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chrizzleon Archive

View 2 posts and 23 comments by chrizzleon on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I did this for many months a while ago. Left everything on the mat and went home exhausted and fell asleep. The burn helped in the moment as the evening when they went back was always the hardest
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 03:11 PM
2

This hits hard, I have had the exact same experience with my kids. Even 3 years on when they are not with me I miss them and I find it really hard to deal with. It’s not always like that, especially now, but at times it just creeps up on me. I haven’t found any miracle way to deal with it, just really to allow and accept it when it does happen and it passes. It does help a little though to push my mind to think of the next time I will see them and what we can do together, I like that. Just keep …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 03:08 PM
7

Marriage is a lifetime contract. If she left the workforce on a promise from you that you would take care of her financial support for a lifetime But that contract is the marriage and the marriage is being dissolved. Why let one party decide which parts they want tp cherry pick for life? My ex wouldnt work and used the last 2 years we were together to get a Masters. 2 weeks after graduation she dropped the bomb. I had to carry her when she made every excuse under the sun not to work and got qual…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:31 PM
1

Alimony as a thing needs to be done away with completely. legalised theft, Id have been OK with spousal support to help her adjust and remove any excuse that she was left without, but the onus should be on both partner to get their houses in order and stand on their own 2 feet.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 01:08 PM
5

I'm getting to a better place these days... but that is something that I still haven't managed to shake even one little bit, the guilt of feeling that the kids come from a "broken home". I was not the one that walked away, I was the one that wanted to do the real work to fix things, and yet I still feel bad, as though if I just tried hard enough I could have pulled off an impossible superhuman feat like stopping the unstoppable!
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 11:27 AM
10

Welcome, yeah there is a big thing in our culture (by which I mean the the whole "West") where we have had this horrible materialistic thing where divorce is so one sided that it is seen as a pay day, in a massively disproportionate way for the wife. So a trope of exactly what you have witnessed has become prevalent. The "escape" from the husband and a big unearned financial reward for it too. The legal system has a lot to answer for, in particular the lawyer culture that has profited not by jus…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 11:22 AM
2

Yes I've done it myself, it was bliss
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 10:21 AM
9

No good can come of this. You are letting her demonstrate the idea that she still provides a benefit as such for you, while getting to indulge in the age old women's approach of "I dont want him but I dont want anyone else to have him either". This will go on while it maintains the above and maybe even as a form of support for *her* while she moves on. This could keep you in a position where you still feel a level of attachment and it is guaranteed the second she adjusts to being apart or finds …
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 12:44 PM
1

for got to mention with regard to entitlement of the pension value, it 50% of the value of what was put in the pension pot while married and before separation.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 11:56 AM
1

This is similar to me, and dont count on them stopping there. My ex is looking into my pension and a house I have owned since before I ever met her, both she contributed literally 0.00. She never said she would not go after the pension, so I had to go to my pension provider and get a 'cash equivalent transfer value' for her lawyer to see what is there for them to get their hands on. As for the house, she is not automatically entitled to anything at all from it as its premarital, however if they …
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 11:53 AM
2

No not at all, but I suspect she does more than me for a couple of reasons. One is that when there is a problem she often projects issues onto me that I know are nothing to do with me, they belie a wish for a time when she was carried and had fewer responsibilities. I was broken to the point where I could not work for 4 months and spent a year in therapy due to stressing myself trying to hold it all together, but now and again she will accuse me of having bad intentions because I "cant move on" …
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 09:47 AM
2

All this really says is that "good women" are pretty rare
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 10:53 AM
14

So much of it though is about money. And the massive bias in the divorce process across the entire Western world is a lottery win for many women. What you're seeing is narcissistic women getting carried even after divorce, but they no longer even have to carry the "burden" of being a decent parter (if even they ever were) and basically becoming a sponge, a life of even less responsibility and still living in a mans pocket. I think this video, which I have seen in several places now sums it up...…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 10:50 AM
1

Yeah the rise of cards that look to mimic engagement cards etc for divorce and social media posts of narcissistic women out for the night with toxic friends as though (in a sense that probably have) they have one the lottery!
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 10:44 AM
3

I had a few of these terms as well. One of them that was very transparent (not to mentioned cliched as all hell) was about having to live "her own truth". To me, thats just taking "my opinion" and rubbing better PR on it by using a statement involving the word "truth" to make it sound more credible.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 10:42 AM
7

Its a form of cognitive dissonance... "...I am relieved to be free because he was the problem..." And "... I was too high level for him to keep...". All bolstered by a divorce process that gifts them vastly greater resources than they ever contributed which reinforces their feeling of self worth.... "look what I'm entitled to as compensation... I have been wronged..." If they allow themselves to believe this line of thinking then its all easier
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 10:38 AM
1

There really needs to be a complete cultural shift across the entire Western world with regards to marriage and divorce. It needs to be ended as soon as the papers are signed and each is independently responsible for their lives after that point and the division of assets should be along the lines of what each part can demonstrate they contributed to. If the non-working party has enough to keep them off the streets for 6-12 months, then the responsibility is on them to keep themselves after that…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 10:35 AM
-1

You should not feel beholden to this. It’s a weird manipulative and controlling tactic. If the kids are asked gently and are ok with a soft introduction to your new partner that’s all there is to it. If they are happy with it, that’s the only duty of care you have. After all, what exactly is your ex going to do? Say she doesn’t like your new partner and vetos the kids meeting her, what then? And if she gives her blessing? Are you only to proceed because she still retains that control over you? B…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 07:17 AM
1

Thanks, yeah thats the issue,it’s the potential harm to the kids. I can say thats largely what I do, it helps to mitigate thing most of the time, but occasionally if she feels Im not jumping fast enough she revs up. The only issue I have here is that being a narcissist communicating broke down years ago, as she’d talk but not listen and if she did it was only to tell me why I was wrong and we’d be going with whatever idea she’d he that she’d obviously decided on before bringing up the issue. So …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 11:49 PM
1

I think a lot of in general comes down to the assumptions made about men that women perpetuate in divorce. For example, if the man cheats its his fault and hes a dog... if the woman cheats it must have been out of desperation because he starved her of affection or was mean in some to drive her to it. I remember reading somewhere a few lines about how in general men are treated with suspicion that women just don't face, its an amusing way of thinking about it but it characterises the difference w…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 09:54 AM
1

Just wanted to ask... what are "DARVO" tactics?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 09:46 AM
3

It was mostly her but yes I get the blame. My ex is narcissistic, this is a character trait that has been confirmed by her former best friend and estranged sister. As well as the issues (with self harming due to arguments with her mother than our 13 year daughter has had). Our lives were always her way or the highway. In the end it broke me down to the point that I became withdrawn and too compliant... a doormat. This caused her to see me as uncommunicative, and this is where she sees the proble…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 09:44 AM
1

Absolutely brilliant take on this sir!!!! 👏🏻 I have bee struggling with this as well since the beginning of the divorce process. My wife barely worked and depended on me for almost everything, she wasn't even the main earner, and yet she appreciated nothing. To look at this in a way where the woman I'm with would look at me in the same terms of my ability to spend on her would be a brilliant way to get them to raise their own red flag and warn me off them!
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:35 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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