PM
4

lol big boobs have always been ham fisted into media. The media was criticized for it and young men caught a lot of strays over it even though they have no power over what models Victorias Secret chooses. I honestly think your position here is pretty clearly disingenuous and contrarian considering the amount of dudes who have shared similar life experiences like mine. I think you should gather up your female friends and relations and give a PowerPoint presentation about how “big boobs and hips a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 05:41 PM
1

Oh I don’t think that I’m just saying I think that it is a contributing factor in why some people think “toxic guys” get all the girls. I personally believe good guys can learn to have game too, we just need to preach more balance and less dogma.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 05:24 PM
6

I guess just teachers, female mentors and role models, tv, movies. Did you really miss the whole era when people were pushing back on the fashion/magazine industry for beauty standards? You must have lived under a rock during the 90s-00s. I mean Spencer’s gifts had t-shirts that said “please don’t feed the models” which while it’s not an academic article about the perception of beauty standards by the general public I think it highlights just how prevalent the debate was that it was a snarky mem…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 05:11 PM
7

I mean my whole life I was under the impression that it’s my responsibility to push back on my fellow men if they say something shallow and false like “men are biologically programmed to like busty ladies with wide hips”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:55 PM
5

Same one I have when people say men are all predatory scoundrels. I say yes, some are. Then I would proceed to try to have a constructive discussion about why that is, what could we do to fix it? I wouldn’t defend men’s god given right to be predatory scoundrels. I find the latter is the typical response to even mild criticisms like “preference for height is kinda shallow”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:07 PM
1

I think those dudes exist because of a vacuum created by the lack of willingness to discuss those topics. Women seem to like a lot of red pill traits, yet everyone tries to pretend they don’t. Reasonable, mature mentors could discuss the balance and nuance needed so express those traits in a healthy way. Instead everyone important avoids these topics and these clowns are allowed to be the only voices that say things like “you should be confident and assertive” to guys who really need that advice…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 03:23 PM
3

I get it now but I just want to share a perspective that I think a lot of guys share. Imagine a boy raised in the time of me too and heavy handed college orientation seminars about sexual harassment. Do you think a guy raised in that time was counseled to “assume that glance in your direction and laughing at your jokes is a signal to escalate sexual or romantic advances” they 100% were counseled the opposite. So I see why some guys feel frustrated that they are expected to go against the social …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 02:22 PM
0

I don’t think so. I think the whole reason the “bad boy vs nice guy” debate even exists is because a lot of courtship behaviors have been shamed and framed as bad. Let’s say a guy successfully reads a signal and pursues a mutual desire. To those guys who have been told “it’s arrogant and entitled to assume a gal is interested just because she is exchanging glances with you and laughing at your jokes” in their mind it looks like ohh the asshole wins again by breaking the social rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 02:07 PM
2

I find I’m not assertive enough. For some reason it’s off putting to some to ask things like “would you like Thai or Italian? What time should I pick you up” vs saying “you, me, sushi, I’ll pick you up at 7” Also I find that things like picking someone up early on in dating is incredibly presumptuous (and I would think scary), yet I have much better luck with “I’ll pick you up at 7” than with “would you feel comfortable with me picking you up at 7”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 05:33 PM
8

“I’m currently living in a family property” lol mysterious, it COULD mean you’re an heir to a real estate fortune.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 05:02 PM
7

This.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 04:34 PM
5

I’ve been told explicitly by a few ladies that I just plain wasn’t bold enough (read: did not escalate, risk going for a kiss, attempting physical touch) and they were confused and that’s why things fizzled out. I was raised to be a gentleman and part of that was don’t be crass or over sexual, don’t try to touch someone without explicit consent, don’t try to kiss someone without explicit permission. Many normal courtship behaviors were things I was told never to do. Funny thing is I was expected…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 04:23 PM
-1

I think part of the issue is that guys assume dudes with girlfriends did something immoral to obtain the relationship. I think this is because in order to get a girl you kinda need to bend a lot of social rules. My opinion is that we just need to let good guys know it’s not wrong to boldly/confidently pursue a gal they are interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 02:22 PM
3

