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cinderlaurella Archive

View 0 posts and 67 comments by cinderlaurella on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I would lean into the truth. This is probably a more common experience than most men care to admit; not the consequences, but realizing that past behavior was actually traumatizing for the women in their past. It might feel isolating now, but if you are open and honest about your past transgressions and the work you are doing to better yourself and any attempted ammends, people will respect your radical honesty and you'll find new connections. You might even change someone's life. This is a real…
/r/ExRedPill07/11/24 09:08 AM
1

"I think I have to be successful in some way" My guess would be that you need to adjust your perspective on success. Success as laid out by a capitalist and patriarchal society is not the only version of success, and in general, tying your self-worth to that type of success makes a lot of people absolutely miserable. Success can look like whatever you want it to. It can be (and maybe should be) about your emotional fulfillment. Success can mean being a loyal friend, learning something new, tryin…
/r/ExRedPill07/11/24 08:51 AM
2

Every woman I know likes video games & comics; maybe not the same ones as you but some form. Anyone who went through puberty in a post-gameboy world has some love for some videogame out there, I'm sure. Do the things that make you happy, make changes in yourself that make YOU happy, don't worry about how what you do will be perceived by potential romantic connections. Anyone who is actually compatible or worth spending your time with will love you for the things that make you YOU, not try to cha…
/r/ExRedPill07/11/24 08:33 AM
3

The reconciliation is that women are wrong, full stop. So no matter what a woman does, she's wrong. The only real way to be acceptable as a female for them is if they find a woman who hates themselves and other women as much as they do. You just happily accept your fate as always being subhuman to them and everything is kosher. The mistake is thinking that they have allowed space for a woman to be deemed good; the contradictions are not actually contradictions, they're they're a caste system.
/r/ExRedPill07/11/24 08:07 AM
1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ3ttWHujI0&list=PLvOWTVxFWw07PGV9Kvf4ArN0QM4nnceDX old MTV show
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/17 08:10 PM
3

i miss that show so much
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/17 06:43 PM
1

This is everything I want feminist to mean
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 08:29 PM
1

I posted this question last night and have been having this conversation forever now so honestly I've just lost total interest, not to mention I'm trying to prepare for hurricane Matthew which is due to probably destroy my house in t-4 hours so I'm like over it all lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 08:25 PM
2

Probably true...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 08:23 PM
1

I don't see how one would affect the other, you want to stay home then stay home, you want to fight then fight...?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 04:52 PM
1

I think it's probably half and half. They think it will be one way and then it turns out another and they lose the control they once had. I think the media preys on literally anyone that they can, any gender any race any religion any party at any time, anything that will churn out money.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:49 PM
1

This is more an issue with media and celebrity phenomena. I'm against for-profit media in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:46 PM
1

Women were sexualized in Shakespeare plays. Women are sexualized in the bible. Women are sexual. Humans are sexual. The media just profits from this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:42 PM
1

But did it only happen after women's liberation?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:39 PM
1

I haven't exactly decided I'm not a feminist, I just haven't really decided that I am one either. Mostly I just decided that I don't know anything and there's so much to know that I can't really claim a side until I do the proper research, which I probably never will because it honestly doesn't affect me in any real way. I do think there's a wage gap between the two genders, but I don't think it exists at the income bracket I will most likely be in for the rest of my life (I'm more concerned wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:34 PM
1

Yeah, honestly I just assumed feminism was a belief that women should be treated like free and valued humans, now idk what I believe and I've gotta go do a bunch of research (which I probably won't, if I'm being honest) if I want to actually know if I relate to the feminist movement.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:20 PM
1

Well then my response remains, it was not my intent to insinuate women are victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:06 PM
1

Oh, it just makes the sentence sound like an accusatory statement instead of an answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 01:58 PM
1

When I read the parent I read the sentence without "who."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 01:32 PM
2

Yeah, that's not what I was insinuating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 01:23 PM
2

Ok
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 01:19 PM
1

Not saying that either, of course there are still men and women all over the world that don't get to do anything of the sort. I'm just postulating that that should be able to.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 01:18 PM
1