I’m a handsome, fit, successful guy so I’m lucky in that way. However, I have bored and confused a lot of ladies because I do not fit that typical archetype that (broadly, generally speaking) women like. I have watched the desire drain from a date as she finds out I’m not the guy I seem to be based on looks. I’m not a bold, exciting frat boy, cad. I’m a polite, humble, nerdy, gardening gentleman.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 02:16 PM
2

A wise man once said… “You ever meet somebody and they don’t do nothing? THEYDONDONUTTIN!”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 08:35 PM
3

Them not being 6’ isn’t some silver bullet argumentative proof, it doesn’t mean much when you see the statistics that like 92% of marriages involve a taller man and a shorter woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 08:31 PM
3

There is however something disingenuous about pretending that height is not an important factor just because the men in those statistics aren’t 6’. Take a look at the statistics on how many men are shorter than their wives.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 08:26 PM
3

Im guessing 5’6” is just taller than you, or are you some kind numerology enthusiast?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 07:07 PM
3

Word and I think some biases are dumb and hypocritical people should be challenged. I don’t believe in defending people at all cost just because we got the same plumbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 07:06 PM
1

No I just dismissed their comment out of hand due to the fact that it is disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:54 PM
8

This is ridiculous. Do you not have any women in your family or female friends? I have many ladies in my social network, family, etc and you have no idea how many times I’ve heard “he’s a great guy but he’s not (insert archetypical red pill trait) enough” I have a pretty woke family and friend group too these aren’t Tommy Lahren types.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:44 PM
9

Just say some people are hypocritical and need to do some internal work to become more mature. Dont make excuses and gaslight guys into thinking that there are tons of these super enlightened egalitarian minded women out there. Just like guys have weird biases based on basically nothing but social programming, so do women. I won’t sit here and say oh well that’s just a small portion of men. TRP is rife with oversimplification and exaggeration but I think most women rightly or wrongly are drawn t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:27 PM
12

Eh I agree that it’s easy to pillory and excoriate a straw man. However part of defeating that argument is to denounce people in your camp who look like that straw man, not dig a deeper trench and defend the straw man. It’s so easy for me to admit that men do have similar issues like the Madonna whore complex etc. HOWEVER, I won’t be defending men’s god given right to be hypocritical. That’s silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:11 PM
7

INB4 Obligatory: “people are unique I know a gal who is a gigantic Amazonian ceo who dates a twinky little figure skater who knits for a living” Okay and what does your boyfriend look like? What does your fantasy husband look like? What kind of jobs do THEY have?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:54 PM
1

I’m all for them advocating for themselves. Here’s how it typically goes when I get all “rah-rah you go girl” in support of my female brethren “Women should go ask for raises, it seems they lack a level of assertiveness due to some social programming” This usually elicits a response something like this. “Aaaaaaack! Don’t tell me about women’s issues! Women are perfectly capable of being assertive and asking for raises” It’s like… yeah…. That’s what I said…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:51 PM
2

I agree PEOPLE should be reasonable and less shallow in their expectations. PEOPLE should value content of character more and take the entire person into consideration. I disagree with this adversarial lens you are looking through.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:37 PM
2

Disagree I don’t think you can separate social issues from social programming. Even in your post and in some of your responses you’re admitting that there was some training and social programming that leads people to behave a certain way. So you can say that “men need to talk about their feelings more with their friends”. However, without acknowledging the impulse to call spa days and mimosas and brunch “self care” for one group yet describe golf with the gang as “selfish and frivolous” for anot…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 04:17 PM
4

Takes like this are understandable but neglect to address the pushback men feel whenever they do advocate for men’s issues. No matter how gentle and fair the advocacy is. “Land acknowledgement” is a term that’s been pushed around.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:43 PM
2

Yeah but that’s what I’m saying. Even if a gal IS interested and she IS responding positively to your advances, people judge and will tell you ohhhh you’re doing it wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 09:02 PM
1

I agree but I feel the need to point out that lots of things short of lying, misleading, and deceit are often scrutinized as bad. For example even having an iota of confidence can often get you reprimanded by female friends and acquaintances. I remember one time saying out loud “gee I think that gal likes me” only to be browbeaten about how “just because a gal is nice and talks to you doesn’t mean that she’s interested”
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:57 PM
1