Well I guess that's where societal boundaries would come in. Let's assume that in civil society murder is not allowed (so pretending the death penalty is nonexistent and without going too in depth into self defense and exceptions alike), both men and women are not allowed to murder, so their freedoms are still equal to one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 01:12 PM
2

This is blowing my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 04:29 AM
2

But then we gotta get into what the fuck is "normal" and let's not.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 04:12 AM
1

I mean women have had free thought forever, I meant that they have the right to carry out those thoughts into reality... I wasn't clear so that's my bad. But I guess I also never strictly tied feminism to a political identity. Of course politics play into it, though politics kind of play into everything, but isn't feminism a belief system? Or am i the only one looking at it like that?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 04:11 AM
2

Thanks, yeah, I know all this logically... But sometimes, especially on anonymous internet forums, I get to this point where I read so much anger coming from one place and I just wish I could like hug it out of them... Which the internet is not good for lol. And even when I read degrading stuff in TRP it doesn't really make me angry with them as much as sad for them and possibly angry at whatever happened to trigger this kind of breakdown. I'm like here is this online cult where the only thing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 04:07 AM
2

Yeah, I would include that in freedom. Like when you described an instance where feminists support women who want to be sex workers of their own volition... Sex trafficking is inherently degrading and sexist but if a truely chosen profession (like not being sold or economically forced into it) then it's your prerogative as a free thinking and free acting woman to do whatever brings you satisfaction and fulfillment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 03:51 AM
3

My view is controversial? As in what I believe wouldn't be considered feminist?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 03:32 AM
3

Honestly I was hoping to hear from some RP women cause I just found that sub and I'm so totally confused about how you can be a woman and not a feminist. Like if you're a woman and not a feminist then what are you? Doesn't just the fact that you can have free thoughts as a woman inherently mean you're a feminist? It was an extremely confusing place to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:56 AM
2

So helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:52 AM
2

2 hands pointing in opposite directions
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:47 AM
3

This comment is like when Alice asks which way the rabbit went
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:41 AM
2

I'd say plates would have it worse since BB gets sex and commitment. Plates get sex (and probably not an intimate kind that makes you feel connected and appreciated) and instability that possibly lead to low self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/16 02:13 AM
1

Exaaaaactly. Then you decide from there what is the most likely possibility and act accordingly. Unless you like to live in the world of just the margin of error possibilities, but i would think that would be unnecessarily chaotic.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 02:44 PM
2

First, let me say I appreciate the length and detail of this response. Second, you hit the nail on the head with what I was trying to get at. I know that not everyone on TRP is a misogynistic ass, and every once and a while I'll see a post from what seems to be a confused and concerned male and I'm like here I am, happen to be on the internet right now, happen to be reading a post about something that I've been on the other side of, how nice it would have been if my (probably ex) boyfriend would…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 02:28 PM
1

Lol I mean if you want to take it that way sure. But it would be like 99% cheating (im going to include trans in cheating because it's probable that if husband is living double life he's also having sex in that life) 1% cannibal. But I think we can agree that my advice was not as wild as all that, there was a definite opinion given.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 02:09 PM
1

I suppose I understand it in theory, (and even in practice as applied to CSI) but like I said, even in science there is never absolute certainty so I could never presume to judge human emotions and motives with absolute certainty. Probability, of course; even with conviction to that probability. But like if someone were to ask me if something is possible I'd have to say yes. Anything is possible, but not everything is probable. You feel me?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 04:54 AM
1

I think I can actually agree with that... Actions speak louder than words is one of my favorite cliches. (As applied to both genders, though)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 04:46 AM
1

I think I explained a little better what my original intent was in my asktrp comments below in response to lewiscross
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 04:32 AM
1

Lol it's not my intent to think like TRP. I've since read a lot of that sidebar and there's too many absolutes for it to be anywhere near my own views on the human condition.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 04:28 AM
1

Yeah that I understand, again why I wouldn't have posted on this particular type of situation. But idk how it was wishy washy or not brutally honest, I didn't point out every instance if manipulation (the hypothetical verbal interactions were cliche enough on their own), but I thought it was clear that it was my opinion that she was keeping him on the hook and emotionally stunted so he should move on. Having that +-2% has nothing to do with me being a female as much as it has to do with science …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 04:23 AM
1

I mean, yeah that's why even though I've been like weirdly watching all these interactions on asktrp for like a year now, I've posted like 4 times. Mostly I don't have opinions on anything that goes on on there it's just wildly interesting to see that subsect of human interaction... But every once and a while there will be a post where a guy is like "my girlfriend is acting this way and idk why and how do I respond" and all of the advice isn't advice at all its just like "dump her." But the guy …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 04:00 AM
1

I think I actually did suggest dumping her, something like in my experience I acted (whatever way girl in advice post was acting) when I wanted to break up with boyfriend in same situation as poster. But then ended with the only way to really know what's going on is to ask her. I guess I'm forgetting TRP is acting under the assumption that all women are liars and therefore asking her would be useless lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 03:35 AM
1

Also if she's more interested in jerks than in nice, stable, mature, supportive men then she's still like a teenage girl on the emotional relationship level and you should move on anyway. Change comes from within, no matter how good you are to her she's going to keep choosing assholes until SHE decides it's not worth it, not because you showed her the light. Also, a lot of women never leave this phase of emotional masochism. But if you think she might come around one day then keep her as an acqu…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 03:25 AM
1

Although there is that slight chance that her saying "why can't I find a guy like you" is because she's hinting that she likes you but she's too shy to say so and you haven't made a move so she doesn't know if you like her... But chances of this are so slim that I'd bet on the former meaning behind it. This other interpretation is like the +-2% error margine and Occam's razor points to her keeping you on the hook (probably knowingly and throwing in things like "im so glad you're my friend" to ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 03:10 AM
2

Honestly I probably wouldn't respond to this because there's no perspective that I could give to this situation that isn't apparent. If he feels used then he probably is being used. If it was true friendship then it would be symbiotic and no one would feel used and he wouldn't want to date her. Just by him having romantic feelings for her "friendship" has ceased to exist. The question here is more like does he want to keep living in a fantasy where they're pretend friends or does he want to conf…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 02:28 AM
2

Well, you'd know better than I; perhaps I misinterpreted. But it came across as hostile to me when being accused of complaining and calling people sexist -which neither were my intention- and then the last part was just dripping with sarcasm... Not exactly relaxed imo. (Although I understand where he might have confused me asking if a contributing factor to my posts being down voted was because I was female... I meant along the lines of because I announced that I was female not specifically beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/16 12:37 AM
2

Lol I guess fair point. not my intended inflection but I guess now I know that's how it will be taken... so thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 11:18 PM
2

Yeah I was on my phone's desktop view and the sidebar links were so small, there's a crap load of rules/info I can see on my laptop now. Thanks for the info, though!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 11:16 PM
1

insightful, thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 11:14 PM
3

I didn't intend to accuse anyone of sexism or complain and I'm sorry if it came across that way. I was legitimately curious, fully aware of my ignorance, hence asking the question... and I'm pretty sure I totally owned up to just clicking around reddit posting random opinions cause I'm bored... so idk why the hostility. I have no hidden agendas or false sense of importance, I'm self-admittedly nosy and I really don't know how I offended you so much, so would you kindly chill out?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 11:11 PM
2

thanks, yeah i'll stop that. and i've never considered that anecdotal advice would be unhelpful, so that's an interesting new view. i always assumed just straight up telling someone what to do would put them off...especially since you can never fully understand what it would be like to be in a specific person's experience- but that's probably what would be bad about another person's experience-based advice as well.... anyway thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 08:31 PM
1

it's ok, the consensus just seems to be that no one needs to know i'm a girl. so i'll just stop that. i so rarely can even relate to problems on AskTRP anyway. thanks though!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 08:26 PM
1

not really, they're so old and i post a lot in music subs so idk how i would begin to find it in my comment history. i posted one earlier today and it's only at 0 points, so that's actually not so bad lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 08:22 PM
3