I think for some reason people just scrutinize male courtship strategies really harshly. I was once told that this pick up line is wrong and I should stop using it. “Hey I don’t believe we have met” or “Do I know you from somewhere” I was told that because it presumes some prior connection it is false pretense and therefore immoral. But here’s the thing… it worked and the women I met that way I don’t think felt betrayed or lied to. It’s just an example of something totally harmless being framed …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:49 PM
1

This is how I’ve experienced it in life. Me: “I find that X strategy worked” People: “Ew that’s wrong” Which leads me to believe that basically all that matters is the person you desire responded positively. Which is hard pill to swallow for men who were raised to be gentlemen.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:37 PM
–

I want to try to facilitate understanding and have good conversations. It takes humanizing a problem before it can be truly addressed by a group.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 09:49 PM
2

Fairness is the key. Time consumption, laboriousness. These are the things that ought to be factored in. Not some arbitrary nonsense. Having a peen does not make me uniquely capable of anything except carrying heavy stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:28 PM
3

I think that is a good thing but I also think we need to change the way we teach boys about courtship to be more nuanced. Like yes detach from the need but then also don’t be afraid to chase your desire either. So many dudes I think have already done as you say and aren’t more satisfied, but just generally romantically numb. TLDR: yes AND also de shame the whole act of courtship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 05:14 PM
9

Well the dominance of Mediterranean grain production also probably helped her out.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:07 PM
–

Yes. I’m not a jealous person and also have enjoyed my fair share of random hookups.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:13 PM
3

Well you implied that I’m looking in the wrong places for enlightened woke people who aren’t so rigid about male archetypes and gender roles. So I felt the need to explain the contradictions and why they felt so… well… contradictory. Still want to be clear that I agree the world would be a better place if more people truly were more open minded about this stuff. Men don’t get a pass either I don’t think they’re more open minded necessarily it’s just that they’re more willing to widen their prefe…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 06:00 PM
1

So would you think the theater community is a bastion of hardcore right wing conservatives? Thats where I encountered these contradictions. Furthermore academia… notoriously a bastion of right wing thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 05:47 PM
1

I agree that those people exist but it requires a level of internal work that is just so rare. For instance, EVERYONE likes looking at their phone. But for some reason many women are just not comfortable with seeing a man being idle. So while you may meet a gal who also likes video games in my experience those women also are not super stoked to see you playing video games. I think they have some social programming that biases them towards thinking you ought to be out hunting a buffalo or somethi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 05:27 PM
3

Sure some men will say it’s lame and childish to play video games but I’m not really concerned with their opinion because I’m not trying to sleep with them. This I think challenges your first argument pretty effectively, as for the second… I have been with conservative leaning women and the wokest of the woke. The all seem to prefer that I pay, appreciate my well developed physique, my height, my wealth etc. Furthermore they seem to prefer I was more assertive, more jealous, my sporty interests …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 05:15 PM
2

The problem is men are definitely still supposed to conform to a thing. It doesn’t feel like guys are as free to do what you’re suggesting in your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 04:23 PM
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The term fat phobic being so easily applied to that specific situation is the problem. Whereas some specific groups are allowed to just call that “preferences”
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:50 PM
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I think feminism has its dark side just like the “Manosphere” but this is not a convincing argument to me. For instance, intersectionality you have dismissed categorically as woke gobbledegook. It is a useful term that has indeed been misunderstood and abused in feminist circles. That’s not the fault of the concept or the terminology. It’s the bad faith actors that I agree do exist. My best analogy would be how (some) capitalists use capitalism as a justification for all the bad things they do. …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:01 PM
1

Wish they would have talked about the power vacuum more. The only reason these goofy gurus exist is because the more reasonable voices also get treated as part of the problem. So people end up seeing that as “what is the point of being reasonable if I still get treated like the worst of the worst” Also I think it didn’t talk enough about the plight of all regular working people. Louis Theroux is a millionaire documentary maker. So I think the discussion of “why not just be an honorable plumber” …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:35 PM
1

You’re awesome I appreciate you spreading this positivity out here.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:56 PM
2

I think that is illuminating. It’s clear that women don’t have the same fear of being perceived as dangerous because they aren’t haunted by the knowledge of how awful their ancestors treated the opposite sex. I think we just need to tone down that shame. Which I appreciate your post and responses because it seems your position is that it is okay for a guy to assume a woman is interested and test the waters even without explicit consent. Which is a departure from what most men have been taught, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:44 PM
2