This is all super helpful, thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 08:19 PM
1

i don't preface just anything with my gender, specifically posts on AskTRP. my rational for the gender preface is that it seems like a male-driven sub and in the like 4 times i've posted there i'm always unsure if it's even allowed for me to post on it as a female? curious as to what your rational is behind it making someone look like an attention whore?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/16 08:17 PM
1

it's not his fault entirely, i should have been able to distance myself from the guilt. ultimately he was never going to kill himself, he just knew it was a trigger for me (parent stuff), and i should have been able to internalize that even if he did it wouldn't have been my fault. but there definitely was a true hatred for him during and after sex. it was disturbingly intense and i've never let myself get into another situation like it because of how heinous it was emotionally on my side as wel…
/r/askTRP04/10/16 05:51 PM
1

If you care about her: Break up, she's never really going to forgive you for all the cheating, even with couples therapy (which who wants that life?) I'd say long term chances of success are 50/50. Sounds like she's too weak-minded to be able to walk away on her own and your relationship isn't healthy for her (she sounds like an optimist with all that 'it'll get better' crap). If you don't care about her: don't handle it at all. you don't even need to placate her, if she's a masochist with low s…
/r/askTRP04/10/16 05:14 PM
1

In my experience, the things that escalate friendship are time and trust. Spending time doing fun activities gives you shared bonding experiences you can reminisce about (feeds into an addiction to nostalgia that I think humans have). Trust is possibly the biggest part of friendship, it includes integrity, loyalty, and honesty...all things that make human connection feel safe and worthwhile. You can gain trust quickly by sharing a painful truth about yourself with another person, people like thi…
/r/askTRP04/10/16 04:25 PM
3

My apologies, if I offended you. Gotta ask, if you only find female companionship worthwhile when sex is the primary focus, what does it matter if she leaves when the interest fades? Also, I didn't mean find a woman who is a prude, I meant more along the lines of finding a woman who you find interesting without sex on the table. It would stand to reason that, if ever you did have sex, afterwards you'd still find her interesting.
/r/askTRP26/07/16 04:14 AM
2

it doesn't sound good, tbh. i'm a big believer in giving the benefit of the doubt, but this shit sounds fucked. she can attach herself financially to him but she doesn't know if she loves him? nahhh. she's using him. and if he feels like he can't trust her, he should trust himself and his instincts and break it off, sublet the apartment and as for the car...he's probably screwed, he could try asking her to sign him off but it'll probably end up in small claims court...where she'll win because he…
/r/askTRP26/07/16 12:19 AM
1

that's fucked up that she said that. a) she shouldn't compare you to other guy's she's been with while blowing you. b) she definitely shouldn't make a judgmental statement when being intimate with you. but if you wanna work things out in a healthy way, you shouldn't walk out. instead of coming back at her negative with a negative, perhaps offer something constructive to the dialogue like "comparing me to other men makes me feel (whatever)." or "i like it when you do (whatever), that might help t…
/r/askTRP26/07/16 12:10 AM
1

not to mention if she brings up her ex twice...there's issues there. doesn't mean she wants him back (not that it doesn't), but it definitely means he's part of her life in some way (friend/enemy) and you gotta decide if that's gonna be a problem for you.
/r/askTRP26/07/16 12:00 AM
1

i'd nix anyone who asked about your car. probably shallow...unless you're really into cars and she was trying to take an interest in what interests you.
/r/askTRP25/07/16 11:59 PM
1

a) "good" is relative, so statistically speaking... most likely. good for you? that depends on if you ever decide what that would entail for you personally or if you find it necessary to exist at all. b) not a fool, it's biologically ingrained in us to procreate. c) another relative postulate. d) "bottom feeder sluts" is also a relative label, some would argue that they might just be in touch with, open about, and unashamed of their sexuality. however, a deduction can be made from this statement…
/r/askTRP25/07/16 11:53 PM
2

always best to stick with no means no. actions can be misinterpreted. listen to what she says. when she flat out tells you to fuck her, then you can cross the moral dilemma that is being a side-piece. there are so many consenting women, why bother with one that you have to push with?
/r/askTRP25/07/16 11:38 PM
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