I think once you’ve been dating things change a little and the stakes aren’t quite as high. But to your point I think anyone who’s been in an LTR has experienced situations where you misread something and your partner is not in the mood. Its still a tough interpersonal situation to work through and it’s riddled with pitfalls.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:37 PM
4

I think you got it. After having been told in no uncertain terms that it’s wrong to assume a gal is interested. Period. Never to approach women: at the gym, grocery store, work, school, etc etc. Never to touch someone without explicit consent. Then yes it feels like pushing boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:31 PM
8

Pretty much. At some point you’re going to have to break some kind of rule. For instance “never assume someone is interested just because they are being nice and giving you attention”
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:58 PM
5

I agree that then it is obvious. The first time would me much less obvious and likely you’re just going off of vibe and some implicit cues. I find its hard for people to encourage men to take that risk. Because a lot of problematic things are happening in that scenario. A guy has to assume a girl is interested, and attempt to kiss or touch someone who hasn’t given explicit consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 07:54 PM
1

I had a lady tell me once that I should get to know a gals routine so that I can intercept her and create a situation to ask for her number. I was like…. You’re secret tip is….. stalking?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 07:13 PM
4

I just want to point out that there are a lot of conflicting reports out there that asking, initiating, and making a move actually are bad things to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 07:11 PM
9

This. Often I see women or blue pillers giving advice like this as if its totally harmless then when a guy gives the same advice they try to tame it down and back peddle. It’s seems they just think it’s icky if a guy is confident or comfortable taking these risks.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 07:04 PM
1

I said decency non nunnery.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:28 PM
1

Eh I don’t think you can assume that. It’s not rock solid evidence but the movie trope of the playboy getting slapped for not calling a gal back exists for a reason. Again if that’s all out in the open and there’s no deception or assumptions or convenient omission of information then no worries be the caddiest cad you want to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:19 PM
1

Im not a prude or anything I don’t care about people having casual relationships as long as everyone is aware of that. That agreement is a part of the fairness though. I don’t think we can just assume everyone we sleep with is only interested in a casual relationship. I reckon it’s actually the opposite. Anyway it seems like we are mostly on the same page.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:02 PM
1

See if we just make it a race to the bottom then you can see how relationships might suffer and chaos ensues. It’s hard when there are bad actors out there to not stoop to their level but we gotta try to take the high road. Or that’s my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 06:41 PM
1

Disagree. I think people have a responsibility to be good to one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 06:38 PM
1

Do you cheat at monopoly? Golf?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 06:35 PM
1

I think it is an important contributing factor. Another being yes relationships are hard and if you don’t have good interpersonal skills they’re even harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 06:29 PM
1

I think a lot of high demand people learn this eventually. Based on the celebrity interviews and things I’ve see over the years.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 05:53 PM
1

I agree, nice gets an undeserved, broad stroke association with positivity. However, I think part of that is oversimplification that spills over to things like selfishness/self-care, confidence/arrogance, etc. People end up being “nice” because someone told them it’s selfishness to speak up and not self care. People become “nice” because at some point someone told them it’s arrogant to be anything but humble. Balance is missing from a lot of these conversations.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 05:47 PM
7

So there is an element of fairness you believe in where just because someone can get away with something and it’s not technically illegal doesn’t mean you should. There are ways to be a decent human being and we all have levels of influence we can use to steer the world in a positive direction.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 05:31 PM
20

I don’t agree with or understand some of your points. Generally I think there is a misunderstanding of male privilege. A lot of it has to do with classism and less to do with “boys vs girls”.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 05:28 PM
8

If you had a son or a nephew who was a total poonhound and wasn’t treating his female peers with appropriate respect. Would you just say “that’s my boy!”? Or would you maybe try to coach him up a little on the responsibility that comes with being blessed?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 05:14 PM
2

No ultimately you can’t control people to stop doing things that are lame but still legal. However you can push back on people and educate people as to the error of their ways. There is a middle road between legal prosecution of crimes and unimpeachable free will to do things that are immoral yet legal.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 05:03 PM
1

Im down for mandatory public service for everyone, but not in this “boys vs girls” kinda way. Just in the interest of fairness.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 04:53 PM
3

Because it’s wrong. It may be rad in the short term for the winners but it creates an unstable environment broadly. Uncle Ben had a quote about it. Something about power and responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 04:48 PM
5

I don’t think you can force men to want hardcore career women or women to want less ambitious men. However, if we mitigate the consequences of traditional system I think it broadens the idea of an “eligible” partner. So if child care is cheaper women may not feel the need to date some super earner, men don’t feel quite as averse to dating a CEO badass. Basically if the tide raises all boats then there just more eligible partners around. I think that decreases the level of cynicism and extreme pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 04:29 PM
7

I think if everyone got paid better, plus free or subsidized child care, plus more equal enforcement of certain laws. That would be a step in the right direction. Beyond that just cultural shift towards decency. I think there’s too much forgiveness for winners who act immorally. Men and women. Just because you are in demand and can get away with something doesn’t mean you should. A lot of it has to do with confronting your base instincts. As a rule I find platitudes banal and well… too platitudi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 04:03 PM
4

Im curious where is the tipping point for you on these issues. OP talks about a healthy amount of dark triad traits. When does stoicism become phsycopathic lack of emotion? When does confidence become narcissistic? When does leadership become Machiavellian manipulation? I find growing up as a boy even healthy amounts of those things were going to receive pushback. No matter how much balance and care was used in attempting to stay on the good side of the tipping point.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:37 PM
6

I think a big problem is that we even see some of those traits as bad. I read “the prince”, it does have passages that discuss how the best way to get what you want is to befriend people and offering them something that they need. Does that sound so bad?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:19 PM
2

Yeah that’s the issue. In the context of dating, I was never told to “trust my intent” I was always told “never approach woman at XYZ location” “never touch someone without their explicit consent” “never assume someone is interested just because they are kind to you” It lead to lots of dates getting confused or bored.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:58 PM
1

It was just random lol I switched services and was matched with this dude. The lady was great too though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:47 PM
1

I mentioned setting boundaries, being a little selfish. Beyond that: trusting your intent, allowing yourself to be confident, being less fearful of causing offense.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:34 PM
4

“Setting aside that red pill pushes a false dichotomy that men can either be nice and boring or assholes.” This is important. We need to separate things like setting boundaries, having a healthy amount of selfishness, having a healthy amount of detachment among others from the red pill or the “nice guy vs asshole” narrative. I was raised by women to be the perfect gentleman. My therapists, one woman and one gay man so far, really helped me adapt some more “red pill traits”. If it didn’t come fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 04:46 PM
–

I think in lieu of real actual laws we could all move towards a consensus of decency as a social norm. I just categorically disagree with these “might makes right” kind of takes. Yes you can get away with being a dirt bag if you’re in demand enough. The question is should you? We can’t pass a “no assholery” law. But we can spread a little positivity and create a culture of fairness. Rather than defend assholery as “unimpeachable free will”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 02:51 PM
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Look dude im just pointing out the subtext of your argument through your analogy. And I don’t disagree, you should shower, dress nice etc. For handsome guys with money the basic grooming takes you further and the clothes are easier to come by. Neither really has anything to do with the content of your character.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 01:48 PM
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That seems incredibly unfair! Women used as brood sows against their will. Thats downright draconian.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 01:42 PM
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Yeah you seem to have a balanced perspective. I just mean we can’t make excuses for people. If you spurn the love of a wonderful woman who has a good head on her shoulders in lieu of a 10/10 airhead model. I’ve got little sympathy for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 01:35 PM
–

You said you have a better chance of getting a job if you dress well. An analogy for looking put together in a dating context.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 01:30 PM
–

So you agree, things like looks do tend to outweigh things that ought to matter more.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 01:20 PM
–

I mean I thought that the whole point of modern culture was to make things more fair. This OP seems like he would support the divine right of kings and rights to a first night and that sort of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 01:16 PM
0

I hear you I’m just sharing my experience. Many women might think they’re enlightened but then get grossed out when you aren’t doing the macho thing you’re supposed to. You’re right though all you can do is try to educate them or just move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 07:12 PM
3

The tricky part is that if you reject patriarchy entirely you will become unsexy and unlovable even to the most woke and enlightened women. I hate it but I have to do certain things if I want to be perceived as a man worth boning or marrying.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 06:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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